Bäst före (2013) - full transcript

Hi.

Hi.

Let's hear it for the bride and groom!

Hurrah!

Here are the papers.

Standard package 1,590 kronor.

Which I will pay, naturally.
You can sign the last page.

Has Lisa called?
Lisa, our daughter. Has she called?

She's set a date for the party.
August 12th. A Saturday.

Yes, she called.

I assume you'll be going?
I just want to say I won't be taking Erik.



He's welcome as far as I'm concerned.

How are you? Really?

Good. Really.

Or do you want that in writing, too?

We're going to keep meeting,
at Lisa's and so on.

I was thinking of coming by later,
so we can divide up the household effects.

Fine by me.

Excuse me. Hi, Erik.

Yes. A bit.

No, my god! Have you done that?

I love that! How did you know?

No, really? How lovely.

What are we celebrating?

Bosse, you have been a great asset to us
at the school for many years.



Is that not so?

You've always been a genuine,
honest and exceedingly engaged teacher...

and a dear, long-standing friend
to many of us.

-So we'd like to present you with a gift.
-Oh, thank you!

Yes, may he live
Yes, may he live

Yes, may he live for a hundred years

Yes, of course he will live
Yes, of course he will live

Yes, of course he will live
for a hundred years

-"A hundred years"? Not sure about that.
-How's it going for you?

Karin's coming by this afternoon
to go through the household effects.

If you need help with anything,
like moving things,

or just want a talk,
don't forget to call me.

I have a heavy sideboard I'd need help
with to...take down to the basement.

-See you tomorrow?
-Yes.

Good.

-Would you like a lift somewhere?
-What? No, thanks, I'll walk.

-Okay.
-Thanks anyway.

Elin, she's the new art teacher.
Nice, huh? Just a bit shy.

-This sideboard--
-We'll talk about it later. It'll be fine.

See you tonight. Elin!

Hi! I was thinking about
the outdoor furniture.

Erik has a large deck.
They'd be perfect for it.

Sure, fine by me.

Can I take the sideboard?

And Aunt Ulla's service?

Take what you need.
I can buy second-hand furniture.

I've arranged a removal truck
for tomorrow, okay?

Sure. Bring an excavator and
take the apple tree while you're at it.

-That wasn't funny, Bosse.
-You don't say.

Lisa has a key. Is it okay
if she comes in when you're not at home?

Sure, just help yourselves. Listen...

Maybe the bedroom wallpaper
would look good at Erik's place?

Now you're being stupid.

I'm off.

Bye.

Okay, guys, it's a big one this week.
212 a head.

212 kronor per person?
So it'll cost 636?

-In effect. It's a hard one to call.
-Can I have a look?

600? It's a bit much, isn't it?

-Yes, but you have to put in to win.
-Clearly.

Hang on. When I add it up I make it
424 kronor - for the entire combination.

-Are Lennart and I to pay everything?
-That's how we've done it before.

Before, all three of us paid.

But it was always me
who printed it out and handed it in.

So I feel that I can charge
a little administrative fee. No?

-A little fee of 212 kronor?
-Okay, let's forget the horses.

Am I to sweat away at this
every damn week?

I'm on a disability pension of 8,700.
I can't keep--

Anders, of course
you can take a small fee.

But I think a stake
of over 400 kronor is a bit much.

-Didn't we say 100 each when we started?
-It's okay, Anders, we'll pay.

I mean, we have lots of overhead
for racing magazines, travel and so on.

And all the betting agencies.
I put a hell of a lot of time into it.

Yes, and time is short.

-And what do you mean by that?
-Nothing special. Time is short--

-We'll pay, Anders. It's fine.
-Cheers, then.

Cheers.

-You've got to find a new lady, Bosse.
-No, thanks.

What do you write? "Married 60-year-old
seeks a bit on the side"?

No, but I'm sure that would work!
I usually put "Niklas 45, newly divorced."

And when you meet them,
they realize you've lied.

Everyone does it,

It's like house prices. Everyone knows
that the asking price isn't right.

Though in your case,
they don't know it's a fixer-upper!

-Does Ingela know about this?
-Hell, no!

Not much of a flow, there.
You should have your prostate checked.

-I have. It looked fine.
-You sure?

Once I could piss
my whole name in the snow.

These days I'm happy
if I can get my initials out!

I'd still check it,
just to be on the safe side.

Hello!

Come in!

-Hi, Dad.
-Hi.

-Having a sit-down?
-Yep.

Everything okay?

Everything's fine.

I went past the shop.
They had five of these for 100 kronor.

I bought you some.
I'll put them in the freezer.

Okay?

Yes.

Hi, my name's Anders Jelvebåge.
Is Filippa Sundell there?

I understand from your website that
she's head of development. Is that right?

I have an idea for a program I'd like
to present. A format, you could say.

Tomorrow, 1 p.m.?

I've brought you a brochure.

Look.

The retirees' organization?
Are you poking fun at me?

They have lots of fun things. Look.

Book circle, power walking,
art club, painting course.

I've got a whole damn studio
in the basement!

You think I should take
a painting course?

