Brewster McCloud (1970) - full transcript

I forgot the opening line.

Enough of that, Hobbs.

Flight of birds,
the flight of man...

Man's similarity to birds,
birds' similarity to man.

These are the subjects at hand.

And we will deal with them
for the next hour or so

and hope that
we draw no conclusions,

elsewise, the subject
shall cease to fascinate us.

And alas, another dream
would be lost.

There are too few.

In these words,
the German poet Goethe...



...expressed man's
desire to fly.

"How I yearn to throw
myself into endless space

and float above
the awful abyss."

Man, incontestably
the most advanced creature,

has only to observe
the flight of birds

to realize the weight
of the earth's imprisonment.

And so, the desire to fly
has been ever-present

in the mind of man.

But the reality
has been long in coming.

Has man truly
realized his dream?

To answer that,
we must isolate the dream.

Was the dream
to attain the ability to fly?

Or was the dream
the freedom that true flight

seemed to offer man?



We may also touch on
the mortal damage man is doing

to birds' environment
in comparison

to the piddling nuisance
birds cause man.

It may someday be necessary

to build enormous
environmental enclosures

to protect both man and birds.

But if so, it is questionable

whether man will allow birds in

or out, as the case may be.

♪ Oh, say can you see ♪

♪ By the dawn's early light ♪

♪ What so proudly we hailed ♪

♪ At the twilight's
last gleaming ♪

♪ And bright stars ♪

♪ Through the perilous fight ♪

♪ O'er the ram... ♪

What key?

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Stop, you!
Stop! Stop! Stop!

You're in the wrong key!

The wrong key!

And I want that
scoreboard lighted!

I want that scoreboard
lighted every time we do it!

And you! I want everything just
exactly the way it should be!

That's why you're
in these uniforms!

That's why I bought you
these uniforms!

Now, let's start again
in the right key!

All right! Again!

♪ O say can you see ♪

♪ By the dawn's early light ♪

♪ What so proudly we hailed ♪

♪ At the twilight's
last gleaming ♪

♪ Whose broad stripes
and bright stars ♪

♪ Through the perilous fight ♪

♪ O'er the ramparts we watched ♪

♪ Were so gallantly streaming? ♪

♪ And the rockets' red glare ♪

♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪

♪ Gave proof through the night ♪

♪ That our flag was still there ♪

♪ O say does that
star-Spangled ♪

♪ Banner yet wave ♪

♪ O'er the land of the free ♪

♪ And the home of the brave ♪

Now, that was good!

That was good!

Now, once again!
I want once more!

♪ Lift every voice and sing ♪

♪ Till earth and Heaven ring ♪

♪ Ring with the harmonies ♪

♪ Of liberty ♪

♪ Let our rejoicing rise ♪

♪ High as the listening skies ♪

♪ Let it resound
loud as the rolling sea ♪

♪ Sing a song full of the faith ♪

♪ That the dark past
has taught us ♪

♪ Sing a song full of the hope ♪

♪ That the present
has brought us ♪

♪ Facing the rising sun ♪

♪ Of our new day begun ♪

♪ Let us march on
till victory is won ♪

♪ Sing a song full of the faith ♪

♪ That the dark past
has taught us ♪

Social behavior.

Shelderup Ebb first used
the word “dominance,"

in describing his observations
on the social hierarchies

of birds.

He concluded that within a flock

composed of a single species,

there exists a definite
order of social distinctions.

And that between any two birds,

one invariably has
precedence over the other.

All right, it's gonna...

Sir?
High today 95 degrees,

partly cloudy,
light air pollution.

♪ Let it snow ♪

♪ Let it snow, let it snow ♪

Sir?

Got a great hit!
Number one in town!

Good morning, Mr. Wright.

Good morning, Birdie.

Get that away from me!

I don't trust your big ears,
you dirty pinko.

Here's your money, sir.

- I don't have to count it, do I?
- Oh, no. No, sir.

- It's all here, isn't it, Birdie?
- Oh, yes, sir.

Every last bit.

- Yes, sir.
- Yeah.

What is that? Huh?

Yeah! Look at that!

Look at that!
Two big Georges right there!

Who threw that tomato?

The investigation
continues at this hour

into the mysterious death of
well-known Houston socialite

Miss Daphne Heap,

the soprano who sings the national
anthem...

...at the Astrodome
before every ball game.

Put that window down, McCloud.

McCloud, you don't listen to me.

Now, there are two things
I want to tell you,

not only about your driving
which is just deplorable,

but also about your
deportment which is also...

Here's an important
bulletin just handed me.

The latest development in that trio
of mysterious murders in Houston

came today from the office
of Haskell Weeks,

the longtime friend
of the city told KILT reporters

that he's bringing in
a special investigator

from the San Francisco
Police Department.

A man identified only as Frank Shaft.

Well, kid, that's it.

I'm closing
this place down, McCloud.

The black part's a conspiracy,
they're moving in.

Did you see that grenade?

There were buckets of grenades
in the living room.

That kamikaze...

Get off the grass! McCloud!

Get me off!
McCloud! Oh, McCloud!

Get Spiro on the phone,

that's what I'm
gonna do right now.

Get me out of here.
Be careful now, McCloud.

Easy! Easy!

Easy, McCloud!

Easy, now!

Up! One by one!

Oh, I just dropped
a steamer through the hoop.

This is
Karl Williams, KILT news.

Quarter past the hour now and
time for the Hudson & Harrigan

and the cure minute, sir.

How about a rebel yell then...

What may
prove to be an important clue

was turned up by police

when it was discovered
Miss Heap's prize pigeons

were apparently
released by the killer.

Miss Heap's deep affection
for the birds

was well known
throughout the southwest.

Yes, everything
seems to be in good shape.

I'm very pleasantly
surprised, Maybelline.

Wait a minute. Just hold on.
Wait a minute.

Saunders: $24.32.

Unpaid.

Well, he died Tuesday,
Mr. Wright.

- He did?
- Yes, sir.

Well, I'm very sorry
to hear that, Maybelline.

But if Mr. Saunders did die on Tuesday,
I can't do anything about that.

He still owes me
for a week's rent.

That money's gonna
have to come from someplace.

What do you plan to do about it?

Well, surely, not from me.

Yes, from you!
What do you mean not from you?

There's money right there
in your hands.

- But this...
- I want my money!

- Give me my money!
- This is my money!

Look out!

Where's my bird? No! No!

Something's wrong.

Take your bird.
Get out of here.

It's an invasion!
A goddamn commie invasion!

McCloud, put that window...

Don't you ever do that
when I'm talking to you.

What do you mean
putting that window up?

Goddamn fag. You know
something, McCloud?

You are nothing but a fag.
A goddamn faggot.

