Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull's History Lesson (1976) - full transcript

Buffalo Bill plans to put on his own Wild West sideshow, and Chief Sitting Bull has agreed to appear in it. However, Sitting Bull has his own hidden agenda, involving the President and General Custer.

Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention please.

What you are about to experience
is not a show for entertainment.

It is a review of the down-to-earth
events that made the American frontier.

In less than 15 years, this great nation
will celebrate the 20th century.

We do not know
what glories await us in the future,

but we do know
the past that laid the foundation.

And that foundation
was not built from heroes,

but from the anonymous settler.

Their home was but a shack
roofed in with sod.

Oft-times, the floor
was made of clay.

One door shut out
the wind and storm,



one window greeted
the dawning day.

These brave souls
survived not only nature,

but the savage instincts of man.

Paving the way
for the heroes that endured.

Hey, Ned!
Get the rifle!

Welcome, then, to real events,

enacted by men and women
of the American frontier.

To whose courage, strength,
and, above all, their faith,

this piece of our history
is dedicated.

Cease action!

Cease the action!

From the beginning.
One! Two!

Isabel!
Are you wearing your costume?

I want everybody wearing their costume



- for the next rehearsal.
- There's been an acc...

Mr. Salsbury!

Mr. Salsbury!

Oh! What is it?

- The horse stepped clean through him.
- That's a real thing.

Ssh! Don't touch him!

All right, everybody get Eats Rabbit
to the dispensary right away.

- It's not Eats Rabbit.
- It's Brown Horse.

Dart, you guys,
help take him over there.

All right, now. Be...
Be careful with him, now.

Tell Joy that she should
not get on the horse from the back.

Looks fake. We're in
the authentic business.

I was thinking if we use
some fire, set the cabin on fire.

Fire?
That's not a bad thought at all.

So, one morning,
I'm wandering through the camp,

and I spot this...
this scrawny-lookin' kid,

lyin' underneath the wagon.

I drag him out,
I take one look at him,

and I know I can make him a star.

I ask him,
"What's your name?"

He says, "Cody, Bill Cody."

I say, "What do you do?" He says,
"I'm a scout and a buffalo hunter."

Well, I'm really gonna
write about somebody,

because I got a batch
of exciting new plots

I might take to Hickok,
except I'm mad at him.

So I say to the kid, "From now on,
your name is Buffalo Bill,

"and in six months, the whole
damn country's gonna know about you."

If we then had an Indian

on the top of that tower,

he could shoot a flaming arrow

right into the settlers' cabin.
That would give us the punch we need.

At a church service
in Deadwood City,

I met, and rubbed elbows with,
a young man named William F. Cody.

I was so impressed
by his skill as a marksman,

and his success as a hunter,

that I nicknamed him
"Buffalo Bill".

Morning, Missy.

- Hey, Nate, take a look at this.
- How's the healin' comin'?

Come and see how good
she's doin' with her left hand.

Show him, honey.

Watch this, Nate.

- Ah!
- Beautiful!

That's just like the old Missy.

And, sure enough, in a few months
those stories come out,

they're a big success,
and the kid comes lookin' for me,

scared to death about
the legend I created,

but real excited
about his new fame.

And, again, I say just one thing,
and only one thing.

I say, "Bill, any
youngster like yourself

"who figures to set
the world on fire,

"best not forget
where he got the matches."

I want you to back me up
on this against Bill.

Yes. The Indian music in the settlers' cabin
is the wrong ethnic. It's too Ukrainian.

In all my years in the
show business, I have never, ever...

Well, when I was a stock actor,
there was more organization...

which is why you've gotta make it
clear to Bill just how serious

this situation could be.

Is this something
I have to pay attention to right now?

What is this, Ed?

Are you listenin' to me, Nate?

Excuse me, boys, we're trying to have
a conversation here about Annie Oakley.

Don't mean to press you
on this, but I am Annie's husband,

and I have a solemn duty...

Damn it, Nate, are you
gonna tell Bill or not?

Maybe you'd...

better speak to him yourself, Frank.

- What can I do for you gentlemen?
- All right, 1 will.

- Mr. Butler...
- What?

Major Burke's in there with him now.
He doesn't wanna be disturbed.

- Oh yeah? Well, this is damned important.
- Now, he said...

- Bill, I don't...
- Good to see you, Frank.

Listen, er...
my glass got empty somehow.

Could you put a coupla fingers
in there for me? Maybe a fistful.

- Thank you, Frank.
- My pleasure.

Now, if you don't wanna
be Mexicans, I'm sure we can find

some very, very good people
who would like to be.

Oh, no, sir. We still
want to be part of the show.

- You do? You wanna be Mexicans?
- Well, no, we don't wanna be Mexicans...

You know, when I was
traveling with the troubadours,

there were times when
I was asked to be a colored.

- Now, do I look like a colored?
- Oh, no, no, sir.

But when I had to play a colored,
I was a colored.

I thought a colored,
I drank a colored,

I walked a colored.
I was a colored.

All right, you can be
Rodriguez and Ricardo.

You can be Morales and Miguel.
You can be Los Gatos Grande.

"Los Latiguerros de Mexico."
That has to do with whips.

Okay, that's it.
Los Latiguerros de Mexico.

I'm gonna give you
an almost top spot...

Listen, Frank, would you mind
gettin' out of the middle of my...

- Conference, Bill.
- My conference here,

and wait your turn
like the others?

- Ed!
- Yes, sir?

- I thought I said no interruptions.
- Yes, sir, Uncle Will, but...

- Then honor my wishes!
- Yes, sir.

Adios, pard. Wish me luck.

John, you got me,
you don't need luck.

Remember,
anything historical is mine.

Everything historical is yours, Bill.

- Here we go!
- Leaving by way of the dispensary?

Hey, yes, come on. Giddy-up!

- Major?
- Giddy-up! Yes, sir.

"Bull's eye. Heroic villains.
Revolutionize. Injuns. Whites."

- What's the plot, Major?
- The plot! The plot!

Why don't you
string those pearls together

and devise us a nice little
Buffalo Bill fable, uniquely original?

Whoa!

- Let me read it when I get back.
- All right.

I'll even give you the legend.

"Enemies in '76, friends in '85."

- Godspeed.
- Giddy-up, boy!

Giddy-up! Giddy-up!

Annie, Annie!

Excuse me, I, um...

Ah, the Shakespeare of the half-dime.
Sit down.

Something's up, Ned.

Bill and Nate
sent Burke outta here on the fly.

- Have you got any ideas?
- Burke gave me a few clues.

Somethin' about...

"Injuns and whites,
heroic villain, 50 bucks a week,

"foes in '75, friends in '86."

"Foes in '75...

"friends in '86."

Well, that shouldn't be
hard to figure.

Nate and Bill are
in the big time now.

They can afford to spend
fifty bucks a week.

Now, tell me,

what Injun villain do you know
who's worth that amount?

- Sitting Bull.
- Sitting Bull?

- Why, sure.
- Is he tame?

- What about the Army?
- The Army would love it.

They can't shoot him now.

Not till the Sioux chiefs
sign those treaties.

So, they put him in a Wild West,
make a broad-assed fool of him,

the rest is easy.

A rock ain't a rock
once it becomes gravel.

What'd he mean by,
"the rock's gravel"?

Just Buntline's way of saying
he's lost his power. He's tame.

- Mr. Keen!
- Every great author has his literisms.

- Mine are, um... revolving around...
- Mr. Keen, I heard the new act's

General Custer's brother.

- That's not what we heard, Eddie.
- No? Who'd you hear it was?

- We know who it is, Ed.
- Who? Tell me.

Sitting Bull.

- Sittin' Bull?
- Sitting Bull.

Sittin' Bull? I didn't know he was
interested in the show business.

If he wasn't interested
in the show business,

he wouldn't have
become a chief, Ed.

In my youth, I fought with
a young brave of the Sioux tribe

named Standing Bull.

And I beat him.

When he sat on the ground
after the fight was over,

and swore revenge on me
by all the gods of heaven and hell

I laughed at him,
and I called him "Sitting Bull".

