Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull's History Lesson (1976) - full transcript

Buffalo Bill plans to put on his own Wild West sideshow, and Chief Sitting Bull has agreed to appear in it. However, Sitting Bull has his own hidden agenda, involving the President and General Custer.

Ladies and gentlemen,

your attention please.

What you are about to experience

is not a show for entertainment.

It is a review of the down-to-earth

events that made the American frontier.

In less than 15 years, this great nation

will celebrate the 20th century.

We do not know

what glories await us in the future,

but we do know

the past that laid the foundation.

And that foundation

was not built from heroes,

but from the anonymous settler.

Their home was but a shack

roofed in with sod.

Oft-times, the floor

was made of clay.

One door shut out

the wind and storm,

one window greeted

the dawning day.

These brave souls

survived not only nature,

but the savage instincts of man.

Paving the way

for the heroes that endured.

Hey, Ned!

Get the rifle!

Welcome, then, to real events,

enacted by men and women

of the American frontier.

To whose courage, strength,

and, above all, their faith,

this piece of our history

is dedicated.

Cease action!

Cease the action!

From the beginning.

One! Two!

Isabel!

Are you wearing your costume?

I want everybody wearing their costume

- for the next rehearsal.

- There's been an acc...

Mr. Salsbury!

Mr. Salsbury!

Oh! What is it?

- The horse stepped clean through him.

- That's a real thing.

Ssh! Don't touch him!

All right, everybody get Eats Rabbit

to the dispensary right away.

- It's not Eats Rabbit.

- It's Brown Horse.

Dart, you guys,

help take him over there.

All right, now. Be...

Be careful with him, now.

Tell Joy that she should

not get on the horse from the back.

Looks fake. We're in

the authentic business.

I was thinking if we use

some fire, set the cabin on fire.

Fire?

That's not a bad thought at all.

So, one morning,

I'm wandering through the camp,

and I spot this...

this scrawny-lookin' kid,

lyin' underneath the wagon.

I drag him out,

I take one look at him,

and I know I can make him a star.

I ask him,

"What's your name?"

He says, "Cody, Bill Cody."

I say, "What do you do?" He says,

"I'm a scout and a buffalo hunter."

Well, I'm really gonna

write about somebody,

because I got a batch

of exciting new plots

I might take to Hickok,

except I'm mad at him.

So I say to the kid, "From now on,

your name is Buffalo Bill,

"and in six months, the whole

damn country's gonna know about you."

If we then had an Indian

on the top of that tower,

he could shoot a flaming arrow

right into the settlers' cabin.

That would give us the punch we need.

At a church service

in Deadwood City,

I met, and rubbed elbows with,

a young man named William F. Cody.

I was so impressed

by his skill as a marksman,

and his success as a hunter,

that I nicknamed him

"Buffalo Bill".

Morning, Missy.

- Hey, Nate, take a look at this.

- How's the healin' comin'?

Come and see how good

she's doin' with her left hand.

Show him, honey.

Watch this, Nate.

- Ah!

- Beautiful!

That's just like the old Missy.

And, sure enough, in a few months

those stories come out,

they're a big success,

and the kid comes lookin' for me,

scared to death about

the legend I created,

but real excited

about his new fame.

And, again, I say just one thing,

and only one thing.

I say, "Bill, any

youngster like yourself

"who figures to set

the world on fire,

"best not forget

where he got the matches."

I want you to back me up

on this against Bill.

Yes. The Indian music in the settlers' cabin

is the wrong ethnic. It's too Ukrainian.

In all my years in the

show business, I have never, ever...

Well, when I was a stock actor,

there was more organization...

which is why you've gotta make it

clear to Bill just how serious

this situation could be.

Is this something

I have to pay attention to right now?

What is this, Ed?

Are you listenin' to me, Nate?

Excuse me, boys, we're trying to have

a conversation here about Annie Oakley.

Don't mean to press you

on this, but I am Annie's husband,

and I have a solemn duty...

Damn it, Nate, are you

gonna tell Bill or not?

Maybe you'd...

better speak to him yourself, Frank.

- What can I do for you gentlemen?

- All right, 1 will.

- Mr. Butler...

- What?

Major Burke's in there with him now.

He doesn't wanna be disturbed.

- Oh yeah? Well, this is damned important.

- Now, he said...

- Bill, I don't...

- Good to see you, Frank.

Listen, er...

my glass got empty somehow.

Could you put a coupla fingers

in there for me? Maybe a fistful.

- Thank you, Frank.

- My pleasure.

Now, if you don't wanna

be Mexicans, I'm sure we can find

some very, very good people

who would like to be.

Oh, no, sir. We still

want to be part of the show.

- You do? You wanna be Mexicans?

- Well, no, we don't wanna be Mexicans...

You know, when I was

traveling with the troubadours,

there were times when

I was asked to be a colored.

- Now, do I look like a colored?

- Oh, no, no, sir.

But when I had to play a colored,

I was a colored.

I thought a colored,

I drank a colored,

I walked a colored.

I was a colored.

All right, you can be

Rodriguez and Ricardo.

You can be Morales and Miguel.

You can be Los Gatos Grande.

"Los Latiguerros de Mexico."

That has to do with whips.

Okay, that's it.

Los Latiguerros de Mexico.

I'm gonna give you

an almost top spot...

Listen, Frank, would you mind

gettin' out of the middle of my...

- Conference, Bill.

- My conference here,

and wait your turn

like the others?

- Ed!

- Yes, sir?

- I thought I said no interruptions.

- Yes, sir, Uncle Will, but...

- Then honor my wishes!

- Yes, sir.

Adios, pard. Wish me luck.

John, you got me,

you don't need luck.

Remember,

anything historical is mine.

Everything historical is yours, Bill.

- Here we go!

- Leaving by way of the dispensary?

Hey, yes, come on. Giddy-up!

- Major?

- Giddy-up! Yes, sir.

"Bull's eye. Heroic villains.

Revolutionize. Injuns. Whites."

- What's the plot, Major?

- The plot! The plot!

Why don't you

string those pearls together

and devise us a nice little

Buffalo Bill fable, uniquely original?

Whoa!

- Let me read it when I get back.

- All right.

I'll even give you the legend.

"Enemies in '76, friends in '85."

- Godspeed.

- Giddy-up, boy!

Giddy-up! Giddy-up!

Annie, Annie!

Excuse me, I, um...

Ah, the Shakespeare of the half-dime.

Sit down.

Something's up, Ned.

Bill and Nate

sent Burke outta here on the fly.

- Have you got any ideas?

- Burke gave me a few clues.

Somethin' about...

"Injuns and whites,

heroic villain, 50 bucks a week,

"foes in '75, friends in '86."

"Foes in '75...

"friends in '86."

Well, that shouldn't be

hard to figure.

Nate and Bill are

in the big time now.

They can afford to spend

fifty bucks a week.

Now, tell me,

what Injun villain do you know

who's worth that amount?

- Sitting Bull.

- Sitting Bull?

- Why, sure.

- Is he tame?

- What about the Army?

- The Army would love it.

They can't shoot him now.

Not till the Sioux chiefs

sign those treaties.

So, they put him in a Wild West,

make a broad-assed fool of him,

the rest is easy.

A rock ain't a rock

once it becomes gravel.

What'd he mean by,

"the rock's gravel"?

Just Buntline's way of saying

he's lost his power. He's tame.

- Mr. Keen!

- Every great author has his literisms.

- Mine are, um... revolving around...

- Mr. Keen, I heard the new act's

General Custer's brother.

- That's not what we heard, Eddie.

- No? Who'd you hear it was?

- We know who it is, Ed.

- Who? Tell me.

Sitting Bull.

- Sittin' Bull?

- Sitting Bull.

Sittin' Bull? I didn't know he was

interested in the show business.

If he wasn't interested

in the show business,

he wouldn't have

become a chief, Ed.

In my youth, I fought with

a young brave of the Sioux tribe

named Standing Bull.

And I beat him.

When he sat on the ground

after the fight was over,

and swore revenge on me

by all the gods of heaven and hell

I laughed at him,

and I called him "Sitting Bull".