5,432...

5,433...

5,435...

5,439...

Watch this.

Hee, pup pup pup.

Little old gumba,

darling, come here.

Didn't anybody ever tell you that
you had a beautiful "doreemus."

Ow! Mr. Wright!

You...

Turn on the television set.

The television set's not
working.

McCloud, I wanna watch
my program.

I gotta watch Sesame Street.
Now turn it on.

Look! McCloud, on the hood!

Bird doodoo! Bird doodoo!

Stop the car, McCloud!
Stop the car!

Get that thing off of there.

Get it off!
Hurry up, McCloud!

Hurry up!
Wipe it off!

It'll run
right through the paint.

Bird shit on the hood,
God damn it.

I should never have
hired you this morning.

Goddamn birds.

McCloud, are you happy
in your work?

Well, you must think I
have all the money in the world!

You're fired!

I don't give a damn!

Don't tell me...
get away from me.

- Get out of my way!
- Please!

Get out of my way,
you silly bitch.

I'll mow you down!

You yap, yap, yap!

You're so full of bullshit...

How do you do, ladies?

All right, McCloud,
let's move it.

Easy down the chute, McCloud.

Easy down.

McCloud?

McCloud! McCloud!

Don't you ever
lay a hand on my money.

Ah... my money...

McCloud...

KILT news learned

that Shaft is being
flown into Houston

entirely
at Haskell Weeks' expense.

The legendary super-cop
from 'Frisco is due to arrive

at Houston
Intercontinental Airport

only minutes from now.

And we'll have a reporter there
for on-the-scene coverage.

♪ Last thing you do is hear
the jingle in your pocket ♪

♪ When they sock it to you
further down the line ♪

♪ And all that funny money ♪

♪ It won't get you
milk and honey ♪

♪ So ride ride ride
Abraham, ride... ♪

Oh, do you have the number
of the local Audubon Society?

Luke McIntyre at
Houston's Intercontinental Airport.

We are stationed in the
private and very exclusive

executive jet terminal

where Haskell Weeks' personal
jet Silver Eagle Mark IV

has arrived non-stop
from the west coast

with one of California's most
famous detectives on board,

San Francisco super-cop
Frank Shaft.

And our sources tell us
Shaft is here to work

on the recent rash of mysterious
strangulation murders.

Ah.

The crested peacock.

On the peacock,

it is just that nature appears
to have bestowed her treasures

with the greatest profusion.

Its size, imposing manner,

firm tread and noble figure,

the rich crest upon its head,

its matchless plumage

appearing to combine

everything that
can delight the eye.

And contend to place it
in our high esteem.

Here's Shaft now disembarking.

He's a striking figure.

Turtleneck sweater,
custom slacks,

and I can tell you this.

If keeping your cool
and being totally composed

makes for a better detective,

then this Shaft
is one whale of a cop.

I hate to rush you, Lieutenant,

but Captain Crandall

is gonna get
really pissed off at me.

I mean, I was supposed to take
you right over to his office

as soon as you came in.

I don't know how it is
in San Francisco, sir,

but here in Houston, Captain
Crandall is head of homicide.

And he rules that department
with an iron fist

and what he says
really goes, sir.

I don't even think
he likes San Francisco, sir.

Frank.

Tell me about the
third one, Johnson.

That woman who was strangled.

- Frank?
- That's my name. Call me Frank, ok?

Yes, sir.

Do you mind if I use that phone
to call Captain Crandall?

- Tell him where we...
- Tell me about that third one, Johnson.

Ok.

Her name was Daphne Heap, sir.

And she was very well respected
and admired in town.

Her father was
a great benefactor,

gave us a couple hospitals.

And a nice park.

Well, she was quite
a character, sir.

You know, she used to sing the
national anthem at all the ball games.

You know the type, sir?

Even had her
own orchestra and everything.

The unmated Song Thrush.

The importance of song to a bird

can be partly judged
by the amount of time

the bird devotes to it.

However,

one can,
with almost equally good logic,

assume that bird chorales

were first used to release
the nervous tension...

Get out, you nigger bird!

It was a mess, sir.
You should've seen her.

- Molested?
- Molested?

Sexually.
Was she sexually assaulted?

Oh, no.
But she sure was a mess, sir.

Miss Heap was found strangled

at the formal palatial
in River Oaks.

She was sprawled among
the bird of paradise plants

dressed in a red, white
and blue acrylic knit

with flattering wing collar

and matching imitating
bird feather belt

and those
spangling red rhinestone shoes.

Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the Astrodome,

the eighth wonder of the world.

My name is Suzanne Ferris

and I'll be your tour guide for
the next 45 minutes to an hour.

So please feel free to ask
questions at any time.

And if you must leave, like to
go to the bathroom or something,

please notify me.

By the way,
where is the bathroom?

Where is the bathroom?

Well, there are bathrooms
every 50 feet.

But they're not really
bathrooms, you know.

They're... they don't have a tub
or anything like that.

All right, our first stop will
be down in the Dome Skeller.

It's 25 feet underground.

And it's about the only
place you can go

that far underground
in Texas and not strike oil.

The Cassowary...

the body of the Cassowary
is extremely heavy

and its wings are so short

that it has no power
to raise itself

from the ground in flight.

A bony protuberance

forms on the top of the head.

A sort of... helmet.

Like the ostrich, this bird is
not very delicate in its taste.

All right, if
you'll just please follow me,

we'll be going
down there right now.

Oh, sir, do you have change
for this... this half a dollar?

Jesus Christ,
how do you sleep around here?

Well, you get used
to that after a while.

It's usually the heart
guys that cause it.

What guys?

We got a couple
doctors here who do transplants.

They'll sit around and wait
till a stiff dies the right way.

For his heart, you know?

Jesus Christ.

Excuse me. You can
get drinks and things later.

Please stay with the tour.

I'm sure you'll
really like it up here.

Y'all will
get to hear something too.

Like the scoreboard,
even though it's so big,

it's just operated
by this small room

that has a really complicated
computer inside of it.

I mean, the other day talked to a man...

And they turned out some
pretty interesting stuff.

But just think if somebody
really intelligent

got hold of it,
what they could do.

I mean, it could probably
work out some problems.

Oh, look, it's Officer Ledbetter here.

He just likes
my tour a lot, I guess.

And as you
heard in our interview,

Frank Shaft apparently
is in Houston at the expense

at the expense of Haskell Weeks

to lend assistance

to local police
in their investigation

of these unusual
strangulation murders.

Captain Crandall's
gonna be awful angry

when he finds out
how long we're taking.

Look, Johnson...

it is Johnson, isn't it?

Yes, sir.

Frank.

I mean Frank.

Now, we're gonna be
working together, right?

