Breakfast with Hunter (2003) Movie Script

Fuck You.

Okay.

Here. Go Ahead!

It's my daughter.

She's fucked up.

Stay right there.

You have no place to hide.

Yeah, right, you son of a bitch.

Here, take this.

I believe that's true.

But I think you have

accurate information.

And, uh...

So what?

All right.

I didn't mean to get off

on this kind of start.

No. None of that's true,

but you're going out.

It's not because of what you've asked,

you know. It's not because of...

any elegance

or any articulation that you have.

It's because you seem like

a lawyer with a grudge.

Right?

I think so. Yeah.

I want to hear him scream.

It's just that you--

Let's try to get there now.

If you haven't been fired by Rolling Stone,

you really aren't anywhere.

It is odd that, you know...

here we are sitting in

the Rolling Stone boardroom.

It looks like some kind

of a plastic cubicle...

out of 2004.

And 25 years ago, we were operating

out of a loft in San Francisco...

and shunned as...

dope creatures.

I guess that's really what it was.

It kind of brought the adventure back.

I think it's the attitude

that makes it kind of enduring.

And I think I was celebrating

the last time...

that it was possible

to get away with this kind of stuff.

Like the end of the '60s,

the wave had rolled back...

broke and rolled back.

I'm still on trial, you know, in Aspen.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

No. Fuck, no.

I was hunted down on election night...

by the cops...

where I was leading the movement

to take on the Aspen Ski Company.

And we beat them.

They were trying to expand

the airport runways.

Beat them,

but election morning...

on the way home, I was arrested.

And they've had me on trial ever since.

Imagine being pulled over

and blowing a .0053.

.10 is DUI.

.0053 is the difference

between me drinking this...

and not drinking it.

Yeah. Whatever that is.

They're not.

This is a letter--

And when I was arrested--

Shit, it was last year.

It was a bungling...

a vicious arrest, a political arrest.

They were trying to bust me

on election night.

Which they did,

but they were about three hours late.

And we won the election the next day.

I beat the ski company by a huge margin.

I'm a great believer in local politics.

So when I was arrested

for the same reason...

I wrote this letter

to the district attorney.

And I used--

Oh, thank you.

I offer it as help.

It's called

"How To Deal with the Police."

Slower.

Slower, slower, slower.

But it's cost me,

I don't know, $30,000.

I'm trying to make that point that

people have to stand up to the police.

I've found myself

in that position before.

Oh, yeah. We're going to

bust him and he will be sent to...

wherever the last--

the sheriff went.

Thanks.

I'll just put it in here.

I think the marijuana laws

are one of the reasons...

that has engendered

this lack of respect...

that the cops complain about

all over the country.

When you get a whole generation

that grows up as felons...

and they know the law is ridiculous,

and they're told all this gibberish--

How it drives you crazy and makes

your brain soft and your feet fall off.

Even the police know it's a silly law.

Yeah. The only compromise

I made on the platform was that...

I agreed that the deputies

would not be allowed...

to eat mescaline while on duty.

All those registration cards.

All the same name.

It seemed important at the time.

But certainly I would've been arrested.

No question. I would've been charged.

If I had been elected,

it would have just--

all hell would've broken loose.

I think I...

unfortunately proved

what I set out to prove.

And that was more a political point

than a local election.

And I think the original reason

was to prove it to myself.

That...

the American dream

really is fucked!

I had a sense of...

the closing down

of everything coming.

And Nixon was going to reelected.

Remember that!

Yeah, that was not a happy time.

And the '60s were kind of over,

you know. Nixon was president.

So this was a kind of a--

I think not consciously,

but reading it now...

it was the attitude of the '60s

that we were on top.

We could--

We were going to prevail...

and have fun at the same time.

The greed-heads were doomed.

But Nixon brought an end to that.

Thank God for Watergate.

I think it saved a lot of lives.

(totally unintelligible)

Oh, yeah.

I felt defeated then.

I take politics seriously.

Oh, boy. You bet.

Yeah.

For a friendship to survive him...

firing me and canceling

my life insurance...

while I was on the way to Saigon

to cover the war in Vietnam.

Yeah. We've had our ups and downs.

Now, where in this rat's maze...

