C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004) - full transcript

Set in an contemporary alternative world where the Confederate States of America managed to win the American Civil War, a British film documentary examines the history of this nation. Beginning with its conquest of the northern states, the film covers the history of this state where racial enslavement became triumphant and the nation carried sinister designs of conquest. Interspersed throughout are various TV commercials of products of a virulent racist nature as well as public service announcements promoting this tyranny. Only at the end do you learn that there is less wholly imagined material in the film than you might suspect.


(train whistle blows)

VOICEOVER: "A man fills"
{y:i}many roles in his lifetime...

{y:i}provider, protector,
{y:i}master of the house.

{y:i}As a father, you have a vital role
{y:i}in your family's life.

{y:i}They depend on you to be there.

{y:i}We help to make sure
{y:i}you can fulfill that promise because...

{y:i}no matter what they call you...

{y:i}at the end of the day,
{y:i}you know you're just... Dad.

{y:i}Confederate Family Insurance

{y:i}for over 100 years protecting a people...
{y:i}and their property.

{y:i}You're watching Channel 6,

{y:i}San Francisco,
{y:i}the city by the bay...

{y:i}Confederate Television.

{y:i}Tonight, the most anxiously awaited
{y:i}television event of the decade.

{y:i}See the controversial film from Britain

{y:i}that shook our beloved nation
{y:i}and created a national scandal.

{y:i}In response to popular demand
{y:i}it will be shown tonight,

{y:i}uncensored and in its entirety.

{y:i}Held from the American airwaves
{y:i}for nearly two years,

{y:i}"C.S.A."is next!

From the very beginnin',
it was deadly serious.

This was no interim idea
or experiment.

The principal founding fathers
were all Southern.

They saw themselves
in the best tradition

of George Washington
and Thomas Jefferson.

NARRATOR: "In their eyes, they would"
{y:i}lead a second American Revolution.

See, Bobby, the richest Americans
were concentrated in the South.

But Mr. Johnson, the North
had significant industry...

wouldn't "they" have been wealthier?

Remember, Bobby,
cotton was America's number one export.

This made Southerners,
as well as Northern textile mills,

very wealthy.

So cotton was king!

Boy howdy! Slaves must have been
pretty important then, huh?

And how!

{y:i}By 1860, a young prime field hand

{y:i}would sell for as much
{y:i}as a luxury car would today.


{y:i}American slaves represented
{y:i}more capital

{y:i}than any other asset
{y:i}in the entire nation!

(cash register ka-chings)

Golly, Mr. Johnson,

America was "always"
a slave-based economy!

That's right, Bobby.
And that's why we fought for it.

MAN: "If I could save the Union"
{y:i}without freeing any slave, I would do it.

{y:i}"And if I could save it by freeing
{y:i}all the slaves, I would do it.

{y:i}"What I do about slavery
{y:i}and the colored race

{y:i}I do because I believe it helps
{y:i}to save the Union."

{y:i}Abraham Lincoln.

NARRATOR: "By January 1861,"
{y:i}most people in the American South

{y:i}believed the election of
{y:i}Republican president Abraham Lincoln

{y:i}would terminate
{y:i}their ownership of Negroes.

{y:i}A provisional government was formed,

{y:i}and Jefferson Davis of Mississippi
{y:i}was elected president.

{y:i}The new seal of the Confederacy expressed
{y:i}the vision of the young nation.

{y:i}Surrounded by a bountiful
{y:i}agricultural Eden,

{y:i}at its center is George Washington
{y:i}on horseback.

{y:i}a Virginian and slaveholder,

{y:i}would become the father
{y:i}of the Confederacy.

In very little time,

the Confederacy defined itself
as an independent, sovereign nation.

One man from Virginia remarked,

"Hellfire, if I had known
it was gonna be that easy,

I'd cut loose from the Yankee
years ago."

NARRATOR: "Meanwhile,"
{y:i}the Union victory at Antitem

{y:i}gave President Lincoln the opportunity
{y:i}to make a revolutionary proclamation.

"LINCOLN: "I do" order "and declare"
{y:i}that all persons held as slaves

{y:i}"within said designated states
{y:i}and parts of states

{y:i}are and henceforward
{y:i}shall be free."

NARRATOR: "The proclamation"
{y:i}did not free a single slave.

{y:i}It was purely symbolic

{y:i}and used by Lincoln
{y:i}to frame the war in moral intent.

{y:i}President Davis countered
{y:i}so-called emancipation

{y:i}by sending Judah P. Benjamin

{y:i}to negotiate the military
{y:i}and financial involvement

{y:i}of the foreign powers
{y:i}Britain and France.

{y:i}Benjamin, a Jew
{y:i}and the South's most brilliant legal mind,

{y:i}defied anti-Semitic attitudes
{y:i}to become Secretary of State

{y:i}and President Davis' chief advisor.

{y:i}Benjamin matched Lincoln

{y:i}by wisely promoting the Southern cause
{y:i}of states' rights...

{y:i}not as the preservation of slavery,
{y:i}but as the freedom of private property.

{y:i}Benjamin's gambit worked.

{y:i}Fighting for freedom, not slavery,

{y:i}opened the avenue for
{y:i}Europe's entrance into the war.

{y:i}With the assistance of several divisions
{y:i}of British and French troops,

{y:i}Lee's armies at Gettysburg
{y:i}routed the Union forces.

When those federal soldiers
saw those French and British troops

moving up on line
on either side of Lee's flanks,

many of 'em just broke and ran.

{y:i}And in a matter of months,

{y:i}Southern troops took the nation's capital,

{y:i}capturing the White House.

{y:i}But there was no sign
{y:i}of President Lincoln.

{y:i}In a small house
{y:i}outside Washington, D.C.,

{y:i}on April 9, 1864,

{y:i}General Ulysses S. Grant
{y:i}surrendered to General Robert E. Lee.

{y:i}The bloody conflict had finally ended.

{y:i}It became the primary objective
{y:i}of Confederate forces

{y:i}to locate and arrest
{y:i}the now-deposed President Lincoln.

{y:i}Confederate forces were everywhere.

{y:i}A desperate Lincoln
{y:i}turned to Harriet Tubman.

{y:i}Tubman, wanted,
{y:i}with a huge bounty on her head,

{y:i}would the last resort for a president
{y:i}literally running for his life.

{y:i}Tubman's underground railroad
{y:i}was a series of way stations

{y:i}that organized the escape
{y:i}of over 200 slaves

{y:i}out of the United States, to freedom.

{y:i}But her dearest passenger would require
{y:i}Tubman's most ingenious plan to date.

She chose to disguise

President Lincoln in blackface

and travel with him along one of
her many secret slave routes.

When Lincoln scoffed at the plan,
Tubman, never one to mince words,

reminded him of the huge bounty
on his head.

She said simply,
"We're both niggers now... Mr. President."

{y:i}A crack battalion of Confederate troops

{y:i}was dispatched from Detroit
{y:i}to locate and arrest Lincoln and Tubman

{y:i}before they could escape into Canada.

{y:i}Lincoln and Tubman were captured
{y:i}trying to cross Lake St. Clair.

{y:i}President Abraham Lincoln was now
{y:i}a prisoner of the Confederate Army.

{y:i}In 1915, the capture of Lincoln
{y:i}as also dramatized

{y:i}in D. W. Griffith's silent film classic
{y:i}"The Hunt for Dishonest Abe."

(piano accompanies
silent film)

Jefferson Davis, on learnin' of
Mr. Lincoln's capture in blackface,

termed the arrest "symbolic."

{y:i}A quick trial was convened,

{y:i}and former-President Lincoln
{y:i}was convicted of war crimes

{y:i}against the Southern Nation.

{y:i}He was imprisoned in Fortress Monroe
{y:i}near Norfolk, Virginia.