Yes, sir.
Uh, Frank.

Ok, I want to tell you
something about me.

I don't much care how pissed off
any desk cop gets. Got it?

It's working stiffs
like us that get the job done.

Now, I want to go over
to where that last guy lived.

Abraham Wright,
wasn't that his name?

Yes, Frank, sir.

Ok, we're gonna go over there
and look around, Johnson.

Just you and me.

The partridge...

The affection of partridges

for their offspring
is peculiarly interesting.

They lead them out to feed,

the point out to them the
proper places for their food

and assist them in finding it
by scratching the ground

with their feet.

They frequently
sit close together,

covering the young ones
with their wings,

and from this protection,

they are not easily roused.

Watch out for these
big steps because we wouldn't want

anyone to trip and sue
the dome or anything.

There's a lot more to see,
so everybody better hurry

'cause you're gonna
walk nine miles today.

And when we get down there,
there's also a weather station.

It cost a third
of a million dollars.

Ok, everybody, stop here.

We've got to wait
for those laggers.

Last time, we had
ten people get lost...

Ok, Johnson, let's go.

Telephone, sir.

It might be Captain Crandall
wanting to know where we are.

His facial
expression never changes.

His eyes are extraordinary.

They're the most piercing blue
I've ever seen.

Now, there's a killer loose
in the city, Johnson.

Are we gonna get him or are we gonna
go downtown and play politics?

- Hi.
- Hi. May I help you?

I'm interested in a camera

that would allow me to do
some extremely detailed work.

Sure. Sure.

- Show him the Nikon, Gary.
- This one?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Gary, remove the lens cap.

Oh. Would there be a way
of hanging it around my neck?

Grab us a neck strap, Gary.

There you go.

Yeah.

Now, what does
something like that run?

Price for this is, uh...

You'll have to look it up
in the book, Gary.

- Excuse me...
- Gary.

My throat is killing me.

Do you have any aspirin?

- Aspirin?
- I'll get some throat lozenges.

- You look up the price.
- Ok.

Thank you.

You have such a lovely smile.

Oh.

Well, thank you.
You have a nice smile yourself.

You must be a very happy person.

Well, I try to make
the best of things.

Excuse me for a minute.

Is there a manager around here
that I could talk to?

Right back there.

Uh, is there anything
I can help you with?

Well, yes.

Actually, I was thinking
of taking this trip,

and I was thinking
of taking some snapshots.

Right, that's a good idea.

What kind of camera do you have?

Actually, that's it.
You see, I don't have a camera.

You don't have a camera?

Pardon me.

- What?
- Would you be interested in...

- If you've got a minute.
- Just a minute, will you?

Is there a difference?

Yeah. I'll show you.

I'd like to talk to you
for a minute if I could.

Yeah, well, what about?

Well, I've got a...

Just a minute, lady.

Who, me?

Let me see your receipt.

Oh, I'm sorry,
I didn't buy anything.

Well, would you mind
showing me what's in your bag?

Oh, surely.

Uh, shampoo.

- Mm-hmm.
- Shampoo.

Shampoo.

I always buy
three bottles at a time.

Not that it's any cheaper,
but it saves me a trip.

My hair's so oily, I have
to wash it every other day.

Well, you've got beautiful hair.

Yeah, what else is in the bag?

Oh, my brush, Kleenex,
crossword puzzle book.

And Band-Aids, cologne.

Mouthwash.

- More shampoo.
- Yeah.

Not one of
them lasted more than one day.

Every Saturday, poor old Mr. Wright
used to make his rounds,

Every Saturday,
there was a new driver.

I interviewed them.
I ought to know.

Can you describe him?

Down to the mole
on the back of his neck.

He had a mole on his neck?

No! That's just
a figure of speech.

You know, like saying something
is faster than greased lightning?

Yeah, I know. I know.
How tall was he?

Oh, short. Very short.
Like you.

I'm six-one, Millhouse.

You are? I'm five-nine,

and you look shorter than me.

You're standing on the steps.

Oh. So I am.

All right, where were you
when you interviewed him?

Here, right here where we are.

You were up there
and he was down here?

- Is that right?
- I think so.

I'd so those steps
are about eight inches.

So, that means that
if he was six-foot-one,

he would have looked to you
to be 16 inches shorter.

About four-nine.

Right. Under five feet.

Short. Only I think
I was down here.

And... and he was there.

Well, what the hell
would he be doing up here?

Well, he was short, like I said.

And it made him feel better.

All right, he was up here
and you were down there.

- Is that right?
- Right.

And he looked to you
to be about four-foot-nine?

That's right. Short.

Jesus Christ, Millhouse,
if he was four-foot-nine,

and he was standing
on 16 inches of steps,

that'd make him only
three-foot-five.

That's right,
he was short. Like you.

There could be
no more shocking statement

than to say the closest
living relatives

to men are houseflies
or that the butterfly

evolved from a rhinoceros.

But is there any real proof?

Can evolution really prove
birds came from reptiles?

Birds are amazing creatures,

fantastically designed,

each for a different
specific purpose.

What's the matter, honey?
Your leg hurt?

God damn it!
Does yours?

Now, here. Hold this.

Come on, Douglas. Stanford
wants to see the monkeys.

You shut up! I'll go when
I'm damn good and ready.

You hear?

Don't you want to see
the monkeys, Douglas?

If I want to see some monkeys,
I'll go over to nigger town.

Where do you suppose that punk
kid got a camera like that?

Douglas, Stanford wants
to see the monkeys. Come on...

Listen here! You want that pansy
son of yours to see some monkeys?

He's your son too!

You'll never convince me
that pasty-face pansy

came out of Douglas B. Breen.

Now, take him to the car!

And wait till I get there

before I give you something

you wish you hadn't got.

The Brazilian Green Macaw...

...is as
beautiful as it is rare.

It soon becomes familiar with
persons whom it sees frequently.

But it has an aversion
to strangers and sometimes

attacks them with great fury.

Hey, that's a nice looking
camera you got there.

Jap camera, ain't it?

- Yeah, a Nikon.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.

Hey, you hear
what the Jap girl said

when she took off her brassiere?

How'd you like to nip on these?

You get it?

“Nip on these,"
you know. Tits... nip.

Hey, that must have
set you back a pretty penny.

No, this was
a present from my grandfather.

Ah, what's your grandfather?
Some Jew millionaire?

He's, uh...
he's a ship's carpenter

in the Merchant Marines.

So every time he goes to Japan,

he brings me back something
like a lens or a tripod.

Parental behavior when an
intruder disturbs or endangers

the nest or young,

some birds slip away quietly
and unobtrusively.

Some may attack the intruder.

- Take it easy.
- Get over there!