What? All right.

What's this, another boardroom?

Conference room.

Yeah. They're all glass. Right?

Look at this!

Look at this.

Hold on to these flowers.

All right.

Armed.

Okay. Let's go.

See, I go from flowers to this...

so quickly.

Watch this.

You're okay.

Thank God we have this (on film).

Look at this. Take a look at the room.

You've got to look at the room.

It's all disappearing.

Some kind of air is taking it.

Look what I brought you.

I want to tell you that--

Look around you, man.

This is the place where

you'd want to spend a weekend.

We have hot pools, cold tubs,

whatever we have.

Whatever you want really,

almost anything you want.

I guess what I'm talking about is fun.

I'm going on trial,

by the way, in two weeks.

Don't let that bother you.

Ralphie.

All right, man.

That tells you who's lying, Ralph.

Extremes of personality, right?

Well--

Does it say that?

Wait a minute, now.

William Faulkner said--

He was talking about

the need, you know...

the will to write.

And one off his lines was...

"A writer will walk over his grandmother

to get the book finished."

Now, if that's not

obsessive compulsive--

Ralph, if I am one of these,

welcome to the club, bubba.

First trip to the--

Meanwhile I was struggling

desperately to get, you know...

to try and get Derby credentials,

like, three days before the Derby...

press box, everything, total for two.

I knew people at the Courier,

and I scored them for everything...

except the inside,

the governor's box, the inner circle.

Oh, you bet we did. We stomped in there.

We went everywhere we wanted.

You were gassed.

Just try that.

Read the real truth.

I remember saying that.

I was doing another story in LA...

and I took him there

to get him away from...

his Chicano,

his Brown Power bodyguards.

These were killers.

I couldn't get Oscar

away from his bodyguards.

That's when I devised the plan

to sneak off to Las Vegas.

Went to the Polo-- the Polo Lounge...

ditched the bodyguard by accident,

got this assignment.

I knew I already had the assignment.

I just accepted it.

It was for Sports Illustrated.

I wasn't going to do it.

I just saw a chance to get Oscar

away from these people.

I realize it now, Ralph.

It never occurred to me that--

Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Please.

Please, Ralph.

Let us not forget or ignore...

or fail to count in here...

the fact that when

the time came to do "the art"...

who did the art in the articles

and the book, Ralph?

Who called?

It wasn't the fucking stork who

brought you that assignment, was it?

It wasn't something

that went over my head.

I had to overrule

the art director at Rolling Stone.

And I took it quite readily and

that's why you illustrated the book.

Look at the cheap,

penny, you know...

nickel and dime--

What reason?

Be sure you get that.

This explains--

No, I'm talking to Wayne here.

Be sure you get--

I want it as a matter of record...

that's what I've been dealing with

for all these years.

I see.

I'm not quite whole.

Holy Shit.

This is really dark thinking, isn't it?

Well, Ralph,

there's nothing to do about this.

It's getting late.

Not a bad dedication there.

That's not bad.

Look at that.

Fuck you, man!

What are you doing, man?

I mean, what a scene.

It was the monsoon season down there.

Everybody with any money at all...

had left Palm Beach, you know, to flee.

In this driving, horrible rain.

Nothing to do at night except...

get drunk.

I'd go over to Roxanne's house.

And yeah,

we abused a lot of substances.

But then to have to go

right into the courtroom...

at 7:00 in the morning

to get in line for the 12 seats.

It went on and on forever.

It was like being lost

with Captain Nemo under the sea.

It was weird.

Good morning, son.

They pulled me over

because they knew who I was.

Rather than an unknown person...

allegedly swerving over a line.

Yeah. It's based on

who the judge believes now.

And proving that he--

that anybody who believes he didn't

know what my car was, or who I was--

And to think that he could be on

the police force and be that unaware of--

Where is he working, fucking Mars?

I don't know if I should announce...

my $44 million lawsuit

against the city now or later.

Okay.

Anybody decent or half smart would

throw in the towel. I don't know.

I don't know what the hell

Wills is going to do.

Must be a horrifying experience...

to have to sit there and listen

to Glidden lie in court all the time.

That letter.

That letter was sent.

It's part of the record.

That's how I started this trial.

