Bugs Bunny's Easter Special (1977) Movie Script

NARRATOR:

Bugs Bunny's Easter Funnies.

Starring Bugs Bunny

and all his friends:

Sylvester and Tweety,

Daffy Duck. Yosemite Sam...

...Porky, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn,

Pepe Le Pew...

...and Granny.

Oh. mercy me. It's a catastrophe.

If you are ill, how will

you ever deliver eggs this year?

Goodness gracious. Granny. don't you

think I'm worried about that also?

We must get a substitute

to! the Easter bunny light away.

It won't be easy. Granny.

I've got the perfect solution.

How about Bugs Bunny? He's a rabbit.

Bugs Bunny?

Oh. that's a great idea, Granny. Good luck.

MAN:

Okay. set up the next scene.

I really would like to be

your Easter bunny. Granny...

...but my contract says

I've gotta finish my pictures.

Oh. deal. I'm so disappointed.

Quiet on the set. Okay, roll them.

Noble knights of the Hound Table.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Ever since the accursed Black Knight

captured our Singing Sword...

...evil times hath befallen us.

One oi ye knights

must recover the Singing Sword.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

The Black Knight

has a file-breathing dragon.

But-- But-- But--

But the Black Knight is invincible.

Odds bodkins.

Hath the Knights of the Hound Table

turned chicken?

[ALL CLUCKING]

Okay. Bugs. we're ready 10! you.

They want me on the set. Granny. but

stick around. We'll work something out.

Oh. what a darling rabbit.

He'd be perfect as an Easter bunny.

[LAUGHING]

Only a fool would go after

the Singing Sword.

- A good idea, fool.

-What?

Unless you bring back

the Singing Sword...

...you will be put to the lack...

...burned at the stake and beheaded.

Be-- Be-- Beheaded?

[LAUGHING]

[CRYING]

They're ready 10!

the curtain sequence. Bugs.

See you in a bit, Granny.

All light. Quiet on the set.

This is a take. Roll them.

[SNORING]

So this is the Singing Sword. Big deal.

I wonder why they call it

the Singing Sword.

[SWORD SINGING]

SAM:

Drop that sword, Varmint.

Quick.

The Singing Sword's been stolen.

Wake up, fire-breathing lizard.

Stop breathing on me. you idiot.

Heh-heh. that was simple.

[SCREAMING]

Whoa. dragon. Whoa.

SAM:

Whoa!

[SPLASHES]

Stupid dragon.

How's the water. doc?

Open that bridge. Varmint!

Open ii. I say!

Close it! Close it! Close it up again!

Okay, rabbit, you forced me to use force.

[WHIP CRACKING]

Hiyah. dragon! Hiyah. dragon!

Hiyah. dragon!

Prepare yourself, rabbit.

I'm a-coming over the wall.

[CRASHES]

[SPLASHES]

You'll pay 10! this. Varmint.

[SNEEZES]

Ow!

You idiot.

[SNEEZES]

[SNIFFLING]

No. No. Don't sneeze.

you stupid dragon.

OI you'll blow us to the moon.

[DRAGON SNEEZES]

Dragons is so stupid.

Feel like picking up the hillbilly

square-dance sequence. Bugsy?

That's why I'm here. pal.

Okay. 'fellas. set up

the hillbilly dance number.

Excuse me. madam.

but I understand...

...you're looking for somebody

to play the part of an Easter egg.

Oh. deal me. no. not an Easter egg.

Wrong costume. huh?

Well. I'll just sashay

back to the wardrobe...

...and see you later, sister.

An Easter egg. Oh, that Daffy Duck...

...he's so silly.

Ha-ha-ha.

Quiet on the set. This is a take.

[IN HIGH VOICE] You'll care to practice

with me 10! the square dancing tomorrow?

Delighted. ma'am.

Same likewise. I'm sure. ma'am.

[GROWLS]

Oh. pardon me.

One of you gents got a spare nickel

so as I can juice up the jukebox?

- Here you is.

- Ma'am.

Thanks just all to pieces.

Sourbelly Trio. Coming light up.

Let's all square dance.

