Cairo (1942) - full transcript

After the Cavity Rock, California Times Leader newspaper is chosen as America's typical small town newspaper, reporter Homer Smith gets to abroad and report on the war in a series of articles to be shared with other small-town newspapers. He has a number of adventures including having his ship sink while en route to Cairo. He meets another survivor, Philo Cobson, who gives him a message to deliver to a woman in Cairo - should he survive. He delivers the message but convinces himself that an American singer-actress, Marcia Warren, is a spy. She in turn believes he's the spy. Mistaken identities abound but it all works out in the end.

Madam, would you mind
putting your hat on?

Thank you.

- Homer.
- Oh.

You're wanted down at the
newspaper office, right away.

Wait till this number is over.

You've seen this thing eight times,
and it's three years old.

This is the last picture
Marcia Warren made in this country.

See it again tomorrow night,
but Mr. Boggs says you to come now.

Oh, in a minute.

He says, it's an emergency.

Oh, alright.

- Say, what is this all about?
- You're a fine one to ask.

- Homer, congratulations.
- Well, Mr. Boggs...

- I never was so tickled at all.
- Will you, please...

- Homer, we've made it.
- Made what?

- Mr. Boggs, you mean to say...
- Sure, I mean it.

The "Cavity Rock, California
Times Leader" has been picked

as America's most typical
small town newspaper.

- Oh, that means, t-that our...
- Exactly, my boy.


Speech! Speech! Speech!

Friends, friends.
Quiet, just a minute, please.

If I may be permitted
to say a word?

Go ahead.

As editor and publisher of

the "Cavity Rock,
California Times Leader"

it is my honor to announce
to you that it has been selected

by the Small Town Newspaper
Association of the United States

to supply to its fellow
members a series of dispatches

to be entitled "The small
town looks at the war".

Naturally, the author
of these dispatches

will be none other than
that small town reporter

our own, Homer Smith.

Thank you, ladies and
gentlemen... and friends.

Uh, I want you to know, that
I'll be on the job every minute.

As your correspondent,
it'll be my duty

to get the story first... get
all of it and get it right.

The eyes of every small town
in this country, will look to...

As I was saying.

The, um, eyes of every
small town in this country...



Um... ahoy.

Small world, what?

It looks pretty big
from where I sit.

Mind if I sit, where you sit?

Getting a bit clammy down here.

Oh, excuse me.

Steady, grab it.


There... now, we're cozy.
Nice of you to have me.

Formal to know that,
the name's Cobson.

Oh, I remember you.
You're the fellow that got so excited

when the convoy wouldn't
stop at your Gibraltar.

See, if they'd let you off,
you'd have missed all this.

Oh, nothing really,
I'm an adventurer at heart.

Me too. My name is Homer.

Not really, I'd have sworn
you were dead.

Oh, you're thinking of the
old Greek poet. He's dead.

- My name is Homer Smith.
- Oh.

I'm from Cavity Rock, California.

California, that's in America,
isn't it?

Just about the best part
of it, that's all.

- You're an Englishman, right?
- How did you guess it?

Well, I sort of train
myself to notice things.

- I'm a newspaper man.
- Eh.

Piece of chocolate?

- Oh, thank you very much.
- Not at all.

- What do you do, Mr. Cobson?
- Do, old chap?

No, I mean, what's your profession?

Oh, a little of this, a little
of that. Not much of anything.

Mm... that pipe sure smells good.


- Mr. Cobson.
- Call me, Philo.

- Why?
- That's my name. My given name.

No good being standoffish, right?
We're in tight quarters.

- Philo, where are we?
- That's an odd question, Homer.

I assume we're on
the cold blue Mediterranean.

Yes, but where on
the Mediterranean?

That's hard to say, really.

What with one wave looking
so much like another wave.

Last I heard, we were
hugging the Libyan coast.

Which should be over there.

Seems pretty far
for a right close hug.

I wish we had some sort of a sail.

A sail?

It seems to me, I recall
hearing of a chap, you...

I say, Homer, how about
a puff of the old burner?

- No, I don't wanna deprive you.
- Nonsense, old beam, go ahead.

Uh-huh, thank you.

Seems to me this lad
used himself as a mast

put his coat on back, what
he did, he tied the two ends

to the gunnels
of his little boat.

- Ingenious, what?
- Why not try it with me?

Oh, how would it
look, my sitting back

enjoying the smoke. While
you serve me as a bleeding mast.

- Mr. Cobson.
- Philo.

- Philo, I insist.
- I don't want to give offence.

Take your coat off.

If you don't mind, Homer?

Point yourself just a shade
to the South East.

There, that does it, my bucko.

I wish, I had
my Piper Cub with me.

Piper Cub?
Pet animal, is it?

No, it's an aeroplane.
I'm not very good at it.

I've only soared it,
a couple of times.

I'd like to be flying
due East from here, right now.

That's where I've
got to get to, Cairo.

It's Cairo
for both of us, laddie.

How do you like
the Libyan desert? Weird what?

I wonder if we're in friendly,
or in enemy territory.

We'll find out soon enough.


Cleaned to the Queen's taste.

Mind if I look at it?

Outside of some ducks,
I've never done very much shooting.

Sure, handles nice.

Watch what you're doing!
Give me that gun.

Put out that fire.

- Who are you?
- We are Italians, we surrender.

But you can't surrender to us.
We're not soldiers.

But we do surrender.

We don't want to capture you.
What will we do with you?

Turn us over to the British.

Well, I never heard
of such a thing.

They're frightened,
they must be British guns.

There's your chance to surrender.
Those are British guns.

No, they're not. They're German.
They mustn't catch us.

German guns?
That's not good for us, either.

- We shouldn't get caught.
- What do we do?

- You got any money?
- In my money belt.

Stick to the shore.
Buy your way, native to native.

Don't flash any more money
than you have to.

We ought to separate?

There's less chance being caught
singly than together, right?

Right, which way's the shore?
I guess, I can't miss it.

I'd lend you my automatic, but I
may need it, heading inland.

Yeah, sure.

Well, Homer, nice
knowing you and all that.

- Look, Mr. Cobson.
- Philo.

Look, Philo, if you
get through and I don't.

Will you send a message for me
to the "Cavity Rock Times Leader",

Cavity Rock, California.

Just say... well, just say,
"When you last saw me

I was getting the story
first, right, and all of it."

Stout fellow.

You can do
the same for me, Homer.

Just name it, Philo.

- Now, listen carefully.
- Mm-hm.

If and when you get to Cairo.
Go to the Viceroy Hotel

at precisely 5 o'clock in
the afternoon. Go to the bar.

There you'll find a woman
drinking a rainbow cocktail

with two cherries in it.

Put that book and pencil away,
you've got to remember it.

That woman's name
is Mrs. Morrison.

- Oh, what does she look like?
- I don't know, I never met her.

Once you've established
her identity,

you'll say, in exactly these words:

"Every precaution must be taken.
We cannot afford to fail."

