Broil (2020) - full transcript

Broil follows a dysfunctional family of demons vying to control the future of their wealth.

I used to think
being born a Sinclair

was the best thing that ever
happened to me.

There were rumors about us

and I always thought
they were just jealous.

They say Grandpa August
was a monster,

that he was the richest man
in history.

I always thought
he was the cheapest.

I think I convinced myself

I could actually be happy
being a Sinclair.

This is Geraldine
calling again from St. Paul's.

There's been an incident
at the school

and we have been trying
to reach you all night.

If you could please


I'm sorry about that, uh...

If you could please just...

give us a call back when
you get a chance.

Thank you.

Uh-uh-uh. No, no, no.

Get up, I need you to
take care of Luck.

- Oh, come on.
- Get up, out of bed.

I have, like, stuff to do.

Such as?

This is pretty good
for right now.

You gonna tell me why
you attacked that girl?

It's a miracle
it's only a one-day suspension.

The school called
Grandpa August's place

in the middle of dinner.

Uncle November thought
it was pretty impressive.

He didn't think
you had it in you.

How was last night?

Oh, same as every year.

And we have to go back and...

work on this business plan
for next year.

So you need to look after Luck.

Have fun!


Aunty A says she's sorry

- she missed your birthday.
- Mm-hmm.

She gave me
your birthday present.

It's downstairs
on the kitchen...



Dad. Hey.

Read the card first.

And don't you have something
to say to her?

Fighting? Suspension?

I head-butted her.

What the heck is this?

She got me a letter opener?

Uh, please be careful,
don't touch the blade.

Damn, that's sharp!

I can't believe
she bought this for you.

Dec, we gotta get going.


Uh, don't forget
your transfusions.

It's supposed to be
really sunny today.

So make sure you stay away
from the windows.

Luck needs to be in bed
by 8:00 p.m.

- Where are you going?
- No later, okay?

Mom, take Luck with you,
she'd love it.

Love you. Be good. Please.

- Bye, sweetie.
- Bye.

You're going to have
to start doing this soon.

Stupid adorable baby.

Stupid baby.

What? No, don't say that.

Hey sweetie,

looks like we're gonna have
to stay the night.


You sound stressed.

Yeah, your father's new business plan

is the work of a lunatic.

Hey, is Luck asleep?

In bed, right?

Oh yes, she's sound asleep.


Make sure she's not watching
any scary movies,

I don't want nightmares.

Love you.

- Love you, too.
- Bye.

Mornin', Chance.

Where's your coat?

Mom said
you had lunch money for me?

What, are you kidding me?

Uh, let's see.


Yeah, yeah.

All right, I'll pay you
not to get suspended today.

Let's go.

Come on, honey.


Le bourgeoisie
a perdu toute sa pertinence.

What this means
is that the bourgeoisie lost

all hope with the people.

So if you compare
this to what he said in 1892...

Listen up,
you disabled lesbian slut.

My dad is going
to sue you so fast,

you and your freak family
will be begging us

to take you outback
and put you down

like the disgusting
tasty ass-dogs you are.

You speak like that to me again

and I'll smash
your two front teeth in.

Oh wait,
I did that already, didn't I?


Chance said the N-word.

- We need eleven more.
- Good.

So, November and February
should make up that.

Those aren't
the type of souls we want.

They're preying on addicts
and weak people.

We need...
we need the type of souls

that your father wants
us to collect.

Says who? You?

I am just following
our doctrine.

Who's the head of this family,

We're serving
a greater purpose, father!

Who's the head of this family?

There's been an incident
at the school.

Yeah, no, that's fine.
I'll be right there.

She isn't to speak to any police
until we're present.

Now, is as good a time as any

to talk about the other things.

We're tired, father.

This will be our last harvest.

No child of mine
has ever left the family.

Then let me succeed you as
the head of House Sinclair.

Let me lead or let us walk.

Here's the deal.

A hundred more harvests.


- Fifty.
- No.



And I get Chance.

She's a full-blooded Sinclair.