I tell ya, there ain't
no business like the show business.

Hi, Jerry.

Sittin' Bull!

Now, a whole
lot of folks are saying that

Bill's drinkin' has destroyed
his memory. But it ain't so.

Besides, Bill wouldn't let anything
do a harm to his regard for history.

So you can put those stories to rest.

But Bill's drinkin'...
well, that's a different matter.

Why, just two months ago,
Nate Salsbury asked Bill

to become a foe of the cork.

And Bill promises solemnly

that he'll never be seen
under the influence again.

Until one day, Bill tells Nate

he's been givin' the subject
a great deal of thought

and he figures that he'll need
at least one drink a day.

Now, of course Bill's daily ration
is in a schooner,

the size of
a small shipping vessel.

♪ Verse-moi, verse-moi I'ivresse!

♪ Réponds a ma tendresse

♪ Réponds a ma tendresse

♪ Ainsi qu'on voit des blés... ♪

Here's the man
you've all been waiting for,

the man whose place in history,
and solid character,

has made him popular
throughout the continent!

Ladies and gentlemen,
the one, the only,

America's national entertainer.

Let's put one all together now
for William F. Cody, Buffalo Bill!

My star.

You see that girl on the left there?

- Again!
- The one that works in the laundry, Annie?

- Little Joyce?
- Don't point.

I saw her the other day,
between the tents, and...

and she was huggin' a man.

Ed, don't talk to Annie
while she's using live ammunition.

- Your hand is shaking.
- Honey, I'm doin' the best I can.

I'm fighting wind out here.

Get everybody to the podium,
for notement.

The entire company to the podium,
for notement!

On the triple! Hurry up!
To the podium!

Everybody here?

- You look very stylish, Missy.
- One more, that's all, honey.

- Then you've got to rest.
- Down.

both Buffalo Bill and I
had our reservements about the show.

Perhaps we'd bitten off
more than was chewable,

and that by enlarging our show
we had possibly disimproved it.

Oh, that's fine, that's really fine.

Oh, Bill, Bill, I have
got to talk to you about a mat...

Honey!

- Sorry.
- Jesus!

- What's up?
- We got a serious problem on our hands.

- Uh-huh.
- Ned Buntline's back again.

- He is?
- Yep.

D'you hear that?
Why didn't you tell me?

even down to the Indians.

Now, Nate Salsbury doesn't long-wind,

but he does wanna say
he's proud that you're proud

to be part of
America's national family.

And you, too.

- Nate!
- What, Bill?

Anyway, Bill, I know
how damned upset you'd be

if he was to write anything
harmful about our Annie.

- Buntline's on the ground.
- I know. He's back at his old table.

But all you have to do is
give me the word,

and I'll arrange for him to leave.

- Appreciate your concern, Bill.
- I couldn't do that, Nate.

Ah, listen.

You go on over there now, and
get rid of him without me tellin' him.

And don't you tell me
that you told him.

Right.

- Well, what's goin' on over there?
- It's, er... Brown Horse's funeral.

I told you three days ago,
we lost him.

- He was a Shoshone, wasn't he?
- He was.

Ah. You know, er...

I won the Medal of Honor for killin'
every Shoshone in a raidin' party in '72.

- Doesn't seem that long time ago.
- Yes, sir, you rode into the valley of death,

and rode out again.

Remember, son, the last thing
that a man wants to do

is the last thing he does.

- Nate.
- Bill, it's the best rehearsal yet, and your...

your entrance was the top,
it was tremendable.

- That was a good idea of yours.
- What was that?

Givin' the Injuns slower horses.

Bill?

Money in the bank!

Oh, remember what I told you
about tellin' me.

Right, I won't tell ya.

Business is good!
And it's gettin' better.

That's 'cause times are bad,
and gettin' worse.

That's when the show business
flourishes, when times are bad.

Hope it stays that way!

Well, I'll be Goddamned
if it ain't Nervous Nate.

Buntline, you're not doing
anybody a favour by being here.

I ain't in the favour business, Nate.

I want you to leave my camp,
right now.

It surely is your camp, ain't it?

And a damn fine
job you're doin'.

Much better than
I could've ever done.

What a fine citizen
you're makin' out of Bill.

Why, it don't even seem
like the same man anymore.

Never gets into trouble.
Never looks bad in public.

All I care about is the Wild West.

I'm going to Codyfy the world.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Because I'm the only partner
Bill Cody ever had

who tells him the truth.

And, in the end, we always agree.

I was taught that,
when two partners always agree,

- one of 'em ain't necessary.
- Look, Buntline,

we've just signed the most
futurable act in our history.

So I don't want anything,
or anybody, creating problems.

Who's that? The act?

Sitting Bull.

Sitting Bull! Well!

Nate, that's quite a coup.

Aah!

But, you tell Bill Cody...

that I ain't leavin' till he comes in here
and personally invites me out.

"We have one of
the great chiefs of the Sioux tribe,

"Sitting Bull, here with us.

"And he is going to be
in the same arena

"with the noblest
whiteskin of them all.

"I'm also speaking about the, er...

"the great counterpoint:

"Sitting Bull and William F. Cody,
Pahaska."

Nate?

John's gonna ride to
the top of Bill's list for this one.

"Charm, urbanity, sincerity, sweetness,
and youthfulness speak of the man

"as the recreation of God
in human form..."

Uncle Will?

Uncle Will,

- you only got a few minutes.
- Mm-hmm.

He must be
the big one in the red blanket.

Sure don't look like
no ordinary Injun.

I ain't buyin' no ordinary Injun.

Go on and help Nate
with the welcoming committee.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, son.

- Good trip?
- Hello, Johnny!

- How are ya?
- Great, great, great event.

Buck! Good day!

Got more scalps
than any other Indian chief alive.

But he ain't so big.

All set? Number four,
"Major Burke's Return", down stick.

Is this where you're gonna be?
Right, whenever you're ready.

We have met the enemy,
and he is ours!

Ah, that gentle Sweeney!

A melody for every
momentous moment.

Where's Bill?

♪ Well, hello

♪ Buffalo

♪ Buffalo Billy... ♪

- Where's Bill?
- I don't know.

Come here, Mr. Buntline.

Come over here,
and look at Sitting Bull.

The son of a bitch
must be seven foot tall.

He's getting smaller every year.

Ah, I'm ready to
dispose of my prisoner.

Sweet McLaughlin,
you are now in Codyland.

Sitting Bull is
no longer your prisoner,

but a star in the
Buffalo Bill heavens.

As far as I'm concerned,
he's a murderer,

and he's my responsibility
till I turn him over to Cody.

Just let me
introduce Mr. Nate Salsbury.

Nate, you must meet
this remarkable character.

This is James McLaughlin
of Standing Rock.

Yes, he'll be here momentably, er...
Trust you had a pleasant trip?

I had a miserable trip.
I don't like horsebackin',

especially deliverin' Indians
to some damn circus.

Ah, one thing
the Wild West show is not is a circus.

This is all just part of the
show business, part of, er...

Buffalo Bill's unerring
sense of theatrical timing.

That's my star.

He belongs to all of us, Nate.

Our star.

America's.

Oh, Nate.

Ah!

I hope you had
a comfortable journey, Major.

- Bill, dear Bill.
- Major.

Gentlemen!

In this moment,
fraught with friendship,

with history humming
harmonic overtones,

Bill, I have the distinct pleasure

of presenting Chief Sitting Bull.

Chief, it gives me pleasure

to present to you
the Honorable William F. Cody,

Buffalo Bill!

Well, I would just like to
take this occasion

to congratulate you
on your safe journey,

and to extend a
titanically momentous welcome

to Buffalo Bill's Wild West.

Now, me and my staff are
simply the best at what we do.

And what we do is
to make the best look better.

Now, when you find out
what we got planned for your act...

Hiya, Chief!

Golly, it's the runt!

My name's William Halsey.

Chief Sitting Bull has chosen
to speak through me.

Many moons of his incarceration
has emptied his strength,

and he wishes to rest.

