Brighton Beach Memoirs (1986) - full transcript

? Good morning, glory ?

? Say there,
stop that yawning ?

? A brand-new day
is dawning ?

? Pull up the shade,
and let the sun come through ?

? Good morning, glory ?

? Spend about an hour ?

? Underneath the shower ?

? And keep on singin'
like the birdies do ?

? Ho-hum, ho-hum ?

? While you're waiting
for your toast ?

? Call the one
you love the most ?



? Pick up the phone
and start in saying ?

? Good morning, glory ?

? Were you
dreaming of me ?

? And do you
still love me ?

? Well, baby,
here's a kiss for you ?

? Good morning, glory ?

? Say there,
stop that yawning ?

? A brand-new day
is dawning ?

? Pull up the shade,
and let the sun come through ?

? Good morning, glory ?

? Spend about an hour ?

? Underneath the shower ?

? And keep on singin'
like the birdies do ?

? Ho-hum, ho-hum ?



? While you're waiting
for your toast ?

? Call the one
you love the most ?

? Pick up the phone
and start in saying ?

? Good morning, glory ?

? Were you
dreaming of me ?

? And do you
still love me ?

? Well, baby,
here's a kiss for you ??

Plie...

and 2...

3...

4...

Elbows up.

And 2...

3...

open, 4.

And plie...

2...

3...

open, and...

The crowd is hushed
at Yankee Stadium...

The House
that Ruth Built...

As the early autumn shadows...

cast itself
over the right field fence.

The flags flap wildly
in the breeze.

As we move into
the top of the seventh inning,

with one strike
on JoJo Moore,

Red Ruffing pitches.

I thought
it was a gunshot.

Yeah, I'll give
him a gunshot.

One out,
a man on second,

top of the seventh,
two strikes on JoJo Moore.

What did I tell you about
banging the ball?

Aunt Blanche
has a headache.

I can't stop. It's a crucial moment
in World Series history.

The Yanks are
playing the Giants.

I'm not gonna tell you again!
Do you hear me?

I don't want him
to stop playing.

It's just the banging.

He always does it
when I'm studying.

One more pitch.
I can get him to pop up.

I've got my stuff today.

Your father will
give you his stuff
when he gets home.

Get in here and put out
the water glasses! Now!

I'll put out
the glasses.

Why, is
his arm broken?

I've told him
109 times about
making noises.

[Bang]

Don't yell
on my account.

I'm through.

I got him out.
I knew I had my stuff.

Wash your hands.

They're clean.
I'm wearing a glove.

Don't talk
back to me!

I wasn't talking back,
I was answering.

Who asked you
anything?

And don't answer
under your breath
when I walk away.

Oh, sh...

What?

I hear you!

If they cut
my ears off,

I would still hear her
through my nose.

That's enough sewing
for today.

All I need is
for you to go blind.

[Cough]

Is your throat
sore again?

No. It's
the same one
from before.

What are you
doing in there,
Eugene?

"What... are... you...

"doing... in... there...

"Eugene?

She bellowed
in her loud voice."

Eugene!

Eugene!

I'm coming!

I'm coming.

I hate my name.

Eugene Morris Jerome.

How will I ever play
for the Yankees...

with a name like that?

- [Boys Chattering]
- Yeah! Hey, catch the ball!

[Eugene Narrating]
You have to beJoe, Tony, or Frankie.

All the best Yankees
are Italian.

My mother makes spaghetti
with ketchup.

What chance do I have?

[Sighs]

Actually...

I think I'm going
to be a writer.

I want to write books
or plays or movies.

[Narrating] That is, if things don't
work out with the Yanks.

Yeah.

I'll definitely
be a writer.

[Woman] Eugene?

Eugene?

Hello! Eugene!

Oh, hello,
Mrs. Laski.

I thought you promised...

to help me
clean out my basement.

Oh, I am, I am.

Not for nothing.

I'll give you something.

[Thinking] Is she thinking
what I'm thinking?

You have better color today,
sweetheart.

Did you get a little sun?

I walked down
to the beach.

Very slowly,
I hope.

Yes, Ma.

She always does
what she's told,
that one.

Eugene!

Pick up
those magazines.

[Narrating]
She gets special treatment...

because the doctors say
she has a flutter in her heart.

So I have to do
all her work.

She'd better have
a bad heart,

or I'm going
to kill her one day.

What's this?

Isn't it
a roller skate?

On the
kitchen floor?

I didn't
leave it there.

No? Who skates
in the kitchen,
Laurie? Blanche?

How many times
have I told you...

not to leave your things
around the house?

109.

What?

You said yesterday,

"I told you 109 times, not to leave
your things around the house. "

Don't be fresh, Eugene.

Go upstairs. Put it
in the closet.

[Thinking] I'm putting all this down
in my memoirs...

so if I grow up
twisted and warped,

the world will know why.

Hi, Mr. Farber!

Where you runnin'?
I got the new Silver Screen.

I have to get home.

I've got the most
incredible news.

I'll tell you tomorrow!

What's this?

My hockey puck.

On the kitchen floor.

I almost
killed myself.

Suppose father came home,

and I was dead
on the kitchen floor?

I'd say, "Don't go
in the kitchen, Pa."

Ooh!

Hey, shoes on the bed.

That's bad luck
in a Jewish house.

It's notJewish.
Italians built it.

You're looking
to get it.

I need Swiss cheese.
Go to Greenblatt's.

Now?

No. Next year
when I'm dead.

Tell him
four thin slices.

You hear?

Very thin!

The kind
you see through.

Don't forget the deposit
on the empty milk bottle.

Don't climb
so fast, sweetheart.

You'll get overheated.

Sid Luckman of Columbia
awaits the snap from center.

The snow falls
in a near blizzard.

He fades back.

He passes...

and Luckman's got it!

Luckman catches
his own pass!

Hey, watch it!

He's on the 50...
[Car Horn Honking]

The 40...

[Horn Honks]

The 35...

the 30...

the 25...

Oh, my God!

Sorry, Eugene.

My mother
will kill me.

It wasn't
your fault.

She'll charge me
for dessert tonight.

How much is the deposit?
Three cents.

Here. Here.

Here's a dime.

A dime?

That was
a great run.

Gee, thanks,
Mr. Murphy.

Oh, uh...

say hello
to your Aunt Blanche
for me, huh?

I will.

He'll do anything to get in good
with Aunt Blanche.

That's why I purposely
dropped the bottle.

What am I gonna do
about him, Blanche?

I found lima beans
in his closet.

They would've grown
into a tree.

He'll grow
out of it.

Think Nora's
any better,

the way she leaves
her clothes around?

Girls are different.

The day Mama left
the house in Russia,

she cleaned
from top to bottom.

She said, when the Cossacks
broke into her house,

[Together] "They would have respect
for theJews."

Who were the Cossacks?

The same filthy bunch that
lives across the street.

You mean the Murphys?

All of them.

The mother is nice.

She's been
very sweet to me.

Her windows
are so filthy,

I thought
she had black curtains.

I think Frank Murphy's
sweet on Mom.

You mean that
drunken son ofhers?

Kate, stop it.

Listen, he knows
your situation.

I know their kind.

Remember what
Mama used to say.

"Stay on your own side
of the street.

That's what they have gutters for."

Is that thin enough?

A little thinner.

Ma likes it
when it floats.

That's better.

Who died?

Mr. Nunzio.

The shoemaker?

Wow, what happened?

He had [Whispers] cancer.

Why do old people
always whisper...

what someone dies from?

Like my Uncle Dave,
Aunt Blanche's husband.

He died from a
[Whispers] coronary.

People from the old country...

think it's bad luck
to say a disease out loud.

Like if God hears you,
he'll give it to you.