{y:i}It was from the window of his damp cell
{y:i}that he watched the execution

{y:i}of the woman who runaway slaves
{y:i}called "Moses."

Tubman knew on her capture
that she would be executed

for her many crimes against the South.

TUBMAN: "I'd rather die fightin'"
{y:i}to free others from this evil nation

{y:i}than live within it
{y:i}another minute as a slave."

There were many who were clamorin'
for Mr. Lincoln's execution also,

but President Davis understood
that sparing Lincoln's life

would ease tensions in the North.

A wise man, he was already
lookin' to the future.

{y:i}After serving two years,

{y:i}a frail and gaunt Lincoln
{y:i}was granted a full pardon

{y:i}and exiled to Canada.

{y:i}He never returned to his homeland.

{y:i}In June 1905, shortly before his death,

{y:i}he granted a rare interview from Montreal.

{y:i}"I failed to see it.

The abolitionists understood
what the consequences would be.

They knew it was always
about the Negro, but I was blind.

Now I see.

I see what our once-great country
has become.

I only wish that I had
truly cared for the Negro...

truly cared for his freedom,

for his equality.

I used him, now I am used.

Now I, too, am a Negro...
without a country.

I pray that someday the colored people
of Confederate America will be free.

A nation stained with the blood
of injustice cannot stand.

I only regret that...

I shall not live to see it fall.

HOYLE: When Mr. Lincoln
died in exile in Canada,

he was a lonely and bitter man...

disgraced, abandoned...

almost entirely forgotten by history.

Today he's only remembered as

the man who lost the war
of Northern aggression.

(engine running)

(engine off)

I'm so tired of eating dust.
I've tried everything, and nothin' works.

Is there "anything" that can
make this car faster?

Try some of this, sport.

- Duke Cooter!
- Duke Cooter!

Sambo X-15 is specially formulated
for the way America drives.

It blasts and cleans away
those stubborn black deposits

that rob your engine of power.

It lubricates and protects!

Listen to her purr!
Thanks, Duke.

Don't thank me.
Thank Sambo X-15.

It's what the pros use.

- When may I expect dinner, Beulah?
- Presently, Mr. Harry, presently.

{y:i}What would the noontime be

{y:i}without the classic
{y:i}"Leave it to Beulah"?

{y:i}Beulah, who's always in the kitchen...

...but never seems to know
what's cookin'!

NARRATOR: "The victory was cause"
{y:i}for grand celebration.

{y:i}Plantations throughout the South
{y:i}were the center of jubilant parties

{y:i}welcoming back the troops,

{y:i}returning them to a now-blessed
{y:i}and triumphant way of life.

{y:i}With the stroke of a pen,

{y:i}President Davis annexes
{y:i}the United States.

{y:i}The symbols of the old government
{y:i}are removed.

{y:i}It becomes
{y:i}the Confederate States of America.

{y:i}"Dixie,"a former minstrel show tune,
{y:i}written, ironically, by a Northerner,

{y:i}replaces the National Anthem.

{y:i}President Davis quickly left Richmond

{y:i}and moved the office of the presidency
{y:i}to Washington and the White House.

{y:i}But two problems would follow.

{y:i}"We were surrounded.

{y:i}"He say, 'Lay down your arms
{y:i}and go back to your plantations, or die.'

{y:i}"Our wives and children,
{y:i}all of us, we say, 'Fight.'

{y:i}"These rebs come at us in waves,
{y:i}screamin' like they do.

{y:i}"Our ammunition gone,
{y:i}they slaughtered us...

{y:i}"women, children... didn't matter.

{y:i}"He spared me and my family.

{y:i}"He say to me, 'My name is
{y:i}Colonel Nathan Bedford Forrest,

{y:i}"and your nigger soul
{y:i}shall live to testify our superiority.'

{y:i}Then they shot my wife and boy."

{y:i}Moses Butler,
{y:i}First Kansas Volunteers.

MAN #2: "They looked to the generals"
{y:i}and asked, 'Why?

{y:i}"Why was it necessary
"to burn and pillage? '

{y:i}"They remember
{y:i}the once-beautiful New York City...

{y:i}"the historic Boston, Massachusetts.

{y:i}"They see them in ruin,
{y:i}and wonder why.

{y:i}"Yet during the war
{y:i}those same people demanded,

"Win! Conquer! Kill the Yankees! '

{y:i}"Nothing good will ever come of war.

{y:i}War is hell."

{y:i}General Robert E. Lee.

NARRATOR: "The fate of millions"
{y:i}of black slaves seemed settled

{y:i}when a surprising call
{y:i}for emancipation arose

{y:i}from an even more surprising source.

LEE: "I again assert that Virginia"
{y:i}and the South as a whole

{y:i}"would fare better if she could
{y:i}get rid of the Negro population.

{y:i}They will be a cause of serious trouble
{y:i}in our attempt to hold them."

{y:i}Lee would cause a firestorm of debate

{y:i}over what to do with
{y:i}the post-war slaves.

{y:i}A dashing freshman congressman
{y:i}from Virginia would take the floor

{y:i}and establish himself as the leader
{y:i}of the pro-slavery position.

{y:i}It is said that John Ambrose Fauntroy

{y:i}could persuade any colleague
{y:i}from his position

{y:i}or charm any woman from her dress.

FAUNTROY: "We have always known"
{y:i}that the honorable General Lee

{y:i}"was a secret emancipationist.

{y:i}"However, the noble gentleman

{y:i}"knows more of military matters
{y:i}than civil affairs.

{y:i}"Dear friends,
{y:i}the Colored is not ready for freedom.

{y:i}"To free him is to make him an orphan.

{y:i}Liberty would be a great curse
{y:i}to the race."

{y:i}Congressman John Ambrose Fauntroy,

{y:i}President Davis, however,

{y:i}approached the question from
{y:i}a practical point of view.

Davis was having
one of his many sleepless nights.

He was down in the kitchen
with Varina, his wife,

when his faithful servant, OI' Popsy,
brought him a cup of hot coffee.

And over that cup of coffee,
they would alter the course of history.

{y:i}The moment was captured

{y:i}in the 1946 RKO film
{y:i}"The Jefferson Davis Story."

{y:i}The role of Popsy is played by
{y:i}the renowned Shakespearean actor

{y:i}Sir Frederick Littlefield.

VARINA: Come to bed, Jefferson.

- You haven't slept all night.
- How can I sleep, Varina?

I must find a way to unite this country.

(Popsy chuckling)

I heard Miss Varina stirring.
I knew you were up again.

Lawd, sir, what am I
gonna do with you?

Jefferson, you've tried so.
Don't make yourself ill.

Mm-hmm. You sho' nuff have, suh.

You done all a man can do, suh.

I know, I know, but...

I must find a way to bring the North
into our way of life.

If I don't, it may spell disaster.

Master President?

May an old no-account darkie like me
axe a question, sir?

- Yes, what is it, Popsy?
- Well, Master President,

I heard folks say back long ago

that them Northern folks had slaves.

Yes, they did, Popsy.
Years ago.

Well, Master, supposin'...
just supposin' now...

they owned them "again..."
just like in the old days.

It was good to 'em once,

might be good to 'em... again.

My God!

That's it!

JOHNSON: Ironically,

it was the old slave
who gave President Davis the notion

that would rejuvenate
the institution of slavery

and direct the country's path
for centuries to come.

{y:i}The Davis plan took the form
{y:i}of an income tax

{y:i}designed to rebuild the North.

{y:i}Still, former Unionists
{y:i}did have another option.

The entire tax, collected only
from former Union citizens,

could be abated with the purchase
of household or industrial slaves.

The choice was yours.

{y:i}To manage the plan,

{y:i}Davis selected Congressman
{y:i}John Ambrose Fauntroy.