- What's an incarceration?
- Jail.

Well, er... Halsey, Halsey...
That's a white name, isn't it?

Got a little white blood
in you there, Halsey?

Halsey, you tell your chief

that the people standing
in front of him are...

are part of the finest spectacle
in the history of the show business.

I've watched 'em all grow
from raw, plain talents into...

personages of importance.

Now, you tell your chief
that we can do that for him, too.

And I promise you, after
even one season in this show,

he'll never, ever be mistaken

for a below average,
run-of-the-mill, forgettable Indian chief.

Plus he's gonna have something
to fall back on in his later years,

something that, er...

Long trip, huh, Chief?

Well, er...

I just wanted to welcome you here,

and most specifically
to Buffalo Bill's Wild West.

You'll find that it, er...

ain't all that different
from real life.

Gentlemen, Injuns...

Come on, Brigham!

Why didn't you tell me?
I thought he was the big one, too!

- Where'd you get that idea?
- How big is the little one off the horse?

- Oh, um...
- Burke!

Don't worry, Nate.
He's big enough to fill the arena!

So Sittin' Bull's the little fella, huh?

He don't look so savage to me.

I'm gonna sleep with a shotgun
under my bed every night.

You know, Sittin' Bull's famous
for scalpin' folks in their beds.

I sure hope Bill can handle him.

I don't think it's dispropriate
to play a personal chord here.

Now, we all know
sociable chaff is cheap,

but history...

real history, is hard come.

And the man
I'm about to celebrate

is not a mere
personation of a patriot,

but the true monarch of genuity.

Scout, showman,

family person,

valued partner...

America's national entertainer,
William Frederick...

- Bill...
- Uncle Will!

Nate, we got a hitch.

Sittin' Bull don't wanna
live with the other Injuns.

Wait a minute.
Hold it, boys!

Now, what was that?

Sitting Bull doesn't
seem to like his recommodations.

Well, what's wrong?

He didn't exactly say, Uncle Will.

He just said he wants to live
across the river, on the flat ridge.

Bill!

He wants to live across the river!

If you're smart you'll lock them
dog-eaters in the stockade.

Nobody can cross that, Bill.
Not us, not you, nobody.

Gentlemen, that particular river
is impossible to cross.

We've already lost, I don't know,
three horses, six Blackfeet Indians,

and a bargeload of show equipment,
valued at... what is it, $16,000?

What about
if he does get across?

Man crosses that river,
he deserves the land.

Gentlemen, he could
be in a strategic position to escape.

You can't get there from here.

Impossible to cross, huh?

Boys, that's exactly
where I want Sittin' Bull,

on that flat ridge up there.

You see, that way I can watch him
all the time from my chair here.

McLaughlin...

See, I'm smart enough to know

that the difference between
a white man and an Injun

in a situation like this,

is us whites are smart enough

to know that an Injun
always turns down your first offer.

Laugh it up, boys!

Uncle Will,
how did Sitting Bull cross the river?

- Er... good evening, Mr. Halsey.
- Why are they coming?

- Shall we holler for help?
- We are the help.

Nate, Nate!

Shouldn't we holler for help?

I'll handle this with Bill.

Bill, Sitting Bull's on his way here.
He seems to have his whole group with him.

Our unpredictable friends
seem to be on the warpath,

and they're moving
in this direction!

I see 'em!

Uncle Will, they crossed
the river again, and they ain't even wet.

They did, huh?

We're with you, Bill.

Sonia, finish that later.

Well, Chief...

Twilight raid, huh?

Tell me, what have you
got on your mind?

Sitting Bull has said that

he is here
by the will of the Great Spirits,

and, by their will, he is Chief.

His heart is red and sweet,

for whatever passes near
tries to lick him with his tongue,

and the bears taste the honey,
and the green leaves lick the sky.

If the Great Spirits have chosen
anyone to be leader of their land,

it is Sitting Bull.

Halsey...

you tell Sittin' Bull
that Buffalo Bill says

his leaves can turn
whichever way he wants,

so long he knows
which way the wind is blowin'.

I think I gave him back
the same kinda murky logic

- that he gave us, whaddaya think?
- Mmm.

Halsey, what Buffalo Bill
means to say is...

Buffalo Bill doesn't need
an interpreter, Burke.

What Buffalo Bill means to say is
that Sitting Bull is here

to relive great moments of his history

for the pleasure of
thousands of payin' customers.

Sitting Bull says
that history is nothing more

than disrespect for the dead.

When'd he say that?
He don't even look interested.

Sitting Bull's mind
is rested and clear,

and he is ready to negotiate.

What are you talkin' about?
That's already been done. Right, Burke?

- Burke?!
- Oh, right, right, right.

Sitting Bull wants blankets.

Well, they're cold.

Do you think we could write
eight, ten, twelve blankets into the deal?

Sitting Bull wants blankets
for all his people at Grand River.

Well, now, wait a minute!

What do you think this is?
An Army surplus store?

There are only 106
Hunkpapa Sioux left at Grand River.

1067?

God, Burke, five years ago we
counted ten thousand braves alone.

Mr. Halsey,
the Wild West is delighted

to give the blankets
as a gift to those people.

Burke, get a story out on this
on the transmit right away.

- I'm sure we can get features...
- You got it, splash it over the front pages.

"The benevolence of Buffalo Bill."
Great human interest stuff.

A fascinating follow up to
the historic events of today, Chief.

All right, negotiations settled.

Weary, weary,
but there's no rest for the press.

Get over there, and see
that he don't steal anything.

Sitting Bull wants six weeks'
salary to send to his people now.

He wants what?
I thought Burke took care of that?

- What the hell is goin' on here?
- Music box. Makes music.

♪ O come, let us adore him.
O come... ♪

What's that
supposed to be? Ed!

Didn't make this thing deep enough.

Mr. Halsey, what you're
talking about is prepayment,

and we don't do that
without a contract.

Also, he will own his own photographs.

Hell he will!

I got all photographic rights
and historics!

Sitting Bull says a man may never
let go of his face.

Therefore, he will own
his own photographs.

My ass!

Nate!

That's highway robbery,
and he knows it.

Ed, would you...
I ain't gonna put up with it!

You ain't gonna put up...
We ain't gonna put up with it!

It's bedlam in here. I can't think.

I'm gonna lie down
and take a nap.

Margaret!

Stop the singin'.
We lost the moment.

Are you gettin' sharp with me, Bill?

Margaret!

You see?

You've upset Buffalo Bill.

Halsey, tell the chief

we pay for work performed.
However...

if he wants to put his signograph on a
six-months contract, that's another matter.

Ed! Let it be!

- No contract.
- Why not?

All the other top acts have them.

Sitting Bull will not make a contract
he may not be able to honor.

Why wouldn't he honor it?

Sitting Bull stays only
until he sees the Great Father.

- Great... You mean the President?
- Yes.

Did Burke promise you that?

Sitting Bull no longer accepts
promises from white men.

His dreams told him
that this is the place

he would meet the Great Father.

Sitting Bull is here
because he dreamed

he'd meet President Cleveland?

Heave!

Dead on, Bill.

Well, what does she
have to say this time?

"Dear husband, your deeds
as a frontier hero

are pale compared to your adventures
with opera singers and milk maids."

Heave!

Dead on, Bill!

Heave!

"You are also the
cheapest man who ever lived,

"and a profane drunkard as well."

Heave!

- That's Mr. Oakley there.
- Name's Butler, Burke.

Oh, Frank, Frank, sorry!

Jesus! Hold it, honey.

"therefore, I have instructed
my lawyers to draw up divorce articles

"that will ensure
our separation for good,

"and make me a
rich woman in the process."

Now, I want you
to miss this one,

just till you get the feel of it.

Heave!

Take your time.

You can miss by a lot, darlin'.

That was good.
That was right in the middle.

Did you wanna hit it in the middle?

- "...your wife..."
- Heave!

"Lulu."

Heave!

- John!
- Major.

I'm gettin' some
longer cigars from Jules.

I think you'll feel
more comfortable with 'em.

