Bugsy Malone (1976) - full transcript
A gangster movie in which all the gangsters are played by children. Instead of real guns and ammo, they use "splurge guns" that cover the victim in whipped cream. The story tells of the rise of Bugsy Malone and the battle for power between Fat Sam and Dandy Dan.
Someone once said,
if it was raining brains,
Roxy Robinson wouldn't even get wet.
Roxy had spent his whole life
making two and two into five.
But he could smell trouble
like other people could smell gas.
But believe yous me, he shouldn't have taken
that blind alley by the side of Parito's bakery.
¡Oiga! ¿Qué se imaginaba?
¿Que no queremos dormir?
Ruido, ruido, ruido.
Es como vivir al lado del ferrocarril.
Vaya a su casa y déjanos dormir.
Your name Robinson?
Roxy Robinson?
You work for Fat Sam?
Whatever game it was everybody was playing,
sure as eggs is eggs,
Roxy the Weasel had been scrambled.
Now, my friends,
I should be filling yous in a little.
This guy yous looking
at is the hero of our story.
Name of Bugsy Malone.
A nice guy. A little too popular with
the broads for my liking, but a nice guy.
An Italian mother, an Irish father,
he's naturally grown up a little confused.
Kind of mixed-up.
Oh, by the ways, I nearly forgot.
My name's Sam.
Fat Sam, on account of my physique.
I ain't no dumb bum.
And between yous and me,
this ain't no book store.
This is my place. Fat Sam's Grand Slam.
Best joint in town.
Hi, Jelly.
Hi, Bugsy.
We interrupt this program
to bring you a newsflash.
Reports are coming in of a gangland
incident on the Lower East Side,
involving a certain Robert Robinson,
known to the police as Roxy the Weasel,
believed to be a member
of the gang of alleged mobster king.
Fat Sam Stacetto.
Robinson was the victim
of a sensational event
and we go over to our
reporter on the spot...
So, tell me, how do
you allow this to happen?
Roxy was one of my best.
What have you got to say for yourselves,
you bunch of dummies?
Call yourselves hoodlums?
You're a disgrace to your profession,
you hear me? A disgrace!
And most of all, a disgrace to me. Fat Sam.
And we all know who's
behind this, don't we?
Sure do, Boss.
Don't need a headful of brains
to know that, do you?
Certainly not, Boss.
So, who is it, you dummies? Tell me. Who?
Dandy Dan, Boss.
Don't you dare mention
that name in this office!
Hey, take it easy, Boss. Sit down.
Come in.
Excuse me. I'm Blousey Brown.
I'm a singer. I'm here about the audition.
A singer, a singer. Listen, sister,
right now I don't need a singer.
Come back tomorrow.
Hey, Boss, how about my audition?
You said last week I'd be OK.
Am I going mad?
Are my ears playing tricks on me?
Will you get out of here?
Dancers, dancers,
I'm surrounded by namby-pamby dancers,
singers, piano players, banjo players, tin
whistle players, at a time when I need brains.
You hear me? Brains. Brains and muscles!
You've got us, Boss.
You, you great hunk of lard! You got
muscle where you oughtta have brains.
My pet canary has got more brains than you,
you great dumb salami.
Tell me, what's funny?
Nothing, Boss.
Don't worry, babe. I've been trying to
see him for months and months and months.
- You have?
- Of course I have.
What do you do?
I'm only the greatest tap-dancer on Earth.
- You are?
- Of course I are. I cross my heart.
But all he ever says is,
"Come back tomorrow."
I ask you, how many times
can I come back tomorrow?
Hey, mack. Special on the rocks, huh?
Do you know something? You look like you
put your face on backwards this morning.
You've got too much mouth, mack.
So, tell my dentist.
Would you watch where you're going?
I'm sorry.
- What have you got, an ice hockey stick?
- No. Just a baseball bat.
You're a baseball player, right?
No, I'm a dancer. My
mother made me pack it.
- You're a sports nut?
- It's for protection. In case I get robbed.
Do you take it everywhere you go?
No. I was here about a job today.
- Did you get it?
- They said, "Come back tomorrow."
- What's your name anyway?
- Brown.
"Brown"? Sounds like a loaf of bread.
Blousey Brown.
"Blousey Brown"?
Sounds like a stale loaf of bread.
Ha-ha, very funny. Terrific.
Pleased to meet you. I'm Bugsy Malone.
Don't call us. We'll call you.
OK, everybody, it's OK.
Just a little excitement, that's all.
Razzmatazz, music. I want to
see everybody enjoying themselves.
No-one can say Fat Sam's
joint ain't the liveliest joint in town.
Knuckles,
this means trouble.
You know what to do?
Sure, Boss.
Step on it, Jackson.
...the 20-yard line.
He's over!
One touchdown so far this afternoon.
Hey, what is this?
Irving?
Come on, Doodle, get out of there.
- Have you located the splurge gun yet, sir?
- I'm afraid I can't answer that.
- You're not at liberty to say?
- No, I don't know the answer.
- Do you know where the guns are coming from?
- I'm not at liberty to say.
You'll have to ask Captain Smolsky
that question.
OK, O'Dreary, break this crowd up.
- Have you located the splurge gun yet?
- No comment.
- Have you located the source of the guns?
- No comment.
Is it true
the gun is being used by only one gang?
No comment.
Can I give you a lift?
- Got a car?
- No.
So, how are you gonna give me
a lift, buster? Stand me on a box?
I thought we'd share a cab.
Forget it. I don't share fares.
I'm a lady.
Furthermore, I'm broke.
Who said anything about sharing fares?
No?
- Certainly not. I wouldn't dream of it.
- You wouldn't?
- I thought you'd pay.
- Swell.
Well, let's walk anyway. It's a nice night.
You shouldn't walk the streets at night.
It's dangerous.
We'll be OK. We've got your baseball bat.
Quit the "we" bit, buster.
You mean I'll be OK.
Which way are you going?
Which way are you going?
This way.
Then I'm going this way.
Here, let me take that.
No, it's all right.
Look, beat it, will you?
Mamma mia! What have you got in here?
Just a few books.
A few books?! You should start a library.
You should shut your mouth.
Have you eaten?
Ever since I was a kid.
Then how come you're so skinny, wisey?
- Because I watch my weight.
- I do that when I'm broke, too.
How about eating now?
No.
- Why not?
- I'm not hungry.
- You're not hungry?
- No.
I'm starving.
That's more like it.
That dress, that was awful.
The colors!
Good night, Fizzy.
Good night.
Good night, Fizzy.
Nighty-night.
Take it easy, now.
Don't do that, Knuckles.
It's how I got my name, Boss.
Well, knock it off, or
else change your name.
Tallulah, how much longer
do you want us to wait?
Coming, honey. You don't want me
to look a mess, do you, sweetheart?
Snap it up, will ya?
Put your flaps down,
tiger, or you'll take off.
You spend more time prettying yourself up
than there is time in the day.
If I didn't look this good,
you wouldn't give me the time of day.
I'll see you in the car.
Hey, Boss, how about my audition?
Tomorrow, Fizzy, tomorrow. I'm very tired.
A lot of important business to do.
I have to go home. Please. Goodbye.
I promise you, tomorrow, OK?
Tomorrow. Good night.
Are you coming, Velma?
Sure.
- Good night, Fizzy.
- Good night, Miss Tallulah.
Oh, my purse.
Going back to the speakeasy tomorrow?
It depends. I'm going to try my luck at the
Bijou Theatre. They're auditioning tomorrow.
Lena Marelli's show?
She walked out.
They're replacing the whole thing.
How long have you wanted to be a singer?
Since I was a kid, I guess.
Actually, I don't want just to be a singer.
I want to be a movie star.
In Hollywood.
What's so funny?
I don't know.
It's just that there was a time when people
were happy being railway engineers.
- Or nurses.
- Don't you want to be anybody?
Nah, I'm happy being me.
- And what do you do?
- Oh, this and that.
Crooked, huh?
Nah. In between.
What do you do for money?
I find fighters, boxers.
You do?
I used to fight, myself.
How good were you?
- I coulda been a contender, Charlie.
- You could?
Sure. But for a few things.
Like what?
Like a glass jaw.
Jelly legs. No stamina.
- And most of all...
- Yeah?
I got scared.
Some contender.
Do you want another drink in there?
- No. I've had enough.
- Come on.
I thought you didn't have any money.
I haven't.
- Then how are you gonna...
- Relax.
I'll think of something.
Two more drinks, please.
Look, pal, the food counter's closed,
the bar's closed,
my eyes are closing.