I tell ya, there ain't

no business like the show business.

Hi, Jerry.

Sittin' Bull!

Now, a whole

lot of folks are saying that

Bill's drinkin' has destroyed

his memory. But it ain't so.

Besides, Bill wouldn't let anything

do a harm to his regard for history.

So you can put those stories to rest.

But Bill's drinkin'...

well, that's a different matter.

Why, just two months ago,

Nate Salsbury asked Bill

to become a foe of the cork.

And Bill promises solemnly

that he'll never be seen

under the influence again.

Until one day, Bill tells Nate

he's been givin' the subject

a great deal of thought

and he figures that he'll need

at least one drink a day.

Now, of course Bill's daily ration

is in a schooner,

the size of

a small shipping vessel.

♪ Verse-moi, verse-moi I'ivresse!

♪ Réponds a ma tendresse

♪ Réponds a ma tendresse

♪ Ainsi qu'on voit des blés... ♪

Here's the man

you've all been waiting for,

the man whose place in history,

and solid character,

has made him popular

throughout the continent!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the one, the only,

America's national entertainer.

Let's put one all together now

for William F. Cody, Buffalo Bill!

My star.

You see that girl on the left there?

- Again!

- The one that works in the laundry, Annie?

- Little Joyce?

- Don't point.

I saw her the other day,

between the tents, and...

and she was huggin' a man.

Ed, don't talk to Annie

while she's using live ammunition.

- Your hand is shaking.

- Honey, I'm doin' the best I can.

I'm fighting wind out here.

Get everybody to the podium,

for notement.

The entire company to the podium,

for notement!

On the triple! Hurry up!

To the podium!

Everybody here?

- You look very stylish, Missy.

- One more, that's all, honey.

- Then you've got to rest.

- Down.

both Buffalo Bill and I

had our reservements about the show.

Perhaps we'd bitten off

more than was chewable,

and that by enlarging our show

we had possibly disimproved it.

Oh, that's fine, that's really fine.

Oh, Bill, Bill, I have

got to talk to you about a mat...

Honey!

- Sorry.

- Jesus!

- What's up?

- We got a serious problem on our hands.

- Uh-huh.

- Ned Buntline's back again.

- He is?

- Yep.

D'you hear that?

Why didn't you tell me?

even down to the Indians.

Now, Nate Salsbury doesn't long-wind,

but he does wanna say

he's proud that you're proud

to be part of

America's national family.

And you, too.

- Nate!

- What, Bill?

Anyway, Bill, I know

how damned upset you'd be

if he was to write anything

harmful about our Annie.

- Buntline's on the ground.

- I know. He's back at his old table.

But all you have to do is

give me the word,

and I'll arrange for him to leave.

- Appreciate your concern, Bill.

- I couldn't do that, Nate.

Ah, listen.

You go on over there now, and

get rid of him without me tellin' him.

And don't you tell me

that you told him.

Right.

- Well, what's goin' on over there?

- It's, er... Brown Horse's funeral.

I told you three days ago,

we lost him.

- He was a Shoshone, wasn't he?

- He was.

Ah. You know, er...

I won the Medal of Honor for killin'

every Shoshone in a raidin' party in '72.

- Doesn't seem that long time ago.

- Yes, sir, you rode into the valley of death,

and rode out again.

Remember, son, the last thing

that a man wants to do

is the last thing he does.

- Nate.

- Bill, it's the best rehearsal yet, and your...

your entrance was the top,

it was tremendable.

- That was a good idea of yours.

- What was that?

Givin' the Injuns slower horses.

Bill?

Money in the bank!

Oh, remember what I told you

about tellin' me.

Right, I won't tell ya.

Business is good!

And it's gettin' better.

That's 'cause times are bad,

and gettin' worse.

That's when the show business

flourishes, when times are bad.

Hope it stays that way!

Well, I'll be Goddamned

if it ain't Nervous Nate.

Buntline, you're not doing

anybody a favour by being here.

I ain't in the favour business, Nate.

I want you to leave my camp,

right now.

It surely is your camp, ain't it?

And a damn fine

job you're doin'.

Much better than

I could've ever done.

What a fine citizen

you're makin' out of Bill.

Why, it don't even seem

like the same man anymore.

Never gets into trouble.

Never looks bad in public.

All I care about is the Wild West.

I'm going to Codyfy the world.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Because I'm the only partner

Bill Cody ever had

who tells him the truth.

And, in the end, we always agree.

I was taught that,

when two partners always agree,

- one of 'em ain't necessary.

- Look, Buntline,

we've just signed the most

futurable act in our history.

So I don't want anything,

or anybody, creating problems.

Who's that? The act?

Sitting Bull.

Sitting Bull! Well!

Nate, that's quite a coup.

Aah!

But, you tell Bill Cody...

that I ain't leavin' till he comes in here

and personally invites me out.

"We have one of

the great chiefs of the Sioux tribe,

"Sitting Bull, here with us.

"And he is going to be

in the same arena

"with the noblest

whiteskin of them all.

"I'm also speaking about the, er...

"the great counterpoint:

"Sitting Bull and William F. Cody,

Pahaska."

Nate?

John's gonna ride to

the top of Bill's list for this one.

"Charm, urbanity, sincerity, sweetness,

and youthfulness speak of the man

"as the recreation of God

in human form..."

Uncle Will?

Uncle Will,

- you only got a few minutes.

- Mm-hmm.

He must be

the big one in the red blanket.

Sure don't look like

no ordinary Injun.

I ain't buyin' no ordinary Injun.

Go on and help Nate

with the welcoming committee.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, son.

- Good trip?

- Hello, Johnny!

- How are ya?

- Great, great, great event.

Buck! Good day!

Got more scalps

than any other Indian chief alive.

But he ain't so big.

All set? Number four,

"Major Burke's Return", down stick.

Is this where you're gonna be?

Right, whenever you're ready.

We have met the enemy,

and he is ours!

Ah, that gentle Sweeney!

A melody for every

momentous moment.

Where's Bill?

♪ Well, hello

♪ Buffalo

♪ Buffalo Billy... ♪

- Where's Bill?

- I don't know.

Come here, Mr. Buntline.

Come over here,

and look at Sitting Bull.

The son of a bitch

must be seven foot tall.

He's getting smaller every year.

Ah, I'm ready to

dispose of my prisoner.

Sweet McLaughlin,

you are now in Codyland.

Sitting Bull is

no longer your prisoner,

but a star in the

Buffalo Bill heavens.

As far as I'm concerned,

he's a murderer,

and he's my responsibility

till I turn him over to Cody.

Just let me

introduce Mr. Nate Salsbury.

Nate, you must meet

this remarkable character.

This is James McLaughlin

of Standing Rock.

Yes, he'll be here momentably, er...

Trust you had a pleasant trip?

I had a miserable trip.

I don't like horsebackin',

especially deliverin' Indians

to some damn circus.

Ah, one thing

the Wild West show is not is a circus.

This is all just part of the

show business, part of, er...

Buffalo Bill's unerring

sense of theatrical timing.

That's my star.

He belongs to all of us, Nate.

Our star.

America's.

Oh, Nate.

Ah!

I hope you had

a comfortable journey, Major.

- Bill, dear Bill.

- Major.

Gentlemen!

In this moment,

fraught with friendship,

with history humming

harmonic overtones,

Bill, I have the distinct pleasure

of presenting Chief Sitting Bull.

Chief, it gives me pleasure

to present to you

the Honorable William F. Cody,

Buffalo Bill!

Well, I would just like to

take this occasion

to congratulate you

on your safe journey,

and to extend a

titanically momentous welcome

to Buffalo Bill's Wild West.

Now, me and my staff are

simply the best at what we do.

And what we do is

to make the best look better.

Now, when you find out

what we got planned for your act...

Hiya, Chief!

Golly, it's the runt!

My name's William Halsey.

Chief Sitting Bull has chosen

to speak through me.

Many moons of his incarceration

has emptied his strength,

and he wishes to rest.