She doesn't know
her own strength.

And she is soon to know

that the ruse that she has, uh,

a genetic defect is a lie.

One more harvest,
and your firstborn,

and you two can have
your freedom.

I really did only touch her.

And she always bitched about
wanting a nose job,

so she got her wish.


Why are we here?

What's going on?

No. No.


Hell no.

Mom, I'm sorry.
I get it, I messed up.

It's not your fault.

What does that even mean?

It means things are complicated.

This isn't fair.

It'll do you some good.

Grandpa August
is a mean son of a bitch,

but he's smart.
You can learn from him.

How long am I gonna
be living here for?

We'll see.

What about when I need checkups?

What about school?

What about my friends?

Is there even reception here?

I don't even have Wi-Fi.

I'm 17, this is my life.

This is kidnapping!

- This is...
- Homeschooling

is not kidnapping.

Exactly, homeschooling,

not "let's force Chance to live
with Grandpa August".

It won't be all that bad.

Your mother and I think
it's a good idea to get away

from city distractions
for a while.

And 18 is a big year
for a Sinclair.



Back me up.


I know it's a confusing time
for a young woman.

Changes in your body.

- Puberty.
- Oh, god!

Please kill me
before you finish that sentence.

You watch how you speak to me,
young lady.

Now, let's make the best of it.

We treat it like,
uh, a mini prep school.


Oh, okay.

You are free to go anytime
you want, young lady,

but then
I might have to write you out.

Of what?

Your will?

Hey, your shoes!

We finally have
our freedom.

All it cost us was
our firstborn.

Next harvest,

we kill him.

It's not running away

if you're running
back home, right?

I can hitchhike back
to Vancouver and say,

"Mom, Dad, I'm sorry,
I'll go to school and..."”

If you take another step,
you will never, ever

be able to call yourself
a Sinclair again.

This is why everybody calls
you "the creepy uncle".

Lurking around
the forest with...

What is that?


It's been in
our family since the first days.

And tradition dictates
that each Sinclair

should learn the power
to wield it.

Hey, you know
you're my favorite uncle.

Right, uncle No-no?

Well, I hope you
can fight better than you lie.

I know we're in the shade,
but mom says

I can't be outside in the sun
for more than ten minutes, so...

You know what, that's a lie.

Because it takes an hour
before the Sinclair sunburn

makes you want
to cut your head off.

Being a Sinclair
is all about power, loyalty.

And if you fall in line,
you can wield that power too.

I know Mom and Dad
abandoned me here

so I could learn how
to be all proper and nice,

but this ain't me.

Well, then
what do you think you are?

I don't know. I like design.
I like fashion,

or maybe graphic design.


First book,
last shelf in the study.

It'll help you see
what's right in front of you.

Now, if you want to get out
of this house alive,

you must learn how to win.

Yeah, no.

Who are we?

I have been waiting for you
to ask that question

since you took
your first breath.

The Sinclairs
are gifted.

We have gifts
that others don't have.

A purpose.

Which is?

To make the world right.

It gives you the power
over one thing.


And we have more time
than most.

Happy birthday.

Now, blow out those candles.


Hello? Chance!

I want
to get you out of here.

For tonight,
you have to trust me.

Who the hell are you?

I'm The Chef.
Who the hell are you?

Tonight has been
5,000 years in the making.

Five thousand years
for one meal.

One attempt to take the life
of August Sinclair.

I'm so sick...

of not even knowing
if I'm being lied to.

You can trust me when I say

that no one knows how
to hurt you quite like family.

Mom's assistant, Mickey,

how did she convince Sydney
to help mom?

Come on, bruv. Take it!

Get it all. Take it!

What you looking at, huh?

What you lookin' at?

Get the fuck out of here!

What the fuck do you want?

What's wrong with you?

Mr. Two Black Coffees.

How's your morning going?

Come on, spaz, let's go.

Hey, Kyle, fuck off.

What the hell did you say to me?

Start walking
or I will shove this

so far up your ass

you'll be tasting
dark roast for a month.