In fact, the whole joint's closed.
I don't want one anyway.
Hello.
Hello, operator, could you test this
line, please? I believe we have a fault.
It's Columbus 1,
9, 7, 8, 5.
I'll call you right back.
Thank you.
How much do I owe you?
Eight banana boozer specials
with double ice cream.
Three beef spitfires, two cream
Arizona doughnuts and a salami special.
Four dollars and 80 cents.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Let me out of here!
Let me out!
Come back!
Extra, extra! Read all about it!
"New Weapon Revealed." Read all about it!
We interrupt your commentary
on tonight's exciting ball game
to bring you a further bulletin of developments
in the latest outbreak of hoodlum gang warfare.
Police now officially state that the new
weapon of devious foreign manufacture,
known as the splurge gun, is now
being widely used by the mobster gangs.
We interrupt our interruption to go
straight over to our reporter Seymour Scoop.
This time, gangs have gone too far.
And what's more, what I have to tell you
is certainly not cricket.
There's a Mr. Bronx Charlie and company
to see you, sir.
I'll be right in after I get changed.
- Show them into the conservatory, Johnson.
- Very good, sir.
Say, honey, aren't you gonna play no more?
Later, my rose. Later.
OK, next.
Very nice. Yeah, it was lovely.
- Next. Get off.
- Can you get off the stage?
Don't give up your day job, OK?
I didn't figure on this many people.
They're all jugglers and magicians
by the look of it.
Don't worry. You've got no competition.
You'll walk it.
Come on. Hurry it up.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm very proud to be here.
In fact, I'm very lucky to be here.
Because as I was walking
along the sidewalk...
How do I look?
Fine.
I look terrible.
Believe me, you look swell.
- Honest?
- Honest.
- Cross your heart?
- Cross my heart. You look beautiful.
Next.
No, not that old chestnut again?
Let's get him off. Next.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I suppose you're wondering why we're here.
- You bet.
- Next.
Not one rabbit. Not two rabbits.
But three rabbits.
Next, next, next.
Next.
Yeah, great, OK.
Next!
Just get up there.
Come on, now. Next.
Blousey Brown. Singer.
She's pretty.
Great face, yeah. Could
do a lot with that face.
Oscar!
Oscar, Oscar!
Oscar, I'm back. I'll give you
one more chance, you hear me?
Lena, honey, you've come back to me.
I'll give you one more chance.
Otherwise, I'm out for good.
Out, out, out!
I'm not being humiliated in this place.
You know, I am the star and I
should be treated like that all the time.
OK, hit it, Joe.
Cheer up. There's a million other jobs.
Sure, buster. Standing on a street corner
with a hat to catch the dimes in.
It's only a matter of time.
Just cool down.
Look, buster, I've walked the
streets of New York for six months
and the only fancy steps I've done
is to avoid the man who collects the rent.
So, it takes time to be a movie star.
We can always come back tomorrow.
"Come back tomorrow!"
I spend my whole life coming back tomorrow!
Knock it off, Blousey. Cool down, will you?
- I will not cool down! I will not!
- Now, don't be stupid!
Will you be quiet up there?
I'm rehearsing.
I'm sorry.
Don't worry.
There's always Fat Sam's place.
- He won't see me.
- I'll talk to him.
- You know him?
- Know him? We're like that.
You're real good friends?
No, it's just that when I talk to him,
I cross my fingers he won't hit me.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
You're too good for the show, anyway.
Why don't we try Fat Sam's place, anyway?
You gotta be kidding.
- Hi, boys.
- Hi, Boss.
OK, relax.
Relax, will ya?
Well, guys,
I'd like to take this opportunity
of thanking you for your work so far.
Everything's gone swell.
- Just swell.
- Gee. Thanks, Boss.
Thanks, Boss.
Fat Sam must have had quite a shock.
Thanks, Boss.
Thanks, Boss.
Thanks, Boss.
Laughing Boy.
Yonkers.
Shoulders.
Bronx Charlie.
Benny Lee.
Any moment now, Fat Sam
will be crawling on his knees to me.
On his knees.
Where's my flower, Boss?
Soon, all Fat Sam will have
is the suit he stands up in
and a suitcase full of memories.
I don't have a flower, Boss.
What'd I do, Boss?
You goofed, Doodle. You dropped a gun.
And I don't allow mistakes in this outfit.
Cos mistakes put us all in the caboose.
And Sing Sing ain't my style.
No, Boss, not that. Anything but that.
I didn't mean to drop the gun.
It slipped out of my hand.
Button your lip, Doodle.
You're all washed up.
Boss, give a guy a break.
Get him!
And now, my friends, listen to
what I'm telling you. And listen good.
There's only room for
one Mr. Big in this town.
And that's me. Dandy Dan.
And, fellas, the time has come
for us to play our next card.
And believe yous me, Fat Sam and
his dumb bums ain't gonna stand in our way.
Look at me. I'm dancing!
Why are you shovin' me?
Hey.
What do you guys think you're doing?
Get in here, you bunch of peanut brains!
Get in here, you dummies!
Come on. We've got business to do.
Move it. Get in here.
Come on, you guys. Get in here.
We got business to do.
We can't waste all this time.
Right.
Let's get down to it.
Don't do that, Snake Eyes!
It's thinking time.
- And don't do that, Knuckles.
- Sure thing, Boss.
Let's start at the beginning. We're being
outsmarted by that lounge lizard, right?
Right.
- We've got to get back on top, right?
- Right back on top, Boss.
We'll kick that drugstore
cowboy right into line.
You bet, Boss.
Sure, we've been a little slow off
the mark. But dumb bums, we ain't.
No, dumb bums, we ain't.
Hand me a pie.
Louis, over there into the corner.
Me, Boss?
Why me, Boss?
Louis, into the corner.
What'd I do, Boss?
Nothing, Louis.
You see? Missed. OK, Louis.
You can sit down now.
Even a dumb mug like
Louis is too quick for us.
That's the root of our troubles.
We're behind the times.
I don't get it, Boss.
We ain't never gonna get back on top
with this kind of hardware, Knuckles.
It's old-fashioned. In short,
we've got to get ourselves that gun.
Hello.
- Do you want some information?
- Start giving.
Yeah. OK, thanks.
We've had ourselves a little break.
Who knows
the Hung Fu Shin laundry company?
Well, our friend on the telephone here
says that's where they stash the guns.
Right. Get moving!
Not you, Knuckles. You stay here with me.
Sure, Boss.
Oh. What?
I don't believe it!
The whole gang?
Everybody?
That leaves just you and me, Knuckles.
We're on our own.
What are we gonna do, Boss?
Don't do that!
How many times do I have to tell you?
Do nothing. Act like everything is normal.
Come tutte cose sono buone.
What does that mean, Boss?
You can't speak Italian?
No, Boss, I'm Jewish.
Then read the translations!
Oh, all this is good.
- Hey, Fizzy.
- Hey, Bugsy.
Still practicing?
Still practicing.
Suddenly
everybody wants to be in show business.
Hi, Tallulah, I've come to see Fat Sam.
- Is he in?
- No, he's busy, Bugsy.
Hi, Bugsy.
Hi.
Why don't you have a
drink while you're waiting?
Yeah. Why not?
OK, girls, go feed the ducks, will you?
Oh, Tallulah!
I said, beat it.
Long time no see, Bugsy.
Well, you know how it is.
Yeah.
You used to come and see me every night.
I've been busy.
Oh, yeah? Busy doing what?
Oh, this and that.
Hey, Fizzy, will you cut the ivory
and hit the shoe leather?
Yes, ma'am.
You know you're aces, Bugsy.
I've always found you kinda special.
Careful. You're racing my motor.
Oh, come on, Bugsy, give a girl a break.
Are you sure you got the right fella?
You're not like all those other saps.
- No?
- No.
You've got lovely brown eyes.
They'll be lovely black eyes
if Fat Sam catches us.
How about smearing my lipstick?
Careful, Tallulah.
If you come any closer,
I'll have to call my lawyer.
So, call him.
Blousey.
Blousey!
Blousey.
It's the broad about the audition, Boss.
He's busy, lady. Come back tomorrow, huh?
No, no, no, no. OK, honey, I'm all ears.
I'll be with you in a minute.
Carry on as normal, remember?
Don't let 'em know we're beat.
- Business as usual, right?
- Right.
- Calm and collected, right?
- Right.
This way, they don't know we're scared.
I mean, concerned.
Sure, Boss.
OK, honey, that's enough. That's enough.
A little contemporary for my taste,
but very nice.
You're hired.
That was great.
It really was, Blousey. It was terrific.