- What's an incarceration?

- Jail.

Well, er... Halsey, Halsey...

That's a white name, isn't it?

Got a little white blood

in you there, Halsey?

Halsey, you tell your chief

that the people standing

in front of him are...

are part of the finest spectacle

in the history of the show business.

I've watched 'em all grow

from raw, plain talents into...

personages of importance.

Now, you tell your chief

that we can do that for him, too.

And I promise you, after

even one season in this show,

he'll never, ever be mistaken

for a below average,

run-of-the-mill, forgettable Indian chief.

Plus he's gonna have something

to fall back on in his later years,

something that, er...

Long trip, huh, Chief?

Well, er...

I just wanted to welcome you here,

and most specifically

to Buffalo Bill's Wild West.

You'll find that it, er...

ain't all that different

from real life.

Gentlemen, Injuns...

Come on, Brigham!

Why didn't you tell me?

I thought he was the big one, too!

- Where'd you get that idea?

- How big is the little one off the horse?

- Oh, um...

- Burke!

Don't worry, Nate.

He's big enough to fill the arena!

So Sittin' Bull's the little fella, huh?

He don't look so savage to me.

I'm gonna sleep with a shotgun

under my bed every night.

You know, Sittin' Bull's famous

for scalpin' folks in their beds.

I sure hope Bill can handle him.

I don't think it's dispropriate

to play a personal chord here.

Now, we all know

sociable chaff is cheap,

but history...

real history, is hard come.

And the man

I'm about to celebrate

is not a mere

personation of a patriot,

but the true monarch of genuity.

Scout, showman,

family person,

valued partner...

America's national entertainer,

William Frederick...

- Bill...

- Uncle Will!

Nate, we got a hitch.

Sittin' Bull don't wanna

live with the other Injuns.

Wait a minute.

Hold it, boys!

Now, what was that?

Sitting Bull doesn't

seem to like his recommodations.

Well, what's wrong?

He didn't exactly say, Uncle Will.

He just said he wants to live

across the river, on the flat ridge.

Bill!

He wants to live across the river!

If you're smart you'll lock them

dog-eaters in the stockade.

Nobody can cross that, Bill.

Not us, not you, nobody.

Gentlemen, that particular river

is impossible to cross.

We've already lost, I don't know,

three horses, six Blackfeet Indians,

and a bargeload of show equipment,

valued at... what is it, $16,000?

What about

if he does get across?

Man crosses that river,

he deserves the land.

Gentlemen, he could

be in a strategic position to escape.

You can't get there from here.

Impossible to cross, huh?

Boys, that's exactly

where I want Sittin' Bull,

on that flat ridge up there.

You see, that way I can watch him

all the time from my chair here.

McLaughlin...

See, I'm smart enough to know

that the difference between

a white man and an Injun

in a situation like this,

is us whites are smart enough

to know that an Injun

always turns down your first offer.

Laugh it up, boys!

Uncle Will,

how did Sitting Bull cross the river?

- Er... good evening, Mr. Halsey.

- Why are they coming?

- Shall we holler for help?

- We are the help.

Nate, Nate!

Shouldn't we holler for help?

I'll handle this with Bill.

Bill, Sitting Bull's on his way here.

He seems to have his whole group with him.

Our unpredictable friends

seem to be on the warpath,

and they're moving

in this direction!

I see 'em!

Uncle Will, they crossed

the river again, and they ain't even wet.

They did, huh?

We're with you, Bill.

Sonia, finish that later.

Well, Chief...

Twilight raid, huh?

Tell me, what have you

got on your mind?

Sitting Bull has said that

he is here

by the will of the Great Spirits,

and, by their will, he is Chief.

His heart is red and sweet,

for whatever passes near

tries to lick him with his tongue,

and the bears taste the honey,

and the green leaves lick the sky.

If the Great Spirits have chosen

anyone to be leader of their land,

it is Sitting Bull.

Halsey...

you tell Sittin' Bull

that Buffalo Bill says

his leaves can turn

whichever way he wants,

so long he knows

which way the wind is blowin'.

I think I gave him back

the same kinda murky logic

- that he gave us, whaddaya think?

- Mmm.

Halsey, what Buffalo Bill

means to say is...

Buffalo Bill doesn't need

an interpreter, Burke.

What Buffalo Bill means to say is

that Sitting Bull is here

to relive great moments of his history

for the pleasure of

thousands of payin' customers.

Sitting Bull says

that history is nothing more

than disrespect for the dead.

When'd he say that?

He don't even look interested.

Sitting Bull's mind

is rested and clear,

and he is ready to negotiate.

What are you talkin' about?

That's already been done. Right, Burke?

- Burke?!

- Oh, right, right, right.

Sitting Bull wants blankets.

Well, they're cold.

Do you think we could write

eight, ten, twelve blankets into the deal?

Sitting Bull wants blankets

for all his people at Grand River.

Well, now, wait a minute!

What do you think this is?

An Army surplus store?

There are only 106

Hunkpapa Sioux left at Grand River.

1067?

God, Burke, five years ago we

counted ten thousand braves alone.

Mr. Halsey,

the Wild West is delighted

to give the blankets

as a gift to those people.

Burke, get a story out on this

on the transmit right away.

- I'm sure we can get features...

- You got it, splash it over the front pages.

"The benevolence of Buffalo Bill."

Great human interest stuff.

A fascinating follow up to

the historic events of today, Chief.

All right, negotiations settled.

Weary, weary,

but there's no rest for the press.

Get over there, and see

that he don't steal anything.

Sitting Bull wants six weeks'

salary to send to his people now.

He wants what?

I thought Burke took care of that?

- What the hell is goin' on here?

- Music box. Makes music.

♪ O come, let us adore him.

O come... ♪

What's that

supposed to be? Ed!

Didn't make this thing deep enough.

Mr. Halsey, what you're

talking about is prepayment,

and we don't do that

without a contract.

Also, he will own his own photographs.

Hell he will!

I got all photographic rights

and historics!

Sitting Bull says a man may never

let go of his face.

Therefore, he will own

his own photographs.

My ass!

Nate!

That's highway robbery,

and he knows it.

Ed, would you...

I ain't gonna put up with it!

You ain't gonna put up...

We ain't gonna put up with it!

It's bedlam in here. I can't think.

I'm gonna lie down

and take a nap.

Margaret!

Stop the singin'.

We lost the moment.

Are you gettin' sharp with me, Bill?

Margaret!

You see?

You've upset Buffalo Bill.

Halsey, tell the chief

we pay for work performed.

However...

if he wants to put his signograph on a

six-months contract, that's another matter.

Ed! Let it be!

- No contract.

- Why not?

All the other top acts have them.

Sitting Bull will not make a contract

he may not be able to honor.

Why wouldn't he honor it?

Sitting Bull stays only

until he sees the Great Father.

- Great... You mean the President?

- Yes.

Did Burke promise you that?

Sitting Bull no longer accepts

promises from white men.

His dreams told him

that this is the place

he would meet the Great Father.

Sitting Bull is here

because he dreamed

he'd meet President Cleveland?

Heave!

Dead on, Bill.

Well, what does she

have to say this time?

"Dear husband, your deeds

as a frontier hero

are pale compared to your adventures

with opera singers and milk maids."

Heave!

Dead on, Bill!

Heave!

"You are also the

cheapest man who ever lived,

"and a profane drunkard as well."

Heave!

- That's Mr. Oakley there.

- Name's Butler, Burke.

Oh, Frank, Frank, sorry!

Jesus! Hold it, honey.

"therefore, I have instructed

my lawyers to draw up divorce articles

"that will ensure

our separation for good,

"and make me a

rich woman in the process."

Now, I want you

to miss this one,

just till you get the feel of it.

Heave!

Take your time.

You can miss by a lot, darlin'.

That was good.

That was right in the middle.

Did you wanna hit it in the middle?

- "...your wife..."

- Heave!

"Lulu."

Heave!

- John!

- Major.

I'm gettin' some

longer cigars from Jules.

I think you'll feel

more comfortable with 'em.