My grandfather died from
[Whispers] diphtheria.

Anyway, after Uncle Dave died,

he left Aunt Blanche with no money...
not even insurance.

She couldn't support herself
because she has [Whispers] asthma.

[Eugene Narrating] Mother
took her in with her two daughters.

My father had to take
anotherjob...

to support us all.

Besides cutting raincoats,

he sells party favors
to nightclubs.

I think it's getting to him
because I heard Mom say...

Pop was developing
[Whispers] high blood pressure.

Eugene!

Eugene!

My sweet, adorable,
handsome cousin.

Wait till you hear
what's happened to me!

You won't believe
this, Mama.

You just
won't believe it.

[Laurie] Well, tell us already.
The suspense is killing me.

Don't say things
like that.

What is it, Nora?
What happened?

Shh!

[Laurie] She takes so long.

I'm going to be
in a Broadway show.

It's a musical called
Abracadabra.

This man, Mr. Beckman...

He's a producer...

Came into our dancing class
this afternoon,

and he picked out
three girls.

We start rehearsing
a week from Monday.

Then it goes
to Philadelphia,

Wilmington, Washington.

Then it comes
to New York...

the second week
in December.

There are nine
big musical numbers.

There's going to be
a glass tank...

you can see through,

and the big finale
all takes place...

with the entire cast
all underwater.

I mean,
can you believe it?

I'm going to be in
a Broadway show, Mama!

What's she
talking about?

Do I know?

Am I her mother?

How can you be in a show?
Don't you have to sing and act?

I can sing.

No, you can't.

A little.

No, you can't.

I can carry a tune.

No, you can't.

I probably won't have to.

They're just
looking for dancers.

[Blanche] Did you tell him
how old you were?

He didn't ask me.

He didn't ask
if you were 16?

He just asked me
to audition.

My God, isn't
anybody excited?

I am. It's the most
fantastic thing I ever heard.

Thanks, Eugene.

I'm glad
somebody's
excited.

How can you
go to Philadelphia?

What about school?

It's
a Broadway show.

It's what
I want to do.

Algebra and English
isn't going to help me
on the stage.

[Laurie] Aren't.

You stay out of this!

[Blanche] Forget about school.
Do you know how hard it is...

for a girl
to get a good job...

without
a high school diploma?

Tell her, Kate.

It's very hard.

Then I'm asking
something else.

Let me do something
for you now.

I could be making
almost $60 a week,
maybe more.

I wouldn't make
that much today...

with
a college diploma.

[Narrating] It was a tense moment
for everybody.

I love tense moments,

especially when I'm not
the one they're tense about.

UncleJack
will be home soon.

We'll discuss it
at dinner.

Can you believe it?
16 years old.

I have to call
Mr. Beckman now...

about the audition
on Monday.

Please don't say no
until Monday.

We'll leave it
up to UncleJack.

We'll let him
make the decision.

Why, Mama?

I love him,
but he's not my father.

Because I need help.

I don't always know
what the right thing
to do is.

Because...

I say so!

That's why.

You have nothing
better to do?

I need bread.

What?

Run over to Greenblatt's
and get fresh rye bread.

I just came back
from Greenblatt's.

So you'll go again.

I'm always going
to the store!

When I grow up,
that's all I'll know.

Never mind. I'll go.

Don't do that.

Don't make me
feel guilty.

And get a quarter
pound of butter.

I bought a quarter pound
this morning.

You should buy
half pounds.

Suppose the house
burned down this afternoon.

Why do I need
an extra quarter pound
of butter?

If mother taught logic
in high school,

this would be
some weird country.

[Thinking] If I had my choice...

between a tryout
with the Yankees...

and actually seeing
Nora's bare breasts...

for 21/2 seconds,

I would have some
serious thinking to do.

[Man] Hey, Eugene.

Did Pop get home yet?

No. You look terrible.

What's wrong?

I'm in trouble,

really big trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Not here.
Pop could pass by.

Down at the beach.

I got fired today.

Fired?

You mean
for good?

You don't get
fired temporarily.

It's a permanent
lifetime firing.

It was on account
of Andrew,

the colored guy
who sweeps up.

Well, he lays his broom
against the table.

The broom slips,

knocks a can
of linseed oil over,

and ruins three
brand-new hats,

$9.00 Stetsons.

It wasn't his fault.

He didn't put
the linseed oil there.

Mr. Stroheim gets crazy.

He tells Andrew the hats
come out of his salary... $27.

Andrew starts to cry.

He cried?

42 years old,
he's bawling all over.

I said to Mr. Stroheim that it wasn't fair.
It wasn't Andrew's fault.

So Mr. Stroheim
screams at me...

When I tell you something,
you listen to me!

Want to pay
for the hats, bigmouth?

No, I don't want to pay
for the hats.

Then mind your own business,
bigmouth.

Bring the hats
back to the factory.

Know where it is?

The f-f-factory?

That's my job.

Am I speaking
to you, bigmouth?

Ask Mrs. Ludvig.

She will tell you
where the factory is.

They'll give you
three new hats.

If I see a finger mark on them,
you'll pay for them, too.

Understand?
Hmm?

Y-Y-Yes, sir.

Don't stand around.
You've wasted enough time.

Back to work.

This is not
the lunch hour.

You.

Take the broom.

You'll sweep up
this week.

You are
the cleaning man.

Again this account.

Enid, Enid, Enid.

I told you 50 million
hundred thousand times...

Mr. Stroheim!

I don't think
you're being fair.

You sweep that up,

or today
is your last day here.

You want me
to sweep it up?

I'll sweep it up.

Inside.

You hear me?

Inside!

Tonight
you will go home,

and you will write me
a letter of apology...

which I will put
on the wall...

for everyone to see.

On my desk...

9:00 tomorrow morning.

Otherwise,
don't bother coming in.

Understood?

I understand,
Mr. Stroheim.

That's something
I'll just have to
think about tonight.

I'll finish
sweeping up the floor.

[Waves Breaking]

I don't know why I did it,
but I got so mad.

If you give in
when you're 181/2,

you'll give in for
the rest of your life,
don't you think?

I suppose so.

Are you going
to write the letter?

No.

Positively?

Positively.

Except I'll have
to discuss it with Pop.

I know we
need the money,

but he told me once,

you have to do
what you think is right...

and stand up
for your principles.

Come on.
He'll be home soon.

Stanley's home.

[Whispers] Shh! I have
a cake in the oven.

[Whispering]
I never understand
why we have to whisper.

Is the cake
afraid of people?

Go wash your face.

Give me the bread.

Hi, Mom!

[Whispering]
Shh! The cake
is sleeping.

Eugene! He purposely
does this to aggravate me!

Shh!

I don't get
a kiss hello?

That's what
I wait for
all day.

Oh, a hug, too.

When do I ever get a hug?
You must have done
something wrong.

You're just
a cute lady, Mom.

I can't help myself.

Think I'll wash up.

Don't forget to ask your boss
to get paid tomorrow.

Saturday's a holiday.

I won't.

Eugene! I hear the train.

Go meet your father.

Laurie! It's time
for your medicine!

Oh!

I'm so tired suddenly.

Mmm!

Oh!

Oh!

If you drink
my medicine,
I'll eat your liver.

What liver?

We're having liver
and cabbage for dinner.

Oh, my God!

Liver and cabbage...

AJewish
medieval torture.

My friend Marty Gregorio,

an "A" student in science,

told me that cooked cabbage
can be smelled...

farther than sound
traveling for seven minutes.

[Gasping]

Didn't I tell you
to get out of
that hot kitchen?

I'm all right.
Come here.

[Gasping] Let me sit.
You sit down.

I can't breathe
in there,

and I don't
have asthma.

I'm sick
about your pitcher.