Bill!

Buffalo Bill,
monarch of the West,

it delights me to present this
compellingly cornucopious canary,

this curvacious cadenza in
the compendium of classical chanson,

this collation
of champagne and columbine,

this cultivated
coloratura from Colorado...

words fail me...
Lucille DuCharme.

Of course.
Handel's Rinaldo.

♪ Che crudel! ♪

Double heave!

Why, what a shot you are!

My second husband, Count Eggenweiler,
was a champion trap shooter.

Trap shootin's
a different thing, ma'am,

not takin' anything away
from your second, er...

deceased...

husband.
He used a shotgun that sprayed.

The pistol's a more...

exactin' weapon.

Burke, would you take
the young lady to my, er...

private viewing chair?

Morning, girls!

Hey what's goin' on out there?
I wanna show Bull his Custer act.

Well, they're just waiting for
the down stick. Here's your scenario.

- Aha.
- About Cleveland.

At the first, he's marrying some
society deb at the end of the month.

The second, he's got a Republican
Congress to contend with.

I think we can safeably advance
Bull the money he wants.

I mean, if he's waiting
for Cleveland to show up,

- we've got him for life.
- Mm-hmm.

Bring Sittin' Bull and Halsey
over here.

You keep those
tune tempos tight, Bill!

- Is the Grey all right?
- Yeah.

She'll be ready
to dance tomorrow.

Morning, Chief.

Er... Halsey, er...

if you and the Chief
will follow me,

in just a few short steps,

he's gonna become part of
America's national family.

If you're gonna watch,
watch from the other side, Buck.

- All right, Izzy?
- Okay, short boss.

Oh, er... by the way,

you can tell the Chief
we've decided to give him

the two-week salary
as token of our friendship.

Sitting Bull admires the big Grey.

- Say hello to Buffalo Bill.
- Poor thing is frightened.

- That bird can't get out of there, can he?
- Oh, Bill!

I hope you realise that
we're the only producers

to have the courage to show
the red and the white

without taking sides.

Well!

Hello, there, Chief.
Which way are your leaves blowin'?

- Nate, you'd better get this thing goin'.
- Down stick!

"I see General George Armstrong Custer

"leadin' the courageous men
of the 7th Cavalry

"deep into the Injun territory
known as Little Big Horn,

"exhausted from carrying the wounds

"of a cowardly Sioux ambush
from the day before.

"Suddenly, Injuns appear,

"led by the fiercest Injun
of 'em all,

"Chief Sittin' Bull!"

Oh, Chief,

we got a colored
stand in place for you

'cause he's the closest thing
on our staff to a real Injun.

"Custer knows it's gonna be
the fight for his life."

"Sittin' Bull uses an old Injun ploy.

"He fakes Custer into thinkin'

"it's gonna be an honorable
duel to the death

"between the two great leaders.

"Then... wham!"

Fire!

"George gets shot in the back
by all the other redskins.”

Sitting Bull says
the battle did not happen that way.

Sitting Bull was not present
on the battlefield.

He was making medicine,
and dreaming.

He saw many horses upside down,

and blue skeletons
floating up to the promised land.

Halsey, I think...

What'd he shoot that gun for?

Hey, Chief, put that gun down.
You're gonna hurt somebody.

Sitting Bull thinks
you're a great marksman.

He can see how you killed
so many of his buffalo.

♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager

♪ Und griin ist sein Kleid

♪ Und blau ist sein Auge

Jd Nur sein Herz ist so weit

Jd Nur sein Herz ist so weit

♪ Mein Jager

♪ Kennt Wege und Spur

I Und Madchen bertickt er

♪ So viel er nur will ♪

Someday, my hair's
gonna be as long as Custer's...

Was.

♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager

♪ Und gran ist sein Kleid

♪ Und blau ist sein Auge

- ♪ Nur sein Herz ist so weit... ♪
- Margaret!

♪ Nur sein Herz ist so weit

♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager

♪ Kennt Wege und Spur... ♪

Margaret, I've been
sittin' here thinkin' about us.

I'm glad, Bill.

The more I think about us,

the less I think about
Sittin' Bull, and...

that ain't good for the Wild West.

I'd never interfere
with the Wild West.

The point bein'...

that little bastard
ain't gonna make my life easy.

I can't deal with him
and deal with you, and...

be my best at the both, so...

what I'm tryin' to say is,
I think it's time for you to go.

Oh, no, Bill, no.

And the quicker you go,

the quicker you can start missin' me.

♪ Alas, my love,

♪ You do me wrong

♪ To cast me off

♪ Discourteously

♪ For I have loved... I

Margaret, go on.

Halsey!

What the hell
are you doin' here?

Sitting Bull has come to tell you
what he will do in your show.

Show...

God, the sun ain't hardly up yet!

Sitting Bull's thoughts
do not have a time schedule.

Ah.

Let me see if I can
get myself together.

Go on, sit down.
Tell Sittin' Bull to sit down. I'll be...

Jesus Christ, what an hour.

- What...
- What's goin' on?

I don't know, but...
you keep your eye on him.

I'll go get your uncle.

- What's happening?
- Get Burke.

Goddamn Injun
caught me with my...

Bull woke everybody up.
Bad Bull!

"My father has
promised me this land,

"and, in protecting it,
I have had a hard time.

"The rivers flow
with the blood of my people.

"The wind blows the echoes of lies.

"The white man has stolen the truth."

That is a great
and classic Indian face.

You'll build
a village at Killdeer Mountain.

Sitting Bull's people will be working.

Children will be playing.

They're waiting for Colonel McLaren
and his horse soldiers to talk peace.

The Sioux will have no weapons,

and embrace the soldiers
with open arms.

Then McLaren will slaughter every man,
woman, child, and dog in the village.

Historible.

- It'll work.
- Nate, you're losin' your grip.

We can still do
the Indians attacking,

just we're gonna add music.

That is what Sitting Bull
has chosen to do.

Chief...

we haven't had a heart to heart,

and I think it's about time.

Now, I...

See, I've listened to Halsey.

He's got a lot of guts,
'cause he did...

insult me in my own house.

He called me a coward.
Said I murdered, er...

women, old men...

er... children...

And dogs.

Yeah, dogs.

Er...

you're not gettin'
much of this, are ya?

You got till noon to get outta here!

You're finished! Fired! Through!

I can't believe that little runt'd
treat me like that.

It's harder
bein' a star than an Injun.

Everything on this table
I'm takin' with me.

And... what's this?
How did I ever...?

- Annie, I'll pack your guns now.
- Oswald, don't touch my guns!

Uncle Will!

Uncle Will...
somethin'... awful bad... Annie...

- We already know, Eddie.
- She's leavin'.

- We're talkin' about that.
- Nate, she goin' through with it?

Looks like it. I spoke with her,
Burke spoke with her. Frank...

- She seems dead set about it.
- Frank, is that right?

'Fraid so, Bill.

You know I can usually steer her
wherever you want her to go,

but not this time.

Why is everything
such a big problem around here?

Frank, is it a matter of money?

- Well, money might help.
- Oh, come now, Frank.

Money has nothing to do with it.

What we're talking about here
is Annie's principles.

- What about my principles?
- What about 'em?

- I think you should have her leave.
- Nate!

- They're hard lines, Nate, but...
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I can't let her go.
She owes me too much.

I'll go down and talk to her,

but I ain't changin'
my mind about that Injun.

You're right. Hold fast on...

Bill, if it comes up,
or if it'll help at all,

you can tell her I love her.

And you take this.

How would you like this?

Here, take it.

- Wayne!
- Yeah?

Come gimme a hand.

- We got problems.
- No problem, Bill.

You know, I could expect disrespect
from anybody except you.

Oh, this is pretty! I'll take this.

Why are ya sittin'
in the middle like this?

What did Bull ever do for you?

He wanted to show
the truth to the people.

Why can't you accept that just once?

Because I got a better sense
of history than that.

Besides, I say
what goes on in this show.

Not some Goddamn Injun runt
and his half-assed half-breed!

I'm sorry.