Bill!

Buffalo Bill,

monarch of the West,

it delights me to present this

compellingly cornucopious canary,

this curvacious cadenza in

the compendium of classical chanson,

this collation

of champagne and columbine,

this cultivated

coloratura from Colorado...

words fail me...

Lucille DuCharme.

Of course.

Handel's Rinaldo.

♪ Che crudel! ♪

Double heave!

Why, what a shot you are!

My second husband, Count Eggenweiler,

was a champion trap shooter.

Trap shootin's

a different thing, ma'am,

not takin' anything away

from your second, er...

deceased...

husband.

He used a shotgun that sprayed.

The pistol's a more...

exactin' weapon.

Burke, would you take

the young lady to my, er...

private viewing chair?

Morning, girls!

Hey what's goin' on out there?

I wanna show Bull his Custer act.

Well, they're just waiting for

the down stick. Here's your scenario.

- Aha.

- About Cleveland.

At the first, he's marrying some

society deb at the end of the month.

The second, he's got a Republican

Congress to contend with.

I think we can safeably advance

Bull the money he wants.

I mean, if he's waiting

for Cleveland to show up,

- we've got him for life.

- Mm-hmm.

Bring Sittin' Bull and Halsey

over here.

You keep those

tune tempos tight, Bill!

- Is the Grey all right?

- Yeah.

She'll be ready

to dance tomorrow.

Morning, Chief.

Er... Halsey, er...

if you and the Chief

will follow me,

in just a few short steps,

he's gonna become part of

America's national family.

If you're gonna watch,

watch from the other side, Buck.

- All right, Izzy?

- Okay, short boss.

Oh, er... by the way,

you can tell the Chief

we've decided to give him

the two-week salary

as token of our friendship.

Sitting Bull admires the big Grey.

- Say hello to Buffalo Bill.

- Poor thing is frightened.

- That bird can't get out of there, can he?

- Oh, Bill!

I hope you realise that

we're the only producers

to have the courage to show

the red and the white

without taking sides.

Well!

Hello, there, Chief.

Which way are your leaves blowin'?

- Nate, you'd better get this thing goin'.

- Down stick!

"I see General George Armstrong Custer

"leadin' the courageous men

of the 7th Cavalry

"deep into the Injun territory

known as Little Big Horn,

"exhausted from carrying the wounds

"of a cowardly Sioux ambush

from the day before.

"Suddenly, Injuns appear,

"led by the fiercest Injun

of 'em all,

"Chief Sittin' Bull!"

Oh, Chief,

we got a colored

stand in place for you

'cause he's the closest thing

on our staff to a real Injun.

"Custer knows it's gonna be

the fight for his life."

"Sittin' Bull uses an old Injun ploy.

"He fakes Custer into thinkin'

"it's gonna be an honorable

duel to the death

"between the two great leaders.

"Then... wham!"

Fire!

"George gets shot in the back

by all the other redskins.”

Sitting Bull says

the battle did not happen that way.

Sitting Bull was not present

on the battlefield.

He was making medicine,

and dreaming.

He saw many horses upside down,

and blue skeletons

floating up to the promised land.

Halsey, I think...

What'd he shoot that gun for?

Hey, Chief, put that gun down.

You're gonna hurt somebody.

Sitting Bull thinks

you're a great marksman.

He can see how you killed

so many of his buffalo.

♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager

♪ Und griin ist sein Kleid

♪ Und blau ist sein Auge

Jd Nur sein Herz ist so weit

Jd Nur sein Herz ist so weit

♪ Mein Jager

♪ Kennt Wege und Spur

I Und Madchen bertickt er

♪ So viel er nur will ♪

Someday, my hair's

gonna be as long as Custer's...

Was.

♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager

♪ Und gran ist sein Kleid

♪ Und blau ist sein Auge

- ♪ Nur sein Herz ist so weit... ♪

- Margaret!

♪ Nur sein Herz ist so weit

♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager

♪ Kennt Wege und Spur... ♪

Margaret, I've been

sittin' here thinkin' about us.

I'm glad, Bill.

The more I think about us,

the less I think about

Sittin' Bull, and...

that ain't good for the Wild West.

I'd never interfere

with the Wild West.

The point bein'...

that little bastard

ain't gonna make my life easy.

I can't deal with him

and deal with you, and...

be my best at the both, so...

what I'm tryin' to say is,

I think it's time for you to go.

Oh, no, Bill, no.

And the quicker you go,

the quicker you can start missin' me.

♪ Alas, my love,

♪ You do me wrong

♪ To cast me off

♪ Discourteously

♪ For I have loved... I

Margaret, go on.

Halsey!

What the hell

are you doin' here?

Sitting Bull has come to tell you

what he will do in your show.

Show...

God, the sun ain't hardly up yet!

Sitting Bull's thoughts

do not have a time schedule.

Ah.

Let me see if I can

get myself together.

Go on, sit down.

Tell Sittin' Bull to sit down. I'll be...

Jesus Christ, what an hour.

- What...

- What's goin' on?

I don't know, but...

you keep your eye on him.

I'll go get your uncle.

- What's happening?

- Get Burke.

Goddamn Injun

caught me with my...

Bull woke everybody up.

Bad Bull!

"My father has

promised me this land,

"and, in protecting it,

I have had a hard time.

"The rivers flow

with the blood of my people.

"The wind blows the echoes of lies.

"The white man has stolen the truth."

That is a great

and classic Indian face.

You'll build

a village at Killdeer Mountain.

Sitting Bull's people will be working.

Children will be playing.

They're waiting for Colonel McLaren

and his horse soldiers to talk peace.

The Sioux will have no weapons,

and embrace the soldiers

with open arms.

Then McLaren will slaughter every man,

woman, child, and dog in the village.

Historible.

- It'll work.

- Nate, you're losin' your grip.

We can still do

the Indians attacking,

just we're gonna add music.

That is what Sitting Bull

has chosen to do.

Chief...

we haven't had a heart to heart,

and I think it's about time.

Now, I...

See, I've listened to Halsey.

He's got a lot of guts,

'cause he did...

insult me in my own house.

He called me a coward.

Said I murdered, er...

women, old men...

er... children...

And dogs.

Yeah, dogs.

Er...

you're not gettin'

much of this, are ya?

You got till noon to get outta here!

You're finished! Fired! Through!

I can't believe that little runt'd

treat me like that.

It's harder

bein' a star than an Injun.

Everything on this table

I'm takin' with me.

And... what's this?

How did I ever...?

- Annie, I'll pack your guns now.

- Oswald, don't touch my guns!

Uncle Will!

Uncle Will...

somethin'... awful bad... Annie...

- We already know, Eddie.

- She's leavin'.

- We're talkin' about that.

- Nate, she goin' through with it?

Looks like it. I spoke with her,

Burke spoke with her. Frank...

- She seems dead set about it.

- Frank, is that right?

'Fraid so, Bill.

You know I can usually steer her

wherever you want her to go,

but not this time.

Why is everything

such a big problem around here?

Frank, is it a matter of money?

- Well, money might help.

- Oh, come now, Frank.

Money has nothing to do with it.

What we're talking about here

is Annie's principles.

- What about my principles?

- What about 'em?

- I think you should have her leave.

- Nate!

- They're hard lines, Nate, but...

- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I can't let her go.

She owes me too much.

I'll go down and talk to her,

but I ain't changin'

my mind about that Injun.

You're right. Hold fast on...

Bill, if it comes up,

or if it'll help at all,

you can tell her I love her.

And you take this.

How would you like this?

Here, take it.

- Wayne!

- Yeah?

Come gimme a hand.

- We got problems.

- No problem, Bill.

You know, I could expect disrespect

from anybody except you.

Oh, this is pretty! I'll take this.

Why are ya sittin'

in the middle like this?

What did Bull ever do for you?

He wanted to show

the truth to the people.

Why can't you accept that just once?

Because I got a better sense

of history than that.

Besides, I say

what goes on in this show.

Not some Goddamn Injun runt

and his half-assed half-breed!

I'm sorry.

