Borrelia Borealis (2022) - full transcript

As the
global pandemic rages on,

deaths in the United States
have reached an all time high,

crossing the 2 million mark.

Tensions are high
in Washington today

as lawmakers attempt
to tighten up

a more coordinated
national response.

As the
Southern California Vincent Fire

overtakes Malibu
and the West Hills,

residents fear
the upcoming aggressive

and historically unpredictable
Santa Ana Winds

will blow sparks, igniting
other parts of Los Angeles.



The White House doctors today

said that
immunocompromised people,

those with cancer,
autoimmune disorders,

and the elderly,
must be extra careful

as we enter
the second wave.

Hi.
Hi.

Hi.

Hi, it's good to see you.

Oh, it's great
to see you Beth.

So, how was your weekend?
What did you guys do?

Oh, you know, we had
a quiet weekend here,

just a couple of movies.

I expect just, you know, the
same thing as everyone else,

but we tried to layer in
some, like, active time too,



- and went on a couple of walks.
- Yeah.

No, like the garden,
the garden that you guys,

you guys planted a garden,
you... your, um...

your husband,
I saw on Facebook.

He was, like, posting,
like, when you

and your daughter
like digging up,

like, you know, soil

and like planting tomatoes,
like, oh, my God.

What a great guy he must be.
Like, he is so handsome.

Oh, you are...
Well, you're both lucky.

You're both very
attractive people.

You're lucky to have each other.

I'm alone.

Thank you.
Thanks Beth.

What about the walks?

Have you been taking
any walks Beth?

No, if I got coughed on,
like, I would die,

so I don't...

I don't want to go outside.

I... I can't see straight
sometimes.

And, like, I don't, um...

It feels like
someone's shaking me

and then it's like,
everything kind of goes blurry.

But, I mean, it doesn't
last very long,

but I just, like,

I just don't feel very stable.

I feel like I'm not
doing anything else,

but trying to get better
and I'm not getting better.

It is traumatic,
in some ways,

in order to change
the system around,

and it's changed
the way it's functioning,

but it is necessary
to do this

for a more prolonged
lasting wellness.

My brain and my body
are not...

connected.

The things we do experience,
and the...

the trauma that...
that affects us,

that it does affect,

and it does translate
into the body.

You were bitten by a tick
at the age of ten.

You want your life back.
You want your life back.

I never had a life, though.

I never had a life to get back.

I want to start my life

because I've had this
for 25 years.

So it's like I...
I don't even have a jumping off point yet.

Unfortunately, back then,

there really were no
Lyme literate doctors.

It wasn't a part
of our vocabulary.

Look at it like this, Beth.

Early childhood trauma
loads the gun

for chronic conditions.

Auto immune diseases
like Lyme

pull the trigger.

Functional
whole body medicine

has come a long way.

That's why we treat
the body and the mind.

You can't have one
without the other.

How has it been going
talking with your parents?

Have you confronted them yet?

I believe you
that this is hard

and this is not
something I take lightly.

We've tried years of
antibiotics, vegan,

Paleo, talk therapy and
EDMR, support groups,

biofeedback and float tanks.

Nothing has brought your
inflammation levels down.

Nothing.

Not confronting your parents,

it's making you sicker, Beth.

There's a house
on a street by the sea...

with faded blue shingles,
weathered to gray.

It's lights burning bright,

but never for me.

I have a question for you.

If you knew then,

when you were punishing me,

when you were... when you were
hitting me with a belt

and the switch,

if you knew then

that it would make me grow up

to be someone...

who does this...

every day,

multiple times a day,

would you still do it?

Would you still do it?

I just want to know.

I have no self-esteem.

And I don't know if
that was just by design.

Like, I don't know if
you guys...

you guys did all that

so... so you would
break me down

and I wouldn't have
my own identity

and I would just follow
your very strict rules.

I don't... I don't know if that
was the desired effect.

Maybe it was.

Well, we all know I... I couldn't...
I couldn't follow those rules.

I think that everything
that you guys did to me

when I was a kid,

I stuffed down so deep...

until one day my body
just let it all go.

And now we're here.

Who is this person?

Eddie. Eddie.

You want to talk so bad?

Hi, is this Beth?

- Yeah!
- It's me, Eddie.

We have a date tonight,
I think.