{y:i}We spoke with the congressman's

{y:i}John Ambrose Fauntroy V,

{y:i}the Democratic nominee
{y:i}for president,

{y:i}at his Washington, D.C.,
{y:i}campaign headquarters.

Horace. Lindsay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Horace's family, uh,
has been with our family...

oh, geez, for how many
generations now?

- Since the beginning, sir.
- Yeah.

- He's like family to us.
- Pleasure meeting you, Horace.

{y:i}Great-grandfather, he...

oh, he welcomed the appointment.

See, he was a student of human nature,

so he... well, he easily predicted the choice
that the Northerners would make.

And he was humored by the sudden
moral confusion of the abolitionists.

He called the whole thing
a giant garden party for the nation.

NARRATOR: "Stray Negroes,"
{y:i}free and slave,

{y:i}children, the elderly,

{y:i}or anyone with dark skin
{y:i}who could not prove Caucasian ancestry,

{y:i}were arrested and placed in cattle pens
{y:i}in most major Northern cities.

{y:i}Former Southern owners
{y:i}traveled for hundreds of miles

{y:i}to sort through
{y:i}the thousands of black faces

{y:i}and claim their escaped property.

{y:i}Most perplexed about their fate
{y:i}under the plan

{y:i}were those of mixed racial background.

{y:i}A small number of
{y:i}so-called mulatto slave owners

{y:i}existed in South Carolina
{y:i}and other Southern states.

{y:i}Formerly called Free Men of Color,

{y:i}under the Davis Plan
{y:i}the "One Drop Statute"

{y:i}constituted their inclusion
{y:i}to the breed.

Mixed-race slaveholders were sold
right along with their full-blooded slaves.

As one slave put it, "Light, bright,
damn sure ain't white."

NARRATOR: "Abolitionists rallied"
{y:i}to combat the Davis Plan.

{y:i}Walt Whitman penned this protest
"in the" Brooklyn Eagle:

{y:i}"Slavery is a good thing to the rich,
{y:i}the one out of thousands,

{y:i}"but it is destructive
{y:i}to the dignity and independence

{y:i}of all who work,
{y:i}and to labor itself."

{y:i}But Fauntroy countered:

{y:i}"We are immigrants
{y:i}from different countries,

{y:i}"different backgrounds,
{y:i}different languages.

{y:i}"Only one tie holds us all together:
{y:i}Our white ancestry.

{y:i}"But this slavery is afforded
{y:i}not just for the rich,

{y:i}"but for every man according to his color.

{y:i}"I wish to God every head of a family
{y:i}in this great land had one slave

{y:i}to take the drudgery and menial service
{y:i}off the family."

Northerners began to appreciate

what Southerners had always known:

It's good to be the master.

NARRATOR: "A secret meeting was"
{y:i}held in the home of Susan B. Anthony

{y:i}to respond to the success
{y:i}of the Davis Plan.

{y:i}There, William Lloyd Garrison
{y:i}read his now-famous letter

{y:i}"Why We Must Leave."

GARRISON: "We are living"
{y:i}under a brutal slave oligarchy

{y:i}"that now threatens to starve us
{y:i}if we do not do their evil bidding.

{y:i}"Will I make a compact
{y:i}with the slaveholder?

{y:i}"The man who plunders cradles,

{y:i}"scourges women with the lash
{y:i}till the soil is red with blood?

{y:i}"Never, my dear friends.

{y:i}Simply, we must leave."

NARRATOR: "About 20,000 whites,"
{y:i}mostly Northerners,

{y:i}followed Garrison across the border
{y:i}to Canada.

{y:i}Among the notable expatriates
{y:i}were Harriet Beecher Stowe,

{y:i}Henry David Thoreau,

{y:i}Mark Twain,

{y:i}Ralph Waldo Emerson,

{y:i}and the outspoken Wendell Phillips.

PHILLIPS: "It does not surprise me"
{y:i}that the North

{y:i}"has taken to this monstrous plan.

{y:i}"There were always just a few
{y:i}true abolitionists.

{y:i}"For if the North were ever
{y:i}against slavery,

{y:i}it would not have lasted
{y:i}these many years."

NARRATOR: "Another to leave"
{y:i}was the suffragette Susan B. Anthony.

{y:i}Anthony would lead
{y:i}a women's movement in Canada,

{y:i}gaining the vote for women in 1912.

One particular incident that really
got the attention of the country

was the matter of Cassie Brown
in 1875.

Cassie was a slave woman
who brutally murdered

the three white children in her charge
and escaped.

And she was never captured.

BROWN: "It hurts me to my soul"
{y:i}that I took them children's lives.

{y:i}"I loved them children,
{y:i}I swear I did.

{y:i}"I had me three children once ago.

{y:i}"They was took off and sold from me.

{y:i}"Them white babies
{y:i}wasn't my children,

{y:i}"and I wasn't they mama.

{y:i}No woman can be mama who ain't free."

{y:i}Cassie Brown, 1875.

HOYLE: For the first time,
people began to wonder

could they trust their black Mammy?

NARRATOR: "Slave owners"
{y:i}left befuddled at the behavior

{y:i}of their beloved slaves,

{y:i}turned to Dr. Samuel A. Cartwright
{y:i}of the University of Louisiana,

{y:i}a highly respected
{y:i}and widely published member

{y:i}of the American Medical Association.

{y:i}Cartwright, considered an expert
{y:i}on Negro diseases and peculiarities,

{y:i}had made a major breakthrough with
{y:i}his discovery of Drapetomania.

Drapetomania is a disease which
causes slaves to run away.

From the Latin "drapto,"
meaning "to flee,"

and "mania," an obsession.

Thus Dr. Cartwright believed
Drapetomania to be

the root cause of all runaways.

Amazingly, his research
would influence

an entire generation
of medical thought.

{y:i}"A slave is like a child

{y:i}"and should be treated with care.

{y:i}"However, when a slave becomes sulky

{y:i}"or dissatisfied,

{y:i}then I prescribe
{y:i}whippin' the devil out of him."

{y:i}Dr. Samuel A. Cartwright, 1870.

{y:i}John Ambrose Fauntroy,

{y:i}who many call
{y:i}the father of modern slavery,

{y:i}received the Democratic
{y:i}presidential nomination in 1880,

{y:i}but suffered a debilitating stroke
{y:i}weeks later.

{y:i}He died in 1882.

{y:i}The Fauntroy family would capture
{y:i}the imagination of the nation

{y:i}for years to come.

{y:i}A political dynasty, many consider
{y:i}the talented family American royalty.

I wanted a career
working firsthand with doctors

in a professional setting
that didn't take four long years.

I wanted to help all God's creatures,
great and small.

But my grades just weren't
high enough for medical school.

But now I'm on the fast track
to success!

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{y:i}and exciting career at Cl...

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{y:i}in e-slave accounting.

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(parody of "Cops" theme song

{y:i}While the Davis Plan rebuilt the cities,

{y:i}a psychological reconstruction
{y:i}would be instrumental

{y:i}in giving birth to a new nation.

{y:i}Confederate leaders
{y:i}knew it was necessary

{y:i}to reconstruct the minds
{y:i}of its slaves and citizens.

{y:i}This would become what
{y:i}some called the American Holocaust.

Reconstruction would see to it
that moral authority was reestablished.

Many called it "gentle reminder."

JOHNSON: Douglass and Garrison
responded to these horrors

by organizing fugitive slaves,
free blacks, Canadians,

and former U.S. Citizens
into a new organization...

the N.A.A.C. P...

the National Association for
the Advancement of Chattel People.

{y:i}A Confederate delegation

{y:i}met with Prime Minister
{y:i}Sir John A. McDonald

{y:i}and demanded the immediate return
{y:i}of all Negro property

{y:i}located within the Canadian territory.

