Brenda Starr (1989) - full transcript
Mike is a struggling artist who draws the "Brenda Starr" strip for the papers. When Brenda comes to life in the strip and sees how unappreciated she is by Mike, she leaves the strip. To get her back, and keep his job, Mike draws himself into the strip. In her world, Brenda Starr is the Ace Reporter for the New York Flash. She is talented, fearless, smart, and a very snappy dresser. The only competition she has is from the rival paper's top reporter Libby Lipscomb. Brenda heads to the Amazon jungle to find a scientist with a secret formula which will create cheap and powerful gas from ordinary water.
MIKE: "Meanwhile, on a ledge six floors up..."
(MIKE SCOFFS)
Good grief.
Brenda, Brenda.
What amazing story are you about to scoop?
And who will fall under your spell?
Timber Woods, the lumber mogul?
Or will it be Cash Wall Street
whose heart is as cold as the gold in his bank,
until he met the irresistible,
the fantastic...
"Dear Mike, Have attached clip of what Brenda should wear.
"Make suit burgundy and gray tweed.
"Peplum, burgundy."
Peplum? What the hell is a peplum?
And little high heels.
On a ledge. Sure.
Twenty million readers dying to know your every move. Not me, Starr.
You're not my type.
I wouldn't even draw you, except I need the dough.
I've had it! Who the heck do you think you are?
For four months, I've put up with your insults.
Night after night and I've had it up to here.
(GASPS) So, bug off, buster!
(GUNS FIRING)
Holy shit!
(SIREN WAILING)
Is that the Mad Mick up there, Chief?
Yeah. Donovan O'Shea. Public enemy number three.
Well...
(CHUCKLING) If you think you're going to keep us way back here...
I do, sweetheart. It's too dangerous.
This is outrageous. The Globe goes to press in an hour.
Too bad. Won't get your little story.
Yeah, well, my editor's going to have something to say about this job.
Get this woman behind the line!
(GUNS FIRING)
Hey, where's Brenda? Anyone seen her?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where is Starr?
(GUNS FIRING)
(CHUCKLING)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Criminy!
Mr. O'Shea, could you open the window?
I'm a reporter.
Thank you.
Hi, I'm Brenda Starr of The Flash.
Pleasure. In there. Okay.
(GUNS FIRING)
Get down.
Oh, my gosh!
In there. In a minute.
(SIREN BLARING) Wait a minute.
Jumpin' Jehosaphats.
Go on.
(BULLETS RICOCHETING)
I want to do a story on you. Your childhood,
your family life, your felonies.
I promise you. You won't be sorry with the result.
(GASPS)
Come on, pal, let's have it.
"Bug off, buster!" I don't know what she meant.
I would go get her, but she's in there and I'm out here!
Oh, my God. This doesn't make any sense at all. She's not even real.
Wait, no. Don't, please. I need this job. Look...
I'm sure I can draw her back in.
Let's just forget we had this conversation.
My kindergarten teacher, Miss Keifer...
Is that K-E-I-F-E-R or K-E-E-F-E-R?
Don't know. It's okay.
(SNIFFLING) It's all right. It's okay.
But that dame hated my guts.
I was not the one throwing water bombs in the lavatory
but I had to sit on the bench at recess.
I figured, from that day on,
if I'm going to take the rap, I might as well deserve it.
You're not a bad guy. You've just had some bad breaks.
You said it, darlin'. Why don't you surrender?
I'll take you in.
They won't shoot a reporter.
Yeah, you're right.
Hey! What are you doing, you big palooka?
(GRUNTS) I'm comin' out with the broad.
Try and stop me and I kill her.
Don't worry about me, boys. Shoot!
(GUNS FIRING)
Hold your fire!
It's Brenda! Lookit!
Come on, beauty, out you go.
Get a shot of that. Come on! Get 'em. Come on.
I could just kill her.
O'SHEA: Oh, no. We're goin' up on the roof!
Top of the world, ma.
Watch it, Neilson!
Hey, stupid! Say your prayers!
(GRUNTING)
Mr. O'Shea, I thought we were friends.
Yeah? Well, you were wrong.
(GROANS)
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
(CRASHING)
(ALL EXCLAIM)
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
She's alive! Starr's still alive!
Aren't we lucky!
OFFICER 1: Get back here! OFFICER 2: Get back.
Stay back there.
You've got to save her, boys.
That was the bravest thing I've ever seen.
Right, Chief.
BRENDA: (ECHOING) What's that? What's that?
NURSE: (ECHOING) It was here this morning. It was here this morning.
Who sent it to me?
There was no note.
There was no note.
(SCREAMING)
(GASPING)
Hey, Brenda.
Brenda.
Hi, Hank.
PESKY: How you doing, kid? (CHUCKLES) Fine.
Ta-da! (LAUGHING) Oh, Pesky.
Flowers! You're sweet.
Oh, boy!
You know, Brenda, you're an honest to gosh hero.
The police department's giving you a medal.
Yeah, even our sweetheart of an editor's singing your praises.
Did my nabbing O'Shea do anything for circulation?
Absolutely. Sure.
Come on, you guys.
All right. Livright cut our salaries.
If we don't do something quick, The Flash is kaput.
You're kidding. That does it.
Hey, hey, hey, Brenda, you better lie down.
When my friends are in danger of losing their jobs?
Well, maybe we ought to talk to the doc about this, you know?
(CAMERA CLICKING) ARCHIE: Got it.
Get that right over to the paper, Archie.
Oh, Libby Lips, how dare you?
I knew it.
I told my editor you were just faking it,
so you could really milk the O'Shea story.
Now, I've got proof.
You're just sore 'cause Brenda got the O'Shea story
while you were sitting on your claws.
(LAUGHING)
Little man.
I don't care about the O'Shea story. Small potatoes.
I'm working on something so big, it will really clean your clock, Starr.
Put you right out of the newspaper game.
All you poor saps. So...
Ta-ta!
(SNIFFS)
(SCREAMS)
Wow! Never tangle with a redhead.
(SIGHS) Now! Let me find something nifty to wear.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Hold it, sonny. Only staff allowed in there.
My name's Mike Randall. I'm looking for Brenda Starr.
Don't you read the papers, huh?
(WHISPERING) Brenda at the hospital.
MAN 1: Going up.
MAN 2: Lobby.
Excuse me. Thank you.
Oh, boy, my job.
(WHISTLES) St. James Hospital. Right away, please.
TAXI DRIVER: Funny, I just come from there.
(ALL APPLAUDING)
You guys.
You really fell for that guy, didn't you?
I did what anyone would've done, Gus. I used my head.
(GUS LAUGHING)
Thanks. Thank you. MAN: Good going, Brenda.
Thanks. I'm so glad you weren't hurt, Brenda.
Thank you.
(GRUNTS) Thanks, guys.
(SIGHING)
Now for Livright.
(EXCLAIMS)
(WHISTLING)
You cut our salaries?
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
I quit.
Did you hear what I said? I quit.
Let me show you an amazing film.
Arrived at newspapers in five cities.
London, Paris, New York, Moscow, Berlin.
Francis, did you hear what I said?
(SHUSHING) Brenda. Watch, watch!
Three. Two. One.
Ladies and gentlemen.
You will scarcely believe what you are about to see
(NATIVES CHATTERING) served in this tiny little pill.
This has unlimited power.
More power than the wind, the rain...
(NATIVES CHATTERING)
...than all your Gods.
Using an ordinary stick here,
I'm going to have the pilot...
(NATIVES EXCLAIMING) NATIVE: Stick! Stick!
...put the stick into the gasoline tank of the plane.
(EXCLAIMS) It is dry!
(NATIVES MURMURING)
Tank is empty.
(SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE)
I need no gasoline to make this great bird fly.
Fly!
(NATIVES MURMURING)
All I need is water.
You will be amazed to see how powerful.
Now.
(NATIVES MURMURING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Come, come, come, come.
(NATIVES CHATTERING)
(SHOUTING)
(NATIVES CHEERING)
(GOAT BLEATING) Go back, go back.
(HENS CLUCKING)
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
He's saying, "Goodbye."
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(ALL CHEERING)
Well, goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Holy cow! What was that?
LIVRIGHT: Just the biggest story since the atomic bomb.
(PROJECTOR SWITCH CLICKING)
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
And I hear Libby's about to crack it at The Globe.
Don't play games with me, Francis.
All right. Rumors are this.