- Got any whisky around here?
- Annie, where you want this chair?

If you send Bull to Standing Rock,
they'll kill him.

That is not my problem.

You can have this.
It'll just about fit you.

Do I want this? Here.

The little bastard can stay!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm Nate Salsbury and, on behalf
of my partner, Bill Cody,

we want to welcome you to the
season's opening show of America's...

Mr. Cody, we're ready
for the Grand Parade.

- How's the hat?
- Fine.

You didn't even look at it.

Buffalo Bill's Wild West!

And what would the Wild West be
without brave cowboys?

- Mr. Cody, you're on in two minutes.
- I heard you the first time!

Fierce Indians.

- Darlin', you have to go in the carriage.
- Will you stop nagging?

I'm not naggin', honey.

And the dynamically
decorative Dubuffets!

What a beginning, eh, folks?

It's a full house, Mr. Cody!

Oh, God, they're gonna whip up

- all kinds of dust.
- Where's Oswald?

Oswald?

I think he's one of the cowboys.

As the brave cowboys
assume protective positions

so that you,
our honored guests,

will be able to witness
the true wildness of the West,

without bodily risk
from nature's fury.

And pursuing the brave,
invulnerable buffs is our star,

America's national hero,
Bill Cody... Buffalo Bill!

Let's hear it for Buffalo Bill!

Buffalo Bill!

Yes, he was truly born to entertain.

No ordinary man
woulda had the foresight

to take credit for acts of bravery and
heroism that he couldn'ta done.

And no ordinary man could realise
what tremendous profits could be made

by tellin' a pack of lies,
in front of witnesses,

like it was the truth.

No, Bill Cody
could only trust his senses.

And when his senses fail him,

he might just see things
as they really are.

And now, as the trooperies reassemble...

would you join in the singing...

of Buffalo Bill's
favourite American song...

by Francis Scott Key...

'O Say Can You See...

It's Buffalo Bill's belief

that this could, and should,
be the next national anthem.

Would you please rise.

♪ O say can you see

♪ By the dawn's early light

♪ What so proudly we hailed

♪ At the twilight's last gleaming

♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars

♪ Through the perilous fight

♪ O'er the ramparts we watched

♪ Were so gallantly streaming?

♪ And the rocket's red glare

♪ The bombs bursting in air

♪ Gave proof through the night

♪ That our flag was still there

♪ O say does that star-spangled

♪ Banner yet wave

♪ O'er the land of the free

♪ And the home of the brave? ♪

And now,
to open our show in the big way,

Buffalo Bill and Nate Salsbury
present a feature attraction

unique and unparalleled.

The foremost woman marksman
in the world,

the little girl of the Western plains,

the peerless Lady Wing-Shot,

Annie Oakley!

Annie Oakley!

Fairest flower of the West!

Assisted by Frank "the world's most
handsome living target" Butler!

Say hello to Frank Butler!

Steady.

- Tell him to get the cigar steady!
- Move it up a little bit, Frank.

Coward.

Ah! Hey!
Look at that! She did it!

Right smack in the middle!
She did it!

Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you!

- We love you, Annie.
- Real good, honey.

Speed it up! Speed it up!

Make sure you get 'em running.

Come on!
Move it on out!

Run it again!
Come on, faster!

Pick it up! Faster, now!
Come on! Faster!

Come on, get back on it! Faster! Faster!

Faster!

Move it!
Move that horse!

For her grand finale,

Miss Oakley will attempt,
for the first time anywhere,

the two-for-one axe shot.

She will split a bullet
with the axe.

Here! It's here!

Thereby hitting
both targets simultaneously.

You can take your
sweet time on this, honey.

They'll wait forever.

total concentration,

- so please can we request...
- Watch my head.

that you remain
as quiet as possible.

Come on...

The bullet will split
and hit those two targets.

- Is... Is that possible?
- It's never been done before.

Come on, honey.

Oh, how close!

- A graze! A graze!
- Once again!

She missed, but so close!

Give her a big hand,
ladies and gentlemen!

Nate, once again!
Again!

- What?
- Frank, again.

Oh, no, Annie,
you don't have to do that.

- We love you anyway.
- I can do it, Frank.

Oswald, get back.

- Wait, honey, I lost my hat.
- Frank...

You 'bout ready?

Stay with us, Lord.
One more time.

Hey! Hey!

That wonderful?

Annie Oakley!
Annie Oakley!

Thank you!
Thank you!

Thank you!
Yeah! Honey?

- Annie!
- More!

- Honey, where you goin'?
- He moved it.

Honey, please, take a bow.

- Thank you!
- Frank, what are we gonna do?

I don't know, Jules,
but I can't do the damn act myself.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

we want you to meet a man who can
stick to any animal that wears hair.

Say hello to the King of the
Cowboys, Buck Taylor!

All right, pull banner.
Is the old man ready?

Is the old man ready?!

Sitting Bull, you're on next!

Halsey...

you can tell Bull
he's finally gonna discover

what the show business
is all about.

He's gonna come back in here,
and get down on his knees to me

to do the Custer act.

Bull's gonna suffer
a worse defeat than Custer ever did.

Custer could die.
Bull's just gonna get humiliated.

the most murderous,
the most colorful redskin alive.

Here he comes,

the battling Chief
of the Hunkpapa Sioux,

Sitting Bull!

♪ ...durch die Gestrauche blinkt

♪ Uns Licht uber den Rasen streut ♪

♪ Und die Nachtigall flétet

♪ Wandl'ich traurig Von Busch

♪ Zu Busch

♪ Uberhtillet vom Laub

♪ Girret ein Taubenpaar... ♪

Oh, what's the matter, darling?

Don't you like that song?

♪ Wandl'ich traurig Von Busch zu... ♪

Morning! You're up.

Listen, I, er...
I'm really sorry about last night.

It was the first show
of the season, and

the boys like to
kick up a little dust.

I don't like to
have them drink alone.

I must have been
kind of a disappointment.

You look awful pretty in that light.

Actually, er...

I've become something
of a morning man.

Now, there's no pressure.
You see, at night...

And the whisky
we get here is, er...

kinda dulls the...

You haven't said good morning
to the Flying Dutchman yet.

Hi, bird.
He's all right in there?

I mean, he doesn't have to
get out a lot, does he, or...?

Get back!

Oh, what are they doing
to that poor little person?

- They're just horsin' around.
- Oh, Bill, you gotta go help him.

Stop them. They might hurt him.
Please!

All right.

Don't you look, baby. Terrible!

You just stretch out there.
I'll be right back.

Nasty, nasty men, baby.
Don't look.

Ow!

All right, boys! All right!

Buck, put him down. My God,
it's like a bull fightin' a flea.

Yeah! Put me down!
When I get down from here...

You big ape!

- Son of a bitch!
- What?

Buck! Let me down from here!

Nate!
Nothin' but squaws over there.

Nate! Burke! Get over here!

- Goddamn!
- What is it?

- Frank...
- Wait! Stay behind the tent!

Try to get up there.
Go on.

- What's the commotion?
- Come here.

- What's the problem, Nate?
- Well, take a look up there,

and you'll see the problem.

What were you doing?

Oh, I was just
having a little conversation.

'Course you were.
You always are.

- What's goin' on?
- What do you think's happenin'?

Sittin' Bull's makin' his exit.

I wonder where that
little son of a bitch went?

Buck Taylor, get over there
across the river

- Right!
- and see what's goin' on.

- Uncle Will...
- I'm busy, son.

Look at that boy go!
Rides like the wind!

- Er... the Injuns.
- Where?

My God, is that...?

Why is it so dark in here?

Hey, son, get down!

Aha!

Gotcha!

Boys, I want a posse. A tough posse.
We ride in ten minutes.

There's no way to outfox a fox.

No, we're not taking this lyin' down.

You sorry son of a bitch!
Now where you goin'?

- Oof! Damn. Damn!
- What's wrong?

Well, I got trouble on my hands.

Not that little cowboy?
He wasn't hurt or something?

- No. Injuns.
- The Injuns?

- They've escaped.
- All of them?

