Cadavere per signora (1964) - full transcript
Laura is the victim of a blackmail, asks for help to her childhood friends Renata, Marina and Giovanna in the meantime become a nun to collect the amount requested.
Oh!
Ah...
Be quiet!
- And now put all your fingers together! - Why?
The blood pact is done like this!
We swear to assist in case of need with all ..
.. our strengths, our means and possessions and if necessary, ..
.. with the sacrifice of life. - Oh, exaggerated!
- You all say: I swear! I swear!
Lauretta, what do you think?
I've been after it for a week.
If you bought the album "Sapore di sale", you would save.
Why does it look like us? You see it? It is a difficult job!
Feel this that came to me tonight!
- In short, Enzo! - One word is enough, little sister!
- What is it? Come on, what is it? - Oh, listen Enzo ..
Mysterious phone call, I understand. You know I'm a grave.
- You want me to ... - Get out!
I disappear! Like Mandrake!
But Enzo!
Sorry, honey, but ... gasoline. Eh ... Hello!
Ready? Doctor Emiliani, please.
Can't you call her? Oh ... Look, this is urgent!
Alright then! Stop! It's a family thing, tell her.
Yes, I'm waiting.
Ready? Ah, Laura!
Um ... No, no, I was doing ... How?
Ah, was this "the family affair"?
Of your family.
Claudio? No, I don't remember.
No, I've never met him, you know.
No! It's incredible!
Look, he can come. Okay in an hour? Where do you want.
Yes, it's a hole here near the clinic.
The others?
Oh yeah, Marina and Giovanna!
Well, Giovanna I think that's not the case.
Laura ... Laura!
S�... S�, s�! S�!
No, no, no, no! No! La ... Laura, take it easy!
- Um ... Hi! - Who was Laura?
- How do you know? - You said that.
Ah! But it's a secret anyway, I can't tell you anything.
- Ah, if so! - Listen, if your childhood friend ..
.. was in trouble and told you not to tell anyone, ..
.. would you tell me? - Why is Laura in trouble?
- Who told you that? - You, now!
No! Let's not start with the tricks, eh! To make me..
.. talk, because I don't tell you so much. It's a secret!
- Well, I'm going. Bye! - Do you see Laura?
No I say, I did not say that, eh!
No, but since you didn't have to go out before the call ...
But what does the phone call have to do with it? And then, sorry, you are a lawyer, ..
.. but you're not in court and I don't have to tell you ..
.. that I have an appointment with my childhood friend ..
.. who is in trouble.
It would be ridiculous for me to tell you.
- Hello! - Hello!
.. by the Marchesa Silvestri.
- And so do eight. -
- Good morning! - Good morning.
- I'm Giovanna's mother ... - You're welcome! - Be comfortable.
Thanks!
Well, Giovanna couldn't come.
Excuse me, I was a fool.
No, on the contrary, he did very well! I came in his place.
- Isn't that the same? - Well, actually ... well ... no.
But how not? Yes! You should give us the other four.
- Four what? - Millions. Ah, but we don't need them. No.
You need them, poor thing, because she's in trouble!
- Marina! - Ah, but he returns them to him, you know!
Yes, yes, I know. Ferrante, the owner ...
-
Look, I didn't look for Giovanna for this.
Ah ... she certainly couldn't have given them to him.
maybe yes.
- Seen? -
When do you need them?
Immediately. We need twenty thousand dollars by tonight.
The three of us managed to put together eight million.
And we have to reach twelve, because of the ...
Mhmm ...
Uff ...
Better to go otherwise the banks close.
Gi�!
So do you mind, Renata? Are you going to take them?
- Of course! If you can't? - No, no ... it's not that I can't, ..
.. but today, imagine, I had forgotten ..
.. which is my wedding anniversary.
He wants to go to the theater and then I have no intention of seeing him again.
- How much is it? - Three hundred and ten.
By the way, is Giovanna always at the convent of Santa Teresa?
- Yes. - Be pure.
- Thanks! - But no, sorry. Be patient. Excuse me, you know, but you have them ...
- One hundred, two hundred, three hundred and fifty ... take it! - Thanks!
- And ... Look, sorry ... - Yes ...
The four million I give it to him willingly, but I would like to know ..
.. what do you need at least. - What, you didn't understand?
It's blackmail!
But who invented this tie?
Is it mandatory to go to dinner with the bow tie, the butterfly?
Eh, I believe it! The others will all be in tuxedos!
But what, a dinner at the royal palace there?
Then what do we have to do with those there?
They never once came to buy meat from us. Never!
But I told you, the lady, the wife, talked about the lunch ..
.. right in front of me and she felt compelled to invite us.
Oh, you rather, eh, please! At the table...
Yeah! I'm not able to behave at the table.
But no! On the contrary. But, listen to me, shut up!
Do not talk! Look, observe, listen to others and above all ..
.. don't get noticed!
And the secret formula at what time do I steal it? Because it seems to me ...
.. to have become an atomic spy, here, now!
Listen, Costanza, I've got an idea.
You know that modestly I have my diplomacy, right?
If while we are at the table, at a certain moment ..
.. I say to the owner, "Look, I'm making you a proposal.
Payment six months, discount ten percent.
I give him fresh meat for all ships ".
Ah no, eh, Tommaso! Never talk about meat!
- Neither at the table, nor elsewhere! Understood? - That is fine! That is fine!
We will talk about Naples against everyone. The new Canzonissima.
Damn this damn tie! To who...
Thanks, no.
No thanks.
Eh ... sorry! Excuse me!
Lady, tell me the truth, they sold this one to you ..
.. for veal rump! Huh? - Thing?
No, how much does that pay?
Two thousand eight hundred lire per kilo?
Ah, I really don't know. I don't do the shopping.
- Isn't it good? -
No, no, it's great for that. Only..
.. it's not rump of veal! Eh!
Madam, this is beef! And as we say in the jargon ..
.. of the butcher's shop: culaccio! - Thomas!
She also acts like my wife. Laura never allows me ..
.. to talk about my poor ships.
- Were they really ships ... - Why, what am I madam?
Carts! Ugly and dreadful carts! Large and squat, ..
.. but I assure you that one hundred and fifty of those, ..
.. today they make more than four ocean liners!
Eh! Women, dear Commander! They never have the practical sense ..
.. of life. They only see the exterior. I, for example, ..
.. I have a cousin, a cousin on my aunt's side, ..
.. who manufactures coffins! - Thomas!
Alright then! Make wicker chairs. Forget it.
And you lawyer, ..
According to my wife, I should only defend honest people.
-
.. murderers, thieves, scammers, blackmailers!
It would be like a butcher who only wanted to treat fillet ..
.. and not kidneys, liver, tripe ...
- Thomas! - Eh!
And offal.
Ernesto, the telephone!
- No, ma'am. It's the door. - Are you waiting for a phone call?
Nerd...
I greet everyone and I apologize! Be patient.
- Hi little sister! - Hello!
I'm sorry, but when the car leaves you ...
We take a taxi.
- A taxi to ... - Why were you out of town?
No ... I didn't leave Genoa! But a taxi in Genoa?
And when do you find it? I do in a moment, I change immediately.
- Don't you go to the theater anymore? No? - S that we go, ..
.. only the shopkeepers arrive ...
Eh ... it is not chic to get to the first act.
Eh, eh! The lady is right. It is so much more chic to arrive ..
.. to the second and not understand anything of what happens in the first.
- Ah, ah, ah ... - Not to mention that we will arrive ..
.. at the end of the third. - Are we getting to the end of the third?
- But yes, as long as there is health! - Phone.