Overpriced hipster
shit anyway.

Can I get you anything else?

Now, our top story.

A 22-year-old man
wanted in connection

to a series of muggings
was found dead

in the Hastings
skate park today.

Police suspect his death

is connected to a string
of related murders.

They're appealing for the public
to share any information

they might have about our
city's own Angel Of Vengeance.

In other news,
the markets are reeling today

after energy conglomerate
Sinclair Mining

announced the acquisition
of Henty Solar

in a move
that shocked Wall Street...

No, no, no, no.
No, you can't be...

What are you doing?
We talked about this.

You can't just barge into
my place of work. Are you...

My boss needs The Chef.

Well then, maybe
your boss should learn

to take no for an answer.

My job depends on it.

Look, I know
I owe you.

This thing in Saskatoon...

Hey there, Chef.

My boss is real a big fan
of your work.

One night gig
and make more money with me

than you'll do with this guy
in a year.

this isn't professional.

Plus, he's not for sale.

I'll see you soon.



No, no, no, no, no.

That's, that's a big no.

Mickey is involved
in something big here.

She's been bugging me
for a week about it.

Okay? There's no poker face
on that girl.

She said the customer's,
like a Lord Evil-type guy.

So he won't let me run
a background check on her, okay?

So it's fine, don't sweat it.


New pans.


New pans.

Old ones are starting to chip.


Mr. Two Black Coffees,
right on time.

can I ask you a question?

I don't know. Can you?

Our coffee sucks.

It's not great.

Well, I tried serving
the good stuff,

but nobody wanted to pay
the extra quarter for it, so...

Uh, question?

Why do I feel like I know you
from somewhere?

Just ask her out already,
you spaz.


Anything else for you,
Mr. Two Black Coffees?

He's weird.

Oh, my god.

Oh, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, it's me.

Look, you trust me, right?


Okay, well, I trust you
more than you will ever know,


...something is wrong.

If table two
still wants their sandwich...

No, no, no, it has nothing
to do with table...


Get out back, run. Go, now!

Good afternoon, chef.

Everybody out!

Mickey, you don't wanna do this.

Freddie, why don't you
just sit down and shut up?

Chef, my friend Freddie here

tells me that you're quite
the toxicologist, huh?

What's this?


Garden variety.

Incredibly common.

And these?

Conium Maculatum Arcus.

Only grows in silver mines.

One sprout
is enough to kill a hundred men.

So potent even crows feeding
on a carcass will die.

It's a violent death.
Sudden, painful.

Arch hemlock can be diluted
by drinking milk

within the first five minutes
of ingestion.

- Calcium...
- Once ingested, how long...

Six minutes
to enter the blood-stream.

Sixty-nine minutes before
the respiratory system

begins to fail and 70 minutes
before full cardiac arrest.

For a human, that is.

You're perfect.

Here's the rub.

Tonight my family
will be gathering

for their annual feast.

You will be our chef.

You will cook us a most
exquisite meal.

And you will poison the host.

- Who's the host?
- My father.

Or take your time.

However, my husband will start

to cut off bits
of Freddie's face

until you say yes.

And after
there is nothing left to tell

between your friend
and a piece of raw meat,

I'll pay
that lovely coffee stall

you like so much a visit, hmm?



You've got a little crush, huh?

Young love is so cute.




That's impossible.

He has quite
a diabolic constitution.

Arch hemlock
is the only choice.

Syd, don't do it, don't!

You think I'm a monster
for asking you to do this?

I need to save my family
at any cost.

I'll do it.

Mickey will keep an eye

on Freddie.

I'm sure they have
plenty of old war stories

to catch up on.

Hey, Luck,

Cousin Mickey,

she's going to be hangin' out
with you tonight, okay?

You listen to her, okay?

- Okay.
- Be good.

Deep breaths. Take a second
to get used to the air here.

Oh, look, who it is!

How's my family?

Let the games begin, huh?


Razor won the fight, huh?

And June, you look thin.

Everything okay?

- Father.
- Give your daddy a hug.