There's a scientist and an ex-Nazi named Kreutzer.
He's invented a cheap fuel powerful enough to send man into space.
Come on, space?
And the country that gets to him first...
The reporter that gets to him first.
Let me get a look at this guy.
I'll find him.
MIKE: I'd like a BLT on toast,
fries and black coffee, please. Hold the mayo.
WOMAN: A BLT crispy with fries. You hold the mayo. I'll get the java.
MAN: On the grill, toots.
(EXCLAIMS)
I see big trouble.
(PESKY WHISTLING) REPORTER: Hey! Copy.
Copy? So, kid, how's it going?
No luck. I called the FBI, RAF, Defense Department,
Pentagon and every embassy in Washington. Nothing.
Honey, that jungle footage could've been from anywhere.
Africa, South America, Malaysia.
This is just hot air from Libby.
The Globe doesn't know any more than we do.
(EXCLAIMING)
REPORTER: Copy.
Susie? Get me the White House, please.
CONDUCTOR: All aboard!
(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
(PIANO PLAYING)
Why don't you take the bass for a while, little lady,
and I'll play the treble.
You see, my problem is,
I'm halfway between the breakup of the OSS
and the start of this new Central Intelligence Agency.
It's pretty lean around here now on the information front.
I was kind of hoping that you might have something for me.
I'm afraid not, Mr. President.
But I don't give up easily.
(CHUCKLING)
That was wonderful, Mr. President.
Well, thank you very much.
Sir, are you worried about this rocket fuel?
Well, Brenda, I believe I'd be a suck-egg mule if I wasn't.
We have to think about the future.
Man on the moon and space stations and...
Well, let me show you a little something I learned
when I was in the Boy Scouts of America.
Come over here, Brenda.
Very interesting.
Imagine what a space station up near the sun
could do to the cities down here on Earth
with the same magnifying effect.
Explode them!
You got it, little lady. If the Ruskies get their hands
on that miracle fuel,
why, it would put the free world up the creek without a paddle.
(EXCLAIMS)
The story's dynamite, but even the President doesn't know.
(SHUSHING) Just give me your coat. Come on.
Here.
Hello.
Hello. I'm Basil St. John.
Would you like to sit down?
Have we met before?
I don't know.
Have we?
I'm from Brazil.
I understand you're looking for Gerhardt Kreutzer.
Do you know Professor Kreutzer?
Professor Kreutzer is in hiding,
in a small village in the interior of my country.
And he's not well. Time is short.
He wants to tell his story to someone.
And I want to be sure that his formula falls into the right hands.
There's no reporter in the world
who could tell his story better, Brenda Starr.
Hmm. Lucky stiff.
(SHUSHING)
Now if you go down, it will be very dangerous.
Now that I've met you, I'm
no longer certain that I want you to take that risk.
You'd have to put a stake through my heart to keep me from going.
(EXCLAIMS) Not a bad idea.
BASIL: Here.
I'll write down the name of the village.
You're to be at the mouth of the Amazon.
BASIL: At the Hotel Paraiso, in Belem.
On the thirteenth. That's next Friday.
Captain of the river steamer will meet you and take you to Kreutzer.
EDITOR: Don't have the name of the town.
LIBBY: Who cares? I've got Starr's number.
The question is, who are these people we are listening to?
BRENDA: You can't imagine what this means to me.
All my friends' jobs are at stake.
And who are they listening to?
I must go now.
I never stay anywhere very long.
On the other hand,
you never know when I'll turn up.
Goodbye, Basil.
And who is Basil?
(STATIC BUZZING)
I don't get any of this.
It doesn't matter.
This reporter, Brenda Starr,
is obviously the one who will find Kreutzer for us.
Da. Very good, very good.
Excuse me, senorita.
Can you see? Are we to San Juan yet?
All I can see is clouds.
I am so anxious to be home.
You're Puerto Rican?
Da.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
LIVRIGHT: Hey!
Starr disappeared. Never made it to Belem.
Belem? Belem? Where's Belem?
(GASPS)
Ah, the so called reporter is awake.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
Tell me, where is Professor Kreutzer?
Forget it, sister.
I'll be back.
Now...
She doesn't look like she wears this much make-up.
How bourgeois!
What could it all be for?
(COUGHING)
(GROANS)
LUBA: Catch her. VLADIMIR: Catch her.
LUBA: Help me. VLADIMIR: Help me.
No, me!
No, me!
That's stupid, me!
(EXCLAIMS)
LUBA: Catch her! Help me!
(GRUNTING) Put me to ground!
Put me to ground!
Excuse me. Excuse me, where am I?
Puerto Rico. Thank you.
Feet on ground!
Pull! Idiot!
Oh, would you pull me up! Pull!
(YELLS IN RUSSIAN)
Catch her!
(YELLS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
I get you!
I don't got you.
I get you now!
(GRUNTING)
Too late, too late! Dumb-bell!
You are dumb-bells. It's too late. Use door.
Ow! Ow!
Blast it! My favorite skirt!
LUBA: Where did she go? But she was on the roof.
Oh, I don't know. I go this way, you go that way.
VLADIMIR: Yes.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Hello.
Hello. Hello.
(SIGHS)
LUBA: Mischa! Boris!
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
Follow.
(MAN SHOUTING)
Waiter!
Waiter, por favor. Waiter!
Is there anything else you need, senorita?
Yes, a car.
Where's the airport?
It's back that way, senorita.
Thank you.
(HORN HONKING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(LUBA YELLING)
(GRUNTING)
Hello. Hello.
(ENGINE FALTERING)
(HOOFBEATS APPROACHING)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
Basil!
Brenda!
Take us to the Amazon.
The horses cost extra.
BASIL: It's dark and it's dangerous. And it's full of mystery.
All my life, I've wanted to go up the Amazon.
Yes, you would.
When all the other girls were playing with their paper dolls.
So you were the one who sent me this.
My family cultivates them.
What a lovely hobby.
Not a hobby, I fear. A necessity.
Necessity? Why?
It's...
It's nothing.
Basil, you can tell me.
An affliction.
A curse on the family bloodline.
Without the serum of the black orchid,
members of my family go insane before their time.
Nobody's perfect.
(SINGING)
Oh, good evening, Mr. St. John.
We have your table ready. Would you follow me, please?
♪ Does he notice me? Does he even know I'm there?
♪ He might be shy
♪ But I bet you as a lover he's the best
♪ And it makes me wanna say
♪ Ay caramba Donde mora?
♪ Come, let's have a fiesta, mi amor
♪ Ay caramba Donde mora?
♪ Come, let's have a fiesta, my love
Good grief.
British, German, French Secret Service.
CIA.
What do they want?
You.
Oh.
♪ You'd be mine
I'm very sorry, sir, but I'm afraid we're full.
BRENDA: How did they all know I'd be here?
My compliments.
(EXCLAIMS)
You slithery, slimy snake.
(EXCLAIMS)
Thank you.
♪ Ay caramba Donde mora?
♪ Come, let's have a fiesta, my love...
Excuse me. You don't know me,
but I've really gotta talk about...
I sure do, you rat!
And I made it perfectly clear
that I want nothing further to do with you. So buzz off!
Shall we dance?
I'd love to. Thank you.
Wait! You don't understand!
Please, listen to me. I've just gotta get this...
Go away now.
I'll lose my job if you don't come back.
Tough!
I'm trying to put myself through architecture school.
He ridiculed my work. What?
My clothing, even my hair. No.
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry? After months of abuse? No, thank you!
Look, I just want to apologize.
Young man, it's time for you to leave.
Basil, I'll handle this. No scene, please.
♪ Ay caramba
No scene.
Brenda.
Gentlemen.
(WISHING GOOD NIGHT IN FRENCH)
(WISHING GOOD NIGHT IN GERMAN)
Cheerio.
That young man,
was he an old boyfriend?
No.
Just someone I used to work with.
Are you coming up the river with me tomorrow?
If I don't?
Should I be afraid?
Absolutely.
Where I come from, the people believe in a giant water snake.
The Cobra Grande.
Oh, really?
It emerges from the river at night,
rises up and swallows whole canoes
and steals the souls of their occupants.
Is that all?
They say that staring into its eye,
a person can become encantado.
(ROOSTER CROWING)
(GASPS)
Don't yell! Please. It's just me.
Hi, hi.
Hi. Hi.
Oh, no! Oh! Okay.