JOHNSON: These were the darkest days
since the overturning of emancipation.

In the final hour, Frederick Douglass
was called before Parliament to speak.

DOUGLASS: "Gentlemen, the Negro"
{y:i}is only a darker version of yourself.

{y:i}"He has little to offer
{y:i}but the sweat of his brow,

{y:i}"the culture of his soul,
{y:i}and his good will.

{y:i}"The Negro's only demand is freedom.

{y:i}My dear brothers,
{y:i}stand with us in our fight for freedom."

The oratory of Douglass swayed
the needed votes against deportation.

However, the executions and tortures
had scared most slaves into submission.

Until the very end,
until his death in 1895,

Douglass fought against slavery
in the former United States.

Yes, it's...

it's over a hundred years ago,

but we have never forgotten
this Red Canadian injustice.

This... stolen property,
the lost labor...

must and will be repaid.

Simply put, it's a debt...

a debt that we demand in the form
of monetary reparations for slavery.

NARRATOR: "Confederate"
{y:i}reconstruction efforts

{y:i}were curtailed by the ongoing conflict
{y:i}with the Plains Indians.

{y:i}Land-hungry pioneers,
{y:i}gold prospectors,

{y:i}and expanding railroads
{y:i}wanted to move

{y:i}from the bustling South
{y:i}into the Great Plains.

{y:i}The Indians would have
{y:i}to be eliminated.

The government and their church leaders
instructed that, quote:

"The Great Spirit
gave the white man the Book,

the red man the arrow,
and the black man the hoe."

They took our children from us.

Children were forcibly removed
and sent to "boarding schools."

These boarding schools were
nothing more than total institutions

for the complete eradication
of their native heritage and pride.

One of my elders once told me,

"I've observed the red man
try to be a white man,

"and I've seen many brown, black
and yellow men try the same.

"But," he said, "no one
can play the white man like a white man."

NARRATOR: "The Plains Indian Wars"
{y:i}would last nearly thirty years.

{y:i}By 1890, the last Indian nation
{y:i}had been defeated by the C.S. Cavalry.

{y:i}In California,
{y:i}thousands of Chinese immigrants

{y:i}were employed as cheap labor

{y:i}constructing the nation's
{y:i}new railroad system.

{y:i}They were caught
{y:i}completely off guard

{y:i}when Congress passed
{y:i}the Yellow Peril Mandate.

Government agents
simply told West Coast employers

that the Chinese workers
they employed, they now owned.

What had been cheap labor
became slave labor.

HOYLE: One might have thought that
the proclamation of that mandate

would have effectively halted the influx
of all those workers from Asia.

But they just keep right on comin',

still believin' that jobs and bright futures
were there waitin' for 'em.

But that mandate effectively changed
the face of West Coast slavery

from black to yellow.

NARRATOR: "Fearful of"
{y:i}further non-white immigration,

{y:i}influential clergyman and author

{y:i}Reverend Claymore Penn Holmes
{y:i}of New York

{y:i}urged Congress to ensure
{y:i}the Confederate States

{y:i}would remain a Christian nation.

{y:i}The Christian Reform Act of 1895

{y:i}outlawed any religion
{y:i}not based on Christianity.

{y:i}After much debate, it was decided

{y:i}the Catholic church
{y:i}would be considered Christian,

{y:i}but the Jews would be asked to leave.

As Davis lay on his death bed,

he literally pleaded with the Congress
to revoke the act.

He reminded them of
the gallant work of his Secretary of State,

Judah P. Benjamin, and other Jews
who had supported the Confederacy.

When young Congressman
John Ambrose Fauntroy II

visited the dyin' man,

Fauntroy made the mistake
of asserting to Davis

that the nation would be better off
without those "blood-sucking Jews."

Davis, for his part,
reached out with a frail hand

and grabbed young Fauntroy
by the collar and fairly hissed,

"Don't you ever forget, sir,

that it was a blood-suckin' Jew
who saved this country."

Well, Benjamin was
personally hurt by the act.

But the death of Davis did create
a provision allowing a small number of Jews

to remain on the reservation
here on Long Island.

NARRATOR: "While blacks"
{y:i}were gaining political support in Canada,

{y:i}in the C.S.A., North-South relations
{y:i}were being romanticized.

{y:i}The once-bloody Civil War
{y:i}had become civil.

Novelists during Reconstruction

mended the divide
between the two regions.

In their books, the aims and causes
of the war suddenly changed.

Slavery is no longer mentioned
as the cause of the war.

This is key to reconciliation.

Thus the suffering of slaves is ignored.

We are presented with only
loyal black servants.

However, the courage
and sacrifice of whites

on both sides of the Mason-Dixon Line
is romantically examined.

They struggle to survive,
they protect their homes and families.

General and battlefields
take on a new flair.

The smallest details
become dramatically important.

In best-sellers like "My Union Soldier"
and "Of Bells and Blue"

Southerners are taught
to pity the North,

to cry for the lost cause
of the Union,

the misguided attempt
to free the slaves.

Northerners are presented
as a valiant people

who once ruled a mighty land
that simply lost its way.

NARRATOR: "The most popular of"
{y:i}these works of reconstructionism

{y:i}is "A Northern Wind."

{y:i}Recently the play had
{y:i}a successful revival on Broadway.

I don't know how to thank you,
Miss Violet.

You tended my wounds.

You brought me back
from death's door!

And though we shall lose this war,

my heart...

will be here with you...


When my husband died at Antitem,
I said I'd die... I'd just die!...

before I'd even speak
to another Yankee.

But you...

you have had an effect on me, sir.

I shall never... never! ...be the same.

- I must go.
- No!

Who are you, my little soldier blue

And though I hate you so

I will never let you go

You tried to take my blacks

I tried to take your blacks

But I must

Have you back

For we are lovers

We are lovers

Underneath the same flag

(cheers and applause)

{y:i}With reconstruction complete,

{y:i}the C.S.A., inspired by
{y:i}the empires of Britain and France,

{y:i}were anxious to embark on a journey

{y:i}to become the most powerful empire
{y:i}in the world.

VOICEOVER: "Do you know someone"
{y:i}of questionable racial identity?

{y:i}A neighbor? Someone at work?

{y:i}Contact the Office of Racial Identity

{y:i}at 1-800-555-PASS.

{y:i}You might be eligible
{y:i}for a cash reward.

That's right... passing.

{y:i}Can ya' stand it, boss?

{y:i}Can you take

{y:i}all 'dem microscopic shiners

{y:i}gleamin'yo' teefus?

{y:i}Go on, now. That's it.


{y:i}Now, that's the power of Darky!

{y:i}Mmm, Darky?

For a shine that's Jigaboo Bright!

{y:i}In the summer of 1900,

{y:i}Confederate framers
{y:i}act on their vision

{y:i}of a lush, productive super-state.

{y:i}They would civilize the savage regions
{y:i}of the Southern Hemisphere.

FAUNTROY V: Well, it was called
a "splendid little war,"

but it really became
the first opportunity to test

North-South unity.

Against a foreigner... non-American
and a foe of color... the Spanish...

the war was a rousing,
unifying success.

NARRATOR: "With decisive victories"
{y:i}against the Spanish in Cuba

{y:i}and in the Caribbean,

{y:i}the expansion continued into Mexico.

HOYLE: These Latin American countries
as Confederate satellites

were organized along
grand antebellum lines

with marvelous slave-based
plantation economies.

Of course, only white people
could hold Nigra slaves.

But in Mexico, the Mexicans themselves
were never subjected to slavery as such.

There they have a system
that was implemented called "Apart"

which separated the Mexican people
from the white Americans

who now rule the country.

This system of apartness
effectively created two worlds:

One white and the other Mexican,

separate and unequal.