There's like 50 Beth Cs
on here, shit!

Huh?

I'm supposed to...
I'm supposed to be on this date,

a video date,
uh, pandemic style.

Is this like some
kind of troll thing?

No, I made a mistake.
Honest mistake, okay.

I was chatting with this girl

on one of those
free dating apps.

Mixed bag, you know?

Maybe I was meant to
call you by accident. Huh?

You believe in fate?

Ooh, okay, yeah,
I... I see.

So like, you're just like some,
like, internet scam artist.

No. No.

We could all use
a friend right now.

I don't have anybody
to talk to.

- I was supposed to be out on a date...
- Clearly.

And I wouldn't mind
talking to someone

and... and I... I mean,
if you don't mind,

I... I'd like to chat
a little bit.

You know, I didn't mean to
interrupt what was go...

I... I didn't mean
anything like that.

I'm trying to...
I'm kind of nervous.

I don't go on...
on too many dates...

Oh, you don't say?

Oh, you're still here?

Are you okay?

I am not having a good day.

So, I'm really sorry that I...

No, no, I'm... I'm sorry,
I clearly interrupted.

And, um...

Which was not my
intention at all.

Listen, I mean,
I don't know how long

this has lasted already,

but, I mean,
we've come this far,

so, hey, why don't...

Hi, I'm... I'm Eddie,
and, uh,

it's... it's nice to meet you.

Um, I'll extend my hand
to you.

- There... There you go.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- So now we know each other.

I'm... I'm from...
I'm from New England.

New England.

Are you a fisherman?

I do a little bit of fishing.

- Yeah?
- I used to fish, I don't...

Like lobsters and shit?

I love to eat lobsters.

There it is.

You get the lobsters,

you get the lobsters
from the boats.

- Lobsters.
- I eat a lot of lobsters.

I can't have shellfish, man.

You're
allergic to shellfish?

No, I'm not allergic,
but I have...

So I have Lyme disease,
and like,

there's all this shit
you can't eat.

Like, I can't eat
fucking anything.

Like, I can't have anything
that comes in a shell.

I can't have beef.

I can't have coffee.

I can't have peppermint.

I can't have the cheese.

Oh, I'd fucking give my life

for one of those
Cheddar Bay Biscuits.

You... You have
really pretty eyes.

You're flirting with me,
aren't you?

Well,
I have to say I'm out of practice,

so, uh, I'm... I'm glad it's
going well so far.

Oh... oh, no.

But I will say, I...
I want to know more about your wall

because your apartment
looks amazing.

So, like, what other cool stuff
do you got going on in there?

So you, like, want to
get to know me a little bit?

You wanna... You like genuinely
want to know who I am.

I'm enjoying talking to you.

Um, yeah, I... I like you...
I like you too.

Like you're... you're pretty cool.

But remember,
this isn't a date.

This is
definitely not a date.

It's just a... It's just
a conversation of friends.

Right?

I'm a little... I'm...

I'm up past my bedtime,
I'm a little tired.

So, maybe, um...

Maybe I'll just, like, show
you the bedroom real fast.

- All right, okay.
- But it's gonna be

a platonic bed situation
with no boobs.

- No boobs!
- And nothing... No funny business.

Well, I'll let you in on
a little secret.

- I brought protection.
- Ohh!

I don't even want to
know what that means.

Did you get it? Because, I mean, we're...
It's a video chat, right?

So, like, you can't get
hepatitis like this.

That's right.
It's very safe, you know, it's...

How'd you sleep last night?

Mm, pretty good,
actually.

All right,
would it be weird

to ask you on a date tonight?

I was gonna
ask you on a date.

Now we're doing the traditional
gender role thing.

Yes, yes,
I say yes to a date with you.

I'll even let you pay

if you're worried
about the patriarchy.

- How about it?
- Toots!

I wanted you to call me
Toots there.

It's a balance.

How about it, Toots?

Yes, I will
pick you up around six,

nine, your time?

Perfect, it's a date.

I'll see you then,
pretty lady.

See you then, stud.

Frustration
in major cities this week

as the homeless flood the streets
with nowhere left to turn,

many recently evicted
due to

the financial burden of
the pandemic.

Mayors are struggling
to contain the virus

with so many displaced people
and no federal assistance.