No, just the dangerous ones.

I gotta go get 'em.

How long will you be gone?

As long as it takes.

You know I'd never let anything
come between us and our little...

unless it was somethin' real,
like this.

Goddamnit!
Where's my real jacket?

Hey, let's go get Bill.

Everybody here?

Well, posse's formed.

You know, knowing that you're...

layin' there waitin' for me

will only serve
to stiffen my resolve.

Oh, my baby!

How could you be so clumsy?

You could have harmed him.

I hate birds!

Cody, don't you ever harm
my Flying Dutchman!

Ed, what are you doing on that horse?

- I'm goin' with you, Uncle Will.
- Get down off that horse.

Your mother'd never forgive me.

Jules, get on the horse.

Get on the horse!

Move out!

We're with ya, Bill.

Darlin', don't worry.
Pray for me.

Now, where's that Injun,
supposed to be on this gate?

Come on!

Come on!

When Bill's dressed for a ride,

and mounted on that
high-steppin' stallion of his,

any doubts concerning
his legends are soon forgotten.

Yes, Bill's fine physical portrait

hides whatever faults
his mind might possess.

But even the least seasoned
of trappers will tell you:

"if you don't know what it is
you're truly after,

"you're better off
staying at home."

There they are.
Uncle Will!

- Uncle Will!
- Control yourself.

That'll teach Sittin' Bull a lesson.

It's a question of
law and order, Annie.

Uncle Will knows the law,
and Sittin' Bull's out of order.

Well, here they come.
All right, up stick.

Now, as soon as they come over
that little ridge, we're gonna...

Wait a minute.

I don't see Sitting Bull.

Hold it!

That's odd, they're not there.

They must be there.
Maybe they're in the back.

I don't see Sittin' Bull.

I don't see no Injuns.

Maybe they just didn't find 'em.

Oh, sure, they found 'em.

No Injun's ever gotten away
from Uncle Will.

Maybe they're dressed
in some of our clothes.

All right, up stick.
I think that's them.

But no down stick.
Just up stick.

They're not there.

Oh, my God.

I don't see any Indians with 'em.

That's 'cause there
ain't no Injuns with 'em.

Bill is the greatest
Indian hunter of them all,

and he led fifteen
of the greatest trackers

into a territory that he knows better
than the back of his own hand,

lookin' for an old man,
a giant, and five boys.

It's not your fault, Bill.

We made it clear
from the very beginning

that we have a camp,
not a prison.

Nate's right.
We're not in the prison business.

Better get to McLaughlin
and tell him that he's gone.

"Sitting Bull escapes
middle of the night

"after first trying to
burn down the arena."

I sure thought you'd catch him.

Uncle Will, they weren't
that far ahead.

Ed, why don't you go close the gate?

Never saw him
refuse a drink before.

I don't care what anybody says.

God bless Buffalo Bill!

God, he shot himself!

Bill!

- Will!
- Bill!

Bill!

Damn bird!

Bill!

Get outta here!
Sit down!

Damn bird!

Thought it was you!
What are you doing?

Bill, slow down!

Bill...

Well, I hate birds!

I hate birds, too.

What?

- Bull and Halsey are out there.
- What? How?

They must have tracked us.

Nate...

Come on in, boys!

Couple of those big buff got loose.
We had to go chase 'em down.

Too bad you couldn't join us.

Where were you?

It's the first moon of the month.

That's not what Buffalo Bill asked you.
Now, where the hell have you been?

During the day of the first moon,

Sitting Bull visits the sun
in the mountains

while his squaws move
the teepees to the moon's path.

Damn it, Halsey,
stop sunning and mooning us.

Now where the hell
have you've been?

- You were up in the mountains, huh?
- Yes.

Don't you think that's
a little dangerous?

Sitting Bull is familiar
with mountains.

What if I had sent
somebody after ya?

Sitting Bull was not hiding.

Sitting Bull has been
with the mountains,

and he realizes now
that he must do more in the show

than ride the pinto.

Well, there we are,
we're back in business.

Foes in '76, friends in '85.

Burke, I still don't know
what he's talking about.

Would you care to explain that?

Sitting Bull has decided
that he will do

the only thing that he sees here
that he would want to show his people.

And what's that?

Sitting Bull
will make the big Grey dance.

Responsibility's a funny thing.

It's a lot different for stars
than it is for ordinary folk.

Oh, please, Mr. Buntline,
this man is in pain.

That's why stars spend
so much time in front of the mirror.

Seein' if their good looks
and their word delivery

can overcome their judgment.

Not now, Mr. Buntline, please.

When a star like...

like Buffalo Bill Cody
makes a judgment,

it becomes a commitment.

It's got to stick,
no matter what the risk.

The only way...

that I could have avoided
seein' him on that mountain

is if he never went to
that mountain at all.

Now, I can understand
why he lied to me, because...

he's gotta look good
in front of his people,

the same way I gotta
look good in front of mine.

But I am generous and flexible.

That was very good,
"generous and flexible".

Ladies and gentlemen, please,

will you try to find
the places that we have specified

for each and every one of you?

Welcome, braves.
We welcome you with open arms.

Wranglers! Wranglers on
the Deadwood coach!

Go easy there. I know
the ladies in the interior

perhaps like to be bounced around
once in a while,

but it wears out the equipment,
and it blurs the picture.

This is an extremely impressive
assemblage. Now, pay attention.

Nate? Er... would you convey
to Buffalo Bill that we are ready?

- I'm generous and flexible...
- Bill? They're ready.

- Bill!
- I'll be there!

Each of you
is an outstanding personage...

- Generous and flexible.
- Lin his own self.

That includes you Indians, too.
Don't forget that.

I choose to overlook
the entire incident.

face the camera with
all the confidence in the world.

You're the best there is.
There isn't anything better.

A hundred years from now,

this picture will still be
in existence. Remember that.

This is the way
people will remember you.

Bill, good morning!

Ladies and gentlemen, Injuns
I didn't know you were ready. I'm sorry.

We...
We just got ready.

Get ready.

Look at the birdie!

Hold it!

Nate...

I don't want Sittin' Bull
standin' next to Annie Oakley.

Why?

'Cause I don't want Sittin' Bull
standin' next to Annie Oakley.

Fans won't like it.

Have him stand over there
with the other Injuns.

Okay.

I don't want Sitting Bull
standing next to Annie.

Er... Halsey...

It'd be a better idea, I think,
in view of the sun factor,

if you and, er... the Chief would move
over here among the other Indians.

Sitting Bull
will stand by Annie Oakley.

Er... no, don't worry about how
you feel about where you oughta be.

Just come on over here
where you should be.

Sitting Bull
will move from this place

for twenty-five
American dollars.

Nate.

Halsey, you're in Codyland...

I swear that Injun
plans these things.

All right.
Now, what do you wanna do?

Let him stay where he is.

We're gonna put Halsey's face and hat
on Buck Taylor

and Sittin' Bull's on
Johnny Baker, and vice versa.

That way, those two Injuns
will be over there with the other Injuns.

And don't show him the photograph.

Er... Buffalo Bill's right.
It was better the first way.

Make your photograph.

All right. Closer!

Everybody hold your breath, now!

Dart!

Hold it a minute, Brewster.
Hey, Dart! Dart! Pss!

- Come here!
- Go on, I'm gettin' my picture took.

What?
Wayne, will you... What's...

Dart, will you go down and find out
what's the matter with that darkie?

Never gonna get my picture took!

What you want, Wayne?

There's a wire just come in from
the President of the United States.

Now, damn it, Wayne, don't be funny
at no time like this.

Look, I'm tellin' you for real!
It's down there. Tell 'em.

There's a wire comin' in from
the President of the United States.

What's that?

You know I wouldn't
lie to you 'bout anythin' like that.

That's too important.

- Is that right?
- Let me show it to you.

Well, who told you?
You can't read neither.

You more trouble than you worth.

I was standin' right here
when it was comin' in.

You may take the photograph now.

Injuns gear their lives to dreams.