[SINGING]

Places all

Bow to your comer

Bow to your own

Three hands up and round you go

Break it up with a do-si-do

Chicken in the bread pan kicking out dough

Skip to my Lou, my darling

The old lady, out you pretty little thing

Promenade around the ring

Big foot up and little foot down

Make that big foot gather round

The lady steps back and two gents in

Back you go and forward again

Step right up with an elbow swing

Skip to my Lou, my darling

Allemande left with the old left hand

Follow through with a right-left grand

Meet your honey with a great big smile

Promenade Indian-style

[SINGING] Promenade across the ﬂour

Sashay right an out the dour

Out the dour and into the glade

And everybody promenade

Step right up, you're doing fine

I'll pull your beard you pull mine

Yank it again like you did before

Break it up with a tug of war

Now into the brook and fish for the trout

Dive right in and splash about

Trout, trout, pretty little trout

One more splash and come right out

Shake like a hound dog, shake again

Wallow around in the old pigpen

Wallow some more, you all know how

Roll around like an old fat sow

Allemande left with your left hand

Follow through with a right-left grand

Now leave your partner, the dirty old thing

Follow through with an elbow swing

Grab a fence post, hold it tight

Whomp your partner with all your might

Hit him in the shin, hit him in the head

Hit him again. the critter ain't dead

Whop him low and whop him high

Stick your finger in his eye

Pretty little ringing, pretty little sound

Bang your heads against the ground

Promenade all around the room

Promenade like a bride and groom

Open up the dour and step right in

Close the door and into a spin

Whirl, whirl, twist and twirl

Jump all around like a flying squirrel

Now don't you cuss and don't you swear

Just come right out and form a square

Now right hand over and left hand under

Both join hands and run like thunder

Over the hill and over the dale

Duck your head and lift your tail

Don't you stray and don't you roam

Turn around and promenade home

Corn in the crib and wheat in the sack

Turn your partner, promenade back

[THUDS]

And now you're home.

Bow to your partner.

Bow to the gent across the hall.

And that is all.

Bravo, Bugs. That was beautiful.

DAFFY:

Guess who?

- How's this, Granny?

-Merciful heavens.

Oh. I'm really sorry.

You're not what I had in mind.

I think I got an idea

that might work. Granny.

When I finish this next sequence...

...I'll introduce you to a couple of talented

friends of mine. They might help.

- Barbra Streisand and Clint Eastwood?

-No. Sylvester and Tweety Pie.

Oh?

DIRECTOR: All set, Bugsy?

-Coming.

Roll 'em.

Well. here I am.

Hey. just a cotton-picking minute.

This don't look like

the Coachella Valley to me.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Hm. I knew I should have taken

that left turn at Albuquerque.

Oh, well, I'll just ask this gent

in the fancy knickerbockers.

I beg your paid--

Pardon me. sir.

but could you direct me...

...to the shortest route to the Coachella

Valley and the big carrot festival therein?

Meh. what's up. doc?

Stop steaming up my tail.

What are you trying to do. wrinkle it?

Let's see now. Coachella Valley. Hmm.

Into Las Vegas, San Bernardino.

Of course, you realize this means war.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CLANGS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[SNIFFS]

Ah. Me public.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Ha-ha-ha. What a gulli-bull.

Ha-ha-ha.

What a nin-cow-poop.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[SNORTS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[HONKS]

Well. he asked 10! it.

And I really need somebody

to play the part of an Easter bunny.

Hey. that's you. Sylvester.

you're a great actor.

You've got class. style.

That's true, of course. Now let's

examine my stunning technique.

A circus. Suffering succotash.

I love circuses .

Oh. boy. Pink lemonade. cotton candy...

...peanuts.

Well. I must be early. no one's here yet.

[HUMMING]

[MEOWING]

“Lion, king of the cats“

King of the cats, eh?

Well, you're not my king.

[ROARS]

You wanna be king. eh?

Okay. king. I'm clowning you.

[ROARING]

[HISSING]

Camel.

Elephant.

Tiger.

A Tweety Bird.

A Tweety Bird?

I thought I saw a pussycat.

I did. I did see a pussycat.

[THUDS]

[LION ROARING]

[SCREAMING]

[ROARS]

Nyah. nyah.

Uh-oh. Here comes that pussycat again.

TWEETY:

Hello. pussycat.

[CRASHES]

Well. I guess

that solves my lion problem.

I just don't think this dumb old pussycat

can play an Easter bunny. Granny.

Just a minute, buster. Let the lady

make up he! own mind.

Watch me in this one. Granny.

I'm only stupendous.

Our new member

has come to us 10! help.

Would someone volunteer

to tell what BA has done 10! him?

I was a three-bird-a-day pussycat...

...until BA helped me.

