Boundaries (2018) - full transcript

I was thinking we might switch

back to seeing each other once a month.

Yeah, I'm feeling like

I'm in a really good place.

You know, like,

I've done the work.

We've done the work.

We've done it.

Have you spoken

with your father recently?

Well, I...

He called,

but I did not pick up.

He knows the conditions.

- So you set a boundary?

- Yeah.

That must have been

very difficult for you.

Not really.

No. I'm feeling

really resolute.

Like, very resolute.

So resolute, in fact...

I was thinking, is this the

best time to set a boundary?

You know, stay with me here, because

I'm wondering...

Maybe it would be best

if I did pick up.

- You know?

- I don't.

Uh, okay, well,

it wouldn't be, like,

to ask for help

or anything like that.

Like, I'm not discounting years

of disappointment, years...

And abandonment.

Well, I was going to say

missed opportunities,

but, yeah, sure, yeah,

let's just say abandonment.

Your father is incapable

of helping you, Laura.

It doesn't matter

how much you love him.

He's never gonna change.

I know. You're right.

I know.

I was just testing you that time

to see if you had softened.

Ha-ha.

You're not that little girl who needs her

father's love and attention anymore.

You're doing just fine

on your own.

I know.

Yeah, you're right. I know.

I know. You're right.

I am. I really am.

I don't know

why I keep forgetting that.

I do notice you have a kitten

hidden in your purse.

Were you hiding it from me?

No, of course not.

I wasn't hiding it from you.

I...

I found it in the,

in the parking lot.

I thought that you weren't gonna pick

up any stray animals this month.

Well, it's the 28th,

so technically,

if it was February,

it is the end of the month.

Not February.

Yeah, but I have secured a home for

this kitty, so it's different.

I think our hour is up.

Hey.

I can feed her.

I'm already up.

That would be wonderful.

Thank you, honey. Yeah.

- That douchebag sleep over?

- Yeah, he did.

Yeah. But he's actually

a pretty good guy.

I wish you'd give him

a chance.

Did you...

Oh, come on, Henry.

Just let me have one date.

How about, if you act really normal in

the morning, I'll drive you to school?

Crouton peed more blood,

but she passed the stone.

- She did?

- Yeah.

I put it in a Ziploc bag

in the fridge.

Oh, I love that you did that.

I love that. Thank you.

Hey, maybe you'll be a vet.

Wouldn't that be an

incredible end to our story?

Or I could be a taxidermist.

I think you're great.

Shh. Shh. Shh.

Taco. Taco, you get up here.

- What the fuck?

- What happened?

- Your fucking cat ran over my face.

- What?

I thought you said

no animals in the bed.

I did.

Get off! Get off!

Am I bleeding?

Uh, not really, no. Just...

It's just, like, a...

It's a little nick.

Damn it.

Jesus Christ, Laura, you have

way too many fucking animals.

Seriously. Am I gonna get

cat-scratch fever or something?

Oh, there's no such thing. There's

no such thing. Go back to bed.

I got to get out of here.

Oh, good. Good.

- That's fucking great.

- Tino!

- Yeah.

- Oh, I...

This is really out of

the ordinary, I swear.

People are usually like,

"You have nine animals?

"It only seems like

you have four."

Laura, I think you're great.

I really do.

And it's super cool

what you're doing here,

and you're probably gonna go

to fucking Heaven or whatever,

and that's fucking awesome, but

I gotta be honest with you.

This... This is...

It's fucking disgusting. Uh...

- Jim.

- What?

Before you leave, I, uh...

I sketched you last night.

From what I hear,

it's more of a parting gift.

- I don't want it.

- I don't actually know what you look like naked.

I just paint what I feel

you look like naked.

This is so not cool, Henry.

Like, really not cool.

- I liked him.

- No, you didn't.

Not for you to decide.

And no more drawings.

Not unless you've known

someone for at least a year.

That's like three people.

Well, you're stuck drawing

naked pictures of me, then.

That's your punishment.

Did somebody pee? I smell pee.

Did someone pee on my jacket?

Yeah, there it is. Gross.

He called last night, too.

Did you answer?

It's okay if you did.

I just want to know.

I didn't.

How long are you

gonna screen him?

So, what time today?

You better figure I'll get a

detention, so to be safe, 5:00?

Maybe today you won't.

We're running the mile.

It'll be me and all the girls on

their period trailing the rear.

Okay, well, just try not to do

anything stupid, just for this week.

Uh, I don't want to see

that principal again.

- What will you give me?

- My love.

I already have it.

- Good morning, Mr. Buckner, Jenn.

- Hi.

Griselda.

Can I see Sofia for a minute?

You're late

for work again, Laura.

You have five minutes.

And don't say anything

about her skin.

Her skin?

- Sandrine, that's for you.

- Thank you.

- Serg?

- Hey.

- Not again.

- Please?

- Can you watch her just for a minute?

- Oh...

Hey, beautiful.

Yeah, just don't drop her

in a pot.

Put her under your shirt.

- Keep her warm.

- Oh, with the rest of them?

Hey.

And the school is amazing.

They actually

emphasize the arts.

Uh, physical education isn't

even a part of their curriculum,

you know, which for Henry

is very meaningful.

I... I know it's a lot of

money, but I could work it off

while Henry goes to school.

Yeah,

it is very expensive, Laura.

I know.

I know. I wouldn't be asking if you

weren't the only person I could ask.

Oh, it's another RSVP

for True's sweet 16.

God, that makes 150.

Is anyone not coming?

I mean, you want all these

things for your kids,

and then you get them, there's

another whole set of problems.

You're looking at my skin,

aren't you?

Oh, there's just

one little piece.

No, no, no, the doctor said you have

to let it all come off naturally.

That's why the new skin

looks so young and fragile.

I know. Yeah, but there's

just one little piece.

Yeah, yeah, do I try and pick the

animal hair off your sweaters?

No, because there's too much.

Ew, Mom, I literally

can't look at you.

That better heal

before my party.

No, no, it's practically

healed now.

Look.

Sisters.

You are disgusting.

What?

Did you book

the white tiger?

I was planning on it,

and just as I was about to,

I thought to myself,

does a white tiger really want

- to attend a sweet 16?

- Yes.

Because Kayla Drew had one at her

party, and it was, like, amazing.

Yeah, well, they are on... On

the endangered species list.

And just because one guy

probably illegally

has one that he rents out

to parties...

- Yes, you're going to book it, right?

- Sure.

Uh, although, you may be losing Henry

and some other animal lovers as guests.

I wasn't really planning

on inviting Henry.

It's just not really

his crowd, you know?

Besides, I saw him having lunch

with a squirrel last week.

They were talking

and everything.

It was really weird.

I have to go get a mani-pedi.

See you bitches later.

With a squirrel, Laura. Oh...

It's fine.

Did she pick up?

- She did not.

- Surprise, surprise.

Well, I'm afraid

the decision is final, Jack.

We can't have men of such low moral

integrity bringing down the place.

Oh, please.

You geriatric sons of bitches know

that this place is a total shit box.

Uh, we may not have much, but

we do have respect for the law.

Oh, I'm afraid I find that

quality very overrated.

Then off you go.

Be sure to send us a postcard from

whatever jail cell you end up in.

I think we should give Jack

one more chance.

Third time's a charm.

I appreciate it.

Perhaps we should all take a

page out of Harriet's playbook.

Oh, cut the bullshit, Jack.

We tried to make it work, but you

really shit the bed this time, Jack.

Ms. Jaconi.

Uh...

This clearly was an accident.