They were waiting for you.
So, when I came in through the window, they...
And so I...
(SHIVERS)
What's wrong? Nothing.
That one was behind the curtain, so I grabbed this.
It was a flower pot. And then the other one...
Are you okay?
I've never done anything like this before.
It scared the shit out of me!
Do you always talk like that? Like what?
With such dirty words.
I think I need a hot bath.
BRENDA: I'm having a terrible problem
with some of those purses you're having me wear.
They're just too small.
I have to use teeny-weeny notebooks or they won't fit.
(SNORING)
Half the time I have to memorize what people say.
I want my stories accurate.
Front desk?
Hello. Could you remove two bodies from the third floor hall?
Thank you.
A reporter can get sued if she doesn't have the proper notes.
Brenda, I just draw you. I didn't create you.
A woman did.
Tell her I don't mind the wardrobe.
Of course, logically I couldn't afford it on what I earn.
But I understand that the public expects me to look chic.
And I wouldn't want to let them down.
Thank you.
What?
Were you wounded in the war? Huh?
What is that? What?
What is it?
It's my belly-button. Everybody has one!
Oh. Oh.
You remember when you went undercover in that belly dancer's club
and you had to wear that little outfit?
Well, the censors wouldn't allow me to...
You see, you can't show a lady's belly-button in the papers,
so I had to erase it.
If you think I'm coming back to the comics
to be drawn by a pervert, you are nuts!
Get out! I won't have it!
Get out!
(IN INDIAN ACCENT) I am come from the Captain to take you to the boat.
Oh. How wonderful. Just a minute.
You, out!
Brenda, where are you going?
Hey, pal. What's the story?
Men follow me. Goodness gracious, we must hurry!
I'm ready.
You check outside the bathroom window. Right.
You check out the hallway on your way out.
BOTH: Right. And I'll pick out a handbag.
Right. Right.
(GASPS)
MIKE: Brenda!
Shit!
Look!
(GROANING)
MIKE: Brenda!
(VLADIMIR GROANS)
Put head higher!
Baldness is sliding me.
You're killing me.
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
Hello. Would you take us to the docks, please?
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
We're in a really big hurry. Thanks a lot.
(MIKE YELLING)
(GRUNTS)
(HONKING)
Watch it, people!
I'm not coming back, you creep!
Be reasonable. Get off my taxi!
(GRUNTING)
Can't play in the big time, can you?
MIKE: Hey! Hey! Watch it, watch it!
(HONKING)
(MIKE EXCLAIMING)
(GRUNTS)
He's looking quite a-okay.
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
(EXCLAIMING)
I told you to get off my taxi.
Wilkommen, Miss Starr.
Thank you.
Let's get this boat on the way!
Capitan Borg, at your service. Captain.
I have prepared lunch for you, yeah?
Brenda!
MAN: The boat on the way now...
Bye!
(EXCLAIMING)
I shoot him. Wait!
He's my photographer.
Where's his camera?
He
didn't want to get it wet.
(EXHALES)
(EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)
(YELLING) Witch!
Hmm.
Hello. How are you today?
Excuse me.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Do you speak English, pal?
(SPEAKING SLOWLY) I want you
to follow that boat with me.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Well, it take maybe, one,
two days to get the plane ready, okay?
(SIGHING)
How much? Twenty bucks?
A hundred.
(SIGHING)
All right, 150
and my garter belt.
Your garter belt?
You got a deal, baby.
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
I hope your photographer is all right.
He's just seasick.
Seasick?
On the Amazon?
(CHUCKLES) Uh, he has a very sensitive tummy.
Are you all right?
I think what my photographer has must be catching.
Would you please excuse me?
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
(BLOWS)
(DOOR OPENING)
Jeepers! Miss Starr.
I am Captain Borg.
I knew there was something funny about that other guy.
They torture me, but I do not tell them your destination.
How brave!
They are vile mercenaries.
(BRENDA SCREAMS)
Oh, let go of me, you little louse!
Ah! The she-wolf, eh?
(MAN SCREAMING)
Do you have any Dramamine?
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Whatever you're going to try, forget it. I'm not talking.
We shall see.
Karl!
(MAN LAUGHING)
(MEN CHATTERING)
Okay?
(MEN SPEAKING GERMAN)
(GURGLING)
(MAN LAUGHS) Oh, no!
Piranha. Drawn by the blood.
They strip the whole cow to the bone in 2.2 minutes.
Brenda, talk!
Never!
The survival of the free world depends upon it!
What? This isn't happening.
Please, God, this can't be happening!
(MEN CHATTERING)
Get him ready.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
Are you nuts?
Wait, don't rush into this, please.
You're gonna do something we're all gonna regret.
No more talking! There is no...
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
You're crazy!
(GRUNTING) Karl! Come. Save me!
Karl! Save me.
Have you no pity?
(SHOUTING)
(BUBBLING)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Good work. Huh?
Now's our chance.
(MEN CHATTERING)
This way.
(MIKE YELLING)
(GASPING)
(GUNS FIRING)
Stupid fools! You let them escape.
(GASPING)
(THUNDER CLAPPING)
MIKE: What the hell's gonna happen now...
BRENDA: Mike! Are you alive?
Get me out of here. Okay. Okay.
Don't worry about it! I'll do something!
(GRUNTING) Brenda! Brenda! Something.
What is it? Golly! Stop panicking.
Golly? While I'm in this shithole?
(HISSING)
(GASPING)
MIKE: Brenda.
(GRUNTING) Brenda.
Now, this is what I'm going to want you to do.
Grab the toe and heel, they're reinforced.
Then start counting to ten and climb. Here.
(GRUNTING)
(HISSING) So, listen.
It's really hard to find taupe-colored nylons,
so try not to get a run in them.
(GRUNTING)
Rats.
Thanks.
Brenda?
Hmm.
You awake?
Uh-huh.
Do you really like that one-eyed guy?
Mmm-hmm.
He's brave,
handsome.
Oily.
It's really sad.
To be so dashing and yet...
He needs the serum of the black orchid
or he'll go insane before his time.
He actually said that?
What a bullshit artist!
I suppose you went to bed with him.
You're really crude, you know that?
Say "shit." What?
Just say it. Be good for you. Loosen you up a little.
I'm going to sleep. Look.
I'll say something for you. What do you want me to say?
Jeepers. You're kidding.
You can do it. That word's harder.
Okay. Forget it.
No, no. We will both say our words at the same time, all right?
One, two, three.
I knew you couldn't.
(MIKE LAUGHING)
(ROOSTER CROWING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(HORNS HONKING)
I'm Carlos. Your servant
and slave.
I'm Brenda Starr.
What's your name?
His wife.
She's the owner of this carnival.
Oh! A female carnival owner. How unusual!
I work for The Flash, a New York newspaper.
I would love to do a story on you and your lovely family.
(SNORING)
(HENS CLUCKING)
Bravo! Yes!
(WHIP CRACKING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
I have been looking all over for you.
I've been watching the capoeira.
We've got to get to Porto Verde.
Well, what's in Porto Verde? That's where Kreutzer is.
Okay, I'll be back.
Maybe she perform with us? Too skinny.
No, she's really hot stuff.
With her, maybe we hit big time.
Esperanza. Yes?
These clothes are really shot.
Do you think I could borrow something?
Oh, sure. Thank you.
Is perfecto, yes?
Well, it's not really me.
(KNIFE UNSHEATHING)
Come.
Excuse me. Can you, uh... Do you...
Do you know where I can get a boat?
Hey, a boat. I need to leave.
What are you doing?
Where are you taking me?
Up the high wire. What?
ESPERANZA: Put your hand in. Come on.
Hello!
(WHIMPERING)
Good. Take her up!
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(GRUNTING)
Nothing for you to worry about.
Are you ready?
Are you crazy?
No, don't worry. If you fall, they are gonna catch you.
Oh, no, no! No! No! Please, just walk right up there.
That's it, just walk right... Mike!
(STEAM WHISTLE BLOWING)
BRENDA: No! Mike!
Mike? Who's Mike?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
I'm coming! I'm coming!
That's good girl, just walk right...
I'm coming!
(CARLOS SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Catch her!
Mike!
Get them, men, quick.
Get out of here! You're ruining my act.
Brenda, what are you doing? Let him go!
Let him go, Brenda! Oh.
(EXCLAIMING)
(GRUNTING)
Oh, that's pretty good how I do that.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(EXCLAIMING)
What do we do now? Just hang on to me.