Your good crystal,
Kate.

Stop it.

I'll replace it.

Please don't
worry about it.

I can always
get pitchers.

Sisters, I can't
always find.

I'll clean it up.

You sit
right there!

Eugene will
clean it up
when he gets back.

Let me help you, Pop.

Be careful.
You'll hurt yourself.

No. No trouble.

How you doing, Pop?

Good.

I don't know
how you do it, Pop,

carrying these boxes
around every day.

King Kong
couldn't lift these.

You do what
you have to do.

[Honking]

Why you walking funny?

Oh, it's my sneakers.
The soles wore off.

I have to clench
my toes when I walk.

Can't you wear
Stanley's old pair?

Stanley's wearing
Stanley's old pair.

I walk on my heels...

because there's no skin
left on my toes.

Feeling better, Mom?

Much better, dear.

Feeling better, Mom?

Much better, dear.

[Kate]Jack,
what's the matter?

What's wrong?
Eugene said you were
holding your chest.

I wasn't
holding my chest.

Carrying those boxes
back and forth every day.

You're getting older, Jack.
Don't you work hard enough?

You want the boxes?
They're yours.

I don't need them
anymore.

What do you mean?

Del Mar Party Favors
went out of business.

They closed him out.
The man's bankrupt.

Never even warned me
it was coming.

You told me he lived
up on Riverside Drive.

A $300-a-month
apartment, he had.

Who do you think
goes bankrupt?

You live in
a cold-water flat,

bankruptcy is
the one thing
God spares you.

What are you doing?

Astronomy.

I have to bring in
a report tomorrow.

[Stanley] Let me know
when she gets
to the Milky Way.

[Eugene] Damn.

That dirty little pig.

He's watching Nora
getting undressed.

I wonder ifhe'd
let me come over.

I can't get by without
that extra $25 a week.

Stop it, Jack. You'll
make yourself sick.

He didn't even
pay me for the week.

The bastard.

Five salesmen
are laid off,

he's going to
a Broadway show tonight.

I stuffed every hat and noisemaker
I could carry into those boxes...
walked out of there.

At his funeral,
I'll put on a pointy hat
and blow a horn.

Something will come up.

Go to Temple and pray
all day Saturday.

Men have been praying
there for 40 years.

Know how many prayers
before my turn comes up?

Your turn
will come up.

God has time
for everybody.

Stanley!

Eugene!

Time to eat!

If you see a chance
to help me with Pop,

will you do it?

I was waiting
to get in the game.

Just give me
the ball, coach.

Don't say anything
about the Broadway show
to UncleJack.

Let me introduce
the subject.

I'm not allowed to talk
while I'm eating anyway.

Please don't
think about this
during dinner.

You'll give yourself
heartburn.

[Blanche]Jack, Kate!
Everything's hot!

We're coming!

Do you think
she'll ever get married?

Blanche?

She's not unattractive.

I see men look at her
on the beach.

What does she want
to waste her life in this house for?

Blanche
isn't the type
to get married.

She was married once.
Those are the type.

It was different.

She isn't interested
in other men.
[Car Horn Honking]

What about
that Murphy fellow
across the street?

He's plenty interested.

That drunk?

He can't find his way
into the house at night.

He slept in the doorway
once in the rain.

Shh. He's got a good-paying job.
Lives with his mother.

So he takes a drink
on a Saturday night?

Maybe what he needs
is a good woman.

Not my sister.

[Blanche]Jack! Kate!

Let him meet
someone lying
in the next doorway.

Chapter seven:
"The Infamous Dinner."

[Narrating] It started out
like a murder mystery.

No one said a word,

but everyone
looked suspicious.

Everyone had
one eye on their plate...

and the other eye
on Pop.

Pickles!

Except me.

I sat opposite Nora.

Relish.

I kept dropping
my napkin a lot,

so I could bend down...

and look at those virginy,
creamy white legs.

Ketchup.

She was really
deep in thought...

because she left herself
unguarded a few times,

and I got to see
halfway up her thighs...

that led to the golden palace
of the Himalayas.

Eugene.

Keep your napkin
on your lap.

Stanley knew
what I was doing...

because he's the one
who taught it to me.

You could hear the clock
ticking in the kitchen.

The tension in the air
was so thick...

you could cut it
with a knife...

which is more than
I could say for the liver.

I'll help
with the dessert.

Finish your liver.

I finished. Do you
see any liver?

You buried it
under your potatoes.

Look how Laurie
ate hers.

One more bite,

and I would have
thrown up on the table,

a sight Nora would have
remembered forever.

A diversion was my only
escape from humiliation.

So how are things down
at Stroheim's, Stanley?

Yech.

I felt bad about that.

But for the moment,

attention had shifted
away from my liver.

How long you been
working there now?

Where?

At Stroheim's.

At Stroheim's?

Ayear and a half.

And he likes you?

Who?

Stroheim.

Yeah. Usually
he likes me.

Come in on time?

Always.

You do your work?

Get along
with people?

Why shouldn't
he like you?

- Tomorrow ask him for a raise.
- [Stanley] A raise?

I wanted to cut my wrists,

but the liver
had worn down the knives.

Your father wouldn't
ask you if it wasn't
the right thing.

Now is
the time to ask.

[Choking]

I think I have
a bone in my throat.

There are no
bones in liver!

[Eugene Gagging]

So, what's new
at dancing school,
Nora?

Nothing's new.

Mind your
own business.

Just trying
to introduce
the subject.

What happened
at dancing school?

Nora received a very nice
compliment from Mr. Beckman.

He, uh... said
that she had, uh...

professional talent.

Mr. Beckman
is your teacher?

No. Mr. Beckman is
one of the most widely known...

and respected
producers on Broadway.

[Jack] Broadway?
Imagine that.

Isn't that
the same Mr. Beckman...

who's producing the great
Broadway extravaganza,

Abracadabra?

I hear if a girl
gets a part...

for the chorus
of a show like that,

not only is her career
practically guaranteed,

but the experience she gains is equal
to a four-year college education.

Eugene,
that's enough.

[Kate] Boys, let your father
finish his dinner.

It's all right.

This is the time...

to discuss things.

This is
the family hour.

What a great idea
for a radio show.

The Family Hour.

Every Wednesday
you hear a different family...

discussing their problems,

and you get to hear
different recipes.

WEAF presents
Dinner at Brighton Beach,

starring
theJacobJerome family...

and featuring
tonight's specialty,

liver and cabbage.

Brought to you by Ex-Lax,
the mild laxative.

Eugene,
sit down!

Nothing more
to discuss, anybody?

Otherwise,
I'll turn on the news.

Finish your liver,
I said.

I can't swallow it.

Eat half.

Which half?
They're both terrible.

Just one bite.

If I take one bite,
you'll make me take two bites.

I'll take it to my room.
I'll eat it tonight.

If nobody likes liver,
why do you make it?

Because we can't afford
roast beef for seven people.

[Jack] These aren't times
to waste food, Eugene.

If you didn't want it,
you shouldn't have taken it.

I didn't take it.
They gave it to me.

It comes attached
to the plate.

Could we talk
a minute, Pop?

It's something
really important.

More important than
what's going on
in Europe?

Who's been
playing around
with this radio?

Eugene,

he's talking about
Poland, damn it.

I don't want anyone
touching this radio,
understand?

Guess who's going
to get blamed...

for the war in Europe.

Why should anything be wrong
with this radio?

Which of you has been
fooling around with it?

I have to know tonight, Mother.

I have to tell
Mr. Beckman...

if I can
do the show.

It's not the time.

It's never the time.

You won't
make a decision.

I can't talk
to anyone else.

I'll make
my own decisions...

if no one else
is interested.

Nora!

[Static]

Damn it!