Henry would never intentionally

slap anyone. Right, Henry?

Well, I meant to slap Jeremy, but she

dove in front of him like he was Obama.

Henry, why slap?

Boys really

shouldn't be slapping.

Slapping is a distant cousin

to hair pulling.

Well, I thought it would

be better than scratching.

Okay, well,

that's hard to say,

but the more important point

here is,

is Henry clearly would never

hit a woman on purpose.

All right? He's been raised by a

single mom, for Christ's sakes.

But he would hit

a faculty member?

I think

that's been established.

Could we start

Henry's suspension next week?

I have potentially

a very hectic week.

Henry is not suspended.

He's expelled.

Expelled? Why?

For this.

Henry requires more attention

than we can provide.

I gave you the list of

specialty schools last month.

I suggest you start

making some phone calls.

What am I doing wrong, Henry?

- What?

- Nothing.

Well, I'm obviously

doing something.

You know, we can't afford

a private school.

Then I'll just drop out

and take my GED.

Not an option.

You are graduating.

- You didn't.

- Well, and look at me.

I didn't raise you

to be like me.

The whole point of kids is

to make them better than you

so they can support you

later in life.

- I thought we'd be roommates for life.

- That's weird.

I want a guest cottage in the back

where you and your wife live.

Or your husband.

Jesus, I'm not gay.

How many times

do I have to tell you that?

Ignore this.

I want you to be happy.

Would a specialty school

make you happy?

I don't know.

- Would the other kids be weird like me?

- Probably. Weirder, even.

I think I'd like it.

Yeah.

I fucking hate Taylor Swift.

Well, she actually writes

her own songs.

She's pretty cool, sweetie.

But I see what you mean.

Yeah.

Hmm...

Oh, you finally called me back.

I need help.

- With Henry. I need money.

- How much?

- A lot.

- Well...

I'm in trouble, too. Maybe

you didn't think of that.

You got kicked out

of your home, didn't you?

Yeah, all that bullshit

about my side ventures

not being up to their standards.

Please!

Anyways, uh...

I've got to find

somewhere to crash,

or they'll put me in a state-run

home with all the loony tunes.

No, you can't, Dad.

You can't stay here.

I gotta look out

for me and Henry.

Uh, why don't I help you?

You get me out

of here, I get you the money.

You have that kind of money?

I could get it.

Look, uh, I'm in a bit

of a situation here, Laura.

I don't know how

to get out of this one.

Well, I...

I'm sure you'll figure

something out.

Anyways, I have until 10:00 tomorrow

morning before they ship me off.

I haven't given up yet.

Hold on. I gotta take this,

you guys.

Stand by.

Jojo here.

Jojo, it's Laura.

Laura!

You'll never guess

what I watched last night.

Karate Kid.

Remember when you used to call me

Jojo-san, and I'd call you Laura-san?

It's from Karate Kid.

- It's a movie.

- Listen to me, Jojo.

Dad got kicked out

of his home.

He needs a place to stay.

Oh, no. Papa-san.

What did he do?

Watch it!

Hey, who knows? I have no idea.

He fucked up again.

But I... I'm picking him up, and

I need him to stay with you.

I don't know, Laura.

Last time Dad

stayed with me,

the FBI followed me

to work for a week.

It was really intense.

I would take him, but he is a

horrible example for Henry.

You gotta agree

with me on that.

Yeah, I do, I do.

Does this mean

I'll get to see you guys?

No, I would put him

on a plane.

Laura, please come.

Oh, It would be so fun.

We could watch Karate Kid, you know?

We could eat Captain Crunch.

- Next time.

- Hey, does Henry

still take pictures

of dead animals?

No. No,

he just draws people naked.

Oh, that's sweet.

Well, I hope he has

enough energy to draw me.

Oh, fuck!

Oh...

They haven't taken him yet,

have they?

Taken who?

Jack Jaconi, my father.

Oh, he should be out

any minute.

He said that you

were coming for him.

He said I was coming?

Yeah, he said you'd be here

at 10:00 on the dot.

Of course, he did.

You got played.

What's the scowl for?

You knew I was coming?

I had a feeling.

Uh, she's very moody, my daughter.

Always has been.

Hey, Hoight.

Come with me. I want to

say goodbye to my garden.

I probably shouldn't leave

my mom.

- Of course, you should.

- No. Excuse me.

Please don't write that.

Please don't...

Give her a chance to stop that

cop from writing her a ticket.

Ten bucks. Ten bucks.

I bet you can hardly believe,

considering your mother can barely

keep a piece of hair alive,

that your grandfather's

got a green thumb.

I'm not really into gardening.

Well, maybe what's in the shed

will change your mind.

I'm too old to molest,

you know.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You couldn't get molested

with a bow in your hair.

Even pedophiles know to steer

clear of your bad vibes.

Know what this is?

Holy shit.

This is not the shwag

weed you cheapos smoke.

No, sir.

Uh, a French whore I once

admired fed a bud to my cat,

and she shit out

one of the seeds.

Oh, yeah,

this is the good stuff.

It came from a cat's ass?

Well, yeah, had to.

How else was I going to

get it in the country?

I don't know.

Now, I need you

to put this down your pants.

Yeah? Can you do that for me?

Why don't you put it

down your pants?

Because I am wearing

adult diapers.

Just stuff it in,

you little chickenshit.

Your mother's about to give me a real

hard time for taking the Rolls-Royce,

so I need something to get

her voice out of my head.

Absolutely not.

It's all I got.

Then you drive it.

We had a deal. I get you to

L.A., you get me the money.

If you want to keep the car

so bad, then you drive it.

Yeah, those assholes over at

DMV took my license away.

I couldn't pass the eye exam.

And I was hoping we could

use some time together.

Yes, we could.

Twenty years ago.

It's not happening, Dad.

I got you

the plane ticket already,

so send the money

when you land.

Come on, Henry.

I have set a boundary.

It's set. It's a line in the sand.

In the concrete, actually.

I'm not driving

that heap cross-country.

You are not commandeering

this trip already.

You have done nothing

to earn this.

- And we're doing you a favor.

- Well, I appreciate that,

but I'd like to spend

some time with you two.

I hardly know Hoight.

And I'd like to discover

more things I like about you.

Oh, God.

Hey, look. Laura.

I...

I didn't want to tell you

this, actually, but...

Uh, the truth is...

I haven't much time left.

I'm... I'm dying, Laura.

The doctor gave me the news

a few days ago.

My prostate cancer's

come back.

I'd be a goner on a plane.

I've got a blood clot

in my leg,

and when we get

to high elevation,

it could...

Go straight to my heart.

That's where it's headed.

This is a trick. This is

another one of your schemes.

I wish it was.

So, why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want to...

Didn't want to worry you.

I knew how busy you are.

It doesn't matter.

You should have told me.

Well, I am, now.

What do you say?

How about spending

some time together?

You're dying?

Sure as hell am.

Really dying?

Stage-four dying.

I will be on my cell

the whole time.

And how many days?

Like, two at the most.

Three at the very, very most.

What about the party?

I'll be back

to help with the deliveries.

Just give me something good,

like boils or meningitis.

- Can that go away in two days?

- Oh...

- How often do I feed this one?

- Every four hours.

- 24/7?

- Anything you want. Literally.

My son. My good organs.

I owe you my life.

I want a date.

I said anything you want.

I want a date with you.

No, I am a mess. I can't...

I can't date people I like.

It wouldn't be fair to them.

Well, I won't do it.

You want a date?

- With me? With this?

- Yes.

Yes.