So that's what I'm into...

and I hope nobody here

is inclined to think...

that I'm not doing my part

against these people.

But that's

"How To Deal with the Police."

And I think there are handbills

you can have on your way out.

Just in case

you get arrested anytime soon...

take this as a model.

Clearly I was about

to go on my knees here.

Oh, of course. This is the worst one

they could have gotten.

We didn't see this.

Looks like I'm being hauled out.

He really does like

hanging out with celebrities.

Oh, my God.

Shit. I guess you did.

Oh, man.

Shit. That was horrible.

I don't recall that that requires

any total reconstruction.

That's nice.

I should be dead,

in fact, for this book.

And a lot less trouble for everybody.

I wouldn't be sitting here.

A lot of work.

I had some a while ago. Yeah.

You never know, boy.

Oh, yeah. You miss and it hits

and it spits out and the top cracks.

Whiskey spats everywhere.

All of them classics.

That's Tiny and Terry.

I took that.

Yeah.

Me in the mirror.

I took that.

I just thought I'd better get it down,

because I was about to die.

That's after I got stomped

by the Hell's Angels.

That's how I finally

made it back home.

Oh, yeah.

That's where we get to outlaw.

I've never been...

approved by any majority.

If you can make it work, it's not.

Yeah. On occasion.

They're still trying

to lock me up all the time.

The only things

I've ever been arrested for...

it turns out are things I didn't do.

All the crimes I really committed--

It was--

Maybe some people knew about them.

Yeah. I'm sure

that some people knew. But...

it's just an accident.

Look at that one. Try this.

It's just a general feeling that...

I shouldn't be allowed

to get away with it.

But I've been pretty careful

about trying to urge people...

who can not live outside the law...

to throw--

kick off the traces and run amok.

Some people are not made for it.

I was a juvenile delinquent.

I was...

the Billy the Kid of Louisville.

Well, it's actually pretty simple.

I believed I was a writer.

I knew I had to be a writer...

because...

I was not good

at anything else.

And shit, I get along by--

I survive...

by writing...

making literature...

out of what might otherwise

be seen as craziness.

You know, if l--

A lot of things,

if I didn't write about them...

I could be in jail for still.

All right!

Look at them.

They have a life of their own.

Yeah.

Lyle. Yes. How are you?

I'm fine.

He's right here.

We've been speaking of your talents.

And what are you going to do?

What's your--

Yeah. I thought you might want

to bring your folks out here...

and have them shoot off a bomb.

If they want to shoot the shotgun,

we can have them do it.

It's a rush.

Yeah. All right.

Okay.

Yeah. We're working hard here.

Here you're having me leaving town

on a plane midway in the picture?

Well, how's that going to work?

So we go to what,

three or four airports?

I fly out and then go home somewhere?

Tidal wave?

What tidal wave are you talking about?

Oh.

The wave-- Oh, yeah.

Broke and rolled back.

Oh, right.

I didn't get what it was.

What?

Good God.

It sounds so horrible

I'm not sure I want to read it.

What are you going to do?

Have some kind of animation tidal wave?

That eats shit.

What, is it some kind of hip thing

to do animation now?

Is it suppose to make it--

Well, maybe you can

convince me, but...

a cartoon tidal wave--

To turn that one...

really elegant statement--

It's like a huge sapphire.

And turn it into some kind of a fucking

joke where I'm being put on a tidal wave.

I will sue you.

The script can't be a lot different

from what you're telling me, can it?

It may be, but you're

talking about a tidal wave...

with me being washed on it, aren't you?

Well, I don't like the idea of it,

turning that--

This is one of my best fucking things

I've ever written...

and to turn it into some kind of

a stupid cartoon joke I don't like, no.

Well, then why the hell

do you want to choose that...

to have a cartoon

you can make out of it?

I just happen to have a very high

affection for that one piece...

and so do other people.

You know, we read it.

Well, I don't--

You can see that I might be

a little bit edgy...

when you talk about

putting it into cartoon form...

with me on some kind of tidal wave

across some imaginary...

Mickey Mouse desert.

I just don't think it's--

You're talking about making

characters out of these cartoons?

So we're mixing in moving

cartoon figures with people?

I really despise that.