And let me guess.

This must be The Chef.

June said very high things
about you.

It's a pleasure.

A real pleasure.

You have an expensive-looking
home, Mr. Sinclair.

Oh, so might as well
be a shoebox to me.

Look, why don't you two
say hello to Chance?

She's a bit moody.

Myself and the Chef need
to do a little chat.

I love my garden, I do.

I had a tomato patch going
and some green peas over there.

You know, I don't envy now
the task you have ahead of you.

I want tonight's meal
to be life-affirming.

I will do my best.

I appreciate
the honesty.

It's best to be honest.

Yet life sometimes calls
for dishonesty.

Such as when a wife asks you
if you enjoy her cooking.

Or if I were to ask you,

"Are you here to poison me?"

It's okay, I'm only joking.

So tell me about yourself.

Enlighten me.

My name
is Sydney Francis Lawson.

I am 24 years old
and I like to cook.

My father taught me the basics.

He must be proud of you.

He said I'm an
embarrassment to my family.

That's funny.

My father said
the same thing about me.

What did you do about it?

I got angry and then
I forgave him.

And he gave me this.

Come inside.

Can you read this?


We'll have a blue cheese
and steak crostini

for the appetizer.

And then, later on,

we'll have ribs
with a tamarind glaze.

And for dessert,

chocolate chip cookies

and vanilla bean ice cream.


Because who doesn't like cookies
and ice cream.

Don't give
me that look.

You clearly don't know
what you're dealing with.

You can't say no to Sinclairs.

Why didn't you give him up?

Her family,
they decide when to start a war.

When to end a famine.

When to kill the help.

What was the price
for screwing over

your old friend Freddie?

They'll make me part
of the family.

If June pulls this off,
she's gonna make me one of them.

And if you play ball,

then maybe she'll
give you a job. The kid, too.

You're out of your mind.

you trained him well enough.

He's a natural-born Killer.

No one's born to kill.

And I didn't
make him do anything.

Would you let him
live here rent-free

if he wasn't you know,

knocking off
all your bad customers?


That's interesting.

Are you scared of him,

Syd's dangerous, Mick.

He sees things, patterns.

I met him at a homeless shelter.

The guy was a hell of a cook
and he was a hell of a fighter.

Did you even run
a background check on him?

Of course, I ran
a background check.

Age eight, his mom
and his sister split,

and then he had
to get raised by his dad,

and he was a real asshole, so...


His dad ends up dying
when Syd's eleven.

He bounces from city to city.

Syd's life makes Greek tragedies
look like fairy-tales.

Yeah, and then he met you
four years ago

and the two of you
have been knocking off

all your bad customers
like there's no tomorrow.

He also visits
that coffee girl every day

but he doesn't have the guts
to ask her out.

No, he doesn't like her
like that.

You know, you and I made
a pretty good team

back in the day.

Now, maybe June pulls off
this little revolution,

what do you say you and I
go on a celebratory bender?


Getting soft on me, are you,
gunny professional babysitter?

Don't start with me.


What's your name, cutie?

I've had many names.

My name was Typhon and Moloch.

My daddy made me change
my name so many times.

We really have
to be going.

The lady obviously doesn't
want you talking to her kid,

so keep walking, psycho.

I was just having a little fun.

November, stay back
or I will shoot!

I'm here
for the steaks.

Oh. Sure, why don't you come in
and make yourself at home?

I'll take that
as my invitation.


Hey, Luck.

Come with aunt May.
Let's go play.

Who the hell are you?

I am The Chef.
Who the hell are you?


In the kitchen!

Oh, my god! Dad!

You... you look old.

You never look old.
What's wrong?

Grandpa August is the
worst to live with.

Is Luck here?

What the...

What the hell are you wearing?


I made it
out of an old shirt I found.

You look like a death
metal pin cushion.

Nice to see you too, mom.

when can I come home?

August still thinks he can make
a proper lady out of me,

but let me tell you something,

that ship has crashed, sailed,
and now has a...