Every precaution must be taken.
We cannot afford to fail.

- Right.
- Boy, what a story.

- Wait 'till I get this on the wire.
- This is one story you can't print.

I know you're a newspaper man,
but you can't have this story, yet.

- Why not?
- Because...

Because... well, you'll
know sooner or later.

I happen to be a member
of British Intelligence.


Well, then this-this must
be some kind of espionage.

In a way.

- What kind of spies?
- Well, ah, saboteurs.

Group of Nazi agents,
known to the FBI and us as the Big Six.

They operate in
and about Cairo.

Their leader is a woman.

Well, what kind of
sabotage are they working at?

I can't tell you anymore.

This is a vital
and important mission.

The eyes of my country
and yours are on you, Homer.

- Keep your wit sharp.
- I'll do my best.

Right. Chin up, old chap.

Oh, Phil...

Sure wish, I knew,
what a rainbow cocktail was.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Pardon me, but... that a rainbow cocktail
with two cherries in it?

What if it is?

Well... if, if it is, eh,
is your name Morrison?

- What if it is?
- Well, is it?

Well, suppose we call the house
detective and let him decide.

You've got me all wrong.
I-I was suppose to...

Will I call him or will you?

Well... I guess, I...
must be a little confused.

- Give me a beer, please.
- Yes, sir.

- Your beer, sir.
- Well, thank you.

By the way, do you know a woman
around here who always orders

a rainbow cocktail
with two cherries in it?

Many of our clients drink their
rainbows with two cherries.

Particularly, women.

- Oh, I see. Thank you.
- Not at all, sir.

Rainbow, please.
With two cherries.

Rainbow with two cherries.

Just like always,
eh, Mrs. Morrison?

- Morrison? Morrison?
- Where did you get that pipe?

Why didn't you tell me who you were?

Where did you get that pipe?

Mr. Cobson, forgot it when
we were separated on the desert.

How we got separated is,
we were ship wrecked.

- Where is Cobson?
- I don't know.

The reason we separated,
is that if I got on alone.

- I was to give you a message.
- Alright, give it to me.

There isn't very much to it.
He told me to tell you, quote

"Every precaution must be taken.
We cannot afford to fail."

Unquote. What I
really want to know...

- Is that all?
- Well, just about.

Oh, I see.

Well, Mister...

- What is the name?
- Eh, Smith.

Homer Smith.
I'm a newspaper man.

- Did Cobson know that?
- Oh, sure.

But I told him I wouldn't
write the story, yet.

Especially, after he told me
who he was.

He told you who he was?

- British Intelligence.
- Oh.

Well, it wasn't very intelligent
of that Briton, I must say.

An American newspaper man,
of all people.

Mrs. Morrison, I can't say,
I don't want this story. I do.

It's a great one,
and I've got it first.

But I want it right and all of it.

British Intelligence has your word?

I won't write a line
till it's over.

- But then, I want it.
- It's a bargain.

Now, Mr. Smith. If there's any
little thing I can do for you...

There is something I would like.

- I would like.
- Yeah?

To know the name of the woman
who heads the Big Six.

The leader of the Big Six?
Mr. Smith, that's impossible.

- Even we only suspect her.
- I promised I won't use it.

We'd like to help you
keep your promise.

Can't you give me some leads,
something to start on?

Perhaps, I can help you make
sure. I've got to get to work.

Well, I suppose after all
we do owe you a great deal.

Are you fond of music, Mr. Smith?

Well, I'm sort of musical.
W-what's that got to do?

- Lovely, isn't she?
- Oh, sure, she is.

- That's Marcia Warren.
- Mm-hm.

If I were you, I'd start
following my lead in that room.

You mean...

Oh, why, that's ridiculous.
Marcia Warren, the movie star?

Oh, she can't be...

Why, I've been a fan of hers
for years.

- Firstly, I didn't say she was.
- No, but to even suspect her.

And secondly, as a writer and
a man of imagination, Mr. Smith.

If you were to spy
and you wanted a profession

that would give you freedom
of movement and access

to important men,
with important information.

Yeah, being a beautiful
movie star would be ideal.

But Marcia Warren.
Why, she's American...

As a matter of fact, she's
been out of the country for

three years, ever since she
made that picture in England.

I'd be very careful,
Mr. Smith. Very careful.

For more reasons than one.

I'll be careful, alright.
I'll get on this, right away.

If you, pardon me, Miss Morr...

- Oh, you Americans.
- See you later, Mrs. Morrison.

Wonderful! Marvelous!

Marcia, won't you give us just
one more round? Just one.

Thank you. I'd love to,
but I really can't.

It's 6 now, and I've gotta sing
at the RAF at 8

and then over back here,
for the victory ball at 10.

Sorry, I just can't possibly,
tomorrow I've got...

- What do I've to do tomo...
- Tomorrow, you've a busy day,

rehearsing for
the Native Festival.

Yes, and-and isn't
tomorrow the day for

our-our weekly change
of butlers or something?

Yes, I've ordered a whole batch
of 'em to report at 10 a.m.

Thank you, Miss Warren.
You were delightful.

- Cleo?
- I'm right here, Ms. Marcia.

I'm in good voice this morning.
Did you hear me?

Couldn't help, but not
without leaving Egypt.

♪ Not a thought, not a care,
with a heart, debonair ♪

♪ I pray you'll see ♪

♪ Like a lock in the door.
In the door must be gone ♪

♪ Do I sing merrily? ♪

♪ So clean, so now bring ♪

♪ Bring the towel please ♪

♪ From the rack over there ♪

♪ Yes, Miss Marcia,
I'll bring the towel to you ♪

Darlin', I'm getting tired of
bathing in a swimming pool.

Something indecent about it.

I had such a cozy, little
bathtub in Beverly Hills.

The acoustics were better too.

Hot water ran, hot.
The cold water ran, cold.

Everything worked the way
it was suppose to.

I want to go home.

That was the trouble with America.
It was too mechanized.

It was... what was it doing
to your soul?

Stifling it.

Yeah, you couldn't sing,
because you didn't suffer.

Why did you have to come all the
way to Europe just to suffer?

You thought doing a picture in
England was a very good idea.

Then, that awful summer. Oh!

The trouble you had getting to
the south of France, no director

in Hollywood could get you
to do a gig without a double.

The Nazis have chased
me out for the last time.

There's only one place
I'll run to from here on.

That's Beverly Hills, California.

I'll settle for
Harlem, Basin Street,

Central Avenue
and all points in between.

Amen, sister.
I want to go home.

Where a gas station
looks like the Taj Mahal.

And a restaurant
looks like a hat.

I've been away long,
as soon as you, Miss Marcia.

I miss everything, you miss.

- Plus...
- Plus what?

A nice colored boy who speaks
something besides French

or goes around in a night gown

in which case
he turns out to be an Arab.

But how about picking
yourself out a new butler?

The downstairs hall is full of them.
You better come look.


There they are.

Look at that one in the middle.

How did he get in there?

He belongs in "Goodbye, Mr. Chips."