Blousey.
Blousey, come back, will you?
Aw, what's the use?
Sorry, Tallulah, I've got to go.
Blousey!
Where is she?
Blousey!
The show's going swell, Boss.
Good. That's just the
way I wanted it to be.
Tutte cose sono lo stesso, ricordare?
Same number of drinks, same everything.
Can't let 'em know they got us on the run.
Come here. I've got to show you something.
Knuckles, I've sent for someone
to help us out of our little predicament.
No ten-cent dummy. A specialist.
A doctor?
Not a doctor, you bilberry.
A hoodlum.
I thought we were hoodlums, Boss.
Not a dumb bum, Knuckles.
This guy is the real McCoy.
Not Looney Bergonzi.
- The Looney Bergonzi?
- Yes.
The very same Looney, off his trolley,
mad as a hatter, Bergonzi.
The best man in Chicago.
Here's what we do. We arrange ourselves
a meeting with Dandy Dan.
Looney hides in the back seat with me.
- You drive, right?
- Right.
But I don't drive, Boss.
You what? Cretino! You don't drive?
Right.
We get ourselves a driver.
- Oh, hi, Bugsy.
- Hi, Bangles. Is Blousey there, please?
She won't see you.
- Tell her I'm sick.
- You're sick?
Yeah. Sick of waiting.
Beat it, wisey.
Give a guy a break, will you, Blousey?
I've bought you some flowers.
I'll see that Tallulah gets them.
Quit being so smart. They're for you.
- Five minutes, girls.
- I have to go.
- I was thinking of getting a job.
- You don't get paid for standing in breadlines.
A legit job. We could save some money.
Enough for a ticket to
the coast and Hollywood.
Sure, sure. I'll believe it when I see it.
Hey, Bugsy, do you drive?
Sure. Why?
- How'd you like to earn some green stuff?
- As long as you don't mean cabbages.
Step inside. I've got a little
proposition to make to you.
Flowers! For me?
How nice. Grazie, amico.
Knuckles, put these in some water.
Hello.
Yes.
Who shall I say is calling?
One moment, please.
Hello.
Dandy Dan, is that you?
This is Dandy Dan speaking.
I want to arrange a meeting.
Yeah, I'll meet you. Where?
Out of town, OK?
Agreed. Just you and a driver, understand?
When?
Monday, 11 am.
Right. I'll be there.
Got him, the knucklehead.
Got him, the salami.
OK, Knuckles, let's go and enjoy the show.
They're coming.
OK, Looney. Keep your head down.
What can I do for you, Sam?
How about a small
dose of straight talk, Dan?
- Suits me.
- You've been taking liberties.
- I've been taking what's mine.
- Trouble is, it belongs to me.
Too bad.
Er, I'm sure we can talk this
over sensibly. I'm a businessman.
You're a dime-a-dozen gangster, Sam.
Button your lip! You don't talk
dirty to me. I don't like your mouth.
I have to have some respect, you know.
You'd slit your own
throat for two bits plus tax.
Keep your wisecracks behind your teeth.
Keep talking.
Er, I have my position to think of.
Right now, it's not worth a plug nickel.
You're a dirty rat, Dan.
You've been watching too many movies, Sam.
Looney, let him have it!
Charlie, Yonkers, it's a double-cross!
OK, yous guys. Freeze.
Looney!
Looney, what's the matter with you?
Hey, you guys!
Over here! Over here!
Come back, you dummies. They're
getting away. Come back here, will ya?
Come on, come on, come on!
Come on. Go. Go. Step on it. Go! Go!
Come on. Step on it!
Come on, Bugsy. We're gonna
lose 'em! Drive faster. Come on.
Dan, you're a rat!
Dan, you're a dirty rat!
They're gonna get us. Move!
Hold tight, Mr. Stacetto.
Get out!
Come on, Malone!
You're a dirty double-crossing
rat, Dandy Dan.
Turn, Bugsy. Hard!
There's a bridge down there.
Put the brakes on!
- Ha, ha! We lost 'em.
- We lost 'em.
Ah, shucks!
Dirty rats!
Get outta here, you dumb clucks.
Go "cock-a-doodle-do" somewhere else.
Here you are, Bugsy.
Treat yourself to a new suit.
Get rid of that laundry
sack you're wearing.
Why, thanks. Thank you
very much, Mr. Stacetto.
Oh, by the way. Here's my tailor's card.
Go see him. You ain't
gotta pay for six months.
- Thank you very much.
- Mi piacere. Mi piacere. Think nothing of it.
Come on. Let's go.
Tillie, don't you think I look kinda cute?
I don't know.
Come on, Dotty. What do you think?
I don't know, Bangles.
Maybe the color's wrong.
What are you talking about?
Purple's my color. I always wear purple.
Don't I always wear purple?
Yeah. Matches your nose.
Maybe it's the length.
It's the latest length.
I read it in a magazine. Look.
Maybe it's the frills.
They stick out too much.
They match your ears.
Frills are in. Look at this
picture of Lena Marelli.
- Lena Marelli is not Bangles Dobell.
- So? You think it'd look better on you?
It'd look better on a horse.
You're just jealous.
My looks are ahead of their time.
- They're what?
- Full of character.
- Kinda earthy.
- Yeah, like a bucket of mud.
You creep. Get lost!
How about you, Blousey?
Do you think I look terrible?
You tell me, Blousey.
Do I look cute or do I look terrible?
Honestly?
Bangles Dobell,
you look terrible.
What are you looking at, anyway?
Nothing.
Blousey.
Blousey.
Blousey.
It's for you. It's Bugsy.
Give him my love.
Thanks.
Hello.
Hello, Blousey. It's Bugsy.
- Where are you?
- Just around.
Look, I can't talk now,
but I just made myself 200 bucks.
You mean, you printed it yourself?
No, I earned it.
- Doing what?
- Oh, this and that.
Hang on a minute.
- I can't hear you.
- One second. There's a train going by.
Who gave you the money?
Fat Sam.
Fat Sam gave you $200?!
And the loan of his
sedan for the afternoon.
Fat Sam loaned you his sedan?
I don't believe it. You're putting me on.
I believe you.
Mustard with onions or ketchup without?
Mustard with onions.
Oh, and this, too.
- What's this?
- A present.
- A present?
- Open it up.
- You gotta be kidding.
- I don't kid around, do I?
Oh, Bugsy, it's beautiful.
- Nice, huh?
- What is it?
What is it? It's a viewer.
Here. Put your eyes in there.
- Pictures of all the Hollywood movie stars.
- Oh, Bugsy!
It's fantastic. It really is.
- If only I could really get to Hollywood.
- You can.
Sure, wisey. I know.
In the front row of the Roxy Theater
- on East 38th Street.
- No. Really get to Hollywood.
- Keep talking.
- $1 .80 for the viewer, right?
Ten cents for the hot dogs, right?
- That leaves 198 dollars and ten red cents for...
- Surprise me.
- Two tickets.
- Two tickets?
How many tickets do you need?
- To the ball game?
- To Hollywood, dummy.
Oh, Bugsy! That's really, really great.
- Knock it off, will you?
- You're putting me on.
It's the honest truth.
I'm picking 'em up tomorrow.
Now I'd better drop you off
and get Fat Sam's car back,
or else I'm not going anywhere.
Is anyone in there?
Hello?
Are you hurt?
Somebody help me! Ow!
Help me, please! Somebody, help!
Please!
They take your money, mister?
Yeah, nearly 200 dollars.
Thanks, anyway.
It was nice of you to help me like that.
It was nothing.
- You must be a boxer, right?
- No.
- You're not?
- No.
But that's the best punching I ever saw.
- You ever been coached?
- No.
- Ever thought of taking it up?
- No.
- Why not? You could be a champion.
- I never had the chance.
I know someone who could help you.
- You know Cagey Joe?
- No.
You must know Slugger's Gym?
No.
You don't know much, do you?
Nope.
What's your name, anyway?
Er, Smith. Leroy Smith.
I'm Bugsy Malone. Put it there, Leroy.
You got yourself a manager.
You know what the first thing
I'm gonna do with you is?
No.
I'm gonna treat you to one heck of a meal.
- I thought they took your dough, man.
- Who needs dough?
Aha! Come and take
a look at this, O'Dreary.
You've cracked it this
time, Captain Smolsky.
Get the plaster. We'll take a mold.
Come on. Let's get some plaster.
Now, be careful, now.
Up a bit. Up a bit.
That's it.
Left a bit. Left a bit.
Be careful, now.
That's good.
Come on. Hurry up.