Chance, put some clothes on,
and clean this up.

Cut her some slack.

She's a young woman
living in my house rent-free.

The least she can do
is not dress like a whore.


August just called me a whore.

I said you looked like a whore.

Whether you're taken after
your mother or not

remains to be seen.

Now, put some clothes on
and prepare for dinner.


You know,
I like this chef, June.

Knows when to talk,
knows when to listen.

My favorite kind of man is...

Is a man of few words.

When will the steaks arrive?

Soon, chef, soon.

Everything is going
perfectly according to plan.



I made it myself

out of some of Grandma January's
old sewing stuff.

I like designing.

I think I want to do fashion.

There's this program

at a university
called the Sorbonne?

No! Down! Put it down!

Dude, relax.

It's just, like, food.

It's not just food,
it's part of the meal.

Put it down.


Listen to The Chef.

Whatever, psycho.

- Apologize. Now!
- No!

Sorry I called you psycho.


You stupid, stupid girl.

I haven't seen you in a year

and you're treating me
like Luck.

It was just a freaking sprout!

Now, what would you like
your new sous to do

to be of service, chef?

She can get out of the kitchen.


Dish duty.


Why don't we go
for a little tour?

I found this here

Would you like it?

you dress like a Sinclair.

Stop that.


I'm sorry if you got offended.

It's just life here is weird.

August won't
let me have friends over

and he won't
let me have the internet.

I'm sorry,
but it was just a sprout.

I need your help.


I can do toast and burnt toast.

The Sinclairs, vampires,
demons, or a werewolf cult?

Which is it?

Okay, a lot to unpack there.

I have a skin condition.

It's genetic.

If I go out into the sun,
a rapid influx of vitamin D

causes fast-reacting tumors
to grow.

I don't want that.

I wanna see the world and shit.

That's why I have
to get daily blood transfusions.

so your parents lied to you.

You're a vampire.

No! We're just rich.

Rich people are weird,
that is a fact.


I could have you fired.

Drink this.


There's like 101 calories
in every cup of milk.

You were just drinking
chocolate milk.

Dude, that was chocolate milk.

Drink it!

Chocolate milk is different.

Oh, who's this?

Oh, chef.

Meet my youngest daughter.

Isn't she hot, huh?

Doesn't she wear that body well?

- Woo!
- Whoa.

Now have you a present for me?

Special delivery,
fresh off the bone.

Smell that.

- Mm.
- Mm.

- Oh, my god.
- Isn't he handsome?

He is so cute!

Just look at this thing.

Mm, mm, mm, can we keep him?

I know what you want
for dessert.


Why don't we take a look
at the meat, huh?

Have you ever seen
anything so exquisite?


Do me a favor.

After you serve the entrées,

why don't you two
take a chill pill,

hang around here?

We have some private family
affairs to discuss,


- Sir, the meat is...
- Is fresh.

From quality livestock,
I can assure you.

It's gonna be
one hell of a night.

Chance told me.

Ice cream milk.

Thank you.

How do you poison a man

who knows
he's gonna be poisoned?

He doesn't suspect a thing.

What did he do to you?

He has...


Archaic ones.

He thinks family
is just another word for slave.

You just focus on
what I brought you here to do.

If you want to save Chance, run.

You're an idiot.

I don't run.

Luck's fine.

Mickey would die before anything
happened to them.

His guard is down.

We proceed.

And you call me an idiot.

Life is a series of patterns.

Water boils
at 100 degrees Celsius.

Bread toasts at 176.

I do not see the world,

I watch it.

Your father knows
I'm gonna poison him.

I will not die tonight.

That's the spirit.

Look, if I'm wrong,

do whatever it takes
to get out of here.

As dear demented father
always said,

the ends will always
justify the means.

Machiavelli said it.

Father said it first.

This plate to father, chef.


Absolutely beautiful.

Anything you want to tell me?

After dinner.

Sydney's here to kill August.

After dinner.

No, one question.

It's silly, really, am I...

- Are we...
- Going to be okay?


After dinner.