Have him come up
and tell rest to wait.


The young gentleman
in the middle.

The one under the hat.

That's right.

Do you speak English?

Oh, rather.

That's all we need.
Would you please, come upstairs?

The rest of you
gentlemen can wait.

- Miss Warren, will see you.
- Thank you.

- English?
- Rather.

Why do I ask silly questions?

Sit down please.

The young man
is here, Miss Marcia.

Oh, alright.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

Have you been in service long?

All rather.

- Who was your last employer?
- I beg your pardon, old boot.

Um. Your last employer.

- Who was he?
- Lord Cobson.

Lord Philo Cobson.

Oh, oh, Cobby.

Dear, dear, old Cobby.

We're very good friends,
you know?

Tell me, how are the twins?

Oh, just, uh...

Oh, fine, top...
hold, ripping.

Who do you think
you're kidding, bub?

- Kidding?
- Oh. Stop it. You're awful.

If there's anything you learn
from making musical pictures

it's how to recognize bad acting.

Sit down.

Tell me now.

What made you think

I'd be insane enough
to think you were British?

Why, I thought that there'll
be a chance of getting the job.

Why do you want it?

Hard up. Is that it?

- You in any trouble?
- No. No. No.

Don't lie to me. Someone
in the British Intelligence

is a very good friend of mine.

- She is?
- He is.

So, you're thousands of
miles from home and broke.

Yes. That's it alright.

I thought so.

Tell me Mr., uh...


Oh. Couldn't you do
better than that?

You might as well as said, Smith.

No. It is Jones.

Juniper Jones.

Tell me, Mr. Jones.

What part of America are you from?



- Southern California?
- No. Northern California.


- What do you mean, oh?
- I mean, oh.

You're from Northern California,
not Southern California.

You sound as if there was
something wrong about coming

from Northern California,
instead of Southern California.

Oh, I didn't say that. It's that
I live in Southern California.

You mean, being a movie actress,
you work there?

- I also live there.
- Because you work there.

It's not uncommon, you know. For
people to live where they work.

I just said that, because
if you didn't have to live

in Southern California,
you wouldn't.

I happen to like
Southern California.

Have you ever been
in Northern California?

Look. Mr. Jones.

I have a charming home
in Beverly Hills.

True, I work there, but even
if I didn't, I'd live there.

I like Beverly Hills.
Do you mind?

Have you ever been
in San Francisco?

Yes. Once, with Gable and Tracy.

And the joint fell apart.

Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine.

Day in and day out.
It stupefies your brain.

It thins out your blood.
It withers everything it touches.

- Hasn't withered Lana Turner.
- No.

Southern California,
the desert of human thought.

Fruit without flavor.
Flowers that don't smell.

You don't have that
trouble up north.

Everything smells.
Fog, fog, day in and day out.

Straightens out your hair
like it had been pressed.

Fog in your lungs.
Fog in your clothes.

- Dripping off the building.
- It's romantic.

What's romantic about
not being able to see your hand

in front of your face?

Can't tell whether you're
on the street or a Turkish bath.

Frisco, huh!
You can have it.

Don't you call it Frisco.
It's San Francisco.

- Frisco!
- San Francisco!

- Frisco!
- San Francisco!

- Frisco!
- San Francisco!

You gentlemen, can all
return to the central casting.

We've got just the man
we've been looking for.

Cavity Rock? What is it,
an uncharted Island?

Navy has checked it against
everything in the Red Sea

Mediterranean area, sir.
No luck.

- Nothing on it, in our files?
- Not a thing, sir.

Certainly is strange.

Are you sure the man's Cobson?

As sure as I can be, sir.

Why on earth would a top flight
Nazi agent, try to decode

a song by Marcia Warren?

Why be engaged by her
as a butler?

He's obviously after something, sir.

Yes. But what?

What would Marcia Warren,
of all women...

- Fin Tan.
- Yes, sir.

Get Miss Marcia Warren on the
telephone for me, will you?

Yes, sir.

You say, Miss Warren engaged
Cobson, personally?

She interviewed him alone.
I could hear their voices

but not what they said.
They seem to know each other.

This gets stranger every minute.

- Miss Warren is out, shopping.
- Thank you.

What makes you think
they knew each other?

They started to quarrel
almost instantly.

- They were still at it I left.
- Hmm.

You keep your eye on Cobson.
I'll call Miss Warren

this evening and
have a talk with her.

- Shall I arrest him, sir?
- Oh, no, no.

Get in touch
with Egyptian authority

to find out what passport,
and what name he's using.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, sir.

Cavity Rock.

Vases are kinda cute.

Bet I can pick 'em up for a song.

Who cares if they don't fit
an early American powder room?

I'll bet no early American,
ever heard of a powder room.

After all, it is something
to be able to wave casually

to a pair of lamps

and just sort of let slip,
that you...

...picked them up in Cairo...


I, uh, was looking for some
objects of art with a view to...



Are you in the habit of
screaming a perfect high C?

I-I have every reason to scream.
And I don't scream flat.

Are you in the habit of
letting those little beasts

run all over your customers?

I prefer them to most
of my customers.

- What can I do for you, Madam?
- Oh, nothing. Thank you.

This isn't the YWCA, is it?

- Hardly.
- No, I thought not.

Good day.

Mr. Smith?

Oh, Mrs. Morrison.

- What are you doing here?
- This will hand you a laugh.

Well, I can use one.

I've been following the
leader of the Big Six.

- Who?
- Marcia Warren.

I was trailing her,
and she nearly caught me.

I ducked into this shop,
and she followed me in.

Luckily, she got scared by a
couple of mice and screamed.

- Oh, she screamed, did she?
- Like an air-raid siren.


Well, I imagine,
when a singer screams

she usually screams in
a pretty high note, huh?

Oh, I was too scared to notice.

- What are you doing here?
- Oh, I often come in here.

It's an interesting
place, isn't it?

It sure is.
It's got secret panels.


See those butterflies back there?

Well. What about them?

Well, they open
up just like... a door.

Well, I...

At least, I thought they did.

The Orient is getting you down.

Tell me, how is your
story progressing?

Oh, I'll get it, alright.

You know, uh...
I'm Marcia Warren's butler now.

- You are?
- That's why I was following.

- Keep track of her movements.
- Well.

You're in a better position than
any of us to get information.

You know we've tried to get
a man under her house

and you succeeded
where we failed.

Oh, just luck, that's all.

You hurry back,
before she misses you.

When am I gonna see you,
and get more of my story?

It won't be long now, Mr. Smith.

- And remember...
- I know. I know.

You want it all.
You want it right.

- And you want it first.
- That's right.

- Well, good bye, Mrs. Morrison.
- Right.

Tuning fork. Butterfly panels
that open like doors.

Tell me something?

How can a tuning fork and a
screaming woman open the door?

By emitting the same note.

In this case, the note of high C.

It is a simple device, used
commercially all over the world.

Sound filter. It rejects
all sounds, except one.