Fellow members,

from now on my motto is:

“Birds is strictly for the birds.“

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

[HUMMING]

Good morning.

my little feathered friend.

I got it beat.

My willpower is indomitable.

TWEETY: Deal Diary. I know

you won't believe this. but today...

Let's see what's cooking on TV.

MAN [ON TV]:

After a basting...

...you'll find that your bird

will come out golden brown.

Every succulent morsel...

...will simply melt in your mouth.

How easy the white meat slices, huh?

[STOMACH GRUMBLING]

MAN:

Yum. yum!

Doesn't that look--

I gotta stop myself.

There. Now I won't be

able to get the bird.

Oh, Mr. Pussycat,

don't you like me anymore?

L-- I think“ I think--

I think you're--

I think you're delicious!

I'm sorry I had to do that.

I was afraid you might be weakening.

[MUFFLED]

Yes. I did weaken. Thanks a lot.

[SCREAMS]

Uh-oh. Here we go again.

[PANTING]

One little bird. just one. Just one. Yeah.

No one will know the difference.

No one. No one. Just one, then I'll quit.

I'll quit after one. Just one.

Just one. Just one little bird. Just one

One. One.

[CRYING]

I can't stand it.

I gotta have a bird.

I'm weak. I'm weak. but I don't care.

I can't help it. After all. I am a pussycat.

Oh. come now.

There's no need 10! this demonstration.

Birds and cats can live together

with brotherly love. Watch.

Come here. little bird.

You see? I really love birds.

[KISSES]

[LAUGHING]

- Stop it.

- Let me go. Let me go. I gotta have it.

- One little bird. Just one.

-Control yourself.

It's been so long. Let me go.

Like I said before, once a bad old

pussycat, always a bad old pussycat.

I'm sorry. Sylvester.

You're just not Easter bunny material.

Oh. that's all light, Granny.

Oh. deal. we just have to find someone

to play the Easter bunny.

Don't worry, Granny, we have

a lot of good actors around here.

Just a second. please.

Feast your eyes on this. Granny.

An Easter duck. Just the ticket.

Really, Daffy, since when can

a duck represent Easter?

Just a bit jealous. are you?

Afraid a simple duck will upstage

a stupid rabbit, huh?

Oh, it's not that, Daffy.

It's just that, an Easter bunny is cute...

...cuddly. lovable.

Well. why didn't you say so

in the first place?

I have an idea, Granny.

How about Pepe Le Pew?

He's lovable.

So exquisite. So expressive. So cool.

- Excuse me. Monsieur Le Pew. but...

- Please. madam.

I am. how you say.

emoting on the silver screen.

Sit down and enjoy.

[SINGING IN FRENCH]

[SHOUTS]

[BABBLING IN FRENCH]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[SHOUTS]

GENDARME:

Le Pew!

[PEPE SINGING IN FRENCH]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[HUMMING]

[SINGING]

[SHOP OWNER SHOUTING IN FRENCH]

[CRIES]

I am bankrupt.

[PURRING]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Remove that skunk...

...that polecat, 'from the premises.

[SNIFFING]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Ah. le belle femme skunk fatale.

My little darling.

It is love at first sight, is it not? No?

Do not come with me to the casbah.

We shall make beautiful

music together right here.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[KISSING]

Huh?

Ha-ha. The small one.

She is make herself dainty for me.

For the daintiness I can wait.

[SINGING “ALOUETTE"]

The time is up. Dainty or not.

we continue with this wooing.

This little love bundle.

Now she is seeking for us

a trysting place.

Touching, is it not?

You are very good. Monsieur Le Pew.

But of course.

I have practiced, you see.

Hello, baby,

I am the locksmith of love, no?

Come. darling. We must be grown-up

about these things.

Do not run away from the love.

Here-- What is this?

But of course. This little one wish to

commit suicide to prove her love for me.

What a sweet gesture.

Nevertheless. I must prevent it.

Saved.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

We die together.

I am not dead? No?

[COUGHING]

What's this? Is that you, pigeon?

Is that--? Huh?

Oh. pardon. mama.

But have you seen a beautiful

young lady skunk?

Where are you. pigeon?

I am looking somewhere to find you.

'Yoo-hoo. rabbit“. Where are you?

[COUGHS]

Aha! Perhaps you have returned in here?

Ale you here then. golden gill?

[DOOR CLOSES]

Who is this?

Oh. it is you again.

[COUGHING]

What can I do to help you?

Why do you lock the“? Oh. no.