Maybe you can teach one! Seriously, Dad,
it's been ages since you last painted.

I'll paint when I feel like it.
Get off my case!

Do something else, then. Be curious.

Lisa, I don't need activating.

You and your mom think I've been
completely broken. What if I haven't?

In that case, it's great.

But I've got some phone numbers here.

In case you need to talk to someone.

The men's hotline.
24-hour sympathetic support.

It wasn't that big a goddamn deal
being married to your mother.

The truth is that we were
usually incredibly bored of each other.

And whose fault was that?

All I'm saying is that
in the past ten years

maybe you weren't the world's
most dynamic person, socially speaking.

Where did you get that from?

-Has Karin said something?
-No.

And everything she says
is 100% true?

-No. Dad, I won't take sides.
-Come on. You already have.

And I get so damn fed up with you
buying food and putting it in my freezer!

As if I was some senile 80-year-old
in need of home help.

-Have I asked you to buy me food? Well?
-Don't shout.

Here. Take this shit home.
I don't want it.

-You're still coming to my party though?
-No, I won't be.

Then you can sit all alone and rot.

You should start smoking again.
You were much nicer when you smoked.

At least you can try these, can't you?

-Lennart?
-That's me.

-Hello.
-Hello.

-Nice to meet you.
-My name's Siv Tysk. Your new doctor.

Okay... but...

Börje Hansson?

Börje's out traveling,
so I've taken over his patients.

But I've always had Börje Hansson.
He knows all about me...

That's right, but now it's me.

-Will you be examining me or just--
-Come with me.

"How come you can run
a lap of the stadium so fast?"

Know what he said?
"I've lubricated my lap."

Thanks for coming tonight.
See you again next week. Goodbye!

It'll feel a little cold, as you know.

-Oh! Ow...
-Try not to tense your bottom so much.

Thank you.

Hello. Anders J. Jelvebåge.
I'm here for Filippa Sundell.

She's been detained, I'm afraid.
You'll be seeing Katja instead.

Aha. Super!

-What do you work with, Anders?
-I'm originally a science teacher, but...

But I'm now on a disability pension.

But it's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

Is that so?

It's no goldmine exactly,
but I get to express my artistic side.

-I've grown. A lot.
-Great. Please, take a seat.

The tests are quite conclusive,
I'm afraid.

You definitely have prostate cancer.

Okay...

But fortunately it's treatable,
and most people survive it.

-I have friends who--
-Exactly.

It's not so uncommon at your age.

So you might know that the drugs
can have side effects

that can affect your quality of life.

What would that entail?
I mean, the side effects...

Your sex drive can diminish
- or disappear altogether.

Just how much is hard to say.

You get hot flashes and sweating...

not unlike women
going through menopause.

And you start to develop breasts.

-I'll get breasts?
-You'll feel a tightening and swelling.

But I'd recommend surgery...

Within two to three weeks.

I call the format "Who wants to be
an engineer?" It's a game show

where secondary school pupils
compete against each other.

One task could be, for instance...
There's a room with a toilet.

And, oh! "Houston calling,
we've got a problem here."

It turns out that the cistern's broken...

and they have to make a new ballcock
with whatever they find in the room.

Can't they make a porta-potty instead?

What? I mean...

Anyway.

The winning team gets the equivalent
of eight semesters' student loan for free.

Before taxes, obviously.

Or perhaps I should say guffaw tax?

Sorry.

-Right. And there'll be a presenter?
-Exactly.

And I think I'd be perfect for it.

Funny! You're a bit of a joker.

Well, you could say that.

Do you know what? Anders, right?

Thanks so much for coming here.

Are you making fun of me?

Has something happened?

Yes.

I was thinking of Bosse.

He's retiring and getting divorced
at the same time. It's a bit depressing.

Yes. It must be hard.

When you least expect it...

Lennart speaking... Hi.

7,294 kronor in adjusted winnings.

That's 2,491 kronor each.

Here you are.

It's not worth saving.
Can't we do something fun with the money?

What?

Remember the fun we had
on our travels in the '80s?

Did we? I just remember spending
24 hours in Rüdesheim police station

because you did a dine-and-dash.
How much fun was that?

-I've checked out the Finland ferries.
-A booze cruise?

They're luxury ships. Posh.

Full of lovely ladies.
We'll be spoiled for choice.

-It'll suit us down to the ground!
-Look at yourself in the mirror, Lennart.

Why do we always talk about you?
Can't we talk about me, too?

Don't you think it'd be fun -
the three of us for 24 hours?

You go, I need the money for other things.

-But it won't cost anything, Anders.
-Sorry, I have to prioritize.

Hang on - weren't you going to sell
a TV show and become a millionaire?

Those bastards.

I've never been so mistreated
as I was by that damn production company.

Never! And I've been mistreated
many times, I can tell you!

-Was it worse than the jail in Rüdesheim?
-That was a blast. I'll have you know--

The trip's on me.

-On you?
-Yes, I'll pay.

-Including food and--
-I didn't say that. Ticket and cabin.

The rest you'll have to pay for yourself.

Seriously, let's do this!

We have to seize this opportunity
to have fun before...