Which is then properly amplified

and converted into
electrical energy.

There upon, it opens the door.

Well, I know a much better device.


A door knob.

- Well?
- You heard the conversation.

It's the young idiot who
brought the message from Cobson.

You out of your mind?
How could you let him out?

I'm more interested
in the panel popping open.

Just because that woman
screamed a high C...

I can't see any reason
why we don't go in

and out of doors
like ordinary people.

If it goes wrong, thank that
Arabian Wizard of Oz upstairs.

My dear lady.

Tomorrow night we'll see your
mission completed successfully.

You will owe everything
to Ahmed Ben Hassan.

For without him,
you couldn't possibly succeed.

Now, forget your feminine
distaste for what you don't

understand long enough to tell
us, what conceivable advantage

was there in not
killing the young man.

We only have 36 hours to wait.

He'll keep quiet that long.

And after that?

- We'll discuss it, then.
- We'll discuss it, now.

'Will he be killed
tomorrow night?'

I will see to it... myself.

What is it this time, Ahmed?
Another experiment?

Not an experiment.

A cold fact.

The object on the alter is a
block of finely tempered steel.

Such as is used in the construction
of battleships or troop transports.

Any American troop
transport in particular?

The plane, is a miniature, of the one
I'm assembling out at the pyramid.

It is radio controlled.

I should've thought you oughta
be able to operate it

with a harmonica.

You must imagine the top of
the alter as the Suez Canal.

The block is highly magnetized.

This is synchronized with
the radio control of the plane.

At a predetermined point, in the
volume of the magnetic field.

- The plane'll strike the ship.
- Very thoughtful of you, Ahmed.

A preview, as it were,
what will happen tomorrow night.

If any part of the plane, hits
the ship, it'll blow it to bits.

The wings, fuselage,
even the propeller hubs.

- Will be impregnated with...
- With what?

If I told you that,
the war will be over.

And you would have won it.
And the history of the world

would become
the history of Germany.

It seems to be the general idea
sooner or later.

- Are we long to wait, Ahmed?
- Not too long.

Let me know the outcome.
I have an appointment.

Sit down.

I don't see, why I need
to watch this trick?

- Sit down.
- I've been sent by Germany

to assist in the destruction
of an American troop transport.

And the sabotage of the Suez canal.

I'd give my life to succeed.
I believe our way is right.

That our race and our nation
must control the world.

But I cannot reconcile
that belief to dependence

on a Mongol Oriental
to win our victories for us.

I said, sit down.

And now, with your permission. No?

Watch the plane.



- Bravo, Ahmed.
- It is still smoldering .

Au revoir.

♪ We can do it again
and we will do it again ♪

♪ We've gotta
heck of a job to do ♪

♪ But you can bet
we can see it through ♪

♪ We did it before
and we can do it again ♪

♪ And we will do it again ♪

♪ We're one for all
and we're all for one ♪

♪ Together we can
make war with them ♪

♪ Millions of voices
are ringing ♪

♪ Singing as we march along ♪

♪ Hey we did it before
and we can do it again ♪

♪ And we will do it again ♪

♪ We'll knock them over
and then we'll get ♪

♪ The guy in back of them ♪

♪ We did it before
we'll do it again ♪

No, no, no, gentlemen.

The entire message will be lost.

The music must be distinct.

It must exist by itself.

I know, the music's new
to most of you and the audience.

But to some it will be not only
be familiar, but significant.

It's for those few, I want to
say something through music.

Something important
to them and to me.

- Oh, Juniper.
- Yes, ma'am?

- Did you bring enough for six?
- Yes ma'am, for six.

For si... uh.

Oh. Thank you.
Just leave it.

Now, let's start from
the beginning, shall we?

No, no, Max.
You're being careless.

Don't slide over the notes.
Play them.

Each one counts.

What are you pointing at me for?

I, uh, was just making sure
that I had enough.

Uh, what about those men?
Are they part of the big...

...I mean, are they part of the six?

Oh, no, they're not staying.
We're the six.

I know.

Let's play it the way
we're going to tomorrow night.

So, everything will
work out beautifully, hmm?

A full rehearsal, boys.
Right from the beginning, hmm?

Alright, gentlemen.

♪ Come oh songs ♪

♪ Come oh dreams ♪

♪ Soft the gates of day close ♪

♪ Sleep my birds sleep streams ♪

♪ Sleep my wild rose ♪

♪ Woods, I walk your boughs ♪

♪ Hills, I walk
your elf-throngs ♪

♪ Land, all thy hopes and woes ♪

♪ Ring from me in songs ♪

♪ I'm the love ♪

♪ Of the sky blue water ♪

♪ They brought a captive maid ♪

♪ She sings ♪

♪ On the sky blue water ♪

♪ Oh, come take me ♪

♪ In you ♪

♪ Drifting with the current
down a moonlit stream ♪

♪ While above the heavens
in their glory gleam ♪

♪ Beautiful Ohio,
in dreams again I see ♪

♪ Visions of what used to be ♪

♪ Watch them shuffling along ♪

♪ See them shuffling along ♪

♪ Go get your best gal,
I mean your real pal ♪

♪ And go down to the levee
I said to the levee ♪

♪ And join that
shuffling throng ♪

♪ Where you hear
that music and song ♪

♪ It's simply great, Jake ♪

♪ Waiting on the levee ♪

♪ Waiting for the
Robert E. Lee. Yeah ♪

♪ Woo-hoo Woo-hoo ♪

♪ There's a steam boat
coming round a bend ♪

♪ Don't you hear
that whistle blow? ♪

♪ Watch them shuffling along ♪

♪ See them shuffling along ♪

♪ Get your best gal,
I mean your real pal ♪

♪ Go down to the levee ♪

♪ I said to the levee ♪

♪ Join that shuffling throng ♪

♪ Hear that music and song ♪

♪ It's simply great mate
waiting on the levee ♪

♪ I said the levee ♪

♪ Waiting for the Robert E. Lee ♪

♪ I found my love in Avalon ♪

♪ Beside the bay ♪

♪ I left my love in Avalon ♪

♪ And sailed away ♪

♪ I dream of him in Avalon ♪

♪ From dusk till dawn ♪

♪ And so I think I'll travel on ♪

♪ To Avalon ♪

♪ We want to go back home ♪

♪ We want to go back home ♪

♪ We want to go back to Avalon ♪

♪ Home, home sweet home ♪

♪ There is no place like home ♪

♪ There's no place ♪

♪ Like home ♪♪

San Francisco.

Beverly Hills.

New York.