You know what that is?

A poorly rolled cigarette.

It's a marijuana cigarette.
It's dope!

It's dope I picked up

after I saw you drop it
out of your pocket.

You give me that camera and
we'll forget this little matter.

If you don't, it's one to ten.

So take your pick, kid.

Mister, one of us is crazy.

Oh, yeah?

Breen. Narcotics.

Being a murderer's bad enough,

but a thief on top of it?

What do you mean, a thief?

He took one
of Mr. Wright's books.

- Lieutenant!
- Wait a minute, Johnson.

What do you mean he took
one of Mr. Wright's books?

He came here for a book.

He said Mr. Wright
sent him for it.

And little did I know
that the poor old man was dead.

- Frank...
- Which book did he take?

This one right here,

where this empty space is.

- I hate to interrupt...
- What is it?

Well, there's been another one
over at the zoo.

- Strangling?
- Yes, sir. Uh, Frank.

Jesus Christ.

What was the name of the book?

I don't know
the name of the book.

It was given to Mr. Wright
by his two brothers

a long time ago.

Man's first
successful powered flight,

on windswept sand dunes
near Kitty Hawk,

five men and a boy witnessed
the first successful flight

of an engine driven heavier
than air flying machine.

But it was hardly a bird.

About what?
About three-inch diameter?

It doesn't look like he's got
any holes anywhere here.

Is he a friend of yours,
Johnson, this Officer Breen?

No, he's in narcotics.

I'm in traffic.

No, the only
narcotics man I ever met

was my wife's cousin Benny.

He got busted for trafficking.

It's kind of funny.

Isn't it? I mean,
he gets busted for trafficking

and I'm in traffic.

Hey, do you suppose that
the strangler was a hophead?

A what?

You know, a dope addict.

I don't know, Johnson.

- Captain Crandall?
- Yeah, Hanes.

Hines.

- Yeah.
- I just found this over here.

What the hell is it?

I believe it's marijuana.

You think so?

I'll check that.

Mrs. Green, would you
and the kid get out of here

for about a minute?

Yeah.

Matt, what about this?

Is that marijuana?

Well, there's no way, uh...
What do you think?

There's only one way to tell.

- Send it to the lab.
- Oh.

Well, we're
nearly there, Lieutenant.

I mean Frank.

All right, pull over here.

- What?
- Pull over right here.

- Here?
- Pull over. Park.

Ok, Johnson, let's go.

There's no point in them
knowing we're friends.

And how about his head?

Where in the hell's
he been, Johnson?

This is Captain Crandall.

Frank Shaft, San Francisco.

How long's he been dead?

Your plane got in
three and a half hours ago.

What I'd like to know is where
in the hell have you been?

Excuse me, Lieutenant.

Permit me to introduce myself.
I'm Haskell Weeks.

Frank Shaft.

Welcome to Houston,
Lieutenant Shaft.

And allow me to apologize
for Captain Crandall, here.

He's a good police officer,

but I'm afraid he has not, as yet,

mastered the simple art
of common courtesy,

have you, captain?

What the hell are you doing?

I told you fellas to
keep over there behind the line!

Bullshit.

I'll convey your
sentiments to the governor.

The governor and I are very close.

This the way
he was found, Captain?

Captain, aren't you
going to answer the lieutenant?

Look, I'm in charge
of this case, Weeks.

If you want this California
hot shot to work on it,

he'll work my way.
You understand?

Of course that's
the way he was found.

What do you think we
are, stupid?

- Was he on a case?
- I don't know.

I'm in traffic.

Was he on a case?

- Hanes?
- Hines.

- Was he in a case?
- No, sir.

Everybody's on the case
whether off duty or on.

Texas is
a big state, Lieutenant.

And there are still some of us
here who don't realize...

Can't you get
that turtle out of here?

- This his camera?
- Yeah, the film's been taken out.

He probably spotted the killer,

followed him and was making
some pictures, you know?

Fingerprints?

Yeah, I think we'll be able
to get some good ones from that.

Ok, well, let's make sure everything's
covered before we release it to his family.

What about them?

Huh?

Who's gonna
tell his wife and kid?

Ah, I don't know.

What's this stuff on his eye?

That's, uh...
It's bird...

It's... you know...

Bird shit.

Jesus Christ.
Why didn't you cover him up?

That happened before.
It was there when we found him.

They all had it on 'em.

All of 'em?

Every one.

It's the time of year.

- You know my car's completely ruined?
- Shit.

If you have any problem

in our city, Lieutenant,

feel free to call on me.

And if you get a spare moment,
we'll have a cocktail together.

I'm an old friend
of your mayor's.

Are you through yet, Shaft?

I want to know
what kind of bird it was.

God almighty.

Let's go, Norwood.

Wing muscles.

Approximately
50 different wing muscles...

...and muscle slips

have been described as affecting
the wing...

Brewster!

It's me. Hope.

Hi, Brewster.

I've been living
on graham crackers for a week.

- I got your stuff.
- And my peanut butter?

Uh-huh. I almost got
caught stealing the rose hips.

Thank you.

Brewster, what's
the difference between rose hips

and regular vitamin C?

They're organic.

What does "organic" mean?

Hope, you're the one who
works in the health food store,

You're the one
who's supposed to know that.

Mrs. Parker
never tells me anything.

She just yells at me.
Date nut bread?

Yeah, do me a favor,
put 'em on the table.

I gotta finish my exercises.

I got you coconut pecan
cookies with raw sugar

and unbleached flour and...

We're all right.

And, um...

chocolate covered
raisins for energy.

Wow, Brewster.

You're really in great shape.

How many of those can you do?

Hundreds.

Oh, wow.

I gotta do 'em.

I brought my own lunch, too.

Hot dog.

Brewster?

Tell me again
what you're doing here.

What do you think I'm doing?

I know you're doing chin-ups,
but I mean,

what's the rest of it about?

I'm building my wings.

You're making an airplane?

No.

What are you doing?

I'm flying away.

Where are you flying to?

Away.

Wow.

Brewster...

Do you ever think about
anything except flying?

Sure.

You think about girls?

Brewster?

Yeah, all the time.

Oh, wow.

What are you up to?

- Huh?
- 215.

215?

Brewster!

Are you thinking about me or
are you thinking about flying?

Oh! Oh, Brewster!

What are you up to?
Tell me! Please!

What are you up to?

Huh? What are you up to?

253!

Wow.

Wow!

What?! Oh, what?!

Wow, Brewster.

You're really something.

The... the Jackdaw
is easily trained

and made with little difficulty to be
taught to pronounce several words.

Now, listen, tonight...

Listen. I'm gonna
take you over there, right?

- Marty, don't answer it.
- You know I have to, Angie.