Hurry.
Look out!
Come back!
(EXCLAIMS)
Thanks.
Can you guys give us a hand?
Catch her!
And a leg? Yeah, sure.
Thanks. Bye. Thanks, guys.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Get them! You can do it!
Go get Brenda Starr!
(BOTH COOING)
(LAUGHING)
Come here.
Hey, keep your eyes on the road, Buster.
Brenda, I really love that little outfit. Oh, no!
What's this?
(EXCLAIMING) We're almost there.
That's great, but why don't we... Mike!
We have really got to get going. I'm on a story, okay?
You're right. Okay.
Oh, goodness! I can't arrive in this.
Hello, miss. May I have a word with you?
I'm a reporter from New York City
and I'm here in your country...
Starr, we're not going anywhere!
Oh, shit!
Well, how do I look?
Beautiful.
Basil! How did you know we...
I was here?
I have my ways.
Can I canoe you?
BRENDA: Oh, Basil, you think of everything.
Mmm, chicken and little bits of watercress.
Anyone hungry? Basil?
BASIL: Just wine.
Mike?
MIKE: No, thanks.
Salmon!
All right, I'll have one.
(GROWLING)
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
Do you speak English?
No, over there. No, over there.
Thank you.
It's okay. It's okay.
Nice legs.
Mike, are you coming?
(PARROT SQUAWKING)
I'm looking for Professor Kreutzer.
Thank you.
Just give me a minute to freshen up.
Excuse me.
(FLIES BUZZING)
(SIGHS)
(PARROT CHATTERING)
Pinga.
May I buy you a drink?
Pinga.
What would you like?
I'll have the same.
(PARROT SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(PARROT REPEATING)
(HICCUPS)
All right?
Mike! Is he all right?
He'll be fine. Usually takes about seven minutes.
Professor Kreutzer?
Professor? You're not dead, are you?
You don't think I came all the way out here and he passed on?
(GROANING)
Not quite yet.
(GROANING)
I'm Brenda Starr of The Flash.
The formula?
(GROANING)
Yes?
Yes?
Yes? Yes?
Oh, no!
That poor man. He didn't live to tell his story.
To tell me his story.
Not quite.
Do you realize what this means to civilization?
The formula is lost.
The Flash is finished.
My friends are out of work!
Blast! Darn! Heck! Shoot!
And look at that poor man.
Not even a relative to share his last moments on earth.
Sad.
Oh, my gosh!
What is it?
Oh, my gosh! Thank you.
We have 'em. All we have to do is have them analyzed.
Oh, what a story.
(DOOR OPENING)
(WHISTLES)
(PARROT CHATTERING)
(SNORING)
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Is there a telephono?
A telephone?
Yes, Guadalupe. 20 kilometers.
Uh, can we get a car?
Car? Yes. Petrol? No.
Well, I guess it's back to the canoe. Gracias.
Come on, Mike, let's go.
Thank you.
PARROT: Bye-bye.
Operator, extremely long distance. Berlin.
(SPEAKING IN GERMAN)
Say something, anything.
As if the future of the free world were not in my compact.
I'd love to take you to my home.
What?
There's a telephone there.
Do you live near here?
97 kilometers into the deepest, darkest interior.
Back to the canoe. And Guadalupe.
Mike! Hurry up!
Mike!
Look, we've got to straighten this out.
Don't be a dope! We've got the formula!
Good. Listen, Long John Silver,
there's something between Brenda and me.
Would you pass me an oar, please?
We didn't mean to get involved,
but we were up on this trapeze.
Come on, Brenda. Please, tell him.
Libby Lips!
Look!
We'll have to pull her onboard.
Oh, all right.
Quick!
(PANTING)
Listen here, Libby.
If you think you're horning in on this story you've got another thought coming.
Don't I know you?
Hands off him!
You see what I mean?
Thank you so much.
And him. Take it easy, Starr.
The men are yours, the story is yours.
Would you just loan me a mirror?
You know, I really do look a mess. No!
Give me that! No!
Give it! No!
Give it to me.
(STEAM WHISTLE BLOWING)
Oh, shit! The Russians!
LUBA: It's her, Brenda Starr! We found her!
(SCREAMING)
LUBA: Get her!
Get her!
Mike!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Brenda!
Give to me!
Over here.
LUBA: Brenda Starr. Her purse!
Get purse!
I'm clear! I'm clear! I got it! I got it!
Yoo-hoo! Give me!
Give to me!
(LAUGHING)
Well done.
Where's Starr?
Your shoelaces are undone.
Where's Starr?
(SCREAMING)
LUBA: No! Give me purse! Give me purse!
Right.
Brenda, that was magnificent.
Wait a minute!
Knock it off, Mike! This is no time for a scene.
Don't be childish.
MIKE: What are you doing?
It's fuel. It burns.
(SCREAMING)
BRENDA: Let's go. Well, what about Lips?
She'll survive. She always does.
(SCREAMING)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Jose!
This time, I want more than your garter belt.
I don't mind.
Take me! Take me!
Take me! Take me on plane!
LUBA: Why he's going so high? Don't go so high! Don't go so high, do you hear me?
(SCREAMING)
LUBA: Catch 'em! VLADIMIR: Help me!
LIBBY: Oh, Jose!
(LAUGHING) Jose!
(LIBBY MOANING)
LIBBY: Ole!
As you can see, the petrol tank is absolutely dry.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
(BASIL SPEAKING SPANISH)
(ALL SPEAKING SPANISH)
Pure water.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
BASIL: The vial.
With this magic formula, I shall make the car fly!
(CROWD GASPING)
BASIL: Like the wind!
Vroom!
Vroom!
Brenda, you can't play us off anymore. Choose.
Him or me? Now?
How dare you ask me to choose.
And you're going back to your world, aren't you?
Brenda?
BRENDA: Mike? I'm coming. I'm coming.
Stand clear at the back.
(BOTH SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Well done.
What a lovely place you have.
Rather difficult to keep it up in the jungle.
What would you like? A cool drink? Hot bath?
The phone. I have to call The Flash. Of course.
Hand them over, Starr.
Libby Lips!
Who were you expecting?
You hand it over, Libby!
Shit! That was easy!
I just poked my finger in her back!
(LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
Mike, are you all right?
Give me that!
(LAUGHS)
You didn't compromise yourself, did you, Libby?
Me? Never.
Scout's honor.
Let's tie them up, tiger!
Okay.
(LAUGHING)
Starr, come back with me?
Really? Will you?
LIBBY: Jose!
(GUN FIRING)
(LIBBY LAUGHING)
Okay, big shot. Cut the funny stuff!
LIBBY: Oh, I can see it all, now.
Starr bungles scoop, The Flash crashes
and little old Libby here is a national hero.
Ta-ta!
Shall we?
Gee, Basil, if you could just move this way.
Mike, that way.
(GRUNTING)
Heck!
You're leaving tonight? For where?
The Andes. A friend is in trouble.
Sounds like there's a story in it.
I almost forgot.
The last issue of The Flash hit the stands today.
I'm unemployed.
Would you go to work at The Globe?
Never!
I'm going into the real world.
Oh?
I need a change.
Will you be happy there?
What about your friends?
I let them all down. You could never let me down.
And you never know when I'll turn up.
What are you doing? Hold on.
No way!
What? Look.
Holy cow!
Your miracle fuel's a fraud!
What?
Well, I was a chemistry major before I switched to architecture.
This is just acetone, I'd guess,
mixed with some concoction for model rockets.
Powerful but... Deadly!
Yeah!
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh!
You know what I've got?
What?
A scoop!
LIBBY: It's a lie. It is a lie!
Starr is pulling a fast one!
You have 10 seconds to get out of my office.
And 20 seconds to get out of the building!
Wait a minute. Scram!
You can't do this!
Out!
(HUFFS)
I'll get you back for this!
(HUFFS)
I could just kill her.
Here you go, Benny.
Thanks, kid.
Holy smokes! It's Brenda! Hey, kid!
(ALL CHEERING)
WOMAN: Champagne all around!
MAN: Nice work, Brenda.
Here's to the star.
Thanks, boss.
All right, back to work.
(ALL GROANING)
Great job, Starr. Thank you.
Oh, I'm so glad to be back. I'm proud of you, Brenda.
You're not coming with me, are you?
Come here.
At least I'll be able to see you when I draw you every day.
