Bunty Aur Babli (2005) - full transcript

Rakesh (Abhishek Bachchan) is a man of schemes, ideas, invention and restlessness. His small town begins to feel too small for his King size plans. In another part of India crinkle nosed small town girl, Vimmi (Rani Mukerji) doesn't want to become just another young marriageable girl. In her mind she is the "Miss India" that the world can't get enough of. So, they decide to fly the coup. Somewhere along their individual journeys, Rakesh and Vimmi meet. And in a moment of mistaken truth, the legend of Bunty and Babli are born. And the world gets turned on its head!. We follow the duo through caper after caper, in which they are spiritual gurus; bureaucrat and secretary, gangster and moll; business partners; hen pecked husband and pregnant wife, vagabonds and caught-in-a-downpour lovers.We watch them run rings around rajahs, power brokers, shaadi bandwallahs, millionaires, investors, leaders, ministers, elephants, explorers, hoteliers, chai boys and one very very upset policeman, DCP Dashrath Singh (Amitabh Bachchan).

This is India..

the land that glistens, shines..

..the land bedecked with
the glitter of dreams..

..beckoning you..

if you nurse a hunger,
she says, here..

you'll find what
satisfies it. Come..

rub your shoulders.
till they're blue..

with fame, wealth, power, glory..

..and your life becomes..

..a sunlit dream you
never want to wake out of

Yes, this is India.. a dream..



..that Bunty and Babli
dreamt every night of their lives

And this is the India they live in..

..an India that says..

your dreams should end
where your arms do..

and you should feel only as
much hunger as you can satisfy..

step forward..

but only when. you're in
step with the others..

float to the top but not
at the cost of anyone else

love, compassion, honesty, respect..

..are what matter most..

this too is India..

the India Bunty and Babli grew up in

but didn't feel
like they belonged to

This world we live in
has two kinds of people



One, the kind that does just
one thing all their lives and..

the kind that does..

..just about everything in one life

I didn't say that, they did and they
didn't just say it, they lived it

And how! No one ever lived life..

..like they lived
theirs and perhaps..

..no one ever will

So much excitement.. so
much adventure, so many joys..

..all in one single lifetime..

no one could have imagined
it possible, not even them.

Or then again maybe they could have

Small town cocoons
These dull afternoons..

I want to pack them up
and go away.. away..

The rains come slow
The river lies low..

The sea will carry me away

Small town cocoons
These dull afternoons..

I want to pack them up
and go away.. away..

The rains come slow
The river lies low..

The sea will carry me away

Going away, I'm going
away Oh Ram Chand re..

Dhadak'dhadak
Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak
Dhadak'dhadak Hear the whistle blow

Dhadak'dhadak
Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Call me, oh, watch me go..

Stand aside, make way for me
Those clouds are mine to hold

Burnt in black on a white sheet sky
I'll write my name, big and bold

On the street that
curves around the moon..

At the bend is where I'll stay

On the street that curves around
the moon I'll stay far, far away

Going away, I'm going
away Oh Ram Chand re..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Hear the whistle blow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Call me, oh, watch me go..

Small town cocoons
These dull afternoons

I want to pack them up
and go away.. away..

Small town cocoons
These dull afternoons..

I want to pack them up
and go away.. away..

The rains come slow
The river lies low..

The sea will carry me away

Going away, I'm going
away Oh Ram Chand re..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Hear the whistle blow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Call me, oh, watch me go..

When I ride l carry in my hair..

The cool whispers of the wind

Ride across the earth, the sky
Leave the world behind, unhinged

My forehead adorned, my jewel,

the moon I can't walk
unnoticed amidst the stars

moon I can't live
unnoticed up here with stars

Going away, I'm going
away Oh Ram Chand re..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Hear the whistle blow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak
Call me, oh, watch me go..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak

Call me, oh, watch me go..

It's not going to come.
- It will

It won't.
- It will

Boy, go down to the
tap and have your bath

Or you'll be standing at
the end of a very long line

No dearth of people
wanting to get into a line

What do you mean?
- What I mean Ma is..

this world has two kinds of people,
one, those who line up before taps..

and two, those who make themselves..

..taps so they won't
need to stand in any line

I happen to belong to the latter.
- You don't belong anywhere

You've already spent forty
rupees on this gibberish

How much more will you blow up?
- Ma, how many times do I tell you..

I'm not spending anything.
This is an investment

For fifty bucks, this shower is up
and running.. then l'll fix it..

..to the community tap and everyone's
willing to part with fifty paise..

..to bathe in a shower. If five
people use it everyday, that's 2.50

In twenty days, fifty bucks are back

That's 2.50 in profits
everyday from each shower

Stop. You're making my head spin

The problem with this Fursatganj,
talking sense sends heads spinning

Anyway, do you
remember my chit fund idea?

A finance company in Lucknow..
- I don't want to know anything!

If you don't stop now you'll
surely go to jail some day

There.. l told you it'll come

Of course it will. Why won't it?

How else will he drown his future?

Why.. oh today was your interview
for the railway job! You didn't go?

I went! Pandey'ji
called to say that..

before I recommend my
son for another interview..

..I should at least make sure

that he drags himself
there on his own two legs

I've lain my' five years
in the service on the line..

..and made him agree for
another chance tomorrow

Thank God he agreed

How does that matter?
I need to agree too

Rakesh, we're trying
to be serious here

I told him I don't want
to be a ticket collector

So what do you want to be? The
maker of failed schemes, for life?

All of Fursatganj thinks
you're a deluded Don Quixote

You want them to coin new
euphemisms for you? Everyone..

Fursatganj is packed with asses.

And all asses can do is..

..chew the cud and bear the burden.

I wasn't born to do either

Oh you'll become a
Birla-Tata-Ambani? - Why can't l be?

They didn't fall out of the sky. They
too were born here on this earth

At least they were born here.

You belong to a
different planet altogether!

Dad, don't get me started again.
I've made up my mind

I'm not going to waste my
entire life trapped in a job

Look here

I've spent thirty
five years in this job..

..You think my
life's been a total waste?

After a lifetime of service,
does the government even bother..

about your opinion?
After thirty five years of..

shuttling up and down that same train
route, does even one passenger..

from all those
thousand trips remember..

..what you look like
in your shabby coat?

When you die, will anybody
except Ma and I, shed a single tear?

Will the railways take a day off?

Dad your life means nothing.

There's no respect,
no fun, no meaning

When I walk wearing this shabby coat,
that seems to embarrass you so much..

..people stop in their
tracks to pay me their respects

Shopkeepers are up on their feet
to attend to Mr. Ticket Collector

Why? Because my poor
black cotton coat..

is untainted by ill-gotten gain

it is the mark of my esteem

Rakesh..

the interview is at 9
o'clock tomorrow morning

Get there in time. Or get lost

Find a meaning for your life wherever
you want, however you want to

Because we can't live up
to your high expectations..

we're sorry

There's something about you baby

You too

You're not half bad either

Go easy on the lipstick..

it shouldn't look too tacky.
And one thing you ought to know

A ragged skirt doesn't make you sexy

It's what's in your eyes..
like in mine.

Dear God..

my daughter has gone insane!
- If worshipping my beauty..

..is tantamount to being insane,
then I plead insanity

If craving for fame is
insane then I plead insanity

If the desire to renounce
this pigeon-hole Pankinagar..

..for the great wide
marvellous world outside is insane..

then I plead complete insanity

And you are driving me nuts.
Take off that shirt

I'm sorry, I don't believe
beauty needs cheap exposure

One tight slap and all
your beliefs will change

You've ruined all his best shirts

Ruined? These shirts will fetch
millions. There'll be grand auctions

Supermodel Vimmi's shirts! The ones
she wore when she dreamt of success

Ladies and gents, do I hear a
hundred thousand.. One.. Two.. Three!

Jassi, where's my shirt?

Right here..

What's she up to now?
- She's just fooling around..

Fooling around? Go on,
enjoy yourself..

till the time you can

What are you trying to do?
- Trying to be coy about my marriage

But doesn't seem to be
coming too naturally

Your father isn't joking. You
won't find a man like Surinder..

..even if you turn Kanpur and Lucknow
inside out. Count your blessings..

..a head clerk has
fallen into your lap that..

..too in a place like Pankinagar

Papa'ji, I think..
I'll run away from home

Listen to her!