Hello.

Johnson, this is Frank Shaft.

How do you do,
Lieutenant Shaft? Uh, Frank.

I didn't interrupt
your dinner, did I?

Hmm? Oh, uh...

No, I...

finished about an hour ago.

Good.

Listen, I want you to take these
bird shit samples

over to the lab.

Right now, sir?
Uh, Frank?

I'd do it myself
but I'm busy right now.

I need somebody
I can trust on this.

Well, I'm, uh...
I'm, uh...

right out the door now.

Johnson, you're a good cop.

Near the sky box,
also the presidential suite,

is the white area

over there to the right
of the Texico sign.

That's where President Johnson
views the game from

when he's here at the stadium.

And if President Nixon
ever attends,

he'll watch
the game from that box.

But after baseball season...

Hi, Louise.

Hi, Brewster.

That girl was here.

Hope? Yep.

I got a whole
new thing of health food.

I did 300 today.

Nothing goes on
between you two, does it?

Me and Hope?

She seems so passionate.

I really didn't notice.

You ever think about
that sort of thing?

What?

Girls. You know.

Sex?

Hey, Louise, I think
you've been talking to Hope.

She just asked me
the same exact thing.

All right, Brewster.

Time to relax.

Come on, we have to stay
on schedule.

Why do you always
ask me about Hope?

Because she's passionate
and she can involve you.

Involve me?
In what?

Sex.

Is Hope really like that?

People like Hope accept
what's been told to them.

They don't think
they can be free.

They don't even
believe they can be free.

Their sex is the closest
thing they have to...

Flying.

Yes. Flying.

Don't they want to fly?

Only at first.

Something happens
to them as they grow.

And they...

They turn
more and more toward earth.

When they experience sex,
they simply settle for it.

And procreate
more of their own kind.

So you must never be tempted,

let anything take your full
concentration away from your work.

I don't think I could
do it without your help.

I'll always be here
to help you, Brewster.

I'll be with you
until you can fly away.

♪ Rock-a-bye, baby ♪

♪ On the tree top ♪

♪ When the wind blows ♪

♪ The cradle will rock ♪

♪ When the bough breaks ♪

♪ The cradle will fall ♪

♪ And down will come baby ♪

♪ Cradle and all ♪

♪ White feather wings ♪

♪ Gracefully gliding ♪

♪ Roll, turn and spin ♪

♪ With you smiling ♪

♪ How the bird sings ♪

♪ When she is flying ♪

♪ And how the bee stings ♪

♪ When he know he's dying ♪

♪ Take what you treasure ♪

♪ Bring it to me ♪

♪ Ooh, and I'll be
your measure ♪

♪ Bring it to me ♪

♪ I'd like to see
Bring it, bring it ♪

♪ What it is that you treasure ♪

♪ How the bird sings ♪

♪ When he's flying ♪

♪ How the bee stings ♪

♪ When he know he's dying ♪

Instead of a prayer at this time,

the widow, Mrs. Green,
has requested I read instead

the departed's favorite poem,
words be glad to live by.

"How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways

I love thee to the breadth and
depth and height of my soul...

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways

I love thee to the breadth and depth
and height my soul can reach..."

I can't put into words
how I personally feel

about this brave officer
who died so nobly.

Bullshit.

Speaking for myself
and my entire staff.

Save it, Weeks.

Green was a bad cop, and that
camera was hot for Christ's sake.

He was a thief as well
as a shake-down artist.

May I remind you that he
died in the line of duty.

Shit, he was on vacation.

"In my old griefs,
and with my childhood's faith

I love thee with..."

I'm having a few friends over for
dinner this evening, Lieutenant,

I thought you might
like to join us.

I'll be busy.

I might remind you that my friends
are not without influence.

Good, then they won't miss me,
will they?

Protective plumage...

prolonged rains
are destructive to bird life

because the insulating value of plumage
deteriorates as it becomes wet.

Bye!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Are you trying to steal my car?

What?

I asked you if you
were trying to steal my car.

Is this your car?

It looks exactly like my car.

Uh, you even have the little
statue in front like mine.

That's the Virgin Mary.

They used to be real popular
a long time ago.

This is a very weird...

there aren't too many orange
and black cars around, you know.

Uh, I apologize. I didn't...

Hey, I don't mind you
trying to steal my car.

And besides it was raining
and everything.

You don't wanna catch a cold,
do you?

No.

You look like the type
that catches cold pretty easily.

I'll take you where
you're gonna go.

Uh, I would like to pick up a few
photos that I'm having printed.

Pictures?

I love pictures.
Are they in color?

Yeah.

Well, let's go.
You're the chauffeur.

McCloud, are you
happy here working?

Courtship is ordinarily
the province of the male,

and he shows his wares
before the female

with an astonishing
assortment of tricks

of varying according
to the species.

He may posture

so as to reveal
his gaudiest nuptial plumage.

Spread his tail and erect
his crest

or inflate brilliantly colored
pouches

and parade, dance, fly
with dizzying acrobatics.

Sing his most
fetching love song.

You were on the tour,
weren't you?

Tour?

Yeah, I liked it.

You kept ducking out all the
time. Did I bore you?

I had to go to the bathroom.

Oh, diarrhea. That's tough.

Hope it wasn't from eating
Mexican food. That's bad.

But that's when I
usually get it.

Have you ever had diarrhea
from eating Mexican food before?

I like your car.

It's not mine, really.

I met this guy at the racetrack.
Automobile races.

You know, stock cars, midgets.

Anyway, I'm a race car driver.

I don't have a car or anything,

but sometimes some of the guys
let me drive for them.

Anyway, one night this guy
offered to take me home.

So I said ok.

Well, instead of taking me home,
he took me to Memorial Park.

I mean, wow, he
tried to rape me.

Anyway, I hit him with a
lug wrench and drove home.

I haven't seen him since so I've
got this neat little Roadrunner.

How long ago was that?

A couple of weeks.

Does he know where you live?

No, maybe that's why he never
came to pick it up.

And it's really sort
of a neat little car.

It's all souped up
and everything. See?

"I love thee freely,
as men strive for right

I love thee purely,
as men turns from praise

I love thee with passion
put to use

In my old griefs,
and with my...“

- Hey!
- What?

Come on, for God's sake.

"I love thee with a love

I seemed to lose
with my lost saints

I love thee with..."

“I choose to love thee
better every day"

Oh, God.

That's fantastic.

That'll be $468.50, sir.

Uh, yeah, you charge that
for me, will ya?

Oh, those are the
biggest snapshots I ever seen.

Yeah.

They sure are pretty, though.
What are they?

These are studies of the yutaxican
diasteraxic arrangements of the

major covetan secondaries of
the phoenicopteridae.