Only if you're nice.
You know I fell in love with you.
Oh, my God. You're getting those little stars in your eyes.
That's me, in my world.
BRENDA: What's that?
That's you, in your world.
Put your arms around me?
It's gonna be great, Brenda.
We'll get to see each other every day.
There.
Thanks, Mike. Until tomorrow.
(MIKE SCOFFS)
Good grief.
Brenda, Brenda.
What amazing story are you about to scoop?
And who will fall under your spell?
Timber Woods, the lumber mogul?
Or will it be Cash Wall Street
whose heart is as cold as the gold in his bank,
until he met the irresistible,
the fantastic...
"Dear Mike, Have attached clip of what Brenda should wear.
"Make suit burgundy and gray tweed.
"Peplum, burgundy."
Peplum? What the hell is a peplum?
And little high heels.
On a ledge. Sure.
Twenty million readers dying to know your every move. Not me, Starr.
You're not my type.
I wouldn't even draw you, except I need the dough.
I've had it! Who the heck do you think you are?
For four months, I've put up with your insults.
Night after night and I've had it up to here.
(GASPS) So, bug off, buster!
(GUNS FIRING)
Holy shit!
(SIREN WAILING)
Is that the Mad Mick up there, Chief?
Yeah. Donovan O'Shea. Public enemy number three.
Well...
(CHUCKLING) If you think you're going to keep us way back here...
I do, sweetheart. It's too dangerous.
This is outrageous. The Globe goes to press in an hour.
Too bad. Won't get your little story.
Yeah, well, my editor's going to have something to say about this job.
Get this woman behind the line!
(GUNS FIRING)
Hey, where's Brenda? Anyone seen her?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where is Starr?
(GUNS FIRING)
(CHUCKLING)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Criminy!
Mr. O'Shea, could you open the window?
I'm a reporter.
Thank you.
Hi, I'm Brenda Starr of The Flash.
Pleasure. In there. Okay.
(GUNS FIRING)
Get down.
Oh, my gosh!
In there. In a minute.
(SIREN BLARING) Wait a minute.
Jumpin' Jehosaphats.
Go on.
(BULLETS RICOCHETING)
I want to do a story on you. Your childhood,
your family life, your felonies.
I promise you. You won't be sorry with the result.
(GASPS)
Come on, pal, let's have it.
"Bug off, buster!" I don't know what she meant.
I would go get her, but she's in there and I'm out here!
Oh, my God. This doesn't make any sense at all. She's not even real.
Wait, no. Don't, please. I need this job. Look...
I'm sure I can draw her back in.
Let's just forget we had this conversation.
My kindergarten teacher, Miss Keifer...
Is that K-E-I-F-E-R or K-E-E-F-E-R?
Don't know. It's okay.
(SNIFFLING) It's all right. It's okay.
But that dame hated my guts.
I was not the one throwing water bombs in the lavatory
but I had to sit on the bench at recess.
I figured, from that day on,
if I'm going to take the rap, I might as well deserve it.
You're not a bad guy. You've just had some bad breaks.
You said it, darlin'. Why don't you surrender?
I'll take you in.
They won't shoot a reporter.
Yeah, you're right.
Hey! What are you doing, you big palooka?
(GRUNTS) I'm comin' out with the broad.
Try and stop me and I kill her.
Don't worry about me, boys. Shoot!
(GUNS FIRING)
Hold your fire!
It's Brenda! Lookit!
Come on, beauty, out you go.
Get a shot of that. Come on! Get 'em. Come on.
I could just kill her.
O'SHEA: Oh, no. We're goin' up on the roof!
Top of the world, ma.
Watch it, Neilson!
Hey, stupid! Say your prayers!
(GRUNTING)
Mr. O'Shea, I thought we were friends.
Yeah? Well, you were wrong.
(GROANS)
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
(CRASHING)
(ALL EXCLAIM)
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
She's alive! Starr's still alive!
Aren't we lucky!
OFFICER 1: Get back here! OFFICER 2: Get back.
Stay back there.
You've got to save her, boys.
That was the bravest thing I've ever seen.
Right, Chief.
BRENDA: (ECHOING) What's that? What's that?
NURSE: (ECHOING) It was here this morning. It was here this morning.
Who sent it to me?
There was no note.
There was no note.
(SCREAMING)
(GASPING)
Hey, Brenda.
Brenda.
Hi, Hank.
PESKY: How you doing, kid? (CHUCKLES) Fine.
Ta-da! (LAUGHING) Oh, Pesky.
Flowers! You're sweet.
Oh, boy!
You know, Brenda, you're an honest to gosh hero.
The police department's giving you a medal.
Yeah, even our sweetheart of an editor's singing your praises.
Did my nabbing O'Shea do anything for circulation?
Absolutely. Sure.
Come on, you guys.
All right. Livright cut our salaries.
If we don't do something quick, The Flash is kaput.
You're kidding. That does it.
Hey, hey, hey, Brenda, you better lie down.
When my friends are in danger of losing their jobs?
Well, maybe we ought to talk to the doc about this, you know?
(CAMERA CLICKING) ARCHIE: Got it.
Get that right over to the paper, Archie.
Oh, Libby Lips, how dare you?
I knew it.
I told my editor you were just faking it,
so you could really milk the O'Shea story.
Now, I've got proof.
You're just sore 'cause Brenda got the O'Shea story
while you were sitting on your claws.
(LAUGHING)
Little man.
I don't care about the O'Shea story. Small potatoes.
I'm working on something so big, it will really clean your clock, Starr.
Put you right out of the newspaper game.
All you poor saps. So...
Ta-ta!
(SNIFFS)
(SCREAMS)
Wow! Never tangle with a redhead.
(SIGHS) Now! Let me find something nifty to wear.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Hold it, sonny. Only staff allowed in there.
My name's Mike Randall. I'm looking for Brenda Starr.
Don't you read the papers, huh?
(WHISPERING) Brenda at the hospital.
MAN 1: Going up.
MAN 2: Lobby.
Excuse me. Thank you.
Oh, boy, my job.
(WHISTLES) St. James Hospital. Right away, please.
TAXI DRIVER: Funny, I just come from there.
(ALL APPLAUDING)
You guys.
You really fell for that guy, didn't you?
I did what anyone would've done, Gus. I used my head.
(GUS LAUGHING)
Thanks. Thank you. MAN: Good going, Brenda.
Thanks. I'm so glad you weren't hurt, Brenda.
Thank you.
(GRUNTS) Thanks, guys.
(SIGHING)
Now for Livright.
(EXCLAIMS)
(WHISTLING)
You cut our salaries?
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
I quit.
Did you hear what I said? I quit.
Let me show you an amazing film.
Arrived at newspapers in five cities.
London, Paris, New York, Moscow, Berlin.
Francis, did you hear what I said?
(SHUSHING) Brenda. Watch, watch!
Three. Two. One.
Ladies and gentlemen.
You will scarcely believe what you are about to see
(NATIVES CHATTERING) served in this tiny little pill.
This has unlimited power.
More power than the wind, the rain...
(NATIVES CHATTERING)
...than all your Gods.
Using an ordinary stick here,
I'm going to have the pilot...
(NATIVES EXCLAIMING) NATIVE: Stick! Stick!
...put the stick into the gasoline tank of the plane.
(EXCLAIMS) It is dry!
(NATIVES MURMURING)
Tank is empty.
(SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE)
I need no gasoline to make this great bird fly.
Fly!
(NATIVES MURMURING)
All I need is water.
You will be amazed to see how powerful.
Now.
(NATIVES MURMURING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Come, come, come, come.
(NATIVES CHATTERING)
(SHOUTING)
(NATIVES CHEERING)
(GOAT BLEATING) Go back, go back.
(HENS CLUCKING)
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
He's saying, "Goodbye."
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(ALL CHEERING)
Well, goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Holy cow! What was that?
LIVRIGHT: Just the biggest story since the atomic bomb.
(PROJECTOR SWITCH CLICKING)
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
And I hear Libby's about to crack it at The Globe.
Don't play games with me, Francis.
All right. Rumors are this.
There's a scientist and an ex-Nazi named Kreutzer.
He's invented a cheap fuel powerful enough to send man into space.
Come on, space?
And the country that gets to him first...
The reporter that gets to him first.
Let me get a look at this guy.
I'll find him.
MIKE: I'd like a BLT on toast,
fries and black coffee, please. Hold the mayo.
