Brighton (2019) - full transcript

Oh, come on.

Do you know
what bloody time it is?

What do you think you're doing?

Playing the piano.

Wake up.

Let's go, right, let's
get some music going.

Leave it out, mate.

We're rolling.

Oh, what a tune, what a tune.

I'm telling you.

Yeah, let's have
a bit of tunage.



Come on.

Woo.

Let's go, round two, come on.

My heart starts pumping,
can't take no more

What a tune.

Jukebox building
and rocking stuff

Ooh yeah.

Oh God, now
I've got to throw up.

Dance, bop-a-bop a-shoo-bop

Whoa whoa yeah

You look a bit
white there, Dave.

Oh God.

Looking good, ain't I, Dave?

Two birds in one night.



What are we going
to get tonight, eh?

When we got home, she
turned the radio on

Would you believe, we
danced all night long

Dance, bop bop shoo-bop
bop bop shoo-bop

Dance, shoo-bop bop bop shoo-bop

Stop that bloody racket.

Why should I?

I'm trying to sleep.

I could be the next big
thing, for all you know.

Whoa, whoa, whoa yeah

Oi, where
the hell are you going?

None of your business.

Who d'you think
you're talking to?

I'm going out, away from you.

Lend us a few quid.

No.

What d'you think I am?

I'm skint.

Come on, Dad.

When I was your age, I
didn't have two shillings

to rub together but I
knew how to make it last.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oi, what about my
really big breakfast?

Got everything?

I think so.

Glad to be out of this dump.

That's five years
I'm happy to forget.

Leaving present.

Where we going, then?

You'll see.

You all right
about leaving the home, then?

I've got to be, ain't I?

I'm 18 now.

You can move in
with us, if you want.

Nah, I'll be all right.

I can't wait to
get down to Brighton.

I ain't ever seen
the sea before.

Here, we can have fish
and chips and candy floss.

Hey, we might even meet
a couple of fellas.

Oh, plenty of them in Brighton.

They got to be better than
the blokes down our road.

God, there's
so much space out here.

Look, that sheep's sitting down.

My nan says that
means it's gonna rain.

I blooming hope not, I've
got me best shoes on.

Where's all the houses?

Have you got an umbrella?

Right, I'm going to have
a little sleep, then.

Wake me up when we're there.

It's the sea, I can see the sea.

Doreen.

Dor, snap out of it.

We're nearly here,
Dor, it's the sea.

I can see the sea.

Oh yeah.

Oh, Dee, look.

Ah, look at those white pigeons.

Thank you.

Bye, now bye.

Bye, now.

Ta.

Here we are.

I know, in't it nice?

I know.

Oh you know, I'll just dump this

and then we'll go down
to the prom, all right?

All right.

You forgot
your blooming lighter.

Lovely day though, ain't it?

Yeah.

'Ere ar.

He got one?

Got a light?

Yeah, I've got a light.

Nice day for it.

What?

Yeah, I suppose innit?

'Ere are, doll.

Thanks.

You ain't half bad.

You visiting?

Yeah, you?

Yeah, just for a bit.

Oh yeah, bit of what?

You know, bit of
this, bit of that.

Bit of the other.

Oh, couple of cheeky
ones here, Dave.

Well, girls, just so
happens we can help you

with that little
bit of the other.

You should be so lucky.

What?

Hey, where you going?

Oi.

Well, you dunno
what you're missing.

What we gonna do now then?

I dunno.

Oi, dude, you fancy
killing an hour in there?

What with all them pink rinses?

You must be joking.

Rather be tied to a chair

and forced to listen
to the cricket.

Come on, let's go
do something else.

Yeah.

Right, Di, don't look now

but there's a man
staring at you.

Oh, Di I told you not to look.

Oh, yeah.

He's good looking.

Yeah.

You think?

Yeah, you get used to the taste.

'Allo, girls.

I haven't smoked in ages.

Girls?

Hi, girls.

You all right?

How you doing, you all right?

You all right.

Running away for the
old smoke, then are ya?

Yeah.

Yeah, same here, gotta
get away from my old man.

Oh, yeah?

What you talking about, Del?

You ain't seen
him in six months.

He's only just out
of prison, aint he?

Keep your mouth shut.

Bit rough are you Balsall boy?

Leave it, girl.

That's our cig.

It's all right, I like
a fella who's a bit rough.

Oh yeah?

What part of London
are you from then?

East End.

Yeah.

Same here.

Your mince pies, they're
lovely and brown they are.

Just like my mum.

You talk bullshit,
just like my dad.

Do I?

What's your name?

Dinah.

Dinah.

I'm Del. What's your name?

Doreen.

Doreen.

What are you two doing now?

Dunno.

Fancy coming down the whiskey.

What's that when he's at home?

That's where we go
to hang out, in't it?

What'd you say then girl?

Fancy it?

Dunno. What'd you reckon Dor?

With these two?

Yeah.

Oh, shitting hell.

Whyd's it have to be me?

Oh De, all on your new shoes.

You have got to be
fucking kidding me.

Oh, I swear that little fucker's

got it in for me
every bloody time.

Every blooming time.

I swear.

Yeah, but that's good luck girl.

Well, that's a good omen.

That's why we've this spot
right outside the boozer.

Can you believe they turned
that fuckin' old car park

into a supermarket?

I ain't been down
here for years Del.

What'd you expect?

Well, you know, I
told you we should have

gone to Southend.

It's much closer and you can
still get a decent burger

and chips down there
for under a fiver.

Here we go.

Help us up then.

Mind me hand.

Here we go.

Up she comes.

Bloody hell my knees.

So, why are we coming down here

on a Saturday anyway?

Gonna be mayhem.

Stop moaning Del.

We're doing it for Doreen.

Now come on Bethnal Green,

eyes down for the full
house and don't let me down.

Let's beat Southend, shall we?

Right, two little
ducks, quack, quack.

22.

You are loosing
us money out 'ere.

Di do you fancy
going to Brighton

for the day on Saturday?

What?

Just the four of us,

go on it be fun.

Five and nine,
the Brighton line.

Brighton.

You and Dave ain't
been down there

since he was kids.

Six and seven the
stairway to heaven.

It's just something I wanna do.

We ain't been back for years.

Go on, we can
get all dressed up.

I'll get Dave to
get the car out.

Jump the giant.

We could get fish and chips.

And burgers.

Two fat ladies, 88.

Wobble wobble.

Oh none of you ladies
here of course.

'Ouse.

Yes.

Come on.

We can find our nice
little spot by the pool.

D'you remember?

Yeah, if it's still there.

Oh yeah, yeah.

It will be.

Go on then.

Oh, this is a bit different.

Isn't it?

Oh, look used to be a
lovely chandelier up there.

It's gone.

That's a shame in't it?

Yeah it's a shame.