Oh, I thought maybe they were pictures
of your mother and father at the beach.

No, these are photos that I took
at the zoo of various birds.

I was just joking, Brewster.

Huh?

I tell you what, I got this great
dinner planned tonight at my house,

so how'd you like to come over?

Oh, fine. Fine.

- Uh-huh.
- What is it?

Uric acids, amino acids.

Formers of glucose,
traces of saturated almond.

Whoops!

It's bird shit, for Christ's sake.
We all know that.

Is this how you got your rep, Sheriff,
running around collecting shit samples?

What kind of a bird
did it come from?

Well, we couldn't tell you that.

Tell you what it ate,

but I don't think we can determine
what kind of bird it came from.

Besides, it might
not have been a bird.

I know bird shit when I see it.

Now, I suggest we drop
this bird shit shit

and settle down to some
old-fashioned police work.

You go ahead and do your
old-fashioned police work, Captain,

and leave me alone to work
in my own way.

This is my department, Sheriff.

I was under the impression that I
could handle this case my way,

is that true or what?

We don't have to draw such
fine lines, gentlemen,

we're all after the same thing.

Not necessarily.

I doubt it even come
from a bird.

I'll just assume I
did not hear that.

What else could've done it?

A snake, toad maybe.
Maybe even one of those turtles.

Christ, I've heard
of everything. Turtle shit.

We could've told more if you hadn't of
broken the geometric composition, you know?

Besides this is only a small
portion. It's not a full sample.

Lieutenant, perhaps you'd like
to reconsider my invitation for dinner.

I tell ya, maybe a scatologist
could help.

What's a scatologist?

There will be some people there
who can be very useful to one's career.

You know, shit.

Can you get us one?

There's a guy over at the University of
Houston who's supposed to be pretty good.

Should we say
nine o' clock, then?

I really don't have time for
this small talk, Mr. Weeks.

I hope you're not being
hostile, Lieutenant.

May I remind you that it was I
who brought you in on this case.

There's a message here for you.

Read it. Read it. Go on.

Well, there's something
confidential about it.

There's nothing confidential in the
police department. Read it, Hanes.

"Hines."

Your mother says that when
you pick up the olive oil,

you should also get some romaine.

Pollution. Of greater
importance than ever before

is the bird's adaptation
to the new conditions.

Since man, his traps, his guns
and his pollution...

...have come upon the scene,

upsetting all the order of
nature and slowly,

surely, claiming the whole
earth for himself

and his own destruction.

Hi, nice to see you.

There's still no guarantee that
that film came from Green's camera.

But all the pictures
were taken at the zoo.

What the hell does that mean?

Everybody takes pictures at the
goddamn zoo.

They think they got a picture.
They got in these cameras.

Never mind this, where's Hanes?

- “Hines."
- Where is Shaft?

He's in the back in the lab.

- Wendell?
- What is it?

How you doing?

I'm putting it in the soup now.

We got a lot of important fuzz
out here.

You call us when we
can see that thing.

- Well?
- It's in the soup now.

I started racing 'cause of
this guy I was in love with.

His name was Bernard and he
was a really neat artist.

He used to do etchings
on cider bottles.

Boy, was he a genius.

He was beautiful, too.

He had hair out to here.

But his daddy was rich and made him
cut his hair and then go into politics.

Evidently he didn't get too far
though 'cause he's only a secretary.

Anyway, the whole deal made me so mad, I
broke every one of his cider bottles.

Especially the one
he dedicated to me.

When is the goddamn picture
going to be ready?

Wendel's working on the
negatives right now.

Color lab?

I'll see. Is there a
Lieutenant Shaft here?

This your bourbon?

Haskell Weeks here, Lieutenant.

I understand you might
have a lead.

The lab had an electronic
surveillance camera.

We'll have the film
in a few minutes.

Why don't you
come sit over here with me?

No, I gotta be going now,
I think.

Brewster, here I am sitting over
here on the couch,

and inviting you to do,
well, who knows what?

And you just sit there and say,
"Oh, no, I've gotta go home."

Yeah, I do gotta go home,
though.

I think I'll
have a little of that.

Don't you get it?
You're in traffic and...

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought
this was the ladies' room.

- What?
- What the hell is that?

Do you think you can get a decent
description of the man who brought it in?

Well, Lieutenant,

why don't you drop over here
for an after-dinner drink?

There's someone here who'd very
much like to meet you.

It's not my fault this time.

The red light was on,

and the door's supposed to be
closed when the red light is on.

That's the rule.

Thanks!

Christ.

Well, is he coming?

I'm afraid not, Senator.

He's a very dedicated man.

What about them ballplayers?

Curfew, Senator. They have a
very strict... curfew.

Astronauts? Does he know
any astronauts?

Weeks!

Aren't you going to kiss me?

I don't know how.

Brewster, are you a virgin?

Am I a virgin?

I bet you live with your mother,
don't you?

No, I live by myself.

- Where?
- By the Dome, in a room.

I gotta get going. It'll take me
a while to get back.

Oh, look, take my car.

I can get a ride with Nicki.

She works at the Dome, too.

You can meet me there at 4:00,
and I'll get my car then.

How's that for a good plan?

Ok.

That way I'll get
to see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Don't forget 4:00.

Hey, boy!

Where the hell you think
you're going with that car?

Pardon me?

"Pardon me," my ass.

That car belongs to Billy Joe
Goodwill, and that happens to be me.

And I've been chasing you down
for a long time.

I think you've made an error.

There's been a goddamn error
made, all right.

But you and that dingy
girlfriend of yours

are the one that made the error.

And now I'm fixed
to strum your head,

and when I get through with you,

I'm gonna go up to...

What do you have
on this guy, Harry?

Well, his name
was Billy Joe Goodwill.

Goodwill?

There seems to be some
connection with racecar drivers.

Can you tell me when the
guy died? Can you find that out?

The Widow Green
got the full pension.

To hell with the Widow Green,
we got another murder on our hands.

Say, are you with the lab?

He's got a very good reputation.

What kind of reputation?

The Santa Barbara Strangler
surrendered to him.

The Santa Barbara Strangler...
surrendered himself.

He surrendered himself, see?
He must have trusted him.

It's a goddamn waste
of time, you ask me.

It could yield a clue.
I know it seems far-fetched.

What sort of clue are
we going to get from bird shit?

- Well, you can't...
- What happened? Is anybody hurt?

No, everything's all right,
young lady.

We're just having a drill
for the ambulance drivers.

They need a little training,
you know?

You run along.
We take care of things.

- Oh,
- Jesus Christ.

Hey, Brewster.
Right on time! Wow!

Where you going?

I wanna be by myself.
I need some time to think.