You're asking me. I'm not sitting

considering a lot of things.

I'm just telling you--

Well, the thing about me being carried

across the desert on some tidal wave...

makes me really angry.

Now, the reptiles, that's been

a problem we've had with other people.

Well, I think Clive Arrowsmith had the

best solution to the reptile problem...

and I'm sorry we didn't

go ahead with it.

He said we would go to...

several of these farms that...

supply, like, the San Diego Zoo.

And we would get some alligators

and some huge beasts...

and drug them up with quaaludes.

Take the alligators in there...

prop them up on the bar,

nail their paws to the bar...

wait for them to come alive...

you know, the quaaludes wear off...

nail their feet to the floor.

And you know...

that would be an outrage...

that it was done, but l--

They wouldn't. They'd just

be nailed to the fucking bar.

They'd probably get loose eventually.

Well, what the hell?

They have these animal farms.

They train these beasts for films.

A real animal...

whatever what it does,

however dangerous it is...

is far preferable to some kind of

shit-eating cartoon running around.

It's going to be real hard.

I'm going to be a real

nasty bump to get over...

with the thing about me being put across

the desert on some kind of tidal wave.

It's a nasty shock to me.

I'm not trying to be--

I don't think I'm being mean.

That can't be the Holy Grail.

You think I'm the only person

who would object...

to cheapening this fucking thing

with cartoons?

Would I be some kind of lonely freak?

I hired Ralph to do some drawings.

But once they start

becoming the characters...

I think it's really a rotten

and wrong thing to do.

I would be opposed to this cartoon shit

until my death under any circumstances.

Don't even think that I'm ever

going to come around to it.

It eats shit, and I hate it.

And nobody ever asked me before...

and I'm sorry if they told you

I liked it or wanted it.

That's an utter lie.

And--

What the fuck? They didn't have

any visuals for Casablanca...

until God made the film.

This idea of substituting cartoons...

for real actors and real emotions

and real thinking...

I think is really bad.

I'll read it seven times, but still...

we're going to have a problem seven

times after I've read it seven times.

Hey. The cartoon thing sucks!

I'm sorry.

I don't like the idea of having some

shithead draw little things to make--

If I wanted that, I'd go to see cartoons

on fucking Saturday afternoons with kids...

or Saturday mornings.

No.

Well, should I have?

Have I suffered from it?

Do I look like I'm fucking deprived?

In your mind perhaps.

Fuck the popular mind. I didn't

write this for the popular mind.

What I really just resent deeply...

and what you're constantly

scratching on here...

and I don't know if you're doing it

intentionally or you think it's funny...

but the idea that you're

turning my work into a cartoon...

makes me fucking angry.

And you've got about five

fucking more minutes in the house.

Hey. If you want to deal with Ralph,

you go deal with Ralph.

All right. But this constant

reference to my work...

as being no better than cartoons...

is really getting me angry.

And I tell you there's one,

and we've gotten to two.

Now you've got--

At three, and you're out of here.

Well, you keep talking

about these cartoons...

and referring to my best work...

as something that should be put

in the Mickey Mouse thing.

I don't think that's really--

You write your own fucking movie.

Write your own story.

You're a smart girl.

Go out and do it.

Just don't fuck with mine

and make it into a cartoon.

Well, Todd is.

I am. I am, man.

I'm totally annoyed at them.

What you said.

I do want to make it clear to somebody.

So who is it?

Well, let's try this.

All right. We're having

a little problem here...

with your goddamn stupid fucking

cartoons out of this thing.

If you think you're in charge

of this movie...

we're going to have

a real problem right now.

Coming right on.

And, uh...

poor Alex Cox has had to

leave here in tears as the writer...

saying that you told him to make

fucking cartoons out of it...

and put Ralph's goddamn drawings

into cartoon characters.

If you want war,

here we go, baby.

There's going to be

a nasty fucking war.

Oh, slow and kind of rugged.

Ah. Good.

Do we have ice up there?

Do we have ice?

Oh, yes.

I've been here

longer than you have.

A green apple.

Green apple.

What does that mean?

Nobody ever said whether Eve

ate a red or a green apple.

Now, where are we?

Wait a minute.

Where's the bedroom and all that stuff?