- Got any whisky around here?

- Annie, where you want this chair?

If you send Bull to Standing Rock,

they'll kill him.

That is not my problem.

You can have this.

It'll just about fit you.

Do I want this? Here.

The little bastard can stay!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm Nate Salsbury and, on behalf

of my partner, Bill Cody,

we want to welcome you to the

season's opening show of America's...

Mr. Cody, we're ready

for the Grand Parade.

- How's the hat?

- Fine.

You didn't even look at it.

Buffalo Bill's Wild West!

And what would the Wild West be

without brave cowboys?

- Mr. Cody, you're on in two minutes.

- I heard you the first time!

Fierce Indians.

- Darlin', you have to go in the carriage.

- Will you stop nagging?

I'm not naggin', honey.

And the dynamically

decorative Dubuffets!

What a beginning, eh, folks?

It's a full house, Mr. Cody!

Oh, God, they're gonna whip up

- all kinds of dust.

- Where's Oswald?

Oswald?

I think he's one of the cowboys.

As the brave cowboys

assume protective positions

so that you,

our honored guests,

will be able to witness

the true wildness of the West,

without bodily risk

from nature's fury.

And pursuing the brave,

invulnerable buffs is our star,

America's national hero,

Bill Cody... Buffalo Bill!

Let's hear it for Buffalo Bill!

Buffalo Bill!

Yes, he was truly born to entertain.

No ordinary man

woulda had the foresight

to take credit for acts of bravery and

heroism that he couldn'ta done.

And no ordinary man could realise

what tremendous profits could be made

by tellin' a pack of lies,

in front of witnesses,

like it was the truth.

No, Bill Cody

could only trust his senses.

And when his senses fail him,

he might just see things

as they really are.

And now, as the trooperies reassemble...

would you join in the singing...

of Buffalo Bill's

favourite American song...

by Francis Scott Key...

'O Say Can You See...

It's Buffalo Bill's belief

that this could, and should,

be the next national anthem.

Would you please rise.

♪ O say can you see

♪ By the dawn's early light

♪ What so proudly we hailed

♪ At the twilight's last gleaming

♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars

♪ Through the perilous fight

♪ O'er the ramparts we watched

♪ Were so gallantly streaming?

♪ And the rocket's red glare

♪ The bombs bursting in air

♪ Gave proof through the night

♪ That our flag was still there

♪ O say does that star-spangled

♪ Banner yet wave

♪ O'er the land of the free

♪ And the home of the brave? ♪

And now,

to open our show in the big way,

Buffalo Bill and Nate Salsbury

present a feature attraction

unique and unparalleled.

The foremost woman marksman

in the world,

the little girl of the Western plains,

the peerless Lady Wing-Shot,

Annie Oakley!

Annie Oakley!

Fairest flower of the West!

Assisted by Frank "the world's most

handsome living target" Butler!

Say hello to Frank Butler!

Steady.

- Tell him to get the cigar steady!

- Move it up a little bit, Frank.

Coward.

Ah! Hey!

Look at that! She did it!

Right smack in the middle!

She did it!

Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you!

- We love you, Annie.

- Real good, honey.

Speed it up! Speed it up!

Make sure you get 'em running.

Come on!

Move it on out!

Run it again!

Come on, faster!

Pick it up! Faster, now!

Come on! Faster!

Come on, get back on it! Faster! Faster!

Faster!

Move it!

Move that horse!

For her grand finale,

Miss Oakley will attempt,

for the first time anywhere,

the two-for-one axe shot.

She will split a bullet

with the axe.

Here! It's here!

Thereby hitting

both targets simultaneously.

You can take your

sweet time on this, honey.

They'll wait forever.

total concentration,

- so please can we request...

- Watch my head.

that you remain

as quiet as possible.

Come on...

The bullet will split

and hit those two targets.

- Is... Is that possible?

- It's never been done before.

Come on, honey.

Oh, how close!

- A graze! A graze!

- Once again!

She missed, but so close!

Give her a big hand,

ladies and gentlemen!

Nate, once again!

Again!

- What?

- Frank, again.

Oh, no, Annie,

you don't have to do that.

- We love you anyway.

- I can do it, Frank.

Oswald, get back.

- Wait, honey, I lost my hat.

- Frank...

You 'bout ready?

Stay with us, Lord.

One more time.

Hey! Hey!

That wonderful?

Annie Oakley!

Annie Oakley!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Yeah! Honey?

- Annie!

- More!

- Honey, where you goin'?

- He moved it.

Honey, please, take a bow.

- Thank you!

- Frank, what are we gonna do?

I don't know, Jules,

but I can't do the damn act myself.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

we want you to meet a man who can

stick to any animal that wears hair.

Say hello to the King of the

Cowboys, Buck Taylor!

All right, pull banner.

Is the old man ready?

Is the old man ready?!

Sitting Bull, you're on next!

Halsey...

you can tell Bull

he's finally gonna discover

what the show business

is all about.

He's gonna come back in here,

and get down on his knees to me

to do the Custer act.

Bull's gonna suffer

a worse defeat than Custer ever did.

Custer could die.

Bull's just gonna get humiliated.

the most murderous,

the most colorful redskin alive.

Here he comes,

the battling Chief

of the Hunkpapa Sioux,

Sitting Bull!

♪ ...durch die Gestrauche blinkt

♪ Uns Licht uber den Rasen streut ♪

♪ Und die Nachtigall flétet

♪ Wandl'ich traurig Von Busch

♪ Zu Busch

♪ Uberhtillet vom Laub

♪ Girret ein Taubenpaar... ♪

Oh, what's the matter, darling?

Don't you like that song?

♪ Wandl'ich traurig Von Busch zu... ♪

Morning! You're up.

Listen, I, er...

I'm really sorry about last night.

It was the first show

of the season, and

the boys like to

kick up a little dust.

I don't like to

have them drink alone.

I must have been

kind of a disappointment.

You look awful pretty in that light.

Actually, er...

I've become something

of a morning man.

Now, there's no pressure.

You see, at night...

And the whisky

we get here is, er...

kinda dulls the...

You haven't said good morning

to the Flying Dutchman yet.

Hi, bird.

He's all right in there?

I mean, he doesn't have to

get out a lot, does he, or...?

Get back!

Oh, what are they doing

to that poor little person?

- They're just horsin' around.

- Oh, Bill, you gotta go help him.

Stop them. They might hurt him.

Please!

All right.

Don't you look, baby. Terrible!

You just stretch out there.

I'll be right back.

Nasty, nasty men, baby.

Don't look.

Ow!

All right, boys! All right!

Buck, put him down. My God,

it's like a bull fightin' a flea.

Yeah! Put me down!

When I get down from here...

You big ape!

- Son of a bitch!

- What?

Buck! Let me down from here!

Nate!

Nothin' but squaws over there.

Nate! Burke! Get over here!

- Goddamn!

- What is it?

- Frank...

- Wait! Stay behind the tent!

Try to get up there.

Go on.

- What's the commotion?

- Come here.

- What's the problem, Nate?

- Well, take a look up there,

and you'll see the problem.

What were you doing?

Oh, I was just

having a little conversation.

'Course you were.

You always are.

- What's goin' on?

- What do you think's happenin'?

Sittin' Bull's makin' his exit.

I wonder where that

little son of a bitch went?

Buck Taylor, get over there

across the river

- Right!

- and see what's goin' on.

- Uncle Will...

- I'm busy, son.

Look at that boy go!

Rides like the wind!

- Er... the Injuns.

- Where?

My God, is that...?

Why is it so dark in here?

Hey, son, get down!

Aha!

Gotcha!

Boys, I want a posse. A tough posse.

We ride in ten minutes.

There's no way to outfox a fox.

No, we're not taking this lyin' down.

You sorry son of a bitch!

Now where you goin'?

- Oof! Damn. Damn!

- What's wrong?

Well, I got trouble on my hands.

Not that little cowboy?

He wasn't hurt or something?

- No. Injuns.

- The Injuns?

- They've escaped.

- All of them?

No, just the dangerous ones.