You never know.
It can be over sooner than you think.

I feel out of sorts.
I can't seem to keep my food down.

-Try taking out your mouth guard.
-Hilarious.

-Anyway, I don't know if I--
-Pull yourself together, Anders!

A little sea air
will do you the world of good.

-Yeah...
-That settles it. See you later. Bye.

Hello?

What the hell...?

Hi, you've reached Lisa.
Leave a message after the beep. Bye!

Hello. Thank you.

-Hi, it's me.
-Hi, buddy.

I think I'm getting a cold.
It's spread to both my nostrils now.

Take a couple of aspirin, Anders.
I'm sure you'll be fine.

There are many people worse off
than you, I can promise you that.

Yes... That'll do.

Get better and see you in a while. Bye.

-How hard is it to be on time?
-Well, now we're here. Fun, huh?

I don't actually have time for this.
I've got my format to think about.

My daughter Lisa is buying
Karin's version just like that.

I'm apparently so terribly boring

that I've forced Karin
to be unfaithful and leave me.

-That's what I get from Lisa.
-Does she say that?

Virtually.

She's your daughter.
You can't just write her off.

-Of course not--
-Why not?

Why spend time with an idiot
just because she's your daughter?

You owe her nothing.

-She's his daughter.
-And? An idiot's an idiot.

-But Anders--
-As I said. An idiot's an idiot.

Hello. My name's Lennart Nyman.
I've ordered a deluxe cabin.

Deluxe?

That's all in order.
I hope you have a nice voyage with us.

I hope so, too.

Aren't we sharing?

There was a screw-up
with the booking, as usual.

There's a nice bar on deck seven.
The "Cigar Club" or something.

See you there in half an hour? Bye.

Can I help you?

Bo Kramér and Anders Jelvebåge.
We've booked a second-class cabin.

Yes. You'll be sharing a four-bed cabin.

Getting closer...

Here... No, this one.

-Hi! Are we sharing with you?
-It'd seem so. Bosse.

-Kjell-Åke.
-This is Anders.

-Come in! It's a bit cramped...
-No problem. Excuse me.

-Typical to have a cold on holiday!
-It's usually the case.

As soon as you wind down,
in come the germs.

-Come in!
-No way.

Anders!

All we have with twin beds
are the premium cabins.

They're much more expensive, of course.
1,000 kronor per person.

Tell me you're joking.

You can have a four-bed cabin
to yourselves if you like,

subject to a surcharge
of 350 kronor per person.

That'd work...

Can't we share with others who don't weigh
900 pounds and have double pneumonia?

You've paid for a shared four-bed cabin
and these things happen, I'm afraid--

Of course. It's no problem.
Can we just have a word?

-350 isn't that much, is it?
-It is to me. I'm on a pension.

-I'm not that well off.
-It's 350 kronor!

It's damn cheap of Lennart.
He invites us on this trip

and it turns out we're to stay in the hold
like a couple of boat people.

-Look, I'll pay for you, too. It's fine.
-Why should you pay for me?

Because I want to, Anders.

-Can't I treat you?
-Okay, you win.

Dibs on the bottom bunk.

This is luxury. TV and...

-What are these?
-Want to try one?

No, thanks, I have my own.

Here. From China. For the blood pressure.
You should try one.

Totally natural.
No chemicals, no toxins...

No side-effects or anything.
Tried and tested for 2,000 years.

I left my card in reception.

Bad idea. Theoretically there
can be a hundred copies already. Run.

I was here recently
to upgrade my cabin.

-I think I know why you came back.
-Thanks!

Anna!

-It's been a while.
-You can say that again.

How are you?

Good. I'm good.

-And you're good?
-I'm really good.

I'm here with Mom. She's turning 84.

You?

I'm here with some friends.
It's just a bit of fun.

We won on the horses.
Not much, but...

Listen...

Shall we have a drink?

Let's have a drink.
Come on, it's been ages!

-Then you just disappeared.
-That's what it was like back then.

People just... took off.

And then... Didn't I send a postcard?

No. Morocco of all places. How come?

Then I met Tim
and fell head over heels in love.

Then we moved to California.

But let me show you
how I live today, in Portugal.

This is my house.

Wow, it's fantastic.

-And here, behind me and the boats--
-It looks lovely.

-Just round the corner is Cabo da Roca.
-The lighthouse?

Yes!

It's fabulous.

-You like lighthouses, don't you?
-Yes.

As soon as I have a spare moment I like
to travel around looking at lighthouses.

That's right, I--

On my vacations I go to look
at lighthouses and then paint them.

-Are they your kids?
-Yes! This is Thomas. He's 30.

And that's little Mark, he's 27.
Do you have children?

Lisa, a daughter. She'll be 30... soon.

-Do you talk on the phone a lot?
-Once or twice a week.

-I see.
-No, three or four times, I'd say.

-So... You've lived in California?
-Yes.

Know what she says back? "Dirty old man!"

Some people are such idiots. Hi!

I haven't had that happen to me yet.

-How's the nose?
-I think it's spread to the tonsils.

-What's it to be?
-A large beer, bitte.