Control yourself, madam.

You cannot be in earnest.

A joke. yes?

No.

You know.

It is possible to be too attractive.

Oh. you are so cute and lovable.

You'd make

an excellent Easter bunny. Pepe.

- You wish me to be an Easter bunny?

- Oh. that was the idea.

Madam.

10! Pepe to play the Easter bunny...

...is like Robert Redford playing la France.

Never. Not me.

Oh. deal.

What you need is a bunny rabbit

to play the Easter bunny.

- But, Pepe, I--

-Do not be modest, Bugs.

Monsieur Gunther.

show us Bugs Bunny as an actor...

...a comedian. a pantomimist.

Oh. you will love this. madam.

["THE BARBER OF SEVILLE“ PLAYING]

[HORN PLAYING]

[PIANO PLAYS]

Eh.

Next?

Excuse me. Monsieur Le Pew. bub-

Oh. deal. he's gone.

I'm sorry. Granny.

But where am I going to find

someone to play the Easter bunny?

Isn't there anybody

we haven't talked to yet, Bugs?

Well. there's--

FOGHORN:

Hold-- I say. hold everything.

I hear-- I say, you're looking for somebody

to play the part of the Easter bunny.

I don't think you could ever pass

as a cute little bunny rabbit, Foghorn.

Son-- I say. son.

you are tampering with my career.

I have taken the liberty of putting on one of

my spectaculars on that machine up there.

Okay, roll it, Oakley.

I'll show you. I say.

I'll show you what real acting's like.

“Coldest-J' I say.

“Coldest winter on way here.“

Bu. Feels like it's already here.

If I was to spend another winter

in this air-conditioned deep freeze...

I'd freeze my tail-- I say,

I'd freeze my tail feathers off.

Say now. that Widow Hen

has a nice. cozy little roost.

Maybe-- I say,

maybe I've been a bachelor too long.

[HUMMING “CAMPTOWN RACES"]

Good-- I say. good day. Widow Hen.

- May I come in?

- Sakes alive. a man.

Come light in. MI. Leghorn.

Here-- I say, here's the flowers

and here's the candy.

The courtship is now over.

So how about it, Widow Hen?

Will you many me?

Well. I couldn't--

But I need you, Widow.

I need your love to keep me warm.

I couldn't many you unless you prove

you'd be a good father to my son.

Hey, boy, come on over here.

Let's have a look at you.

This is a boy?

Why don't you take Junior outside

and play games with him.

That'd be a good way to see

if he'd like you for a father.

Good-- I say. good idea. Widow Hen.

I know the boy will be crazy about me.

Crazy. that is.

Come over here. boy. and I'll show you

how to make a nice paper airplane.

There she goes. Look at he! fly.

How's that 10! a--? Huh?

No. no. boy.

That's no way to make a plane.

That'll never" I say, that'll never--

Fly.

[MACHINE GUNS FIRING]

Oh. never mind. Einstein.

Knowing the answer

wouldn't do me no good anyway.

Let's play hide-and-seek.

[JUNIOR COUNTING]

That boy would have to use

a slide rule to find me in here.

[LAUGHS]

The genius must have

got his signals mixed.

He's heading in the wrong direction.

But-- But, boy. Over there.

The box. I couldn't.

Yeah. I know. Figures don't lie.

But still-- One side. boy.

No. I better not look.

I just might be in there.

Well. let's see what you're making

there. boy. Looks like sody pop.

Watch it fizz.

[EXPLODES]

[KNOCKING]

Who is it?

Here's your little boy back, Widow.

The deal's off.

But you said you

needed my love to keep you warm.

Madam. I don't need your love.

I've got“ I say. I've got my bandages

to keep me warm.

What do you--? I say. what do you think.

Granny? Do I play the Easter bunny?

Oh, mercy. I just don't want to hurt

your feelings, Mr. Leghorn.

Go on. hurt them.

No. You're just not our bunny.

- That's it?

- Sony. pal.

Why do they need an Easter bunny anyway?

What's wrong with an Easter chicken?

Stop the screening.

I've solved the situation.

What do you think, sister? This is

about as Easter-ish as you can get.

You just don't understand, Daffy.

I need an actor

to play the part of an Easter bunny.

What stupendous luck.

At this very moment...

...one of my best pictures

is about to be shown.

Start the screening. Gunther.