Ernesto, I answer. Excuse me! One moment!
Excuse me too. It must be Renata, or maybe not, ..
.. but so much the same thing, just answer.
- I say, but what have they got? - Nothing! Nothing!
Eh ... tell us about your ships.
But how? He can speak of his ships, I of the flesh not?
But how? Coming to Portofino? And why?
Ninth! I can't explain to you over the phone.
Yes, I know there are men, but find an excuse!
It is a horrendous thing!
Yes, I don't move, eh! Come now! Now, please!
Renata! Renata!
Oh ... He hung up.
- But how come? - I do not know! You have to go to Portofino!
- Ah, Enzo! Enzo! - Yes? - Come here.
- Please, Enzo ... a great pleasure. - Um?
- We have to be alone! - Oh, but you called me!
But no! Sun without them! Take them away! Where do you want!
- Ahh ... - Please, that's very important!
- Tragic! - Ehh!
Listen, Enzo, invent something ... See you ...
I see I see. What do I see? Here there is little to invent! Uhm!
And okay! One has a headache, ..
- Um ... - .. the other sacrifices herself ..
- .. and you don't go to the opera. - So they don't go either!
--No! --E gia!
They will go there even without you.
I'll handle that!
MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND
Farewell, Maurizio!
- Bollinger for everyone, Carlo. - Yes, sir!
Well?
No, but I mean, but where did you take us?
- Trust me. Soon it comes alive. - Let's hope!
However, it is always better here than in the theater.
Oh, now that my Constance isn't here, ..
.. I can say that this brunette is a very nice heifer.
Calm down, Mr. Borsotti!
Wait! Those are entraineuses. Sailors stuff.
Sailors here treat themselves better than admirals in such matters.
And who is it?
- Oh ! They mated that one. - But no! It's the "show"!
- Who is that? - The show, the number!
Ah! Ah, ah...
No, Renata had an appointment at eight ...
.. in Laura's villa. - With a man?
- A scoundrel. - And he had to call us as soon as he received them ..
.. the letters. - But what letters?
Mine! The ones I was stupid enough to write to him.
- But before getting married? - No, even after.
Eh! I thought he was a gentleman.
Instead he demanded twelve million to return them to him.
- I would have left them. - Yes, and when he received them ...
.. your husband, what did you tell him? - "Honey, I made you ..
.. save twelve million. "- Ah! Witty!
Excuse me, you know, not because I am the mother of a nun, ..
.. but when a woman is married ... - Yes, yes, I know, ..
.. but from now on I cut my hand rather than do it again.
Good! Call what suits you.
Renata!
Renata!
Come in.
What happened? Did you bring the letters?
Yes, that's not it. It's that Claudio ...
Come on, talk!
< Ahh!
Ahh!
Thing? I can not hear! Ah, yes, yes, all right! Thanks!
Borsotti is having fun, huh?
Sit here for a moment!
- Good evening! - Good evening!
What did he say to you?
There was not! Your kind spouses have taken off .. eh!
- Like? - The devil protects you.
They came out ten minutes after us.
- Did they go to the theater? - No, no, no, don't worry!
- They went to Cannes. - In Cannes?
Renata phoned from Cannes. A car accident.
Poor!
Born with a shirt, huh? The night is yours, beautiful husbands.
Enjoy yourselves!
But really it's not that one has a lot of fun here, eh!
Tomorrow there is another ballet: a cannon shot!
Then meet the girls, huh! That is fine? Are you happy?
- Thank god! Let's hope! - Eh, eh ...
- Come Dance? - Of course!
- Michele. Michele! - Huh?
Do you know any jokes?
- A little push? - Eh, maybe! I say...
- No. - Eh! Me neither!
He was already drunk and made a lot of fuss because ...
.. did not want to deliver the letters to a stranger, ..
.. but only to Laura. But then, when he saw the money, ..
.. he changed his mind and then he took out the letters ..
.. out of his pocket and put them on the table. Where have you seen them!
Then he asked me for a drink but served himself.
He knew where the bar was.
Yes, he knew ...
Did you see each other here, huh?
But did you drink with him?
The? No! Ninth! I drank later. Later, when I saw ...
Then?
- And then he started drinking, drinking and at some point ..
.. stared at me. Eh ... I had the impression that he undressed me ..
.. with the eyes. And when he ventured a caress ..
.. with those wet hands of his ... How disgusting!
- Well, now don't overdo it! - Obviously we don't have ..
.. the same tastes. And so I was afraid and ran away!
-
.. in the room. I was hoping he would go away and instead I started ..
.. to hear voices and then when the quarrel began, ..
.. a great noise, as if they were hitting each other. Suddenly..
.. a scream ... and then silence. And so I ... I went down ..
.. to see ... and ... and of I ...
It must have been awful!
Here, you see? He was impressed with this.
It is still stained with blood.
You had to leave her next to the body, the police would have ...
- Did you call the police, by the way? - No.
I thought about it right away, it's natural!
But I preferred to wait for you.
You did very well. The police must absolutely not ..
.. get into this business. We should explain why ...
.. Renata was here, the letters, the blackmail.
- Money? - They were there on the table but they disappeared.
- Won't you have them in your pocket? - Let's dig it!
No. I've already done it. It doesn't have them.
Look, I'm a modest woman, a shopkeeper.
Here is a corpse. We must call the police!
No! Anything, but the police aren't!
Look, what if we make it disappear? We wrap it in the carpet, ..
.. we take it to the garden and then dig a pit.
Marina this is not the time!
Alright then! Find it yourself a clever idea.
Look, a corpse can't disappear, but ... we can.
Just leave and it's done! Did anyone see her come in?
- No! I do not think so. - Not even us, fortunately!
So let's go! Enough, leave no trace.
- The shot glasses ... - I'm going to wash them.
Soon! Quick! Let's not forget anything.
The handbags, the gloves, everything there! Soon! Soon!
He will wash only one.
Watch!
-
There! That's who it was! It was the thief.
A thief who had the keys? Is very strange. No, be careful!
- The footprints! - There is still something.
That's all, I don't think there was more. Augusto has a mania ..
.. to keep sums handy, but small.
But he could still take them, couldn't he?
Yes, with the dollars ... Eh, he didn't give a damn!
And what we do? Shall we close it?
Yes, yes! It's better! And let's also put the picture above.
How strange! Only Augusto has it!
No, it is not possible!
No, but I mean, do you want to hurry?
Ah yes ... Let's go! Let's go!
Ah!
Is anyone there? Come outside!
Beware that I shoot!
I'm counting to three. Are you ready? One two...
Chi ?
Ah, you are Signora Ferrante!
Eh ... eh ... what do you want?
I thought there was no one, but seeing the light on, I ..
.. ready immediately ... - Thank you, but here everything is fine.
- That can also put it away. - Ah ... Don't worry.
- Meanwhile, this is not ... Ah!
Damn Giacomino! I'm so sorry, but I never put ..
.. the shot in the barrel! I don't want sorrows, but do you know how?
Jack reads the mystery books and then ... zacchete ...
- Excuse me so much! - But please. But how did you get in here?
- Ah, from the service door. - Ah!
Just a push. you should get it fixed, ma'am.
That's what I'm saying too!
Eh ... but excuse me if ... if I did ... I scared you, ..
.. but I had to do my duty. Excuse me so much, huh!
And then tonight, around eight, as I started my tour ..
.. I saw a man enter. A man in a light raincoat.
It seemed to me that he came here. I wasn't sure ...
- Ah, but he's gone! - Ah ... did he come here?
Yes, but they had given him the wrong address.
