Buster's World (1984) - full transcript

Buster's World

Hush, hush, hush now, the sun wakes up

Night-time goblins are all gone now

They all disappeared in a coffee cup,

and no-one really knows how.

It howls and howls in the distance,

but the world keeps turning round,

and clowns keep on dancing
and people are dying of laughter

and the birds are chirping.

Oh, Buster

Oh, Buster



Oh, Buster

He looks at the stars at night

While dreaming of wonder and delight.

Oh, Buster

Oh, Buster

As if living in a fairy tale,

he rides off on a monster.

While dreaming of wonder and delight.

I carry my burden with a song, that is how,

I carry my burden

like a shepherd lad...

my innocent... charges think they are...
very protected.

I walk under skies that are blue

and, at night, rest beneath the moon.



Then my, my heart sings with joy,

the, in the morning, morning dew.

Thank you, Buster.

It's time for us to go to the gym.

Children, after all it's not every day
that our principal has a silver jubilee.

So it has to be a big surprise for him.
And that means we tip-toe down the stairs.

Tip-toe, it that clear?
Tip-toe.

Yes, Stig Ole?

What will happen if the principal
gets there early?

He's in his office right now. And he won't
be expected to come to the gym until 10.

He'll be surprised, I think.
Now come on.

Quietly! Quietly!
Tip-toe so he won't hear us.

Buster, we're going just in our socks,
so leave your shoes here.

- Is everyone ready?
- Yeah!

Right, pay attention.

The instant that door starts to open,
you're going to hear a chord on the piano,

and you'll begin the song.
Do not scream, sing.

You can sound very sweet,
when you try.

I carry my burden with a smile...

Buster, where on earth have you been?

Everything's all right now.
I took care of the problem.

He almost arrived too early.

I carry my burden with a smile...

- What is this? Sabotage?
- Somebody's yelling up in the corridor.

- Oh, come on? It's impossible!
- Listen for yourself.

Go upstairs and find out.

Is there anybody out there? Open the door!
Let me out! Hey, hey!

A terrible mistake! Come along to
gym, there's a surprise for you there.

Go and ask him about it.

Buster?

Well, is was just...
...if he came too early.

- Hey, Ingeborg. Why aren't you in school?
- Because of Lars.

What happened?

Lars has been after me all day.
He likes to tease me because of my leg.

He teases you, huh? Call him.
Call him!

- What should I say?
- Shout: Come here you stinky skunkhead!

Come here you stinky skunkhead, right?

It'll make him mad.
Then I'll take care of him.

Lars! Lars! Come here you skunk...

- Stinky skunkhead!
- Stinky skunkhead!

- I can hear the engine on his bike.
- Engine? What the hell do you mean?

- This boy's old enough to drive a car?
- One of his friends said he's 16.

- What did you call me?
- Buster! - You come over here.

He did not! You understand that
it is Lars you're talking to?

You're crazy! Come on!

Don't you ever call me names!
You got that?

You'll never do it again?
Now hop home, you ugly little thing.

Ingeborg!
Do you know where that bully hangs out?

He's gonna get it.
Just you wait!

Mallorca. Mallorca.

Torremolinos.
How's that Ingeborg?

Lake Garda... Seven days half board
in Harz.

Harz... I remember.
Yes, I was there.

- A week in Attens with breakfast.
- It's called Athens!

Athens. Yes. The Acropolis. Ankara.
Small taverns...

- The sky so blue...
- Have you got a card to top it?

Nah.

I'm going to have to take a card.

A two!
Lucky draw.

Gambia - full board. That's where you
can live on coconuts with stardust.

Welcome to the tropical party.
You can live on fresh air and sunshine.

Enjoy the music and dancing. Listen to
hungry lions roaring in the jungle,

sending cold shivers up your spine,
I'll tell you...

Take the tray up to Mrs Larsen, Buster.

Mrs Larsen?

Mrs Larsen, your food!

Reliable errand boy wanted.