I wonder what happened to that.

You'd of thought they'd
have looked after that.

Push it girl, push it.

Anyway, you're the gentleman.

I'm the gentleman?

If I'm the fucking gentleman.

I'm starving.

Don't think we'll get
a burger in here love.

Well, we beat 'em.

Oh look.

There's our little spot.

I know.

That's good, in't it.

Yeah.

Lovely.

Don't you get up to
any naughtiness though.

I won't.

Don't you get up to any
fucking naughtiness.

Steady girl.

You'd think they'd
somin' about these steps,

wouldn't ya?

Bloody lethal.

Watch the ankles.

Yeah, oh, oh.

Oh, so pleased.

It's lovely in't it.

And a fucking lovely day.

Here we go.

Go on get in Dor,

go on have a go.

Come on Dor.

Two girls, the two girls.

Smile, your on candid camera.

Can't remember what you all
wanted on your bloody burgers.

I know you can hear me.

What'd ya sodding well want?

You wanted me to get
your bleeding burgers,

so cheese, no cheese?

Onions, no onions?

Red sauce, no red sauce or what?

Ah sod ya.

Stupid bastards.

It's hot.

Bleedin' hot so she
gets in a tantrum.

Yeah, she's alright.

Take no notice, she's lovely.

She is, she's alright.

She'll be okay,
throw her in the water.

Cool it down,
she'll be laughing.

It's hot for her, get her
to splash about a bit.

My Di get in the water?

You gotta be bleeding joking.

She's too self-conscious
about the way she looks.

Way her fat wobbles and
it's her own bleedin' fault.

She won't stop noshin'.

Well its not her
fault, it's glands.

Don't be so unfair Derek.

Here I swear Sandra's
mum suffers from glands.

She eats like a sparrow
and she swells right up.

Sandra's mum?

Yeah, yeah she lives in
them renovated council blocks,

opposite the sewage works.

Where all the Pakistan's live.

Council flogged them
mostly to Pakistani's.

Mind you, they've got the dosh.

Anyway, Sandra's mum
has got thick ankles

from glands because
she retains water.

Don't be so unfair Derek,

it not her fault.

Heat gets to her.

She's got fluid retention.

Well, I mean, when she had
Tony, she didn't half swell up.

I mean, she really swelled.

I thought she was gonna
have fucking quins.

Yeah, blew right up she did.

It's like Sandra's mum.

She retains water.

Yeah, blimey she got big.

I tell ya.

Fluid.

So after pregnancy the
works gets all mucked up.

It's like they, they
don't restore themselves.

Oh shit.

What do you think?

I like it.

Yeah, it's much better
than the youth clubs near us.

They're run by the church
so you can't do nothing.

Yeah and it's free to get in.

Why do you come here?

Oh well it's a good
place to pick up birds,

innit?

Oh yeah I bet.

Yep.

Do you wanna go to
the pictures later?

It's half price tonight.

Yeah, why not?

I like dancing.

Do ya?

Well why don't me and you
go for a little cheeky dance

and we'll meet these love
birds back here later?

Yeah okay.

Yeah?

Alright then.

You got any fags?

Last one doll.

Here I'll go and
get some, if you like?

There's a place I know
just round the corner.

Oh, what a gent.

Nah you're all right, I'll go.

D'you want me to come with ya?

Nah you stay here
and make sure these two

don't pick anyone else up.

Alright love.

Dave go fucking with her.

She's gone Del, don't worry.

Can't go running after can I?

So East End yeah?

Whereabouts?

Green street.

Green street?

That's round the
corner from us mate.

Not far.

Yeah it's not far at all.

They in't half let this
fucking place go to pot.

This used to be dead
fucking posh, right?

It's a bleeding shithole.

Next thing you know, it'll
be a block of fucking flats.

Oh, the Pavilion's lovely.

Says 'ere it's supposed to
be a copy form the Taj Mahal.

Who told you that?

You in't half come out with,

fuck me, she just
made that up Del.

Don't be an ignorant bastard
at all your life, Dave.

I know it's based on the
Taj Mahal cuz I read it.

Some prince went over to India

and he fancied it so
much he built one 'ere.

I've always wanted to go India.

Oh, no fucking way.

Too many fucking Paki's.

I know it's historic.

I know that.

Your misses, she knows
a fucking thing or two,

don't she?

Ain't no flies on her.

Yeah. But if his
nibs ain't clocked it,

he thinks it don't
exist. Don't you doll.

And anyway Del, I
think you'll find

there are no
Pakistani's in India.

Oh, so Derek's
stupid in all, is he?

I never said you
were stupid Dave.

Could've fooled me.

I mean, how long does it
take to get a packet of fags?

Why don't you go and get us

another couple of cream cakes?

Yeah I wouldn't mind
another cuppa actually.

Hark at you, miss bossy boots,

now what'd your
last slave die of?

I'm just saying.

Go on Dave, you go get it.

I'll have a tea.

What'd you want?

Oh, just a cream cake.

Maybe a couple of sandwiches.

Oh, and a chocolate roll.

Well you heard her Dave, go on.

So what's the plan then?

Dunno, we're going dancing?

Well hopefully if old, bloody,

what's her name?

Doreen?

Doreen

If Doreen gets back.

Oh she won't be long.

She's only getting some fags.

I hate you.

You left me.

For nothing.

It was all for nothing.

I hate you.

I dunno what this bleeding
country's coming to.

Poofs everywhere.

Dog and duck this morning,

there was hundreds of them.

And I don't remember it used

to be like that years ago.

There's a lot of
it about now Del.

You know what they say?

Keep your back against the wall.

I mean, you know, you
see 'em now and again,

sitting in a corner,
quiet, like you know,

maybe a bit of mascara.

It weren't bothering no one.

Oh live and let live.

That's what I say.

Anyway they can't help
it, it's their hormones.

They've got female hormones.

They think they're birds.

They can't help it.

It's nature's way.

If you've got female
hormones, you fancy fellas.

No way Dor.

They ain't all got hormones,

you know some of
'em become poofs,

it's like they're corrupted.

No, no, no.

I'm telling ya it's hormones.

Some scientist did
a test and he says,

it's too many female hormones.

Here, Sandra's mum she
works for a couple of gays,

who've got a sandwich
shop in Dalston.

You know, bit of cleaning
and washing like,

and she reckons they're
the nicest couple

you could hope to meet.

Clean and keep a beautiful
flat, wonderful cooks.

She says they're every so funny.

Well, you know, I don't
say they're all bad.

Do I?

See?

He didn't say
nothing bad Doreen.

He ain't prejudice,
they can't help it.

Fuck all that prejudice, right?

I got nothing against them.

Leaves more crumpet
for us, ay Dave?

Can't be bad, hey?

Fucking nice one Del.

As long as they
keep away from me.