You really think there
will be a war, Pop?

I mean, America, too?

We're already in it.

Not us, maybe,
but our relations
in Europe.

Doesn't Mom have aunts
and nephews there?

Yes. My cousin
Sholem's in Poland.

With six children,
right?

With six children,
right.

God knows what will
happen to them.

Jack, talk to Nora.

You're the only one
she'll listen to.

What if they all
got to America, Pop?

Where would they live?

Would we take them in?

What God gives us to deal with,
we deal with.

Where would we put them
if they got off the boat?

How would we feed them?
The boat didn't get here yet.

I can't deal
with boats that
haven't landed yet.

[Stanley]
I'll talk to you later, okay, Pop?
Before bed.

Where are you going?

To the drugstore.

I'm getting
my asthma medicine.

I'll get it.
You shouldn't
be out at night.

Kate, you have got
to stop thinking...

everybody is
your responsibility.

Stan, who has
the best boobs
in the neighborhood?

Is sex the only thing
you ever think about?

I think Mrs. Laski has.

Boy, would I love
to wrap my hands
around them.

She's jumbo-size.

Your hands
aren't big enough.

If I wore two
baseball gloves,
they would be.

Can I give you a lift home,
Mrs. Morton?

Oh, hello, Mr. Murphy.

It's only two blocks.

It's not the distance.

It's the company.

All right. Thank you.

Ooh. Is this your car?

Mine? No.
Cars are luxuries.

I have no aspirations
for luxuries.

I do, however,
have a weakness...

for friends who have
aspirations for luxuries.

Well...

You've an Irish smile,
you know.

[Laughs] l...

Uh...

Oh, I don't at all.

Is that what they call
blarney, Mr. Murphy?

Yes, it is, definitely.

But it's a handy way
of getting attention...

from someone you want
to take notice of you.

I've taken notice
of you, Mrs. Morton,

for many months now.

Yes, Mr. Murphy,
I've taken notice.

I had a dream last night.

It was about a girl.

I can't tell you
her name,

but she was gorgeous.

We were really
kissing hard...

and rubbing up
against each other.

And I felt this
tremendous build-up coming.

And suddenly...

there was
this explosion...

like a dam broke.

And suddenly,
everything rushed...

and flowed out to sea.

It was
the greatest feeling...

I ever had in my life.

And when I woke up,
I was...

All wet?

It was a wet dream.

I have them
all the time.

You do?

You mean, there's
nothing wrong with you...

if it happens?

You never had one?

Yeah, but I slept
through it.

Didn't you ever try
to do it by yourself?

What do you mean?

Didn't you ever
diddle with yourself?

No!

Never!

Baloney. I've heard you.

You diddle three, four
times a week.

You're crazy!

You've gone five blocks
out of your way.

Eight. I know
a short cut
that can add six.

[Blanche] Oh, my God.

[Murphy] What's wrong?

Uh, it's my sister.

Please stop the car.

I have to get out.

Because
you'd rather not
be seen with me?

No, honestly.

She doesn't
care for me.
I know that.

She's never said that.

Some people think
I'm too carefree,

but I'm an honest man
and I would never show you
any disrespect.

I'm sure of that.

Then will you
have dinner with me
Wednesday at Chardhov's?

It's a very respectable
family establishment.

Yes, I will.

Uh, thank you
for the ride.

Kate, what are you
doing out?

I told Laurie I'd
get her some licorice.

She woke up drenched
in perspiration.

Come on. I'm dying
for something sweet.

There's nothing
wrong with it.

Everybody does it,
especially at our age.

It's natural.

I can't believe I'm
having this conversation.

You can't grow up
without doing it.

Your voice won't change.

Where do you
get this stuff from?

Is it in a medical book
or something?

It's puberty.

It's what?

Puberty.
You never heard
that word before?

Don't you
read books?

Yeah. The Count
of Monte Cristo.

It never
mentioned puberty.

Even Pop did it.

Pop?

Our Pop?

You know, Stanley,
I think you're
full of shit.

Don't use that language.
You're just a kid.

Never let me hear you
say that word again.

It's okay for you
to say puberty,

but I can't say shit?

"Puberty"
is a scientific word.

"Shit" is for guys who
hang around the beach.

Well, what do you
expect me to say...

when you tell me
that Pop whacks off?

I don't mean he still does,
because he's married now.

But when he was a kid,
14, 15...

The whole world
whacks off.

President Roosevelt, too?

Sometimes I forget
his birthday,

but the day he died
I'll never forget.

You talk
like life is over.

You're still
attractive, if you'd
only stop squinting.

You got to get out
of the house.

I'll get out.

Jack's company's having
their annual affair...

next Wednesday
at the Commodore Hotel.

Jack wants you
to come with us.

He told me to ask you.

Me? Who do I know
in Jack's company?

You'll be with us.

You'll meet people.

Max Green will be
at our table.

He's their
number one salesman.

He's a riot.
You'll love him.

He's a widower.

His wife died
last year.

[Whispers] Tuberculosis.

I appreciate it, Kate,

but I've, um...

I've made plans
for next Wednesday night.

More important
than this?

They have this
once a year.

I'm having
dinner with...

someone.

You're having dinner
with a man?

That's wonderful.

Why didn't you tell me?

With Mr. Murphy.

Who is Mr. Mur...

Oh, my God.

You're having dinner
with that man?

He'll take you
to a bar and grill.

We are going
to Chardhov's,
the Hungarian restaurant.

You've never met him.

How can you
dislike him so?

I don't have to
meet that kind.

I just have to
smell his breath...

when he opens
the window.

Do girls whack off, too?

Five times
as much as boys.

Five times as much.

Is that an actual figure?

Where do you know
all this from?

You pick it up.

You learn it.

It's handed down
from generation
to generation.

That's how our
culture spreads.

Five times
as much as boys.

Some don't even
say hello,

and they're home
all night whacking off.

They're human
like we are.

They have the same
needs and desires.

? Two arms
that held me ?

? Two lips
that thrilled me ?

? Two eyes met mine ??

How do girls do it?

I can't explain it.

I'll buy you
an ice cream.

Please,
I'll be your slave
for a month.

Tell me
how they do it.

Eugene, I have a
major problem in my life.

I haven't got time...

to describe
girls masturbating.

Draw me a picture.

I brought a pencil.

Ooh!
You want crayons?
Maybe you should do it in color.

Hey, I'll race you.

Hey!

What do you think
he's looking for, hmm?

We grew up
with their kind
on Avenue A.

How many times
have Stanley and Eugene
come home black and blue...

from the beatings
from those Irish hooligans?

You're not being fair.

We walked along
the beach Thursday.

He was extremely polite.

He told me where his parents
came from in Ireland.

Their life wasn't easier
than Mama's and Papa's.

Nobody had it
like they did in Russia.

He has a decent job.

He didn't
smell of liquor.

He behaved like
a perfect gentleman.

That was on the beach.
They're different when the sun goes down.

Do what you want.

I'll bet Nora
doesn't do it.

Could I win money
from you.

Think she's
in the bathroom...

seven times a day
taking showers?

I don't believe it.

She the one
you dreamed about?

No. It was somebody
else... a beach girl.

It was Nora. I see
what's going on.

That's why you dropped
your napkin at dinner.

She drives me crazy.

I think I'm in love
with her.

Well, forget it.
She's your cousin.

What's wrong with being
in love with her?

It's against
the laws of nature.

You can't marry
your first cousin.

You get babies
with nine heads.

One dinner
with Frank Murphy
at Chardhov's...

isn't the end
of the world.

I just don't want
to see you hurt.

I never mean you harm.

I can take anything,

except when someone
in the family
is mad at me.

Oh, I could never
be mad at you, Kate.