- Have you ridden a delivery bike before?
- Oh, yes. Many times.

Well.

- Tell me you name.
- Buster.

- Buster? Is that your real name?
- Buster Oregon Mortensen.

- Buster what?
- Oregon. Mor - ten - sen.

After my grandfather. The Great Oregon.
He could lift a 200 kg ball.

He's dead now. He jumped from
the roof of the nursing home.

Really. We'll give you a try
and see if you work out.

The groceries are already loaded.
The change is in here.

The bike is around the back.
The address is in the box.

Go ahead now, get going.

That's no way to ride a bike!

Move! You stupid mutt! Shoo!

- Nero, leave him be, boy don't move.
- Did you hear? Stupid dog!

The dog is man's best friend.

Aren't there two cases in my order?

There are.

Just a minute.

- You're rather young for an errand boy.
- Not really. Just small for my age.

- I suppose you're all they can get.
- Yeah, they're scraping the bottom.

- What's that?
- It looks like... light beer.

I can see that. But I ordered medium.

- Medium?
- I'm afraid you'll have to take them back.

- Do you have the bill with you?
- Hold on. It's right here, in the pouch.

I don't plan to tip anybody for
delivering the wrong groceries.

Hey. What are you doing?

Just sniffing the air.

It smells different around here.
Did you notice that?

You could be right.

I'm an expert smeller.
And I know what I like.

I've traveled a lot.

This shirt is from Hawaii. A gift from
my father when we were there together.

- What is your name?
- Buster. Buster Oregon Mortensen.

- It's time to continue, Joanna.
- I'd better go in now.

I'll probably see you some other day.
Adieu.

Adieu.

Adieu.

Adieu.

- 20 points!
- And ended up in Division 2.

Watch it!

- Are you sure this isn't dangerous?
- Not at all, Ingeborg. Just wait here!

So just watch us, huh?

So don't you think I'm right?
The first division, that's us, right?

OK, if you want to leave
it up to a girl.

I didn't do it. I'll just say I broke
my big toe or something.

OK, Ingebor.
It's up to you to do your act. But hurry.

Lars! Lars!

You're a real dumb... pimply...
er... dog...

If it isn't you!

Dumb pimply dogfaced scum!

I heard, you nasty little gimp!
And now you're gonna get it!

Get out! And stay out until
you've cooled off!

Ah ha, I guess you two couldn't
behave yourselves, huh?

And now, the Great
Buster Oregon Mortensen

will pull my intestines out of my mouth.
In total there are 16.5 metres.

I can feel them coming! Watch out!

- What are you doing, Buster Mortensen?
- He's pulling his intestines out.

- I was just...
- Better come with me to my office.

Sit down.

Now would you like to take that
roll of paper out of your mouth.

If you have any more paper in your mouth,
I think you might like to get rid of it now

- Coffee?
- Not now.

No, thank you.

Go right ahead.

- Go right ahead.
- Hello! Good day, good day Mr From.

No, of course not. That was a
misunderstanding, a misunderstanding.

Of course, cover it with asphalt,
as you say.

Oh yes, definitely. It has to be done.
It's an excellent idea.

I, er, I've been thinking more
about, er... Yes, to put it up.

Sorry, one of my students
was taking an egg from his mouth.

Out!

Out!

Out!

Er, from me. Yes, yes, I'll see
that the work order goes out today.

I never got to show the
principal my newest trick.

Certainly, my secretary's doing
the papers now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yes, we can settle everything then.

Of course. Bye for now.
Aha, aha, yeah

Mrs. Sj?mod! Mrs. Sj?mod!

I want him out!
Out!

Hi, Stig-Ole!

- Have you got a new bike?
- New, with handbrakes.

Neat, huh?

Yes, but it's quite difficult to ride.
With the handlebar. You have to practice.

A little bird said the principal gave
it you to today, Buster. Did he?

We just talked a little about the future.
That's all.

- Talk, are you kidding?
- No, I'm not a kidder.