I kept telling you we
shouldn't allow cable tv in her room

All day-and-nights she's whispering
to those naked witches on her walls

And now she even wants to run away.
- No harm in that, no?

You go ahead, run away

But see, it's 1 1 o'clock.
Eat lunch before running

What are you saying?
- I don't want a weight on my mind..

..my daughter running
away on an empty stomach?

I'm warning you,
I'll really run away..

..if you even think
of marrying me off..

to that.. that ten out of ten!
- Ten out of ten?

That ass always got ten out of..

..ten in every
godforsaken subject.. what a nerd

Who wouldn't want to marry such a
man? - Then why don't you? Spare me

Now get out of that outfit and
help your mother with the cooking

I've called them to lunch tomorrow

I want things to be finalised before
the evening tea hits the table

Enough. Don't make me hurt you

Why are you taking them off?
- You don't know why?

It's time you realised that you
can't live like you want to anymore..

..You'll have to adjust
to your new family's ways

You'll eat, drink, walk,
sleep the way they want you to

Look, l'm your mother. All
I want is to see you happy

Forget all of this

You're leaving this for a new world.
- It feels like I'm leaving the world

The more you think about it,
the more you'll hurt

Just do as I say.
You'll learn to be happy

Mummy, if I request Papa'ji
not to marry me offjust yet..

..will he listen?

The facial cream is on the
washbasin. Don't forget to apply it

Tea.. piping hot tea..

A little extra milk
never killed a cow. - Sir?

I said, two extra
teaspoonfuls of milk never killed..

..the calf's mother. Pour

There's more milk than water in it,
sir. - More milk, I said..

..Hey give back my glass

Catch it if you can

Your name sir? - I'm what
you'd call Raj Kapoor Tiwari

Where's your seat here, show me..

I'm not on your list..
the other one.

I talked to the
ticket checker, paid him

Oh, so you've paid him a bribe

No, no..
- Give me your address

Why do you need my address?

Do you see that berth number?

Take a look.
- Number seven

Coach FC 1, berth number 7

Always reserved for..

the Fursatganj staff
going to Lucknow. I've been..

..using this berth for 3 years

The entire railway
division knows that.

How could anyone
have given it to you?

Could you tug that
chain for me please?

You think you're the first
person to come up with this idea?

We spend eight hours a day in offices
like this, chewing tobacco, eh?

200 out of every 100 finance companies
dream of a scheme like this..

but trip over their own two feet..

..trying to find 500 investors
to chip in a thousand rupees each

The answer to my next
question is on your face but..

I'll ask you anyway.. Mister,
where are your 500 investors?

What if I tell you I have them?

Where?

Here

I've slogged it out
for a whole year, sir

I've gotten together 500 investors..

..from my town and
the neighbouring ones..

..willing to put up a thousand rupees
each in any good finance company

Where are you from?

Fursatganj

Fursatganj! Where l was once

Not one finance company..

..will waste five minutes
over a list like this one.

Talk of investments

Small town-guys have a habit of
dreaming big. No ban on dreaming..

..Indulge yourself

But next time, come up
with a scheme that..

..a thousand others haven't thought
up before you. Get it? Now excuse me

Where are you going, lady?
- To enter the contest

You can't go in.
- If l can't go inside..

..how do I take part
in the competition?

Let me in. l've come really far

I said, you can't go in.
- I say, I have to enter

Can l help you?
- Yes, myself Vimmi Saluja..

I've come to enter the contest.
- You're too late

What?
- The entries closed two days ago

You mean the contest's begun?
- No, not yet

Oh, that's a relief.
- I said, entries have closed

But the contest hasn't begun!
- I said "the-entries-have-closed"

So open up for two minutes,
I'll quickly squeeze in!

You're from some village?
Miss Quickly-squeeze-in!

This is no village fair to
squeeze-in-slip-out when-you-wish

This is the Miss lndia contest,
but what would you know?

Oh c'mon Pammi, forget it

One minute.. would I know what?
- The desire and the ability..

..to become Miss lndia are two
very different things. So go home..

..and start a beauty parlour.
- Why not beauty-parlour yourself?

Excuse me?
- Ever watched your figure?

At least ten kilos overweight..

Ever watched your figure? At
least ten kilos overweight..

..with miles-thick lipstick.
You know all about make-up.

Beauty parlour's for you

What a bitch

You bitch

-=Deathracer=-

Listen..

Yes?
- Please come with me to the toilet

It's right at the end of the
platform and it's really dark

Come

Weren't you on the
Jhansi Mail this morning?

Returning? Here on business?

Yes I came for the
Miss India contest

So how was it?

Good.. very good

I got through the first round

Good.. good.. Miss India!

And you? Here on business too?
- Oh no.. no..

Work is something I
don't really believe in

I came here for a meeting

There's a finance company here,
they want to buy my scheme

I had to come personally you see,
it's a matter of millions

So, you're becoming a model soon?
- I guess so

You'll become famous.
- Yes.. I guess so

People will buzz around
you like bees around honey

Yes.. I guess they will

Why are you crying?

I didn't mean to insult you

No, don't take me otherwise

I belong to a decent family,
I wouldn't dream of it

Calm down, everyone's watching

Poor thing.. she's in grieving

I was only sympathising..

Everything's fine

Mummy.

You'll be the first girl to cry after
making it to the Miss India contest

I didn't make it anywhere

Aren't you ashamed of lying?

Actually, I lied too..

..the manager of the finance
company didn't quite buy my scheme..

I think he doesn't have the drive

Bloody idiot

Foulmouthing.. me?

Escort her to the loo
and then get abused for it?

I escorted you! Who
do you think you are?

You mean if you go back now?
- Wedding bells..

That's too bad.
- Very

Then?

I'll run away.

You already have

So, what'll you do now?
- What'll you do?

Whatever I do, I'm not giving up.
And l'm not going back home

Then, where will you go?

Kanpur

Why Kanpur? - The
company has a head office there

I'll show my scheme to senior
officers, I'm sure they'll get it

Why don't you come along to Kanpur?
- Who me?

Miss India contests
are held all over.

Maybe they'll allow
you to enter there

You got to find a
way into the contest..

..else what use was running away?

Kanpur!

So long, l guess the next
time I see you it'll be on TV

I guess so. Thank you. And
good luck for your big meeting

Thanks but that was superfluous.

I only need to make a
presentation and voila!

I'll have 100 finance
companies running rings around me

See you

Unbelievable. Got to admit..
very few people have brains as sharp

I say, just once in a whole year,
let me meet just one such person

But two in a single day,
unbelievable!

Would you believe..

just half an hour ago, another man
came to me with an identical scheme

Who?
- Manager of our Lucknow branch..

Mr Qureishi! Imagine.. a rare
gem lay buried in my own backyard

He got a 10,000 bonus on the spot!

..He even had a
list of 500 investors.

Unbelievable! What a man!
- Where's he staying?

Landmark Hotel.
- In Landmark! And why not?

The 10,000 bonus!

Give me as much l'll go
to live in a five star too

Next?
- Vimmi Saluja

Address?
- 2/5 Ballygunj, Pankinagar

One minute..

Doesn't Pankinagar fall
within the Lucknow district?

It does?
- Yes, Lucknow district

You didn't fill up
the form in Lucknow?

What difference, here or there?

I was passing through Kanpur so
I thought I'll get it over with

Very good

Please step outside

Sir'ji, just a matter of an address..
- Go away! Rules are rules

Please..
- Get lost

Oversmartness

Look, l can't bend the rules

But if you wish..

I can forget rules for a while

Yes sir!
- But nothing comes for free

Sir, I'll do whatever you wish!

Very good! Once you're Miss India..

..you'll have all the wealth, all
the fame your heart ever desired

But I? I'm still stuck to
the same.. chair and table

Oh sure..

I have nothing right now..

but I promise, when l'm Miss India..

I'll pay you..
everything you'll ever want

You're mistaken. You have everything
I'll ever want.. right now

I won't force you.
Registration closes in five minutes.

Think it over

You'll find me at the same table

What's your name?
- Jajjan

You make tea?
- No, I serve tea

This world we live in boy,
has two kinds of people

One, those who serve tea.
And those to whom tea is served

The faster you
become one of the latter..

..the better the
life that you'll live

Has somebody hurt you?