Hold it straight. Now,
be careful. Be careful.
You idiot!
Hello. What?
It's no good, Boss. They've got
to the still. The whole lot's gone.
Not the sarsaparilla racket as well?
Get round here right away.
- I can't, Boss.
- Why not?
I'm all tied up.
I don't care how busy you are!
Get here right away.
Careful, you idiots!
No!
- O'Dreary!
- Don't worry, Captain Smolsky.
We'll break you out
when we get back to Headquarters.
- Hiya, Bugsy. How you been, man?
- Swell, Cagey Joe. Just swell.
I'd like you to meet
the next heavyweight champion.
Leroy, meet Cagey Joe.
Cagey Joe, this is Leroy Smith.
- You ever been in the ring before, kid?
- No.
- So you wanna be a fighter, huh?
- No.
Sure he does. He's a natural.
Look at those fists.
Did you ever see such fists?
Hit it, Leroy.
See what I mean? A born champion.
What's your name again, kid?
Er, Smith. Leroy Smith.
With your help, Cagey Joe, showing him the
ropes, he could be a champion in no time.
Ooh, that's fast!
Come on, Leroy. Come on!
He's got it.
Are you sure this is gonna work, Boss?
Of course it'll work.
It looks like a splurge gun.
Doesn't it?
Well, sort of, Boss.
Nonsense! Anything Dandy Dan can do,
I can do better. You know that.
All right, Knuckles. Are you ready?
Ready.
- Don't do that.
- Sorry, Boss.
All right. Take aim.
Ready.
Set.
Fire!
Missed!
It's back to the drawing board, Knuckles.
Knuckles!
Knuckles, speak to me.
Knuckles, parla con me.
Knuckles, dici una cosa.
Per piacere. Per piacere dici una cosa.
It's all your fault. Do
you hear me? Your fault!
Hello.
Not the grocery racket, too?
Yeah.
That's the whole empire gone, honey.
You hear me?
Everything.
And they'll be coming here next.
There's only one thing for it.
You'll have to get him to help me.
Who? The Lone Ranger?
No, you dumb dora. Bugsy Malone.
Call him.
I'm in trouble, real trouble, and all I've
got for company is a female comedian.
I need help. I'm really in bad trouble.
- Is he there?
- No, there's no answer.
Then get him to me poysonally.
Personally?
Poysonally.
"Poysonally."
So long, lover boy.
I like my men at my feet.
- What are you doing here, Tallulah?
- I brought you a message.
What's wrong with the Western Union?
I thought maybe you'd like the company.
Come on. I'll buy you a drink.
- Where?
- Er, how about Fat Sam's?
- Fat Sam's? Won't he be there?
- He sure will.
Er... maybe I'll stay home.
Don't flatter yourself, tiger.
He's the one that wants to see you, not me.
Come on. Let's go before
your suspenders strangle you.
I'm going to Hollywood.
Quit whistling, Fizzy. It makes me edgy.
Yes, Boss.
- Pour me a double on the rocks.
- Sure, Boss.
What's so funny, buster?
You find me amusing?
No, Boss. I'm sorry. I
wasn't smiling at you.
- Find my suit funny or something?
- No, Boss. It was your flower.
Oh, yeah. It is kinda droopy, ain't it?
Yeah, a little, Boss.
In fact, it's very droopy.
Very droopy, Boss.
Hold it a minute, will
you? It needs some water.
Don't let me see you laughing at me again,
else I'll ram that smile down your throat.
I'm Fat Sam. Don't ever forget that.
No.1 man. Top dog. Mr. Big.
Always have been. Always will be.
Now, get outta here!
Numero uno.
Be careful, Boss. The floor is wet.
Fizzy...
I'm gonna break your neck!
Fizzy!
Hi, honey.
- Here he is.
- Hey! Bugsy.
How are you doing, Sam?
Am I glad to see you.
- How are you?
- Good. You?
Pull up a chair.
- Fix him a drink, honey.
- Thanks. A special on the rocks.
So, what can I do for you, Sam?
Bugsy, I'm in a jam.
Dandy Dan's breathing down my neck.
Any minute now,
he'll take over my entire organization.
You've still got all this.
Not if Dandy Dan gets his way.
I won't have a dime for a shoeshine.
Tallulah, could you leave us
alone a minute? This is man's talk.
- Oh, that's all right. I'm unshockable.
- Go fix your make-up.
I've already fixed it.
Go make yourself more beautiful
than you already are.
You know that that's impossible.
Anything's possible.
All right. I'll go manicure my gloves.
Bugsy, believe me,
my gang's all gone,
my business is in ruins.
My friends don't want to know me.
I'm a wreck.
In short, Bugsy, I need your help.
Why me?
Because you're no mug.
You've got brains up there, not pretzels.
Nah, it's not my line.
$400?
Do we have a deal?
Hello?
Bugsy, it's for you.
I think it's Blousey.
You got a deal.
Hold on a minute. He
won't be a second, honey.
I'll see you, Bugsy.
Hello. Blousey?
What are you doing there?
- Just business.
- With Tallulah?
- No. With Fat Sam.
- Did you get the tickets?
Er... No. You see, er...
- You promised me.
- I know,
but Hollywood could wait a couple of days.
You had no intention of
taking me to Hollywood.
I do. There's just something else
I gotta do first, that's all.
You promised me!
Trust me, will you?
Look, I can't talk now. I'll call you.
- What can you see?
- Shh!
- Splurge guns!
- Where?
In the crates, stupid.
Look what it says on the truck.
- I can't.
- Can't you read?
Sure. I'm just a little short-sighted.
What's it say?
It says: Splurge Imports Incorporated.
Dock 17. East River.
- That must be where they keep the guns.
- Right.
Look out!
Oh, hi, Blousey. Miss your train?
- Blousey, what happened?
- A guy let you down?
- That broad needs her head fixed.
- Yeah.
- Er, yeah?
- I was wondering if I could have my job back.
Sure, sure. Everybody's welcome.
The more the merrier. Go right in.
- Hi, Blousey.
- Hi, Blousey.
Did you ever see a broad
carry a torch so high?
Yeah.
The Statue of Liberty.
This must be the place.
Two guards on the door.
Two on the roof.
Two on the pier.
What are we gonna do?
- Go home?
- There must be a way in.
We can't slug our way through them.
I guess you're right.
Let's get out of here.
What are we gonna do, Leroy, huh?
We need a few more men.
We need an army.
- There ain't no armies round here, Bugsy.
- Yeah, I know.
Hang on a minute, Leroy.
What's the matter with you?
Come on, you guys. Who's with me?
No.
What's the matter with all of you?
- Me.
- All right.
Yeah. Me, too.
And what about the rest of you?
What about you and you and you?
Why not? Aah.
Come on.
Is everybody with me?
- Yeah!
- Come on, then.
All right. There they are.
This is what we're gonna do. Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
Get Baby Face.
I am Baby Face.
What am I saying?
Right. I gotta have courage.
Give this to Baby Face. Hurry it up.
Big courage. Right. Right.
Give this to Baby Face.
Thanks. Just what I need.
OK. You know what to do.
- I'm scared.
- Come on. Will you get out there?
Yeah, right. Get out there. Right.
Yeah, I'm a big movie star now. Yeah.
Geronimo!
Get that guy!
Come on. Let's strike. Let's get him.
- Dummies!
- Come back here, you little thug.
Come on. Open it up!
Come on, everybody.
Let's open up these boxes.
Come on!
Give us a sack.
Sorry, Bugsy.
Right, gang. I don't have
to tell you how important this is to me.
This is the caper
that's gonna take the lid off City Hall.
- This is the big one.
- The big one.
- The shakedown.
- The shakedown.
- The payoff.
- The payoff.
And, I tell you, it's gotta be good.
It's gotta be neat.
And it's gotta be quick.
- It's gotta be good, it's gotta be...
- Quit repeating everything I say!
You shouldn't have any trouble. Just
er... Fat Sam and a few dance-hall girls.
OK. Good luck and off we go.
Three cheers for Dandy Dan. Hip, hip...
- Hooray!
- Hip, hip...
Hooray!
- Hip, hip...
- Hooray!
Too kind, guys. Too kind.
We've got to plan hard.
Jelly, Jelly. Open up!
They're here! They're here!
Shh! OK, everybody. Just act like normal.
Come on, you guys. Get to work.
All right, girls. Off you go.
Razzmatazz, let's hear some music.
OK, fellas. This is our moment.
Keep a cool head
and keep those fingers pumping,
cos, remember, it's
history you'll be writing.
OK, everybody, freeze!
Let 'em have it!