WOMAN: A BLT crispy with fries. You hold the mayo. I'll get the java.
MAN: On the grill, toots.
(EXCLAIMS)
I see big trouble.
(PESKY WHISTLING) REPORTER: Hey! Copy.
Copy? So, kid, how's it going?
No luck. I called the FBI, RAF, Defense Department,
Pentagon and every embassy in Washington. Nothing.
Honey, that jungle footage could've been from anywhere.
Africa, South America, Malaysia.
This is just hot air from Libby.
The Globe doesn't know any more than we do.
(EXCLAIMING)
REPORTER: Copy.
Susie? Get me the White House, please.
CONDUCTOR: All aboard!
(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
(PIANO PLAYING)
Why don't you take the bass for a while, little lady,
and I'll play the treble.
You see, my problem is,
I'm halfway between the breakup of the OSS
and the start of this new Central Intelligence Agency.
It's pretty lean around here now on the information front.
I was kind of hoping that you might have something for me.
I'm afraid not, Mr. President.
But I don't give up easily.
(CHUCKLING)
That was wonderful, Mr. President.
Well, thank you very much.
Sir, are you worried about this rocket fuel?
Well, Brenda, I believe I'd be a suck-egg mule if I wasn't.
We have to think about the future.
Man on the moon and space stations and...
Well, let me show you a little something I learned
when I was in the Boy Scouts of America.
Come over here, Brenda.
Very interesting.
Imagine what a space station up near the sun
could do to the cities down here on Earth
with the same magnifying effect.
Explode them!
You got it, little lady. If the Ruskies get their hands
on that miracle fuel,
why, it would put the free world up the creek without a paddle.
(EXCLAIMS)
The story's dynamite, but even the President doesn't know.
(SHUSHING) Just give me your coat. Come on.
Here.
Hello.
Hello. I'm Basil St. John.
Would you like to sit down?
Have we met before?
I don't know.
Have we?
I'm from Brazil.
I understand you're looking for Gerhardt Kreutzer.
Do you know Professor Kreutzer?
Professor Kreutzer is in hiding,
in a small village in the interior of my country.
And he's not well. Time is short.
He wants to tell his story to someone.
And I want to be sure that his formula falls into the right hands.
There's no reporter in the world
who could tell his story better, Brenda Starr.
Hmm. Lucky stiff.
(SHUSHING)
Now if you go down, it will be very dangerous.
Now that I've met you, I'm
no longer certain that I want you to take that risk.
You'd have to put a stake through my heart to keep me from going.
(EXCLAIMS) Not a bad idea.
BASIL: Here.
I'll write down the name of the village.
You're to be at the mouth of the Amazon.
BASIL: At the Hotel Paraiso, in Belem.
On the thirteenth. That's next Friday.
Captain of the river steamer will meet you and take you to Kreutzer.
EDITOR: Don't have the name of the town.
LIBBY: Who cares? I've got Starr's number.
The question is, who are these people we are listening to?
BRENDA: You can't imagine what this means to me.
All my friends' jobs are at stake.
And who are they listening to?
I must go now.
I never stay anywhere very long.
On the other hand,
you never know when I'll turn up.
Goodbye, Basil.
And who is Basil?
(STATIC BUZZING)
I don't get any of this.
It doesn't matter.
This reporter, Brenda Starr,
is obviously the one who will find Kreutzer for us.
Da. Very good, very good.
Excuse me, senorita.
Can you see? Are we to San Juan yet?
All I can see is clouds.
I am so anxious to be home.
You're Puerto Rican?
Da.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
LIVRIGHT: Hey!
Starr disappeared. Never made it to Belem.
Belem? Belem? Where's Belem?
(GASPS)
Ah, the so called reporter is awake.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
Tell me, where is Professor Kreutzer?
Forget it, sister.
I'll be back.
Now...
She doesn't look like she wears this much make-up.
How bourgeois!
What could it all be for?
(COUGHING)
(GROANS)
LUBA: Catch her. VLADIMIR: Catch her.
LUBA: Help me. VLADIMIR: Help me.
No, me!
No, me!
That's stupid, me!
(EXCLAIMS)
LUBA: Catch her! Help me!
(GRUNTING) Put me to ground!
Put me to ground!
Excuse me. Excuse me, where am I?
Puerto Rico. Thank you.
Feet on ground!
Pull! Idiot!
Oh, would you pull me up! Pull!
(YELLS IN RUSSIAN)
Catch her!
(YELLS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
I get you!
I don't got you.
I get you now!
(GRUNTING)
Too late, too late! Dumb-bell!
You are dumb-bells. It's too late. Use door.
Ow! Ow!
Blast it! My favorite skirt!
LUBA: Where did she go? But she was on the roof.
Oh, I don't know. I go this way, you go that way.
VLADIMIR: Yes.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Hello.
Hello. Hello.
(SIGHS)
LUBA: Mischa! Boris!
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
Follow.
(MAN SHOUTING)
Waiter!
Waiter, por favor. Waiter!
Is there anything else you need, senorita?
Yes, a car.
Where's the airport?
It's back that way, senorita.
Thank you.
(HORN HONKING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(LUBA YELLING)
(GRUNTING)
Hello. Hello.
(ENGINE FALTERING)
(HOOFBEATS APPROACHING)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
Basil!
Brenda!
Take us to the Amazon.
The horses cost extra.
BASIL: It's dark and it's dangerous. And it's full of mystery.
All my life, I've wanted to go up the Amazon.
Yes, you would.
When all the other girls were playing with their paper dolls.
So you were the one who sent me this.
My family cultivates them.
What a lovely hobby.
Not a hobby, I fear. A necessity.
Necessity? Why?
It's...
It's nothing.
Basil, you can tell me.
An affliction.
A curse on the family bloodline.
Without the serum of the black orchid,
members of my family go insane before their time.
Nobody's perfect.
(SINGING)
Oh, good evening, Mr. St. John.
We have your table ready. Would you follow me, please?
♪ Does he notice me? Does he even know I'm there?
♪ He might be shy
♪ But I bet you as a lover he's the best
♪ And it makes me wanna say
♪ Ay caramba Donde mora?
♪ Come, let's have a fiesta, mi amor
♪ Ay caramba Donde mora?
♪ Come, let's have a fiesta, my love
Good grief.
British, German, French Secret Service.
CIA.
What do they want?
You.
Oh.
♪ You'd be mine
I'm very sorry, sir, but I'm afraid we're full.
BRENDA: How did they all know I'd be here?
My compliments.
(EXCLAIMS)
You slithery, slimy snake.
(EXCLAIMS)
Thank you.
♪ Ay caramba Donde mora?
♪ Come, let's have a fiesta, my love...
Excuse me. You don't know me,
but I've really gotta talk about...
I sure do, you rat!
And I made it perfectly clear
that I want nothing further to do with you. So buzz off!
Shall we dance?
I'd love to. Thank you.
Wait! You don't understand!
Please, listen to me. I've just gotta get this...
Go away now.
I'll lose my job if you don't come back.
Tough!
I'm trying to put myself through architecture school.
He ridiculed my work. What?
My clothing, even my hair. No.
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry? After months of abuse? No, thank you!
Look, I just want to apologize.
Young man, it's time for you to leave.
Basil, I'll handle this. No scene, please.
♪ Ay caramba
No scene.
Brenda.
Gentlemen.
(WISHING GOOD NIGHT IN FRENCH)
(WISHING GOOD NIGHT IN GERMAN)
Cheerio.
That young man,
was he an old boyfriend?
No.
Just someone I used to work with.
Are you coming up the river with me tomorrow?
If I don't?
Should I be afraid?
Absolutely.
Where I come from, the people believe in a giant water snake.
The Cobra Grande.
Oh, really?
It emerges from the river at night,
rises up and swallows whole canoes
and steals the souls of their occupants.
Is that all?
They say that staring into its eye,
a person can become encantado.
(ROOSTER CROWING)
(GASPS)
Don't yell! Please. It's just me.
Hi, hi.
Hi. Hi.
Oh, no! Oh! Okay.
They were waiting for you.
So, when I came in through the window, they...
And so I...
(SHIVERS)
What's wrong? Nothing.
That one was behind the curtain, so I grabbed this.
It was a flower pot. And then the other one...
Are you okay?
I've never done anything like this before.
It scared the shit out of me!
Do you always talk like that? Like what?
With such dirty words.