I have faith that I haven't

seen the best of you.

Laura!

Shit! Okay.

Just give me something good.

- Go.

- Okay.

Why did he only take

five of them?

It's a horror show back there.

Well, these have more special

needs than the others.

Well, one need

should be a new face.

Those are two of the ugliest

dogs I've ever seen.

♪♪ I wanna rock now

♪♪ Rock this joint tonight

♪♪ Oh, I wanna rock now

♪♪ Rock this joint tonight

♪♪ I feel like partying ♪♪

- There's an old bow and arrow back here.

- Uh, uh, uh, don't touch.

I'm trying to get on Antiques Roadshow.

That's worth a fortune!

Or nothing. I'm not positive.

Why is the car shaking?

Did you fill her up

before we started?

Why would I fill it up?

Well, who goes on a road trip

without filling up the tank?

It's not even my car!

Hey. Be calm, be calm.

How can I stay calm?

We're gonna get rear-ended.

- Can I get over there?

- Yeah, yeah, now.

You better get out and push.

- Me? Why not you?

- I'm 85. I don't push.

God damn it.

I've got to

change my diaper.

I'll see you

chickenshits later.

I have emotional amnesia.

I don't know why

I said yes to this.

Mom, you just need

to stick to the course, okay?

Okay.

Oregon tonight, San Francisco

tomorrow, L.A. on Friday, okay?

If we, if we just stick

to the schedule exactly,

this will be a blip

in our lives.

Oh, God, I had a feeling.

Oh, God. I knew this was

that kind of a neighborhood.

I knew it.

What kind of neighborhood?

The kind that doesn't spay

or neuter.

He looks like a runner.

Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no!

Stay.

Mom,

we have too many dogs.

I know, Henry. Jesus.

I live in our house.

Relax. I'm just saying.

Okay. All right.

If I...

If I call it over and it runs,

then... Then we just

let it run, right?

It does look like a runner.

It's definitely a runner.

And I don't have my good shoes

or my kit,

so I'm not going to go chase

after it, right?

That's a runner

if I ever saw one.

Yeah, it's gonna run.

Come here, puppy.

Come here.

Fuck.

No tag, no collar.

She's been on the streets

for a while.

Oh, God, she's cute.

Don't look at her.

- Who the hell's that?

- Nobody.

Nobody. She probably belongs to

the owner across the street.

Well, maybe she belongs

to the gas station.

She belongs to me.

They all do.

Can't you tell?

She knew I would be here.

She knew. She knew.

They all know.

All of them. They all know.

Jesus.

You're like the Pied Piper

of mange.

♪♪ Congratulations, honey

♪♪ If you found somebody new

♪♪ Yeah, congratulations, honey

If you found... ♪♪

Well, that took

barely a minute,

and we picked up a dog

along the way.

I'd call it a success.

Yeah, that's exactly how I envisioned

the first hour of this trip.

One more thing to hide

from my therapist.

Where did you

get this negativity?

You used to laugh more.

- I used to be able to make you laugh.

- You never made me laugh.

I was always laughing.

Yeah, at me.

Well, I had to.

It was either that or cry.

You better let go

of some of that anger,

or you'll end up

a pissed-off old spinster.

You're about one

four-legged creature away.

Dad. Dad.

Oh, that's so funny!

Oh, thank you, Father.

Thank you so much.

Like... Like I need to worry

about being a spinster,

on top of all the other things that

I'm constantly worrying about.

That's... That's...

I mean, as if there isn't

enough social media

telling me that I need

to find a man. Yeah.

What? What?

I'm not getting the signals!

What? What? I need a man?

How bad is it to be alone?

I can't hear. What?

Oh... See? I still laugh.

I didn't buy it.

♪♪ Just as glad as I could be

♪♪ Yeah

Oh, yeah

♪♪ Go along

and have your fun... ♪♪

Where are we?

Where did... Where...

Is there really

a CPK around here?

What is going on?

Did you change my navigation?

Huh?

Did you change this?

Yeah.

This is the wrong route.

What... Did you do this?

You changed it? Henry!

He gave me $20 when you

were in the gas station.

Okay, no.

No, there's not gonna be any weird

little pit stops along the way.

No, we have to make it

to California by Friday.

- Well...

- No.

Stanley is already

expecting us.

He may even have dinner ready.

Stanley, art forger Stanley? No,

he's involved in illegal activity.

I don't want Henry anywhere near him.

Absolutely not.

We have to be in California

by Friday.

What kind of illegal activity?

Well, the good kind,

of course.

Absolutely not. No.

We are staying at a Red Roof.

The only known criminal we're

spending time with is you.

Well, we're here.

I hope that line of yours

is powder.

Hey! Shit.

Here's the son of a bitch.

Oh, man.

- Who are these people?

- Old friends of your grandfather's.

Don't inhale anything.

Well, hello.

- Hi, Stan.

- Don't you look beautiful.

Oh. You look

just like your mother.

God rest her soul.

Where is your precious

little baby?

Hi.

Oh, my God.

Isn't he gorgeous?

Hey. Come on in.

You remember Jed?

- Hi, Jed.

- Hey! Hey!

Hey, give me a hug,

you old cripple.

- I like you, Jack.

- I know you do.

He's been talking about you

for two days straight.

They Skype each other

every Saturday night.

Jack, will you Skype with me?

Well, no,

now I'm here in person.

You can see how handsome I am,

you know, so close up.

Uh, tell Jed, uh, to show you

his room, Laura.

Okay. All right.

But only just for a minute,

because this was supposed

to be a very quick trip.

Oh, nonsense.

I've got dinner on the stove,

and the guest room sheets

have barely been slept in.

- Oh, wonderful.

- Yeah, be there in a minute, Stan.

Yeah, I'm on it, Sofia. Prada

wallets for the gift bags. Done.

Um, no, yes,

boils are very contagious,

but I think it's best that I

work from home for a few days.

No, don't be concerned

about yourself.

I'm sure it's just

an ingrown hair.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

- Sorry.

- A little more. A little more.

Sorry, it's just my boss.

Making the deals and mergers.

I always knew you'd be

a successful businesswoman.

- I'm not a businesswoman.

- No, she's an executive.

Assistant.

I'm an executive assistant.

Yeah, well,

"executive" is in it, yeah?

This tastes like candy corn.

Well, it should, because

it's a candy corn casserole.

- Really?

- Hmm.

Jed loves candy corn.

Every bite

has something sweet.

I like candy corn, Jack.

So do I, Jed.

Not only on Halloween.

It's been too long.

What happened to that

wonderful husband of yours?

He left us.

No.

Well, he left me,

actually, not Henry.

- He left me, too.

- Oh...

Well, he has chronic fatigue, so basically

he was too tired to love us properly.

Well, I'd still like to

string him up by his feet.

We're all each other has got.

And it just tickles me

to death

to see you and your father

spending time together.

He talks about you

all the time.

Yeah, mostly complaints.

Family.

That's all there is.

Isn't that right, Jed?

- Do you like me, Jack?

- Sure do.

- Are you my friend, Jack?

- Sure am.

Fuck yeah.

I feel the same way.

"Fuck yeah."

Uh, thank you, Hoight.

You're a man of your word.

Now, where did you

put the plant?

What do you mean?

I still have it down my pants.

Oh, geez.

I think it gave me a rash.

I don't want to hear

about your rash.

Now, the point is,

I can trust you, huh?

Do you know why we're here?

To visit Stanley and his son?

That, and?

I don't know. To annoy my mom?

I'm a drug dealer, Hoight.