Amazing scenes have just been reported
on the Lower East Side.
There's been a frightful bad show...
So, this is show business?
This is getting ridiculous.
if it was raining brains,
Roxy Robinson wouldn't even get wet.
Roxy had spent his whole life
making two and two into five.
But he could smell trouble
like other people could smell gas.
But believe yous me, he shouldn't have taken
that blind alley by the side of Parito's bakery.
¡Oiga! ¿Qué se imaginaba?
¿Que no queremos dormir?
Ruido, ruido, ruido.
Es como vivir al lado del ferrocarril.
Vaya a su casa y déjanos dormir.
Your name Robinson?
Roxy Robinson?
You work for Fat Sam?
Whatever game it was everybody was playing,
sure as eggs is eggs,
Roxy the Weasel had been scrambled.
Now, my friends,
I should be filling yous in a little.
This guy yous looking
at is the hero of our story.
Name of Bugsy Malone.
A nice guy. A little too popular with
the broads for my liking, but a nice guy.
An Italian mother, an Irish father,
he's naturally grown up a little confused.
Kind of mixed-up.
Oh, by the ways, I nearly forgot.
My name's Sam.
Fat Sam, on account of my physique.
I ain't no dumb bum.
And between yous and me,
this ain't no book store.
This is my place. Fat Sam's Grand Slam.
Best joint in town.
Hi, Jelly.
Hi, Bugsy.
We interrupt this program
to bring you a newsflash.
Reports are coming in of a gangland
incident on the Lower East Side,
involving a certain Robert Robinson,
known to the police as Roxy the Weasel,
believed to be a member
of the gang of alleged mobster king.
Fat Sam Stacetto.
Robinson was the victim
of a sensational event
and we go over to our
reporter on the spot...
So, tell me, how do
you allow this to happen?
Roxy was one of my best.
What have you got to say for yourselves,
you bunch of dummies?
Call yourselves hoodlums?
You're a disgrace to your profession,
you hear me? A disgrace!
And most of all, a disgrace to me. Fat Sam.
And we all know who's
behind this, don't we?
Sure do, Boss.
Don't need a headful of brains
to know that, do you?
Certainly not, Boss.
So, who is it, you dummies? Tell me. Who?
Dandy Dan, Boss.
Don't you dare mention
that name in this office!
Hey, take it easy, Boss. Sit down.
Come in.
Excuse me. I'm Blousey Brown.
I'm a singer. I'm here about the audition.
A singer, a singer. Listen, sister,
right now I don't need a singer.
Come back tomorrow.
Hey, Boss, how about my audition?
You said last week I'd be OK.
Am I going mad?
Are my ears playing tricks on me?
Will you get out of here?
Dancers, dancers,
I'm surrounded by namby-pamby dancers,
singers, piano players, banjo players, tin
whistle players, at a time when I need brains.
You hear me? Brains. Brains and muscles!
You've got us, Boss.
You, you great hunk of lard! You got
muscle where you oughtta have brains.
My pet canary has got more brains than you,
you great dumb salami.
Tell me, what's funny?
Nothing, Boss.
Don't worry, babe. I've been trying to
see him for months and months and months.
- You have?
- Of course I have.
What do you do?
I'm only the greatest tap-dancer on Earth.
- You are?
- Of course I are. I cross my heart.
But all he ever says is,
"Come back tomorrow."
I ask you, how many times
can I come back tomorrow?
Hey, mack. Special on the rocks, huh?
Do you know something? You look like you
put your face on backwards this morning.
You've got too much mouth, mack.
So, tell my dentist.
Would you watch where you're going?
I'm sorry.
- What have you got, an ice hockey stick?
- No. Just a baseball bat.
You're a baseball player, right?
No, I'm a dancer. My
mother made me pack it.
- You're a sports nut?
- It's for protection. In case I get robbed.
Do you take it everywhere you go?
No. I was here about a job today.
- Did you get it?
- They said, "Come back tomorrow."
- What's your name anyway?
- Brown.
"Brown"? Sounds like a loaf of bread.
Blousey Brown.
"Blousey Brown"?
Sounds like a stale loaf of bread.
Ha-ha, very funny. Terrific.
Pleased to meet you. I'm Bugsy Malone.
Don't call us. We'll call you.
OK, everybody, it's OK.
Just a little excitement, that's all.
Razzmatazz, music. I want to
see everybody enjoying themselves.
No-one can say Fat Sam's
joint ain't the liveliest joint in town.
Knuckles,
this means trouble.
You know what to do?
Sure, Boss.
Step on it, Jackson.
...the 20-yard line.
He's over!
One touchdown so far this afternoon.
Hey, what is this?
Irving?
Come on, Doodle, get out of there.
- Have you located the splurge gun yet, sir?
- I'm afraid I can't answer that.
- You're not at liberty to say?
- No, I don't know the answer.
- Do you know where the guns are coming from?
- I'm not at liberty to say.
You'll have to ask Captain Smolsky
that question.
OK, O'Dreary, break this crowd up.
- Have you located the splurge gun yet?
- No comment.
- Have you located the source of the guns?
- No comment.
Is it true
the gun is being used by only one gang?
No comment.
Can I give you a lift?
- Got a car?
- No.
So, how are you gonna give me
a lift, buster? Stand me on a box?
I thought we'd share a cab.
Forget it. I don't share fares.
I'm a lady.
Furthermore, I'm broke.
Who said anything about sharing fares?
No?
- Certainly not. I wouldn't dream of it.
- You wouldn't?
- I thought you'd pay.
- Swell.
Well, let's walk anyway. It's a nice night.
You shouldn't walk the streets at night.
It's dangerous.
We'll be OK. We've got your baseball bat.
Quit the "we" bit, buster.
You mean I'll be OK.
Which way are you going?
Which way are you going?
This way.
Then I'm going this way.
Here, let me take that.
No, it's all right.
Look, beat it, will you?
Mamma mia! What have you got in here?
Just a few books.
A few books?! You should start a library.
You should shut your mouth.
Have you eaten?
Ever since I was a kid.
Then how come you're so skinny, wisey?
- Because I watch my weight.
- I do that when I'm broke, too.
How about eating now?
No.
- Why not?
- I'm not hungry.
- You're not hungry?
- No.
I'm starving.
That's more like it.
That dress, that was awful.
The colors!
Good night, Fizzy.
Good night.
Good night, Fizzy.
Nighty-night.
Take it easy, now.
Don't do that, Knuckles.
It's how I got my name, Boss.
Well, knock it off, or
else change your name.
Tallulah, how much longer
do you want us to wait?
Coming, honey. You don't want me
to look a mess, do you, sweetheart?
Snap it up, will ya?
Put your flaps down,
tiger, or you'll take off.
You spend more time prettying yourself up
than there is time in the day.
If I didn't look this good,
you wouldn't give me the time of day.
I'll see you in the car.
Hey, Boss, how about my audition?
Tomorrow, Fizzy, tomorrow. I'm very tired.
A lot of important business to do.
I have to go home. Please. Goodbye.
I promise you, tomorrow, OK?
Tomorrow. Good night.
Are you coming, Velma?
Sure.
- Good night, Fizzy.
- Good night, Miss Tallulah.
Oh, my purse.
Going back to the speakeasy tomorrow?
It depends. I'm going to try my luck at the
Bijou Theatre. They're auditioning tomorrow.
Lena Marelli's show?
She walked out.
They're replacing the whole thing.
How long have you wanted to be a singer?
Since I was a kid, I guess.
Actually, I don't want just to be a singer.
I want to be a movie star.
In Hollywood.
What's so funny?
I don't know.
It's just that there was a time when people
were happy being railway engineers.
- Or nurses.
- Don't you want to be anybody?
Nah, I'm happy being me.
- And what do you do?
- Oh, this and that.
Crooked, huh?
Nah. In between.
What do you do for money?
I find fighters, boxers.
You do?
I used to fight, myself.
How good were you?
- I coulda been a contender, Charlie.
- You could?
Sure. But for a few things.
Like what?
Like a glass jaw.
Jelly legs. No stamina.
- And most of all...
- Yeah?
I got scared.
Some contender.
Do you want another drink in there?
- No. I've had enough.
- Come on.
I thought you didn't have any money.
I haven't.
- Then how are you gonna...
- Relax.
I'll think of something.
Two more drinks, please.
Look, pal, the food counter's closed,
the bar's closed,
my eyes are closing.
In fact, the whole joint's closed.
I don't want one anyway.
Hello.
Hello, operator, could you test this
line, please? I believe we have a fault.
It's Columbus 1,
9, 7, 8, 5.