♪ In old New York ♪

♪ There's a lady in the bay ♪

♪ And she watches night and day ♪

♪ As the boys sail away ♪

♪ In her hand there is a light
for them to see ♪

♪ It's the light of liberty ♪

♪ And that same flame must burn ♪

♪ On the day when they return ♪

♪ Keep the light burning
bright in the harbor ♪

♪ Keep it bright ♪

♪ Through the night ♪

♪ Till the clouds roll away ♪

♪ On that star spangled day ♪

♪ Keep the light in the bay
burning bright ♪

♪ Like a far reaching star
in the harbor ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Till our world
of marching men ♪

♪ All come sailing home again ♪

♪ Keep a light burning
bright till then ♪

♪ Keep a light burning
bright in the harbor ♪

♪ Keep it bright ♪

♪ Through the night ♪

♪ Till the clouds roll away ♪

♪ On that star spangled day ♪

♪ Keep the light in the bay
burning bright ♪

♪ Like a far reaching star
in the harbor ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Till the world
of marching men ♪

♪ All come sailing home again ♪

♪ Keep a light burning bright ♪

♪ Till then ♪

Thank you, gentlemen.

See you tomorrow night
at the festival.

- Bye.
- Goodbye.

Recess boys.
We'll take up the rest later.

Help yourself to some food.

I see, the music got
to you a little, Juniper.

It certainly did, Miss Warren.

Oh, sit down.

They're the most beautiful
songs of all to me.

Because they are not just music,
they say something.

Something personal.
To you, to me.

Every other American.
They tell us about home.

I've got to ask you something
I can make heads or tails of.

What is it?

It didn't make sense when I
first heard it. And then it did.

The reason a phone rings

is so that a butler knows when
to answer it.

And then, it didn't make sense again.

And then, it did.
And now, it doesn't, again.

Neither do you.

What are you driving at?

Firstly, I've got to
tell you that...

Miss Warren,
it's Madam Laruga.

Well, it's about time.
You can tell me later, Juniper.

Madame, where on earth
are those prints?

I simply got to have them
for tomorrow night.

Well, what good will that do?
There isn't time.

If those prints aren't right,
everything will be ruined.

The dresses are already finished.

They're on their way to you.

Uh, it was a difficult pattern.

Oh, not at all,
the designs were very simple.

No, I don't carry them with me.

And I haven't got them handy,
they're upstairs in my desk.

It's too late for that, now.
What good will that do?

Hmm, no, thank you, no potatoes.

I said, no thank you,
no potatoes.

- No potatoes?
- No potatoes.

Oh, no potatoes...


Mm-hmm, oh.

Tell me, do you drink an awful lot?

I never touch alcoholic liquor.

Uh, I'm down here, Juniper.


Is everything...

I mean there's no chance
of the message not getting over.


And the prints,
they're okay too, I suppose.

Oh, the prints.

Just exactly, what I needed.


It certainly is nice
out tonight, Miss Warren.

Heavenly, Juniper.

You know, what I'd do if
I had a concert tomorrow night?

No. What?

Take a nice long walk, tonight,
get my lungs full of fresh air.

As a matter of fact, I always do that,
in the morning.

Night air is supposed to be bad
for you, you know.

Oh, that's just an old superstition.

In the daytime, the air is full
of dust and carbon monoxide.

At night, it's clean... and fresh.

- Full of romance and moonlight.
- Mm-hmm.

How soon will you be through
with the dishes, Juniper?


I really...

Uh, it wouldn't look right for
you to go walking with a butler.

You are no butler.

Well, I think,
Cleo ought to go with you.

But the cook will be out,
there will be no one, but you.

Well, I'm no thief, Miss Warren.

Frankly, Juniper,
I'm going nearly crazy

trying to figure out
just what you are.

I'm just doing
my job, that's all.

Well, perhaps, you're right.

Certainly, it's too nice
a night to waste entirely.

Tell Cleo, she's to go walking
with me after dinner.

Yes, ma'am.
Uh, a nice long walk.

Why is it better for
a woman to go walking

with their maid,
than with their butler?

Because a maid is a female,
and the butler is a male.

Sometimes, I wonder
about that too.

Colonel Woodhue is here,
Miss Warren.

Colonel Woodhue?

- That will be all, Juniper.
- Yes, ma'am.

He don't know nothing
about the movies

or he'd have landed
smack in them mashed potatoes.

Are you hurt, Juniper?


Tell the colonel to come in.

I am in.
Good evening, Miss Warren.

How do you do, Colonel?
It's so nice to see you.

Bring the colonel chair, Cleo.

Sorry to interrupt your dinner
but I did want to see you.

Oh, not at all. Sit down.
Won't you have something to eat?

No, I've had wine.

That takes care of my manners.


Let me guess, what you want
to see me about?

Yes, I'd be happy to sing for
the soldiers. Where and when?

We don't bother asking you
anymore, Miss Warren.

We just assign you.

Matter of fact, I've come on
pretty serious business.

I'll do anything I can to help,
the more serious the better.

No, thank you, Juniper.
No salad.

I said no salad, Juniper.
Thank you.


You may take the things
away, Juniper.

Yes, ma'am.

Juniper, he's new, isn't he?

Juniper Jones, brand new.

- An odd name.
- A phony.

But he's an American
and obviously hard up.

So, I gave him the job.

Is that all you know about him?

Well, he's not too bright.

But he's kind of cute.
Very attentive.

- I should think, he would be.
- Do you know him?

- Know of him?
- Well, tell me.

Come, now, it isn't exactly
tea-table gossip.

Oh, now, don't tell me
Juniper's a Jap.

Not a bad guess.

I, uh, I don't suppose you ever
heard of Philo Cobson?

Philo Cobson?

- Lord Philo Cobson?
- What about him?

Juniper's former employer.
Why, that's odd.

Not only odd,
but very stupid of him.

We've, uh,
we've reason to believe...

...that Juniper Jones
is Philo Cobson.

- But he's not English.
- Whatever his nationality.

We suspect him
to be Philo Cobson.

A well known
and dangerous Nazi agent.

- Are you sure?
- Reasonably sure.

We're checking up on him, now.



So, that's why night air
is better than day air.

That's why it wouldn't be right
for a butler to...

Colonel Woodhue.

He's trying to get Cleo
and me to leave him alone.

Which you must not do
under any circumstances.

But what shall I do?
I haven't played many spy parts.

Well, first and most important

you must get him out
of the house, tonight.

And while he's gone,
search his room.

I see.

I should do to him
what he was gonna do to me.

You're the only one that can.
This will mean a great deal...

Uh, will you have some
coffee, colonel?

Thank you, no.
I must be getting along.


If you've got any doubts,
watch him react to this.

One thing about the German language
it's certainly easy to recognize.

- Does it sound familiar?
- Not to me.

And no coffee,
thank you, Juniper.

Uh, Juniper's an odd name,
isn't it?

It sure is.

It's gotten a lot colder
out here, hasn't it?

- Uh, Cleo.
- Yes, Miss Marcia?

Please send Juniper
to the store for something.

- For what?
- I don't know. What do we need?

Nothing and the stores
are all closed.

He's too smart, anyway.
He'll find an excuse to stay in.

Is that bad?

Oh, don't ask me why, Cleo, but...

...he's gotta be out tonight
and we gotta be in.

We'll go out.
Let him be in?

No, that's just exactly
what he wants.

He won't go out,
if we don't go out.