Hey, you better not
bend over hey Del?

Yeah well, they'll find

there's gold between them
there hills I tell ya.

Oh, that's gross Del.

That's put me right
off my beer that has.

Well, trust me, mate.

They won't get close
enough to find out.

You're right out
of order, you are.

Talking like that.

You've got no
respect you haven't.

Not for no one.

Look what I'm saying is
they better not get near me.

All right?

That's all I'm saying.

What?

You think there's
such sex maniacs

that they wanna get near to you.

They've got standards
like everyone else.

They're not that desperate.

Here, they'd stick
it in anything right?

They can't help it, they'd
stick it in a fucking tree.

Bit much Del.

Mind you, he's got a
point there Doreen.

I mean look the dog and
duck this morning right?

Me and Di we been going
in there for years

and they used to have
wine by the bottle.

They take 'em out and
they dust 'em down.

You know?

And not just your
red or your white

Sweet or your dry.

I mean, that was a
really great wine bar,

like with a wine list
as long as your arm.

And there'd be a
pianist there tinkling

on the old Joanna. Right?

Not some numpty going
down on a mic, right?

No, like a real instrumentalist.

Oh, grow up Derek.

Well, you know what I'm saying?

Nah, things have changed,
times have changed.

Yeah well you know what?

Maybe they've changed too much.

What about us, hey?

You know where we
supposed to go?

Hey, I mean, we used
love going in that gaff.

You sit there with your brew,

you know, sit outside.

There'd be a couple
of old biddies

there having a tipple of sherry.

You could have a laugh with,

it was a proper
old sherry house.

I used to like going
into them places in all

it had a proper atmos.

Yeah, right.

You know, big old
barrels up on the wall.

Great big fat old barrels.

Like your Di.

Hey, hey, watch your mouth mate.

That was right out of order.

No, that was out of order, Dave.

Sorry I took the right fucking
diabolical liberty there.

Yeah, you did.

Thanks Dor.

No, that was
definitely out of order.

I was joking.

Del knows I wouldn't
pull a stroke.

Your Dor knows my Di
can't help it, right?

And it ain't right.

Extracting urine out of
them that can't help it.

Excuse me.

Where is the nearest?

Shush, shush, shush.

Where's the nearest takeaway?

I need four burgers

I don't want that.

What's the matter with ya?

Fuck off, go on now.

'Ere leave me alone.

Ignorant bastards.

I'll go and get some
more cans, shall I?

No need, you got the last six.

No, no, no.

I was out of order there I was.

It's down to me.

Yeah.

Well, whatever you do, don't
go to the dog and duck.

Right?

It's full of gingers in there.

You two are such prats.

I'm just glad they've
got somewhere to go.

Look I'm just warning
him, that's all.

Alright?

You know, I ain't
prejudice, I ain't.

Right?

We got some Paki's
down our street.

Sweet as a nut.

Little corner shop, they
bought off the saucepan lids

Right?

You run out of fags,
you run in there.

Milk, bread, butter, tea,
news of the world, bacon.

We got a Paki shop down our way.

Get anything in there.

Tomatoes, eggs, frozen TV
dinners, chicken chop suey.

Frozen of course.

Beans.

Oh, they do that
Heinz vegetable salad,

what you like.

Dave really likes that.

I do, I must confess
I don't half go a bundle

on that Heinz vegetable salad.

Oh, he loves it.

He can't get enough.

We have to get 'em to
order more tins in.

He can't half get through it.

You won't have the news
of the world in the house,

will you love?

You're joking?

No I swear.

News of the world?

Hey, you're having me on.

That's a good read that
is that's all right.

That's exactly what
I keep telling her.

It's very suggestive Derek,

its a bit candid.

Yeah that's what Di says, right?

You know what I say?

Tells you what happens
in the world, alright?

It's only the truth, it's
what people get up to.

But Di she says it's sexist.

Ah, what's solid sexist.

Everything's sexist
nowadays, in't it?

Yeah, you know what's
going on, don't ya?

Your daughter, she's
gone and gotten involved

with some bint at work
that's turning her on

to being a feminist.

Di told me.

That bint happens to
be a friend of mine.

Alright.

I'm a sexist, you're a feminist.

She won't have anything
sexist in the house neither.

And she's always shouting
at men on the television.

Drives me up the fucking wall.

Don't worry Dor
it's just a phase

you're going through darling.

You two are such twats.

Dn't half feel for Di,

she in't half
struggling at the moment

with her knees and everything.

And I know it's her glands,

but she's so hot all the time,

it must be awful for her.

I mean, even if she took her
cardi off, it might help a bit.

Oh you're joking in't ya?

You know her, hey?

I mean show flesh?

With all her hangups?

I mean, she hates
looking at them fucking

girls in page three.

She can't stand it,
they got their tits out.

You know me?

I don't mind, right?

I mean, you know, God
made women, didn't he?

Aye.

So why should they be upset

about showing a bit
of what they've got?

He must have been working
overtime when he made Di.

No, no, he was pissed as a newt,

he said, let's have a giggle.

You men can be very cruel.

I was joking.

No that woman has
given birth three times.

What are you bloody
men good for?

Dor do me a favor will ya?

I slaved my bollocks
off for 30 years on that

assembly line in Ford,

all she'd done was sit around

on her fat arse watching
reality television

or video she forgot
to tape back, right?

The firring finds it
was the last time,

and actually all she ever done

was whip her titty
out now and again

so the nipper could have a nosh.

So don't go getting
your nickers in a twist

over her terrible life.

I'd swap in a fucking heartbeat.

He works like a dog Del.

My dad used to take
me down the library.

That was our telly
then we'd sit and read.

Oh and if he was late
back with your books,

you got fined tuppence a day.

It's all changed now, in't it?

Nah, sod reality TV and videos.

DVDs, terrific.

I mean, the advances
are unbelievable.

I mean like years
ago it was only

the movie stars that could
watch home movies, weren't it?

I mean, you'd hear about some,

sodding poncy movie star

watching a movie
in his front room.

While I'd be out queuing in
the rain for the one-a-nights.

I remember when I was a kid
queuing with my mum for yonks.

We missed the first
show, had to stay

in the queue for
the next session.

I think Di has gone
to kill him cows, right?

I'm gonna go and see
if I can find her.

Remember when we used to
go to the Roxy picture house?

We used to drink that
pissy orange muck.

It was always warm and we'd
be suckin' the last drops out.

The whole cinema sounded
like sodding croakin' frogs.

We used to snuggle
a lot in them days.

Things we used to get up
to in the dark back then.

Don't be a dirty bastard.

I mean with you, you daft mare.

Didn't half pull some
stunts in the dark.

Don't embarrass me Dave.

Oh, for fuck's sake Dor.

You got no humour anymore.

If nothing else, at least we
used to have a good laugh.