Those dying
of the deadly virus this year

are dying alone,
a new study shows.

Doesn't that
sound strange to you at all?

He accidentally
video called you?

I don't know if that's strange.
I mean,

people are doing video calls
all the time, right?

- Like people...
- Yes, with people that they know,

established people
in their lives.

Not with strangers
with no last names

and no proof of who they are
or where they're from

- or what they're doing...
- He's in New England.

- He lives in New England.
- New England?

- Yeah.
- Oh...

So no specific state,
no specific city.

What does he do?

He...

What is his history like?

- He...
- Is he a felon?

That's not fair.

You have no...
You have no idea.

You know what I do know, Beth?

I know that I've
received your blood tests,

and right now,
your inflammation levels

are... are 20 times the level
of the average person,

which could cause many problems,
including a potential stroke.

And right now is the time
where we need to focus

more than ever on you

and your health
and your wellness

so we can attempt to bring
this inflammation down.

You're not here with me.
You're not going through this.

You don't know
what it feels like.

You know,
you... you have your life.

You get to have your life
with your family

and your house and your garden
that you planted.

And like...

When am I gonna have that?

You're telling me I have to
be, like, completely well

before I even think about
something like that?

No, I'm not saying not at all.
I'm saying right now,

your focus just has to be
on you,

for you, about you.

I don't want to live there.

I can't live there, so...

Not facing...

yourself head on,

I believe at this time and
this state of your diagnosis

is the thing that is...

holding us back.

Well, you know,
you scare me when you say

that I could just at
any moment stroke out

or fucking keel over
from a heart attack.

Do you know how
much that scares me

when you say shit like that?

It does, it is scary.

That's why I can't play...

That's why we can't
play these games.

That's why we can't...
we can't afford to spend time

or energy or focus
on anything else

because it is scary, Beth.

The virus has mutated

and is even more deadly
than previously assumed.

They advise continuing to
shelter in place

until conditions improve.

The president today said that
he is withholding federal aid

to the Democrat or
blue led states of

California,
Oregon, and Washington

during this violent
fire season,

that so far has claimed
the lives of dozens

and the homes of hundreds.

Beth, I had a thought.

If talking to those chairs
in therapy

isn't working for you,
try something else.

A letter maybe, an email,
maybe even a video.

Do what works for you.

Hey, Mom and Dad.

Just saying hi.

I'm supposed to talk to you.

I'm trying to talk to you.
I don't know...

I don't really know
what I'm doing.

You would probably think this
is crazy, huh?

I mean, I think it's crazy.

I miss you.

It really sucks that
you both died.

Right back to back.

Couldn't stagger it for me?

No, it's all right.

Okay, good talk.

H...

My God, are you okay?

- I'm fine.
- Are you okay?

- No, I'm fine.
- Get a drink.

Do you want to
get something to drink?

No, I just... No,
I have a something in my throat, I'm fine.

Oh, hi.

- Hi.
- Hi! Hi, how are you?

No, I just have
a Lyme cough sometimes.

It's like a dry cough.

It came at a really
bad moment.

Wow, uh, that's a...

that's a hell of an entrance
you made.

Hi.

God, you look beautiful.

Well, you look very sexy.
You look really hot.

You look super...
You're, um...

- In my sweater?
- Yeah.

- That where I was going.
- Sexual.

I was going for
the, uh, sexy fisherman.

Have you been looking at
my Pornhub account?

You know my type?

- Ooh...
- Is that it? Is that what comes up in your queue,

- sexy fishermen?
- Sexy fishermen.

I'm a little nervous,
I'm a little...

I'm nervous too.

I feel like I'm kind of
sweating already and I...-

Sorry, I shouldn't have even have said that.

No that's okay, human sweat.
I'm sweating.

Yeah, well, I mean,
I would imagine it's hot there.

Yeah, it is,
and I'm wearing Spanx.

Well, I, um...
I... I got you flowers.

Oh, my gosh.

- That is so...
- Yeah.

Wow. Geez.
That is like really...

I wish you could smell them.

They, uh...
They smell pretty good.

I... I don't...
I don't know what...

I don't know what
the other shit is.

Well,
I like that shit.

I wanted to make
this night perfect.

And I... I thought,
you know, uh...

if I was seeing you
face to face,

I would... I would
give you flowers, um...