- Yeah! - I see! It's a bad night tonight.
- I think it's raining tonight! - Yes.
And then in the morning, when I go home, all my clothes are soaked.
Look, but you're going to have to take a long ride, I guess.
- No? - And already!
Yes, but no, there is no rush. I can stay here!
No, don't bother! - Ninth! One moment!
Madam, I would like to ask you something. A very important thing.
- Say! - I do not know if I can...
- About ... about the man? - Which man?
That ... that of the raincoat!
Ah! No, no ... One more thing.
I don't know if I can take my freedom.
- And say! Say! - Thing?
Here, you see, first with that ... ta-ta-pum I tried ..
.. a scare ... Could I have a finger of wine?
Oh...
- A damigiana! - Thank you!
- Of course! Yes, Marina! - I'll come to the kitchen too!
- Oh, no! Don't be uncomfortable! - One moment!
I know the way. One moment.
Let's see, the wine ... the wine ...
Don't worry, lady. Leave it to me! I know.
It is here!
- There isn't. - Ah, perhaps in the frigidaire.
Frigidaire ... mineral water!
I'm sorry. I am truly mortified.
- Eh! ... - Patience! It will be for another time.
Another time ... -
Eh, champagne ?! French countryside ... "Bollinger" ...
Eh, but this will cost two or three thousand lire!
- More! - Eh, almost as much as a hundred liters of wine! It's too much!
Yes and the cigars too!
- But no, forget it. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! And the cigarettes!
- A whole slat. - YES, Muratti.
Ambassador! Ol�!
- Thanks! Until we meet again! - Thanks!
- Thanks, huh! - The box, huh!
- Good evening! - Good evening!
Good evening, lady! And please, get it fixed ..
.. the door. We will be more relaxed, both you and me.
- Definitely! - Good evening!
- Oh ... He's gone! - So?
And then we can go too!
- Oh, what a fool! - Lady!
And no, excuse me, you know, I really ran away ... eh!
When the police discover the body, that guardian ..
.. I will tell you that he found us here.
Don't forget we gave him champagne and cigars.
Eh, so to say that we wanted to corrupt him!
The best thing to do is call the police!
And so we make scandal break out! As you wish.
I have no right to ... meddle with you!
It will suffer the consequences! My husband will ask for separation ...
- Calm down, Laura! - The time of the boarding school is far away ..
.. and blood pacts! - But no, that's what we're here for!
Come instead and try to think about my idea.
- Oh ... Crazy! Absurd! - Besides, you're a lawyer's wife!
And you should know that it is a very serious crime!
- I know and it's called "corpse concealment". - We go to jail!
Be careful not to slip!
I have stiletto heels. I had to change my shoes!
We must take advantage of the darkness.
How much does it weight! Couldn't we have called someone to help us?
- Yeah! We haven't thought about it! - Floor! Floor!
Will you be okay here?
- Ah, imagine! Between the corn, the salad ... - Slowly ..
.. parsley, rosemary ...
But how do we dig?
One moment, I'm going to find something. Wait for me.
Damn! All the fault of those letters.
But is the husband so jealous?
Um ... A fair thing. Sure, less than Ludovico!
- Ludovico? And who is it? - It's the lover!
- But wasn't that it? - But no! With him it is finished!
- Now it's Ludovico. - You are not up to date!
- Ludovico was up to three months ago. - What are you saying?
But yes! Now it is Giorgio, the one who had come after Claudio.
- Claudio is him. - But Giorgio hadn't left him ..
.. for the Australian, the one who played tennis?
But it was a flashback. In short, the dynasty is this: ..
.. Claudio, Giorgio, the Australian, Ludovico ..
.. and Giorgio again.
It is very successful with men.
No, it's the men who are very successful with her.
Sit!
- It's a dog. - Ninth!
- A ... have you heard now? - Yes. - Yes.
Ah!
- Laura ... - Laura!
Laura!
Laura!
What happened?
But wasn't it you who screamed?
Yes, but it was nothing. Come on! I found!
- There! Hold on! - Didn't you find anything better?
No!
Let's go!
Ahh!
- But who was he? The killer? - But no!
- How do you know? - Well, he wouldn't have stayed here!
Of course he was not a passing gentleman.
I died of fear, huh!
- What a night! - Ohioioi ...
If Tommaso saw me!
Urca! Oh, if my Constance could see me!
Ah, ah, ah...
Come on, stop! You promised me a thousand times.
- And tomorrow I'll buy them ... You'll see! - Will you buy them for me?
- And who did you rob? - What are you crazy about?
But ... but I joked!
- And I'd like to see. -
- Oh, what's going on there? -
Nothing, lawyer, it's the show! It's all included in the price!
Let's go, guys! Augusto up, up, up, up!
Which ends badly here! Come on, let's go! Come on!
- What a wave she gave him! - It's interesting!
Give another one! Pa-ta-pan!
Ah, ah, how nice!
Is this also included in the price?
Poor fellow!
- Ah, what this man... - Uh�, un momento! Eh!
Lawyer, you who are a lawyer make yourself heard.
And of course, I speak English.
- Oh! - Speak English?
- Of course. - Good! Speak English.
And now, sir, my friend and I with this error... because I am..
.. how do you say lawyer in american?
- Ehm! Perry Mason! - Zitto!
- Listen ... and Michele? - Okay. Let's leave them alone!
Shall we go to another place?
Yes, yes. Look, I have an idea. How many can you bring ..
.. in your car? - Women even three.
Very good! I have a villa in Portofino ..
.. where nobody ever goes. - You're crazy?
- Why? - At this time?
- But there is champagne! - Eh ...
We bathe naked.
But les Petites go to bed early!
- But shut up, Greta Garbo! - Come on, Mr. Gedeon.
- It would be better in the morning, during the day. - Here, huh?
But what tomorrow! How am I going to do it with Laura?
Why are you doing tonight? Not ... that is to say ...
.. but sorry, why don't we go to his house?
Very good! Let's go to the miss ..
- Eh ... - .. let's take the discs and go to Portofino. No?
Come on, girls, let's go!
If I don't get pneumonia now I don't get it anymore.
Go ahead, dig! This is not even enough to bury ..
.. one of the seven dwarfs. - And we've been digging for three hours.
Eh, but if you keep talking ...
- So look now it's the dawn. - Better! So we see each other more.
Yes, but the others see us more too!
He's right. Four women digging a grave ..
.. it is not a normal thing!
But what would you like? Come back next night? Oh!
How you do it? She is free, but we ...
- We have husbands. - And lovers.
- Look, if you tell me ... - But sir, it seems to you ...
.. this is the time to argue? - And stop it! Until it gets dark ..
.. let's dig! Damn, I broke my nail!
The umbrella!
And who is it?
- Oh my God, there is someone! - But who will it be at this hour?
It looks like a caller's house! Oh, I'm not saying that for you! Excuse me!
It will be good to go and see!
Farms! Stop it!
Did they play them?
Modestly! Did you like it? If you want, we can continue.
You know, my friend is sentimentally, he likes it ..
.. the music. - But what are you doing here?
What I think! It's my home! Rather, how did they get in?
- The house was closed! - Have you heard?
- The lady says this is a closed house. - Shut up!
What do they want?
- We? - Eh!
- What do you want instead? - Who are you?
- We're looking for a person. - Ah ... who?
If we knew there were three of you, we would bring a friend of ours.
- Luigi .. - Eh?
.. I like the hostess very much!
Assassin!
- No! It wasn't me! - Babe!
- Shut up! Education! Ah .. ah ..