Two teas and chips

Two?

Why? Problem?
- No. But who's the second cup for?

If l drink two cups,
will it start a war?

God, this world we live in!
Get a hold on this kid

It's no use.
- What?

No use being earnest,

unwitting fools getting
shoved in stinking little towns

Then?

Bombay..

..the only city in all of lndia where
a man is recognised for his worth..

the only place where you can start..

..from the pavement
and end up in palaces..

where ambition isn't pushed around,
but cheered, egging you on

How're you so sure?
- How..

if Dhirubhai Ambani, Ratan Tata,
Birla had been in Lucknow-Kanpur..

..they'd be swatting flies in Ambani
General Stores, Tata Flour Mills..

..And Birla Tobacco Stall.

Bombay.. gave them the
recognition they deserved

Look where it got them..

So you want to go Bombay?

You can come along too.
What'll you do here?

All the top models are in Bombay.

Damn this
narrow-minded small-town mob

It's the place for Miss lndia, no?
- Yes

A ticket to Bombay,
how much would it cost?

Not that I have that kind of cash

I got the cash, don't worry.
- What?

We've seen where
truth has landed us.

Now let's say what they want to hear

And what's that?
- Oi Jajjan, where's Landmark Hotel?

One whiskey..
- Which one sir?

Imported. How much for a
Black Label? - Four hundred, sir

For a bottle?
- No. 30 ml

Small peg

I'll try an Indian whiskey for a
change. And don't forget the peanuts

Some pretty suave people you
got walking into this Gazal Bar

One Black Label
- Sir

Sir! You here?

Fursatganj! All of Lucknow seems
to be pouring into Kanpur today

Slick! What are you doing here?
- You'll be seeing more of me here

What do you mean?
- My scheme got rocking

Which.. the same one?
- No.. it was unworkable

You tipped me off in time. I
could've wasted another good year

This is another scheme.
- Which is this?

I explained this scheme..

..they offered me a two
per cent stake in the channel

What channel?
- A news channel

News channel

Nowadays this news channel business
is taking off like a rocket

In 3 months, they're giving
investors a 300 per cent..

..return on investment

Cigarette?
- Really?

How much.. is the investment?
- At least 100,000

Won't they take a little less?
I mean, I could invest too?

Why don't you have a chat?

Give me an introduction

This is Mr. Qureishi
- Q.Q. Qureishi

Q.Q. Qureishi, a very dear friend.

Whatever I am
today is because of him

Hello.
- Hello

Mr. Qureishi would like
to invest in the channel

How many millions?

He's not like other investors..
this is just a friendly gesture..

about ten thousand?
- Ten

Ten?

Fifteen?
- Fifteen?

But you're aware, it
should be at least..

Ok, all right, now
how can l refuse you?

One request..

..this remains between us..
let this be our little secret

No, no!
- Promise

We must be in Delhi by morning

So you take the cash from him..

..and fetch us a
receipt from my room. - Okay.

In the meantime, if
he has no objections..

..Mr. Qureishi can give me company
- Yes?

Well?
- No.. l mean no problem

Ten?

Fursatganj, don't forget the receipt

Would you like to dance with me

Mr Q.Q. Qureishi?

Yes, .

You dance really well.
- Thank you

Where's the ladies'?
- Thank you

The washroom.. where is it?
- Bartender, where's the washroom?

Run

What d'you think of my acting?
Better than yours?

Who conned him to your table?
- Who made the sucker dance?

I'd love to see Q.Q.
Qureishi dancing

Hey, the cash

Some sample

Your share.
- You keep it

It's your share.
- Not a gift

Just bank it for me till Bombay.
I can't manage money

We had fun though, no?

Lots..

Move it. Sit in the bus

Passengers for Dehradun and Ambala,
your bus is leaving

Name?
- Bunty

And the Mrs?

Babli

Bunty.. Babli.. seats 21 and 22

Get inside

Bunty.. Babli.. what the hell?
- Nothing.. move on. 21 and 22

What do you mean nothing?
- Sit down, I'll explain

When I was a kid I always blamed
Bunty for all the mischief I did

And we've just stolen money. So..
- But.. what the hell is Babli?

Why, what's wrong? I don't
have a problem with Bunty

You look like your Bunty! But
Babli.. she sounds like a fat slob

Fat or thin, now it's sealed.
- You could've asked me

Ask my wife her name in
front of a bus conductor?

Who are you calling your wife?
- I didn't say that, he thought so

And you let it pass! Now everyone
in this bus thinks I'm Bunty's wife

What are you doing? Everyone
will think Bunty's wife is a shrew

Stop it!
- You stop it

I'm not talking.
- Suits me

Babli, big deal

At least we managed
enough to get us to Bombay

This stash won't
last us a week in Bombay

And?

And.. l think we'll need lots
more if we want to make it in Bombay

Where will we get so much money?
- The same place we got this from

You mean another?

Are you mad? What are you saying?
- I'm not saying a thing. Bunty is

And l'm doing what Bunty's saying?
- Who are you to do? Babli will

Babli?

But I am Babli!
- Sure

You are when you are

You aren't when you aren't

Say, what are you now?

Bunty. You?

Babli?

Babli Bose, Food Inspector.
I'll inspect your kitchen

We hear, the beer
is adulterated here.

Tony, a chilled beer for the sahib

One step, two step, he steps it up
swings it, pumps it, struts his stuff

Meet Bunty

Minute by minute, she turns it up
spins it so you can't get enough

Meet Babli

Spinning like tops,
orchestrating rip-offs..

they'll clean your pockets,
cock a snook and be off

There ain't a legit soul
from who they never stole

When they dig, they dig so deep
you can't get out of that hole

Swings it, pumps it,
struts his stuff Oye Bunty

Bunty Saluja, Tourism department.
Unclean rooms. Got to inspect

Unclean? How many days
of inspection? - Three

She turns it on, spins it so
you can't get enough. Oye Babli

Bunty And Babli

They maybe two..

but they're too much

Bunty Aur Babli.. Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too
much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

Consider it your's. Take it away..

What model number is this?
- Model number can take a hike!

Why isn't your man back yet?
- What man?

Man.. means husband. - Husband!
What crap. You bloody fool

Love is wild like pigeon wings

Tantrums trip on diamond rings

Don't you blink

You might see their shadows pass

Tea cups clink. Tea cups crash.
Forgive, forget, they have a fight..

wipe their mouths
and take full flight..

come, come, come on, come on,
one step, two step, swing it Bunty

She turns it on, spins it so
you can't get enough. Oye Babli

Bunty Aur Babli.. Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too
much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

Bunty Aur Babli.. Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too
much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

Bulandshahr is abuzz with
the amusing misadventures..

of this daring duo who call
themselves Bunty and Babli

People seem to be in awe of
their ingenuity and audacity

Would you like a room or a suite?

No, I don't want just a room

I want the hotel.. we're
here to buy this place

I never thought I'd sell this
place. But your strong background..

and this mind blowing offer..
I'd have to be a lunatic to refuse

How long are you here?

A week maybe..
- Stay here then.. as our guests

This hotel's as good as yours.

We'll discuss
details over the weekend

No, doesn't look good. We can't stay
before we've signed the dotted line

I won't take no for an answer

Well if you insist.. champagne?

Searched every inch of
Mussoorie sir, l can't find them

What do you mean? And their stuff?
- They even stole ours

Damn them

Come away, come away

All our sparkles fly
right across the sky

Then we sight the
morning light Float up high

Witness the magic of Guru'ji

People running after you
like this.. it's a heady feeling

What? - Makes me feels
like I'm an achiever

They walk wrapped in perfume mists

Hold the world in love-locked fists

You won't see them flit about till
they want you to, and when you do..

he slides with a swagger.
- He's Bunty

She glides zig-zagger.
- She's Babli

Their tales are lore.. been
told a score times and more

And will be sung forever more

Their tales are lore.. been
told a score times and more

And will be sung forever more

I can't see any tunnel here..
- We've paid a hundred bucks apiece

Where's that Bunty guide?

Spinning like tops,
orchestrating rip-offs..

they'll clean your pockets,
cock a snook and be off..

there ain't a legit soul
from who they never stole..

and they dig so deep you
can't get out that hole

One step, two step

Swings it, pumps it,
struts his stuff Oye Bunty

She turns it on, spins it so
you can't get enough. Oye Babli

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too
much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too
much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

I'm so hungry I can't think straight

And you will shut up and eat
whatever's available. No tantrums

Makes you cry?