Hello, Mr. Bartender!

Excuse me, I was just about to
place an order. But ladies first...

Okay. Two gin and tonics, large ones.

Okay...

Do you know... Girls. Do you know
how to mix a proper G&T?

-Sorry?
-A G&T. Gin and tonic. How to mix one.

-No.
-I can show you. Tell you how it's done.

-Is it your first trip?
-No, but I assume it is yours, right?

-What was that?
-Is it your first?

Not mine, but Anders here,
he's never left town. I'm well traveled.

-Hi. Anders.
-Hi.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Hi, Lennart.
-Hi.

Say girls, can you guess how old I am?

-Guess.
-No, I can't.

-Don't give me that!
-I can't!

Guess!

-Well? 52.
-Did you say 52?

What, in dog years?

He's 60 but at the wrong end,
so to speak.

Okay. Sorry. We're a little...
We've had a few drinks. Bye!

A large beer.

Anders... I'd appreciate it if you kept
out of my discussions about my age.

-I just thought it was funny. 52!
-Well, I didn't.

-Are we agreed?
-Sure thing.

-Good.
-Shake on it.

Do you remember that we drank
Southern Comfort because Janis Joplin did?

Yes... Vaguely.

-Have you met anyone else from back then?
-No, not for ages.

Do you remember the party
at that Vietnam deserter's place?

When you decided to do an action painting
in the middle of the night!

-Did I?
-Yes!

Wait a moment...

I wonder if it wasn't on the walls, too.
It was a birthday party, I think.

Yes. It was a very special... evening.

Was it?

Cheers.

-Anders...
-Yes?

There's...

There's something that...

Life doesn't always turn out as you hoped.

No.

-Does it?
-No.

But you just have to put up with that.

It's the kind of thing
you just have to live with.

-And die with, too, for that matter.
-Yeah.

What do you mean?

I mean what I say.

-That we're all going to die, or...?
-Yes.

-Is it something serious?
-Some die earlier than others.

Yeah. Alright...

It certainly wasn't me
that said I was to be a presenter.

They asked me if I'd ever thought about
presenting a program.

"Yes," I said. Because I had.

Excuse me. Sorry.

-Where have you been?
-I met an old friend.

She wants to join us for dinner.
Would that be okay?

Well, yes... Is she alone?

-No, she's with another woman.
-Perfect.

-Female beauty. Do you know them well?
-No, just the one.

-And the other?
-I met her briefly some years ago.

-It could be something for you?
-You think so?

How old might this piece of candy be?

No more than 84. It's her birthday.

-Hello. I'm Lennart.
-Märta.

Nice to meet you.

-Hi! Lennart.
-Anna.

You're the spitting image
of an old flame of mine - Erland.

A little bird tells me that Märta
turns 84 today. A respectable age.

It's a miracle. Despite smoking and
drinking like a trooper all these years!

I say let's have some champagne
to celebrate Märta here.

We'd like some champagne, please.
Dry, cold and free, ideally.

-What are the choices?
-Dom Pérignon and Bollinger.

We'll take a Bollinger,
that sounds good.

-I didn't catch that.
-It's a kind of...

-You and Bosse are old friends?
-It was a lifetime ago.

Let's see.

A gravy... Smoked bacon, wild mushrooms,
rowanberry jelly, Hollandaise sauce...

Choose whatever you like.
It's on me.

I think I feel like...
the prawns, actually.

-Then I'll have the smoked bacon.
-No, it's all one dish.

We began with the "20 groups" quite early.

No class was to have
more than 20 pupils.

-It sounds really good.
-It was. It was fantastic.

I was director of studies back then,
so I pushed it quite hard...

"Who wants to be an engineer?"
I'm patenting it.

-Sorry?
-"Who wants to be an engineer?"

It's a game show that will hopefully
spark youngsters' interest in technology.

I see. It sounds like a good idea.

I think it's important that normal people
can get to learn about...

As a director, I thought it important
to lift women. "Women can!" as they said.

"No," I said. "Women can do better!"

What do you say - shall we have a toast?
Then here we go.

A toast to old... and new friends,
and above all to Märta, who's 84 today.

Cheers. To you, Märta. Cheers, Anna.

Please.

Well...

Want to come up to my cabin for a drink
and to plan the rest of the evening?

Take 1,800 kronor off it.

For you.

So we'll head off now,
and you'll join us later?

Sure.

-Cabin 9141, deck nine. Need help?
-I'm fine.

-So let's see how to divide this up.
-Divide up?

There's 1,000, that's good.
So, 1,800 divided by five...

-By five? We're treating the ladies.
-What? Treating the ladies?

Okay, you pay one fifth.

That makes it
about 400 kronor including tip.

Without tip, it's 360.

-Let's see. I'll pay 350...
-"Without tip"?

So I owe you 10.

-But that means no tip.
-The tip's included in the price.

-No, it isn't.
-It is. I'm no nitpicker.

But it all evens out in the end, okay?

With a little tip, you owe me 50.

Let's meet each other half way
and say 30, okay?

Oh, wow.
What does a cabin like this cost?