Here's your tickets, alright?

Cheers.

Oh, are you
thirsty or somethin'?

Nah, I got one for you.

Oh, thanks.

Wanna fag?

Yeah, go on then.

Ta.

You know I do like smoking?

Me mother smoked and
I think it makes you

look like a proper lady.

Ta.

I do like the taste as well.

I used to love them comedy
flicks when I was a kid.

We used to go every
Saturday morning.

I don't remember the last
time I came to the pictures.

In fact, I don't
think I've ever been.

How come?

You don't really get trips
out when you're in care?

Not even to the cinema.

Hiya.

You was in care?

Right.

Come on then, you're
gonna love this.

Welcome to your
first movie, my lady.

Oh Dave.

Just like that innit?

Come on then.

Sit down.

Sit down you're in
the way of the film.

Do you wanna go steady with me?

Might.

I didn't come here
to watch the film.

Me neither.

You working then?

Of course I am,

what do you take me for, huh?

Work in a factory dn't I?

Wanted to join the merchant navy

but I never got round to it.

I wanna be a short hand typist.

Do ya?

What are you doing after here?

Dunno, meet Dor and get the last

bus back I suppose?

Or, we got a B&B.

Have ya now?

Its got a lovely
view of the pier.

Oh, rocking robin,
'cause we're really

Gonna rock tonight.

Every little swallow,
every chick-a-dee

Every little bird in
the tall oak tree.

The wise old owl,
the big black crow,

Flappin' their wings
singing go bird go.

Rockin' robin,
tweet, tweet, tweet

Rockin' robin, tweet, tweedle-lee-dee

Blow rockin' robin, 'cause we're

Really gonna rock
tonight, tweet, tweet.

Bleeding time, I've
been out looking for you.

Well, you couldn't
have looked that hard.

Fucking sodding queue
a bleeding mile long.

And I got lost walking
halfway round Brighton.

Nothing's where it
frigging used to be.

Yeah, nice for you lot
sitting on your asses.

Right, what do you want?

I've got two cheese
and two plain.

I suppose you want the
sodding cheeseburger?

I don't care.

You want cheese, Dave?

Whatever's going Di.

Oh bleeding old
ladies make a decision

for once in your lives.

Cheese or plain,
they're getting cold.

Cheese.

Cheese.

I'll have plain,
that's lovely Di

thank you darling.

Here you are.

Ta.

I'll tell you what though.

I was glad to get away from him.

Not to have to listen to
all his bleeding moans.

Yeah well I appreciate all
your efforts on my behalf,

but this is luke-bleeding-warm.

Next time Dor

Mine's okay.

I swear, next time Derek.

Mine's actually quite hot.

Yeah well mine ain't.

And you know I can't
stand cold food.

Next time Derek, you bloody well

Honestly like do you wanna swap?

Next time get your own.

Oh, relax will ya.

You got fucking burgers,

you never swam the channel.

She queued for
half an hour Derek.

10 to 15 minutes.

No half an hour,
she left at two.

15 minutes tops.

No its two thirty now.

Well my fucking
ankles are telling me,

in no uncertain terms, that I've

been walking for half an hour.

Five fucking minutes.

We've been rabbiting
on about our wonderful

she is for going and
getting a fucking load

of ice cold burgers.

Bollocks, you really know how to

take my fucking appetite away.

Well mine's delicious Di.

Thanks much needs ta.

Lovely.

You got any mayonnaise?

Part of the service, doll.

Oh, you know what?

I think I might have over done
it with that orange juice.

Yeah, you were burping
like a frog you were.

Nah I wasn't.

She was.

How was your night?

Yeah, it was great.

Start of something, I reckon.

Start what then Dave?

Del, can we come back
down to Brighton again?

Yeah I'm coming down
'ere next weekend.

I suppose I don't
mind if you tag along.

I might just do that.

Yeah?

Alright then.

Used to come down here

nearly every weekend,
d'you remember?

Pound return it
was from Victoria.

Bleeding brilliant.

You make sandwiches and tea
and we'd scoffed the bleeding

lot before we got here.

Hey, d'you remember?

Oh you're talking
to me now, are ya?

Hey, now it's 30 bleeding quid.

Thank God for the A23.

You get on that, down
through Streatham,

through Croydon, sweet as a nut.

Get off me.

No, no.

Del you're much
better off on the M25.

It's terrific, that M25.

What you do, you get on
the A2 towards Devon,

or Dover silly sod.

Off on the M25,
piss off down there

till you see the M23.

Hit that, it takes you
straight into Brighton.

Motorway all the way.

You're mad getting the A23.

You're having a
laugh Dave, in't ya?

I mean, you go all that way

on the M25 going
east towards Dover,

you gotta come all
the way back in here.

You're putting 20
mile on the journey.

Nah, nah Del you're wrong.

'Cause of the build up on
the traffic on the A23,

you miss all that,
especially on a Saturday.

You can't get through
Brixton and Streatham.

Bangla-bloody-desh
down there on a Saturday.

Bangladesh, that's the East End.

That's Brick Lane, that is now.

Little India.

Brixton's little Jamaica.

How do they cook
them green bananas?

They boil them.

Where's the khazi's?

I've gotta have a slash.

Same place they've
always been Del.

I'll come with ya.

I'll get them beers
while I'm at it.

Here Dave will
you get me some of

my fags in all?

And some fags yeah.

What are you fucking
laughing at, hey?

You think it's fucking funny

to see an old lady fall over?

You, you ain't no fucking
oil painting, I can tell ya.

Have you looked at
yourselves lately?

Go on, let them have a
good look at the fat cow.

Come on, have a good look.

They weren't laughing at you.

Yes they were.

I ain't fucking stupid.

I know what they think.

My Del, watching
everything I eat.

Making snide comments and
going on about my weight.

And then them blokes in
the pub this morning.

What blokes?

They was laughing at me.

I ain't ever seen
so many of them.

Poofters, big muscles,
leather trousers on the staff.

Laughing and pointing,
making me feel

like a fucking freak.

It was two of quite
young members,

I thought they was
gonna pee themselves.

Damn the pretty boys.

I knew they hated me.

They all hate women.

Oh, I'm sure that
can't be right.

You must have read it wrong.

I'm sure they weren't
laughing at you.

You just been down on your self.

You're tired.

I think was probably all
out having a good time,

that's all.

You weren't there.

Here, your Di's in a right
state, she's really upset.

Something about blokes in a pub,

laughing at her this morning.

It's really got to her.

Yeah, that's all
your old gay mates

down at the dog and duck.

See told you, was horrid.

Yeah, yeah.

Hundreds of 'em were
all laughing at her.

Oh horrible.

Makes me shudder.

Pointing.

There was so many of 'em,
makes me go hot and cold.

Yeah, I mean, you know,
all had leather trousers

and mustaches.