And when an Injun dreams,
no matter how far-fetched,

he'll wait till he dies
for it to come true.

White men, they're different.

The only time they dream
is when things are goin' their way.

I'm no expert on the subject,

but it seems to me that
what Sittin' Bull does

is a hell of a lot cheaper
than mountin' a Wild West show,

which is just dreamin' out loud.

"The Honorable William F. Cody.

"Grover Cleveland,
the President of the United States,

"has chosen to celebrate
the first stop

"of his honeymoon excursion
with the former Frances Folsom,

"in Buffalo Bill's
Wild West camp at Fort Ruth.

"The..."

"The scheduled time of arrival

"is Thursday, October 18th
at eight o'clock p.m."

Night!

We've never done a night show before.

President Cleveland comin' here?

Uncle Will! It's just like
in Sittin' Bull's dream.

I bring up
this dream business because...

well, because things are beginnin'
to take on an unreal shape.

Ah, now, now,
just think for a minute.

Sittin' Bull...

Just put yourself in
that Injun's place.

You sit in your teepee,
and you dream.

And then you go to wherever
the dream might take place,

might come true.

Then you wait
for real life to catch up.

Mr. President, Mrs. Cleveland,

honored guests!

I'm Nate Salsbury.

And I can tell you
that Nate Salsbury

has never been as proud in his
long career in the show business,

as he is tonight

to present our very first

after dark request performance.

And to dedicate it to you,

our highest American,

and your fine new wife.

Ed's in the box.
Burke's up there in the box.

Laughin' and jokin'
with the President

while we're stuck down here
in the cold.

Grover Cleveland.

Now there is a star!

- Sure big enough, isn't he?
- God, he's bigger than Buck Taylor!

He's a hell of a lot
bigger than you are.

God, he's the biggest man
I've ever seen.

Meet America's national entertainer,

the man who is the Wild West,

the honorable,

William F. Cody,

Buffalo Bill!

Mr. President, Mrs. First Lady,
distinguished visitors,

I wanna take this occasion
to welcome y'all to my Wild West.

Most people'll tell ya

that it is the father
of the new show business.

And, well...

may the sun never set
on this great nation,

unless it comes up again
in the mornin...

Mr. President,
our weddin' present to you.

Buffalo Bill writes all
of his original sayings himself.

All great men do.

He's quite a horseman.
The greatest horseman in the United States.

Your Highness?

Damn it.

One, two, three,
one, two, three...

Beautiful!

Just like day, darlin'.

What a shot!

He loves us!

Coat.

Sleeves. Come on!

Not yet.

Not yet.

Okay, now!

Ready, darlin...

Isn't that amazing, my dear?

Oh, yes.

- Ready?
- Ready. Ready, darlin...

- Ready, darlin'.
- Okay?

Ooh!

You hit him, Annie.
I think you hit him.

Honey, end it. Honey!

- She got him.
- No more, no more. End it.

It's part of the act.
No, no, everything's quite all right.

Is this part of the act?
Is this part of the act?

Get out, quick.
I'm gonna faint.

One, two...

Oh, my God,
I'm bleeding to death.

- But don't run.
- I gotta get out. I'm gonna fall down.

♪ The ambush and slaughter
no longer be feared

♪ The tomahawk buried
shall rest in the ground

♪ And peace and goodwill
to the nations abound

♪ And peace and goodwill

♪ To the nations abound ♪

Presenting Chief Sitting Bull!

- What's he saying?
- I don't know.

I don't understand a word
he's saying. Do you?

No, but I can guess.

What! He was joking.

Oh, he's got a sense of humor.

His way of making
the Grey mare dance.

Whoo!

I don't care if he is an Indian,

that's un-American.

Bravo, Bull!

To Sitting Bull
and his dancing Grey!

Or President Cleveland's
closest call!

Right, get ready.

We're not bringin' everybody in,
because, you know, we have hundreds...

And everybody remember,

be polite, be brief,
and most of all be yourself.

Remember, it's the President
of the United States. You look fine.

No, wait one second.

- Is everybody ready here?
- All ready, Nate.

It's very kind of you to do this.
It's gonna mean a great deal to the troops.

Well, it'll mean something
to us too, you know.

- Thank you very much.
- All right, come ahead.

how exciting it's been for me
to be back at the Wild West show.

I feel so grateful for...

- Thank you, sir.
- By the way, how are you feeling?

Did you get hurt today?

No, no, no, no.
Annie never misses.

Oh, I see.
Well, you know best!

- Thank you, sir.
- And what do you do with the show, sir?

- Oh, I do the, er...
- Mr. Major!

You should
get together with Sitting Bull.

Both of you scared the daylights
out of me today.

Move it along, Buck.

- You had a very fine act.
- Thank you, sir.

You boys are splendid.
How do you even think of this act?

God, I'm gonna need this.

Frank, where've you been?
I'm pregnant.

- You're what?
- Pregnant.

Congratulations, Miss Poole.

Jesus, Lord.

I sang it at the Teatro Del Roma.
In Roma, you know.

And I sang...

♪ Una voce poco fa

♪ Qui nel cor mi risuono

♪ Il mio cor...

Ain't never seen
black eyed peas like this.

- You were impeccable.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.

Here we go. Come, come!
Champagne and refreshments for everyone.

- Grovie? Can Nina sing now?
- Oh, yes, my rose petal. Go ahead.

- Ah, ladies and gentlemen!
- Thank you.

Our distinguished
and delightful First Lady

has an announcement to make.

Quiet, please.

And now, for your entertainment,

my dear friend
Miss Nina Cavallini will sing...

'Qui sola vergin Rosa'.

'Qui sola vergin Rosa',
in Italian.

Thank you, Nina.

Brava!

♪ Qui sola vergin Rosa

♪ Come puoi Tu fiorir?

♪ Ancora mezzo ascosa

♪ E presso a morir

♪ Non ha per Te rugiade

♪ Gia colta sei dal gel

♪ Il capo tuo Gia Cade

♪ Chino sul Verde stel

♪ Perche sola ignorata

♪ Languir nel tuo giardin?

♪ Dal vento tormentata

♪ In preda a un Rio destin?

♪ Sul cespite tremante

♪ Su colgo giovin fior

♪ Chi su questo core

♪ Cosi, morrai d'amor ♪

Brava! Bravissmal!

Brava!

You know, that's the nicest
invitation I ever got.

Impossible to resist.

- What a cultivated lady she is.
- I'm always trying to spread culture.

Why don't you plan to
stay around for a few days?

And I'll show you what
the real Wild West is like.

I'd love to,

but my secret life with
General Benjamin is, er...

wild enough.

Hello!

- Magnificent.
- Thank you so much.

Yes, it was a...
Actually, it was a...

Bull, what are you doin'?
Halsey, what's he doin' here?

Great Father is here in answer to
Chief Sitting Bull's dreams.

This party's by invite only,
and you don't have an invite.

No more, Bull!

You go!

- That way.
- No, no...

- Let them in, Mr. Gordman.
- Goodman.

Ha. Come in.
The chief is a wonderful comedian.

Good to see you.

Great Father, Sitting Bull
has waited to ask you

a very simple thing
for his people.

Mr. Halsby, I remind you that,
in government, nothing is simple.

This simple request will satisfy
Sitting Bull's people

for the length of time,
Great Father.

Let me point out that
I'm "Great Father"

for only four years at a time.

I face a Republican Congress.

I suggest you deal directly
with your local agent.

We have talked to the agents.
They will not help.

Well, isn't that an indication
your request is impossible?

But this request is very simple.

Halsey, the President's
tryin' to tell you

that nothin' ain't simple.
Don't you understand American?

Ed...

Sitting Bull's request is simple.

Sitting Bull's dreams told him that
he would meet the Great Father here,

and he had hoped the Great Father
would honor his request.

I'm very sorry, sir.
There's nothing I can do about it.

But the Great Father
has not heard Sitting Bull's request.

That's just the point.
It doesn't make any difference.

It's out of the question.

Well, what a
confrontation, Mr. President.

- He's angry with you.
- I know.

It's been some day
we've had here.