The system did have the advantage
of allowin' the Mexicans

the convenience of knowing their place
and staying in it.

(speaking Spanish)

{y:i}Confederate leadership

{y:i}saw the conquest of South America
{y:i}as its prize piece.

{y:i}Conquering a huge land mass
{y:i}would make it a true empire.

The critical mistake
Confederate leaders made

was in underestimating
the will of the South American people

to remain free.

HOYLE: Our boys hadn't died in such
large numbers since the Civil War.

I recall a story of a young boy
lying in a hospital,

having lost both his legs
in the jungles of Guatemala.

And one day when a general
was visiting the wounded,

he stopped by the boy's bed
and the young man,

disillusioned that he was,

rather plaintively looked up
at the general and said, "Why, General?"

And the general looked at
the young man and said,

"Son, it's because
we are Americans."

NARRATOR: "The high"
{y:i}personal cost of the expansion

{y:i}was the subject of
{y:i}the 1940 award-winning film

{y:i}"The Dark Jungle."

Have you heard?

It's on the table, Sergeant.

All of 'em?

Every single last one of 'em.

Good Lord!

Was it worth it, Sergeant?

Was it worth the lives of Cliff...

and Johnny... and Biff?

My God, man!

There's a whole world
of red and black and brown and yellow...

They'll always outnumber us.


I don't know much, but I know this:

This world is made for the God-fearing
to use as we see fit.

For a while these savages
call it theirs,

but they're just rentin' it.

It's ours!

It was "always" ours.

We just ain't claimed it all...


Kill 'em all!

And let God sort 'em out.

The costly victory in South America

instilled an even deeper belief
in Manifest Destiny.

They now truly believed they were
on a divinely ordained quest

for world domination.

Viola, honey, I just saw your slave
runnin' off down the street!

- Hurry! Call the police!
- No problem!

No problem? Aren't you
afraid he'll get away?

Heavens, no!
Not with The Shackle.

{y:i}Introducing The Shackle!

{y:i}The revolutionary new way
{y:i}of servant monitoring!

{y:i}Just place The Shackle
{y:i}around his or her wrist,

{y:i}and when your property
{y:i}strays from your designated area,

{y:i}in minutes the authorities
{y:i}have your chattel in custody.

{y:i}The secret? Inside The Shackle
{y:i}is a space-age computer monitoring chip

{y:i}allowing the police to track
{y:i}your slippery buck on radar.

{y:i}In no time,
{y:i}he's back home in his cabin!

{y:i}Made of lightweight
{y:i}aluminum alloys,

{y:i}The Shackle won't weight your uncle down
{y:i}like old-fashioned chains.

{y:i}And it's tough!

{y:i}The Shackle will stand up to
{y:i}the most strenuous of escape attempts.

{y:i}It's unbreakable! It comes in
{y:i}a variety of sizes.

{y:i}Perfect for children!

{y:i}And at the low, low price of $49.95!
{y:i}Why wait?

{y:i}Step into the 21st century.
{y:i}Get The Shackle!

- Aren't you going to stay for coffee?
- Can't! Gotta get The Shackle.

{y:i}Have your credit card ready
{y:i}or send $49.95

{y:i}check or money order
{y:i}to The Shackle.

{y:i}The Shackle!
{y:i}Keeps 'em in line every time!

{y:i}Operators are standing by.

At the Coon Chicken Inn,
we aim to please.

The best 100o/o Mammy-made
family-style meals!

You can taste the love!

I like the white meat.

I'm a breast man.

We just love it here.

You just keep hollerin'...
"Gal, fetch me some mo'!"

Look for that wide-mouthed coon
near you!

Coon Chicken Inn

NARRATOR: "By 1929,"

{y:i}Mexico, Central America,

{y:i}South American, Haiti
{y:i}and the Caribbean

{y:i}were all members of
{y:i}the growing Confederate Empire.

{y:i}However, the quick expansion
{y:i}would cost even more.

{y:i}The Wall Street crash
{y:i}would devastate the financial community.

{y:i}People lost entire fortunes overnight.

{y:i}The nation retreated into isolationism

{y:i}in an attempt to solve
{y:i}its domestic woes.

Grandfather taught us that
when you're caught in a dire situation,

when you're cornered,

you don't simply fall on your sword.

You find a way.

He found a way.

{y:i}It's relocation time

{y:i}as Senator John Ambrose Fauntroy II

{y:i}launches thousands
{y:i}of processed slaves

{y:i}for assignment overseas.

{y:i}Trained and ready for travel,

{y:i}whether it be to
{y:i}the now-Southern Mexico

{y:i}or the Confederate Islands,

{y:i}these darkies are anxious
{y:i}to get to work.

{y:i}They know their place
{y:i}and have their minds right.

{y:i}Yowsa, boss! Bon voyage
{y:i}to all those happy mammies and uncles.

{y:i}Good luck!

{y:i}Acted as middleman

{y:i}in the new slave trade,

{y:i}capturing and training slaves
{y:i}for export.

{y:i}Some slaves were chosen domestically
{y:i}from the poor of their own country,

{y:i}but traditional African slaves
{y:i}were always preferred.

JOHNSON: The selling of
the American way elevated the C.S.A.

Out of the depression.

This was made possible through
the... cooperation of African leaders.

Africa is a strange
and backward continent.

The world must understand
that captivity is good for the African.

He's better off with you
than with us.

We only secure and trade
the inferior tribes...

only those with whom
we have longstanding conflicts.

Of course, we have conflicts
with most tribes.


But for our cooperation,

American allows us
to govern our people.

They leave us alone.

They believe in democracy,
and so do we.

Critics often wonder how
Africans involved in the trade

can market other black people.

They say, "You should stick together.

You are human beings,
and you should help one another."

To this, I simply must say, "No."

Capitalism is no respecter of persons.

There's simply too much to be gained.

A good chief,

like a good congressman,
senator, or president,

always puts the prosperity
of his people first.


NARRATOR: "In Europe,"
{y:i}the rise of Nazi Germany

{y:i}was of little concern
{y:i}to the Confederate States

{y:i}and its isolationist foreign policy.

{y:i}Many Confederate leaders
{y:i}visited Germany,

{y:i}and attended the mass Nazi rallies.

{y:i}Congress officially supported Germany's
{y:i}new Aryan racial policies,

{y:i}calling them "biologically correct."

{y:i}Hitler returned the visit
{y:i}in the spring of 1935,

{y:i}touring the boroughs
{y:i}of New York City.

{y:i}Although protested
{y:i}by Jewish Americans,

{y:i}the trip was a resounding success.

{y:i}In Washington, Hitler proposed
{y:i}that America join with him

{y:i}in a final solution to the problem
{y:i}of inferior races.

{y:i}Hitler's plan was to
{y:i}exterminate the Jews of Europe

{y:i}and create a pure Aryan continent.

{y:i}Secretary of State
{y:i}John Ambrose Fauntroy III

{y:i}responded by suggesting that
{y:i}Germany not exterminate Jewish citizens,

{y:i}but instead use them
{y:i}as a productive slave labor force.

{y:i}Taking Hitler on a tour of American
{y:i}slave labor plantations and factories,

{y:i}Fauntroy and Hitler
{y:i}discussed the possibilities.

{y:i}No agreement was reached,

{y:i}but Secretary Fauntroy
{y:i}made it clear the C.S.

{y:i}Felt it immoral to waste
{y:i}human livestock,

{y:i}but promised not to intervene
{y:i}in any military conflict

{y:i}Germany had with its neighbors.

"America" did "have a new enemy."

{y:i}Japan had become expansionist,

{y:i}assembling a large military force.

{y:i}For the C.S.A., they posed a threat
{y:i}to the entire Pacific region.

{y:i}The Confederate States would act.