We can't go out
if he doesn't go out.

If we won't go out unless he
goes out, maybe, he'll go out.

Miss Warren, I think,
you better take a nice warm bath

and lay down.


I've got it.

I've got it!

- Juniper.
- Yes, ma'am.

Uh, would you like
to go see a show?

I think, that'd be very nice,
Miss Warren.

Good. Here's the money,
you go get the tickets.

I'm sorry, Miss Warren,
I couldn't think of you paying.

- Oh, don't be silly.
- I insist.

Well, it's awfully nice of you.

Not at all.
Pardon me.

- What is he doing, Miss Warren?
- I don't know.

Looks like, he's trying
to commit hara-kiri.

Uh, have you an old operation
that's bothering you?

Oh, it's my money belt,
I keep my money in it.

Well, that settles it.

If I met a stranger
who wore a money belt

I'd know he was a spy.

Alright, alright, alright.

I'm sorry, Miss Warren

I guess, you'll have to loan me
the money, after all.

I haven't any more
Egyptian money and I have only...

...$100 bills in my money belt.

Imagine, nothing to your name,
but a belt full of c-notes.


They're $100 bills.
They're also called yards.

That's, uh, gangster language.


Well, I, uh, I think,
I prefer c-notes.

It's, uh, more my type.
Don't you think?

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

C-notes? No wonder
he carries 'em in his girdle.

So would I.

- Uh, is everything alright?
- Oh, yes.

The way she looked at me,
you would've thought I was a spy.

- Imagine.
- Silly, isn't it?

What's a spy?

Uh, well...

Miss Warren, I just remembered

I forgot to get your wrap
for tomorrow night.

Oh, how could you do
a thing like that?

I better get to a phone,
right away.

Oh, by all means.
Is there a telephone handy?

Oui, madame, in the ladieslounge.
Come, I'll show you.

- We'll only be a moment.
- Yes, ma'am.

Look, when those two
ladies I was with come back

tell them, uh, tell them
I was sick and had to leave.

The young man who came
with the two ladies.

You have to tell that they took
suddenly ill and had to leave.

- Hmm, epidemic.
- Who?

Oh, this is exasperating.

Whenever I have a scene
like this in a picture

the first window is always open.

- Can't we use the front door?
- Oh, no, we'd be seen.

I'm sure he's got
somebody watching us.

Darn it!
There goes a nail.

I don't leave any windows open.

I keep this place locked
like a tomb.

Suppose, you've gotta key
to the back door.

No, you've got a key,
and it's to the front door.

Miss Warren, look.

When I die, I want you
to lock up my tomb.

And I'll be sure to come back
and haunt you.

Don't step on any lights.

I hope his door is unlocked.

What's that?

That silly cat must have
sneaked in the house with us.

I hope.

- Nothing to be scared about.
- Isn't there?

Yes, there is. I'm scared stiff,
but I'm going in anyway.

You wait here and watch.

- Watch what?
- Oh, anything.

Uh, Miss Warren,
I've got a confession to make.

I'm the biggest coward
in the world.

No, you're not.
You're next to the biggest.


- Did you...
- Oh!

- Did you ring?
- No, I did not ring.

Help me up, will you.
That darn clock!

- What is that, Miss Marcia?
- It's an identification card.

- Why, that's him.
- Yes, but it's not his card.

This card belongs to Homer Smith.

How come?

I know.
Spy's do that all the time.

That's how they collect
false identification.

Do you mean to say...

I mean to say that Juniper
probably murdered Homer Smith.

Juniper's a killer.

Why ain't we on our way
to some place else?

- Oh!
- What's the matter?

- I thought I heard something.
- Oh, silly, come on.

Miss Marcia?

Miss Marcia?

I thought
I heard something, Cleo.

I think I thought
I heard something, Cleo.

Cleo? Cleo?


T-this is loaded.

And-and I know, how to use it.

If-if you've any doubts,
just start something.

I don't doubt you at all.

Then, stay where you are.

Have you a woman accomplice
with you?

Not that I know of.

This room positively reeks
of cheap, vulgar perfume.

Well, it's yours.


I spilled it on me.

- Bless you.
- Thanks.

I guess, I must be
catching cold, I'm...

...soaking wet.

I haven't that much perfume.

No, it's from standing
under the shower.

- With your clothes on?
- Well, I was putting out the fire.

What fire?

- The one I started in here.
- The shower's not in here.

No, I carried the fire
into the bathroom.

I see.

I think it's about time
you stop kidding me, Mr. Cobson.

- Who?
- Should I say, "Herr Cobson"?

- I'm not Cobson.
- Juniper Jones, perhaps.

- No.
- I suppose it's, Homer Smith.

- How did you know?
- I thought you'd pull that one.

Well, whatever your name,
Mr. Cobson, Smith, Jones.

The jig is up.
You stay there.

- Wait a minute.
- Well.

I'll have you know

that on behalf
of the American public

the ones that go
to the movies, that is.

That you're not only betraying
your country, but them also.


Go ahead, turn me over
to the Nazis.

I'll a lot rather die
as a hick newspaper man

than live as a famous
Nazi movie star.

- Bless you.
- Thanks.

I-I, uh, wonder
how long you think

you can keep up this pretense?

Think, you can confuse me
by calling me a Nazi, you Nazi!

Don't you call me a Nazi,
you Nazi.

You're Philo Cobson.

- British Intelligence said so.
- That's a lie!

British Intelligence says,
you head the Big Six.

- What's the Big Six?
- Oh, as if you didn't know.

You mean,
you're not Philo Cobson?

Oh, Cobson, Cobson, I wish,
I'd never let him on my raft.

On, your raft?

That's where I met him,
on a raft in the Mediterranean.

Tell me honestly.
Are you Yahudi?


I'm Homer Smith
from Cavity Rock, California.


I work for the "Times Leader".
I've got papers to prove it.

I've got my driver's license
and my social security number.

Then who is Cobson?

He's from British Intelligence.
He told me so himself.

On that raft?

No, just after we captured
the Italian soldiers.

That's it, brother.

- Stay here.
- What are you gonna do?

- Phone British Intelligence.
- You wouldn't dare.

- Bless you.
- Thanks.

Could I have a blanket,
I'm getting a chill.

Well, certainly.


Who is the Governor of California
known as Sunny Jim?


Describe the Los Angeles River.

It's dusty.

Where are the highest and lowest
points in The United States?

California, Mount Whitney
and Death Valley.

- Bless me.
- Thanks.

Look, Juniper, uh, Homer.

I'm not a spy, believe me.

In the first place,
The Screen Actors Guild

wouldn't stand for it.

Well, what about tomorrow night?

Tomorrow night?
You mean the Native Festival?

You're gonna sing
a song with a message in it?

A message?

Oh, that. Well, you got that
yourself this afternoon.

You got sad because the song
made you think

of America and home.

What about Madame Laruga
and the prints?

Madame Laruga is my dress maker.

She's making me print dresses

which I may or may not wear
tomorrow night.