This is something like

out of Double Indemnity.

Yeah.

I called to find out.

What should I have said?

"No, I know Laila for many years...

and she would never say that."

Fuck.

You got him on the movie.

So after that--

That's what I was going on.

Well, I'm looking for some fun

in this movie.

Basically, that's really what l--

I've got my own definitions

of fun sometimes.

I'm not so out of whack

as people think.

That looks like Mel.

This is quite critical, because this

is an agreement to avoid a trial.

Louder now.

Deferred prosecution means...

it disappears.

I said that.

That's a quote from Louis Brandeis,

the supreme court justice.

It's a quote.

I'm not sure what it means.

Like as in public officers

and private people.

Makes no sense.

I know you'll never like me Eddie,

but you will speak.

And you'll say,

"Hi. I'm Edward."

Did he leave?

Edward, this is part of life.

Edward.

All right, Edward. Come on, Eddie.

Come out of there.

The electric thing is back there.

All right, Eddie.

Let go of me, you swine.

I know, man.

I know. I know.

Yes.

I know you don't like this.

Eddie, I was put in jail for rape

when I was 15 years old.

I'm not squeezing him.

I know, man.

Hi. I'm Edward.

Boy, he really--

This is a goddamn heavy bite

on this bastard.

He's pissed off,

but he's healthy now.

Good, Edward.

At least you're capable of feeling.

There's a lot of heart and mind

in that little bastard.

Brainless in the end.

Care for a cigarette, Eddie?

Cigarette?

Yeah. You're future is being

carved out for you, Eddie.

Oh, Lord. There we go, man.

All right. Okay.

Hot damn.

That's it.

That's right, man. Very good.

Hi. I'm Edward.

I am Edward.

Thank you.

You'll be lonely in here,

won't you, Eddie?

I have to go to Colorado.

I have to go away.

You'll be by yourself.

But I'll come back.

Don't worry.

You won't be alone.

That's a good one.

You won't be alone.

He'll hate that

once he starts picking it up.

Showtime.

Nazis in my way.

This is my boy.

This is the darkest figure

in politics I've ever met.

We did carry that.

It was fun.

And I thank you for that,

for bringing me into a humdinger.

It's a way of

participating in politics.

I'm into local politics now, but...

that's the way it should be...

even at 22% loss.

This may not be the most cheerful

message for you to remember...

but this is mainly

the conclusion I came to.

I was very depressed after '72.

"This may be the year when we finally

come face to face with ourselves...

finally just lay back and say it.

That we are really just a nation

of 220 million used car salesmen"--

that's up to about 280 million now--

"with all the money

we need to buy guns...

and no qualms at all about

killing anybody else in the world...

who tries to make us uncomfortable."

The more things change,

the more they stay the same.

"The tragedy of all this

is that George McGovern...

for all his mistakes...

and all his imprecise talk...

about new politics...

and 'honesty in government"'--

in quotes--

"is one of the few men...

who have run for President

of the United States in this century...

who really understands

what a fantastic monument...

to all the best instincts of the human

race this country might have been...

if we could have

kept it out of the hands...

of greedy little hustlers

like Richard Nixon.

McGovern made some stupid mistakes...

but in context,

they seem almost frivolous...

compared to the things Richard Nixon

does every day of his life...

on purpose, as a matter of policy...

and a perfect expression

of everything he stands for.

Jesus. Where will it end?

How low do you have to stoop

in this country to be president?"

This is a bitch of a book.

Yeah. He would be

right next to me in the convertible...

lighting the cigarette the same way.

And it got very peculiar...

particularly

for my friends around here...

who didn't know

what to make of it.

But he was getting into his role.

The idea even came up,

as it did...

"Well, let's drive to

Freedom, Idaho tonight...

and buy some huge pistols tomorrow

in the factories up there."

Yes, sir.

He was right there.

Then we finally looked at the map

and realized it was, like...

1200 miles...

in an open convertible

and then back.

Back is the hard part.

So we had the factory

send those guns here.

They're very rare,

very hard to get.

No. The green one over here.

Boy, it gets there real fast,

and it's a big punch.

Fucking hell.

I hit all five of those,

but God, at a great price.