I'll call you right back.
Thank you.
How much do I owe you?
Eight banana boozer specials
with double ice cream.
Three beef spitfires, two cream
Arizona doughnuts and a salami special.
Four dollars and 80 cents.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Let me out of here!
Let me out!
Come back!
Extra, extra! Read all about it!
"New Weapon Revealed." Read all about it!
We interrupt your commentary
on tonight's exciting ball game
to bring you a further bulletin of developments
in the latest outbreak of hoodlum gang warfare.
Police now officially state that the new
weapon of devious foreign manufacture,
known as the splurge gun, is now
being widely used by the mobster gangs.
We interrupt our interruption to go
straight over to our reporter Seymour Scoop.
This time, gangs have gone too far.
And what's more, what I have to tell you
is certainly not cricket.
There's a Mr. Bronx Charlie and company
to see you, sir.
I'll be right in after I get changed.
- Show them into the conservatory, Johnson.
- Very good, sir.
Say, honey, aren't you gonna play no more?
Later, my rose. Later.
OK, next.
Very nice. Yeah, it was lovely.
- Next. Get off.
- Can you get off the stage?
Don't give up your day job, OK?
I didn't figure on this many people.
They're all jugglers and magicians
by the look of it.
Don't worry. You've got no competition.
You'll walk it.
Come on. Hurry it up.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm very proud to be here.
In fact, I'm very lucky to be here.
Because as I was walking
along the sidewalk...
How do I look?
Fine.
I look terrible.
Believe me, you look swell.
- Honest?
- Honest.
- Cross your heart?
- Cross my heart. You look beautiful.
Next.
No, not that old chestnut again?
Let's get him off. Next.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I suppose you're wondering why we're here.
- You bet.
- Next.
Not one rabbit. Not two rabbits.
But three rabbits.
Next, next, next.
Next.
Yeah, great, OK.
Next!
Just get up there.
Come on, now. Next.
Blousey Brown. Singer.
She's pretty.
Great face, yeah. Could
do a lot with that face.
Oscar!
Oscar, Oscar!
Oscar, I'm back. I'll give you
one more chance, you hear me?
Lena, honey, you've come back to me.
I'll give you one more chance.
Otherwise, I'm out for good.
Out, out, out!
I'm not being humiliated in this place.
You know, I am the star and I
should be treated like that all the time.
OK, hit it, Joe.
Cheer up. There's a million other jobs.
Sure, buster. Standing on a street corner
with a hat to catch the dimes in.
It's only a matter of time.
Just cool down.
Look, buster, I've walked the
streets of New York for six months
and the only fancy steps I've done
is to avoid the man who collects the rent.
So, it takes time to be a movie star.
We can always come back tomorrow.
"Come back tomorrow!"
I spend my whole life coming back tomorrow!
Knock it off, Blousey. Cool down, will you?
- I will not cool down! I will not!
- Now, don't be stupid!
Will you be quiet up there?
I'm rehearsing.
I'm sorry.
Don't worry.
There's always Fat Sam's place.
- He won't see me.
- I'll talk to him.
- You know him?
- Know him? We're like that.
You're real good friends?
No, it's just that when I talk to him,
I cross my fingers he won't hit me.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
You're too good for the show, anyway.
Why don't we try Fat Sam's place, anyway?
You gotta be kidding.
- Hi, boys.
- Hi, Boss.
OK, relax.
Relax, will ya?
Well, guys,
I'd like to take this opportunity
of thanking you for your work so far.
Everything's gone swell.
- Just swell.
- Gee. Thanks, Boss.
Thanks, Boss.
Fat Sam must have had quite a shock.
Thanks, Boss.
Thanks, Boss.
Thanks, Boss.
Laughing Boy.
Yonkers.
Shoulders.
Bronx Charlie.
Benny Lee.
Any moment now, Fat Sam
will be crawling on his knees to me.
On his knees.
Where's my flower, Boss?
Soon, all Fat Sam will have
is the suit he stands up in
and a suitcase full of memories.
I don't have a flower, Boss.
What'd I do, Boss?
You goofed, Doodle. You dropped a gun.
And I don't allow mistakes in this outfit.
Cos mistakes put us all in the caboose.
And Sing Sing ain't my style.
No, Boss, not that. Anything but that.
I didn't mean to drop the gun.
It slipped out of my hand.
Button your lip, Doodle.
You're all washed up.
Boss, give a guy a break.
Get him!
And now, my friends, listen to
what I'm telling you. And listen good.
There's only room for
one Mr. Big in this town.
And that's me. Dandy Dan.
And, fellas, the time has come
for us to play our next card.
And believe yous me, Fat Sam and
his dumb bums ain't gonna stand in our way.
Look at me. I'm dancing!
Why are you shovin' me?
Hey.
What do you guys think you're doing?
Get in here, you bunch of peanut brains!
Get in here, you dummies!
Come on. We've got business to do.
Move it. Get in here.
Come on, you guys. Get in here.
We got business to do.
We can't waste all this time.
Right.
Let's get down to it.
Don't do that, Snake Eyes!
It's thinking time.
- And don't do that, Knuckles.
- Sure thing, Boss.
Let's start at the beginning. We're being
outsmarted by that lounge lizard, right?
Right.
- We've got to get back on top, right?
- Right back on top, Boss.
We'll kick that drugstore
cowboy right into line.
You bet, Boss.
Sure, we've been a little slow off
the mark. But dumb bums, we ain't.
No, dumb bums, we ain't.
Hand me a pie.
Louis, over there into the corner.
Me, Boss?
Why me, Boss?
Louis, into the corner.
What'd I do, Boss?
Nothing, Louis.
You see? Missed. OK, Louis.
You can sit down now.
Even a dumb mug like
Louis is too quick for us.
That's the root of our troubles.
We're behind the times.
I don't get it, Boss.
We ain't never gonna get back on top
with this kind of hardware, Knuckles.
It's old-fashioned. In short,
we've got to get ourselves that gun.
Hello.
- Do you want some information?
- Start giving.
Yeah. OK, thanks.
We've had ourselves a little break.
Who knows
the Hung Fu Shin laundry company?
Well, our friend on the telephone here
says that's where they stash the guns.
Right. Get moving!
Not you, Knuckles. You stay here with me.
Sure, Boss.
Oh. What?
I don't believe it!
The whole gang?
Everybody?
That leaves just you and me, Knuckles.
We're on our own.
What are we gonna do, Boss?
Don't do that!
How many times do I have to tell you?
Do nothing. Act like everything is normal.
Come tutte cose sono buone.
What does that mean, Boss?
You can't speak Italian?
No, Boss, I'm Jewish.
Then read the translations!
Oh, all this is good.
- Hey, Fizzy.
- Hey, Bugsy.
Still practicing?
Still practicing.
Suddenly
everybody wants to be in show business.
Hi, Tallulah, I've come to see Fat Sam.
- Is he in?
- No, he's busy, Bugsy.
Hi, Bugsy.
Hi.
Why don't you have a
drink while you're waiting?
Yeah. Why not?
OK, girls, go feed the ducks, will you?
Oh, Tallulah!
I said, beat it.
Long time no see, Bugsy.
Well, you know how it is.
Yeah.
You used to come and see me every night.
I've been busy.
Oh, yeah? Busy doing what?
Oh, this and that.
Hey, Fizzy, will you cut the ivory
and hit the shoe leather?
Yes, ma'am.
You know you're aces, Bugsy.
I've always found you kinda special.
Careful. You're racing my motor.
Oh, come on, Bugsy, give a girl a break.
Are you sure you got the right fella?
You're not like all those other saps.
- No?
- No.
You've got lovely brown eyes.
They'll be lovely black eyes
if Fat Sam catches us.
How about smearing my lipstick?
Careful, Tallulah.
If you come any closer,
I'll have to call my lawyer.
So, call him.
Blousey.
Blousey!
Blousey.
It's the broad about the audition, Boss.
He's busy, lady. Come back tomorrow, huh?
No, no, no, no. OK, honey, I'm all ears.
I'll be with you in a minute.
Carry on as normal, remember?
Don't let 'em know we're beat.
- Business as usual, right?
- Right.
- Calm and collected, right?
- Right.
This way, they don't know we're scared.
I mean, concerned.
Sure, Boss.
OK, honey, that's enough. That's enough.
A little contemporary for my taste,
but very nice.
You're hired.
That was great.
It really was, Blousey. It was terrific.
Blousey.
Blousey, come back, will you?
Aw, what's the use?
Sorry, Tallulah, I've got to go.
Blousey!
Where is she?