Well, do you think I'm a spy?

Right now, Junip, uh, Homer,
I wouldn't think you were a spy

if I personally caught
you going through

President Roosevelt's pockets.

- Well, somebody is.
- Yes, I have no doubt of that.

Right now, we better leave that
to Colonel Woodhue to find out.

Chill's getting worse.

You're sick. You better go to
bed. I'll get you some aspirin.

I can feel my heart beating
way up to my head.

Oh, you've got fever.

Your hand sure feels cool.

- Miss Warren.
- Hmm.

I must be delirious
or something because if...

...I was normal, I wouldn't
have the nerve but...

...more than anybody else,
I'm glad you're not a spy.

Oh, that's a very
nice compliment, Homer.

Well, it's the truth. I was
almost sick thinking about it.

- Were you?
- You see, you used to be...

- Yes...
- I mean...

Yes, Homer.

- Well, I was always...
- Yes, Homer.

- I mean, I thought about it.
- Yes.

- It was a...
- Yes.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, darling!

♪ When your world
goes to pieces over night ♪

♪ Something's wrong ♪

♪ Something's wrong ♪

♪ When you don't know your
left shoes from your right ♪

♪ Something's wrong ♪

♪ Mighty wrong ♪

♪ When the clock sips tea
as your head strikes three ♪

♪ And you feel like you're
someone in a Disney dream ♪

♪ Something's wrong ♪

♪ With this entire scheme ♪

♪ Bugs won't bug ♪

♪ Breeze won't breeze ♪

♪ And dew won't dew ♪

♪ One and one ain't even two ♪

♪ When the love you love ♪

♪ Won't love you ♪

♪ Oh, bugs won't bug ♪

♪ Chicks won't chick ♪

♪ And Knicks won't knack ♪

♪ Blue is white ♪

♪ And white is black ♪

♪ When the love you love ♪

♪ Won't love back ♪

♪ On account there's
no accountin' ♪

♪ When you can't have
the one you like ♪

♪ All your troubles
keep on mountin' ♪

♪ The world is on a
sit down strike ♪

♪ 'Cause bugs won't bug ♪

♪ Breeze won't breeze ♪

♪ And dew won't dew ♪

♪ One and one is thirty two ♪

♪ When the love you love ♪

♪ Won't love you ♪

♪ Da-da, do-la-di-do ♪

♪ La-di-do-la-di ♪

♪ Di-do-di-la-di-do-di-da ♪

♪ Ha-di-la-di-do ♪

♪ Di-la-di-do-do ♪

♪ Oh, bugs won't bug ♪

♪ Breeze won't breeze ♪

♪ And the crow won't crow ♪

♪ Eenie-meenies minus Moe ♪

♪ And the love you love
says Hi-ho! ♪

♪ Bugs won't bug ♪

♪ Notes won't note ♪

♪ And knots won't knot ♪

♪ T's won't cross ♪

♪ And your I's won't dot ♪

♪ When the hope you hope ♪

♪ Goes to pot ♪

♪ On account there's
no accountin' ♪

♪ When you can't
bring your dream about ♪

♪ All your troubles
keep on mountin' ♪

♪ And the world is just
a big blackout ♪

♪ 'Cause bugs won't ♪

♪ Breeze won't ♪

♪ Chicks won't ♪

♪ Knicks won't ♪

♪ Dew won't ♪

♪ You won't ♪

♪ COD is IOU ♪

♪ When the dream you dream ♪

♪ Such a lovely dream ♪

♪ When the dream you dream ♪

♪ Won't come true ♪♪

Don't look toward me.
I ain't Mecca.

Go on, just face East,
bow three times and blow.

Don't think that outfit
you got on scares me?

'Cause I've handled them big and
badder than you with pants on.

Don't let this nightgown
fool you, honey.

Hey, who are you?

I ain't the Sun god, sister.

What kinda Arab talks like that?

- Just me.
- What tribe are you from?

The Central Avenue Social
and Easy Introduction Club.

- Central Avenue, Los Angeles?
- Where else?

Why, I belong to the
Lunds Avenue branch, myself!

You can't be no make believe.
You don't feel like no dream.

But what you doing in them togs?

I've been living in the desert
for four years.

- Long way from Central Avenue.
- You're tellin' me.

You see, I wasn't doing so good
back there, except the movies.

There wasn't an Arab picture
shootin', I didn't play Arab.

The only time I was eatin',
was when I was being an Arab.

So, I said to myself, Hector,
that's my name, Hector.

Maybe, you are Arab at heart,
and you just won't give in.

So, I gave in.

I beat the way over here,
and here I am.

- Now, you eating regular.
- No, not all the time.

It must be their religion
or something.

Fasting's going on night and day.

And when they do eat,
I can't eat it.

Being an Arab ain't much fun.

Seeing you tonight
was the big convincing.

Maybe, you've been missing
more than you know.

I was beginning to forget just
what it was like back home.

You know how I can
best remind you?


♪ Bugs do bug ♪

♪ Breeze do breeze ♪

♪ And flies do flee ♪

♪ Dew does dew ♪

♪ And bee does bee ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you ♪

♪ Yeah, you got me ♪

♪ Buds will bud ♪

♪ Shoes will shine ♪

♪ Pants will cuff ♪

♪ Things will thing ♪

♪ And stuff will stuff ♪

♪ When the kiss you kiss ♪

♪ Ain't enough ♪

♪ On account there's no account ♪

♪ Ever since you passed by ♪

♪ Honey, all my feeling
just keep mountin' ♪

♪ Ain't your mama
don't told you why ♪

♪ 'Cause bud do bud ♪

♪ Breeze do breeze ♪

♪ And dew does dew ♪

♪ Whoa wo wo ♪

♪ And blues won't blue ♪

♪ When the gal you gal ♪

♪ And the man you man ♪

♪ And the love you love ♪

♪ Loves you too ♪♪

♪ Those were the thoughts ♪

♪ That confused us in the sun ♪

♪ I heard of a land
where miracles are spun ♪

♪ I never believed
the the things they told ♪

♪ Of Arabian night ♪

♪ Till one wonderful night ♪

♪ The moon looked down on Cairo ♪

♪ The moon of the night ♪

♪ That showed me your smile ♪

♪ The sphinx looked down
on Cairo ♪

♪ And knew at a glance ♪

♪ That this was romance ♪

♪ I kissed you there in Cairo ♪

♪ The smell of leaves ♪

♪ Must be true ♪

♪ But as we kissed ♪

♪ The old pyramid knew ♪

♪ I was forever in love ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ And as we kissed ♪

♪ The old pyramid knew ♪

♪ I was forever in love ♪

♪ With you ♪♪

You must be very fond
of those mice.

You carry them
with you everywhere?


I've been meaning to come back
to that shop of yours.

It's a very interesting place.

Are those, uh, butterflies
still for sale?

They've been sold.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well, I may come back
tomorrow anyway

and bring some of my friends.

My humble shop will be honored.