I know I may look out of my prime,

but I'm just getting started.

There's $200,000 worth

of weed in there.

Go on, now. Take a look.

We've been driving

with this in the car?

- That's real illegal.

- Oh, you sound like your mother.

I thought

I could tell you things.

She's gonna be really pissed.

All my customers are lined up.

I need a partner.

I can't unload it on my own.

Partner?

What kind of partner?

You help me

get rid of the weed,

and I'll send you money

on your birthday.

That's what

normal grandpas do, anyway.

Great. Then you'll be getting

what you've always wanted.

Would we all go to jail

if we got caught, or just you?

Just me, you little shit.

I also wrote a note,

just in case.

"This weed is property of Jack Jaconi.

Thank you for your time."

You think it'll hold up

in court?

It should.

All right. I'll help you.

Well, Lindsay Lohan seems to be

getting her act together, isn't she?

- I'm pulling for her.

- Yeah, me too, Jack.

And Boy George is a Buddhist.

I knew I liked him.

Oh, my God, this kid,

Macaulay Culkin.

Oh, is he going

through some shit.

I'm tired.

- Well, I guess this is good night.

- Oh, yeah.

Sure. Sure is.

Well, good night.

Night.

You know...

I don't want this

to seem like an apology,

but, uh, I shouldn't have

complained about staying here.

You know, Stanley is so nice, and Jed is

great, and it's just nice to see them.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. No problem.

So, uh, so, here's to a super

fun, but straightforward trip.

I'm glad we're getting

to spend some time together.

And thank you for the money.

Okay.

Hey, are you going to

sleep with Loretta?

Why? Do you want to?

Yeah. Why not?

Well, yeah, listen. Yeah.

I'm an asshole, Loretta.

I really am.

I don't deserve this.

You're just like

all the other girls. Huh?

Your heart's too big.

Uh, anyone care to join me

in the Jacuzzi?

No, thank you.

No? Laura.

No, thanks.

Oh...

All right, then.

Good morning!

Where is everyone?

They went

to Little Big Burger.

But it's 7:00 a.m.

Well, you can call them, put

in your order, if you like.

I'm sorry. I'm just nervous.

There's no need to be nervous.

Did you measure it out?

I put it in a diaper bag.

Yeah, good. Good.

I'll, uh, take it from there.

Your only job is to act like you

don't give a shit. Can you do that?

Jed, can you act cool?

Uh, I'm cool.

Take a lesson from Jed.

Jesus. That was cool?

Sorry.

Scared of some Buddhist monks?

I've had more capable partners

in a game of charades.

Goodbye, Jack.

Uh...

That's too much.

Enjoy it, you sly dog.

Arrivederci.

- Arrivederci.

- Bye.

Hey. Hey!

Stop at the next rest stop.

I need to change my diaper.

Okay, you don't have

to say that.

You can just say,

"I have to use the restroom."

- Hoight, hand me a diaper.

- Just saying, you know?

Asking for a diaper

as opposed to

asking for a restroom

is a little candid.

Some people might think

that's rude.

Well, I think they're rude.

Judging a man by his diapers.

I don't like the fact

that I have to wear them.

Sofia, I know

you're frustrated,

but it's going to be

a couple of days. I...

Well, no,

I know you didn't see them,

because they're in my scalp

and on my feet.

♪♪ Cruising on the highway

With my friend's top down

♪♪ And we're all on our way

It's itching

like you can't even imagine.

You thought your face... A bunch

of confirmation calls back.

♪♪ Laughing at the those cars

we are passing

♪♪ As we're sucking down

that funny funny weed

♪♪ Oh yeah

What is that smell? Do you smell that?

It smells like pot.

It's patchouli. I wear it now.

Gross.

I think it might attract

a different kind of girl.

Found him near the bathroom.

I think he's a little blind.

What? Why? No, no, no!

We cannot take any more dogs.

Of course you can.

I mean, what sort of person would

have dumped old milky eyes?

♪♪ Oh yeah

♪♪ Yeah

♪♪ Walks in sandy dunes

Hot day, mid-June

♪♪ Naked kids, running wild,

and free

♪♪ Yeah

♪♪ Oh yeah

♪♪ Oh yeah ♪♪

Yeah, you're a pretty

good partner, uh, Hoight.

I never thought of myself as a

drug dealer, but I enjoy it.

I might continue

down this path.

Oh, no, no, no. The drug

dealing isn't for you.

That was a temporary job. You

can move on to better products.

- Like cocaine?

- No.

Like your art,

you little shit.

My drawings freak people out.

Yeah, well,

all good art does that.

Yeah, take a

look, uh, at that fellow, Crumb.

- I mean, he made a decent living.

- Crumb?

Yeah, you know,

the guy who took all that LSD.

I mean, you could do

something like that.

But I don't want

to take a lot of LSD.

You don't have to.

But people will be talking

about your art.

What if they're only saying

bad things?

Doesn't matter. It's the talk.

And, uh, I think that,

you know,

all those

weird drawings you do,

they're all right,

they're all right.

I just don't want to be seen in

one of them one day, you know.

Okay?

I don't know why you

complained about Jack so much.

I like him.

I didn't.

I used to overhear you and Dad

talking about him in the bathroom.

Oh.

Do you miss

having a guy around?

No.

I figured out

how to masturbate on my own.

I just like his vibe.

He said, if he's still alive

next summer,

he'd take me to Venezuela and we'd

hitchhike across the country.

- Oh, yeah?

- Or the Cayman Islands.

He said I really need

to see the Cayman Islands.

Wouldn't get

too attached, sweetheart.

You know, he's just

a temporary situation.

You don't know that.

Maybe I'll want to spend

more time with him after this.

No, I mean we're a temporary

situation for him.

There's a reason

he doesn't know your name.

Maybe he just had to be

reminded of how cool we were,

and he'll want to hang out

with us from now on.

Yeah, maybe.

Oh, sorry.

Blind Poodle wanted

to smoke a little before bed.

Don't hurt my kid.

I'm fine, I got through it,

but he's different.

Jesus, I'm not gonna hurt

the little shit.

Okay, because he's sensitive.

He... He can't handle the

disappointment, okay? And...

And you have more power

than you know.

You... You make people fall in

love with you, and then you leave.

And he's not like me.

Okay, I know the drill. I've

been through it my whole life.

But he's already gotten it

from his dad,

and he doesn't need it

from you, too.

His chronic-fatigue dad?

Well, I never said he was professionally

diagnosed, but, yeah, it could be true.

I'd hate to hear what you told,

uh, the little shit about me.

What did you tell him

about me?

- I said that you were temporary.

- Oh... Oh...

That you are

a temporary situation.

Well, good.

That's about right.

Okay. Well, it's better

- that he knows now.

- Sure.

So this way he will

not be disappointed.

- Sure.

- Okay.

Mom, what's wrong?

I was just imagining what

it would be like if you died.

I was at a funeral, and

there were a lot of people.

I hate it when you do that.

You were in a terrible head-on

collision, and it was a closed casket.

Enough.

I know. I'm sorry.

I can't help it.

I just love you so much.

Well, she's all right,

your mother.

She's doing her best.

Was she always like this?

Well, she's always had a thing about

people who aren't worthy of her.

Yeah. She can't help it.

She... She likes an underdog.

That's why

she likes you so much.

- Well, I don't know about that.

- She does. She told me.

She wants you to live with us

and not with Jojo.

She said that?

Well, I am about to

become her least favorite person

for the 35th year running.

What'd you do now?

Well, you see all this?

Your mom's not going to like

to know who that's going to.