I'll tell you everything,
I promise.

I love you.

Say it back.

After dinner.

A toast!

As you all know,

it will be June
and December's final harvest.

Good family,

good drink,

and great food.

To June and December.

What do you think you're doin'?

Sitting down.

That's November's chair.

When you learn to act
like a Sinclair,

you can dine like one.


Would you do us the honor

of having the first taste?


Chef. Chef!

My plate, please.

Anything else?


We'll call you when we're ready
for the next course.

Everyone is named after
a month, except you,

even your father. Why?

Grandpa August says
it's an old Sinclair tradition,

but I think it's hella

cause even those who
marry into the family

have to change their names.

I need to know who is on
your mother's side.


And I guess aunty April.

What the hell is going
on in there?

Who is missing from the table?

Grandma January,

but she's been gone
since I was a baby.

And Uncle November.

He's the family psycho.

Don't use that word.

It's true.

Mom and Dad
are petrified of him.

- You need to run.
- Run? Run where?

We're a million miles
within anything.

Pace yourself.

I'm not running.

So hide.


I'm more of a hiding in a...

"different closet" kind of girl.

I want you to live through this.

Who would've thought Nazi's

would be a problem again?

Is it true that grandfather has

a special kind of torture
for them?

I heard that he takes a Menorah,

and he puts it up their arse,

and he lights it from
the inside.


Did you enjoy your meal?



I'm trying to keep room
for the main course.

I need to save room for dessert.

You know
how I hate to waste food.

Why don't you pass
your plate to December?

You think I'm a weak leader?

Is that why you tried
to poison me?

Say your piece.

House Sinclair...

is dying.

We've been called angels,

Chance thinks we're vampires.

Our place in the natural order
of things is to cull the damned.

Yet July preys on addicts.

May on glutinous
New York socialites.

April on the lost.

I can bring us prosperity

and happiness of the likes
we have never known.

But not with that monster
at the head of House Sinclair.

Who will have the courage
to stand with me?

As sure as the sun will rise,

parents are destined

to be empowered
by their children

or embarrassed by them.

This is the thanks I get?

I tutored your child.

All I asked was your obedience.

I even gave
your indignant husband a place

in our family.

We were never family.

I have a family.


Father wasn't sure
who else was conspiring

in your coup d'gacher,

so I paid Cousin Mickey
a visit today.

What have you done?

Where's Luck?

Be proud.

Little Lucky put up much more
of a fight than Mickey.

Where is my child?


So good, mmm.

I should have done
this years ago.

Bloody coward.

You said that to me once before.

I took your tongue then.

You know what
I'm going to take this time?

To the devil.

Say it!

Say it! Say it!

Sinclair ever after!

We dine on the traitors tonight!

You all knew
June was plotting something

and you didn't tell me?

We had it under control.

That was cruel!

You made her eat her child,


Is this what we do,

What's up, fam?

What've I missed?

Sydney didn't deserve
any of this.

I do. I tried to kill them.

Every family has its monsters.

We're just extra.

I'll have a piece of June.

I call dibs on the heart.

Well, boys,
now do we feel up for it, huh?

My story isn't your story.

That's what family is, I think.

One big story.

Each generation
is a new chapter.

The day you were born,
dad went to August

and asked to be free
of the Sinclair curse.

He said no.

Dad asked again.

So August ripped the tongue
from his mouth.

How come we couldn't see
what we were?


Look, I'm really flattered

you want in your cult
or whatever this is,

but I'm not really interested.
It's not my thing.

Everything will be fine.

Fine? We're in the basement
of a family of vampires.

Vampire is an

Why do they want me?

They, they, they see me
get coffee from you every day.

They think I like you.

- Oh.
- I don't.

Oh, well, you're super charming,
you know that?

You know, Adelaide doesn't
like you either,

she thinks you're a creep.

Does she?

Who comes to a coffee stand
every day for four years?

Don't you have a life?

She's open every day.

She has nowhere else to go.

All her family
is dead or something.

What's your excuse?

Is Adelaide okay?