- What kept you so long?
- One of my white mice.

White mice. If you were
efficient you'd teach them

to sing in high C and save
the expense of a tuning fork.

Yes, I'm a great lover of animals.
But we have very little time.

Can we continue this conversation
on the way to the pyramid?

I had a very interesting talk
with your young newspaper man.

Him? I thought he was gonna be
taken care of tonight.

- He will be, when our job's done.
- I don't like him snooping around.

He isn't snooping, and I'm not
interested in your dislikes.

He is snooping.

He intends to visit my shop
tomorrow with some friends.

We take care of the young man
and the young lady.

The little they know is too much,
but in the meantime...

- Let's get out of the pyramid.
- Exactly.

What now?

Is another one of your mice
loose, running along behind?


Everything is just
what I want it to be.

Cleo? Cleo?

Have you heard anything
from Mr. Smith?

- No, isn't he with you?
- No.

I've looked everywhere for him,
he just disappeared.

Well, you suppose
something's happened?

Of course, he's not
come back, that's all.

- Your bag, Miss Warren.
- My bag?

- Yes, you're still holding it.
- Oh, yeah, yes.

I'm always left holding the bag.

I should have known
it was too good to be true.

Cleo, I've broken it to bits.

For goodness sake.


This looks like a map,
with triangles on it.

Isn't that odd?

There's something else.

If Mr. Smith is Mr. Cobson

that sure is a awful
picture of Mr. Smith.

This isn't Mr. Smith.
Isn't anything like him.

Homer isn't Cobson,
Homer is Homer.

And if Homer is Homer,
he's in trouble.

Get Colonel Woodhue on the phone.

Oh, never mind, I'll get it,
I'll get it. Maybe, it's Homer.

Hello, Homer?

Uh? Oh!

Oh, Colonel Woodhue.

Oh, oh, Colonel Woodhue,
I was just going to call you.

Yes, I wanna see you, right away.

Bravo, Ahmed.

You promised us a plane
and behold, a plane.

Get the canvas off,
start the motors

and then come down to the car.

Amazing what you archaeologists
can do. Some packing cases

full of supplies
and perfectly camouflaged

among those old ruins.

Oh, it wasn't very difficult
to assemble a plane.

Give the necessary parts
and enough help.

As one who can't even drive
a nail into a wall

my respect for you
increases every minute.

Doesn't yours, my dear?

I respect only results.
Is the plane ready to take off?

Fully loaded and ready.

It will not land until it hits
the side of the troop transport.

An obsolete bombing plane
in exchange

for 5000 American troops.
What a bargain!

If none of this hocus pocus
goes wrong.

None of it will go wrong.


The tuning fork is cold.

Rub it in your hands.

The note must be exactly on pitch.

As long as I live, high C
will remain in my memory.

I bet there's another high C
Ahmed will never forget.

Nor will I ever forget
the woman who sang it.

And the idiot who stood
at the butterfly panel.

Everything in it's time, Ahmed.

Let's attend to
the business in hand.

- Good luck.
- Heil Hitler.

- Heil Hitler.
- Heil Hitler.

I hope you have enjoyed
your trip.

Don't move.
Stay where you are.

Still getting your story,
Mr. Smith?

I'd like you to meet
some other members

of the British Intelligence.

I've been a dope long enough.

Anybody with half a brain
could have seen you were a Nazi.

How fortunate for us that
you have such a limited supply.

It would be better to attend
to him inside the tomb.

We have no time to waste in
disposing of a body out here.

You'll come with us, please.


- I want to talk you, over here.
- Oh.

Wait a minute.

I don't like leaving,
Mr. Smith alone.

He's a very inquisitive
young man.

He knows better than to run away.

Oh, I don't know.

By his own admission,
he's not very bright.

What could he possibly do?

Make a dash for the plane?


Can you think of a more
ingenious way of killing a man

than in a radio controlled plane?

Now, we will overtake him.

There's no doubt about it.

This is a map indicating the pyramid
we've been hunting for months.

The car with Mr. Smith on it
was headed that way, sir.

- What are we waiting for?
- Come along.

Have you the plane under control?

Not yet.


This is incredible.

There's no apparent way
into the pyramid.

There must be. They're in there
and they've got Homer with them.

How did they get in?
Obviously, through this side

there are car tracks and
footprints that lead right here.

Couldn't you blow a hole into it?

Yes, as soon as I get some dynamite.

- But that won't be tonight.
- This is odd.

- The men found a $100 bill.
- $100 bill? It must be Homer's.

- He had some in his money belt.
- He must have lost it.

Miss Warren?
Miss Warren?

If it isn't about the pyramid
don't bother me.

It ain't exactly that but it
makes an Arab's life attractive.

- What does?
- These grow on the desert.

I just found out I've been
livin' in a wrong neighborhood.

Yes, me and Hector decided
we'll stay and dig for money.

Well, I hope you'll be
very happy.

C notes? C notes?

The one we've found
has your name on. See here.


He must have dropped
that as a message to you.

I thought you said he lost them.
So, he's not smart, huh?

- He's just a small town hick.
- I didn't say that.

No, I know, you didn't, I did.

Stand back everybody,
I'm gonna sing a C.

Oh, really Miss Warren,
I don't think...

Well, I'll try it an octave higher.

You see?

Well, th-there is still high C.

That's apparently that.
Sorry, Miss Warren.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't
have admit this

but I was a little flat
that time.


Oh, no.
Walls of Jericho.

Uh, it has reached
the magnetic field.

- The transport?
- Yes.

Now, we'll straighten him out.

Now, he'll fly like
an arrow to his death.

Where is Homer?

Oh, Homer? Is this
something you've lost?

Oh, let me at her, will you?

Yes, let her at me.

I've picked up a Jerry
light bomber, send the alert.

He's just below us, lads.
Let's get at him.

I'm awfully glad we gave this
party for the boys, aren't you?

They're such fun.


Well, you might be a little
more enthusiastic about it.

After all, you did risk your
life to see it.

I'm enthusiastic.

Oh, co-starring.

That's what it says.

I don't know what to do
in front of a camera.

Oh, darling, you'll be surprised
how quickly you'll find out.

Now, suppose we're in
a shot together.

It's a close shot,
of just the two of us.

- There's the camera, there.
- Yeah.

Now, what would you do, if, uh...

...if I were to back up
like this?

Well, I'd turn around
to look at you.

Well, you wouldn't be a
co-star very long, darling.

- No?
- No.

You've got back of your head
to the camera, see?


- Well, suppose I did this.
- Move out of my close up.

No, darling. We'll always
play our close shots


- What about when we kiss?
- No difficulty at all.

Of course, in the picture,
I'll have my face nearer

the camera because I'm
your wife and I love you.

Well, get your hand down,
you're spoiling my close up.

♪ Keep the light
in the bay, burning bright ♪

♪ Like a far reaching star
in the harbor ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Till the world
of marching men ♪

♪ All come sailing home again ♪

♪ Keep a light burning
bright till then ♪