I might need it

to come from you.

I don't know any

of your customers.

- Oh, you know one.

- Who?

Uh, your father.

Yeah, he placed a pretty big order,

and I can't afford to skip it.

But I don't want

to see my dad.

Well, that's a little extreme.

- What did he ever do to you?

- He left us.

Well, he's chronically fatigued.

I mean, give the guy a break.

- So, I've been thinking.

- Yeah?

Since we're gonna

pass through Sausalito...

No.

You don't know what

I'm gonna ask.

- Okay, go ahead.

- No.

- You've already said no.

- Good.

I want to see him.

It's been three years.

Why? Are we not enough?

Uh, don't bring me into this.

Pretend you're a therapist

right now.

- Okay. Do you need closure?

- Yes.

No.

Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm.

No.

The truth is,

I've been feeling like something's

missing for a long time,

and I don't know if he's the answer

or not, but I have questions.

I deserve to know why he left.

You want to know why

I have no friends?

Because the guys in the locker

room call me a bastard.

You didn't tell me that.

Not really.

I didn't want to make you

feel bad.

But I think it explains a lot.

Like why I'm not thriving at

school like we all expected.

Why I'm underweight. School

wasn't a safe space for me, and,

and now

I'm left with questions.

Questions only he can answer.

- I didn't know you cared so much.

- Of course I do.

You know one of the qualities

of my essence is sensitivity.

No.

Shit.

Okay, we can stop. Okay.

And I will be with you

the whole time.

♪♪ There's something

on my mind

♪♪ I gotta say, love

♪♪ So you know how I feel

♪♪ When I'm away, love

♪♪ I'm glad I knew you

♪♪ I'm glad I knew you

♪♪ I'm glad I knew you

a while... ♪♪

- Are you okay with this?

- You're asking me now?

Well, I know how you

get around him.

It was humiliating

for a father,

seeing you run after him

in high school.

And those posters you made.

- Oh, my God.

- I was 17.

- Yeah, couldn't take a hint, huh?

- Jack Jaconi?

Uh...

Jesus Christ, man.

I was sure you were dead.

And I remember

you being better-looking.

Good thing we're both wrong.

You remember your ex-wife?

Yeah, sure.

Sure I do.

Well, aren't you a sight

for sore eyes.

Hi, Leonard.

Hey, kid.

How old are you now?

You do the math.

He takes a little

getting used to.

Come on with me to the car.

I've got about

14 more dogs there.

You can give me a hand.

How do you want to do this?

Do you want me by your side, or

do you want to talk to him alone?

- I don't really care anymore.

- What?

I got the answer I needed. He's

just a, he's just a douche.

So, hey,

what's your problem, kid?

That supposed to be me?

It's your soul.

I mean,

it was really small.

Yeah, accurate.

That's not nice.

What? He's angry.

And he has every right to be.

I don't blame him,

I guess, little shit.

Come on, one more,

for old time's sake.

You...

Mmm...

You know,

I'm real happy to see you

and your old man

get along so well.

Yeah.

I'm working on letting it go.

- In with the good, out with the bad.

- Right.

Yeah, so he wasn't there ever.

- Who needs someone around all the time?

- Right.

So he...

He never drove carpool.

So he bought my first car with the

money he got beating a Belgian casino.

- That's pretty cool, isn't it?

- You're a wise woman.

I'm not trying

to change anyone, you know?

An elephant will always

be an elephant.

- He will never be a monkey.

- A monkey.

Yes, I learned that from you.

You look lonely.

Yeah, I am.

Hey, Kirkie.

I thought you could use

some more product.

Uh, no, no,

I'm leaving the business.

Looking for something

more family-oriented.

Marijuana's about to be legal

anyway, so it's lost its fun.

Just want to get

rid of it, that's all.

No, no, no, everything,

everything's fine. Well...

Oh, just want to give you

the best deal of your life.

What are you doing?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

Go to sleep. Go back to sleep.

I miss this.

Like waking up

in a jigsaw puzzle.

I can't move my leg.

Well, I wouldn't...

Yeah, I wouldn't.

That brown one

looks like he's comfortable.

You save all these guys?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

- Some things never change, huh?

You're gonna save me

one of these days.

Do you have any spare cash?

I need to send Henry

to a special school.

What's wrong with him?

He's gay, or socially awkward,

or brilliant.

Maybe all three.

Things are kind of tight

around here.

Wait, what about Sofia?

You still working for her?

- Can't you ask her?

- No, I did.

Working for her is really

complicating our friendship.

What friendship? She always

treated you like shit.

She isn't all that bad.

I just wish I didn't have to

go back and work for her.

Well, we all

gotta work, honey.

What do you do?

- What do I do?

- Mm-hmm.

I do a little of this.

A little of this.

A lot of this.

Leonard. Leonard.

Leonard, come on. I'm serious.

I'm serious.

- Okay? Our kid needs help.

- Well, we all need help, honey.

Look, in fact...

I was kind of hoping that I might be

able to borrow some cash from you.

- I'm thinking of going to Venezuela.

- Okay.

- And then...

- Do you care about Henry at all?

Well, sure I do,

but you know me. I...

I'm not good

at that kind of stuff.

You're not good at what stuff?

Loving your son? Taking care of him?

Being responsible?

Yeah. Yeah, but you know what?

You're good at that,

and so the good news is,

you know,

we balance each other out.

- Fuck.

- What? What?

- I'm so fucked up.

- No, no, no. Come on.

No, honey, come on.

Hey, hey, hey.

- No, no. Come on.

- No.

- Stay here. Come on.

- No. Ew, ew.

- Stay here.

- I'm so fucked up!

I can't even

tell my therapist everything.

That's how fucked up I am.

So fucked up.

You know what?

I think you might be

my father.

You even wear

the same deodorant.

Right, well, you know what?

I'm not your father.

Your father's me.

Oh, God.

I was messed up when I met

you, and 18 years later,

I still

haven't learned anything.

I am literally

going backwards.

You know, you don't give

yourself enough credit, Laura.

You're smarter than you think.

You do a lot of smart shit.

Like what?

Like divorcing me. That's big.

You know what?

You know, a lot of women, they

get all wrapped up in all this,

but you bailed

at exactly the right time.

I mean, it wasn't gonna get

any better.

- It wasn't?

- Mm, it wasn't.

I mean, all them promises,

they were bullshit, you know?

I wasn't gonna change,

and I still aren't.

- So what are you saying?

- I'm saying exactly what I'm saying.

- You are, aren't you?

- Yeah.

I mean, I tell Misty

that all the time.

Please tell me Misty

is your cat.

You want me to tell you

Misty's my cat?

- Who is she?

- My cat.

- She's your wife, isn't she?

- She is.

- Jesus! Fuck!

- Come on, I didn't tell you

'cause I knew

you'd freak out like this.

Okay, you know what? Okay.

So, what, and you tricked me

into sleeping with you?

Well, I didn't have

to do much.

You know what?

You are a lousy father,

and you're a lousy ex,

and we both deserve better.

Good for you! Hey, Laura!

Good for you, honey!

You're a lot tougher

than you think.

Hey, Laura?

Laura?

Hey.

He's married, and I still

want to be with him.

It's disgusting.

He might as well be you.

I chose the worst possible

father for my son,

the worst possible man for me.

Eighty percent of the time,

I feel like total shit.

Well, 20% is a pretty good

amount of time to feel decent.

Just tell me it's gonna be okay.

Can you tell me that?

I don't know what it's going to

be like, but I might have a plan.

It's knee-jerk,

but it might work.