Blousey!
The show's going swell, Boss.
Good. That's just the
way I wanted it to be.
Tutte cose sono lo stesso, ricordare?
Same number of drinks, same everything.
Can't let 'em know they got us on the run.
Come here. I've got to show you something.
Knuckles, I've sent for someone
to help us out of our little predicament.
No ten-cent dummy. A specialist.
A doctor?
Not a doctor, you bilberry.
A hoodlum.
I thought we were hoodlums, Boss.
Not a dumb bum, Knuckles.
This guy is the real McCoy.
Not Looney Bergonzi.
- The Looney Bergonzi?
- Yes.
The very same Looney, off his trolley,
mad as a hatter, Bergonzi.
The best man in Chicago.
Here's what we do. We arrange ourselves
a meeting with Dandy Dan.
Looney hides in the back seat with me.
- You drive, right?
- Right.
But I don't drive, Boss.
You what? Cretino! You don't drive?
Right.
We get ourselves a driver.
- Oh, hi, Bugsy.
- Hi, Bangles. Is Blousey there, please?
She won't see you.
- Tell her I'm sick.
- You're sick?
Yeah. Sick of waiting.
Beat it, wisey.
Give a guy a break, will you, Blousey?
I've bought you some flowers.
I'll see that Tallulah gets them.
Quit being so smart. They're for you.
- Five minutes, girls.
- I have to go.
- I was thinking of getting a job.
- You don't get paid for standing in breadlines.
A legit job. We could save some money.
Enough for a ticket to
the coast and Hollywood.
Sure, sure. I'll believe it when I see it.
Hey, Bugsy, do you drive?
Sure. Why?
- How'd you like to earn some green stuff?
- As long as you don't mean cabbages.
Step inside. I've got a little
proposition to make to you.
Flowers! For me?
How nice. Grazie, amico.
Knuckles, put these in some water.
Hello.
Yes.
Who shall I say is calling?
One moment, please.
Hello.
Dandy Dan, is that you?
This is Dandy Dan speaking.
I want to arrange a meeting.
Yeah, I'll meet you. Where?
Out of town, OK?
Agreed. Just you and a driver, understand?
When?
Monday, 11 am.
Right. I'll be there.
Got him, the knucklehead.
Got him, the salami.
OK, Knuckles, let's go and enjoy the show.
They're coming.
OK, Looney. Keep your head down.
What can I do for you, Sam?
How about a small
dose of straight talk, Dan?
- Suits me.
- You've been taking liberties.
- I've been taking what's mine.
- Trouble is, it belongs to me.
Too bad.
Er, I'm sure we can talk this
over sensibly. I'm a businessman.
You're a dime-a-dozen gangster, Sam.
Button your lip! You don't talk
dirty to me. I don't like your mouth.
I have to have some respect, you know.
You'd slit your own
throat for two bits plus tax.
Keep your wisecracks behind your teeth.
Keep talking.
Er, I have my position to think of.
Right now, it's not worth a plug nickel.
You're a dirty rat, Dan.
You've been watching too many movies, Sam.
Looney, let him have it!
Charlie, Yonkers, it's a double-cross!
OK, yous guys. Freeze.
Looney!
Looney, what's the matter with you?
Hey, you guys!
Over here! Over here!
Come back, you dummies. They're
getting away. Come back here, will ya?
Come on, come on, come on!
Come on. Go. Go. Step on it. Go! Go!
Come on. Step on it!
Come on, Bugsy. We're gonna
lose 'em! Drive faster. Come on.
Dan, you're a rat!
Dan, you're a dirty rat!
They're gonna get us. Move!
Hold tight, Mr. Stacetto.
Get out!
Come on, Malone!
You're a dirty double-crossing
rat, Dandy Dan.
Turn, Bugsy. Hard!
There's a bridge down there.
Put the brakes on!
- Ha, ha! We lost 'em.
- We lost 'em.
Ah, shucks!
Dirty rats!
Get outta here, you dumb clucks.
Go "cock-a-doodle-do" somewhere else.
Here you are, Bugsy.
Treat yourself to a new suit.
Get rid of that laundry
sack you're wearing.
Why, thanks. Thank you
very much, Mr. Stacetto.
Oh, by the way. Here's my tailor's card.
Go see him. You ain't
gotta pay for six months.
- Thank you very much.
- Mi piacere. Mi piacere. Think nothing of it.
Come on. Let's go.
Tillie, don't you think I look kinda cute?
I don't know.
Come on, Dotty. What do you think?
I don't know, Bangles.
Maybe the color's wrong.
What are you talking about?
Purple's my color. I always wear purple.
Don't I always wear purple?
Yeah. Matches your nose.
Maybe it's the length.
It's the latest length.
I read it in a magazine. Look.
Maybe it's the frills.
They stick out too much.
They match your ears.
Frills are in. Look at this
picture of Lena Marelli.
- Lena Marelli is not Bangles Dobell.
- So? You think it'd look better on you?
It'd look better on a horse.
You're just jealous.
My looks are ahead of their time.
- They're what?
- Full of character.
- Kinda earthy.
- Yeah, like a bucket of mud.
You creep. Get lost!
How about you, Blousey?
Do you think I look terrible?
You tell me, Blousey.
Do I look cute or do I look terrible?
Honestly?
Bangles Dobell,
you look terrible.
What are you looking at, anyway?
Nothing.
Blousey.
Blousey.
Blousey.
It's for you. It's Bugsy.
Give him my love.
Thanks.
Hello.
Hello, Blousey. It's Bugsy.
- Where are you?
- Just around.
Look, I can't talk now,
but I just made myself 200 bucks.
You mean, you printed it yourself?
No, I earned it.
- Doing what?
- Oh, this and that.
Hang on a minute.
- I can't hear you.
- One second. There's a train going by.
Who gave you the money?
Fat Sam.
Fat Sam gave you $200?!
And the loan of his
sedan for the afternoon.
Fat Sam loaned you his sedan?
I don't believe it. You're putting me on.
I believe you.
Mustard with onions or ketchup without?
Mustard with onions.
Oh, and this, too.
- What's this?
- A present.
- A present?
- Open it up.
- You gotta be kidding.
- I don't kid around, do I?
Oh, Bugsy, it's beautiful.
- Nice, huh?
- What is it?
What is it? It's a viewer.
Here. Put your eyes in there.
- Pictures of all the Hollywood movie stars.
- Oh, Bugsy!
It's fantastic. It really is.
- If only I could really get to Hollywood.
- You can.
Sure, wisey. I know.
In the front row of the Roxy Theater
- on East 38th Street.
- No. Really get to Hollywood.
- Keep talking.
- $1 .80 for the viewer, right?
Ten cents for the hot dogs, right?
- That leaves 198 dollars and ten red cents for...
- Surprise me.
- Two tickets.
- Two tickets?
How many tickets do you need?
- To the ball game?
- To Hollywood, dummy.
Oh, Bugsy! That's really, really great.
- Knock it off, will you?
- You're putting me on.
It's the honest truth.
I'm picking 'em up tomorrow.
Now I'd better drop you off
and get Fat Sam's car back,
or else I'm not going anywhere.
Is anyone in there?
Hello?
Are you hurt?
Somebody help me! Ow!
Help me, please! Somebody, help!
Please!
They take your money, mister?
Yeah, nearly 200 dollars.
Thanks, anyway.
It was nice of you to help me like that.
It was nothing.
- You must be a boxer, right?
- No.
- You're not?
- No.
But that's the best punching I ever saw.
- You ever been coached?
- No.
- Ever thought of taking it up?
- No.
- Why not? You could be a champion.
- I never had the chance.
I know someone who could help you.
- You know Cagey Joe?
- No.
You must know Slugger's Gym?
No.
You don't know much, do you?
Nope.
What's your name, anyway?
Er, Smith. Leroy Smith.
I'm Bugsy Malone. Put it there, Leroy.
You got yourself a manager.
You know what the first thing
I'm gonna do with you is?
No.
I'm gonna treat you to one heck of a meal.
- I thought they took your dough, man.
- Who needs dough?
Aha! Come and take
a look at this, O'Dreary.
You've cracked it this
time, Captain Smolsky.
Get the plaster. We'll take a mold.
Come on. Let's get some plaster.
Now, be careful, now.
Up a bit. Up a bit.
That's it.
Left a bit. Left a bit.
Be careful, now.
That's good.
Come on. Hurry up.
Hold it straight. Now,
be careful. Be careful.
You idiot!
Hello. What?
It's no good, Boss. They've got
to the still. The whole lot's gone.
Not the sarsaparilla racket as well?