[SINGING]

Join up with me, so joyous and' free

That': the way to old Sherwood high

For I'm Robin Hood and I'm very good

At avoiding the Sheriff's eye

So we'll trip along merrily

Over the greensward so gracefully

To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it

Trip it up and down

To trip it. trip it. trip it. trip it

Sn trip it up and down

[LAUGHING]

Ho-ho and ha-ha. eh?

I'll ho-ho and ha-ha you, fat friar.

With my trusty quarterstaff.

Actually, it's a buck-and-a-quarter

quarterstaff, but I'm not telling him that.

Ho. Ha. Guard. Tum. Pally.

Dodge. Spin. Ha. Thrust.

Hm. Let's see now.

Something amiss here.

I'll run through it.

Ho. ha. guard. tum. parry.

dodge. spin. ha. thrust.

Got it.

Now then.

Ho. ha. guard. tum. parry. dodge. spin.

[GIGGLING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Knock it off.

How jolly can you get?

Prithee, old traveling clown...

...couldst thou directest me

to Robin Hood's hideout?

I wouldst fain join me up

with his band of jolly outlaws.

Look no further, good friar,

for I am he for whomst thou seekest.

I am Robin Hood.

Oh. cut it out. I'm serious.

If you don't know where he is,

just say so.

But honest and truly. I am Robin Hood.

Sure you are.

Look. give me a chance. can't you?

I'll prove I'm Robin Hood.

See yon rich. unwary traveler?

I'll rob him of his gold and

give it to some poor unworthy slob.

That'll prove that I'm Robin Hood.

Hm? Prithee?

Now then, fatso, watch as I put

a cloth-yard shaft through his wishbone.

I'm watching. jester.

[WHISTLING]

Oh. I don't know

how I could have doubted you.

Shall we spend

the gold all in one place?

Ho-ho, very funny. Ha-ha. It is to laugh.

[YAWNS]

'(nicks . and away'.!

'(nicks . and away .

[THUDDING]

Why. you.

Now then. yoicks. and away!

Ha-ha! Now.

I'm sorry. but I can't join you.

I'm convinced you're just

not Robin Hood.

And I'm just convinced that you could

never play an Easter bunny. Daffy.

And I'm just convinced

that you are a stupid sapsucker.

Oh, dear, I'm afraid

we've hurt his feelings.

He'll get over it. Granny.

Say. how would you like to see

Yosemite Sam act?

You think he could play

an Easter bunny?

Hey, let's find out.

Miami Beach! At last!

Yippee! Hooray! Yahoo!

[PANTING]

Yippee...

Hooray...

Man. dig this crazy beach.

Must be low tide.

Great horny toads, a trespasser.

Getting footy prints all over my desert.

Yah. mule! Yah. yah. yah!

Whoa. Camel. Whoa. whoa.

Whoa. camel. Whoa!

Come on. whoa!

When I say “whoa." I mean “whoa.“

[SINGING]

Singing in the bathtub

[MUMBLING]

Now. I hope that'll learn you.

you humpback mule.

Ehh. what's up. doc?

You with the sideshow around here?

I'm no doc. you ﬂea-bitten varmint.

I'm Riffraff Sam, the riffiest riff

that ever riffed a raff!

Your slip is showing.

Oh. deal. That pool Yosemite Sam.

Open the door! Open up!

Open up. I say! Open that door!

Close it! Close it!

Close it up again! Close it!

Uh-oh.

Yah. mule! Yah. yah. yah!

Mule! Yah!

[THUDS]

[DOORS OPENING]

I wonder if he's stubborn enough

to open all those doors.

[EXPLODES]

Yup. he's stubborn enough.

Oh, you sure outsmarted him

that time, Bugs.

It's just play acting. Granny.

and trick photography.

Oh. Granny. wait a minute.

I just talked to my agent.

He said if you could delay

Easter for a week...

...I could play

the part of the Easter bunny for you.

Oh, dear. We can't do that, it's--

[HOPPING]

The Easter bunny himself.

You recovered. How wonderful.

You'll be able to deliver

Easter eggs alter all.

We couldn't disappoint

the children now. could we?

[LAUGHS]

DAFFY [SINGING]:

We're picking an Mr. Easter Rabbit

The official Easter bunny he will be

I fooled that stupid rabbit again.

thus proving once and 10! all...

...that a duck is as good

as any big-eared bunny.

The judge is now advised

The winner gets the prize

[BOTH]

We knew it was Daffy all the time.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[ENGLISH SDH]

Bugs Bunny's Easter Special (1977) - full transcript