What's to cry about?
- None of your business

Look, what I meant was you
can't get pizzas out here

All right, I'll get
whatever you feel like

Tell me what you want

Who?
- I want my mummy

But..

Out here?

I miss her

You miss her a lot?

Go on, get it over with

Mummy.

Mummy

Over?

Not over! I'm missing her,
not laying an egg! Over!

What do you miss?

When I was little..

Papa'ji would talk about
taking us for a holiday..

..far away from Pankinagar

But in all my years of waiting, we
never saved up enough for a holiday

You want to send some money home?

Do you want to call them?

Come..

Hello!

No one's saying anything

Then why are you
wasting your breath?

- I don't know why..
I think it's Vimmi

Who's this?

Some nut

Papa'ji

It's me.. Papa'ji

Vimmi, my child..
where did you disappear?

I'm okay Papa, I'm fine

Vimmi my child, where are you?

I can't tell Mummy, but l'm fine

Look dear..

No Papa'ji, don't ask me to come
back now.. I don't want to come back

But I really love both of you

No, my child, listen to me..
- No Papa'ji. I'm hanging up now

I love you both very much

Bye..

You want to call home too?

No

Folks at home must be
worried about you too

No one worries about me

What are you doing here?

Wondering where he's now..
how he's doing

Do you think l was too harsh on him?

You were right in whatever you did

Have your tea, it's
time to go to work

Enough? Satisfied?

If you manage money like this in
Bombay in no time, you'll be back..

in your punk-whatever-town.
- Pankinagar, you bloody idiot

Wherever, but you're finished.
- What's left to count?

You've blown it all up.

I have, have I?

Expensive dresses, shoploads of
makeup just fell out of the sky?

They came from the same place as
your watch, designer shirt, jeans..

and.. this deodorant that
smells like turnip pickle gone bad

They fell off the sky, they did

Now what?

I've been thinking..

Let's.. do it one more time?
- No..

we've pooled enough
to get us to Bombay.

has two kinds of people.

One.. those who
collect enough and those..

who'll never have enough.

Myself and Tata-Birla-Ambanis
are the other kind

That's why they're where they are
today. And once we're in Bombay..

we won't get another chance.

So.. let's take one
last crack. Just once more

You think so?

I know so. So I say so

Who says so? You or Bunty?
- Bunty's always saying so

Today a little of me is with Bunty.

Oye Rakesh.. my sweet bloody idiot

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They are coming to your town.
They hustle then, they hustle now.

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

Making money all around.
Never do they settle down.

This one.
- No problem

There's just one problem

Just tell me.
- I'm leaving for Mussoorie tonight

Oh, that is a beautiful place
- I know

Tomorrow I have an inauguration.
- Your inauguration?

Not mine.. my hotel's

Oh, I see

Look Mrs..
- Miss..

Miss.. earliest we can deliver
would be by tomorrow morning

It's closing time, you see? And
we can't stay open for one machine

No, no.. not one machine.
- Then?

All.
- All?

But if the mall isn't open..

No.. l'll open up myself.. l mean..

I'll open it up myself for you

Lovely

Sixty thousand
- Sixty thousand

You take cash don't you?
- I take anything you say

Let's shop

Easy brother, easy. The
stuff inside is real precious

Hi!
- Hi!

Sorry for troubling you so much.

You can trouble me
as much as you wish

Please visit our hotel sometime.
- Sure

Your machines are now yours

Here's the balance amount

Thank you very much
- Mention not

May God send customers
like you my way every day

I pray we come by
shops like yours everyday

Driver!
- I have the same..

We seem to share similar tastes.
- I wish we find more in common

Mehmood! Let her rip.

You sound like he's after us already

If he isn't, then he soon will

Oye Bunty, you gave him a licking?

300,000 worth of shades

400,000 in watches

Bunty and Babli.

700,000 in electronic items

Deal

Time for a Chinese lunch. Come

I can't count any more

The incredible
incident at the renowned..

..Center One Mall in Bareilly..

has confounded the police.
Sources say,

..the perpetrators
of this heist are..

Bunty and Babli whose capers have
already made headlines in many cities

Even as investigations proceed..

..by now Bunty and
Babli must be far far away

Tomorrow morning! Bombay.
- That soon?

Before you've brushed your teeth.
This train gets there like a bullet

Good. We can get to work
the minute we get there

You're hunting for the top models?

Like you're
catching your Tata-Birlas

Your share

Always splitting cash at the
drop of a hat? What's with you?

Let's just get it over with,
no? So tomorrow..

you get on with your life,
I'll get on with mine

What'll you do without me? I mean,
on your own.. in Bombay?

Hog the whole bathroom?

You'll have complete freedom too, no?
Nobody will be getting on your nerves

Well you didn't bug me that much.
- Really now?

The way you fought, I would have
to be the meanest man in the world

I can't believe, by
tomorrow morning I'll be in Bombay

All these dreams, all these years..
is everything finally coming true?

Flap your wings, come on let's fly

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky

Flap your wings, come on let's fly

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky

Balle-Balle on a Sundae-Sunday

Balle-Balle

Balle-Balle on a Sundae-Sunday

Balle-Balle

Flap your wings, come on let's fly.

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky

Flap your wings, come on let's fly.

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky

Let's set the
streets of Juliet on fire.

Dance with Romeo in
the streets of desire

We explode with the light

Burn the dance floor, girl

Nach Baliye Dance the Balle..

Want bangles on your wrist, love?
- Nach Baliye

Want jewels in your hair, love?
- Nach Baliye

Run anklets around your feet, love?
- Nach Baliye

Nach Baliye

Give me bangles on my wrist, love

Nach Baliye

Weave jewels into my hair, love

Nach Baliye

Run anklets around my feet, love

Nach Baliye

Get into the groove
on a Sundae-Sunday.

Get into the groove.

Love to watch you baby, turn around

Get into the groove
on a Sundae-Sunday.

Get into the groove.

Round. Round. Round. Round.

The red carpet of dreams
unfurls for us to walk on..

Fate's now a little toy,
to toss, to roll, to rock on

Take your bets now, gamble your life.
Fate's at my feet. Ready to ride?

Then come take my hand, love.
I'll give you the ride of your life.

Then take my hand, love,
give me the ride of my life.

Let's set the
streets of Juliet on fire..

Dance with Romeo in
the streets of desire.

We explode with the light

Burn the dance floor, girl

Dance, buddy.

Want bangles on your wrist, love?
- Dance, buddy.

Want jewels in your hair, love?
- Dance, buddy.

Want anklets around your feet,
love? - Dance, buddy.

Dance, buddy.

Give me bangles on my wrist, love.
- Dance, buddy.

Weave jewels into my hair, love.
- Dance, buddy.

I want anklets around my feet,
love. - Dance, buddy.

Clap your hands everybody,
everybody just clap your hands

Come on. Dance, buddy.

On a Sunday. Come on. Dance, buddy.
Dance, buddy. Come on. Groove.

Dance, buddy. Dance, buddy. Come on.

On a Sunday.

Day doesn't sink into night here

These roads stay awake, alight here

Tip-toeing upon my eyelids
are dreams that never sleep

Then take my hand, love..

I'll give you the ride of your life

Then take my hand, love.

I'll give you the ride of your life.

Let's set the
streets of Juliet on fire.

Dance with Romeo in
the streets of desire.

We explode with the light.

Burn the dance floor, lad.

Dance, buddy.

Want bangles on your wrist, love?
- Dance, buddy.

Want jewels in your hair, love?
- Dance, buddy.

Want anklets around your feet,
love? - Dance, buddy.

Dance, buddy.

Give me bangles on my wrist, love.
- Dance, buddy.

Weave jewels into my hair, love.
- Dance, buddy.

I want anklets around my feet,
love. - Dance, buddy.

Bali. Bali.

On a Sundae-Sunday.

Flap your wings, come on, let's fly.

Flap your wings,
let's taste the sky.

Let's set the
streets of Juliet on fire.

Dance with Romeo in
the streets of desire.

We explode with the light.

Burn the dance floor, lad.
- Burn the dance floor, lass.

Dance, buddy.