Why don't you come with me?

Nah, I think I'll take a walk.

Yeah, I'd really like
to go with you.

Ok.

Dammit.

Come on, right now.

This sample here is

the excrement that we took
off Officer Green's body

while the second one here is the sample we
took off the last victim, Mr. Goodwill.

I think that we can definitely say that
these two samples came from the same bird.

You sure it was a bird?

It wasn't no flying turtle,
was it?

Sarcasm so early in the day,
Captain?

Yes, we can definitely
say it was a bird.

What kind of bird?

Well, we can't
really say about that,

but we can be sure that
it was from a small bird.

Perhaps a pigeon
or a small pheasant

or perhaps a...
perhaps a raven.

Well, the guy's a bird freak.
It's probably a pet.

Yeah? Yeah?

Well, you just look for some kook
with a bird on his shoulder.

We'll be running down a
1970 orange Roadrunner...

It's mango.

..."orange" Roadrunner,
license plate number...

D-U-V-2-2-2.

I want a pickup on that car, and
it's dangerous.

Who might that be, Captain?

Goodwill's car, it's missing.
Yeah.

The killer probably has it,
but he won't keep it for long

so let's get going, Hanes.

- "Hines."
- Watch it there.

Perhaps Captain Crandall
is right.

Perhaps you should not have been brought
in on the case at all, Lieu... Lieutenant.

I'd like to go on record
right now.

I do not...

admire a man who uses others as a
stepping stone to gain his own ends.

What is this?

Come on, Brewster,
you're going to love it.

Calling
all cars, calling all cars.

Be on the lookout for a 1970
mango-orange Roadrunner,

license number D-U-V-2-2-2.

Approach with caution, y'all,
occupant is considered dangerous.

That is all.

All right, Johnson, here it is:

Take Memorial to West Loop
South,

take West Loop South
to South Beach.

I'll ride 59 to Post Oak Road and
I'll meet you on West Loop South.

Now, if you see him, don't get
heroic.

Just hang back and call me.

We don't know what he'll do if
he sees a squad car.

- Got it?
- Yes, sir.

- Frank.
- I mean Frank.

Ok, let's go, Johnson.

Welcome aboard, crew, my name's Gina,
and I'm gonna be your guide right now.

Are there any people on board from out
of state, out of town or foreigners?

Yes, sir, where are you from?

- Mississippi.
- Mississippi.

- Well, how's Mr. Sippi?
- Fine.

Fine, well, good.

Among forms of behavior
which show great stereotypes

are those that have to do
with care of the body surface.

To bathe in water, most species
immerse the head, suddenly raise it

and then begin beating the wing.

Look up there to your right,
there's our famous god, Boomba.

Every time I think of all the
years you've spent with that monster,

I just start shaking.

You didn't deserve that.

I mean, he was a monster.
That was all he was.

You deserve the best. Not
to say that I'm the best.

Now, we're entering to the
land of the Shirley Indian tribe.

See that temple they built?

Well, you'll never guess
what we call it,

the Shirley Temple.

And you know, we're thinking of
painting that Shirley Temple black.

Say, Rob, you haven't seen
a Roadrunner around here

with a racing-type setup, have you?

Uh, no. Is something wrong?

Oh, great,
another parking ticket.

I don't even know
why. They're a waste of paper.

Think we got a line
on the Strangler.

Yeah, license number
D-U-V-2-2-2.

Why, I just gave them...

Ho!

Frank.

2-3-12... 2-3-12
to mobile unit 710.

2-3-12 to mobile unit 710.

Over.

Yeah, what is it, Johnson?

I've got him, sir... Frank.

D-U-V-2-2-2,
right in front of me.

Jesus Christ, Johnson,
I told you to call me.

You were just supposed
to spot him and call me.

Well, that's all I've done, sir. I
spotted them, they haven't spotted me.

Look, they're right
in front of me.

They don't even know
I'm behind them.

I'm incognito. I don't
have my light on or anything.

Where?

I'm on the south loop
going west,

so if you take the Old Spanish Trail
going east, you can head them off.

Ok, keep in sight of a save act.

When you see me, call.

2-3-12 clear.

Clear.

2-3-12 to mobile unit 710.

Yep?

I'm at a stoplight one block south
from Old Spanish Trail, over.

Ok, Jonathan, I see you.

Jesus Christ.

I've got them, Frank.

You all right, Mother,
it's not too hot for you?

You wanna look this way?
You wanna look right at me?

- That's great.
- That's where I'm looking.

Ok, wanna hold it.

Can I ask you
to switch places here?

Could you... That's great.

Should I be standing
next to Hines?

Yeah.

Ok. Hold it, don't move.

Ah!

Police business, ma'am.
Would you follow that car?

Follow that car?
I'd love to.

Are you all right?

My legs are crushed.
I'm trapped in here.

I'll get some help.

That won't be necessary.

Brewster!

Brewster! Brewster!

Brewster! Ham and
buckwheat honey!

Whoo!

Brewster, I'm watching
the ball game.

Oh, oh, Brewster!

Come over to the...
Brewster.

Oh, let's count.

One, two, three, four!

Oh, Brewster, I can't hear you.
Come on!

Brewster, they were bind!

One, two... Come on!

Brewster?

It's hot in here.

Aren't you going to
take off your coat?

Boy, am I sweating.

That was some race, huh?

Those cops really hung in there.

Brewster, I can't hear you!

212!

I can't hear you!

Come on, Brewster,
we were dying!

I meant to get you
buckwheat honey,

but I made a mistake
and got you coconut banana.

That was your first time,
wasn't it?

Mm-hmm.

That means that I'm responsible
for you from now on.

When will I get
to see you again?

Always, forever.

I guess you'll just have to fly
away with me.

I'm scared of aeroplanes.

Last time I flew to Dallas,
I got so scared,

I soiled right through
my new dress.

I can kinda fly.

Real flying.

I have wings...
like a bird.

Wings?
You're kidding.

Mm.

Uh-uh.

I've been working on them
for a long time.

They're almost finished.

You mean you've
got real wings that work?

And that you can really fly
with?

Mm-hmm.

- You're kidding.
- No.

Where are they?

Where I live in the Dome.

You live in the Astrodome?

You're kidding. Where?

In the fallout shelter.

And you've got wings
that really work?

Mm-hmm.

You're kidding.

You keep saying that. Do
you think I'd just make that up?

When can you try them out?

Tomorrow. I can fly tomorrow?

I waited up for you.

It's very late.
You should be in bed.

I'm not tired.

That girl almost got you caught.

I asked you
not to see her again.

I think I'm capable of picking
my own friends.

You only have one friend,
Brewster, me.

I'm the only one
who cares about you.