I mean, we ain't prejudice.

We ain't like, you know,
go on Di you tell 'em?

No, he's right.

We ain't prejudice.

But imagine all of them
laughing like that.

I wouldn't have mind it,
but we was only there

cause we got here
first, which was funny.

Cause I thought you said
you was taking the M25.

Well, we was lucky
with the traffic.

Yeah, sorry Di it's
faster than that usually,

I swear, but we had to
stop for mother nature.

Oh, I love the way you're
always blaming my bladder.

Yeah. You're bladder,
my bleeding prostate.

I think you'll find that it
was you who was falling asleep

at the wheel and we had to
stop and get you a coffee.

Yeah, well its a fact
the motorway coffee

is dia-fucking-bolical.

She needed a frigging leak.

Shut up, shut up, shut
up about my bloody bladder.

It's never your fault.

Is it?

Take no notice Dor,
he's probably pissed.

He should be more worried
about his tram lines.

What are you on about?

Oh, well my cousin Barry,

who works down the
brewery at Whitechapel,

he says at school, you
was known as tram lines.

Cause you always
wore the same undies.

Not this crap again.

Will you leave it?

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe I'll save it for
a more shitty occasion.

She's supposed to
be your fucking mate.

Tell her to shut up.

It ain't funny.

Tram lines.

Your cousin Barry
fucking squint-eyed,

bullying little Tony.

Skid marks,
skid marks, skid marks.

I'm gonna get you.

It's all a fucking dia-fucking-bolical

That's him.

And I mean bo-llacks.

Skid marks, skid marks.

Leave me alone.

His mum's called
darkies on cable street,

on the game she was.

Give it a rest Dave.

We was just having a laugh.

Yeah at my expense.

Load of bollocks, I swear.

We don't mean anything.

We were just having
a bit of a laugh.

Yeah, it ain't that.

I'm used to being the
butt of everyone's jokes.

Well what is it then?

It's you Doreen.

The way you make me feel.

Don't matter how hard I tries,

like I'm fucking invisible.

Like I don't count for nothing.

You're overreacting.

You're just pissed.

Oh am I?

Why?

Cause you say so?

That's right, you
remember that tandoori

we used to go in the lanes?

Well it's only
fucking still there.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh they did a
lovely prawn vindaloo.

Yeah, yeah.

I bet you'd love a
prawn vindaloo now

wouldn't you girl, hey?

Hey, I bet you could
muller a biryani

and an onion bhaji and a pile of

fucking poppadoms.

Chicken tikka, woo!

Yeah they did a fucking
wicked chicken tikka.

Oh shall we go there later?

Well we could couldn't we?

We could, yeah.

Here Dave?

Dave?

What?

We're thinking
of getting a ruby.

Do you fancy it?

Yeah, whatever.

All right don't do
us any fucking favors.

Remember we used to go there
after we'd had our swim.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, I love a
curry after a swim.

Yeah, mind you don't half
make you run in the morning.

They say, if you're constipated,

it's best thing you can eat.

Better than all them pills.

Just an hot curry.

Or you can order extra hot,
dn't half make your eyes water,

but I like really hot.

Yeah, yeah

We'll go and see the dolphins,

d'you remember hey?

Cor blimey they're
smarter than most humans,

I know right.

Fucking amazing the
capers they get up to.

I think it's cruel.

Ah, they're happy as
larks swimming around,

smiling their heads
off, doing tricks.

They couldn't do 'em
if they was pissed off

would they?

They'd be sulking.

Don't you think they
missed their ocean home?

We could go to that Indian
after for old time's sake.

Yeah, after.

Not now.

Lets go down the pier, like,

you know we'll play
the slot machines

and then we'll have
a little walk along

to Rottingdean, right?

That's too far.

Well, all right.

Look, you know, it's
only a couple of miles.

We'll have a slow canter.

I can't, it's too
far for my ankles.

Well, alright darling.

Look, we're walk slow alright?

And you can work up an
appetite for your old biriyani.

It's my ankles.

Leave her Derek, she can't walk

so leave her.

We'll take a short
walk along the pier.

But it's only a short pier.

Well that's all
right, fresh air,

short walk, bit of a natter,

you can go in that arcade and
kill a few of your Nazi mates.

You like that?

Oh, ta.

Eh, look I used to love
our walk along to Rotters

under the cliff and
hear the old seagulls

screaming their heads off, hey?

Watch the sunset.

Fucking handsome it
was watch the boats.

I can't, my fucking ankles hurt.

I know, I know,

I know, I'm just saying
it's nice, alright?

I know your fucking ankles hurt.

Oh shit.

Bet you didn't
expect to run into us,

you grease monkey.

Not from round 'ere, are ya?

Got a name then?

Piss off.

You what?

You heard me, piss off.

Get off me.

I said get off me.

Shit.

Come on boys.

Is that all you got, huh?

Shit.

Oh hey.

Wait, wait here.

What happened?

Take, take.

Thanks.

Shall I call an ambulance?

Nah, nah.

Would you like a beverage?

A fag please.

Ta.

How's my nose look, alright?

Yeah, you are fine.

Ah.

You scrub up well.

Do I?

Let me just, put your head back.

What are ya?

Huh?

Please, relax.

What you playing at?

Huh?

Please.

Piss off.

No please do not leave.

See all the darkies
down on the beach.

Brighton, the
Caribbean of England.

Well, yeah, it's funny.

They're all lying
there like that.

They can't be
trying to get a tan.

Di you are dozy.

Hey, they like to eat,

they like the sun, right?

Originally they come
from a sunny place.

So like they're drawn
to the old current bun.

Oh, they're a lovely family.

Look at 'em all together.

It's cheaper, in't it
get 'em all in one motor.

Oh Dave, do you
have to be like that?

No look that dad's being really
sweet with his little girl.

Oh Dave, in't it half lovely.

Here, what did you do
with them fags you got me?

Oh, bugger.

Oh, do you know what?

You can be such a useless
flaming git sometimes.

I asked you to do one thing.

Give me a break, I
had all the cans to get.

It ain't the crime
of the century.

I'll nip down and get 'em now.

One lousy thing.

Alright, you keep on,
you can get 'em yourself.

If you are going now, would
you get us a packet of fags?

You need the money now or
you alright till we get back?

No I'm alright.

Oh, could just murder a
nice little bit of chocolate.

Just got a fancy
for it right now.

Suddenly got a yen.

Chocolate, fags, fags.

Do you want anything else?

Oh if you can manage it,

I'll have packet of crisps.

Cheese and onion
or salt and vinegar?

Prawn cocktail, ta.

Prawn cocktail, right.

Fuck me, they've only
got a nude beach here

where they go with
their dicks hanging out.

Really?

Yeah straight up, I
kid you fucking not.

A nude beach for men.