I gotta go get 'em.

How long will you be gone?

As long as it takes.

You know I'd never let anything

come between us and our little...

unless it was somethin' real,

like this.

Goddamnit!

Where's my real jacket?

Hey, let's go get Bill.

Everybody here?

Well, posse's formed.

You know, knowing that you're...

layin' there waitin' for me

will only serve

to stiffen my resolve.

Oh, my baby!

How could you be so clumsy?

You could have harmed him.

I hate birds!

Cody, don't you ever harm

my Flying Dutchman!

Ed, what are you doing on that horse?

- I'm goin' with you, Uncle Will.

- Get down off that horse.

Your mother'd never forgive me.

Jules, get on the horse.

Get on the horse!

Move out!

We're with ya, Bill.

Darlin', don't worry.

Pray for me.

Now, where's that Injun,

supposed to be on this gate?

Come on!

Come on!

When Bill's dressed for a ride,

and mounted on that

high-steppin' stallion of his,

any doubts concerning

his legends are soon forgotten.

Yes, Bill's fine physical portrait

hides whatever faults

his mind might possess.

But even the least seasoned

of trappers will tell you:

"if you don't know what it is

you're truly after,

"you're better off

staying at home."

There they are.

Uncle Will!

- Uncle Will!

- Control yourself.

That'll teach Sittin' Bull a lesson.

It's a question of

law and order, Annie.

Uncle Will knows the law,

and Sittin' Bull's out of order.

Well, here they come.

All right, up stick.

Now, as soon as they come over

that little ridge, we're gonna...

Wait a minute.

I don't see Sitting Bull.

Hold it!

That's odd, they're not there.

They must be there.

Maybe they're in the back.

I don't see Sittin' Bull.

I don't see no Injuns.

Maybe they just didn't find 'em.

Oh, sure, they found 'em.

No Injun's ever gotten away

from Uncle Will.

Maybe they're dressed

in some of our clothes.

All right, up stick.

I think that's them.

But no down stick.

Just up stick.

They're not there.

Oh, my God.

I don't see any Indians with 'em.

That's 'cause there

ain't no Injuns with 'em.

Bill is the greatest

Indian hunter of them all,

and he led fifteen

of the greatest trackers

into a territory that he knows better

than the back of his own hand,

lookin' for an old man,

a giant, and five boys.

It's not your fault, Bill.

We made it clear

from the very beginning

that we have a camp,

not a prison.

Nate's right.

We're not in the prison business.

Better get to McLaughlin

and tell him that he's gone.

"Sitting Bull escapes

middle of the night

"after first trying to

burn down the arena."

I sure thought you'd catch him.

Uncle Will, they weren't

that far ahead.

Ed, why don't you go close the gate?

Never saw him

refuse a drink before.

I don't care what anybody says.

God bless Buffalo Bill!

God, he shot himself!

Bill!

- Will!

- Bill!

Bill!

Damn bird!

Bill!

Get outta here!

Sit down!

Damn bird!

Thought it was you!

What are you doing?

Bill, slow down!

Bill...

Well, I hate birds!

I hate birds, too.

What?

- Bull and Halsey are out there.

- What? How?

They must have tracked us.

Nate...

Come on in, boys!

Couple of those big buff got loose.

We had to go chase 'em down.

Too bad you couldn't join us.

Where were you?

It's the first moon of the month.

That's not what Buffalo Bill asked you.

Now, where the hell have you been?

During the day of the first moon,

Sitting Bull visits the sun

in the mountains

while his squaws move

the teepees to the moon's path.

Damn it, Halsey,

stop sunning and mooning us.

Now where the hell

have you've been?

- You were up in the mountains, huh?

- Yes.

Don't you think that's

a little dangerous?

Sitting Bull is familiar

with mountains.

What if I had sent

somebody after ya?

Sitting Bull was not hiding.

Sitting Bull has been

with the mountains,

and he realizes now

that he must do more in the show

than ride the pinto.

Well, there we are,

we're back in business.

Foes in '76, friends in '85.

Burke, I still don't know

what he's talking about.

Would you care to explain that?

Sitting Bull has decided

that he will do

the only thing that he sees here

that he would want to show his people.

And what's that?

Sitting Bull

will make the big Grey dance.

Responsibility's a funny thing.

It's a lot different for stars

than it is for ordinary folk.

Oh, please, Mr. Buntline,

this man is in pain.

That's why stars spend

so much time in front of the mirror.

Seein' if their good looks

and their word delivery

can overcome their judgment.

Not now, Mr. Buntline, please.

When a star like...

like Buffalo Bill Cody

makes a judgment,

it becomes a commitment.

It's got to stick,

no matter what the risk.

The only way...

that I could have avoided

seein' him on that mountain

is if he never went to

that mountain at all.

Now, I can understand

why he lied to me, because...

he's gotta look good

in front of his people,

the same way I gotta

look good in front of mine.

But I am generous and flexible.

That was very good,

"generous and flexible".

Ladies and gentlemen, please,

will you try to find

the places that we have specified

for each and every one of you?

Welcome, braves.

We welcome you with open arms.

Wranglers! Wranglers on

the Deadwood coach!

Go easy there. I know

the ladies in the interior

perhaps like to be bounced around

once in a while,

but it wears out the equipment,

and it blurs the picture.

This is an extremely impressive

assemblage. Now, pay attention.

Nate? Er... would you convey

to Buffalo Bill that we are ready?

- I'm generous and flexible...

- Bill? They're ready.

- Bill!

- I'll be there!

Each of you

is an outstanding personage...

- Generous and flexible.

- Lin his own self.

That includes you Indians, too.

Don't forget that.

I choose to overlook

the entire incident.

face the camera with

all the confidence in the world.

You're the best there is.

There isn't anything better.

A hundred years from now,

this picture will still be

in existence. Remember that.

This is the way

people will remember you.

Bill, good morning!

Ladies and gentlemen, Injuns

I didn't know you were ready. I'm sorry.

We...

We just got ready.

Get ready.

Look at the birdie!

Hold it!

Nate...

I don't want Sittin' Bull

standin' next to Annie Oakley.

Why?

'Cause I don't want Sittin' Bull

standin' next to Annie Oakley.

Fans won't like it.

Have him stand over there

with the other Injuns.

Okay.

I don't want Sitting Bull

standing next to Annie.

Er... Halsey...

It'd be a better idea, I think,

in view of the sun factor,

if you and, er... the Chief would move

over here among the other Indians.

Sitting Bull

will stand by Annie Oakley.

Er... no, don't worry about how

you feel about where you oughta be.

Just come on over here

where you should be.

Sitting Bull

will move from this place

for twenty-five

American dollars.

Nate.

Halsey, you're in Codyland...

I swear that Injun

plans these things.

All right.

Now, what do you wanna do?

Let him stay where he is.

We're gonna put Halsey's face and hat

on Buck Taylor

and Sittin' Bull's on

Johnny Baker, and vice versa.

That way, those two Injuns

will be over there with the other Injuns.

And don't show him the photograph.

Er... Buffalo Bill's right.

It was better the first way.

Make your photograph.

All right. Closer!

Everybody hold your breath, now!

Dart!

Hold it a minute, Brewster.

Hey, Dart! Dart! Pss!

- Come here!

- Go on, I'm gettin' my picture took.

What?

Wayne, will you... What's...

Dart, will you go down and find out

what's the matter with that darkie?

Never gonna get my picture took!

What you want, Wayne?

There's a wire just come in from

the President of the United States.

Now, damn it, Wayne, don't be funny

at no time like this.

Look, I'm tellin' you for real!

It's down there. Tell 'em.

There's a wire comin' in from

the President of the United States.

What's that?

You know I wouldn't

lie to you 'bout anythin' like that.

That's too important.

- Is that right?

- Let me show it to you.

Well, who told you?

You can't read neither.

You more trouble than you worth.

I was standin' right here

when it was comin' in.

You may take the photograph now.

Injuns gear their lives to dreams.

And when an Injun dreams,

no matter how far-fetched,

he'll wait till he dies

for it to come true.