-Something to drink? Märta?
-What we had with dinner was nice.

Let's see what's in the cabinet.

We have...

Pretty much everything,
except bubbly, I'm afraid.

-I can have some mineral water.
-No, bubbly it must be. Right, Anna?

Bosse... You're fit and healthy. Run down
and get a couple of Bollingers will you?

Get a bottle of gin while you're at it.
A Bombay Sapphire.

It'll be packed down there.

It'll be okay. There's no hurry.
Take all the time you need.

-We'll be fine. Right, Anna?
-Yes!

We will indeed!

Take the stairs
and get some exercise, too.

...and remind all drivers that the car
deck will be closed during the voyage...

Shall we dance?

-Isn't it forbidden?
-May I?

There are many strange things
about this country,

but surely dancing and romance
are still allowed?

He leads well.

No doubt.

Not all men do.

No feminist would say that.
Everything has to be equal the whole time.

But as soon as it comes to dance,
suddenly it's up to the men to lead.

Of course.

Here I come with refreshments!
Are you dancing?

Thank you.

It's always a pleasure to dance
with such a responsive partner.

He's a great dancer.

You and Ingela
took that salsa course, didn't you?

Ingela is Lennart's wife.

What? How long have you and Ingela...?

-Anna?
-Yes?

Do you want the same to drink
as your mother?

-May I use the bathroom?
-I can go with you, Mom. Come along.

Anna, would you like a Southern Comfort?
I bought some for nostalgia's sake.

What's up with you?

-What?
-Did you really have to bring Ingela up?

-Is it a secret that you're married?
-No. It's not a secret.

But was it really necessary
to bring it up?

It's unsporting.
And that goes for you, too.

-I find it hard to watch you hitting on--
-Your old girlfriend?

Yes, she's an old...

But now she isn't any more.

She's an adult and can decide
for herself who to spend time with.

-I'm the one who invited her to join us.
-Now you're being jealous. It's stupid.

And I don't give a shit.

I'm tired of having to consider you and
your pathetic life and crap self-esteem.

And what do you think
your wife Ingela would...

-Have you missed us?
-Did you hear that?

I know how johns like that work.

-Can we have a cig?
-He doesn't smoke.

-But we're having a drink, aren't we?
-Champagne.

-Lots of it, and then I want to dance.
-Of course. But first we--

-Mom... I'll be right back.
-I know how the shit gets sucked out.

It's a suction device
that turns it all into humus.

-Anders...!
-What?

-Thank you.
-For what?

Thank you.

-They're not much fun, your friends.
-They're different, that's all.

To think that you were an art teacher.
You wanted to be an artist.

I discovered that it was fun to teach.

And important to get young people
to express themselves in pictures.

Do you sell any?

-Do I sell any?
-Yes, of your artwork.

No, not so much.

I hold exhibitions now and then...

to make a little extra money.
That kind of thing.

Hey... Do you remember the parties we had?

Yes, they were pretty wild.
Lots of red wine and marijuana.

I don't know how we ever managed to study,
but it was a blast!

Hey...

How about we go to my cabin for a drink
before returning to the others?

-Didn't you want a smoke?
-I don't smoke. Come on!

There! Thank you, Märta. That was nice.

No but... won't we have one more?

Okay...

But it will absolutely
have to be the very last one.

Excuse me, but I feel a bit like
the fifth wheel here, so I'm... splitting.

Maybe you can... Anders, hang on!

Go for it!

Listen, Märta, let's follow Anders
and go find Anna and Bosse.

-Are you thinking of throwing me out?
-No, yes...

Wow.

Not bad.

-I forgot to ask what you do.
-I've never worked.

-I gather that that Jim--
-Tim.

That Tim was no pauper exactly.

No, you can say that again!
He was in India on business.

He'd inherited a railway from his father.

We met and I fell madly in love.

He was 20 years older than me.

And so I sat there in the house
in San Francisco being pregnant.

It's a life, I guess!

-Right, dancing over.
-Did the music end?

Yes. The machine has run out of music.

We can play a tune again, can't we?

No. You can only play tunes one single
time in these new music machines.

-I'm feeling a little weary.
-Time for little Märta to go to bed.

Please, Märta... No!

You can't sleep here.
I'm also a little weary.

I'll help you back to your cabin
and you can sleep there.

-What's your cabin number?
-I can't remember, Erland.

-Lennart.
-We'll you're very similar, anyway.

-Do you have a key in your bag?
-No, I wasn't given a key.

A Lapin Kulta.

A Lapin Kulta, please!

-What good singing voices they have.
-Yeah.

Are you traveling alone, on holiday...?
Thanks.

No, I'm here with my sister.
She's around somewhere.

-I also have a sister.
-It's a small world.

How about you? Are you traveling alone?

The music's so loud,
I can't hear myself think.

Can't they just...

It's good, though.
I love these old classics.

-This is no classic.
-Yes, it is.

-No way!
-Yes.

No.

What were you expecting from this boat?
That they'd play Haydn?

No, the Stones or Zed L... Led Zeppelin.
Those are classics.

-Are you an old heavy-rocker, then?
-No, I wouldn't say that.