- Do you want to be a delivery boy when
you're a man? - It's not easy...

- It takes a lot of strong muscles.
- Oh, it looks easy, Buster.

Nope, delivering takes a lot of talent.

And not everyone can do it either.
Take this bike, for example.

- The rider needs strong arms.
- It's easy for me.

Anyone can get hired as a delivery boy.

The boy has to handle a lot of beer crates,
and then there's the money pouch.

- Money pouch?
- Right here. To make change.

- The hard part is going through a gate.
- A gate?

Bringing what's ordered
and not making mistakes.

If you can do it, I'll find it easy.

- Put down the crate.
- The lady's waiting inside for it.

I said put down the crate.

Give me the money pouch.

- Are you sure you can handle it?
- You wait here!

Nero! Nero!

Nero! Heel!

That was awful.
You shouldn't get him so excited.

The dog is a man's best friend.

Here you have 25 cents.
Now scurry off with you!

Let's go! Running on the spot!

One! Two! Three! Four!
One! Two! Three!

Knees all the way up to your chin!
Come on!

One! Two!

What the hell are you doing, Mortensen?

- Just warming up!
- Warming up?

That's not how you do it.
Look! Just as I do!

Do it my way and you'll
become a great athlete.

Now we're going to choose teams.
Walter, come here!

- Which side am I on?
- Mine. You can play on my team.

The favourites. O.K. me, get ready
for the great European cup final!

Come on, men! Kurt is a keeper!
Egon and Leo are in the midfield!

Come on! On the your mark!
Buster is sweeper!

- What did he say I was?
- No idea. Play what you feel like.

What team do you want to be?

- Br?nsh?j!
- Good. We're Liverpool.

- Our side kicks off. - No!
- No protesting. I'm the referee.

Are you ready for the game or not?

Get in position.

Yeah, come on pass! Pass the ball!
I'm open! Pass it!

Pass to Buster!

Pass it! I'm in the clear!
Pass it to me!

You? Buster, you idiot, you're not
supposed to take the ball from me.

You're supposed to be protecting me.
We're on the same side. Blockhead!

Obstruction!
The goal is invalid!

- Buster's on your side!
- That's an obstruction!

- Just because we had a goal. Cheat!
- No! Obstruction, the call stands!

- Ahh, bull.
- What was that? Walter, come here!

Buster, what are you doing?
Leave that machine there.

Come here!
I'll teach you how to play football.

Come here.

I'll teach you how to do it on the pitch!
Now you'll see how to dribble!

Now, I want you to try and
get the ball away from me.

The lightning swift Kevin Keegan!
Small stylish dribbling from your hips!

So yes! Small tricks! Now try to
take the ball from me! Ah, damn it!

- Are you coming back again?
- Of course I am, Buster.

But Buster,

keep conjuring, keep making magic,
no matter what happens.

This was Grandfather's third arm.

How does it work?

I'll show you.

Ladies and gentlemen! A world sensation!
The man with the three arms!

Do you think anybody will believe it?

If you pratice some more with it.

Lars, you big idiot! You are
unbelievably stupid, Lars!

Wait till I get hold of you then
I'll hit you so hard you

be out for three week! Was it fun
flying over your motorbike handlebars?

God, how stupid you looked when
you landed in the pram!

You're a big super idiot!

Yes, that's was you are. It's just a shame
that you are so insanely stupid.

If I ever get a hold of you,
I'll give you a beating!

You'd be sorry, all right!

- Good evening, Buster.
- Hi Lars.

- Where's your stupid pointed hat?
- I guess I left it at home.

Lars.

How's your gimpy little sister?

- Come on, Lars. I'm frozen.
- She's frozen.

None of your business.
You little disgusting creep.

How can a normal person pull a stunt
like you did? But you're not normal.

How could anyone normal tie a
clothes line to a bike? Why'd you do it?

- I had nothing else.
- What you do mean you had nothing else?

- I couldn't find a rope a home.
- I'll give you a rope!