I think I need a hot bath.
BRENDA: I'm having a terrible problem
with some of those purses you're having me wear.
They're just too small.
I have to use teeny-weeny notebooks or they won't fit.
(SNORING)
Half the time I have to memorize what people say.
I want my stories accurate.
Front desk?
Hello. Could you remove two bodies from the third floor hall?
Thank you.
A reporter can get sued if she doesn't have the proper notes.
Brenda, I just draw you. I didn't create you.
A woman did.
Tell her I don't mind the wardrobe.
Of course, logically I couldn't afford it on what I earn.
But I understand that the public expects me to look chic.
And I wouldn't want to let them down.
Thank you.
What?
Were you wounded in the war? Huh?
What is that? What?
What is it?
It's my belly-button. Everybody has one!
Oh. Oh.
You remember when you went undercover in that belly dancer's club
and you had to wear that little outfit?
Well, the censors wouldn't allow me to...
You see, you can't show a lady's belly-button in the papers,
so I had to erase it.
If you think I'm coming back to the comics
to be drawn by a pervert, you are nuts!
Get out! I won't have it!
Get out!
(IN INDIAN ACCENT) I am come from the Captain to take you to the boat.
Oh. How wonderful. Just a minute.
You, out!
Brenda, where are you going?
Hey, pal. What's the story?
Men follow me. Goodness gracious, we must hurry!
I'm ready.
You check outside the bathroom window. Right.
You check out the hallway on your way out.
BOTH: Right. And I'll pick out a handbag.
Right. Right.
(GASPS)
MIKE: Brenda!
Shit!
Look!
(GROANING)
MIKE: Brenda!
(VLADIMIR GROANS)
Put head higher!
Baldness is sliding me.
You're killing me.
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
Hello. Would you take us to the docks, please?
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
We're in a really big hurry. Thanks a lot.
(MIKE YELLING)
(GRUNTS)
(HONKING)
Watch it, people!
I'm not coming back, you creep!
Be reasonable. Get off my taxi!
(GRUNTING)
Can't play in the big time, can you?
MIKE: Hey! Hey! Watch it, watch it!
(HONKING)
(MIKE EXCLAIMING)
(GRUNTS)
He's looking quite a-okay.
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
(EXCLAIMING)
I told you to get off my taxi.
Wilkommen, Miss Starr.
Thank you.
Let's get this boat on the way!
Capitan Borg, at your service. Captain.
I have prepared lunch for you, yeah?
Brenda!
MAN: The boat on the way now...
Bye!
(EXCLAIMING)
I shoot him. Wait!
He's my photographer.
Where's his camera?
He
didn't want to get it wet.
(EXHALES)
(EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)
(YELLING) Witch!
Hmm.
Hello. How are you today?
Excuse me.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Do you speak English, pal?
(SPEAKING SLOWLY) I want you
to follow that boat with me.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Well, it take maybe, one,
two days to get the plane ready, okay?
(SIGHING)
How much? Twenty bucks?
A hundred.
(SIGHING)
All right, 150
and my garter belt.
Your garter belt?
You got a deal, baby.
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
I hope your photographer is all right.
He's just seasick.
Seasick?
On the Amazon?
(CHUCKLES) Uh, he has a very sensitive tummy.
Are you all right?
I think what my photographer has must be catching.
Would you please excuse me?
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
(BLOWS)
(DOOR OPENING)
Jeepers! Miss Starr.
I am Captain Borg.
I knew there was something funny about that other guy.
They torture me, but I do not tell them your destination.
How brave!
They are vile mercenaries.
(BRENDA SCREAMS)
Oh, let go of me, you little louse!
Ah! The she-wolf, eh?
(MAN SCREAMING)
Do you have any Dramamine?
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Whatever you're going to try, forget it. I'm not talking.
We shall see.
Karl!
(MAN LAUGHING)
(MEN CHATTERING)
Okay?
(MEN SPEAKING GERMAN)
(GURGLING)
(MAN LAUGHS) Oh, no!
Piranha. Drawn by the blood.
They strip the whole cow to the bone in 2.2 minutes.
Brenda, talk!
Never!
The survival of the free world depends upon it!
What? This isn't happening.
Please, God, this can't be happening!
(MEN CHATTERING)
Get him ready.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
Are you nuts?
Wait, don't rush into this, please.
You're gonna do something we're all gonna regret.
No more talking! There is no...
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
You're crazy!
(GRUNTING) Karl! Come. Save me!
Karl! Save me.
Have you no pity?
(SHOUTING)
(BUBBLING)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Good work. Huh?
Now's our chance.
(MEN CHATTERING)
This way.
(MIKE YELLING)
(GASPING)
(GUNS FIRING)
Stupid fools! You let them escape.
(GASPING)
(THUNDER CLAPPING)
MIKE: What the hell's gonna happen now...
BRENDA: Mike! Are you alive?
Get me out of here. Okay. Okay.
Don't worry about it! I'll do something!
(GRUNTING) Brenda! Brenda! Something.
What is it? Golly! Stop panicking.
Golly? While I'm in this shithole?
(HISSING)
(GASPING)
MIKE: Brenda.
(GRUNTING) Brenda.
Now, this is what I'm going to want you to do.
Grab the toe and heel, they're reinforced.
Then start counting to ten and climb. Here.
(GRUNTING)
(HISSING) So, listen.
It's really hard to find taupe-colored nylons,
so try not to get a run in them.
(GRUNTING)
Rats.
Thanks.
Brenda?
Hmm.
You awake?
Uh-huh.
Do you really like that one-eyed guy?
Mmm-hmm.
He's brave,
handsome.
Oily.
It's really sad.
To be so dashing and yet...
He needs the serum of the black orchid
or he'll go insane before his time.
He actually said that?
What a bullshit artist!
I suppose you went to bed with him.
You're really crude, you know that?
Say "shit." What?
Just say it. Be good for you. Loosen you up a little.
I'm going to sleep. Look.
I'll say something for you. What do you want me to say?
Jeepers. You're kidding.
You can do it. That word's harder.
Okay. Forget it.
No, no. We will both say our words at the same time, all right?
One, two, three.
I knew you couldn't.
(MIKE LAUGHING)
(ROOSTER CROWING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(HORNS HONKING)
I'm Carlos. Your servant
and slave.
I'm Brenda Starr.
What's your name?
His wife.
She's the owner of this carnival.
Oh! A female carnival owner. How unusual!
I work for The Flash, a New York newspaper.
I would love to do a story on you and your lovely family.
(SNORING)
(HENS CLUCKING)
Bravo! Yes!
(WHIP CRACKING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
I have been looking all over for you.
I've been watching the capoeira.
We've got to get to Porto Verde.
Well, what's in Porto Verde? That's where Kreutzer is.
Okay, I'll be back.
Maybe she perform with us? Too skinny.
No, she's really hot stuff.
With her, maybe we hit big time.
Esperanza. Yes?
These clothes are really shot.
Do you think I could borrow something?
Oh, sure. Thank you.
Is perfecto, yes?
Well, it's not really me.
(KNIFE UNSHEATHING)
Come.
Excuse me. Can you, uh... Do you...
Do you know where I can get a boat?
Hey, a boat. I need to leave.
What are you doing?
Where are you taking me?
Up the high wire. What?
ESPERANZA: Put your hand in. Come on.
Hello!
(WHIMPERING)
Good. Take her up!
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(GRUNTING)
Nothing for you to worry about.
Are you ready?
Are you crazy?
No, don't worry. If you fall, they are gonna catch you.
Oh, no, no! No! No! Please, just walk right up there.
That's it, just walk right... Mike!
(STEAM WHISTLE BLOWING)
BRENDA: No! Mike!
Mike? Who's Mike?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
I'm coming! I'm coming!
That's good girl, just walk right...
I'm coming!
(CARLOS SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Catch her!
Mike!
Get them, men, quick.
Get out of here! You're ruining my act.
Brenda, what are you doing? Let him go!
Let him go, Brenda! Oh.
(EXCLAIMING)
(GRUNTING)
Oh, that's pretty good how I do that.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(EXCLAIMING)
What do we do now? Just hang on to me.
Hurry.
Look out!
Come back!
(EXCLAIMS)
Thanks.
Can you guys give us a hand?
Catch her!
And a leg? Yeah, sure.
Thanks. Bye. Thanks, guys.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Get them! You can do it!
Go get Brenda Starr!