Want bangles on your wrist, love?
- Dance, buddy.

Want jewels in your hair, love?
- Dance, buddy.

Want anklets around your feet,
love? - Dance, buddy.

Dance, buddy.

Give me bangles on my wrist, love.
- Dance, buddy.

Weave jewels into my hair, love.
- Dance, buddy.

I want anklets around my feet,
love. - Dance, buddy.

Train from Delhi to
Bombay is arriving on..

..platform 36 instead of platform 12

Bombay's really crowded, no?

Everyone's here to make
their dreams come true, no?

What's this stench?
Must be fish, no?

Where do you think
fashion shows happen here?

Let's get you into a taxi

And.. you?

I'm going back.
- What!

Look, l don't want to stay
in Bombay. - What do you mean?

I just.. wanted to be really famous.

a name to be reckoned with..

a name in the headlines

Vimmi, for the first
time in my life l think..

..I have a talent no one else has

I realise now, I never was Rakesh.

I've always been Bunty..

I've always enjoyed being him

To tell you the truth, I never
had the perseverance it takes..

to become a Tata or Ambani,
nor the calibre

Anyway, doesn't matter now. I
think I've discovered my destination

And l'm on my way towards it

Look..

this is what I want to do..

all my life, freely

But you please become
a model, a supermodel..

so take care

All this.. you did it all alone?

That's not what l meant.
- Then?

Without you..
- You can't walk one step, you know?

Wants himself in headlines!
Who wants to read about you?

No one's interested in reading
or publishing a Bunty-minus-Babli

Truth is.. without me, you could've
done nothing and you never will

Your taxi..

Tell me.. can you?

Yes

No

Can you live without me?

Yes

Then why are you screaming
taxi-taxi? - Because you need to go

Yes..
- So tell me.. where?

Where you want to go

Who says so?
- You or Babli?

What do you think?
- Must be you

So will you do something about it?

If that's the case then I
must do something about it, no?

What the hell! I didn't mean that

Wasn't me. lt was Bunty.
- Everyone's staring

We're in Bombay.

No one looks at anyone here

Think it over

I won't let you rule
over the bathroom. - Done

No more sleeping alone on
the floor. - Sounds good

What about all the modelling dreams?

That's Vimmi's problem

But you?

I've become Babli

Forever

You know what it's worth?
Not five paise. lt's a fake

Who?
- What?

What's your name?

Mehmood

You're a comedian?

Let's start by making you laugh?

Okay, two jokes for you

One

Mrs and Mr Flea come
out after a matinee show

Mrs Flea says, l'm tired today

Mr Flea says, honey don't worry,
I'll hail us a dog

You are that dog.. the
one they rode for the hike

Now spill it, did you go to
Center One that night or no?

No sir

This here, is my second joke

Where are those two now?

Long time.. gone

Names?

Bunty and Babli

How old are they?

Bunty's around 23-24

Babli is 20-21

She was really sweet, well
mannered and intelligent, sir

Even the boy was
all heart, great guy

That's quite something, sir

No, you asses are quite something

To think that petty criminals..

booked for cheating, misdemeanour,
malfeasance, fraud and perjury..

are quite something

And not just you, the
whole lot of you from..

..this generation is quite something

Right and wrong, good esteem
and bad, good deeds and bad..

you've forgotten
what sets them apart

But I can tell the difference.

And l'm going to teach you fools too

The newspapers say that for boys
and girls in schools and colleges..

these two crooks are role models.
- So they want to be role models?

Fine..

then that's what they'll become..

I'll make them a fine example
of a cure for this generation

What did you say their names were?
- Bunty and Babli

This Bunty-Babli
better watch out for me

We'll always place each
other before ourselves

Okay

We'll never ever
break each other's hearts

And if we do so accidentally..

..we won't burst into
tears without warning

Okay, we will never eat or
drink anything without each other

Except early morning tea

You wake up like a queen at
noon I can't wait that long

We'll give each other the
same amount of love forever

Why? We can give more! I'll
love you even more tomorrow..

more the day after and so much
more the day after the day after

We'll cut off all ties with
those who don't understand us

Except our parents.
- Your parents

We'll be Bunty-Babli
for the rest of our lives

And we'll live out all our dreams.
- Except..

Except?
- Leave that to me

Okay

Oye Rakesh just married!

Look..

right at the outset of this marriage
I want to tell you all about my past

I don't want any issues later

In school, when I was in Class Two,

Mukesh used to sit behind me

He used to tug at my plaits

And you know.. it used to
make me giggle like crazy

These boys are all scoundrels

They'll try their luck
with every cute girl

How true

How lucky I am, you
aren't like those boys

Rakesh.. you're such a good boy

Sweet boy

So.. what I was saying was..

..now that you are my wife..

my mate in joy and sorrow..

for all my days to come..

and nights.. understand?

Asleep? On your wedding night!

This world we live in
has two kinds of people..

those who aren't
married and those who are

So?

So you belong to the latter, no?

So?

So marry me now you fool

Look, above me..

..the sky's soared away.

Look, above me, the
sky's soared away.

I see my skies breaking free
of the earth at the horizon..

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

Look, see what I see,
the earth afloat..

..earth dissolving in water
gushing from who knows where.

Then my sky breaks free of
the earth at the horizon

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

No consciousness of what I am
I have no sense of what I'll be

This time now seems unreal
This can't be happening to me

You slowly dissolve in
me I slowly fade into you

Our feet stop and our paths shift.

The sky rolls over
on its bed of clouds.

The sky will melt and
pelt the earth with rain.

The earth dips its
toes in the water.

It just might stumble to its
feet and start strolling around.

Soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit.

Soft, slow, tip-toeing, love.

Soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit.

Soft, slow, tip-toeing, love.

Say the word, and I stop.
Say the word, and I move.

If this is
obsession that consumes me,

let it set the
yardstick for obsession.

Say the word, and I stop.
Say the word, and I move.

A stranger to my destinations,
I go where you want me to.

Look, above me, the
sky's soared away.

I see the sky breaking free
of the earth at the horizon.

Look, see what I see,
the earth afloat..

..earth dissolving in water
gushing from who knows where.

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe
bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

Babli is Bunty's and Bunty is Babli's
Each other's forever they'll be

Babli is Bunty's
and Bunty is Babli's.

Each other's forever..
- They'll be

They began their lives.. in small
sleepy towns, towns they detested

So they popped up in big cities
doing the kind of things I detested

Not for poverty, need or
misfortune. Only for fun

Turning to crime for fun? I'd
never ever heard that before

News of Bunty-Babli's capers
poured in from all quarters..

dripping into my ears
like red hot molten iron

Girls and boys in
schools and colleges..

..began to idolize
them as new age heroes

Constantly breathing
down their necks..

..I even started
to think like them..

what next, their next sharp turn?
My hunches were hitting bull's eye..

and I was inching closer to
them with every passing day

They took their infamy for success
and quickly jumped from cons to scams

Scams no one had ever
heard of or imagined before

Okay, how about Kerala?
- Too hot

Manali?
- No, it is too cold

Jaipur?
- It's too dusty

Ladakh?
- It's too lonely, Harry

How many times am I gonna tell you,
it's a damn historical monument..

not a hotel which I can rent

That's your problem Harry,
you said if we came to India..

I could get married wherever
I want. This is what I want

You are impossible

Am I.. I am?
- Yes

Really? Fine!
- Yes

Do you see what I see?
- I'm not blind

Do you hear what I hear?
- I'm not deaf

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I'm no mind reader. Get to the point

Protesters.. thirty. Taxi drivers?
- Four

School children?
- Twenty. With one teacher

Newspaper?
- Agra Times

Minister's office.
- Very good!

And a wedding bash.
- Oye Rakesh! A first round knockout

I want to marry there Harry,
not put it in my living room

I told you it's not possible Kate

Selling Taj..
- Never, never

Government don't be..
- Clever clever

Selling Taj..
- Never, never

Government don't be..
- Clever clever

Selling Taj..
- Never, never

Government don't be..
- Clever clever

My car.. Mercedes.. Mercedes..
- Mercedes stuck in traffic jam

Students protesting Taj sale.
- What sale?

The Taj is on sale. Sir this
is my Mercedes. Please sit

Please sir.. the
government is selling the Taj.

We won't let them sell it

Extremely sorry sir, I apologise

Today's newspaper sir?