I like nudity.

I mean, I don't think there's
nothing wrong with it.

It's gotta be men
and women though.

Yeah, well, you know if
you're normal, it's all right.

In't it, hey?

I mean, it's the most
natural thing in the world.

We was born without
nickers weren't we, hey?

I mean, yeah, I'll go for that.

As long as the birds have
got a nice pair of Bristols.

Oh shut up, gutter mouth.

See.

See what?

You don't like exposure, do ya?

You think it's rude.

Not rude, not rude.

Jerk head.

It's embarrassing.

Just an excuse for you
to look at us and laugh.

I don't think anyone
should be ashamed

of showin' their body.

And Di I keep telling ya,
no one's laughing at ya.

But Derek, I think
you'll find it's 2005.

So when men are using nudity
to sell shit newspapers

to wankers like you, it's
no better than whorein'.

I mean, I know they can say

that they're broad minded
and all that bollocks,

but at the end of the day,

they're no better than pimps
putting birds on the game.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry, yeah.

I didn't mean to bring that up.

As the actress
said to the bishop.

I must say Doreen.

I've never thought about
it like that before.

That makes sense, I must say.

It's soft porn.

We should get Del on page three.

Yeah. I should fucking coco,

in your fucking dreams.

He'll know what it's like

to have people ogling
and laughing at ya.

Oh, you're not still
going on about this morning

are ya?

What this morning?

Di in that pub this morning,

with all them gays
laughing at her.

I just can't get outta my mind.

They fucking hated me.

Ah, no, not necessarily.

You know, they might be poofters

but don't mean to say
they hate women, you know,

just don't wanna get near 'em.

I have to say
looking around here,

don't entirely blame them.

Oh, well maybe you've got

a touch of the
iron yourself, hey?

Oh, iron hoof, me?

You gotta be joking, my
old fucking sweetheart.

Amazing, in't it hey?

Whenever you don't
wanna swing a leg over,

you get accused of being a poof.

I can't help my fat, I hate it.

Oh, it's fluid
retention, darling.

Don't matter what you call it.

I'm a fat, wobbling, lump.

It's medical, it'll go.

It will darling, it will.

Mind you, you know, you
don't half put it away.

You do, you know?

I fucking eat less than you do.

It's just cause you're
always watching me.

You and your snide remarks.

Yeah, well I'm just trying

to fucking encourage
you to diet.

You was gonna have a
whole fucking cheeseburger.

I had the plain burger and
gawd knows how many largers.

You and Dave have put away.

Can hear you fucking
lot right under the pier.

Right?

Chocolates.

Fags.

Cheers mate.

Fags.

Cheese and onion crisps.

They never had no
prawn cocktail.

Oh.

So do you wanna have a go
and look at the pavilion?

Nah, I've fucking
seen it already.

It's poxy and it
costs a fucking bomb.

What do you wanna do?

Fuck all.

Let's go on the
fucking bumper cars.

Oh yeah, that's about right.

You two are a pair
of overgrown kids.

All right, here.

Di do you wanna squeeze

on a fucking bumper
car with me, hey?

Hey?

Hey, look, darling.

Come on.

I'll take you as you are doll
for better or for worse, hey?

Come on you old boot,

you know, I love you ya.

Do ya?

Of course I do.

Fuck all them others
on page three.

You're the one I love, hey?

You're the fucking
one for me babe.

Hey, so don't go getting
those silly fucking ideas.

Cause you're my mate.

You know that don't ya?

Give us a chocolate.

You're pissed.

No I'm not, fucking not at all.

I'm fucking
certainly not bronze.

I've only had four
or maybe five.

I'm fucking sober as a judge.

Probably soberer.

And anyway, you know what?

I don't give a fucking monkeys
what size you are darling.

Cuz there's more of
you to cuddle, right?

You're pissed.

I'm not, I promise ya.

I swear, I'm not.

Do you mean it, really?

I mean it really, I could have

killed them two in the
fucking boozer this morning.

Glad you didn't.

I'm dreaming dreams.

Oh no.

Not that.

Oh, here we go.

I'm scheming schemes.

I'm building castles high.

Come on, I'm in the mood.

They're born anew,
their days are few.

Just like a sweet butterfly.

Oh I don't have any choice.

And as the daylight is
dawning, they come again

in the morning.

Here you are love.

Come on you two,
let's have a dance.

Come on, everyone join in.

Come on.

I forever blowing bubbles,

pretty bubbles in the air.

They fly so high,
nearly reach the sky.

Then like my dreams
they fade and die.

Fortune's always hiding,

I've looked everywhere.

I'm forever blowing bubbles,
pretty bubbles in the air.

What's wrong?

I tread on your
foot or something?

No, I just can't.

Thank you very much.

Fuck me, that's enough
exercise for one day.

Oh shit, I'm hot.

Woo.

You alright?

I dunno.

Hey, I dunno.

Oh yeah, bit of a giggle.

Bit of a dance.

Come on lets go on
them fucking bumpers.

Yeah.

Hey ain't you gonna
clear that lot up?

Nah, nah, why?

That's someone
else's fucking job.

Classic.

The dustman will do it.

You wanna go on the
slot machines first?

Ah let's go on the bumpers aye?

Have a bash about, aye?

Oh I'd rather go
and see the dolphins.

Can't we do that?

Here you are.

You go with Di to
see the dolphins,

we'll go on the bumper cars

and meet you back
here in an hour.

Yeah one hour, alright?

Same place, an hour.

Alright, we heard ya.

One hour.

Ish.

Yeah.

Don't wanna hear there's
any temptation going on.

Ah well, depends if
anything tempting comes along.

Yeah.

All right sweetheart?

Look at that Dave.

The benefits of Brighton, aye?

All right girls?

Perverts.

Oh, I'm not gonna do
this again in a hurry.

You'll be alright.

I don't remember
it being this steep.

Well, we've got a
bit older ain't we?

Yeah.

Look round the corner.

Yeah was this corner.

Oh yeah used to be.

No it was definitely here.

Oh God my feet.

The whole things gone.

Fucking hell.

Oh fuck.

Even the fucking
dolphins aren't safe.

Oh, sod it we might as
well go back to the pool.

We could have a nice
little bit of candy floss

and a cup tea or something.

Do you know what Di, I've
got bit of an headache.

I think I'm gonna
find a chemist.

Get an aspirin, you go.

You alright?

I thought you like dancing.

Yeah, yeah, no, I'm alright.

Yeah I'm okay.

I'd come with your Dor
but it's all this walking.

No, it's alright.

I'll see you later Di.

Alright, ta-ra.

Sorry Dor.

It's the only place I
can find any kind of peace.

Sorry to intrude.

It's a free country.

Is it very recent?

The loss.

Was 50 years ago today.

Feels like yesterday.

Was it here?

What happened?