Okay, God's mercy on you.

No. It's going to be swollen though.

I didn't ever see

that he was getting me.

It looked like a kid...

up to some trick.

Some nasty habit that he would

grow out of pretty soon.

It made him a lot of fun.

You've done well.

Oh, absolutely.

You want me to sell books here?

Is this it?

I'm going to sit here and sell books?

Maybe if you were naked,

I might sign it for you.

Just kidding.

Who do you think threw it,

the stork?

Thank you.

Give me the drugs now, because

you will be arrested on the way out.

I'm in pain.

Why do you ask?

Be careful about doing this stuff.

I thought I'd get you by the neck.

It's an open question.

Am I supposed to do something,

or should I go out--

I want myself pictured

as I was in those days...

as an observer.

A long shot, then closing in.

That's all we need.

Sorry. I don't know the language.

I use words.

Yeah. Right.

Special effects.

I don't have any special effects.

Writers don't have any benefit of that.

Yeah, you fucking,

cheap dilettante bastards.

She looks degenerate.

She looks depraved.

Clean? Are you nuts?

That's a goddamn depraved child.

On a wild guess, I'd say

that's probably me. It's you?

Hey.Just looking at you

with that elegant mustache...

reminds me that...

I look real fucking good

in a mustache.

When are you planning

on doing this show?

Come on!

Eight hours we sit out here, and

immediately I'm starting to believe it.

Nobody has any idea.

Let's drink some whiskey, man.

Whiskey. To your health.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

That's nice of you fags.

You're the ones--

Oh, fuck!

Goddamn. Little things.

Fuck.

I was hoping it would

come around faster.

Like it would--

Yeah. Right.

A glimpse of Marlowe.

Are you going to be

in the shot with us?

You egomaniac bastard.

Here we go.

You are going to be in this.

I thought I had some marijuana.

Yeah, I was demanding marijuana.

Yeah, marijuana cometh!

The best enema movie in the decade...

is lumped into a foul category...

of predatory drug freaks.

Yeah, that's what--

Tell that to the mother of some kid...

who's stabbed in the back

by some dope fiend out of Vegas...

and blames it on this book.

Blames it on me.

You ask, Laila...

how I feel and

why I feel that way.

Well, take a look at this...

and tell me...

who caused this man's unhappiness.

That stupid, presumptuous--

All right. I don't want to hear

about your crazy shit.

You people don't have any idea

what's going on.

It's very sad.

The last postcard

from the Chateau Marmont.

Well, I have a very strong sense of...

of coming back around

and having been here before.

Your--

Your judgment is to come back

as what you deserve to be.

Now think about that, bubba.

Now, there are people

in this room I would guess--

there usually are in most rooms--

who will come back as...

three-legged dogs

on a Navajo Indian reservation...

or--

Pardon me.

No insult intended there.

Any Indian reservation.

I'm not worried about any judgments...

my karma is...

pretty good.

A lot better than most people's.

I think I'll come back

in a higher form.

I've been doing it for a while.

It's been about...

at least a thousand years...

since I've been the direct cause of--

a direct cause of death.

I have caused some pain

and some injuries...

but always to the right people.

It's never a lot of fun.

It's a lot of work.

And what you want to do is get

as much rest as you can between gigs.

I'm going to fill it with a--

a glass mixture.

I'm going to put this--

pump this down my chimney

into the house.

And it will harden

from the bottom up...

instantly.

And it will be translucent.

And people will be able

to come to the windows in front...

and see figures...

through this hazy glass cube.

So you ask?

Yeah. That's where I'll be.

I'll be in a glass cube

on the Owl Farm...

with people paying,

I don't know, $100 to look in.

I won't be around to get it.

I was gonna say--

There will be mobs coming back.

Crying on George Plimpton's shoulder.

This is my chosen time.

I happen to be--

Well, I'm not there yet, am I?

Now the objective is not

to be lead anywhere.

A very strange experience.

Profoundly strange.

They're for you.

Calla lilies.

I'll go out there and smack you

in the back of the head.

I don't mind

putting on an act for them.

All right, boys.

Lock you up here.

Lights off. I'm going to Florida.

Don't worry.

Breakfast with Hunter (2003) - full transcript