{y:i}On the morning of December 7th, 1941,

{y:i}America struck Japan
{y:i}in a devastating surprise attack.

{y:i}The air base on the Kuril Islands,

{y:i}the Japanese naval fleet
{y:i}anchored in Tokyo Bay,

{y:i}and the former capital of Kyoto
{y:i}were all heavily damaged

{y:i}by Confederate bombers.

{y:i}The war with Japan had begun.

Because the Japanese people
were small in physical stature,

and non-white, Confederate leaders
dismissed them as weak.

Once again, they underestimated
the will of a foreign power.

They would find out
just how weak they were.

NARRATOR: "So many men"
{y:i}were dying in the war

{y:i}that Confederate leaders
{y:i}turned to their slaves for assistance.

{y:i}The first to volunteer
{y:i}were West Coast enslaved Japanese

{y:i}anxious to prove their loyalty
{y:i}and perhaps gain their freedom.

{y:i}However, Congress decided they
{y:i}were sneaky and could not be trusted.

{y:i}They were banned from service.

{y:i}A regiment of slaves,
{y:i}the 129th Fighting Bucks,

{y:i}were leased by their owners
{y:i}to the Confederate armed forces

{y:i}to serve in combat.

{y:i}The slaves were promised their freedom
{y:i}if they would fight.

JOHNSON: The men of the 129th
fought with distinction and courage.

They were given
the most dangerous missions,

and casualties were very high.

But they earned the respect
of their Confederate officers.

Even after suffering
such tremendous losses,

the Japanese forces still
would just not surrender.

And then, by the grace of God,
we developed a weapon

that would put the entire
foreign world of coloreds in their place.

{y:i}The war was over,

{y:i}and it was a time
{y:i}for immense celebration.

{y:i}However, after the war,
{y:i}the 129th Fighting Bucks

{y:i}were returned to their masters
{y:i}for enslavement.

{y:i}No explanation was given.

Servant etiquette and proper table linens
for formal dinner parties,

how to be the belle of the ball,

and what to look for
when buying a Chinese gardener.

On the next
{y:i}Better Homes & Plantations.

It's a good thing.

MAID: "I just gave"
{y:i}this place a good scrubbin',

{y:i}but everything is still
{y:i}dull as dishwater!

{y:i}Miss Ann's gonna fret
{y:i}somethin' fierce!

- Hi.
- Hi.

MAID: Who is y'all?

- I'm Goldie.
- I'm Dustie.

We're the Gold Dust Twins!

{y:i}Are you a slave to housework?

{y:i}Let the Gold Dust Twins
{y:i}emancipate you

{y:i}from the burdens of cleaning.

{y:i}It gets everything
{y:i}shining like new!

Thank you, Goldie and Dustie!

TWINS: Don't be a slave.
Get Gold Dust today!

NARRATOR: "In 1950,"

{y:i}the Confederate States were enjoying
{y:i}a period of domestic tranquility.

{y:i}Antebellum values
{y:i}were at the core of this peace.

{y:i}Slaves had been beaten
{y:i}into submission...

{y:i}the future was rich with promise.

{y:i}Then, it happened.

{y:i}The Canadian-based
{y:i}John Brown Underground...

{y:i}or the J.B. U... a splinter group
{y:i}of the N.A.A.C. P...

{y:i}waged what they called
{y:i}"a war against slavery."

{y:i}While the N.A.A.C.P.
{y:i}Practiced non-violence,

{y:i}the J.B.U. Employed
{y:i}any means necessary.

The J.B.U. Were terrorists,
pure and simple,

bent on the destruction of
the nation of the Confederacy.

What is terrorism to one
is patriotism to another.

{y:i}Sent Ambassador Hamish Bond

{y:i}to visit Canadian Prime Minister
{y:i}Louis S. Saint Laurent

{y:i}of the Liberal Party.

{y:i}Bond demanded the extradition
{y:i}of all members of the J.B.U.

{y:i}Prime Minster Saint Laurent refused.

Canadian abolitionism had now
become the major threat

to the Confederate way of life.

They just had to be stopped.

The "abbie" wants to make the world
a race of mulattos...

half-mule, half-horse.

Remain pure, friends.

Beware of the abolitionists'

Beware of the abolitionists'

Keep your eyes open.

Your neighbor...
could be an abbie.



What are you doing
down here in the basement...

in the dark?

You're not the same anymore.

I don't know you, honey.

You're so... cold and distant.

Do you still love me?

That's not it.

Then are you sick, dear?
Do we need to see a doctor?

I don't know what to do!
Talk to me!

What is there to say?

I found these in your room.

"The Confessions of Nat Turner."

"The Life and Times
of Frederick Douglass."

"Uncle Tom's Cabin."

What are you doing with these?!

If you must know, I read them.

I'm an abolitionist.


NEWSCASTER: "To safeguard"
{y:i}against Red Canadian aggression,

{y:i}the C.S.A. Constructed a wall

{y:i}spanning the entire length
{y:i}of the Canadian border.

NARRATOR: "Called the Cotton Curtain,"
{y:i}it is fortified and impregnable.

{y:i}Radio Free Confederacy sends
{y:i}broadcasts over the wall every day

{y:i}with the hope that slaves
{y:i}will hear the transmissions

{y:i}and gain information
{y:i}about their lives.

{y:i}The triumph of the Cotton Curtain

{y:i}would serve to increase
{y:i}violent attacks against the C.S.A.

(sirens blare)

(tires squeal)

FAUNTROY V: "I was seven years old"
{y:i}when Dad was assassinated.

{y:i}Well, the president, he launched
{y:i}air strikes against Canada, but...

I have to be honest with you, it...

it doesn't really ease the pain
in losing a father.

{y:i}After America's neutrality

{y:i}during the Second World War
{y:i}in Europe,

{y:i}Britain and France
{y:i}joined other summit nations

{y:i}in calling for sanctions
{y:i}against the C.S.

JOHNSON: The summit nations
imposed a world embargo

against the Confederate States.

Any notion of a war with Canada
was dismissed.

The C.S. Retreated into isolation.
There was rationing.

Only the nation of South Africa
remained a loyal ally.

The success of the embargo

would lead many to
quietly question, "Is it worth it?"

{y:i}Fall out here...

{y:i}means more than
{y:i}corralling a young buck.

{y:i}It's a time of crisp, clean
{y:i}morning air

{y:i}and the sound
{y:i}of a thundering stampede.

{y:i}It's a time when horses
{y:i}come down from the high pasture

{y:i}and a man prepares
{y:i}for another tough winter.

{y:i}It's time...

{y:i}for a Niggerhair.

The candidates
need no introduction.

The Democratic candidate,
Vice President Richard M. Nixon

and the Republican candidate,
Senator John F. Kennedy.

And now for the first opening statement
by Senator John F. Kennedy.

In the election of 1960,
and with the world around us,

the question is whether the world will exist
half-slave or half-free,

whether it will move
in the direction of freedom,

in the direction of the road
that we are taking,

or whether it will move
in the direction of slavery.

If we do well here,
if we meet our obligations,

if we're moving ahead,

then I think freedom will be
secure around the world.

If we fail, then freedom fails.

It was what many had predicted
of an Irish Catholic,

and a Northerner, to boot.

Critics had called Kennedy
a black Republican, obviously,

bringing up the image
of Abraham Lincoln

and the abolitionists of the past.

Slaves knew Kennedy
was sympathetic to their plight.

He could not directly come out
and advocate its end,

but everyone knew that
if the opportunity arose,

Kennedy would emancipate.

{y:i}It was 1960.

{y:i}President-elect Kennedy,

{y:i}the youngest leader
{y:i}in American history

{y:i}and the first president from the North
{y:i}since the war of Northern aggression,

{y:i}would dramatically alter
{y:i}the direction of the country...