Sorry, do you mind me?

It was me and my dad.

We was here, we was
feeding the birds.

It was our favorite place
after me mum had died.

Suddenly he said, don't move.

Stay there.

Promised me he'd never leave me.

He, he left me.

He was gone.

And the little
girl, she was gone.

Little girl?

Oh yeah,

her kite got stuck,

they said that she
was trying to find it

or something

and, she drowned.

And your dad,

your dad saved the little girl?

If only.

Oh, are you alright?

Can I do anything?

Can I get someone, or?

Darling stay here.

Don't move.

Okay.

Daddy?

Daddy?

Daddy?

Ted, for goodness sake.

You do have to move you know?

You are not hitting it right.

Oh.

This isn't what I had in mind,

when you said we could
spend the day together.

Ted

No Tom you must speak English,

if you want me to get a job.

Do you think we'll ever be able

to be that happy and carefree?

It must be so beautiful
to be so at ease.

I hate Brighton on a weekend.

Every yob and his
sister comes down.

Ay, miserable bastards.

All they want to
do is get pissed

and have a fight.

It's horrible.

Look at it.

It's disgusting with all
these empty beer cans,

the dirty bastards wouldn't even

put them in bins.

What the bleedin' hells
going on down there?

What do they think
they're doing?

Oi, oi.

Down where?

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

What?

That's the pair
of fucking nonces

who was laughing at fucking Di

in the boozer this morning.

Did nobody tell
you I was alright?

Well, I asked and asked,

but no one at the
home gave a toss

or, I don't know,
maybe they didn't know.

If I had just stayed
with my mum and dad,

not gone chasing
that stupid kite.

Your dad.

He didn't die in vain, Doreen.

He saved my life.

And now here we are.

Who'd have thought it?

Do you remember what happened?

I remember feeling weightless,

floating,

drifting away.

Like a mermaid to live
at the bottom of the sea.

And then I couldn't breathe.

And then someone was dragging
me back to the surface,

telling me what a brave
little girl I was.

That was your dad.

He lifted me up onto a
girder under the pier.

So I was safe.

Then there was a big wave.

Big wave.

And when it was gone,

your dad was gone too.

A life for a life.

I thought my dad
had deserted me.

But he was a hero.

Excuse me, you're
blocking my sun.

You're sitting on our chairs.

Your chairs?

So you are the slobs who left
that disgusting mess behind?

Here that Del?

We're a couple of slobs.

Yeah. Yeah.

Pair of fucking poofs like you,

calling us slobs, hey?

You spent all fucking morning

laughing and taking the
piss out of my old lady.

And then to cap it
off you call us slobs.

We were doing what?

We don't even know your wife.

Course you don't.

And I suppose you
weren't in the dog

and dick this morning, were ya?

Laughing your fucking
asses off at her.

We wouldn't do that.

Oh, well you weren't in the dog

and dick this morning?

The dog and duck.

Yes we were.

But we weren't laughing.

You hate women, don't ya?

You think they're funny?

You think my woman's
a right gas, don't ya?

You think his wife's a joke?

Look, we haven't
done anything, okay?

What are we supposed
to have done?

Laugh.

You was having a right
laugh, weren't you hey?

Because she suffers
from what you

might call, a generous form.

Go on have some fucking
guts in a minute,

and we won't fucking hurt ya.

Say you're sorry,
you was out of order

and you won't do it again.

I swear I've never seen
you or your wife before.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Yeah, well you're telling

a big old porky pie their mush.

I wasn't laughing
anyone, I wasn't.

Ah leave me alone,
you old bastard.

Leave him alone.

Hey, you want fucking some more?

Ted where are you going?

Go on run, you fucking fairy.

You keep out of it.

I'll call the police.

Yeah, yeah like I give a fuck.

What's happened?

What's going on?

Weren't he that
poofter from the pub?

You in't half kick him Del.

I thought I heard a bone crack.

Del, what have you done?

Bollocks like, I
only touched him.

I just give him a light
whacking, you know?

Bruised arse.

Will be a bit
painful down there.

Might muck his love life
up for a couple of days.

Come on.

Del when you kicked him,

half the fucking
beach looked up.

And then you kicked him again.

Everybody saw it.

I lost me fucking rag mate.

You must've kicked
him vicious though Del.

He looked white.

Look he's alright.

You know?

And I fucking done
it for you, didn't I?

Hey?

I mean, you know, it's nothing.

Someone else could have put
him in a fucking hospital.

There was no need
to put the boot in,

he could do you for assault.

Yes look, where's the age
of fucking chivalry, hey?

You know, he insulted me

cuz he insulted
my fucking woman.

So I booted the twat, alright?

That's it.

Game over, finished.

Oh, come here.

Fuckin' hell, I'm still shaking.

I think we deserve
a few more brews.

Oh nah I think we've
had enough for one day.

Haven't we?

Why don't we just head off hey?

You two go and find the cars

and I'll go and find Doreen.

Wait for us outside
the bingo, alright?

Let's pick up a few
cans on the way Dave, aye?

I've had enough Del.

You fucking lightweight.

Oh, bastards.

This is Millie,
first day at college.

And that's her
younger sister, Izzy.

Ahh, they look just like ya.

Well Izzy looks more
like her dad, but yeah.

How about you?

Well, it didn't happen
when it was supposed to.

Thought about it for years,

and then it was too late.

Caused us agonies.

It's my fault.

I'm sure that's not true.

I was an orphan.

I got put in the home.

I was frightened that that
would happen to my children.

Dave says that it's made
me cold and unfeeling,

but I was afraid Alice.

I'm so sorry.

I grew up dead fast.

I had to, losing my
dad was an agony.

And you come back
here every year?

Every year.

Used to come with my mum and dad

till they got too
busy with work.

And then I started
coming on my own.

I was coming to find ya.

I've been looking
fucking everywhere.

Gonna set off now.

Why so early?

I thought we was
going for a curry

to that place in the lanes?

You gonna introduce us then?

Oh yeah, sorry.

Dhina this is Alice.

Alice this is Dhina.

Hello.

I wondered why it was taking you

so long to find fucking aspirin.

Come on, I told the
boys we'd meet them

outside the bingo.

They'll be waiting.

Di.

Sorry Alice.

I better be going.

Yeah, I've gotta go
and pick up the kids.

Well it's been lovely to meet.

Such a surprise.

Yeah.

I'll call ya.

Anytime.

Oh, such a lot to take in.

Keep in touch.

Yeah, will do.

Bye.

Bye.

Who's that then?

No one.

Didn't look like no one to me.

Such a surprise.

I'll call ya?

She your long lost sister?

You a bit jelly jell?

Oh, you wish.

Take me arm.

The day, it's been nice, aye?

Ain't half been bad.

Weather kept up.

Yeah, yeah.