Get round here right away.
- I can't, Boss.
- Why not?
I'm all tied up.
I don't care how busy you are!
Get here right away.
Careful, you idiots!
No!
- O'Dreary!
- Don't worry, Captain Smolsky.
We'll break you out
when we get back to Headquarters.
- Hiya, Bugsy. How you been, man?
- Swell, Cagey Joe. Just swell.
I'd like you to meet
the next heavyweight champion.
Leroy, meet Cagey Joe.
Cagey Joe, this is Leroy Smith.
- You ever been in the ring before, kid?
- No.
- So you wanna be a fighter, huh?
- No.
Sure he does. He's a natural.
Look at those fists.
Did you ever see such fists?
Hit it, Leroy.
See what I mean? A born champion.
What's your name again, kid?
Er, Smith. Leroy Smith.
With your help, Cagey Joe, showing him the
ropes, he could be a champion in no time.
Ooh, that's fast!
Come on, Leroy. Come on!
He's got it.
Are you sure this is gonna work, Boss?
Of course it'll work.
It looks like a splurge gun.
Doesn't it?
Well, sort of, Boss.
Nonsense! Anything Dandy Dan can do,
I can do better. You know that.
All right, Knuckles. Are you ready?
Ready.
- Don't do that.
- Sorry, Boss.
All right. Take aim.
Ready.
Set.
Fire!
Missed!
It's back to the drawing board, Knuckles.
Knuckles!
Knuckles, speak to me.
Knuckles, parla con me.
Knuckles, dici una cosa.
Per piacere. Per piacere dici una cosa.
It's all your fault. Do
you hear me? Your fault!
Hello.
Not the grocery racket, too?
Yeah.
That's the whole empire gone, honey.
You hear me?
Everything.
And they'll be coming here next.
There's only one thing for it.
You'll have to get him to help me.
Who? The Lone Ranger?
No, you dumb dora. Bugsy Malone.
Call him.
I'm in trouble, real trouble, and all I've
got for company is a female comedian.
I need help. I'm really in bad trouble.
- Is he there?
- No, there's no answer.
Then get him to me poysonally.
Personally?
Poysonally.
"Poysonally."
So long, lover boy.
I like my men at my feet.
- What are you doing here, Tallulah?
- I brought you a message.
What's wrong with the Western Union?
I thought maybe you'd like the company.
Come on. I'll buy you a drink.
- Where?
- Er, how about Fat Sam's?
- Fat Sam's? Won't he be there?
- He sure will.
Er... maybe I'll stay home.
Don't flatter yourself, tiger.
He's the one that wants to see you, not me.
Come on. Let's go before
your suspenders strangle you.
I'm going to Hollywood.
Quit whistling, Fizzy. It makes me edgy.
Yes, Boss.
- Pour me a double on the rocks.
- Sure, Boss.
What's so funny, buster?
You find me amusing?
No, Boss. I'm sorry. I
wasn't smiling at you.
- Find my suit funny or something?
- No, Boss. It was your flower.
Oh, yeah. It is kinda droopy, ain't it?
Yeah, a little, Boss.
In fact, it's very droopy.
Very droopy, Boss.
Hold it a minute, will
you? It needs some water.
Don't let me see you laughing at me again,
else I'll ram that smile down your throat.
I'm Fat Sam. Don't ever forget that.
No.1 man. Top dog. Mr. Big.
Always have been. Always will be.
Now, get outta here!
Numero uno.
Be careful, Boss. The floor is wet.
Fizzy...
I'm gonna break your neck!
Fizzy!
Hi, honey.
- Here he is.
- Hey! Bugsy.
How are you doing, Sam?
Am I glad to see you.
- How are you?
- Good. You?
Pull up a chair.
- Fix him a drink, honey.
- Thanks. A special on the rocks.
So, what can I do for you, Sam?
Bugsy, I'm in a jam.
Dandy Dan's breathing down my neck.
Any minute now,
he'll take over my entire organization.
You've still got all this.
Not if Dandy Dan gets his way.
I won't have a dime for a shoeshine.
Tallulah, could you leave us
alone a minute? This is man's talk.
- Oh, that's all right. I'm unshockable.
- Go fix your make-up.
I've already fixed it.
Go make yourself more beautiful
than you already are.
You know that that's impossible.
Anything's possible.
All right. I'll go manicure my gloves.
Bugsy, believe me,
my gang's all gone,
my business is in ruins.
My friends don't want to know me.
I'm a wreck.
In short, Bugsy, I need your help.
Why me?
Because you're no mug.
You've got brains up there, not pretzels.
Nah, it's not my line.
$400?
Do we have a deal?
Hello?
Bugsy, it's for you.
I think it's Blousey.
You got a deal.
Hold on a minute. He
won't be a second, honey.
I'll see you, Bugsy.
Hello. Blousey?
What are you doing there?
- Just business.
- With Tallulah?
- No. With Fat Sam.
- Did you get the tickets?
Er... No. You see, er...
- You promised me.
- I know,
but Hollywood could wait a couple of days.
You had no intention of
taking me to Hollywood.
I do. There's just something else
I gotta do first, that's all.
You promised me!
Trust me, will you?
Look, I can't talk now. I'll call you.
- What can you see?
- Shh!
- Splurge guns!
- Where?
In the crates, stupid.
Look what it says on the truck.
- I can't.
- Can't you read?
Sure. I'm just a little short-sighted.
What's it say?
It says: Splurge Imports Incorporated.
Dock 17. East River.
- That must be where they keep the guns.
- Right.
Look out!
Oh, hi, Blousey. Miss your train?
- Blousey, what happened?
- A guy let you down?
- That broad needs her head fixed.
- Yeah.
- Er, yeah?
- I was wondering if I could have my job back.
Sure, sure. Everybody's welcome.
The more the merrier. Go right in.
- Hi, Blousey.
- Hi, Blousey.
Did you ever see a broad
carry a torch so high?
Yeah.
The Statue of Liberty.
This must be the place.
Two guards on the door.
Two on the roof.
Two on the pier.
What are we gonna do?
- Go home?
- There must be a way in.
We can't slug our way through them.
I guess you're right.
Let's get out of here.
What are we gonna do, Leroy, huh?
We need a few more men.
We need an army.
- There ain't no armies round here, Bugsy.
- Yeah, I know.
Hang on a minute, Leroy.
What's the matter with you?
Come on, you guys. Who's with me?
No.
What's the matter with all of you?
- Me.
- All right.
Yeah. Me, too.
And what about the rest of you?
What about you and you and you?
Why not? Aah.
Come on.
Is everybody with me?
- Yeah!
- Come on, then.
All right. There they are.
This is what we're gonna do. Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
- Get Baby Face.
Get Baby Face.
I am Baby Face.
What am I saying?
Right. I gotta have courage.
Give this to Baby Face. Hurry it up.
Big courage. Right. Right.
Give this to Baby Face.
Thanks. Just what I need.
OK. You know what to do.
- I'm scared.
- Come on. Will you get out there?
Yeah, right. Get out there. Right.
Yeah, I'm a big movie star now. Yeah.
Geronimo!
Get that guy!
Come on. Let's strike. Let's get him.
- Dummies!
- Come back here, you little thug.
Come on. Open it up!
Come on, everybody.
Let's open up these boxes.
Come on!
Give us a sack.
Sorry, Bugsy.
Right, gang. I don't have
to tell you how important this is to me.
This is the caper
that's gonna take the lid off City Hall.
- This is the big one.
- The big one.
- The shakedown.
- The shakedown.
- The payoff.
- The payoff.
And, I tell you, it's gotta be good.
It's gotta be neat.
And it's gotta be quick.
- It's gotta be good, it's gotta be...
- Quit repeating everything I say!
You shouldn't have any trouble. Just
er... Fat Sam and a few dance-hall girls.
OK. Good luck and off we go.
Three cheers for Dandy Dan. Hip, hip...
- Hooray!
- Hip, hip...
Hooray!
- Hip, hip...
- Hooray!
Too kind, guys. Too kind.
We've got to plan hard.
Jelly, Jelly. Open up!
They're here! They're here!
Shh! OK, everybody. Just act like normal.
Come on, you guys. Get to work.
All right, girls. Off you go.
Razzmatazz, let's hear some music.
OK, fellas. This is our moment.
Keep a cool head
and keep those fingers pumping,
cos, remember, it's
history you'll be writing.
OK, everybody, freeze!
Let 'em have it!
Amazing scenes have just been reported
on the Lower East Side.
There's been a frightful bad show...
So, this is show business?
This is getting ridiculous.