What should I do?

Well, just keep doing

what you're doing,

but, uh, don't take

any more bullshit.

- You mean no more dogs?

- No.

I mean no more lying

sons of bitches like Leonard.

Hoight, get your things.

We're leaving.

Come here, Leonard.

What...

What's the matter, Jack?

Now, I'm not the type of man who throws a

sucker punch, so this is your warning.

I'm going to hit you now.

Now, you listen good, 'cause I'm

only going to say this once.

You stay away from my daughter

and my grandson. You hear me?

If you mess with them one more time,

I'll make sure it's your last.

Jesus Christ, Jack.

I thought you were a Buddhist.

Oh, I am.

But you bring out the

right-wing Christian in me.

Hey!

Hey.

You, you really think

I give a shit?

Your whole family's crazy.

I mean, whoever heard

of a family drug deal, anyway?

How much pot you have

back there, Jack?

Oh, you mean you don't know?

Well...

Well, look in the trunk, sweetheart.

You're a drug mule.

At least I never dragged her

into any of my scores, Jack.

- What's he talking about?

- Nothing.

Open the trunk.

- Do you promise not to be mad?

- Open it.

Yeah, there's nothing

in there, Henry.

He's just trying to stir up trouble.

That's all.

Don't open it.

- Don't you trust us, Mom?

- Open the trunk!

Yeah, come on.

I couldn't let you

throw out good product.

Is she dying?

No, she's not dying. Let me

work on her for a second.

- Don't.

- Look,

I know how much you must

hate me right now, but,

but I don't think you're capable

of turning your father in.

You don't know me at all.

I do, and I don't think

you would do that.

I am a mother. I could be arrested.

Uh, Henry could be arrested.

No one

is going to be arrested.

You... You don't know that.

We don't all have your luck.

I was trying to help the kid.

You told me you needed help.

And this was your solution?

Trafficking drugs across the country?

You know what?

I don't know why I bother.

I mean, you just...

You just can't...

You can't live without being

a victim, can you? Huh?

You'd rather suffer

than see the good in a situation.

Well, I nearly got enough

for Henry's education.

I'm not paying for Henry's

school with drug money!

Oh, yeah, punish the kid.

That's smart.

Oh, don't you dare turn

this around on me. I am mad!

I'm the one that's mad.

You disappointed me. Again!

Again? I didn't know you were counting.

How many times is it?

My entire childhood. One

disappointment after the next.

You never came through. Dad, you

never came through. Not once.

Well, you're living,

you're breathing.

I sure as hell

didn't kill you.

Oh, thank you so much for supplying

the basics, Dad. Thank you.

The food and the water

were brilliant.

- Thank you!

- Now you're being dramatic.

You... You don't have a clue,

do you?

How much time I spent

waiting for you to show up.

Disappearing for weeks on end,

never being reachable when I

was getting my heart broken.

Leaving me alone to take care of

Jojo in that shitty apartment.

I spent

my entire childhood scared.

Why weren't you there?

I needed you, Dad.

Did you hear what I said?

I said I needed you.

I'm sorry you were scared.

Please tell me

that you are dying.

You didn't lie about that,

did you?

At least, please, please,

tell me that that's true.

We're all dying, really.

I'm done. I'm done.

I am so done!

You can drive your own drugs

around from now on.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- You know what?

And find your own ride to L.A.

because we are done.

You're really acting crazy.

It's you that's going to

get us arrested.

You know,

and you are selfish.

You are absolutely incapable of

putting anyone else before yourself.

Maybe you could be happier

if you did the same.

I mean, you wouldn't be so

goddamn miserable all the time.

- Grandpa.

- No.

Stay out of this, Hoight.

Your mother has lost

all rational thought.

Don't tell me how to feel.

You don't get to tell me

anything anymore.

I am angry, and I'm not burying

any more shit for your sake.

- Mom. Mom.

- Henry, it's fine!

There's a cop coming.

Jesus Christ.

Pick up the weed!

- All right.

- Pick it up!

- All right, now, stay cool.

- Pick up all the weed!

- Pick it up.

- Stay cool.

- Jesus. Hurry.

- Don't go wild on me.

- Move slow.

- Henry, put it in.

- Put it in the truck. Henry!

- Move slow.

Just... Okay, Dad,

get in the car.

That's too slow.

Get in the car!

All right, all right. Okay.

Close the trunk!

- Stuff this down your pants.

- I don't have any room.

- Stop throwing it around.

- Hey. This, too.

Smells like a Grateful

Dead concert in here.

Hello.

License and registration.

Sure.

Is there anything

wrong, Officer?

You want to tell me what you

were doing outside your vehicle?

Oh, right, the diapers.

My father's diapers

flew out the window,

and we pulled over

to pick it up.

He has cancer.

My father has cancer.

Very bad cancer.

- All these animals belong to you?

- Yes.

Is that your son

in the back, laughing?

That is my son,

but I believe he's crying.

- Shit.

- This is the number of my lawyer.

Shit, shit!

- Let him know where they send me.

- I'll go with you.

- No. No, no, no, no.

- I'm your partner.

You shut your mouth.

You knew nothing.

If you stick to that story,

you'll be fine.

What about me?

- Laura Jaconi?

- Yes.

Please, step out

of the vehicle.

Is there something

wrong, Officer?

Please step out

of the vehicle.

Uh, uh-uh, hold on, hold on.

Uh, before you take her in,

let me explain.

Uh...

This is all

a misunderstanding.

Really?

You can explain

her unpaid parking tickets?

Parking tickets?

Over $3,000 worth.

Well, that can't be explained.

She's a criminal. Lock her up.

Ah-ha.

There she is. The law breaker.

I'm enjoying this, Laura.

Uh, how is Sausalito

going to go to sleep at night

knowing that a cold-blooded

criminal, such as yourself,

is back on the streets?

So I got behind a few tickets.

- So what?

- Behind?

You haven't paid one

since 1983.

What did you suppose

was going to happen?

Stop it, Dad.

I'm not in the mood.

Look...

Tell me the truth.

Did you get a rush?

♪♪ I can live

♪♪ I can smile

♪♪ Hold my head way up high

♪♪ Baby, it's all

♪♪ All because of you

♪♪ Yeah

♪♪ I've got a new song

♪♪ I can sing

♪♪ Seems like my whole world

has been changed

♪♪ Baby, it's all

♪♪ All because of you

♪♪ Oh, baby, it's all

♪♪ All ♪♪

This is the last stop, Dad.

Get rid of it.

Oh, I plan to.

And my best customer will be getting

the deal of his life, thanks to you.

Okay, if you're trying

to make me feel guilty

for keeping my son out of

juvie, it's not working.

How many diapers do you need?

Uh, I'll get 'em. I'm going

to do this one alone.

Keep an eye on your mother

for me, will you?

You're being a real

C-U-Next-Tuesday.

He's never gonna

want to live with us now.

He was never gonna

live with us, Henry.

Shit.

I gotta take this.

Hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

One thing at a time, Sofia.

Jack, it's so good

to see you, my friend.

Oh, my goodness.

- Come on in. Come on in.

- You bet.

You know, I'll open a bottle

of Macallan 25.

Oh, boy.

I've been saving it

for somebody worthy.

Well, you better put it

in a to-go cup.

My daughter

is pouting in the car.

Why, she doesn't want

to come in?

She's taking some kind

of stand.

I don't know what I've done.

I probably tried

to help her, I guess.

Well, my... My daughter Jennie

hasn't spoken to me

since I forgot to thank her

at the Globes in '93.