Bit taters.

I don't mind,

I like it fresh.

Yeah get the old appetite going.

Del.

What?

I don't fucking believe it.

That little poofter's back.

What do you mean back?

'Ere, look, 'ere.

Fuck me Del, there's
about a dozen of 'em.

Fucking dope, its a
bunch of fuckin' kids.

Look, it's them I swear.

Look, they're all lookin' at us.

Fuck me they're
coming towards us.

Hey, you're fucking right, mate.

That's that fucking
poof that run off,

in't it, aye?

He's got all his fucking
china's with him now.

You hold your ground.

There's too many of 'em.

No, no, no, no.

They're fucking poofs
mate, they ain't geezers.

You don't run away from
a fuckin' crowd of poofs.

But Del they're mob handed.

Look, it don't matter.

Let's have it away.

Just fuckin' stay here alright?

Don't go fucking shittin' out.

I'll get some help.

You fucking cow.

You fucking gutless,
fucking wanker.

Go on fucking tramlines.

Get your mum to change
your fucking nickers.

You ain't got it in ya, have ya?

No, no, no.

No more violence.

You wanna call the police?

Fuckin' get you, I swear.

No you won't.

Because this isn't
about an eye for an eye.

It's about to live and let live.

I don't know your name.

I don't know anything about you.

But I do know one thing,

you, us, we are all the same.

We are no better than you

and you are definitely
no better than us.

Trust me, he's far worse.

This world's
changing really fast.

So you better keep up, mate.

Oh fuck me, what
we doing down here?

Its horrible.

This is where I last saw him.

Oh look at that, that's filthy.

We was on our way to
the bingo, weren't we?

To meet ya.

Del?

Hello?

Derek?

Hello?

Oh my God.

No, no, no, no.

It's all right.

He's gonna be alright.

Del?

Oh, oh my darling.

Oh my little Del'y baby.

Oh, darling, what
have they done to you?

Dave go and find a phone box,

Call an ambulance.

God there's blood.

Oh fuck me.

Now Dave.

Oh fuckin' hell.

It don't matter, it don't matter

how twisted you are after,

I'll still love ya.

I will.

What the fuck we still
hanging around here for?

I wanna get home and
watch some fuckin' telly.

I'm desperate to
watch a bit of telly.

Doctor's got to come
in and discharge ya.

Won't be long now Del.

If you're done in there,
I need your next door.

What's wrong?

Nothing, I'm just a bit sore.

Well, you're obviously
more than just a bit sore.

Have you had it looked at?

Look can you do me a favor?

Can you just give this
one to someone else?

I haven't got anyone else.

Why are you laughing?

I'm not laughing.

Why does everyone think
I'm laughing all the time?

I wouldn't do that.

Come and find me later.

And we'll talk then, okay?

Okay.

No fuckin' way.

Oh these young
doctors are marvelous.

Look, I tried to get
you a different person,

but as usual there
is too many patients

and not enough staff.

So it looks like we're
stuck with each other.

Yeah, well let's fucking
get on with it, alright?

So I can get out of here
and don't fuckin' touch me.

Oh, for crying out loud Derek.

He's just tryna help ya.

Look.

It's obvious the other bird
knew jack shit, alright?

So I guess it's down to you.

So gimme your worst.

You know, I could tell
by the fucking pain

I'm in, it's serious.

So, but if it's life
threatening, I wanna know.

Alright?

Are you sure you
can handle the truth?

Oh, Derek.

We're here for you Del.

You be strong Di.

You have a hairline
fracture in your pinky finger

and some small bruises
around your eyes.

Is that it?

Yes.

How?

Oh so he's gonna be
alright then doctor?

Yes.

Come on, we need the bed.

Of course he's
gonna be alright Di.

He's just being bloody Derek.

Come on Dave.

Oh, thank fuck Del.

Thank you doctor.

Could've been loads worse.

Oh, d'you know what?

I'm starving.

Where the fuck you all going?

I can't fucking
drive, I'm a victim.

Here.

I'm sorry.

I was out of order.

I won't do it again.

Cheers.

God sake's stop moaning.

Shut up.

Don't tell me to shut up

or I will not push
this, alright?

Alright, alright.

Be nice.

Alright I will be nice.

Because it's fucking heavy.

Just fuckin' push.

No look, I'm gonna
turn you round, alright?

I've put the break on.

Alright.

No, no, take it off.

You want it off?

Take the break off.

Alright, it's off.

Alright I can't turn it round.

Go on fucking push.

Drop it back a bit.

Take the break off.

I've got the break off.

Fuck me.

Go on.

You'll have another
bleedin' nose in a minute.

Right? Is it?

It's on.

If you roll back,
I'm not responsible.

You'll go straight
into that fuckin'.

Oh come on Del.

For fuck's sake.

Hairline fucking
fracture, will ya?

Oh, come on let's
get you out of here.

Jesus, hang on, hang on.

Mind your fucking hands,
where you put 'em.

Jesus Christ almighty.

You're certainly no fucking
Florence Nightingale, are ya?

Put your legs in.

He did leave the breaks on.

I got it.

He's in.

He's in.

Give us me coat.

He left the fucking breaks on.

There ya are.

That's it.

He was doing that to
me all the way down.

Fucking exhausted.

Oh, I got a limp.

Oh you alright?

No.

Why what ya do?

You trod on my toe,
that's what happened.

What a day, aye Del?

Anyone fancy a curry?

Oh yeah

I am starving.

Could murder a fucking
prawn vindaloo mate.

So who was that woman
I saw you with earlier?

Oh, I'll tell you later.

What woman?

Oh, a woman of colour.

What was kissing your Dor?

You fuckin' what?

Okay Dave.

You're not turning into
one of them lesbians are ya?

Who's got the car keys?

You didn't give
'em to me did ya?

Don't think I've got
'em in me handbag.

They're in 'ere.

Oh they're in the ignition.

Dozy sod.

Are you gonna
come into your ours

and we'll order a curry in?

Oh, lovely.

Oh yeah.

Not a bad idea.

Stop for some chips
on the way though.

It'll been quite a long time
till we get to yours, innit?

What'd ya think Del?

To-bleedin-right mate.

Hey ya.

I'm looking for a
lift back to London.

Got any space?

Yeah, sure.

Move over girls.

Hop in love.

Oh bloody hell.

Oh for fuck's sake.

You should be careful a
beautiful girl like you.

Taking rides from strangers.

You never know who's
gonna pick you up.

London, aye?

You got any plans
when you get there?

Yeah I'm meeting my girlfriend.

We're going to gay
pride tomorrow.

Oh, lovely.

My friend was kissed
by a woman today.

Really?

Yeah.

I tell you about it later.

We're ever so
broad-minded, you know?

I must say, you wouldn't know

you was a lesbian
by looking at ya.

Nah.