(BOTH COOING)
(LAUGHING)
Come here.
Hey, keep your eyes on the road, Buster.
Brenda, I really love that little outfit. Oh, no!
What's this?
(EXCLAIMING) We're almost there.
That's great, but why don't we... Mike!
We have really got to get going. I'm on a story, okay?
You're right. Okay.
Oh, goodness! I can't arrive in this.
Hello, miss. May I have a word with you?
I'm a reporter from New York City
and I'm here in your country...
Starr, we're not going anywhere!
Oh, shit!
Well, how do I look?
Beautiful.
Basil! How did you know we...
I was here?
I have my ways.
Can I canoe you?
BRENDA: Oh, Basil, you think of everything.
Mmm, chicken and little bits of watercress.
Anyone hungry? Basil?
BASIL: Just wine.
Mike?
MIKE: No, thanks.
Salmon!
All right, I'll have one.
(GROWLING)
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
Do you speak English?
No, over there. No, over there.
Thank you.
It's okay. It's okay.
Nice legs.
Mike, are you coming?
(PARROT SQUAWKING)
I'm looking for Professor Kreutzer.
Thank you.
Just give me a minute to freshen up.
Excuse me.
(FLIES BUZZING)
(SIGHS)
(PARROT CHATTERING)
Pinga.
May I buy you a drink?
Pinga.
What would you like?
I'll have the same.
(PARROT SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(PARROT REPEATING)
(HICCUPS)
All right?
Mike! Is he all right?
He'll be fine. Usually takes about seven minutes.
Professor Kreutzer?
Professor? You're not dead, are you?
You don't think I came all the way out here and he passed on?
(GROANING)
Not quite yet.
(GROANING)
I'm Brenda Starr of The Flash.
The formula?
(GROANING)
Yes?
Yes?
Yes? Yes?
Oh, no!
That poor man. He didn't live to tell his story.
To tell me his story.
Not quite.
Do you realize what this means to civilization?
The formula is lost.
The Flash is finished.
My friends are out of work!
Blast! Darn! Heck! Shoot!
And look at that poor man.
Not even a relative to share his last moments on earth.
Sad.
Oh, my gosh!
What is it?
Oh, my gosh! Thank you.
We have 'em. All we have to do is have them analyzed.
Oh, what a story.
(DOOR OPENING)
(WHISTLES)
(PARROT CHATTERING)
(SNORING)
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Is there a telephono?
A telephone?
Yes, Guadalupe. 20 kilometers.
Uh, can we get a car?
Car? Yes. Petrol? No.
Well, I guess it's back to the canoe. Gracias.
Come on, Mike, let's go.
Thank you.
PARROT: Bye-bye.
Operator, extremely long distance. Berlin.
(SPEAKING IN GERMAN)
Say something, anything.
As if the future of the free world were not in my compact.
I'd love to take you to my home.
What?
There's a telephone there.
Do you live near here?
97 kilometers into the deepest, darkest interior.
Back to the canoe. And Guadalupe.
Mike! Hurry up!
Mike!
Look, we've got to straighten this out.
Don't be a dope! We've got the formula!
Good. Listen, Long John Silver,
there's something between Brenda and me.
Would you pass me an oar, please?
We didn't mean to get involved,
but we were up on this trapeze.
Come on, Brenda. Please, tell him.
Libby Lips!
Look!
We'll have to pull her onboard.
Oh, all right.
Quick!
(PANTING)
Listen here, Libby.
If you think you're horning in on this story you've got another thought coming.
Don't I know you?
Hands off him!
You see what I mean?
Thank you so much.
And him. Take it easy, Starr.
The men are yours, the story is yours.
Would you just loan me a mirror?
You know, I really do look a mess. No!
Give me that! No!
Give it! No!
Give it to me.
(STEAM WHISTLE BLOWING)
Oh, shit! The Russians!
LUBA: It's her, Brenda Starr! We found her!
(SCREAMING)
LUBA: Get her!
Get her!
Mike!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Brenda!
Give to me!
Over here.
LUBA: Brenda Starr. Her purse!
Get purse!
I'm clear! I'm clear! I got it! I got it!
Yoo-hoo! Give me!
Give to me!
(LAUGHING)
Well done.
Where's Starr?
Your shoelaces are undone.
Where's Starr?
(SCREAMING)
LUBA: No! Give me purse! Give me purse!
Right.
Brenda, that was magnificent.
Wait a minute!
Knock it off, Mike! This is no time for a scene.
Don't be childish.
MIKE: What are you doing?
It's fuel. It burns.
(SCREAMING)
BRENDA: Let's go. Well, what about Lips?
She'll survive. She always does.
(SCREAMING)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Jose!
This time, I want more than your garter belt.
I don't mind.
Take me! Take me!
Take me! Take me on plane!
LUBA: Why he's going so high? Don't go so high! Don't go so high, do you hear me?
(SCREAMING)
LUBA: Catch 'em! VLADIMIR: Help me!
LIBBY: Oh, Jose!
(LAUGHING) Jose!
(LIBBY MOANING)
LIBBY: Ole!
As you can see, the petrol tank is absolutely dry.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
(BASIL SPEAKING SPANISH)
(ALL SPEAKING SPANISH)
Pure water.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
BASIL: The vial.
With this magic formula, I shall make the car fly!
(CROWD GASPING)
BASIL: Like the wind!
Vroom!
Vroom!
Brenda, you can't play us off anymore. Choose.
Him or me? Now?
How dare you ask me to choose.
And you're going back to your world, aren't you?
Brenda?
BRENDA: Mike? I'm coming. I'm coming.
Stand clear at the back.
(BOTH SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Well done.
What a lovely place you have.
Rather difficult to keep it up in the jungle.
What would you like? A cool drink? Hot bath?
The phone. I have to call The Flash. Of course.
Hand them over, Starr.
Libby Lips!
Who were you expecting?
You hand it over, Libby!
Shit! That was easy!
I just poked my finger in her back!
(LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
Mike, are you all right?
Give me that!
(LAUGHS)
You didn't compromise yourself, did you, Libby?
Me? Never.
Scout's honor.
Let's tie them up, tiger!
Okay.
(LAUGHING)
Starr, come back with me?
Really? Will you?
LIBBY: Jose!
(GUN FIRING)
(LIBBY LAUGHING)
Okay, big shot. Cut the funny stuff!
LIBBY: Oh, I can see it all, now.
Starr bungles scoop, The Flash crashes
and little old Libby here is a national hero.
Ta-ta!
Shall we?
Gee, Basil, if you could just move this way.
Mike, that way.
(GRUNTING)
Heck!
You're leaving tonight? For where?
The Andes. A friend is in trouble.
Sounds like there's a story in it.
I almost forgot.
The last issue of The Flash hit the stands today.
I'm unemployed.
Would you go to work at The Globe?
Never!
I'm going into the real world.
Oh?
I need a change.
Will you be happy there?
What about your friends?
I let them all down. You could never let me down.
And you never know when I'll turn up.
What are you doing? Hold on.
No way!
What? Look.
Holy cow!
Your miracle fuel's a fraud!
What?
Well, I was a chemistry major before I switched to architecture.
This is just acetone, I'd guess,
mixed with some concoction for model rockets.
Powerful but... Deadly!
Yeah!
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh!
You know what I've got?
What?
A scoop!
LIBBY: It's a lie. It is a lie!
Starr is pulling a fast one!
You have 10 seconds to get out of my office.
And 20 seconds to get out of the building!
Wait a minute. Scram!
You can't do this!
Out!
(HUFFS)
I'll get you back for this!
(HUFFS)
I could just kill her.
Here you go, Benny.
Thanks, kid.
Holy smokes! It's Brenda! Hey, kid!
(ALL CHEERING)
WOMAN: Champagne all around!
MAN: Nice work, Brenda.
Here's to the star.
Thanks, boss.
All right, back to work.
(ALL GROANING)
Great job, Starr. Thank you.
Oh, I'm so glad to be back. I'm proud of you, Brenda.
You're not coming with me, are you?
Come here.
At least I'll be able to see you when I draw you every day.
Only if you're nice.
You know I fell in love with you.
Oh, my God. You're getting those little stars in your eyes.
That's me, in my world.
BRENDA: What's that?
That's you, in your world.
Put your arms around me?
It's gonna be great, Brenda.
We'll get to see each other every day.
There.
Thanks, Mike. Until tomorrow.