You're gonna pay for this
Buster Mortensen! I'll make sure.

Buster?

I didn't hit you that hard! Buster!
His arm's falling off!

What should we do? Buster!
His arm's falling off!

I didn't mean to, Buster!
Sorry!

What should we do?

Buster!

It's alright, Lars.
It's a fake arm.

I'll skin you alive, Buster Mortensen!

Ingeborg.
Would you like to hear a true story?

- Can you make it short?
- It'll be nice and short.

Let's see... Once upon a time
there was a girl. In Russia.

She had a very stiff legs.
She couldn't bend at all.

And then one day she told her mother
she wanted to be a famous dancer.

Her mother said it was
out of the question,

and she gave her a tea towel,
because they were doing the dishes.

In the evening, a little angel
came in through her window...

- As she sat there dreaming...
- That's enough.

- There's more to the story.
- Forget it.

O.K.

- Gas balloons, ladies and gentlemen!
- Paradise Balloons!

Only 6 kroner each.
Get the cheapest gas balloons!

Genuine gas balloons for sale,
ladies and gentlemen,

Only 6 kroner each.
Get the cheapest gas balloons!

But don't let go, or it
will fly into the sky!

Try our gas balloons!

- Have you seen Buster anywhere?
- Yes, he was just here.

- Have you seen Buster?
- Nah!

Step right up, step right up to
the children's pitching range!

Try your luck, hit the round head.
Six balls per customer!

Step right up and test your skill!

Where are you doing?

Step right up to the
children's pitching range.

Try your luck! Hit this ugly face,
six balls five kroner!

Lars is here.

Lars is here.

Step right up to the children's pitching
range. Try your luck. Six balls for...

Hi, Buster.

- If you don't miss, I'll pay Lars.
- You'll pay. He's gonna get it.

What the hell are you doing?

You think you're so brave hitting
someone smaller? Make's you feel big?

I'll show you what it's like to
be beaten by someone bigger!

Are you out of your little mind?
Not so funny now, is it?

I don't understand what made you do it?

I earned ten kroner thirty-five.

When do you get off?

In about half an hour.

Then I'll treat you to
chocolate and cookies.

O.K.

- Let me introduce you to the reverend
and his wife. - Thank you.

- Hi.
- Hi. Oh, you are also at the party?

I'm not just a guest.
I'm working here.

- At the pitching range. The pay is great.
- Why do you have cotton in your nose?

It's just a little padding from
a fight, you see.

Would you like some cake and hot
chocolate? I have money, if you say yes.

I'd like that.

Two hot chocolates.

And... a small cake.

There you are.
The cake is for you.

Thanks. I remember your name.
It's Buster.

- Buster Oregon Mortensen.
- My name is Joanna.

Joanna.

Joanna.
Someone would like a word with you.

Hi. You already got it?

- Is the cake for me?
- What? Yes, you might as well eat it.

Buster?

Buster!

Mummy says to come down.

- What is it?
- Get dressed and come down.

There you are Buster.

We'll go in a minute.

- Does he have to go along? - I won't
see her alone, and you won't come.

No. I, er...

- There's the taxi. Are you ready?
- But where are we going?

- They called from the hospital.
- It's Mrs Larsen.

She's unconscious. But they think she
might wake up for a minute.

Come.

Are you going in like that?

Your shirt's not even clean.
And that crazy hat!

I'm sorry.

Maybe you'd better
leave that in your pocket.

Come on.

Mrs Larsen died an hour
ago in her sleep.

Goodbye, Mrs Larsen.

Take care.

So there you are. I'd started to think
you'd never show up again.

What is it?

Mrs Larsen died last night.

- Do you want one of these?
- No thanks. But thanks anyway.

Here.

- Thank you.
- Don't think you get one every day.

It's expense enough having
you around as it is.

And with the Mrs running to the
hairdresser's twice a week.

And she leaves me to handle the store.
150 kroner for a couple of curls.