That I promise you
to my dying day.

Don't expect me
to be too friendly.

I'll put out nuts,
but not beer.

Can I see
Mr. Beckman tomorrow?

Yes or no?

Did you talk to
your UncleJack?

It doesn't matter.
It's your decision
or mine.

Who's going
to make it?

I said if I were
her father,

I'd have her
finish high school.

There will
be other shows.

Be patient.

Don't shut me in.

Don't shut me in
for life.

You promised you'd do
what UncleJack said.

He doesn't
make decisions.

He offers advice.

I want a decision,
Mama, from you.

Please?

You finish high school.

You tell Mr. Beckman
you're too young.

You tell him
your mother said...

no.

That's my decision.

I see.

Thank you, UncleJack,
for your advice.

I'll let you know
in the morning...

what my decision is.

I would love
to see Nora naked
just once, wouldn't you?

I have.
Plenty of times.

[Honking]

You've seen Nora naked?

Sure.

I fixed the lock
on the bathroom door,

then opened it,
pretending I didn't know
anyone was there.

What a disgusting pig!

Will you show me
how to work it?

Hello, boys!

Oh, hello,
Mr. Murphy.

Lovely night, hmm?
Lovely night, indeed.

Yes, indeedy.

Yes, indeedy.

[Stanley] I think that guy
thinks he's in
a Shakespeare play.

[Eugene] He had a couple
in there, I bet.

You think he
and Aunt Blanche do it?

Nah. She's a widow.

Widows don't
do those things.

Don't hate me for what
I'm going to say.

What is it?

I think Aunt Blanche
has a great ass.

They'll lock you up
in a sex asylum.

If I was
your sister,

I wouldn't sleep
on the same block with you.

What if they
showered together?

If I could see that,

I would thank God
and become a rabbi.

Come on.

When does it get
easier, Kate?

When you get
seven good hours
sleep a night.

That's the easiest
it ever gets.

He's home.

You going
to talk to him now?

It's now or never.

Good luck.

Hi, Pop.

You think we could
have that talk now?

You fixed the radio?

Works better than new.

It's almost 10:00.

I can get
the late news.

I'm going to finish my homework.
Good night.

[Kate] Put the cookie
on the table.

What cookie?

The oatmeal cookie
in your pocket.

Put it on the table.

You can smell
an oatmeal cookie
from 10 feet away?

I heard the jar moving
in the kitchen.

Suddenly, everybody
is doing what they want.

Your father's upset,
Aunt Blanche is upset,

Nora is upset.

Put the cookie
on the table!

Could we
sit outside?

Everyone's
always coming
through here.

But the news
is coming on.

Talk wherever you want.

I'm going to bed.

Five minutes. That's all.

Eugene!

What?

Give me that cookie.

Why don't you
sit down, Pop?

Some build-up this is.

[Sighs]

Pop, I have
a problem.

If you didn't,
you wouldn't live
in this house.

Close the door!

Close the door!

I'm sorry!

Something must be
wrong with the lock.

It must be tough
being a father.

Everybody comes to you
with their problems.

You have to have
all the answers.

Stop trying to win me over.
Just tell me the problem.

I got fired today.

What?

Don't get excited.

I'll explain
what happened.

What did you do? You came in late?
You were fresh to somebody?

Were you fresh?
I could still get my job back.

Just help me
make a decision.

Take the job back.
I don't care what it is.

This isn't the time...

for anybody
in this family
to be out of work.

She saw me
on the crapper.

Nora saw me
on the crapper.

I might as well
be dead!

Be careful when you go
into the bathroom.

The lock's broken.

Who cares?

Nobody wants
to see me showering.

What do you mean?

I mean, some people
in this house...

are very handy
with screwdrivers.

[Stanley] When I was 12 years old,
you talked to me about principles.
Remember?

[Jack] Principles are one thing,
losing yourjob is another.

Can't I explain
what happened?

Tell me any story,
as long as it has a happy ending.

It was all on account
of Andrew...

the colored guy
who sweeps up.

[Eugene Narrating]
So Stanley told the whole story.

He delivered it like
the Gettysburg Address.

Pop must have been bleary-eyed,
because not only did he have to deal...

with Stanley's principles,

Nora's career, the loss of
his noisemaker business,

how to get Aunt Blanche
married off,

and Laurie's
fluttering heart,

but at any minute,
37 relatives from Poland...

could show up looking
for a place to live.

Either I bring in
a letter of apology
in the morning,

or I don't bother
coming in.

Oh, Stanley.
Stanley. Stanley.

I'm sorry, Pop.

You shouldn't have
swept the dirt on his shoe,
I know.

Especially in front
of other people.

He's your boss.

He pays your salary.
His money helps put food...

on our dining table.

I know, Pop.

I see what
you're getting at.

On the other hand,
you did a courageous thing.
You defended a fellow worker.

Nobody else stood up
for him, did they?

I was the only one.
That's something
to be proud of.

It's what
you believed in.

That's standing up
for your principles.

That's why I didn't want
to write the letter.
I knew you'd understand.

But can this family
afford principles
right now?

It would make it hard,
I know.

On everyone.
Eugene would have
to quit school.

He wants to go to college
to be a writer.

I wish I could've sent you.

I've always been
sick about that.

I like working, Pop.

I made up my mind.

I'm writing the letter.

How will your principles
feel in the morning?

My principles
feel better already.

You told me you were
proud of what I did.

That's all
I really care about.

Think about it, Stanley.

You do what
you think is best.

So, what's the decision?

I'm writing
the letter.

I knew
he'd make you do it.

I'm doing it on my own.

Will you help me
write it?

Thing is, people used
to get paid for that.

Professional
letter writers.

I'm not
paying you money.

I don't want money.

Then what?

Tell me what Nora
looked like naked.

Jesus. How horny
can you get?

I don't know.

What's
the highest score?

[Sobs Lightly]

[Eugene Narrating] The next day
we went to the cemetery...

because it was
three years ago today...

that Uncle Dave
[Whispers] died.

I asked my mother
why everyone put a stone
on the grave...

and she explained to me
because it was custom.

I wanted to say it's a lucky thing
the custom wasn't to put
orange peels on the grave,

but I didn't think
she'd appreciate it.

Nora.

Come on.

[Eugene] I liked Uncle Dave,

but I just didn't
feel like crying.

I hope
he's not watching.

Nobody but Mom knew...

that Pop was working
nights as a cab driver...

to make up
what he lost...

from the noisemaker
business.

Hejust plain wore out,

and he had
a minor heart attack.

The doctors said
it was just a warning,

but he had to stop
working for a while.

[Door Unlocks]

What happened?
What's the matter?

Everything's okay.

He just wasn't
feeling well.

We just
drove him home.

Good night.

[Eugene Narrating]
For the first time in my life,

I was really scared,

scared of maybe one day
going out to the cemetery...

and putting a stone
on the grave of
my father.

[Eugene]
Hey! I'm open!

Pass it over here.

[Eugene]
Louie, I'm free! I'm free!

Yeah!
[Cheering]

[Kate] Eugene.

Come here.

What did I tell you
about making noise
in front of the house?

Go get your father's papers.

Now?
No. Next year.

And skate on the sidewalk.
If you get hit by a truck,
don't come running to me.

If I told her I just
lost both my hands
in an accident,

she'd say, "Go upstairs
and wash your face with your feet."

Come here, you!

What are you doing?
I paid for the papers.

Your father's sick.
What are you trying to do,
kill 'em?

What are you talking about?
You think your father's
going to get better...

if he finds out his son's
gambling in a pool hall?

Stanley?
Is he there now?

Get him
out of there,

and you stay out
of those places!

This used to be
a nice neighborhood.

That's game.

?? [Whistling]

You want to pay up
or you want to go again?