I'm omnivorous.

But they're awful singers,
don't you think?

If you think it's so bad,
why not go up there yourself and sing?

Me? Here? No...

I have some stage experience.
But not here.

Maybe you're a coward, someone
who has opinions but no courage.

Me, a coward? No! Just not here.

Listen. If you go and sing a song,
the drinks are on me.

What, you'll pay?

Yes, this and the next round,
if you do it. It'll be fun to see.

-Did you meet someone else?
-No.

-Did she meet someone else?
-No...

It's just that I chose to... Or rather...

I just felt we'd reached
the end of the road, as they say.

So that was it.

Do you remember
the last time we had sex?

You and I?

No.

It must've been on Birkagatan?

Maybe it was.

When your friends all leave you
or love comes to an end

You see everything
with slightly different eyes

You practice, and slowly...

You could get the guys to do anything.
They were crazy about you.

-And all the girls were crazy about you.
-Me? Damn!

-Why wasn't I aware of that, then?
-Stop kidding around.

I was hugely proud to be dating you.

-That's totally inconceivable.
-No. You were cool.

Gifted.

You were a bit wild.
You dared to do things.

I find that hard to believe.

Everyone else wanted to train as something
but you chose to do what you loved.

You also made lots of choices,
got up to all sorts of things.

No, I just flitted around the whole time.

I never made any choices.

Everything can fall apart

But my heart can break
into a thousand pieces

If you say that you are my friend
Then maybe it's true

-Excellent. That was great.
-Thank you.

I'm sort of in the industry.

I'm working on a show called
"Who wants to be an engineer?"

"Who wants to be an engineer"?
I'll keep an eye out for it.

They haven't started airing it yet,
but it's coming.

Okay.

-Hello. Have you seen Bosse and Anna?
-No, I haven't.

-I need to have a little sit down.
-Here. There's a chair there.

-There. How's that?
-Thanks.

-This is Märta and Lennart.
-Hello.

Ulla? Right. Anders.

-You're alike, I can see.
-Us two? I don't think...

-Oh, her. She's not my mother.
-She's his girlfriend.

You've got a thing for older women?

Sorry.

-Are you also in television?
-"Also in television"?

Anders tells me he makes programs.

Does he? So you're in the TV industry now?

No, I'm not in TV.

The last I checked,
you were in early retirement.

Before that he was an inventor.
Invented all sorts of ingenious things.

Bullshit. Know what they call him?
"The Conference Cock-slinger."

CC. Conference Cock-slinger.

-I don't need to listen to this.
-Wait, Ulla...

Congratulations, Anders.
You're a real charmer.

So fucking typical.

-You always ruin things for everyone.
-It's always someone else's fault, right?

I'm not saying that. I know why I wasn't
made director of studies. You objected!

Because you spent 30%
of the time on sick leave.

-Not true!
-Week after week, year in year out.

That just won't do
for a director of studies!

-Hello, Erl--
-Lennart, Märta. My name's Lennart.

-I want to go to bed.
-Where's your cabin? Have you got a key?

-Here. This is your key.
-Is it?

Let's get you to bed.

Come along.
I apologize if I was a little brusque.

Bye! Night-night!

To be honest, I don't think I ever loved
my wife as much as I loved you.

You could always have tried
to get ahold of me.

You're the one who disappeared.

I thought I'd go mad from a broken heart.

If you'd really wanted to get ahold of me
you could've called my parents.

I wasn't exactly their favorite but...

maybe I should've done that.

Yes.

That was foolish.

Hi.

Hello. So this is where you're hiding?

Sorry, the time just flew by. Sorry.

Yes, it sure is a novel phenomenon
that time keeps passing.

I think your mother is a little tired.

-I can help you, Mom.
-No, I'll be alright. You go and have fun.

-Thank you for a wonderful evening.
-It was lovely, Märta. Sleep tight now.

Come on, Mom.

This is on me. What's it to be?

-I'll have a glass of dry white wine.
-I'm good. I can take a beer.

I'll get them. You go sit down.

Thank you.

-Sorry for taking so long.
-No problem. We had a lovely time.

-We haven't seen each other for 30 years.
-Time does indeed fly.

Have you and Bosse
been working together for long?

Yes. For too long, I was going to say...

You seem very close.

Yes, for good and ill.

When you've known each other
for so long...

maybe it's like
you know each other too well.

When you know the other one's
qualities and flaws and shortcomings...

-How do you mean?
-Bosse's a good guy in many ways, but...

I was his boss for many years

and he wasn't the world's
most engaged teacher.

No?

He's always seen himself
as a great artist but has felt a failure

as he "only" became an art teacher.

To have felt that for 40 years
could be a bit depressing.

-But he still paints?
-No. Not for the past 25 years.

He hasn't sold a single painting
in his entire life.

No, he sold one. I bought one
25 years ago out of sheer kindness.

He hasn't painted since, as far as I know.

What about his interest in lighthouses?

I'd almost forgotten that.
That was 25 years ago, too.

That was a youthful dream.

He's scared of flying,
so he doesn't go anywhere.

Is he divorced?