Why did you lie to me?

I never lied to you.

I'm the only one who
has never lied to you.

It's happened, hasn't it?

It's not like you would say it
would be at all, Louise.

Suzanne is nothing
like you said.

Brewster do you realize
what that means if they work?

Yeah.

We can fly away together.

"Fly away."

Brewster,
you could be a millionaire.

I've got to get you
a good lawyer to protect you.

And you'll need a patent.

Bernard'll know. Remember he's
my old boyfriend.

The one I told you about who
works for the politician.

You could get a limousine
with a chauffeur and everything.

Suzanne, you're talking crazy.

You can get a house on
River Oaks Boulevard.

Brewster, how could you?

Louise, if Suzanne upsets you
that much, maybe you better go.

You told her everything about
yourself, didn't you?

But we have to fly away.

Why? Why can't we stay here?

This is my home.

I love it here.

They'll put me in a cage.

Why?

You know all the people
who died?

You mean the ones who
were strangled?

Mm-hmm.

I'm responsible.

She's coming here, isn't she?

Don't you know what she'll do?

She'll be the death of you.

We could leave now.

We could leave now.

All right, we'll go now.

But it'll take me a
little time to get ready.

So why don't you go ahead and go to the
Dome and begin getting the wings ready.

And I'll meet you there
in the fallout shelter.

Right?

- Suzanne?
- Huh?

I love you,
and Louise was wrong.

♪ I... ♪

♪ Promise not to tell ♪

♪ I... ♪

♪ Promise not to tell ♪

♪ I... ♪

♪ Promise not to tell ♪

♪ I... ♪

♪ Promise not to tell ♪

Hello?

May I speak to Bernard?

Who?

Bernard. He's supposed
to work there.

I think he's a secretary
or something.

Just a moment.

It's for you.

Bernard, you know I
do not approve

of your taking personal phone
calls during business hours.

Well, who is it?

I hope it's an emergency.

Hello?

Bernard, it's me, Suzanne.

Suzanne, Mr. Weeks doesn't like me
getting personal calls at work.

But it's an emergency.

It's an emergency.

I've been dating this
really weird boy.

His name is Brewster...

Brewster McCloud.

Bernard, I think he's crazy.

He thinks he can fly,

and I think he's the one who's
been strangling all those people.

You mean you know
who the strangler is?

Give me that phone.

Young lady?

This is Haskell Weeks.

What?

Can't close this goddamned door.

And you say he says he can fly,
Miss Ferris?

Yeah, that's what he said.

He said he's got wings he
made himself.

He probably swoops down on
people and strangles them.

Mm-hmm.

It looks like he's
deranged also.

Suzanne is very gullible,
Mr. Weeks.

And yet he did confess to the
stranglings, however.

Yes! You don't know how it
scared me being here with a crazy person.

Shall I call the police,
Mr. Weeks?

No.

No, we shall...

shall not call the police.

I am going to bring in this
confessed killer myself.

When I have him safely
in my custody,

and I've had a chance to consider all
the political options of that move,

then we'll notify the police.

Are you about ready, Miss, uh...

All ready.

Hi, Bernard.

The blue footed booby will compete
for the attentions of her intended

by goose stepping
in front of him,

raising her bright blue feet
as high as she can

and thrusting out her chest.

- Wait in the car, Bernard.
- But don't you want me to go with you?

There are times, Bernard,
when a man works best alone.

This is one of those times.

What did he mean by that?

I don't know, but it's
something worth remembering.

- Bernard, I've missed you so.
- Me, too.

Shit.

Stupid. Bernard!

I get so tired
of “Norwood! Norwood!“

- We better not.
- Yeah, what's wrong?

It's not right.

Yes, it is.

I mean, we're not married.

It's all right.

All right, I'll marry you.

When?

Today, just as soon
as Mr. Weeks gets back.

Courtship activities
have the further function

of regulating the timing
of sex readiness,

so that the reproductive
physiology of a pair

may be synchronized.

This is particularly important
in a flying animal

which cannot afford to carry
indefinitely the extra ballast

of greatly enlarged gonads.

Take me.

Uh, maybe we'd better wait until
we're married this evening.

You're not going to
leave me like this.

Well, we better go look for Mr. Weeks.
He's been gone a long time.

Let's not be sleeping
on the job, Norwood.

It's Mr. Weeks!

Is he dead?

I don't know.

Then maybe we better find out.

Ok.

He's dead, all right.

Well, what do you
think we ought to do?

Call the police.

Good idea.

What are you doing?

I'm getting the number
of the police.

Oh, Bernard.

Bernard, everything's so awful.

Kiss me?

♪ I... ♪

♪ Pretended not to see ♪

♪ I... ♪

♪ Pretended not to see ♪

♪ And I... ♪

♪ I promised not to tell ♪

♪ All the stars
look down on your earth ♪

♪ Everyone can see
everything that you do ♪

♪ And all of the heavens
have watched you since birth ♪

♪ and you had your chance
to watch them, too ♪

♪ All of the trees,
all of the flowers ♪

♪ and the birds that fly high
in your wind ♪

♪ Babe, the heavens
and the clouds ♪

♪ Will intervene before you
reach the end ♪

♪ All of the rain that
falls on your earth ♪

♪ Cannot cleanse away
what's been done ♪

♪ And all of the winds
can't blow away the curse ♪

♪ Nature has required
that we could ♪

♪ These are the
unnatural facts ♪

♪ This is the last
of the unnatural acts ♪

♪ When you're sliding ♪

♪ How the birds sing ♪

♪ When she is flying ♪

♪ And how that bee stings ♪

♪ When he knows he is dying ♪

♪ White feather wings ♪

♪ Gracefully gliding ♪

♪ Roll, turn and spin ♪

♪ If you are sliding ♪

♪ How the bird sings ♪

♪ When she is flying ♪

♪ And how the bee stings ♪

♪ When he know he is dying ♪

Man's insatiable mind

goaded on by a handicapped body

will undoubtedly invent
subtleties and refinements

for his present clumsy
progress through the air.

But he will never obtain that
mastery of the air

which is the result of the
development of millions of years

acting on the self-contained mechanism
of a living body!

Fly! Fly! Fly!

Fly!

Ladies and gentlemen,

The Greatest Show on
Earth proudly presents

the cast of Brewster McCloud.

Miss Sally Kellerman,

Mr. Michael Murphy,

yours truly, William Windom,

Shelley Duvall,

John Schuck...

G. Wood,

Corey Fischer,

Jennifer Salt,

Dean Goss,

Bert Remsen,

Angelin Johnson,

William Baldwin,

Rene Auberjonois,

Margaret Hamilton,

Stacy Keach...

...and Mr. Bud Cort!