Beautiful environments, beautiful women, comfortable to be ..
.. a closed house. Excuse me madam, tell me: where is the cashier?
- What box are you talking about? - Dlin, dlin, dlin!
- Oh! Oh! - And what, what, what!
And you want to shut up! In short, here, no to chatter, ..
.. where is it? - Who? - Who?
We are looking for a man of about thirty, thirty-five, tall ..
.. with a clear raincoat ... - Ah, no. We don't know him.
There he is! And he!
-
But ... but, excuse me, because you are looking for this gentleman ..
.. right in my house? - Because the guard ...
.. he told us he saw him enter this house.
Ah, that's right! How stupid! I forgot.
Perhaps it is that gentleman who came here to call.
- It is true! It is true! - Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Yes, but he didn't have the token and he went himself.
Yes! - And he left his raincoat here!
But no! And its. Cover up.
Cover up!
- He could be disguised! Undress! -
.. if we should see his friend, I don't know ..
.. we have to tell him something? - Tell you that he is a very great ...
.. we turn to the police. - No. Wait! Wait!
- But what's the police got to do with it? - Tell ... tell us!
Alright then! We had to take him to France.
- In France? - Yes, in Menton, with our motor boat.
- We waited for you until ten. - But to whom? To me?
Eh, yes! We had to go you, me, him and Caterina.
- Who is this Catherine? - The boat. And you...
Do we want to undress her?
As I told you, we bought oil, ..
.. lost our time, but ... but we ..
.. we work to live! - That's why we live badly!
But ... maybe, maybe you want some money?
I don't accept money from a woman. Give them to him!
- Well, that's eighty thousand. But only the expenses, huh! - Ah ...
But why didn't you say it right away?
Of course! Wait. Wait a moment!
- Come with me! Soon! -
One moment! We come right away, huh! One moment!
I have thirty in my bag.
Ninth. We take them in the safe.
Help me!
Oh my God, the key. Where did I put it?
You had it in your hand before.
Ah gi�!
Now I understand the dollars ... to go abroad.
- Clandestinely. - Of course, with a bankruptcy on his shoulders!
- How do you know? - Well, that's it! It was written in the papers.
Excuse me, ma'am. My friend didn't understand anything.
You would entrust us with a small package to bring ..
.. on the high seas and throw it. Is that so? - Precisely.
- It's simple, isn't it? - Eh! Simple!
Luigino, can we please the lady this favor?
Wait up. What's in the package?
- Aaah Luigino! Don't be curious! - No, I am.
- What is it? - Um! Tell him, lady. Make him happy!
Well, if you really want to know ... there is a man!
- There is a man. You're happy? - Eh!
- And madam, hurry up! But what I recommend ... - Yes.
.. tied well! - Of course! - One moment!
- There is a man. - I get it! There is a man.
- Eh ... a man? - Eh!
- Yes, a man. - Ah ... Madam ..
.. and do you consider me capable of such actions? - Eh!
But if I had the courage to throw a man overboard, ..
.. wouldn't I have thrown him out already? Eh!
Eh, Gianni, come on, this woman is crazy!
- You're not a witty person anyway. - And why?
Why? Why didn't you understand that I was joking!
- Well, I don't like these jokes! - Nor me!
And I don't even believe the man who was wrapped up.
- Let's go! Good evening! - Good evening!
The package...
< Ah, ah, ah!
There! There are eighty thousand.
- Thanks! - We accept the money, but the package is not!
Which package?
- It was a game! - Let's go! I do not want to..
.. no longer stay in this house. - But ...
You're right! We don't want to deal with certain people!
Let's go!
But are you sure it's really not him? Huh? We want it ..
.. give a stripper? - Walk!
Wait! I'll take you there.
We know the way.
We were born in the middle of the street.
- Eh! - Good evening! - Good night!
- By now it is dawn! - But what's wrong with him?
What do I know? They got the money.
- You must have treated them badly. - I was very kind!
Then what do I have to do with it?
Hey! What are you mad at?
But you always have it with me!
Sorry, come on! Come on! We are all nervous.
And wet ... The best thing would be to change.
Did you forget the one in the carpet?
Do you remember that it is dawn and you can no longer do anything?
But we can't even show it to everyone, can we?
Yes, you are right. Come on, let's hurry up.
Aaaah!
Uff! I'm so sleepy!
Go to the kitchen and see if there's any coffee, but I don't think so.
But you couldn't call a bar and have us take you ..
.. some sandwiches and croissants? - Didn't enough people come?
But I'm hungry! I don't know what it is, but the emotion makes me sleepy and hungry.
- You keep them. - Alright then.
Well, what is it? Am I that ridiculous?
Ninth. It looks great! I was only laughing because ... I was thinking ...
.. to his daughter Giovanna!
You saw Mrs. Costanza how she combined.
But don't laugh, eh, because he is offended!
- But you laughed. - And of course!
- Unconscious! - But I ran away.
- I thought about the nun daughter. - Think rather than under ..
.. there is a dead man! - By the way, do you have any perfume?
Ah, even the perfume now, ah! What does he want?
Arpege, Diorissimo or Cabochard?
It is not for me, but for the dead. Because, usually, ..
.. after a while they stink. - If you spoke half, ..
.. you would always talk twice as much as necessary.
All right, from now on, shut up. You will ask questions ..
.. but Marina will be silent and dumb!
-
- < Marina! - Laura! Renata!
- But why is he calling? - But what...
- What happened? - Who knows!
- Keep calling. -
.. says he found something very interesting.
Watch!
Oh! And we who have worked so hard!
Yes, but this is small.
Well ... maybe folded it should fit, huh?
And the corpse rigidity?
Until tonight it's only partial.
- If anything, it breaks. - Marina, he's dead!
- But if it doesn't fold ... - What about this? Where do we put it?
- Well ... upstairs! - No, a cypress is better here.
Or a plaque with the words "lover of precluded virtues".
On! Soon! Let's go!
- Excuse me, Villa Laura? - Yes, Villa Laura is this.
But the main entrance is from the bottom.
This is the service entrance.
- Thanks. - You are welcome.
- Oh! Damn! - And now?
But it is possible that one cannot work in peace.
Be calm! Be calm! I'm going!
- Don't move, eh! - No.
Hate! Get here!
What about the other package, lawyer?
- It's in the trunk. - Be careful not to let the blood drip.
Chi ?
- We are! - Open up, Constance! There is also the lawyer.
- You can't! -
We are naked!
- We're naked. - What are you saying?
Ninth. Not me. My ... my wife Costanza ... Costanza!
It's open.
- Who is it? Huh? - There are our husbands.
- Thing? - Thing?
But ... how did they know that we ...
- Unfortunate! You called him! True? - No.
- Good! - Yes, yes, but I made him swear not to come.
Here they are! Let's go up!
Here they are where they are. "We are naked", exaggerated! There you are ..
.. set a little free. No! - What are you doing?
Did you come to the villa to plant trees?
- Michele I hate you. - You weren't expecting us, huh?
But your hubbies will never abandon you!
- Renata, I like you! - Well...
- But you weren't hurt? Oh no!
What is it? Something wrong?
- No no nothing!
- No! - Ah!
I went to the butcher's and took a lamb ..
.. that is a marvel. Costanza, tell him a little ...
.. how do I, modestly, huh?
But Tommaso, it seems like the moment to ... no ...
But what does it have to do with it? Culinary is the hobby of kings!
And then I do the lamb in the Roman style, because in Rome ..
.. good man! - There! Here, I'm really happy! Yes.
Because I'm hungry, I'm sleepy and if I eat I get sleepy.