Thank you so much, sir

Is the Taj Mahal really
up for sale? - Yes sir

By who?

By him, sir

Excuse me

Hold on

No sir, it is not possible. We cannot
sell Taj Mahal to a foreigner

Even if the price is high?

No price is too high for Taj Mahal

How about 100 million dollars?
- No sir

150 million.
- No sir

175 million.
- Sir, I told you, it's not possible

200 million.

Well.. 250 million

Why don't you speak with her?

Who?

Phoolsakhi'ji

Who is Phoolsakhi'ji?

Phoolsakhi'ji

Minister in charge of purchase
and selling of the Taj Mahal

Where's the typist?
She's down with viral fever.

We're getting another typist

Get her quickly. - l'll be
in the office all day today

Let's pack in as much
corruption as we can today

Of course.
- The typist is here madam'ji

Sit

My niece's doctoral thesis. I
want it typed out by this evening

Of course, it's me. Go on What..

I'm coming right away

What's the matter ma'am?
- Riot outside my house! Hurry

You keep typing I'll
be back in an hour

How long have you been in
government? - Not very long

And the minister?
- Not very long either

Sir..

You brought the other money?

I can't believe! Someone is
actually selling the Taj Mahal

Nor can I believe!
Someone is actually buying

This ass is going to get kicked

Crowshit on your egghead

He'll be crying for help in two days

How do I look?
- Very fine

How are you madam?

Would you believe l've
been dying to see you?

Madam, this is Mr. Harry Epstein

He wants to buy the Taj Mahal

Exactly

I'm not selling

But madam, we had a deal..
- Why are you late?

But ma'am.. Shut up

So you can't sell
the Taj Mahal to me?

It's all a big mistake

And you have wasted my time

One minute

I said l can't sell the Taj Mahal but
it doesn't mean you can't have it

I don't understand

You can lease it on rent

For how long?

Five years

Ten Ten?

Lease document ready for five.
interested, not interested?

Interested, interested

Why are you protesting?
- Because we have grievances

What grievances?
- Meet our demands or else

What demands?

The revolution..
- Long live the revolution

Never mind that, but
what are your demands?

Down with tyranny

Whose?
- Every tyrant's

Five years

All Harry Epstein's

For a price of 250 million dollars.
- Good doing business with you

And here is your fee 5
million Rupees, cash

Tell me your demands.
- Quit lndia

Quit India, quit India

Quit India? - State your
demands or I'll arrest you

We demand that Ms Kalasakhi..
- But I'm Phoolsakhi!

Tell them!
- You've got the address wrong

She is Ms Phoolsakhi. Now get out.

Okay. Sorry. Fine. Relax. Don't mind

Okay then, goodbye.
- Thank you madam

See you.
- Namaste

Which country are you from?
- Oh, all of them

Your guests should be here soon

Goodbye

What happened to this elevator?
- Could be stuck somewhere

It's coming.
- Let's go

Finished?
- Nearly

It sure is nice of Mr. Bunty to throw
us this wonderful wedding party

And you! Thank you,
it's a dream come true

Not possible

What do you mean not-possible,
I own the Taj Mahal

Is he nuts? He says
he owns the Taj Mahal!

Poor thing, God can
really be cruel sometimes

Open the gate before I
fire you.. dismiss you

Dismiss? He says
he'll get us dismissed

Doctor? You need one?
We call doctor?

No doctor! You talk to Mr. Bunty

He wants some Bunty fellow

What Bunty? Hey wait a
minute are they Bunty and Babli?

So finally you arrive!

They sold the Taj and scooted while
you stood by and watched it happen?

Tomorrow when you sell it
again l'll still be left watching

What!
- Look madam..

a bull doesn't budge until
he sees red in his face..

..and it takes a scam to prod me
into action. l just got the news, no?

That's no way to talk.
- Really? And how did they talk?

Go on, file your report about
descriptions, characteristics

Stop staring at me and do it

No one could've pulled off this
caper without the help of insiders

Who could it be?
- Could've been you, madam

You left her alone in
the room at a perfect time

Corruption happens at the top floor.

But one has to climb
from the ground floor

There's a saying amongst us
policemen. Orderlies make more..

..under the table

See son..

you shouldn't have
gone to the wedding..

..that too in a new car. Getting it?

Hey trumpet.
- Yes sir?

What's the most
requested song nowadays?

Babu'ji, slow it down now

Stand up here

Play

I heard you took an
American to his wedding altar

No sir

I know their names. I
want to know where they are

Harry says, he was so smooth,
and convincing. Harry's no fool

And you believed?
- I did

It was in the Times of lndia.
- All newspapers say..

all Americans have sex
all the day, I believe?

Don't look at it, you
hear me? Don't look at it

Sir how about leaving? What
can we possibly get to know here?

Here you learn to what
lengths a man can go..

..for the smallest of things

Get the serial numbers
of the currency that..

..he withdrew from his bank

Tell me joke

Non-veg

Tired of turning wheels? Now
watch how the wheels of fortune turn

I didn't see a thing. What can
I say? I'm a simple honest man

God! This one turns out to be
honest! Wheel back that car..

go on.. back out..

go away, far away

There. Stop

The longer the distance, the
more it looks like an accident

Don't move or l'll shoot.
- Sir, what are you saying?

I told you! I saw nothing.
- No one's ever seen..

what's about to happen right now

Come on, slam the car.
- No.. please

Slam him. - Please! No.. I saw,
I saw! I saw everything

Turn off the engine

Stand straight

See no evil. Speak no evil. Hear no
evil but if you can profit, grab it

Gandhi'ji would've come
here personally to whack you..

..for being so honest

Who else was in it with them?
Go on, give him every detail

What's wrong? Why are you sulking?
You're upset with me?

Moron, the Taj got sold, not
your taxi. Like some nuts?

No?
- Suit yourself

There was no corner of the country
Bunty and Babli hadn't been to

And every newspaper was
cheering their ingenuity

But I was dying to
see them behind bars

No there's no
mistake about this order.

Your assignment is being changed

But I've completely
committed myself to the case

Bunty-Babli's case is being
assigned to the federal agencies

To whom?
- Federal investigation

God

Our politicians have become honest?

The feds have time
for Bunty and Babli?

They have your sympathies?
- Not those two

My sympathies are with the feds.
- You think the feds can't get them?

Why?
- Because they can't think like them

And you can?

I'm beginning to feel
we're related somehow

From tomorrow, you're taking
charge of the gold at the airport

Very well sir

You're the boss

I'll take charge of
hell if you want me to

Anyway what's the score?
- What?

I found myself a
night-watchman's job.

This is how I got to bide my time

Dashrath Singh..

If there's anybody who'll lay a
finger on Bunty and Babli, it's me

You find this funny? You can
do this yourself the next time

I won't be able to do
this even if I tried, love

But you can make a
mockery of those who do?

Ok, I'm sorry - What idiot
could've made you a father

You

One rum, large

You don't need to pay sir

Did I mention I'm a policeman?
- Hear me out, sir

The gentleman out there is
hosting food and drinks..

..for all guests tonight

Who?
- The man in black

They're buying this restaurant

No way. We're picking up
the tab for everyone tonight

Not tonight. Tomorrow

From tomorrow, this hotel is
yours to do as you please.

But tonight's on me

Friends, cocktails and
dinner for everyone on the house

Vodka
- Yes Sir.

Vodka.

Whiskey

Cocktail?
- Sir.

Gin
- Okay.

Gin.

Rum

Flying to the moon?

You're selling the tickets?

You've just bought
yourself a one-way ticket

I don't believe much in
buying tickets but yes..

..I do want to fly to the moon

You're a man in a hurry?

Somewhat

There's this one place in
which men-in-a-hurry usually end up

You see..
- What?

This world we live in
has two kinds of people

I see.
- One, the kind that listens

And the kind that talks.
I belong to the latter

So sure of yourself?
What do you do? - Cleaning

I'm in the cleaning business.
We clean out places

What kind of places?
- Any kind

So you like tidy places?
- No, I like tidy sums of money

Interesting man. Where
are you from? - Allahabad

Aha, you look that type

Sir, one more large?

Bring it on then

What's happening here?

You're smoking in front of your
baby? - How the hell can he see me?

Babies know everything.
- How can they know everything?

Stop it

I get the feeling l'm her baby

And he who is he?