Sure. Why not?

Rack 'em up, Gootch.

[Rolling, Clattering]

Hi, Stan.

What are you
doing here?

Go on home.
I'll see you later.

Are you winning?

I'm creaming
these guys.

Two more games,
I can make up
Pop's weekly salary.

Let me watch.
I'll bring you
good luck.

I don't need luck
against these guys.

You shouldn't be in a place like this.
Get out of here.

One game. I'm not gonna
turn into a bum in one game.

Get out, I said!

I'm sorry.

You should do
what I tell you.

It's your break.

You should see
your mother's
new dress.

She looks gorgeous.

I'm waiting for
her grand entrance.

If Mama married
Mr. Murphy,

would we have to live
in that dark house
across the street...

with that
creepy old woman?

We're not up
to that yet.

Let's get
through Chardhov's
restaurant first.

Have a cashew.
Just one.

It's for
the company.

How'd you do?

I told you
to go home.

How much
did you win?

Don't keep me
in suspense.

It was a setup.
They clobbered me.

How much did you lose?

They were hustlers.

How much did you lose?

Everything.
My whole salary... $17.

Why did you bet
your whole salary?

I thought
I could beat them.

Jesus, I think
I'm going to throw up.

[Coughs]

Well! You must've
been hungry.

That's a good sign.

I was bored. I had
nothing else to do.

Blanche will
come into see you
before she goes.

Tell her
she looks beautiful.

You know she's got
no confidence.

When did I last tell you
you were beautiful?

Why do you
bring that up now?

I realize sometimes
I forget to tell
people how I feel.

Get better.

Take me to the affair
next year.

Then I'll be beautiful.

If he wasn't so sick,
I'd tell him the truth.

If he dies,
I'll hang myself.

Just say
you lost the money.

I already used
that one.
When?

November, when I lost $5.00.
He said, "Check your pockets
every morning."

Did you gamble
the $5.00, too?

No, I gave it to a girl,
a pro.

A pro what?

A prostitute?

You went to one of those places?
Holy shit!

Don't say
that word again.

It costs $5.00?

$2.50. This guy
still owes me.

What was she like?
Was she pretty?
How old was she?

Don't start in
with me.

Did she get
completely naked?

Every time I get in trouble,
I have to tell you what a naked girl
looks like?

Do me a favor.
Go in the bathroom,
whack off,

and grow up
by yourself.

I'm going out.

I'll be home late.
Good night.

Going where?

I have a date
with Larry Clurman.

Don't you want to see
how your mother looks?

I'm sure she looks beautiful.
She doesn't need me to tell her.

I think your mother
would be very hurt...

if you didn't wait
to say good-bye.

I know exactly how
my mother feels, UncleJack.

I'm not sure
she knows how I feel.

Nora!

Nora!

Do you want to
come help me?

Nora!

Will you cut it out?
I'm trying to think.

Don't get sore.

It's not my fault
what happened.

I never had
an older brother...

to help me
with problems.

You're lucky
to be the younger one.

You don't have
my responsibilities.

You're still in school
looking up girls' dresses.

I work plenty hard
in school.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, let me see
your report card.

Yesterday was
the first of the month.
I know you got it.

I don't have
to show you.

You're not
my father.

As long as Pop
is sick, I am.

I'm the only one
in the family working.

Really? Well,
where's your salary
this week, Pop?

I hate you sometimes.
I always help you,

and you never help me
without wanting
something for it.

I hate
your disgusting guts!

Not as much
as I hate yours.

You snore at night,

you pick
your toenails,

you smell up
the bathroom.

Give me
your report card.

I'll beat your face.

You want it?

Yeah.

Here's my lousy
report card!

You fuck!

Four A's and a "B"?

Jack? Jack?

What are you doing
down here?

I want
to meet Murphy.

A stranger comes in,
he likes meeting
another man.

It makes him feel
comfortable.

I got so scared
when I didn't see you
in your room.

You don't look it.
You look beautiful.

Here. Wear these.

Don't say no to me.

Just let me
put them on.

Kate, your pearls.
Your good pearls.

What would they do,

sit in a drawer
all year?

Pearls are like people.

They like to go out
and be seen occasionally.

Oh, you were going
to wear these to
tonight's affair.

I got so wrapped up
in myself,

I forgot you were
missing the affair.

I'm afraid
I'll lose them.

Let's see
how they look, Mom.

Laurie, go up
and get Nora.

I want to show
them to Nora.

[Laurie] She's not here.

She left.

What do you mean,
she left?

Without saying
good-bye?

She had
to meet somebody,

so you'll see her
when she comes home.

She could've come to my room.
She knew I wanted
to see her.

You're going out
to have a good time.

You'll deal
with this later.

She's making me
pay for it, isn't she?

She knows how she can
get to me so easily.

That's what I get for
trying to make decisions.

[Sobbing]

[Sniffling]

[Sobbing]

I feel like ice cream
for dessert.

Laurie, do you feel
like ice cream?

Butter pecan?

Butter pecan for you,
maple walnut for me.

Go up and tell Eugene...

I want him
to go to the store.

[Eugene] She's doing it.

She's taking
everything off.

Today's the day.

Please, God,
don't let it get foggy.

[Knock On Door]

[Laurie] Eugene, your father
wants us...

to go to the store.

Damn.

Tell him I'm sick.

Tell him
I have diarrhea.

You don't want
any ice cream?

Ice cream?
Wait a minute.

You want
some ice cream, Stan?

No.

I have no will power.

How will I be a writer
unless I suffer?

Actually,
I'd give up writing...

if I could see
a naked girl...

while eating ice cream.

[Laurie] He wants maple walnut
and butter pecan.

Eugene. Go to Hansen's.

Laurie will tell you
what to get.

I need money.

I just paid
the doctor $15.

Stanley got paid today.

Ask him for his salary.

Here's a dollar.

Hurry back so Laurie
can meet Mr. Murphy.

I'll race you.
I'll hop on one leg.

I'm not allowed
to run.

I'll hop on one leg
and hold my breath.

[Tapping]

Is she calling us?

[Eugene] I think
she's calling you.

What does she want?

She wants you to taste
her spider soup.

Stop that!

You think I should go?

Sure. She's okay.

I'll get
the ice cream.

Don't stay
in there too long,

or else
you'll become Irish.

[Sniffling]

Maybe she's
not coming back.

Maybe she's...
she's run off to Boston...

and then, uh,
Washington...

or God knows where.

Is that what
you'll talk about
on your date?

He'll start drinking
in five minutes.

Oh, you think so?

What will I do
if he gets drunk?

You come right home.

Do you have money
for carfare?

No, I didn't
take anything.

Wait. Wait here.

I'll get $5.00
from Stanley.

Now I have
something else
to worry about.

Stanley,
are you in there?

Open the window.

You never get air
in this room.

I need $5.00
for Aunt Blanche.

Stanley. Did you
get paid today?

Yeah, I got paid.

Well, take out
the money for the week.

Give me the envelope.

I don't have it.

You don't have
the envelope?

I don't have
the money.

You don't have
the money?

I don't have the money.
It's gone.

It's gone.
Gone where?

It's just gone.

I don't have it.

I can't get it back.

There's nothing
I can do about it.

Just don't ask me
any more questions?

Don't ask you
any more questions?

What happened
to $17, Stanley?

If I tell you,
you'll tell Pop.

Why shouldn't I tell
your fa...

Stanley,
I want to know...

what happened
to that money.

I gambled it.

I lost it playing pool.

All right?

You happy?

You satisfied now?

I won't think
about this now.

I'll have
your Aunt Blanche...

get out
of the house first.

I have
your father's health
to worry about.

You'll sit here and
think up a story.

You were robbed.