Marina, take them both to the kitchen.
- Of course! - No. No, I'm worth nothing as a cook.
No you are only worth perjury! Walk! Come, Mr. Thomas.
In the dead? No, in the garden! Eh ...
Away, quick! Street!
- Poor thing! - Soon!
- What a busy death! - Soon!
I don't have it ... Oh my God! One moment!
- Piano! - His, his, his, his!
- Come on ... - Quick!
Dear lady, look, the idea was mine. His husband..
.. he didn't want to come. - You gave me your word.
Yes, but afterwards he phoned me. He was worried ...
In thought, of course!
You will understand, madam, one arrives home and no longer finds his wife.
Were it definitive ... well, transval ... But what?
I was a fool!
He will tell you nothing more! He will never call you again even if he falls ...
.. the world, look! Hey, hey! - What happened?
Has anyone fallen? Let's check!
- No! Come here, you! Here! - Let's check..
.. if he got hurt, right? - No, it's impossible.
He can't have hurt himself!
- Who? - Who? Like who? Who fell, right? He would have screamed!
Eh! What are you doing standing here?
- Wasn't he supposed to do the lamb? - Yes! - Then do it.
Make yourself useful, light the fire!
- I'm hungry, alright! Power! There! - I make lamb!
Ouch, ouch ... I hit my knee ...
- I ankle. Oh, what a bad thing! - I the ... Come on! Quick, let's go.
No, maybe it's best to take it to the closet room.
Yep, that's true! Lovers hide in wardrobes.
- Stupid! - But are there other stairs to climb?
- No, no, no. Is that! - Okay! Okay! OK then.
Presto!
You are a liar, Michele! He will not speak to you again for a month.
But Marina, listen ...
Has it been a month, Michele? No. So what?
- Come on, let's make up! Give me a kiss ... - No.
Listen, liar, I forgive you on one pact.
Accepted!
And it is this: that whatever happens in the house, ..
.. even strange, you do not expect explanations. Do you accept?
I swear! But listen, Marina, Renata shouldn't have ..
.. go to Cannes for ... - Michele, no explanations.
- Remember the pacts! - Oh yeah, sorry! Give me a kiss?
- No! - Trover chi give it to me ...
Uhm ... Try it and then end up with that one!
- That one, who? - That one who? But like that l who?
That of the ... of the trial ... that of Alexandria ...
Memories? Did you tell me?
What he put the horns on his wife, she knew, ..
.. then he gave him the poison, he cut her throat all over ...
- Don't you remember, Michele? - Yes, yes! Yes, yes!
Do you remember?
What fools! Marina is kissing Michele, um ...
A kiss that has lasted for half an hour!
She cannot be without him even a day.
- It's ridiculous! - They weren't even lovers.
Eh, my dear, you will understand that with this here in the car, ..
.. as soon as I saw the roadblock they came to me ..
.. cold sweats! - Why? You didn't steal it.
But what does it have to do with it? Because of the duty! I got them ..
for those of the duty, instead fortunately it was only ..
.. police! - Police?
Yes, the police. They're looking for a fugitive, a murderer, I don't know.
The lawyer spoke to the commissioner ...
Uh the lady!
Look how wonderful! This one here is not rejuvenated ..
.. with the powder! Are you the doctor?
So listen, give me a hand.
While I am operating, she may be my assistant.
But the young lady is a doctor, not a butcher!
What does it mean? A man when he is split in half ...
.. it's like this. True?
Marina, stop it!
Unconscious!
The police are looking for a killer, but maybe it's him!
Meanwhile, let's think of the murdered.
With the men in the house, our hands are tied.
If we had tried this morning with those two ...
- Who? The owners of the motorboat? - Tempted what?
The lady says maybe we could propose to them ..
.. to throw it into the sea. - Eh! Maybe it wasn't a stupid idea!
No. She was stupid. I had it too, but they refused.
- Marina! - Ah, but then ...
- Did you tell him? - Of course! When we were alone.
- You are crazy! - That's what they said too.
Oh my God! If those go to tell it ...
- The police come here, investigate ... - It's the end!
But what if those two think I'm really crazy?
- We think so! - Do not joke! I'm serious.
Let me do it.
- Marina! No! I beg you! - What else are you up to now?
Whatever it does, it's wrong!
< Michele...
- Ah, ah ... how cute you are! - Careful, lady, ..
.. that we are among the corpses, eh! - Huh?
Well ... since he's so emotional, ..
.. why don't you bring me some rosemary?
-
You come!
Don't be silly.
So listen, Michele, I only forgive you ..
.. if you do me a favor. - But wasn't I forgiven already?
No not yet! You need to go to the dock and track down two sailors.
- What is it? A parlor game? Uh ...
Remember the pacts, no explanations. Clear?
- Yeah, that's true. - Then you go there, no ...
You track down the sailors and speaking of this and that, ..
.. without giving much importance to it, you have to make him understand ..
.. that here is a crazy woman. - Ah! I give this to you for sure.
Don't be absurd, Michele. This is serious.
.. makes some crazy speeches.
Here I don't know, that one of us told you she saw flying ..
.. a boat. - Let's make a train, it's more beautiful!
Here, let's make a train, a tank, a tram ...
- Just hurry up! - Marina!
- I'll help you, look. - Put your jacket on!
Tommaso you have to go with the lawyer.
But I'm sorry, but ... and ... and ... and the lamb?
The lamb, the lamb ... There are more important things!
- Well go, huh! Come. - I'm ready.
- But do I really have to go? - You have to go!
- Well, Marina asks. - What does it cost you?
Let's go! Let's go!
Seen? For me Michele does anything.
The biggest one has already done it, she married you.
< Marina!
-
- Whose? - Keep an eye on it, because ..
.. it is an old passion of hers. - Oh, you know that before you ..
.. I only loved Gary Cooper ... - And Guglielmetti?
- Guglielmetti, right? - Guglielmetti?
Eh, do you see how upset she is?
What upset? Surprise! What did he come to do ..
.. in Portofino, Guglielmetti?
They moved him here. I met him by chance, on my way.
Guglielmetti ... I would almost stay there.
- Well, there is the lamb! - Ninth. Don't be absurd.
Yes, that's true. I was engaged to Guglielmetti, ..
.. but you also know that I can no longer suffer it.
- I can trust? - Well, of course! If Marina says so ...
See you later, huh! Let's go, Tommaso!
Oh damn it, we also missed Guglielmetti!
- But who is this Guglielmetti? - A commissioner!
Police?
No, National team coach.
Aahhh!
Of course he is a Police Commissioner, no!
Fortunately, the most stupid in here is me! Uff!
When they saw me with the gun in my hand, they were ...
.. cos happy ... - Ah s ?
Kisses, hugs, cigars and champagne.
- Oh yeah? - But won't it be dangerous?
Eh well, but you don't have to worry.
That if ever the escapee appears here in Portofino, ..
.. we are all mobilized. Me and my companions ..
.. we shoot at first sight.
- Do you see well? - Well, that's ... enough.
Now we take a nice Cinzanino and we don't think ..
.. to the sailors, because they don't exist. It's just an excuse.
- What excuse? - But yes, to send us away, to keep us ..
.. away half an hour, an hour. You will see that they are preparing us ..
.. a joke. - Lawyer, I didn't understand anything!
- What other reason could there be? - I don't know.
That maybe they want to cook the lamb in their own way.
You see, I'm a logician for my profession.
Follow, but it seems to you that they are sending us to look for two sailors ..
.. and they don't tell us what kind they are, ..
.. how they are made? - Eh, but I know them. He described them to me ..