I.. am..
- He is..

Whoever, doesn't matter. Come on

Women.. are like this only. -
How and how do you think women are?

Oye, don't stoke my anger.
- Hello, what's happening here?

A fight can't you see?
- That I can, but why?

Private matters of husband-wife!
How meddlesome

Please stub that out

You look like a long lost father!

Ought to be setting
an example for him

And you better come along. I'm
checking out the rooms in this hotel

Don't take too long

Don't come back in an hour or two.

Spoilt the mood for
no rhyme or reason

You seem to be much fallen-in-love

You've never fallen.. in love?

Once, a little

What?

A little

In a summer of Delhi I came upon her

Every single day on bus number 481 ..

I would fall all over myself
to vacate the ladies' seat..

and she would sit down
with the sweetest smile

For a whole year..
- You never spoke?

When our eyes were saying so much
how could words dare to interfere?

But..

I can shower her
with gifts, can't l?

So every week, I'd fall over
myself to give her my gift

And she..
- Would smile?

And take it
- Yes.

And l'm sure that one day, in return
for all my gifts she would give me..

that one big gift I've been waiting
for. - So did the gift arrive?

Winter arrived

On the 21st of December..

wrapped in a maroon
shawl and a warm smile..

she stepped into the bus. Radiance
on her face and in her hands..

a Golden Bakery box.
Inside that box..

were the world's most
beautiful heart shaped.. you know..

heart-shaped pastries

Wow!
- Yes.

And then for the
first time in a year..

she spoke her first words to me

Please..

would you distribute these
pastries to all the passengers

I just got engaged

Sorry.

Ei handsome
- Yes!

What happened?

She's calling you

Who is?

Tonight's your night

Those pangs you feel in
your heart have pained me too

Why not drown our pains tonight?

Nice

Rare are those moments
in life when desire calls

Come into my arms, or
come and slit my throat

Oh forget it..

this give and take of
hearts takes a lot of heart..

and doing it so boldly for the world
to see.. it's a woman's art you see

In this winning and losing
of hearts what are men worth?

His ruthless gaze..

tore up the street.. took me apart

It ran a razor's edge down
the willing side of my heart

Wow! Wow!

I fall to restless pieces..

don't look at me that way

I fall to restless pieces,
don't look at me that way

A townful of men in ruin
surrenders to what I say

I fall to restless pieces,
don't look at me that way

A townful of men in ruin
surrenders to what I say

I stretch with desire,
I take my bow

I stretch with desire..

come touch me now

Night eyes..

night eyes.. your night eyes..

The moon sleeps
inside those night eyes

Night eyes, your night eyes
Night falls inside those night eyes

These sighs you swore,
wrote them in kohl

Come to life inside these eyes

That kiss you left
on my handkerchief

I knot it until it dies

Oh your words are
wisps from incense bowls

You waft in lazy
like the warm wind rolls

Oh your words are
wisps from incense bowls

You waft in lazy
like the warm wind rolls

I bow, I stretch.. come touch me

I stretch with desire,
I take my bow

night eyes.. your night eyes..

Night eyes, my night eyes
You're a shadow inside my night eyes

night eyes.. your night eyes..

Ask private questions, brook no lies

Hide under those veil-like lids

The curtains behind which she shies

No curtains hide my pain,
no lies try to guard me

I bow, I stretch.. come touch me

I stretch with desire, I take my bow

night eyes.. your night eyes..

You are mine in the
memories of old stone cities

Our songs still echo
in those forlorn cities

From the south gate arch to
where the north gate lies..

you and I are lore
set in stone cities

I hear the call of
the saint on the wall

And swear by the
black beauty of your eyes

I'm the guardian from
evil your eyes never had

I'll suffuse them with
smiles so they never look sad

Oh your words are
wisps from incense bowls

You waft in lazy
like the warm wind rolls

Oh your words are
wisps from incense bowls

You waft in lazy
like the warm wind rolls

Come touch me, oh
touch me, oh touch me now

night eyes.. your night eyes..

I love the way you sway

Madam, I am your only Adam

Night eyes.. oh the dark
of her nights in my eyes

Why do you dole out free drinks?

Why give free drinks, you fool!
How will you run your hotel?

Anyway..

I enjoyed your company

I feel satisfied
and a little in love

And it helped me forget those two

Forget them.. you've nothing
to do with those scoundrels

Generally..

I don't take to strangers too well

But I don't know..

I don't know why
the two of you have..

..touched my heart

We've done what?
- Touched my heart..

you could've been my children

You haven't told us your name.
- You haven't told..

My name is Dashrath

Dashrath Singh, Deputy
Commissioner of Police

You're a police' wallah?

What did you think? Balloon' wallah?

Why what's come over you?

What's it?
- Rickshaw' wallah..

Sit in the rickshaw

Go on, take him home.
- Yes, take me home

It's very late.
- Very late at night

Take me to the airport..

no not there

I'm going to Police Lines.
- Go on, quick

Oh my God, the very same Dashrath
Singh the one who's been after us?

My baby almost had a heart attack!
That was close, let's get out of here

Get out? The fun's only just begun
- What are you talking about?

Look, he never knew what we look
like. He still doesn't. But now..

we know who he is
and we also know that..

he's in charge of the security
of the gold stashed at the airport

By God! You are..
- Vimmi, if we don't..

steal the meat right
from the lion's den..

what did we achieve?
- Your hunger's getting out of hand

Now we're a threesome. We'll
need more food.. what do you say?

You'll get us killed someday

India's Central Bank doesn't
keep its gold in any one place

To protect the gold from fires,
floods or earthquakes..

the cache is split
over four different cities

Depending on the requirements
of various banks..

this gold is shuttled by air between
these four cities once every week

How they cracked this confidential
information, they haven't divulged

But what they did that day no
one could have ever imagined

Not even me..

Delhi-Mumbai, 9.10 pm tonight.
Korpal, Puneet, Mr.

And Delhi-Calcutta, 9.40 pm.
Sharma, Vandana, Mrs.

What's this other ticket for?
- Backup

-=MTR=-

Why the Air Traffic Control number?
- Backup

A back up for everything? Oye
Rakesh, is there one for you too?

Yes
- Who?

You

Smart

Call back the Jet airways flight
to Mumbai. The bomb is ticking

What nonsense. A bomb on the plane?

Jet 9W312. Yes Delhi Control?

Turn back and proceed for
landing on emergency runway number 2

There is a bomb scare

Delhi Control is this a joke?

Bomb on board, he says

Jet 9W312. Turning back

The caller's number. Get it now

Go get the number from them. Now!

We can't have the number

It isn't under ourjurisdiction.
- As long as the gold is on board..

this plane, the bomb, this airport,
everything is under our jurisdiction

How many people knew about
the gold? - Four bank employees

Are you implying the news was
leaked? - Give me the key to the box

But we are not permitted to
open it. - Give me the key

Now it's your responsibility. - The
bomb might explode any time, sir

The bomb has exploded.
Send message to headquarters.

I am assuming command

DCP Dashrath Singh here..

Surround the airport area

Locate persons who do not have
any reason to be here at this hour

Take suspects into
custody and inform immediately

They received the bomb
scare from this number

Dial

Ringing

Orange Maruti Swift 5700

Vimmi we'll have to ditch
this car. They've spotted it.

Get out

Stop.. taxi

Stop.. please

Papa'ji, please help us!

I'll give you more money
than you ever imagined

Son, for this job, I won't take
money even if you give it to me..

come my child, get up,
you'll do fine

Have faith in god. Faith prevails

Sir, what are you saying?

Policemen in every
hospital and nursing home?

We won't have men
for policing the city.

She's in labour.
She's about to deliver

Every child born in Delhi
tonight will see a policeman's face..

before anything else

That Dashrath Singh figured me out.

How are you so sure?

I know.

I saw it in his eyes..

Then..

in no time every hospital in Delhi
will be crawling with policemen

Which hospital do
you want to go to son?

The biggest.. the
biggest hospital in Delhi

Not a hospital or nursing home,
they'll go to a nondescript clinic

If l know that Bunty..

..he'll definitely take
Babli to the biggest hospital

Vimmi, don't be afraid

This hospital is packed choc-a-bloc
with newborns and their mothers

It'll take them ages to check
each bed. But you please hurry it up

It isn't in my hands, bloody idiot!

