Bullet Train (2022) - full transcript

Thank you for taking
the job on such short notice.

I am ready.

You are getting
the new and improved me.

Since I've been working
with Barry,

I am experiencing a calm
like never before.

Never.

Like, I'm less reactive
to situations,

I'm more accepting
of people's shortcomings.

I was a little uncertain
about coming back to work,

but it's like Barry says:

You put peace out in the world,
you get peace back.



I think your new
therapist might be forgetting

what you do for a living,
little Ladybug.

Ladybug?
Mm-hmm.

Your new operational name.

Ladybug? Really?

You don't like it?
You like it?

I like it.

Well, if you like it, all right.

Oh, I see what you're doing.

Ladybugs are supposed
to be lucky. Ha, ha.

You don't have bad luck.

Really?

My bad luck is biblical.

I'm not even trying to kill
people and someone dies.



That's an exaggeration.

It is? My last job?

The political blackmail photos?

I voted for you.
Remember the suicidal bellboy

climbed to the roof
of his hotel,

couldn't take it anymore?

Seems more like
his bad luck than yours.

Hang in there, buddy!

And he didn't die.

Okay? You drove him
to the hospital.

It's good luck.

All in how you frame it.
Sure.

Gotta say I like it here.

I could live here.

I like the atmosphere,
the people are considerate.

Except for that guy.

Why is this job paying so well?

It was supposed to be Carver's,

but he's got some stomach thing.

Carver?
You know,

and he doesn't
do snatch and grabs.

I'm filling in for Carver?

Y-You picked me second
to Carver?

You said you wanted simple
for your first job back.

Doesn't get simpler.

Shit.

Shit what?
I think I must have

lost the key when that guy
bumped into me.

What's the number again?

Five twenty-three.

Momomon.

Carver.

What an ego.

I mean, talk about a candidate
for self-improvement.

I mean, calling in sick?

I mean, what is that,
high school?

Mm. I can hear
that personal growth.

I know I'm being judgmental.

I need to... work on that.

But, Jesus, what a douche bag.

You have the
strangest requests... firecrackers?

I'm industrious.

Please tell me you didn't
order the sleeping powder.

Nope.
You almost gave that bodyguard

in Anchorage a heart attack.

I've worked on the dosage.

Take the gun.

Hai.

This train is bound for Kyoto.

Hai. Domo.

I'm gonna assume
you didn't take the gun?

Barry says every conflict

is an opportunity
for a peaceful... what was it?

And your handler says
some conflicts require a gun.

Shit.

Okay, I'm on.

Well, that's a start.

Hey, this is nice.

Economy?

You know, I'm thinking
of starting my own agency.

You know, all simple jobs,
all the time.

That's a terrible business plan.

No more sociopaths,
no more maniacs.

Just quality people.

Barry says it's time for some
change. I think he's right.

Barry does not know
what you do for a living.

Okay, here we go.

The bullet train has 16 cars:

ten economy, six first-class,

and remember, only one minute
stop at every station.

Bloody fuckin' hell.
Do you mind?

What is he,
fucking blind or something?

Hey, hey, hey. Come on.

Oh, come on,
nicking...? No.

You don't have to nick
the biscuits, man.

Oh, no.

You all right?
Okay, cool.

Yeah. Fucking asshole.
Thank you.

Why'd I do that?

It's like I got a compulsion
or something.

I have to take it if I see it.

Need to talk to someone.
Serious.

A goldfish biscuit?

I mean,
I don't, I don't understand it.

Okay, simple snatch and grab.

What am I snatching
and/or grabbing?

A briefcase.

Intel says there's
a train sticker on the handle.

Briefcases have owners.
Owners are not simple.

Mm-hmm. And last update says

the owners will be
in economy class.

O-Owners, plural?

Why didn't you tell me
to bring that gun?

I did. You chose
spiritual enlightenment.

Please.

Ticket.

Hold on.

Ah, no, no. Receipt.

Oh.

Shit, I think
I dropped my ticket, too.

Uh, that receipt shows

I bought a ticket,
though, right?

One stop.

Yep.

Domo a rig at...