.. my lady. Eh! - Oh yeah?
One is a little taller than me and a little thinner than me ...
.. and has an anchor on the chest.
- But did you see him naked? - But no! Ah ... it's not a tattoo!
- Ah! - On the shirt. The other one is a little lower ..
.. and has a face that always seems to laugh but doesn't.
It's a satanic grimace. The real face of the killer.
- Did you see the fugitive? - Which fugitive?
Like? Don't you know? One who escaped from Marassi.
They are looking for him everywhere. The guards, the police ...
Lawyer, the roadblock.
- True! - They even sent the dogs from Genoa. It's dangerous.
- Yesterday he shot an agent. - What if it were them? The sailors!
What does it say? Meanwhile, it is one and there are not two.
And then if he is a fugitive, he will be dressed as a fugitive, a life sentence.
Ah gi�!
I made it light, just the way you liked it.
- Ah! You have a good memory. - And with little ice.
- But if you want more ... - No, no. That's fine, thanks!
- Are you sure there are no more olives? - I'm sorry.
But no, imagine, madam. I never eat them.
Marina, if as a girlfriend I had been as thoughtful as today, ..
.. I would also have married you. - Um ...
Thank God she was rude.
-
- But is it true that you are searching all the villas? - Ninth.
Only the uninhabited ones, where he may have hidden.
In the one nearby there is a broken glass.
-
- From top to bottom. - Yes.
Did they notice any lights in the villa next door?
Of course! We also missed the escapee tonight.
< Perch�?
- What else happened? - Nothing!
Marina talks nonsense. She knows it. He knows her, huh!
Sorry sir, sometimes even a little clue ..
.. can be useful. - We heard banging ..
.. a door, that's all. - Yes.
- Above or below? - Ah ...
Let's take a look? What are the ladies quiet?
No! We are not afraid. Then we'll leave soon, thank you!
Anyway, you allow, don't you madam?
You come up with me. You two in the garden.
- You are our undoing! - Aaah!
Commissioner, I'm coming too!
When will you learn to shut up? Huh?
Oh, but you are funny, huh!
To hear you it seems that it is my lover, that he has it ..
.. killed me and that you are here to help me!
Madam, surely there will be no one, but if there were, it's better.
- Well, she protects me, right? - Ah, it is my duty!
- And you think what a great excuse to hug me! - Um!
- And what's on top of it? - A closet, two empty rooms ..
.. and the terrace. Here we slept last night, so ...
- Ah! Go a little higher! - What about you, the gun?
But I can't get used to it. Mm ... I feel ridiculous ..
.. with the revolver in hand. - Ah, ah, ...
It's my room.
- Ah ... but the bed is intact. - And so it will remain.
Didn't he say you slept here tonight?
Yes, but in another room. Yes.
- This too is in order. - And this is the bathroom.
Excuse me, ma'am, but where did you spend the night?
Really already, all together.
- Were you afraid? - Well, yes. In an isolated villa, at night ...
Oh madam, please, if something has happened ...
Oh, nothing! Nothing! What should have happened?
- What is there? - Where is it?
What is it? Who shot?
Nothing, doctor. Rizzuto took a shot.
And I heard! But what happened?
Why did you shoot?
Well you know, when one sees a striped thing ...
Guys, if you start to be afraid too.
Excuse me you know ...
- What happened? - Nothing. A mistake.
Do you allow, lady?
Did you find anything?
It's Marina. Let's go!
Nothing! There is nothing!
Um ... I didn't see anything either. Nothing!
Put this revolver away.
- Excuse me, doctor. - Sorry.
No, but it's all smeared with lipstick.
Hey...
- Augustus! - Huh?
Augusto, listen ...
.. instead of stopping here, ..
.. let's go to a little place ... - Enough, eh!
Why don't we go for a swim first?
We take a bath, but in the pool. Listen Enzo, ..
.. nobody sees us here. If Laura finds out ..
.. something, he takes it out on me.
- That's what you say! - What are you afraid of? I do not know...
- it? You're welcome, it's nothing! - So...
- Girls, let's go get the elevator! - No.
Pass this way, so you see the garden, huh?
On this side, you see the garden.
Dai!
Svelte!
- Hi Marina, say hello to Michele. - Hello! Certainly!
- Madam ... respects! - Thank you very much!
- That was really nice! - Imagine! I just did ..
.. my duty, which sometimes becomes even pleasant!
Ah, if you need me, ..
.. give me a call, when you want ... - Let's hope not!
- I hope so! - Ah, ah, ah ...
Ahh! Marina!
Do you think I haven't seen you? Stuck to him like ..
.. a wallpaper? - Well then? What do you care? Excuse me.
Nothing! Only he had come for me.
If you were interested, you might as well say it! No?
To me? Forget about it! I love Michele and I am faithful!
- So? - Nothing! You could have done without!
- Mrs. Laura! - Yes!
Mrs. Laura, ..
.. there is her husband! - On the telephone?
Ninth. He is here with his brother ..
.. and some beautiful girls ... a little naked.
Any naked girls in my house?
Miserable!
She is jealous, the little girl!
And now we are all here!
Better, so nobody comes anymore!
How much do I owe?
Twentieth century!
Thanks!
Come on, let's take a nice dip!
- Excuse me, is this Villa Laura? - I do not know. Ask someone!
I gave you the explanations, but if you don't believe me ..
A trip, right?
I know how some trips turn out!
May you come to me to do this filth ..
.. under the eyes, in my house, I ... - No, ..
.. look I believed you in Cannes. I don't even have you ..
.. asked why. - Ah, but this is the height!
What would you like to insinuate? I am here alone with my friends!
There is no man with me! I have nothing to hide, me!
- Nothing! - But no, honey, I didn't mean ...
And it's also bad taste to be jealous! You deserved ..
.. another wife! One of those capable of ...
Look who's there.
-
- Laura, I ... - Do you know my husband?
- This is Augustus. - Ah, Augusto! - Pleasure!
Renata!
Ah...
I have a habit of straightening paintings.
- Enzo. - S�.
Enzo, you have to tell that guy there ...
- To Gedeon? - To keep the girls away.
That is fine! Now we repatriate them with the pass!
Come on, girls, come on. We go back home! Quick!
Let's go! Get up you!
But les petites are having fun.
- Don't put yourself in it too! - Oh!
Help!
Help!
Gideon, what are you doing with me too?
Come outside! Quick, come on!
Now you go back to Genoa so tanned!
- Ah ... - Walk! Go ahead! Come on, hurry up!
Out! Quick!
- Do you want to drink something? - Giovanna ...
Why are you there too?
And ... how is the mother superior? Good?
Why are you not sincere?
One of you is in trouble.
You, Laura?
The? No!
- I heard you looked for me. - These are not things for a nun.
A nun is not forbidden to help a friend.
But darling, that's why I'm here, right?
Yes, we have decided to release you from the oath!
There!
Augusto, I'll take them.
Ninth. Stay here, so you try to calm her down, huh!
Come on fast, girls!
On! Come on, inside!
- What about me, sir? - Inside up!
But I'm all wet!
- But he gets on top! - Why?
And don't waste our time!
You dry yourself at home!
Comfortable?
That goes with the girls and what am I doing here?
Lawyer, we'd better go here!
- I believe so. -
Look you, come here! How do you know it?
I was there too! I was passing in front of Villa Laura, ..
.. the villa of the shipowner in Genoa. - So?
- Go ahead! - At a certain point the truck arrived ..
.. of the police, with an officer on it.
I heard a shot, then the officer said ..
.. "They got him! Go! Go! Get around!" - But are you sure?