{y:i}what Kennedy termed
{y:i}a New Frontier.

Polls indicated that only 29o/o of
the population now favored slavery,

the lowest figures ever.

Kennedy, young, intelligent,
and too clever by half,

symbolized this.

He had skillfully managed to put
a handsome face on emancipation.

{y:i}However, Kennedy,

{y:i}distracted by
{y:i}the cold war with Canada

{y:i}and an expansionist campaign
{y:i}in Southeast Asia,

{y:i}had little time to address the
{y:i}revolutionary social changes at home.

Woman now demanded an end
to the sexual relations

between their master husbands
and their female slaves.

For generations,
they had tolerated these unions

and the slave children
they produced.

Fully fifty years after the efforts
of Susan B. Anthony,

women now wanted control
over their lives.

We are not frail, simple-minded pets!

We are more... much, much more.

We demand the right to be women...

women with a future,
women with the vote.

{y:i}Confederate teenagers

{y:i}were being influenced by
{y:i}the beat of Negro rock 'n' roll

{y:i}blasting across the Cotton Curtain
{y:i}from Canada.

{y:i}Free to express themselves,

{y:i}former slaves
{y:i}enriched Canadian culture.

{y:i}Performers like Elvis Presley
{y:i}imitated black artists

{y:i}and were censored and arrested.

MAN: This Elvis Presley
and this Canadian

rock 'n' roll music

threatens to deflower
every pure white child

in this great country of ours.

NARRATOR: "Many, like Presley,"
{y:i}took their talents north

{y:i}and became stars in Canada.

{y:i}Canadian writers like Richard Wright
{y:i}and James Baldwin

{y:i}created masterworks of literature.

The ban on race music,
literature, and art

stifled American creativity.

Prohibition of certain abolitionist
and Negro-inspired art

left Confederate culture void
and without conscience.

American art never evolved beyond
government-inspired propaganda.

NARRATOR: "Negroes,"
{y:i}afforded equal education,

{y:i}excelled in all areas
{y:i}of Canadian life.

{y:i}In the world of sports,

{y:i}they helped Canada to consistently
{y:i}defeat America in the Olympic Games,

{y:i}winning hundreds of gold medals.

{y:i}After seeing great black athletes
{y:i}in the Olympics,

{y:i}some Confederates pondered
{y:i}the inclusion of slaves in sport.

{y:i}In the first annual C.S.F.L.
{y:i}Championship game,

{y:i}two all-white teams,

{y:i}the Washington Indians
{y:i}and the New York Niggers,

{y:i}illustrated the call to break
{y:i}the color barrier and emancipate.

{y:i}One hundred years ago today,

{y:i}Abraham Lincoln signed
{y:i}the Emancipation Proclamation.

{y:i}He thereby began the process
{y:i}to fulfill finally

{y:i}the promises of
{y:i}the Declaration of Independence.

{y:i}The century since has seen
{y:i}the struggle to convert freedom

{y:i}from rhetoric to reality.

{y:i}It has been in many respects
{y:i}a somber story,

{y:i}and the task is not finished.

{y:i}Much remains to be done to eradicate
{y:i}the evil of human slavery.

{y:i}The Proclamation must be regarded
{y:i}not as an end, but a beginning.

{y:i}In giving freedom to the slave,
{y:i}we assure freedom to the free.

{y:i}In giving rights to others
{y:i}which belong to them,

{y:i}we give rights to ourselves
{y:i}and to our country.

The president's assassination

drained the lifeblood
from the entire nation.

The belief some white citizens had
for a new America was gone,

women would not get the vote,

the hope slaves had for their freedom
exploded into rage.

{y:i}Two major slave rebellions,

{y:i}one in the Los Angeles, California,
{y:i}section of Watts

{y:i}and the other in Newark, New Jersey,

{y:i}caused strong but divided reactions
{y:i}from Confederate lawmakers.

MAN: "In the wake of our late president,"
{y:i}our nation is at a crossroads.

We must ask the question:
Is slaveocracy the only way?

Like most owners,

I love my servants,
and hate when I have to punish them.

My wife and my children hate it.

The young people of this country
hate it.

It is time for change.

We have to stop pussyfooting around!
We have a war going on in Vietnam

and another one erupting
right here in our own country.

Unless we plan on losing
both these wars,

we better stop crying
for these gooks and these darkies

and lay the hammer down!

We have never lost a war,

and by God,
I'm not about to lose this one!

{y:i}By the mid-1970s,

{y:i}the social revolution
{y:i}had been crushed.

{y:i}Most of the opposition leaders
{y:i}fled the country,

{y:i}went into hiding,
{y:i}or were killed.

The nation seemed to be caught up
in some kind of malaise.

Many feared that we were
crumbling from within

and that the best years
of the Confederate States of America

were behind us.

This is Newsbreak.
I'm Jeb Boone.

Confederate Express,
the nation's leading shipper,

issued a warning today that
house servants are using the service

to, in their words,
"overnight themselves to freedom."

There was this one fella
shipped his whole family,

wife and two kids, up north in a box
labeled "home entertainment center."

Another big tip: Check for air holes.

Back after this.


{y:i}are the faces...

{y:i}of Contrari.

{y:i}With Contrari,

{y:i}one little blue pill

{y:i}gives all-day control.

{y:i}Side effects may include
{y:i}vomiting, shortness of breath,

{y:i}nausea, blurred vision,
{y:i}liver and kidney problems,

{y:i}constipation, and anal bleeding.

{y:i}Contrari has been known
{y:i}to cause heart attack

{y:i}in some old uncles.

{y:i}Contrari is not meant
{y:i}for servants who are nursing

{y:i}or about to drop a litter.

{y:i}Ask your veterinarian
{y:i}about Contrari today.

Officials in Washington suggested
charges may be filed

following several controversial errors
in the Department of Racial Identity.

The watchdog group Proven White

charged that DNA mistakes
are commonplace

and that many people
don't know who they are.

The search for Big Sam
expanded to the Chicago area today.

The runaway remains number one
on the C.B.I.'s most wanted list.

A spokesmen for the bureau indicated
of all the crimes over two years old,

Big Sam is still believed
the J.B.U. Mastermind

behind the now-infamous
"One Drop" scandal.

And on a program note,
be sure to stay tuned

for the live death row execution
of Floyd Ray Hubbard.

Now, that's at 12:00,
11:00 Central.

See you then.

NARRATOR: "After sponsoring"
{y:i}the popular Family Values Act,

"John Ambrose Fauntroy V

{y:i}was selected to head
{y:i}the Commerce Department.

{y:i}He would steer
{y:i}the Family Values Initiative.

{y:i}Fauntroy utilized
{y:i}popular religious leaders

{y:i}in a series of infomercials

{y:i}answering the nation's
{y:i}difficult moral questions.

MAN: "Ephesians,"
{y:i}chapter six, verse five.

(mans reads scripture)


{y:i}Fauntroy brought slave training

{y:i}out of the dark ages,

{y:i}utilizing the latest
{y:i}multi-media technology.

Ike's gonna run off.


Sho' is. He runnin' tonight.

Delilah has just learned
that lke is planning to escape.

Escape attempts are costly
and disruptive.

How will Delilah handle it?

Doesn't he know
how good we have it here?

Good food, a roof over our heads,

and a kind master.

Don't be afraid to learn more.

Be "Massa's" ear.

Is he still talkin' that abolition talk?

Bingo. Delilah has discovered
that lke's mind ain't right.

Critical information.

Delilah's next move?
Go tell it.

Yes, suh, Master.
Ike is plannin' to run off tonight.

I thought you should know.

Thank you, Delilah.

I'm glad you shared
this information with me.

You know, Delilah,
you are a good one.

Like Delilah, you too
can "be a good one."