Tell your father
somebody stole
the money.

Because if you
tell him the truth,

you'll kill him.

Oh. I don't...

Why am I so nervous?

I guarantee you
he's twice as nervous.

[Doorbell Rings]

Ooh. [Laughs]
He's at the door.

Stay here. Stay here.

I'll... Don't...

Don't get up.

Oh, I thought
I heard someone.

Kate!

What is it?

What's wrong?

Oh, it's nothing.

I'm just
all nerves today.

You're worried
aboutJack.

He shouldn't
have come
down those stairs.

He knows
he's not supposed
to get out of bed.

I shouldn't have
asked Mr. Murphy
to come over.

That's why
Jack came down.

It's not
just Mr. Murphy.

It's Stanley,
Eugene, everybody.

Everybody has
a problem here.

Did Nora say something
to hurt you, Kate?

Get your purse.
He'll be here any minute.

I know
she's been difficult...

these last few days.

Why is it
always Nora?

It's always
your problems.

You're not
the only one who
has troubles.

We all
have troubles.

Well... forgive me.
I'm sorry, Kate.

I... I understand.

Yes? What?

I have just been
in the creepiest place...

in the whole world.

Not now, Laurie.

Aunt Kate and I
are talking.

I was in
Mrs. Murphy's house.

She asked if you
could come over now.

She said
it was important.

What is it?

She didn't tell me.
I just wanted
to get out of there.

Then she gave me
a green cookie. Yech.

Maybe he has
to work late.

I'll be right back.

We'll finish
talking.

I would have
come over myself,

but I have trouble
crossing streets
these days.

Too many
motorcars now.

Of course.

I'm sorry to say...

I have regrets
from my son Frank.

He'll not be able
to keep his dinner
engagement with you.

Frank's
in the hospital.

Dear God,
is he all right?

His injuries,
thank the Lord,
are not serious...

but the consequences
are.

He was driving
a friend's motorcar...

while intoxicated.

He'll have to face
police charges.

I'm sure of that.

As soon as Frank
can get out...

ofhis difficulties
here,

we've decided to move
upstate New York...

where there's a clinic
that can help him...

and where
we have relatives...

with whom we can stay.

Uh, Mrs. Murphy...

I'm so, uh,
terribly sorry.

Please tell Frank
that I wish him
only the best.

It could've been you
in that car with him.

I warned you the first day
about those people.

Stop calling them
"those people."

She's a mother
like you and me.

And what is he?

He's someone
in trouble.

He's someone
who needs help.

For God's sake,
you don't even
know the man.

I know him. I know
what they're all like.

Who are you to talk?

Are we any better?

Are we something
so special?

We're all poor
around here.

At least we can
be charitable.

Why? What can I
afford to give away?

Did I get you
all dressed up
for nothing?

Did I get
your hopes up?

I just tried
to help you.

Nobody cares
for their family
more than you do,

but at least
be sympathetic...

to someone else
in trouble.

Who should I care about?
Who's watching over me?

I did enough in
my life for people.

Ooh. You know what
I'm talking about.

No, I don't.

Say what's on your mind.

What people?

You! Celia! Papa!

How many beatings
did I get...

for things
that you did?

How many dresses
did I go without...

so you could look
like somebody?

I was the workhorse,
you, the pretty one.

You have no right
to talk to me
like that.

This is aboutJack.

You're blaming me
for what happened
toJack.

Why do you think
he's sick today?

Why did a policeman have to
carry him home at 3 A. M?

So Nora could have dancing lessons?
So Laurie could see a doctor?

You worry about your friend
across the street,

not those
being dragged home...

to keep a roof
over your head.

[Blanche] Why didn't
you tell me...

how you felt
about this?

[Kate] I was too busy
taking care of everybody.
[Door Opens, Closes]

[Blanche] My God...

[Laurie] Shh. Your mother
and my mother are fighting.

About what?

Your mother was
the workhorse,

mine was
the pretty one.

What?

[Blanche] I'd pack
Nora and Laurie...

out of the house
tonight if I could,

but I have no place
to take them.

If they
could stay here
another few weeks,

I would
appreciate it.

Until I find a place.

Then I'll send
for them.

Blanche,
don't talk like that.

The ice cream.
Not now!

I know a woman
in Manhattan Beach...

who I can stay with.

Then I'll
find a job.

I'll do anything
anybody asks me,

but I will never be
a burden to anyone...

as long as I live.

Blanche, stop this!

[Sighs]

What the hell
is going on here,
for God's sakes?

Two sisters
having a fight...

they should've had
25 years ago.

Tell her, Kate,
what it is...

to be an older sister.

Call her names, Blanche.

Tell her
to go to hell...

for the first time
in your life.

When you both get it
out of your system,

hug each other
and go have dinner.

My lousy ice cream
is melting, for God sakes.

No matter what
Kate says to me,

I will never
stop loving her,

but I have to get out.

If I don't do it now,

I'll lose what little
self-respect I have left.

And when I grow old,

I wish I have
as much self-respect...

as Mrs. Matthew Murphy.

Something happened
for you to behave
like this.

It wasn't Blanche.

It was
something else.

What?

Tell the kids we're eating
in the kitchen tonight.

[Whispers]
Hey, Stan.

[Whispering]
Hey, Stan, did you...

Stan!

Stanley, wait!

Why are you doing this?

You always told me
never to run away.

I'm leaving.
Only kids run away.

Does Pop know
about my salary?

You told Mom that. Why?

I had
12 terrific lies.

I have $1.12 for you.

It's my life's savings.

I'll make it okay.

Please, Stan.

Take the money.

I'll pay you back.

If there's a war,
I'll become a sergeant.

They make good dough.

If it lasts long enough,
I could join.

Don't go in the army
unless they come get you.

Promise me
you'll go to college.

Don't leave, Stan.

They'll get over it.

They won't stay mad
at you forever.

I got over
being mad at you.

I'm nothing but trouble.

Don't turn out
to be like me.

I don't see what's
so bad about you.

Take care
of yourself, Euge.

Hey, Euge.

If you ever write
a story about me,
call me Hank.

I always liked
the name Hank.

[Eugene Narrating] I guess there
comes a time in everyone's life...

when you say,

"This very moment is
the end of my childhood. "

When Stanley
got on that train,

I knew that moment
had come to me,

and I was scared.

I was lonely...

and I hated
my mother and father...

for making him so unhappy.

I even hated Stanley
a little...

because he left me there
to grow up by myself.

I tried to hold out
as long as I could,

but I knew
they'd find out sometime.

So I just said it.

I said that Stanley
had left tojoin the army.

What army?

The U.S. Army.

How many armies
are there?

Never. Not without
talking to me first.

Ketchup.

I saw him leave
on the train.

He won't
be back tonight.

He's walking around
in New York.

He's upset because
we had a fight.

A fight about what?

A fight about what?

He lost his salary.

He gambled
in a pool hall.

He lost the $17.

He just tried
to make back the money...

Pop lost by not working.

That's why
he joined the army.

He should've
talked to me.

I'm his father!

What, is he afraid
to talk to me?

[Kate] He loves you so much
he didn't want to tell you.

[Eugene Narrating]
From the sound of it,

I figured Stanley should
forget about the army...

andjoin
the Foreign Legion.

[Door Opens]

I wanted to talk to you.

How was your dinner?

I didn't go.
Mr. Murphy was
in an accident.

I'm sorry.

Is he all right?

He has his problems,

like the rest of us.

I was very upset
that you left tonight...

without saying good-bye.

You have never
done that before.

Could we talk about this
in the morning?

I'm leaving, Nora.
I'm moving out
in the morning.

What are you talking about?

Aunt Kate and I
had a fight.

We said some terrible
things to each other.