She was nine, Jack. Holy moly.

- Well, straight to business, then.

- To business. Yeah, you bet.

And here is the moolah.

- How you doing, Jack?

- I don't know.

Maybe it's time to retire.

Nope, word's not allowed in the house.

Especially about Jack Jaconi.

Well, I've been thinking

about it.

Spending some time

with my family.

They're awful,

but they can't help it.

Her party won't be a

disaster, Sofia. I promise.

I...

Please calm down, please. Look,

I'm asking you as a friend.

I mean, give me

the benefit of the doubt.

Just give me a few days

to figure it out.

True's party's gonna be perfect.

I promise.

No.

I know. Well,

I'm sorry I let you down.

I... No, I don't expect you

to loan me the money for it.

I... I... I know.

Do you

want them to call the cops?

Turn the fucking music down.

Hey, if anything goes wrong,

start shooting.

Hurry up.

- Do you think they're after Grandpa?

- I don't know.

- Should we call the cops?

- No, we can't call the cops.

What if they kill him?

Oh.

I've been meaning

to tell this to you.

I think that you

are a decent guy.

I think you have a good heart.

Sometimes bad guys

need to hear that.

- The masseuse.

- Huh?

The masseuse.

Sure you don't want to stay? She'll

rub everything but your cock.

Since when does Joey Carlisle

need to pay a woman to touch him?

Since my pubes turned white.

Okay.

Surprise,

motherfucker. Hands up.

Turn around. Turn around.

Hands up.

Hurry the fuck up.

Hands up! Hands up!

Jesus Christ.

Go! Against the wall. Go.

♪♪ Nailed a nose before...

Where's our money?

Where's the money?

- Where's the money?

- I don't know. I'm stoned.

It's on the counter

over there.

♪♪ I could

never understand...

It's in here.

♪♪ It was

like a ball of love... ♪♪

Okay, take off your clothes.

- What?

- You heard me.

Take off your shirts.

At least take off your shirts.

Why do they have to

take their shirts off?

They could have guns

under their shirts, you idiot.

- We don't. Don't worry.

- Turn around!

Tell them again.

Just stay still. Shit!

I said hold still!

Oh, Cooper.

No.

Yep.

It says "Cooper's a badass"

right there on your shoe.

I'm not Cooper!

I told you not to wear those!

I didn't know

his eyesight was so good.

Only my grandson

would be dumb enough

to think he could

pull a stunt like this off.

- It's not... I'm...

- Your grandson?

Yes. Yes, my grandson.

Just... Okay, everybody

just shut the fuck up!

- And this is his friend?

- I'm afraid so.

- I didn't know.

- I didn't wear the shoes!

- This was your idea!

- What the hell's going on?

Robbed by some

prepubescent booger eaters?

Why'd you have to ruin it,

Grandpa, huh?

Why do you always

gotta ruin shit?

Why didn't you just let us have the money?

It's not like...

Don't hurt my father,

motherfucker!

Holy fucking shit!

- Oh.

- God damn it.

Little shits left us here

to die.

What just happened?

Honey, you saved our lives.

Yeah.

I mean, how can, uh...

How can we repay you?

Oh, my God,

I'm just glad I was here.

I mean, that was amazing.

Did you see them run?

Yeah, they ran out

like two scared kids.

You think, you think

they're coming back?

I think we'd better

get out of here,

'cause I'm pretty sure

they were cartel.

- Oh, cartel, yeah.

- Cartel cartel?

- Yeah. Cartel, yeah.

- And they were afraid of me?

Well, you came in here like a freaking

maniac with that bow and arrow.

Even I was scared of you.

Oh, no. No. Please.

Hang on a minute.

Yeah, Sofia, this,

this isn't really a good time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know what?

There isn't gonna be

a white tiger, okay?

Yeah, I didn't book it.

You know why?

Because they are extinct,

and the few left in this world

don't want to spend the day

with you and your

freaking spoiled daughter,

so figure that shit out

on your own, okay?

And you know what else?

We're not friends.

No, we're not.

We... We haven't been friends since

you made me return your stripper gear

to every Buffalo Exchange

in Seattle, so...

Fuck off, former friend!

Hello!

Dad.

How was the drive?

Well, your sister scared away some

cartel members and saved my life.

Whoa.

Way to go, Laura-san.

Guess how much I paid

for this painting.

You're right. It was free.

My friends found it

in the dog park in a dumpster,

and they were like,

"Jojo will want this."

And then they

presented it to me,

and I was like,

"Heck, yeah, I do."

Who wouldn't want a totally

touching oil painting

of a mother dog helping

her pup cross a stream?

A lot of people.

Well, whoever

threw it away, yeah.

Well...

This is not

the Waldorf Astoria.

Okay, Dad,

let me give you a tour

before you judge

your new home. Hmm?

- Yeah.

- Okay, so... Excuse me.

Over here, this is where I do

my Pilates about once a week.

And this is where

I have my coffee. Delish.

Oh, this is my amazing roommate,

Fritz, who also sells marijuana,

so the two of you

will have a lot to chat about.

- Papa-san.

- No.

And this is what has now

become the family bed.

Who would have thought

the four of us,

with four dogs,

together in a family bed?

Does it get any better?

- I sure hope so.

- Dad, come on.

You're about to take up half

of her 400 square feet.

She's trying to look

on the bright side.

Well, I'm not seeing it.

Laura, I think I might know

what would cheer Dad up.

- No.

- Yes, and yes, and yes.

- No.

- And yes.

Okay, okay, okay.

All right, Dad.

Remember that night

you lost $60,000

on a bad Super Bowl bet

and we did a performance

to take away

the sting a little?

- It didn't.

- Well, even though back then

it was appropriate

to perform the dance

- in our underwear...

- It wasn't.

Well, tonight,

we are fully clothed.

Ready, Fritz?

Ready? Lights.

Okay.

♪♪ Gloria

♪♪ You're always

on the run now

♪♪ Running after somebody

♪♪ You gotta get him somehow

♪♪ Will you marry

for the money?

♪♪ Take a lover

in the afternoon?

♪♪ If everybody wants you

♪♪ Why isn't anybody calling?

♪♪ You don't have to answer

♪♪ Leave 'em hangin'

on the line

♪♪ Oh

♪♪ Calling Gloria

♪♪ Gloria... ♪♪

Well, that was underwhelming.

Dad, what does it take

to impress you?

I mean, do I have to save

a life or cure cancer?

You want me to stop

a live rape?

Yeah, that would impress me.

Well, I'm not a superhero,

Dad, okay?

I'm just a regular

35-year-old woman.

I'm going to my room.

Excuse me.

Can we get something to eat?

- What's wrong with you?

- Nothing.

Doesn't feel like nothing.

Well, you

drive me across the entire

country just to get rid of me.

Is that what you think?

We're getting rid of you?

Well, you might as well check

me back into another home.

You wanted to be there.

You chose that place.

It was my only option.

- It wasn't your only option.

- I'm hungry.

You could have made the tiniest effort.

You could have stayed with us.

You could have given me

one tiny rule.

That's literally the only thing

I can do to protect myself.

- From what? From whom?

- I'm really hungry.

- From you.

- Oh, so now I'm a serial killer?

No, you're just the one

who can hurt me the most.

I'm really fucking hungry!

Seriously, guys,

figure it out already.

I need to eat.

- Ready to order?

- Oh.

Yeah, we'll have one

of everything.

Everything?

Yeah, one order

of every dish on the menu.

The kid needs to eat.

One order, mixed vegetables!

"When troubles come, they come not

single spies, but in battalions."