How do you mean?

His wife left him recently
for a younger man.

He has a daughter, Lisa,
who he doesn't get on that well with.

Dumped, poor father-daughter relationship
and recently retired.

Things could be better.

That's why we're taking this trip.
To cheer him up a bit.

He's had a tough time of it recently.

He's finding the divorce hard
to cope with. He still loves her.

He says she's the greatest
and only love of his life.

Depressing.

I think I have to go and check on Mom.

Have a good time.

Hi, Ulla! Sorry about before.

It's okay.

-Don't believe everything Lennart says.
-I'm talking to my sister.

Hi. Anders.

I just want to say I am on a disability
pension but that doesn't mean I'm poor.

-I don't care, okay?
-Can we draw a line under everything?

May I buy you ladies
a drink or two, perhaps?

-Here.
-I don't give a shit about your money!

-Hi. Lennart. Nice to meet you.
-Katarina.

May I join you?
I saw that you were sitting alone.

-Hi.
-Katarina. Bosse.

-Where's Anna?
-She went to her cabin.

-Is she coming back?
-She didn't say.

I think her mother has gone to sleep.

Okay...

-I'll just put these here.
-Okay.

-Right... I'll see you later.
-Good luck.

-Want some wine?
-I'd love some. Why not?

Here. You can have a gin and tonic too.

Hi.

-Goodbye.
-Hang on...

What's going on?

You underestimate me. I don't like it.

I'm not sure I--

Your friend, Lennart,
that pathetic bundle of charm,

says that you don't paint anymore,
that your wife met another man,

that you've become a couch potato
and don't care about your daughter.

Know what? You remind me of my husband.
He lied all the time, too.

But...

Bosse, hi!

-Have you seen Lennart?
-No and I never want to see him again.

-Can you spot me for a beer?
-I haven't got any cash.

Can you buy me one?
I've run out of money.

Why the hell should I buy you a beer?
Can you explain that?

I just told you. I've run out of money.

I paid to upgrade our cabin.
Then you stole the tip at dinner.

You've been like this for 25 years!
Is this ever going to fucking end?

I have some...

-I will not even lend you money.
-I have some home truths for you, too.

Bosse! Listen! Wait!

Karin or whatever the hell you're called.

You know he's married and is called
"The Conference Cock-slinger?"

I spent a whole night in jail due to your
dine-and-dash! I told the police nothing!

-Get out of here!
-What are you doing? He's going nowhere!

500 D-mark! And I haven't seen
a single fucking krona of it!

I love you, Bosse.

Yeah? And you don't love me?

I love you, Bosse.

Good morning, boys. You're free to go.

This should really be a police matter
but I'll turn a blind eye this time.

Thank you.

If there's the slightest trouble today,
the police will be waiting ashore for you.

-Understood?
-Definitely.

-He started it.
-I don't care who it was. Go to bed, now.

Hi, Dad, it's Lisa. I'd really
appreciate it if you came to my party.

Call me back, will you?

Love you!

There's something
we need to talk about.

I have something to say, too.

I borrowed your laptop yesterday
to do a bit of work in bed.

Okay. What do you mean?

I've seen what you've been up to.

I haven't been to that site.
It must be spam or something.

You promised never again.

-Can we discuss what I want to tell you?
-Has it got anything to do with this?

I have prostate cancer.

I have to have surgery
as soon as possible.

It's advanced
and there's a serious risk of me...

dying.

-When did you find this out?
-A bit over a week ago.

-And you didn't say anything?
-I was in shock. I still am.

-Yet you went traveling with your buddies.
-For God's sake, Ingela, it was...

I went for Bosse's sake.
He's depressed over his divorce.

The Finland ferry
doesn't sound like Bosse's idea.

Did you go to pick someone up? Lennart...

-One final shot before the operation?
-"Shot"?

Don't use words like that.
It's beneath you.

-They don't sound right in your mouth.
-That's exactly what it was all about.

It wasn't about any "shot."

Possibly about... the game.

The flirting, the excitement.

I admit it's brought me some joy.
Added a little spice to my life.

You're leaving me.

What do you mean?
Am I leaving you?

You mean that you're going to leave me,
now, when I'm dying, when I'm sick?

Am I to fight this on my own?

When you mention spicing up your life,
you make it very easy for me.

You can start by packing a suitcase.

Tell me when you're done
and I'll call a taxi.

You cab leave the car where it is.
Drop the keys off in the hall.

Hi, you've reached Lisa.
Leave a message after the beep. Bye!

Hi, Lisa, it's Dad.

I'm sorry for not calling earlier but...

I thought the party was next week,
but it turns out it's tomorrow.

So I can come by tomorrow if it's okay,
if you still want.

Call me.

Hello.

-Hi. Lennart Nyman?
-That's right.

-Welcome.
-Thanks.

Just to check, can we have
your civic registration number?

520304-0448.

Address and phone number?

The Park Hotel, for the time being.

Humlegårdsgatan or something.
I'm not sure. Sturegatan, maybe.

I see. We can take that later.

We need to get you showered
and out of those clothes.

We'll also give you a pill
to make you feel a bit better.