I don't know.

I think she got away.

The psycho in
the white hoodie got me first.

was a little salty.

Try and add ketchup?

Why did you eat
from August's plate?

If I did not,
he would not have trusted me.

Arch hemlock,

it kills your kind, right?

Sunlight, silver,
and arch fucking hemlock,

those are the three things
that can kill us.

And you are?

Servants of heaven
save the good.

Servants of hell
cull the damned.

As above so below ever after.

Making a mother eat
her own child

is culling the damned?

What a night!

We culled the weak
from the herd.

Sinclair ever after.

Sinclair ever after.

Sinclair ever after.

Sinclair ever after.

The traitors, June and December.

They hired a killer,
an assassin,

who was so obedient that he ate
from my poisoned plate.

Don't you laugh!

Don't you dare laugh at him!

He showed courage.


He understands us.

I have never Killed
for pleasure.

Haven't you?

I see in your eyes,
in your soul,

you're a soldier looking
for an army.

We could be your army.

Your family.

We strive
to make the world right.

Why did you have
to kill the kid?

The seed from a bad tree
is never good.

See, that's the beauty
about being a Sinclair.

We decide who lives.

Take me for what I have done,

but let Dakota live.

No, no, no, son.

What you take as weakness
I take as strength.

How far would you go
to be called "Sinclair"?

Does it come
with health insurance?

Good dental?

I will never be a Sinclair.

Your loyalty
is touching.

So we're going
to have a little game

to break that loyalty.

Tonight is gonna be
all about seeing

how far you will go

to protect someone you love.

Everyone has their limits.

I think I know yours.


This year,

the game night
is gonna be the three trials.

Syd... Syd, what's going on?

You can't, you can't be here.

No, I can't.
It's not really my thing.

So I'll leave you
to the rich assholes.


You kill the three trials

and I let Dakota go free.

Freddie is you first trial.

I can't win.

In this life?

Probably not.

I'm proud of you, Syd.

I love you.

You can't do it?

Let me give you a news flash.

All your bad customers
that Freddie sent to you,

there's a bounty on their heads.

He got paid.

Don't, don't listen to him.

Syd, he's lying.

He used you.

He used you, chef.

I'm proud of you, kid.
I love you.

Did you lie to me?

Did you lie, lie, lie...

Lie, lie, lie!


a slight change of plans.

will be the next trial.

Get Chance.

Chance is in a closet

Chance is in a closet

Where is my child?

Oh, so now you want to see me.

What the hell is going on?

If anyone finds out
Lady Hellfire struggles

to light a campfire...


I can do this.

I shouldn't be scared.

I need to make her feel welcome.

How about "welcome"?

No, oh!



That was something.

Okay, Chance you can,
you can do this.

Hello? Come out!

Come on, let's play!

Oh, little bird.

August has been waiting
years to taste you.


Let's see if your taste
is as good as your mom.

Bitch, I would
start running if I was you.

I can smell you.

No! No! No!

Stop! Please! Please!

Stop! No, no!

No, please!

No! Stop!

Oh, you poor thing.

Ease off the wine,

they'll grow back in an hour.



Where is mom?

You wanted to know
what you were.

Well, this is it.


Oh well,
they were delicious.

I do think The Chef should get
some kind of an award though

for how he prepared
little baby Luck.

Simply divine.

You monsters!

I will never be like you.


New deal.

Kill her and you can
have your freedom.




free, free?

Like free, free.

Like a little bird.


Excuse me?

I wanted it to be epic
and I scared you.

Oh, I knew I'd screw this up.

Hello, hi!

Um, would you like a sword?

Would a sword
make you feel safer?



Well, why didn't you say so?


Three, two, one.

This doesn't make any sense!

I know this is all very strange,

but you've really got no choice
but to trust me.

Now, give me a hug.

- Am I really...
- Yeah.

You know, I always thought
God would be more

"Hi, I'm Morgan Freeman."

I'm no God.

Use your head, stupid.


The one and only and
as adorable as ever.


you were...