{y:i}Fauntroy's new agencies

{y:i}were designed to monitor
{y:i}and correct the American fabric.

When he stays out all night
or gives you a fatherly smack,

He's the master of the house.

And, as such,

he will always exercise his will
with fairness and truthfulness.

I'm here to speak to you about
an important medical problem.

Are you now
or have you ever been

a homosexual?

And we've encouraged Hollywood
to create more shows like

"That's My Boy"...
you can't help but laugh at Cleofus.

VOICEOVER: "Follow the antics"
{y:i}of America's favorite jigaboo, Cleofus,

{y:i}as he deals with
{y:i}the challenge of freedom

{y:i}on "That's My Boy"
{y:i}weeknights at 6:30.

That's just me, boss!

That's my boy.

Well, look at
the Slave Shopping Network.

{y:i}The Slave Shopping Network alone
{y:i}has done wonders

{y:i}to bring back the joys
{y:i}of Negro ownership.

Let's talk slaves.

For the next hour
I am here with Joyce,

and she has brought us
some of the most incredible servants

- to pick from today.
- That's right, Paula.

We have forty
extraordinary Negroes

right off the tarmac,
waiting for you.

And I know one of them's just right
for you and your home.

So, let's start with Jupiter
and his family.

Now, Joyce, you say that
Jupiter's a buck for the '90s.

That's right, Paula.
Versatility is the key with Jupiter.

He's the perfect slave
for home, office, or industry.

He's healthy, adaptable,
and reliable.

Oh, and what about
our gal Prissy?

Oh, what a find!

Well-mannered, loyal,
smart, but not uppity.

Oh, and what a litter
of pick-a-ninnies she's had!

Aren't those the two
the cutest little things you ever saw?

They would be so helpful
around the yard

or with dinner parties!

Now, as with all SSN products,

we can either
break up Jupiter's family for you,

or you can have them as a set!

So, let the bidding begin!

{y:i}A new generation of young people

are excited now
about owning Negroes.

The buying, trading, and selling
of servants on the Internet

has pumped over $500 million
into the economy.

Behind pornography,
it's the top-selling item on the Net.

The '80s and the early '90s
were more than a nostalgia trip.

We finally put
that tragic decade of self-doubt,

the 1960s, behind us.

I swear I never had seen
so many flags and yellow ribbons

as when our boys came home victorious
from the Persian Gulf.

We really whipped those A-rabs.

We won. That was enough.

And once again we loved ourselves.

FAUNTROY V: When this country
was the United States of America...

slaves built this capitol.


we preserve it.

{y:i}Reports soon surfaced

{y:i}Fauntroy would run for
{y:i}the Democratic presidential nomination.

Oh, Fauntroy


Fauntroy is the man

{y:i}This is John Ambrose Fauntroy,

{y:i}and I approved this message.

NARRATOR: "After numerous"
{y:i}requests to the State Department,

{y:i}Senator Fauntroy intervened
{y:i}and personally arranged

{y:i}for an interview with a slave
{y:i}living in the C.S.

{y:i}He told us,
{y:i}"We have nothing to hide."

- Right, right.
- Uh... no contact.

NARRATOR: "Unfortunately,"
{y:i}the slaves we were offered

{y:i}had clearly received training
{y:i}for the interview,

{y:i}corrupting any natural response
{y:i}to our questions

{y:i}and rendering their responses


{y:i}through clandestine means
{y:i}we received a note.

GUARD: No contact.

{y:i}This note would change the course
{y:i}of American history.

{y:i}The note instructed us
{y:i}to meet our source

{y:i}on a country estate
{y:i}in rural Virginia.

{y:i}The note was simply signed
{y:i}"John Brown."

Get out and follow me.

All right, let's go.

(door slams shut)


Master Fauntroy...
gonna kill me, sure as shootin'.

But I don't care no more.

- I got to say this.
- What do you have to say?

Master Fauntroy...

His family...

and my family...

- What?
- See, a long while back,

my great-great-grandmammy...

and his great-granddaddy,

you know.

I don't understand.

Me and... me and Fauntroy...
we kin.


How? Fauntroy's "white."

Just 'cause he look white
don't mean he "all" white.

See, years ago,
when all this started...

they took the light ones
into the Fauntroy family

and "made" 'em white.

Us dark ones got cast out...

left for niggers.

He got the jungle blood.

Believe me, he got
the jungle blood in him.

And he know it, too.

{y:i}Following the release of that tape,

{y:i}Fauntroy held a news conference

{y:i}to respond to the charges

These accusations
leveled against me...

by a slave, no less...
are false.

My great-granddaddy did not have
sexual relations with that woman!

I am one hundred percent

One hundred percent.

REPORTER: Will you
submit to a DNA test?

No. No, I will not be subjected
to such treatment.

Nor will I allow my family
to be subjected to such ridicule.

REPORTER: Do you believe
the Republican Party

arranged for the slave
to make these allegations?


Look, this darkie is obviously
being used in an attempt

to derail my campaign.

Now, let me just say this.

The American people know
that John Ambrose Fauntroy

has their best interests in mind.

They know me.
They know my family.

These dirty tricks
will "not" stop our message.

We will win in November!

are circulating

that you may be called before
the House Committee on Racial Identity.

If subpoenaed,
will you appear?

Well, I, uh...

I'll just cross that bridge
when l... when I come to it.

Thank you.

{y:i}The racial allegation against Fauntroy

{y:i}would cost him the election
{y:i}in November.

{y:i}On December 12th,
"the body of John Ambrose Fauntroy V

{y:i}was found in the grounds
{y:i}of his suburban Virginia estate.

{y:i}The coroner attributed his death
{y:i}to a self-inflicted gunshot wound

{y:i}to the head.

{y:i}DNA test results ordered by
{y:i}the House Committee on Racial Identity

{y:i}were released days later.

{y:i}The results proved negative.

I only wish that

our dear family friend
Chancellor Hitler

had lived to see how he
empowered his country.

Imagine... an America

where everyone has the same

deep, abiding pride
of Aryan birth.

I want to reclaim that heritage.

With America's help, we can.

No slavery in history

has been as devastating
as chattel slavery in the Americas.

Nowhere else were slaves taught

that they were not part
of the human family.

This has wounded the African
as nothing else could.

It still haunts slaves,
and former slaves, today.

It's important to remember
that our fond attachment to slavery

is not an economic necessity.

In fact, it's always been detrimental
to the Confederate economy

to hold slaves.

Yet slavery, like nothing else,
is what defines us,

shapes us as a people,
as a nation.

Owning a slave is
a constant reminder of who you are.

It strengthens our role
and responsibility

to be a leader in our homes,
in our families

and in our communities,

and to provide the leadership
as only a white man could hold

in the most powerful nation
in the world.

I pledge allegiance

to the flag of
the Confederate States of America,

and to the republic for which it stands,

one nation under God,


with liberty and justice
for all white people.


("Cops" theme song parody

We are a friendly people

We value God's great plan

Though some say

Our ways are wrong

Washington and Davis

They made our empire grand

Others would destroy it

But Fauntroy has the plan

Oh, Fauntroy is the man

Fauntroy is the man

He can bring us back together

Protect our land

Oh, Fauntroy is the man

Fauntroy is the man

Yes, Fauntroy is the man

We are a happy people

Our darkies love us, too

From Maine to Santiago

And Long Island full of Jews

His father died to save us

His son is forged in fire

He'll crush the evildoers

And keep us strong and pure

Oh, Fauntroy is the man

Fauntroy is the man

He can bring us back together

Protect our land

A need for strength
is in demand

A guiding light upon our man

Don't let the evildoers

Destroy our life

Fauntroy offers hope and trust

He'll secure a future
safe and just

A patriot to protect us
from all strife

Oh, Fauntroy


Fauntroy is our man

Our man