-Any family you'd like us to contact?
-No.

Okay.

Welcome, then. Follow me.

I'll just...

Hi! You made it!

Happy 30th birthday.

Mom's brought Erik.

Okay...

We didn't know if you'd show up,
so we said he could come.

It's okay.

There's food and wine
in the kitchen. Help yourself.

I'm so happy you made it!

What's so special about Rembrandt
is the light.

Hi, Bosse. Erik, this is Bosse.

So you're him. Hi.

-Hello. Bosse.
-Erik.

Hi.

There's hardly room to swing a cat!

But at the better parties
the kitchen is always where it's at.

That's true.

Well...

-I just came to get a beer.
-I see. Sorry.

-How was the trip?
-Good.

-Apart from everything going to pot.
-How do you mean?

We had a falling out.

Did you have a row? About what?

Petty things. It got a bit complicated,
but I'm going to sort it out.

Sounds good.
Won't you have something to eat?

I'll see how long I...

And he has such elegant brushwork, too.

If you go up real close
it looks like dollops of paint.

But if you take a step back,
the painting looks almost photographic.

I think it's brilliant.

-We went to Zorn House last weekend.
-A visit I can truly recommend.

I didn't quite hear... You said
something about Zorn's brushwork.

It's so elegant. It looks so easy.

-Let's leave it there, shall we?
-Would you like a coffee?

Wait, this is interesting.

I'd very much like to hear Erik talk
a little more about Zorn's brushwork.

Above all, it was a profound experience

to enjoy Anders Zorn's art
in the environment in which he created it.

The thing is, Erik, that Anders Zorn
was an incredibly skilled craftsman

but what he painted
was just well-produced kitsch.

It doesn't matter what you say.
Anders Zorn's paintings are art.

You are not qualified to determine
what is and isn't art.

With all due respect, Bosse...

you are a qualified conceited person.

-Maybe so, but I...
-Can I have a word?

A pleasure.

How do you think it makes Lisa feel
to hear you argue like that?

-Did you think about that?
-I'm sorry.

I find it a little nauseating
when someone like him

sounds off about Zorn's brushwork.

I couldn't care less
about what you think of Erik.

I'm very happy. We do things together...

While you just sit there
in front of the TV

moaning about how shallow
and tedious everything is.

I'm sorry to throw all this
in your face now.

-It's okay. I guess I asked for it.
-Yes. You did, actually.

Goodbye.

Are you leaving?

Yes. I have to go.

Thanks for coming.

I'd like you to know
it meant a lot to me.

Dad...

Thanks.

Thanks.

Hello. Can I come in?

Hang on.

Hello, Bosse. Come in.

Hi.

-How are things?
-They're good.

Or rather...

They're not, actually.

I...

keep blubbering.

They say that
it's the effect of the drugs.

-Are you in pain?
-Hell, no.

I'm on painkill...

A little, apparently.
Can you pass me the box?

Take one.

Ingela's kicked me out.

Has she? Now? Why?

Because I'm an asshole.

It's just that I feel...

Even if I deserve it,
it doesn't feel...

that it's the right time,
now when I'm dying.

Have you had a prognosis?

Yes, it's good. Very good, even.

I don't know.

It feels...

a bit shit.

I don't want to be alone, Bosse.

I want to live a while longer.

It feels a bit early to be packing it in.

It has its good sides.

Who gave you the chocolates?

Ingela.

She sent them here by courier.

I'm looking for someone.
Anna Williams, in Portugal.

Estoril is the village - or town.
Yes, I can hold.

0035...

17091...

22. Thanks very much.

-Need help?
-No, I'm good.

Anders? Anders!

It's Lennart and Bosse.

Open up!

Anders!

I'm fucking upset.

Okay...

We've called countless times.

Have you?

It's bad enough being mocked
by TV munchkins at a production bureau.

No doubt tax-dodgers, as well.

But you call me into question, too.
You think I'm boring.

We say those kinds of thing to each other
all the time. It's just banter.

Not in the same way.

It's like I don't count.

Why shouldn't you count?
You count as much as we do.

So you mean Bosse's more fun?
Now he's really boring.

-What the hell are you saying.
-You really are dead boring, Bosse.

Okay. But anyway...

you have no idea how mistreated
I was by those damn--

They don't know
what they're missing out on.

-Do you think so?
-Definitely.

Alright...

I understand that it's tough.
It's not always so easy being creative.

You have every right to be mad.

It gets you going, right?
It's good to get a bit mad.

Let's be creative and go take a beer.

What?

Thank you.

How are things, Lennart?

You know... They're alright.

If you need help with the move,
just say the word.

To me, too.

I promise. Ingela called.

She wants to meet for a talk.

-That sounds promising. Doesn't it?
-It does.

That's good.

-Shall we have a bet on the horses?
-Sure thing.

I'll have to give it a miss this time.
I need to take care of something.

Let's be in touch.

Okay.

How much do I owe you for the beer?

-It's alright. I've got it.
-Thanks. See you.

See you, Bosse!

SORRY!

Hi.

Hi.

Subtitle translation by Neil Betteridge