And now, I'm ta-da!

Time doesn't work the same way
here the way it does there.

It's more...

Mom and Dad? Are they here?

Mom and Dad are together.

Happy. And The Chef?

Well, if all goes to plan,
the chef dies.

Right now, he's counting down

until the arch hemlock
takes effect,

but he's off by two seconds
and I'm rambling.


No, this isn't happening.

It's been happening
since August...

Actually he's gone
by many names.

Samael, Kölski,
Al-Shaitan, Dracula,

The Infernal Revelation...

since he stole
the King of Horn's heart,

like ripped it from his chest.

- And then the King of Halos...
- The King of what?

Halos? Like...

He stole the heart
of the King of Horns.

It was a huge deal, epic.

Sun dragons
and hellfire cannons...

Are we evil King Demon vampires?

Evil? Uh...

Is a knife a weapon or a tool?

If we are V-words, it's up to us
what we do with it.

Sure, the Sinclairs need
daily human blood to survive,

and if we stay the sun too long
we turn into fireballs, and...

We're seriously vampires.

I know this is a lot.

I was just as scared as you are

when I found out our family's
little secret.

It really is you.

I've waited so,
so long to see you.

I have to tell you something

otherwise, this will all be
for nothing.

We don't have long before
August finds us here.



bring in the third trial.


I don't know
what happened.

They grabbed me.

This is sick.

You bastard, I'll kill you!

- I'll crush your head!
- Hey!


I haven't had
this much fun

since Titus and the lions.

Take the blade.

Do it!

Go on!


are you ready to join
the family?

Is that a yes?


I knew you'd come around.

Unfortunately, there is no room
in the family for you.

So what I'm going to do
is devour them all.

But we're going to show you
a little mercy.


how about
we give this brave warrior

a hero's execution?

Ah, yes.

Good boy.

I used to think
being born a Sinclair

was the best thing
that ever happened to me.

Your eyes look
even more beautiful than before.

I think I convinced
myself that I...

I could actually be happy.

Tonight has been 5,000 years
in the making.

Five thousand years
for one meal.

One attempt to take the life
of August Sinclair.

You were a worthy
adversary, son.

Look at you now.

Fourteen, thirteen, twelve...

- Why the fuck is he counting?
- eleven...

Put his head on the stone.



Put his head
on the rock.


Seven, six...

five. four...


- Two!
- What's he doing?

Enough! Give me the sword!

Kill him, he did this.


We were made
to kill the monsters,

not become them.

You've lost your way,


My entire family is dead.

I ate one of my nieces.

I watched the other have her
throat crushed.

Why am I still alive?


Because you didn't eat June.

Of course, I didn't eat her!

She was my sister.

How'd you know August
would eat her?

He liked to devour his enemies.

Any chef would have known
that the steaks May brought

were not from a cow.

So you didn't poison August.

You poisoned June and December

- hoping...
- Knowing.

That he'd eat her.

If June's plan
would have worked,

would you have followed her?

June was my father's daughter.

Eventually, power corrupts.

They got some really shiny
things in here.

It's not right to steal.

Says the serial Killer.

Normally, yes,
but they're not people.

How's that for a loophole?

I should be a lawyer.

Mr. Two Black Coffees.


I thought my family
was a disaster, but...

...but them.

Gosh, what a night.

Christ Almighty.




Your name is Sydney?

That is so weird.

I had a brother called Sydney.

Do you know what
happened to him?

Mom said
there was a fire.

No one was in the house.

Every army sent

to recover the King of Horn's
heart was cut down.

So The Chef was forged.

Someone August
would underestimate.

If Sydney failed, they would
have kept trying.

Over and over.

His actions saved everyone.

And now?

Sydney is free.

When I learned of their plan,

I made a deal
with The Above and The Below.

Sydney had been robbed of
the first 24 years of his life,

so I demanded
they give those years

to someone else.



I've seen too much to go back.



I don't deserve it.

You're absolutely right.

I'm scared.

I know.

I love you.

I love you and I know
you'll be alright.