Yes, yes ... and then other revolver shots, machine guns ...
- I ran away. - And the ladies?
They are fine, thank you! Not bad! Circular! Circular!
- Excuse me, but ... how do you know? - We had..
.. the regret of meeting them tonight!
- Lawyer, it's them. - Who?
The sailors!
As women, not bad! But they have a bad habit ..
.. to make funeral packages.
What packages?
Don't bother with our packages, ..
.. make your own packages! Let's go. Luigi!
One moment, sir! Come here!
- Have a drink! - We don't get bribed.
- Waiter! - Good boy! Thanks! - Please, take a seat!
Get something!
- Thanks! - She too!
- Then? - Last night, one of those ladies offered us ..
.. some money to throw a corpse overboard. - Eh!
- Thing? - A corpse of a dead man?
- Of living corpses I know only him. - Eh!
What was this corpse like?
And what was it like? How it was? Pale, cold, very sad ...
But no ... but you ... you must not believe what he says ..
.. that lady! That is crazy! Lawyer, we can say ..
So, that lady told us she had seen it fly ..
.. an airplane!
- Ah, ah, ah ... - No.
But their gentlemen who would like to make fun of us?
Excuse me, did you see an airplane flying?
- Ah no! What am I saying? He saw a train fly. - Ah!
Ah, now we are!
Lawyer, maybe it's better than us ...
Yes, yes, it's better!
- One moment! Money. - Eh!
- There! Drink! Drink! - Pay him.
I don't like this story.
I'll tell you the story of the three little pigs.
Once upon a time the big bad wolf did uhh!
What are we kidding? I should load it in the car. And where?
In the trunk? Huh? And if they stop me, what do I say?
What am I the funeral home van?
Why didn't you do it?
Because we had lost our minds!
- We thought the simplest thing was to bury him. - Yes.
The simplest thing was only one: call the police!
- We could not! - And why? If you had a clear conscience ...
Because of the letters. In short, there is one thing underneath that Augusto ..
.. must never know! - Ah! He was your lover!
How do you know it was there?
L�..
.. dove?
On the ground, where you indicated, because it was just in that point!
Oh ... I mean ... huh? What do you bring to mind?
That you were here last night before us!
The?
Enzo, the safe was open and only Augusto has the key!
Well? So? If he has it, I don't have it!
Renata!
Laura!
Renata! Laura!
Come on!
Very well! And now that we're all here, the truth is out!
The pacts, Michele ... remember that I don't speak to you anymore for a month!
You risk not talking to me for ten years, because this ...
.. it is the penalty foreseen by the code for your offense!
Listen, girls, as long as you joke, joke, ..
.. but now take out this blessed corpse!
Pap�!
And you are ready, that you will also have to say the prayers!
Okay, so it had to end like this.
Here a man was killed last night, ..
.. but we don't know by whom.
Probably from someone who came in to steal!
Really!
- Now blame me for the ... - Wait a minute!
- What's that got to do with you? - Nothing! Nothing!
They say I came here last night.
Come on! What's missing in the safe?
- Ah! But then she took the dollars !? - Good!
The lady gets in too!
Listen, Costanza, don't complicate things!
.. let's go in order.
The crime when it happened, ..
.. last night or tonight? - Last evening. But we came later.
It was just me at the time of the tragedy, but I was upstairs.
- Why "disgrace"? - I don't want to consider it a fortune!
- Didn't you see anything? - No, but he heard ..
.. of the noises below. - Thieves usually don't make noise.
It may be that the thief, ..
.. attacked the man who was here.
Where were the dollars? In the safe?
But no, lawyer, that was opened with your key.
- Did the thief have the key ?! - It may be that Augusto ..
.. has lost it. - Well, when he comes he is asked ...
It's useless!
It's useless! I'll tell you.
I took the print.
Yes, but I swear I didn't kill that one! He was already dead.
While...
As I opened the safe, I believed ..
.. to hear a noise behind me and I turned around, ..
.. with the light bulb I lit up the table.
I turned on the light ..
.. and I saw the dead man, ..
.. I took the dollars and ran away!
And she didn't do anything? Didn't she try to help him?
The?
No, sister, I confess: I had one of those fears!
And how did you know he was dead?
Sorry, I see someone on the ground with a broken head ...
You don't need a certificate!
- Who's that killed him? - What do I know?
- Someone who had entered before me! - This is possible.
At the time of the cry, I stayed on for a while ..
No no no!
You said tonight you got off right away, huh!
Yes! - Did I say so? - Yes!
But I don't think so!
Would who killed him have left the dollars on the table?
- And how many were there? - Twenty thousand. - Woh!
Don't you believe me, Michele?
And neither do you?
Do you think that I ...
Ah well! Say it! Say it! Come on!
But how? How do you do it?
We have known each other for a long time. Yes, okay, it won't be ..
.. a saint's shin, but I've never killed anyone! Never!
Michele...
Laura, help me! Laura ...
It is not true!
- I've never killed anyone! - Take it easy! - Excuse me.
I would like to say something to Renata.
A me?
Alone, are you sorry?
Absolutely no.
But my child, these are not things for you!
Do you want to show me where the crime happened?
.. this is where we found it!
An innocent person cannot be accused. You think?
But I don't accuse him, on the contrary ...
You were talking about noises a while ago.
Did you hear them tonight?
- How about a fight? - Yes.
You see, Renata, but there is nothing broken here.
Just nothing!
- And two fighting, I think ... - Giovanna, you ...
I think you didn't tell the truth.
Call Laura!
Commissioner, they wanted at all costs ..
.. let us take the package away.
I thought it was a small package ..
- Eh ... - .. to be worn tied to the little finger.
- Eh, eh! But guess what was there? - Fortune tellers!
Say quietly. If you don't guess right, we'll tell you.
I guess nothing. Speak!
Eh, sorry, she refuses to cooperate!
Say, inspector! Don't be shy!
- Don't be afraid! - Eh!
It doesn't matter if he's wrong.
Sometimes I'm wrong too!
In short, do you want to speak yes or no?
- Let me! - Luigi, ..
.. we tell him? Otherwise the Commissioner gets angry!
Alright then!
There was a man in the package!
- Died? - Aaah! Here we go again! Doctor, you disappoint me.
Have you ever seen a man alive?
I see it every day!
Yes, but not packaged ... packaged!
It was dead!
Ah!
Good! Good good good!
- He's happy! - He didn't understand anything! - Understood!
Commissioner, ..
- I get it! I get it! - Forgive him, engineer ..
.. and that is doctor, my friend was believed that you were a man ..
.. of low intelligence.
- Please, the van. - Yes, sir!
Did you find the man you were looking for?
- No. - But yes!
I'm sure it's him. He looks like us in everything ..
.. and for everything but one small detail.
Could you describe it to me?
- What the ... - Wonderful!
- But beautiful! Exciting! Blonde!
Voluptuous! With two things here! With two more things here!
- And so many beautiful things! - Sitting!
Didn't you say it's a man?
- Eh! - Precisely! And this is the only detail that does not coincide!
- He's concentrating! - Where is it?
Well, you two! Come with me!
- We're innocent! - Psst! Walk! Go!
We're innocent!
Yes, he was very drunk ..
.. but it's not true that he got his hands on me.
I mounted myself.
The action he was doing to you made my stomach turn.
Then the rancor that I harbored inside of me ever since ...
- Did he ever tell you about me? - No.
To me of you yes.
What did he say to you?
Nothing that can't flatter a guy like you.
Strange!
I thought you didn't know him.
It was shortly after your wedding.