I'm going to stay
with my friend Louise...

in Manhattan Beach...

until I find work.

Then I'll send
for you and Laurie.

I can't believe it.

You mean it's okay
for you to leave us,

but not for me
to leave you?

I wasn't concerned
about your leaving.

It's your future
I was worrying about.

So I have to give up
the one chance...

I may never get again.

I have to pay
for what you couldn't do...

with your own life?

What right do you have
to judge me like that?

Judge you?

I can't even talk to you.

I don't exist to you.

I've tried
to get close to you,

but there was never room.

Whatever you had to give
was Daddy's.

When he died, whatever
was left you gave to...

Finish what you
were going to say.

I've been jealous
my whole life of Laurie.

She was lucky enough
to be born sick!

I prayed I'd get
some terrible disease...

or get hit by a car...

so I'd have a leg
all twisted and crippled.

Then once, just once,

I could crawl
into bed with you...

on a cold, rainy night...

and talk to you,
hold you,

until I fell asleep
in your arms.

Just once.

My God, Nora.

Is that what you
think of me?

Is it any worse than
what you think of me?

I am not going
to let you hurt me!

I'm not going to be
a doormat...

for all the frustrations
and unhappiness...

that you or Aunt Kate
or anyone else...

wants to lay at my feet.

I did not
create this universe.

I do not decide
who lives or dies,

or who's rich or poor,

or who feels loved
and who feels deprived.

If you feel cheated
that Laurie gets more,

I feel cheated that
my husband died at 36!

I'm sorry that you
feel unloved, Nora,

and I'll do everything
I can to change it,

but I will not
go back to being...

that frightened,
helpless woman...

that I created.

I already buried
someone I love.

Now it's time to bury
someone I hate.

You belong
to Uncle Sam now.

You'll hear from us
in three weeks.

Don't look
so worried, son.

We'll make you
into a man.

I'll carry my load.

Okay, soldier. Sign here.

Something wrong?

What?

Well, I'm going.

I didn't want to leave
without saying good-bye.

Blanche.

Don't go.

I feel bad enough
for what I said.

Don't make me feel
any worse.

As God is in heaven,

there will never be
an angry word...

between you and me again,
Kate,

but I'm afraid of
being comfortable here.

If I don't go now,
when will I?

The door is open.
Go whenever you want.

Get a job first.

Get your apartment
first.

I'll find out about
the Murphy place.

Couldn't be
very expensive.

She never cleaned it.

How independent
can I become...

if I live right across
the street from you?

Far enough away for you
to close your own door.

Close enough for me
not to feel so lonely.

[Eugene] Okay. 29 to 7.
Let's go! Come on!

Come on, Tony!
Make him hit it!

Do better in there.

[Boy] I got it! I got it!

Stan!

Hi.

Well, what happened?

Did you join up?

I came pretty close.

I passed the physical,
one-two-three.

I knew you would.

As I was about to sign,

I stopped cold
and walked out.

How come?

Couldn't do it to Pop.

Right now he needs me
more than the army does.

I thought you'd be
at training camp by now,

but I'm real glad
you're home, Stan.

Hi, Ma.

Stanley's home.

Go back to Greenblatt's.

I need sweet cream
and some more sugar.

Get a 2-pound bag.

I want to make
a chocolate cake.

A 2-pound bag
from Greenblatt's?

I'll need
identification.

How are you, Ma?

Are you staying
for dinner?

I'm staying as long
as you'll let me.

Why shouldn't I let you?

This is your home.

Your father's been
very worried.

I think you owe him
an explanation.

[Announcer] Acrid, yellowish smoke
billowed yesterday...

around
the Hindenburg Palace.

Bombing planes,
chased by pursuit ships,

streaked across the sky...

as Adolf Hitler
prepared for a visit...

by Benito Mussolini.

Their fascist-Nazi mission,
they proclaim...

Hi, Pop.
How you feeling?

[Announcer Continues]
... Communism indications were...

that neither Mussolini
nor Hitler wanted to...

I'm sorry about
not coming home last night.

I just didn't know how...

to tell you
about the money.

[Sighs]

Don't you know, Stanley,

there's nothing
you could ever do...

that was so terrible
I couldn't forgive you?

I know why you gambled.

I know how miserable
you feel.

I lost money gambling.
I know what it's like.

You did?

You're so surprised?

You think your father's
a perfect human being?

You go through life
thinking I was perfect,

you'll hate yourself for
every mistake you make.

Don't be
so hard on yourself.

You're a good son,
Stanley.

I gambled away $17,

and you're telling me
how terrific I am.

Hey, wait a minute.

Don't get
the wrong idea.

If you were home
last night,

I would've thrown
you and your clothes
out the window.

Today I'm calmer.

Today I heard
the radio.

Today I'm afraid
for all of us.

I understand.

All right.

After lunch, apologize
to your mother,

and apologize
to Aunt Blanche...

because she
was worried, too.

[Stanley] I will.

Thank your brother, too.

He came into my bedroom
and explained how you felt.

The way he pleaded your case,

I thought I had
Clarence Darrow in the room.

[Kate] Are you
coming to eat?

Lunch is getting cold.

I want to wash up.
Can I talk to you
after lunch, Mom?

Where am I going,
to a nightclub?

It's all right!

Everything
is all right!

Who said it wasn't?

Didn't I say
he'd be home?

4 minutes, 22 seconds.

An Olympic record for
going to Greenblatt's.

Where's Stanley?

Upstairs.

Here's some mail
for you, Pop.

My God! He ate
11/2 pounds
of sugar!

Hear you're back
in the family.

Everything's great.

Pop told me
you stuck up for me.

Yeah. I was brilliant.

To show
my appreciation...

I brought you
a present.

What kind of present?

Promise you'll keep it
someplace safe.

I will. I will!

What's my present?

Here. Use it
in good health.

What is it?

Close your eyes!

Now look.

Oh, my God!

She's naked.

You can see everything.

Don't get caught
with a thing like that.

Who is she?

She's French.

That's how all
the women are in Paris.

You mean some girl
actually posed for this?

She just laid there and
let some guy take a picture?

It belongs to the guy
who owes me $2.50.

It's mine
until he pays me.

Don't take the money.
Let him owe you.

Put it in a safe spot.

Come on. It's lunch.

In a minute.

I'll be down
in a minute.

[Kate] I got more
for who wants it.

Ta-da!

Oh! I'm so glad to
see you home, Stanley!

I was so worried
about you.

I'm glad to see you here,
too, Aunt Blanche.

Oh!

Hi, Stan!

Hey, squirt!
Got your nose!

You're so funny.

Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

What is it?

What's wrong, Jack?

It's a letter from London.

My cousin Sholem got out.

They got out of Poland.

They're free, Kate.

Oh, thank God!

His wife, his mother,
all six children.

They're sailing for
New York tomorrow.

They'll be here
in a week.

Do they
speak English?

I don't think so.
A few words, maybe.

Somebody wrote
this for him.

They had to sell
everything.

They took what
they could carry.

Where will
they stay?

Well, I'll have to
discuss it with the family.

Some with Uncle Sol.

Uncle Eddie.
With us.

We'll put beds
in the dining room.

I like eating
in the kitchen.

The kids could
stay with Laurie.

Nora can sleep
with me, right?

Of course!

Don't worry
about money, Pa.

I'll hit Mr. Stroheim
for that raise.

They got out!
That's all that's important.

They got out!

Where's that boy again?

Eugene! We're all
waiting for you!

Be right there!

I'm doing something!

[Eugene Thinking]
October the 2nd, 1937,

an historic moment...

in the life
of Eugene Morris Jerome.

I havejust seen...

the golden palace
of the Himalayas!

Puberty is over!

Onwards and upwards!