Oh, please. We've had
a delightful day with you.

Oh, yes.

Mr. President,

I now understand why
you're our President.

It's uncanny.
That basic pioneer perception.

You see, the difference
between a President

and a Chief in a situation like this,

is the President always knows enough
to retaliate before it's his turn.

Write that down. I'll use it
at the Convention next month.

Well, Mr. President, I...

I know you're tired
and wanna hit the hay.

My personal bed is at your disposal.

- Oh, Buffalo Billy!
- That's very nice.

Ain't hardly even been used.

Where will you sleep, Buffalo Bill?

You could sleep with me,
Uncle Will.

No, Ed...

I wanna sleep out on the prairie
underneath the moon,

and listen to
the lullaby of the coyotes.

See, I ain't always been
a comfortable man.

You know, it's a man like that
that made this country what it is today.

- Hello there, Dart!
- Oh, hello, Mr. Cody.

- Get your work done, boy?
- Yes sir. Everything's all spick and span.

Well, that's nice. You know, it's too bad
the Injuns can't learn from you coloreds.

But then of course they'd have
nothin' to fuss about,

and Injuns do like to fuss about.

Yeah, they do.

You know, Mr. Cody,
I ain't never thanked you

for givin' me the opportunity
to work for you.

Well, don't thank me, son.
I mean, it's just part of my upbringin',

to help the coloreds all I can.

How's that, sir?

Well, my daddy was killed
tryin' to keep slavery outta Kansas.

How'd he do that, sir?

Well, my daddy hated slavery
with such a passion,

that rather than lettin' the
coloreds get in to becomin' slaves...

- Uh-huh.
- he just fought to keep 'em all out of the States.

- Oh.
- He was tryin' to protect ya.

And he caught a knife
in his lungs for the trouble.

Sorry, you wanna come in and
have a drink? I'll buy you one.

You can sit up front with me.

Oh, no, no. It's late, sir,
and I ain't got time to do that.

Oh, and I've gotta go feed your horse.
Thank you for askin'.

- A little of the Old Bonded there, Crutch.
- Hello, Mr. Cody.

Well, I'll be damned!
Buffalo Bill himself.

Hi, Ned.

- Buy an old friend a drink, Bill?
- Another glass.

I was beginnin'
to think you didn't exist.

But here you are
in the glorious flesh,

and what a sight for sore eyes!

Oh, you sure passed me by.

Like plantin' a seed, and
watchin' it grow into a tree,

too tall to climb.

You got everything
you ever wanted, my friend.

You even got the President
of the United States

sleepin' in your bed, right now.

Let's forget all that stuff,
Ned, and get drunk.

I can't forget it, Bill.
Just lookin' at you reminds me of it.

- It's a living.
- Oh, no. Way past a living.

Why, a hundred years from now,
they'll still be shoutin' your name.

You're not one of the boys
no more, Bill.

You're not like ordinary folk.

Why, it gives me goose bumps
just bein' this close to ya.

You still got the knack
don't you, Ned?

You make it easy, Bill.

You were probably the best
there ever was.

And I'd like to have you
back with the show.

Except that...

Frankly, Nate
can't stand the sight of you.

Guess nostalgia
ain't what it used to be.

You ain't changed, Bill.

I ain't supposed to.
That's why people pay to see me.

Well!

This has been the most
soberin' experience I've ever had.

Damn near a religious awakening.

Buffalo Bill...

The thrill of my life
to have invented you.

Crutch?
What do I owe you for my stay?

Nothin', Mr. Buntline.
You don't owe me nothin'.

Thanks, Crutch.
'Cause that's what I got.

Nothin...

I'm off to California to preach
against the vultures of Prometheus.

Ned!

Whoa-whoa.

I'll see you around.

See you in hell, Bill!

Buffalo Bill! Buffalo Bill!

Buffalo Bill!

Bill, I wanna cut
the glass bowl shootin' today.

What the people really want
is to see you ride.

Sure, Nate. You was
just in Europe, wasn't you?

Did you give my regards
to the Queen?

Yes, they're still
talking about you, Bill.

Can't wait for your return.

Bill, this'll be our biggest year yet.
We're gonna gross over two million dollars.

Listen, did I ever tell you
that I hold the record

for a continuous ride
on the Pony Express?

- 322 miles in eighteen days.
- Oh, I know.

Sit down and have a drink with us.

No, it's too early for me, Bill.
You're lookin' great, just great.

Yeah, well, I feel great.
I feel great.

Feel as though
I could go on forever.

Marty, did I ever tell you that I hold
the Pony Express record

for a continuous ride?
320...

well, some odd miles
and eighteen horses...

People might get
the wrong ideas, you understand?

Goddamnit, you
mustn't talk like that.

- What's goin' on? Trouble?
- Oh, big news. Big news.

They shot Sitting Bull.

Dead.

- I'll be damned.
- Oh, my God.

Oh, honey,
don't cry. It's all right.

Annie? What is it?
What's... What's...?

Darlin'?

- What's the matter? What happened to Annie?
- Sitting Bull's dead.

What?

McLaughlin's police, at Standing Rock.

They say he was trying to escape.

He was ridin' the big Grey
Bill gave him.

They say the horse danced
when they shot the Chief.

- Who's gonna tell Bill?
- Nobody.

There's no point
bothering him with that.

What was...

I don't dream.

Must be somebody out...

We're not alone.

Oh no, don't buckle.
He ain't really there.

That is wiggling. Rain.

Well...

Cost me a lot of wampum.

A lot of wampum.

Aah!

Well, all right.
All right, suit yourself.

You ain't even the right image.

Halsey! Get out here!

Tell the Chief I think you've got
all the brains. I'll tell him myself.

Chief!

Halsey's got all the brains.

Except Halsey,

he don't mean a word he says.

Which is why he sounds so real.

Real...

Let me show you somethin' about...
about real.

My God!

I was what? I was a boy.
I was a... eleven-year...

Eleven?

Nine!

I was nine.

I caught this big buff,

right smack in the middle of...

God meant for me to be white.

God meant for me to be white.

And it ain't easy.

I got people with no lives...

They're livin' through me.

They're proud people,
but they're people to worry about.

And another thing.

My daddy died without
ever seein' me as...

as a star.

Tall...

profitable, good lookin'.

Custer was a star.

Oh, he was a good man.

Gave coffee and sugar to the...

Oh, don't do that.
He was a good man.

He gave the Injuns
reason to be famous.

Bull!

Bull! Damn you!

You see, in a hundred years,

I'm still gonna be
Buffalo Bill, star!

And you're gonna be the Injun.

My God, look at you.
Look at you.

You wanna stay the same.

Well, that's goin' backwards!

Buntline...
Oh, damn you, you deserter.

I'm curious, Chief.

My friends are curious.
My women are curious.

My fans are curious.

And they pay me for it.

I give 'em what they expect.

You can't live up to what you expect.

And that makes you
more make-believe than me,

'cause you don't even
know if you're bluffin'!

The difference...

between a white man
and an Injun, in all situations,

is that an Injun is red.

And an Injun's red
for a real good reason.

So we can tell us apart!

So we can tell us apart.

My God,

ain't he ridin' that horse right?

Well, if he ain't...

then how come
all of ya took him for a king?

You see...

I ain't got nobody to talk to.

Except you.

And you ain't even there.

Well, carve it.

Yeah, carve it...

All of us.

Carve our names!

And celebrate the event.

Ladies and gentlemen.

For the first time in the history of
the show business, Nate Salsbury

and William F. Cody
present a conflict

between two of the greatest
warriors in the western civilization,

staged with spectacular realism.

Behold Chief Sitting Bull,
warrior of the western plains,

who has murdered more white men
than any other redskin,

who has spoiled more white women
than any other redskin.

This bloodthirsty leader
of the Hunkpapa Sioux

has challenged Buffalo Bill
to a duel to the death!

Sitting Bull is being played
by William Halsey.

Buffalo Bill,
known as "Pahaska" to the natives,

which means "long hair”,

accepts the challenge
for his beloved country.

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