I told you you'll
get us killed someday

Hush

But hey, what life did I
have before I met you?

Is everything all right?
- Yes

Papa'ji.. if you
weren't here today..

There would have been someone else

The Lord up there runs a
regular courier service

He always provides for ones in need

Those two have fled the hospital
but they haven't fled Delhi yet

Seal Delhi, sir

Papa'ji, all that
you've done for us..

One honest man would do for another

Papa'ji, you're kidding me

By now you must have figured that
we aren't half as honest as we seem

I don't know what you've done to
make these people hunt you down..

but I see a simple
honesty in your eyes..

..take care son

God bless you.

For the next week or so
they'll be baying for our blood

We'll return afterwards.. but
where have you hidden the gold?

What's your baby, a boy or a girl?

What will you name your baby?

Before you think of a name you
need to see the baby at least?

A day has gone by, have you
even taken one look at your baby?

Did you hold your child in
your arms, even once.. once even?

Vimmi, you know we didn't
have any time for these.

Had l stopped for all this..

all three of us would've
either been jailed or killed by now

Some reason for celebration!

The day he is born.. his parents die

Cursed fate to be born with!
- Not his fault, is it?

That's what I'm saying!
What wrong has he done..

to deserve parents who
can go to jail anytime..

leaving him to rot on the streets

What are you trying to say?
- Enough

I won't do this anymore.
Neither will you..

Then what else can we do?

Anything, whatever
everyone else does

If we had to end up doing
what everybody else does..

why did we ever run away from home?

Because we were wrong

Now we're not free
to live as we like.

Now we're
responsible for one more life

How's he going to grow up?

How? With us..

..that's how With us?

And which school will he go to

You know this world we live in
has two kinds of people. One..

who waste the best years of
their lives in schools and colleges.

And the kind who school themselves.

Like us. We taught us
to do what we're doing

Which is what he'll learn?
- Of course!

And then he'll go to jail someday?

Have we ever been to jail?

We very nearly got thrown into jail

I don't want my son
growing up behind bars..

or dying young on the run

Do you remember agreeing on
all our marriage vows except..

We'll be Bunty-Babli
for the rest of our lives

And we'll live out all our dreams.
- Except..

Except?
- Leave that to me

Okay

This is the exception Rakesh

You're getting over-emotional
about this motherhood business

But now l am whatever l am.
Now I want to hear your decision

Choose. lt's either this life..
or a life together

So what have you decided?

What'll I do without the two of you?

Those marriage vows
weren't mere words

Fursatganj or Pankinagar?

Is it you that's saying this or?

Bunty and Rakesh. Both

What?
- Tickets

Since when are we buying tickets?
- From today

Why become so damn honest?

Oye Rakesh, you're in love

Oh all right

Rakesh my boy, this world we
live in has two kinds of men. One..

the kind that thinks
twice before getting married

And the kind that thinks
afterwards like you, you idiot

Two tickets for Fursatganj

Name?

Rakesh Trivedi, Vimmi Trivedi

Bunty and Babli

You've had a long run.
You must be tired

Rakesh.

Can we have some water?

Die of thirst dog!

Not for me. For the two of them

You won't believe me..

..but we quit being
crooks half an hour ago

Absolutely right, I
won't believe you.

- But if l insist
I'm telling the truth?

I'll start doing right now what I
had planned to do to you in jail

Why are you looking at me like
that? - He's telling the truth

Guaranteed by you,
India's biggest bonafide liar?

I'm not lying

A dog's tail insists it became
ramrod straight half an hour ago?

You're as old as my father..

..no one's had the cheek
to talk to her like that

So you respect your elders now,
do you? - And why shouldn't we?

Now don't tell me you pray
first thing every morning too!

She does

So?
- So what!

Now you pray to your
heart's content in jail!

It's all your fault now suffer.
- My fault?

Who's idea was it to go straight?
- It was for a good cause..

do you want your son to go to jail?
- So where's he going now?

Now I see how the two of you
have been fooling people for years

Pappu is hungry

Pappu? When did we
start calling him Pappu?

Got to call him something no?

You're thinking of
the gold all the time

Let's step outside for a while

I'm not going anywhere.
- Up

Darned luck. No one ever caught
us when we were in the thick of it

But the moment we quit..

Why did you get into all this?

I wanted to become
someone important.

And.. you became?

You won't understand.
- Why..

why won't I understand?

Because he never did.
- Who?

My father

He's just like you

You're trying to con me again

May l?
- A smoke? Sure..

Where are you going?

If she sees me smoking she'll scream

The child will stay with the mother

What's the use of crying now?

Should've considered this
beforehand. - What else to do?

Become a ticket collector and
collect ten rupee bribes all my life?

You can come in

We'll have to make a phone
call to your home or mine

We certainly can't take him with us.

No, it won't come to that

I'll figure something.

And con ourselves
out of this one too?

What else to do?

Take with me to jail..

..the very son for whose
sake I gave up everything?

What justice!

Jails are for reforming.

And here, three
people are being jailed

Two of whom have reformed and a
third who's completely innocent

Don't worry Vimmi.

I'll crack a plan.
- What plan Rakesh?

We've run out of plans

Vimmi do you have any
idea what jails are like?

How will you spend so
many years inside one?

Let's do something, l'll
take the blame for everything

Then you're free to go home
to Fursatganj with the baby

All you wanted was to become a model

I dragged you into this whole thing

You can't even make a
cup of tea for yourself.

In jail.. how?
- I'll manage Vimmi..

..don't worry about me

Have you ever managed
to do anything alone?

In any case, Bunty is
nothing without Babli

Get up

Unlock yourselves..

I can't do it..

We're nearing the railway
signal on the outskirts of Delhi

The train halts
there for two minutes

The two of..

the three of you can get
off and go wherever you wish

No one recognises
Bunty and Babli except me

And no one ever will

Sir..
- Shut up. Not a word

Or l just might change my mind

Get going

That's enough

Whether it was my
life's biggest mistake..

..or their best con act,
I didn't know

But policemen are human too,
believe it or not..

we wear those
uniforms only on our body,

..at heart we're as
vulnerable as babies

I believed I had
destroyed Bunty-Babli,

so l let Rakesh and Vimmi go..

because l think the law
needs to destroy crime, not lives

The bank's gold was recovered
from the spot Babli had indicated

The recoveries continued
for months afterwards..

monies and valuables
stolen by Bunty and Babli

I think they had told me
the truth about going back..

to live respectable,
honest lives like their parents

Rakesh'ji could you
perhaps increase the pressure

What a joy

This world we live in has
two kinds of Pappus. One..

the kind who obey their
parents and get to eat chocolates

and the kind that doesn't and
gets locked up inside toilets

You are?
- The first

My darling baby

But he didn't even drink his milk.

He'll eat the chocolate

What good are chocolates?
You and your fads

No, I'm feeling cold..
- Forget the cold. Be fashionable

What are you teaching Pappu?

To speak the truth
and pray every morning

Where's my son? One of his
friends is waiting downstairs

Friends and folks in
Fursatganj find all the time for fun

You fix the name of this city.
I'll fix this friend

My son is genius from..

childhood

I am very lucky

I got a daughter-in-law
who is very very smart

It's such a joy to know
that our son and his wife..

..have done things..

so important that your
department still remembers them

Never told folks at home
what all you achieved?

Maybe you should tell us

Nervous already?

A scam is in the offing

Huge scam

Sir..

I swear by my son, l've given it up

I've no idea of what
scams are happening

For three years now, I'm
following a work-home-work routine

This scam has got to be stopped.
- Then go ahead and stop it

We cannot stop it

Who else can?

You

Please save us from this life of
honesty and respectfulness. Please.

Is it just you, or..
- Both of us.

I'd choose death over
making mango pickle.

I'd rather die, Rakesh.

Have faith in God. Faith prevails.

One step, two steps,
he steps it up, swings it

pumps it, struts his stuff.
Meet Bunty.

Minute by minute,
she turns it up, spins it

so you can't get enough. Meet Babli.

Swami.. Bunty Ramaswami.

Mandalam.. Babli Cholamandalam.

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They maybe two,
but they're too much.

Once upon a time he told me that
he was in the business of cleaning

So l put them on the job
of cleaning up society

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They maybe two,
but they're too much.

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