When you left for your honeymoon, ..
.. one day he phoned me ..
.. and told me that he had seen me once with you.
It wasn't a good reason to get you together.
It lasted as long as your honeymoon.
- Rogue! - Why was he my lover? You were married!
No, perch�...
Because he left you!
What shocked me the most was his cynicism, ..
.. the contempt he had for all beautiful things ..
.. in which we believed!
And when he began to laugh ..
.. I lost my mind!
He was always a wretch!
- He just believed in money! - With you, Laura!
With me it was different! He worked seriously, ..
.. we talked about getting married, he didn't play anymore!
What do you mean? Is it my fault?
You don't do it on purpose, ..
.. but when a man likes you, what he does ..
.. once you get out of bed, it doesn't concern you anymore!
But I don't kill them!
Excuse me!
Claudio needed to be guided!
It wasn't easy, but I could!
Continues! And the rest is my fault too? Even that..
.. what did you do last night? - No, don't worry, ..
.. no one will ever accuse you for this!
You were in the villa in Genoa, ..
.. to celebrate your wedding anniversary. You have an alibi.
Nothing happens to guys like you!
You never lose your temper. It is the others who are crazy, ..
.. who no longer see us!
As I said, Commissioner, this is the villa!
Just this. Identical!
There are also moron sailors.
- They must certainly have talked. - Better stop it now!
No, wait!
- I'm going. - With cops, your charm is useless!
Can we go now?
- No, you stay here! - You heard, you have to stay here.
I'll come back to pick you up later.
No. Stay here too!
Commissioner, but if that sees us, ..
.. makes us carry the package by force.
Don't worry, they won't make you any more proposals like that.
Doctor, I should talk to you.
- Huh? - We...
You know, since it's an equivocal house, we wouldn't want to ...
.. that our ladies would find out.
You stay here until I tell you! Understood?
Otherwise I'll put you in trouble!
Oh!
If they told you there is a body here ...
Yes, something like that.
It's the truth! He wanted to touch me, put his hands on me ...
I didn't want to kill him, but I got scared and hit him on the head.
That's not true, Commissioner!
It was me!
Don't listen to her! He's trying to excuse you!
Va b !
Let's say the killer is one of you two.
In the meantime, could we see this corpse?
Come!
Where am I, sister? How many hours have I slept?
It's been since last night! Now it's noon, do you ..
.. the bill! - Does your head ache a lot?
- Eh, I'm spinning. - Of course, it's a hangover!
It's like all my bones are broken, like they have me ..
.. thrown down the stairs ...
Typical example of the hangover. I modestly understand, you know!
- And then ... but why did they wrap me in a carpet? - Dunno.
He is upstairs, in the closet room, where he has not entered.
Ah!
Ah, that's why he has me ...
- What stopped me? - Also for this!
Ah, what a day! What a day!
Oh good! Give me some Brandy, yes ...
Ninth. A coffee is better for her.
Well? Weren't you up to pray?
- With your father? - We went into the closet room and ...
And did you feel bad? Uhm ... What do you learn to be a bully, ..
.. he who is not afraid of the dead!
But no, mom!
He is not dead!
- What are you saying? Who is not dead? -
According to her, the Commissioner already knows the name of the killer.
Eh, it's just a matter of choosing. Both ladies ..
.. they have already confessed. - Thing?
- Laura too? - Laura? I don't know who it is!
Eh, thanks! Thanks!
She's an idiot! Did you understand? That trouble is looking for them!
But no, wait! We know nothing!
A little respect for me, sorry. If the husband ..
.. hunting out of the house, what do I do? Am I going to work ?!
Lord, if the corpse does not come out, ..
.. I can't indict anyone. - He does not believe it?
This is not a joke!
- But no! - Unfortunately not! I really killed him!
Ah! Heard?
- No, Renata! It was me! - But ladies, usually women ..
.. they contend for the same man, but ... but when he is alive! No?
- The commissioner? - Yes.
- I need to talk to her. - Ah! Did you find the body?
No, ma..
.. I made him a corpse. - What do you say, sorry?
- It was me! - Ah! To do what?
To kill him. Yes, I came here, I found him and after ..
.. a furious fight, I killed him. - Um ...
Please take me away without putting the handcuffs on me.
My God! But this is a mania! There is no one else over there ..
.. who wants to confess?
Ah, and you, Marina, have you killed anyone?
Uhm! I meant well that you didn't blame me! No!
- There! -
- Who is that? -
Come! Come, Commissioner!
- Claudio! - He's resurrected!
Where do you come from?
From the closet room. But who took me there?
Do you ask me?
- I've been passed out since last night. - What did he do there?
- I slipped and knocked on the fireplace step. - Um!
Commissioner ...
- Uh, Michele! - Ah, ah, ah ...
Well, you got a lawsuit! You know how wary we are, ..
.. us of the police? We could not believe in a misfortune ..
.. and accuse someone! - Patience!
- It will be for another time! - Um ...
Thanks!
- Excuse me, dear, if I was late, but ... - Imagine!
- Aren't you angry? - Not at all and why?
Aren't you the new Commissioner?
Yes, but I'm here privately.
So much pleasure! Nice to meet you!
You know he is a friend of Marina and Michele ...
- Ah, yes! Yes! - Very good!
-
The gentleman is a friend of the Commissioner.
- Ah! - Yes, yes! He's my friend!
Eh, but what did he do to his head? You are lucky!
We have a very good doctor!
Feel free to rely on his hands without fear.
I know and he has a very light hand!
Here it is! Abbacchio alla cacciatora!
-
- Mrs. Costanza here, Marina there ... - Yes, yes ...
You, Augusto, on my right ..
- Good. - .. and the Commissioner ... but ...
Where is the Commissioner?
- Let's leave! - Wait up. Haven't you heard he gets us through trouble!
Very good! But where did they arrest him?
A Savona?
We wanted to look for him here! That is fine! Thank you, Brigadier!
Quick, Commissioner, we are all waiting for you. Come!
On my left.
- You're welcome ma'am! - Thanks!
- Oh! What is it? - But ... who knows!
Why don't you like it?
But it is wonderful! Look, Renata! Look how wonderful!
Nice! And then when something is deserved ...
- Do you understand, Michele? - Um?
Regulated! The day you wanted to betray me ...
But I have not betrayed her! It was just a misunderstanding.
But if for a misunderstanding she gives her a gift of that type there, ..
.. when he betrays her seriously, he ends up ruining himself.
Ah, ah, ah...
No, no, I want to be well informed. Adultery ..
.. if caught red-handed ...
- .. how is it punished? - Well, the wife is arrested.
-
But even wives always get away with it, don't worry!
If you are so sure, why don't you get married?
Excuse me!
.. let's hear him too. - Well, now let's not exaggerate, eh!
The arrest of his wife is a party complaint, ..
.. but here fortunately it seems to me that this is not the case.
Marina is too in love and Mrs. Laura ..
.. I don't think he wants to take risks like that ...
Take away a curiosity: if one day you happen to commit ...
.. she is an adultery, how does she behave? Does it stop by itself?
- I'm arresting the husband! - Uhm, uhm ...
- Like? Like? - No, I was kidding!
Yes, it's him. There are no doubts.
How not? The man in the raincoat.
- Do we want to do this boat trip? - Thing?
Eh ... don't you remember me?
Tonight we waited.
It is with him that we have to make the trip!
No! It is with him that we have to do it.
No ... it is with him that we must leave ...
Alright then! You leave with him and I leave with her ..
.. and let's see who travels better!
Subtitles: CINEMATEXT MEDIA ITALIA