White men, they're different.

The only time they dream

is when things are goin' their way.

I'm no expert on the subject,

but it seems to me that

what Sittin' Bull does

is a hell of a lot cheaper

than mountin' a Wild West show,

which is just dreamin' out loud.

"The Honorable William F. Cody.

"Grover Cleveland,

the President of the United States,

"has chosen to celebrate

the first stop

"of his honeymoon excursion

with the former Frances Folsom,

"in Buffalo Bill's

Wild West camp at Fort Ruth.

"The..."

"The scheduled time of arrival

"is Thursday, October 18th

at eight o'clock p.m."

Night!

We've never done a night show before.

President Cleveland comin' here?

Uncle Will! It's just like

in Sittin' Bull's dream.

I bring up

this dream business because...

well, because things are beginnin'

to take on an unreal shape.

Ah, now, now,

just think for a minute.

Sittin' Bull...

Just put yourself in

that Injun's place.

You sit in your teepee,

and you dream.

And then you go to wherever

the dream might take place,

might come true.

Then you wait

for real life to catch up.

Mr. President, Mrs. Cleveland,

honored guests!

I'm Nate Salsbury.

And I can tell you

that Nate Salsbury

has never been as proud in his

long career in the show business,

as he is tonight

to present our very first

after dark request performance.

And to dedicate it to you,

our highest American,

and your fine new wife.

Ed's in the box.

Burke's up there in the box.

Laughin' and jokin'

with the President

while we're stuck down here

in the cold.

Grover Cleveland.

Now there is a star!

- Sure big enough, isn't he?

- God, he's bigger than Buck Taylor!

He's a hell of a lot

bigger than you are.

God, he's the biggest man

I've ever seen.

Meet America's national entertainer,

the man who is the Wild West,

the honorable,

William F. Cody,

Buffalo Bill!

Mr. President, Mrs. First Lady,

distinguished visitors,

I wanna take this occasion

to welcome y'all to my Wild West.

Most people'll tell ya

that it is the father

of the new show business.

And, well...

may the sun never set

on this great nation,

unless it comes up again

in the mornin...

Mr. President,

our weddin' present to you.

Buffalo Bill writes all

of his original sayings himself.

All great men do.

He's quite a horseman.

The greatest horseman in the United States.

Your Highness?

Damn it.

One, two, three,

one, two, three...

Beautiful!

Just like day, darlin'.

What a shot!

He loves us!

Coat.

Sleeves. Come on!

Not yet.

Not yet.

Okay, now!

Ready, darlin...

Isn't that amazing, my dear?

Oh, yes.

- Ready?

- Ready. Ready, darlin...

- Ready, darlin'.

- Okay?

Ooh!

You hit him, Annie.

I think you hit him.

Honey, end it. Honey!

- She got him.

- No more, no more. End it.

It's part of the act.

No, no, everything's quite all right.

Is this part of the act?

Is this part of the act?

Get out, quick.

I'm gonna faint.

One, two...

Oh, my God,

I'm bleeding to death.

- But don't run.

- I gotta get out. I'm gonna fall down.

♪ The ambush and slaughter

no longer be feared

♪ The tomahawk buried

shall rest in the ground

♪ And peace and goodwill

to the nations abound

♪ And peace and goodwill

♪ To the nations abound ♪

Presenting Chief Sitting Bull!

- What's he saying?

- I don't know.

I don't understand a word

he's saying. Do you?

No, but I can guess.

What! He was joking.

Oh, he's got a sense of humor.

His way of making

the Grey mare dance.

Whoo!

I don't care if he is an Indian,

that's un-American.

Bravo, Bull!

To Sitting Bull

and his dancing Grey!

Or President Cleveland's

closest call!

Right, get ready.

We're not bringin' everybody in,

because, you know, we have hundreds...

And everybody remember,

be polite, be brief,

and most of all be yourself.

Remember, it's the President

of the United States. You look fine.

No, wait one second.

- Is everybody ready here?

- All ready, Nate.

It's very kind of you to do this.

It's gonna mean a great deal to the troops.

Well, it'll mean something

to us too, you know.

- Thank you very much.

- All right, come ahead.

how exciting it's been for me

to be back at the Wild West show.

I feel so grateful for...

- Thank you, sir.

- By the way, how are you feeling?

Did you get hurt today?

No, no, no, no.

Annie never misses.

Oh, I see.

Well, you know best!

- Thank you, sir.

- And what do you do with the show, sir?

- Oh, I do the, er...

- Mr. Major!

You should

get together with Sitting Bull.

Both of you scared the daylights

out of me today.

Move it along, Buck.

- You had a very fine act.

- Thank you, sir.

You boys are splendid.

How do you even think of this act?

God, I'm gonna need this.

Frank, where've you been?

I'm pregnant.

- You're what?

- Pregnant.

Congratulations, Miss Poole.

Jesus, Lord.

I sang it at the Teatro Del Roma.

In Roma, you know.

And I sang...

♪ Una voce poco fa

♪ Qui nel cor mi risuono

♪ Il mio cor...

Ain't never seen

black eyed peas like this.

- You were impeccable.

- Thank you. Thank you so much.

Here we go. Come, come!

Champagne and refreshments for everyone.

- Grovie? Can Nina sing now?

- Oh, yes, my rose petal. Go ahead.

- Ah, ladies and gentlemen!

- Thank you.

Our distinguished

and delightful First Lady

has an announcement to make.

Quiet, please.

And now, for your entertainment,

my dear friend

Miss Nina Cavallini will sing...

'Qui sola vergin Rosa'.

'Qui sola vergin Rosa',

in Italian.

Thank you, Nina.

Brava!

♪ Qui sola vergin Rosa

♪ Come puoi Tu fiorir?

♪ Ancora mezzo ascosa

♪ E presso a morir

♪ Non ha per Te rugiade

♪ Gia colta sei dal gel

♪ Il capo tuo Gia Cade

♪ Chino sul Verde stel

♪ Perche sola ignorata

♪ Languir nel tuo giardin?

♪ Dal vento tormentata

♪ In preda a un Rio destin?

♪ Sul cespite tremante

♪ Su colgo giovin fior

♪ Chi su questo core

♪ Cosi, morrai d'amor ♪

Brava! Bravissmal!

Brava!

You know, that's the nicest

invitation I ever got.

Impossible to resist.

- What a cultivated lady she is.

- I'm always trying to spread culture.

Why don't you plan to

stay around for a few days?

And I'll show you what

the real Wild West is like.

I'd love to,

but my secret life with

General Benjamin is, er...

wild enough.

Hello!

- Magnificent.

- Thank you so much.

Yes, it was a...

Actually, it was a...

Bull, what are you doin'?

Halsey, what's he doin' here?

Great Father is here in answer to

Chief Sitting Bull's dreams.

This party's by invite only,

and you don't have an invite.

No more, Bull!

You go!

- That way.

- No, no...

- Let them in, Mr. Gordman.

- Goodman.

Ha. Come in.

The chief is a wonderful comedian.

Good to see you.

Great Father, Sitting Bull

has waited to ask you

a very simple thing

for his people.

Mr. Halsby, I remind you that,

in government, nothing is simple.

This simple request will satisfy

Sitting Bull's people

for the length of time,

Great Father.

Let me point out that

I'm "Great Father"

for only four years at a time.

I face a Republican Congress.

I suggest you deal directly

with your local agent.

We have talked to the agents.

They will not help.

Well, isn't that an indication

your request is impossible?

But this request is very simple.

Halsey, the President's

tryin' to tell you

that nothin' ain't simple.

Don't you understand American?

Ed...

Sitting Bull's request is simple.

Sitting Bull's dreams told him that

he would meet the Great Father here,

and he had hoped the Great Father

would honor his request.

I'm very sorry, sir.

There's nothing I can do about it.

But the Great Father

has not heard Sitting Bull's request.

That's just the point.

It doesn't make any difference.

It's out of the question.

Well, what a

confrontation, Mr. President.

- He's angry with you.

- I know.

It's been some day

we've had here.