Oh, my gosh.

Don't get too excited.

What a lazy Susan

this one is.

Was there lobster on the menu?

He's gone.

I know.

He took the car.

He left you this.

Oh...

What's wrong? What's wrong?

Sister-san, come here. Come on.

Don't, don't, don't cry.

I always knew

he wasn't gonna stay.

I just thought

I'd get to see you and Henry.

This would be so much easier

if he was an asshole.

Oh, you know what? He is.

Feels just as shitty

as when we were kids.

Well, think of how it feels

for him.

Here he has two great kids,

super successful, amazing,

brilliant dancers.

And yet he chooses to spend

time with other people's kids.

- Who are other people's kids?

- Everybody else.

- What'd he give you?

- $20,000 worth of marijuana.

And Blind Poodle.

How about you?

It's money for Henry's school.

Shit, what am I

gonna tell Henry?

I already know.

We're in a studio apartment.

Are you okay?

I guess I just realized

why you love animals so much.

It's gonna be okay, Laura.

You're a survivor, like all

those animals you save.

How'd you end up being

the sane one?

Guess I've just always seen

Dad for who he really is.

Someone we love?

Yeah, only slightly better

than our worst ex-boyfriend.

That is so sad.

We'll never be more interesting

than Dad's adventures.

I always used to think that if

I could be like Debbie Gibson

or Tiffany or Robert Smith

of The Cure, then maybe...

Yes.

But it's a no-go, so...

I think you're interesting.

♪♪ Ain't nobody gonna break

your stride

♪♪ Ain't nobody

gonna slow you down

- ♪♪ Oh, no

- ♪♪ Oh, no

- ♪♪ I got to keep on movin'

- ♪♪ All right

♪♪ Ain't no one

gonna break my stride

♪♪ Ain't no one

gonna slow me down

- ♪♪ Oh, no

- ♪♪ Oh, no

♪♪ I got to keep on movin' ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't nothin'

gonna break my stride

Here. Come back.

♪♪ Oh no,

I got to keep on moving

♪♪ Ain't nothin'

gonna break my stride

♪♪ Nobody gonna slow me down

- ♪♪ Oh, no

- ♪♪ Oh, no

♪♪ I got to keep on moving

♪♪ Ain't nothin'

gonna break my stride

♪♪ I'm running

and I won't touch ground

♪♪ Oh no,

I got to keep on movin'

♪♪ Ain't nothin'

gonna break my stride... ♪♪

Uh...

This is it, I think.

Right here.

Yeah.

Yeah, there it is.

Okay.

Could you roll me? Quick.

Yeah, sure.

Okay, back of the sleeves.

- I'll be like five minutes, okay?

- Okay.

Hi.

Nice wheels.

- Thanks.

- Nice puppy!

- Hey.

- Hi.

I missed you.

Yes, I did.

- Oh, I missed you so much.

- Yeah, she missed you, too.

Nice sling.

Oh, only the best

for the best.

She did okay?

Oh, yeah,

we found ourselves a routine.

Eat, sleep, poop, repeat.

Well, thank you.

Uh, I was thinking I could...

You know, I could hang onto

her for a few more days,

let you get some rest.

You fell in love with her,

didn't you?

- Oh, you did.

- It snuck up on me.

I haven't slept more than

45 minutes at a time,

so my judgment could be

slightly clouded, but...

But I actually enjoyed

the chaos.

Look at you. Spoken like

a true dog rescuer.

How was the trip?

It was... It was good.

I think what you do for these

animals is, is amazing.

They do more for me. I just

feed them when they're hungry.

Uh, so Friday?

Our date?

Yeah?

Sure.

Yes!

Yes.

Well, at least we got money

for private school.

That's pretty cool, isn't it?

Yeah.

I'm so sorry, Henry.

I don't even know what to say.

I know you're disappointed.

We're gonna be okay.

Yeah?

I'm sorry

I didn't realize that before.

What is that?

FBI! Open up!

Jesus. Shit.

He must have stuffed some weed

in our bags.

- FBI!

- Fuck!

FBI! Open up!

God. Fuck. Shit.

- Shit, shit, shit!

- What do we do?

- Just go...

- FBI! Open up!

Okay, flush anything

you find. Okay?

I don't know, chuck the

suitcases out the window.

- Hurry. Go.

- FBI!

Open up,

or we take the door down!

You bunch of chickenshits.

I heard you scrambling around.

"Flush everything!"

Oh, for Jesus Christ.

You could never be a criminal

if your life depended on it.

You were very convincing.

What are you doing?

- Did you drive here?

- Yeah, I left yesterday.

Oh, yes.

My place is here

with you two fuck-ups.

You want to live here?

With us?

I don't know if I'm

capable of change, but...

I sure as hell

would like to try.

I mean, well, I should be enjoying

my, uh, twilight years, but...

I've...

I've been inspired by Gandhi.

Who's this?

Gandhi.

Uh, I found him in a dumpster.

Can you believe someone would throw

this son of a bitch away? Gee...

Good morning.

Morning.

You went food shopping?

Well, the kid would starve to death

with what you had in the fridge.

Uh, I made him lunch, too.

A joint and an apple?

Well, I thought that, uh, might

help him make some friends.

♪♪ When we were younger,

we thought

♪♪ Everyone was on our side

♪♪ Then we grew a little

♪♪ And romanticized

the time I saw

♪♪ Flowers in your hair

♪♪ See, it takes

a boy to live

♪♪ It takes a man

to pretend he was there... ♪♪

Yeah, looks like you got

yourself a ragtag crew.

Yeah, you're liable to be

homecoming king.

Are you gonna take me

to school from now on?

Oh, well, your mom could use, you

know, a few days sleeping in.

She works hard,

in case you hadn't noticed.

So you'll be here

to pick me up?

I'm not taking any

of these other weirdos home.

Jack, I...

Mm?

I drew this for you.

It's your soul.

♪♪ The warmth of your love's

♪♪ Like the warmth

from the sun

♪♪ And this will be our year

took a long time to come

♪♪ Don't let go of my hand

now darkness has gone

♪♪ This will be our year

took a long time to come

♪♪ And I won't forget

the way you helped me

♪♪ Up when I was down

and I won't forget

♪♪ The way you said

darling I love you

♪♪ You gave me faith to go on

♪♪ Now we're there

and we've only just begun

♪♪ This will be our year

took a long time to come

Subtitles by explosiveskull

♪♪ The warmth of your smile

smile for me, little one

♪♪ And this will be our year

took a long time to come

♪♪ My, my, my ♪♪

♪♪ It's a hard pill

to swallow

♪♪ When I know

you've been doing me wrong

♪♪ It's a hard pill

to swallow

♪♪ And I know

you've been doing me wrong

♪♪ It's so hard to leave you

♪♪ And it's even harder

to be alone

♪♪ I call up my doctor

♪♪ And I call my lawyer, too

♪♪ They say,

"We can't help you

♪♪ "There ain't nothing

we can do"

♪♪ I can't sleep

at night, y'all

♪♪ And all of my love is left

♪♪ He took my heart

along with him

♪♪ And left me to sweat

♪♪ It's a hard pill

to swallow

♪♪ When I know

you've been doing me wrong

♪♪ It's so hard to leave you

♪♪ And it's even harder

to be alone

♪♪ It's a hard pill

to swallow

♪♪ When I know

you've been doing me wrong

♪♪ It's so hard to leave you

♪♪ And it's even harder

to be alone

♪♪ It's so hard to leave you

♪♪ And it's even harder

to be alone ♪♪