- I'd better get started.
- No, wait a second. Sit down.

You told me you can do magic tricks?

Now watch this trick.

A regular, ordinary handkerchief.
And here a match, see?

Inside the handkerchief, fold it,
and wrap it up.

Now you can feel it's still in there.
It is, right?

I want you to break it. That's it.
You're sure it's broken?

Now watch. There you go. And
we take out the match, good as new.

And so... is it whole again.
How about that?

I'm glad to see that trick
again, Mr. Olsen. It is good.

See trick again? What do you mean by that?

- I was very young the last time I saw it.
- How young?

I was about five when my father taught
me. There's an extra match in the hem.

There's just one delivery today.
18 B?ckaskog Road.

18, that's where Joanna lives!

- And do you have the bill?
- The bill? It's here in the money pouch.

- It's Buster.
- But he's a delivery boy.

Buster Oregon Mortensen.

- Can he come to the party on Saturday?
- To the party? - Yes, to the party.

Joanna will play a concert piece
on the piano for some of our friends.

- I play sometimes.
- Really?

- Yes, so there.
- Can't he come? It'd be such fun.

- Well, then he may come after lunch.
- I'll see you then.

O.K. See you Saturday.
Goodbye, till then.

Better say your prayers, Ingeborg.

Go ahead!

Oh, Buster!

Your bath is ready.

O.K.

This really clears the air!

You won't have any problems
with mosquitos.

- Mosquito Problems?
- Because you stink.

You look pretty good, Buster.

Joanna.

Please be seated.

So I think it's time for Joanna to give
us a demostration of her musical talent.

It's not every day that one
is privileged to be present at

the debut of a brilliant pianist.

I don't wish to make a speech, but...

Thirty barrels of tuna fish,
rusty nails and screws!

Forty-four fat oil sheiks
all shivering in their shoes!

Christmas turkey with goosebumps!
Peck water without sound!

Better watch out,
for here's Buster!

...Without trying to compare her to
another child prodigy who started early

I think it's safe to say there has been
no-one in Mozart's class until today.

Not since little Wolfgang has anyone
come along of such caliber.

Today I proudly share with you
on this historic occasion,

ladies and gentlemen - Joanna!

What is it?

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here.
It's only magic so remain calm.

A trick!
As you can see.

- Buster!
- That's me! Buster Oregon Mortensen!

- His grandfather was a human cannonball
in Husum. - It's true!

Dear old grandfather was fired from
job, he became a human cannonball

one Tuesday he was shot so high that
he had to take a packed lunch.

He had a dog that could count
to seven and wiggle his ears.

Ladies and gentlemen, I will
now show you an amazing trick.

If... gentleman with the beautiful blue tie
would like to come here a moment.

- Actually I came here to listen...
- What is your name?

- Dienst. Herrgott Dienst.
- O.K. Herrgott, lean over.

Now take off your tie.

I was taught this by the great Osmann,
who still conjures using black magic.

This tie came from an expensive
shop in the Tyrol.

Listen to the magic sounds of my magic.

Now put your hand in here Herrgott.

Ladies and gentlemen - Buster
Oregon Mortensen!

May I borrow your watch?

I need a volunteer.

Perhaps the lady over there?

- I'm not very good at magic tricks.
- Do not be nervous. What is your name?

Viola Elgard Lischenstein.
You can call me Stella.

O.K. Stella. Take this hammer!

And now with the hammer,
hit the sack three times.

Again, Stella!

Hit it once again, Stella.

- It's smashed to smithereens.
- I certainly trust your magic works.

Now, I going to have to say
the secret spell to restore it.

Thirty barrels of tuna fish,
rusty nails and screws!

Forty-four fat oil sheiks
all shivering in their shoes!

Christmas turkey with goosebumps!
Peck water without sound!

Watch out!
For here comes the watch!

Did you see, Mrs Larsen? I conjured!
Life is not so bad.

As if living in a fairy tale,

he rides off on a monster.

While dreaming of wonder and delight.