Oh, please. We've had

a delightful day with you.

Oh, yes.

Mr. President,

I now understand why

you're our President.

It's uncanny.

That basic pioneer perception.

You see, the difference

between a President

and a Chief in a situation like this,

is the President always knows enough

to retaliate before it's his turn.

Write that down. I'll use it

at the Convention next month.

Well, Mr. President, I...

I know you're tired

and wanna hit the hay.

My personal bed is at your disposal.

- Oh, Buffalo Billy!

- That's very nice.

Ain't hardly even been used.

Where will you sleep, Buffalo Bill?

You could sleep with me,

Uncle Will.

No, Ed...

I wanna sleep out on the prairie

underneath the moon,

and listen to

the lullaby of the coyotes.

See, I ain't always been

a comfortable man.

You know, it's a man like that

that made this country what it is today.

- Hello there, Dart!

- Oh, hello, Mr. Cody.

- Get your work done, boy?

- Yes sir. Everything's all spick and span.

Well, that's nice. You know, it's too bad

the Injuns can't learn from you coloreds.

But then of course they'd have

nothin' to fuss about,

and Injuns do like to fuss about.

Yeah, they do.

You know, Mr. Cody,

I ain't never thanked you

for givin' me the opportunity

to work for you.

Well, don't thank me, son.

I mean, it's just part of my upbringin',

to help the coloreds all I can.

How's that, sir?

Well, my daddy was killed

tryin' to keep slavery outta Kansas.

How'd he do that, sir?

Well, my daddy hated slavery

with such a passion,

that rather than lettin' the

coloreds get in to becomin' slaves...

- Uh-huh.

- he just fought to keep 'em all out of the States.

- Oh.

- He was tryin' to protect ya.

And he caught a knife

in his lungs for the trouble.

Sorry, you wanna come in and

have a drink? I'll buy you one.

You can sit up front with me.

Oh, no, no. It's late, sir,

and I ain't got time to do that.

Oh, and I've gotta go feed your horse.

Thank you for askin'.

- A little of the Old Bonded there, Crutch.

- Hello, Mr. Cody.

Well, I'll be damned!

Buffalo Bill himself.

Hi, Ned.

- Buy an old friend a drink, Bill?

- Another glass.

I was beginnin'

to think you didn't exist.

But here you are

in the glorious flesh,

and what a sight for sore eyes!

Oh, you sure passed me by.

Like plantin' a seed, and

watchin' it grow into a tree,

too tall to climb.

You got everything

you ever wanted, my friend.

You even got the President

of the United States

sleepin' in your bed, right now.

Let's forget all that stuff,

Ned, and get drunk.

I can't forget it, Bill.

Just lookin' at you reminds me of it.

- It's a living.

- Oh, no. Way past a living.

Why, a hundred years from now,

they'll still be shoutin' your name.

You're not one of the boys

no more, Bill.

You're not like ordinary folk.

Why, it gives me goose bumps

just bein' this close to ya.

You still got the knack

don't you, Ned?

You make it easy, Bill.

You were probably the best

there ever was.

And I'd like to have you

back with the show.

Except that...

Frankly, Nate

can't stand the sight of you.

Guess nostalgia

ain't what it used to be.

You ain't changed, Bill.

I ain't supposed to.

That's why people pay to see me.

Well!

This has been the most

soberin' experience I've ever had.

Damn near a religious awakening.

Buffalo Bill...

The thrill of my life

to have invented you.

Crutch?

What do I owe you for my stay?

Nothin', Mr. Buntline.

You don't owe me nothin'.

Thanks, Crutch.

'Cause that's what I got.

Nothin...

I'm off to California to preach

against the vultures of Prometheus.

Ned!

Whoa-whoa.

I'll see you around.

See you in hell, Bill!

Buffalo Bill! Buffalo Bill!

Buffalo Bill!

Bill, I wanna cut

the glass bowl shootin' today.

What the people really want

is to see you ride.

Sure, Nate. You was

just in Europe, wasn't you?

Did you give my regards

to the Queen?

Yes, they're still

talking about you, Bill.

Can't wait for your return.

Bill, this'll be our biggest year yet.

We're gonna gross over two million dollars.

Listen, did I ever tell you

that I hold the record

for a continuous ride

on the Pony Express?

- 322 miles in eighteen days.

- Oh, I know.

Sit down and have a drink with us.

No, it's too early for me, Bill.

You're lookin' great, just great.

Yeah, well, I feel great.

I feel great.

Feel as though

I could go on forever.

Marty, did I ever tell you that I hold

the Pony Express record

for a continuous ride?

320...

well, some odd miles

and eighteen horses...

People might get

the wrong ideas, you understand?

Goddamnit, you

mustn't talk like that.

- What's goin' on? Trouble?

- Oh, big news. Big news.

They shot Sitting Bull.

Dead.

- I'll be damned.

- Oh, my God.

Oh, honey,

don't cry. It's all right.

Annie? What is it?

What's... What's...?

Darlin'?

- What's the matter? What happened to Annie?

- Sitting Bull's dead.

What?

McLaughlin's police, at Standing Rock.

They say he was trying to escape.

He was ridin' the big Grey

Bill gave him.

They say the horse danced

when they shot the Chief.

- Who's gonna tell Bill?

- Nobody.

There's no point

bothering him with that.

What was...

I don't dream.

Must be somebody out...

We're not alone.

Oh no, don't buckle.

He ain't really there.

That is wiggling. Rain.

Well...

Cost me a lot of wampum.

A lot of wampum.

Aah!

Well, all right.

All right, suit yourself.

You ain't even the right image.

Halsey! Get out here!

Tell the Chief I think you've got

all the brains. I'll tell him myself.

Chief!

Halsey's got all the brains.

Except Halsey,

he don't mean a word he says.

Which is why he sounds so real.

Real...

Let me show you somethin' about...

about real.

My God!

I was what? I was a boy.

I was a... eleven-year...

Eleven?

Nine!

I was nine.

I caught this big buff,

right smack in the middle of...

God meant for me to be white.

God meant for me to be white.

And it ain't easy.

I got people with no lives...

They're livin' through me.

They're proud people,

but they're people to worry about.

And another thing.

My daddy died without

ever seein' me as...

as a star.

Tall...

profitable, good lookin'.

Custer was a star.

Oh, he was a good man.

Gave coffee and sugar to the...

Oh, don't do that.

He was a good man.

He gave the Injuns

reason to be famous.

Bull!

Bull! Damn you!

You see, in a hundred years,

I'm still gonna be

Buffalo Bill, star!

And you're gonna be the Injun.

My God, look at you.

Look at you.

You wanna stay the same.

Well, that's goin' backwards!

Buntline...

Oh, damn you, you deserter.

I'm curious, Chief.

My friends are curious.

My women are curious.

My fans are curious.

And they pay me for it.

I give 'em what they expect.

You can't live up to what you expect.

And that makes you

more make-believe than me,

'cause you don't even

know if you're bluffin'!

The difference...

between a white man

and an Injun, in all situations,

is that an Injun is red.

And an Injun's red

for a real good reason.

So we can tell us apart!

So we can tell us apart.

My God,

ain't he ridin' that horse right?

Well, if he ain't...

then how come

all of ya took him for a king?

You see...

I ain't got nobody to talk to.

Except you.

And you ain't even there.

Well, carve it.

Yeah, carve it...

All of us.

Carve our names!

And celebrate the event.

Ladies and gentlemen.

For the first time in the history of

the show business, Nate Salsbury

and William F. Cody

present a conflict

between two of the greatest

warriors in the western civilization,

staged with spectacular realism.

Behold Chief Sitting Bull,

warrior of the western plains,

who has murdered more white men

than any other redskin,

who has spoiled more white women

than any other redskin.

This bloodthirsty leader

of the Hunkpapa Sioux

has challenged Buffalo Bill

to a duel to the death!

Sitting Bull is being played

by William Halsey.

Buffalo Bill,

known as "Pahaska" to the natives,

which means "long hair”,

accepts the challenge

for his beloved country.

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