'cause you deserve them.
Yeah.

Here... Here you go.

Thank you.

What was your dream job
when you were a kid?

Probably this.

Exactly this.

Looking at you.

I wish I could
kiss you right now.

Yeah?

I just wish I could...

Oh...

I wish I was
right there with you

and I was just able to
give you a kiss.

I don't know, here I am
saying I want to kiss you,

I don't even... I don't really
know your... your last name.

And I'm
asking for a kiss.

What is your last name?

Do you have a middle name?

Um...

Wh... Why... Why do you
want to know my last name?

Oh, I... I don't.

I mean, I was just...
I was saying

just because I asked...

I asked to kiss you.
I said...

You know, I don't even...
It's kind of weird.

You know, you feel like if you...
if you were on a date

and you were leading up to
that moment of kissing,

that you would, I don't know,
at that point,

you probably would've
known each other's names.

- And I just...
- Yeah.

Just thought
it was interesting

that I don't know
your last name.

You're trying to like...

Like, are you...
You want to take my identity

or, like, find out
all my passwords or...

- Because, um...
- No.

There's a lot of, you know,
there's a lot of scams.

There's a lot of scams out there

and... and I have been very
open and honest with you.

- You know my entire life story.
- A scam?

No, I... You know
my entire life story.

What... What do you...

I've taken you
around my apartment,

you know pretty much
where I live.

I took you in
the shower with me.

You've seen my body.
You know things about me.

And now I'm afraid that maybe
we've just been doing this

a little too much,
a little too fast.

Look, I'm not some...
some kind of creep,

I just... I just find it, um...
It's not a scam.

- I just didn't know your...
- I want to believe that,

I really want to believe that,

but now I'm afraid
because, you know,

I... I came... You know,

I even told you last night
because I'm an idiot.

I'm so fucking stupid.
I told you, last night...

What are you
talking about?

I got inheritance from my parents when
they died. It wasn't much but you know,

I just openly gave you
that information

- and, and you want my money.
- I just wanted to know your...

I just asked your name.

I didn't... I didn't say
I even wanted to know it,

I just said I don't
know your name.

And I... I put... I put myself
out there, I just...

Where are you right now?

You... Look, you've seen
my entire apartment.

I've... I've shown you
everything.

You're just in front of
this blue wall.

Where are you?
Are you, like, in the...

a basement or
are you in prison?

Oh, do you...
do you have a wife?

Is that what this is?
Are you hiding?

Are you cheating from your wife?
You got kids upstairs.

Is this just some, like,
little project for you?

I'm just, like, some
stupid girl across the country

that you can chat with
and feel good about yourself.

Look, I can't... I can't do this.
I can't do this and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry,
did not mean anything by it.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Don't go, don't go.

- I'm sorry.
- Please don't go!

Please don't go.

Fuck.

Why do you always do this?

Why do you always do this?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Why do you always
gotta be like her?

Such a fucking idiot.

Hi. Hi.
I am so sorry.

I am so, so, so,
so, so sorry.

I did not...
I did not mean to do that

the way that it came out

and I... I know...
I know you're a good guy

and I'm just...
I'm just a paranoid loser

- that doesn't understand.
- Stop, stop, stop, just stop.

Just stop, please, please,
please just stop.

You're right.

I haven't been honest.

I'm sorry. I... I... I just...
I just... I just...

I need to say...

I just need... I need to say...
I need to say it.

I need to... I need to...
I need to tell you who I am.

I just need to be honest.

- Okay.
- I just need you to listen.

I just... I just need you
to listen to me.

Can you do that for me?

Can you... Can you please
just listen to me?

- Please?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll listen.

My name is Eddie.

I live in Rhode Island.

I live with my mother.

I've battled alcoholism...

many years.

My wife...

she left me two years ago...

because of a car accident.

And now I'm in a wheelchair.

I'm embarrassed.

I'm 40 years old and
I live here with my mother.

Things... Things aren't as bad
as one would think.

You know, I mean, we actually
have a pretty good relationship,

but for two years,

I really had no connection
with anyone.

I tried to make
better choices, I tried.

But I drank.

I drank a lot.

I made bad choices.

I lost control,

we hit a curb
and that was it.

I was... I woke...

I woke up...

I woke up in the hospital
a few days later.

I had no use of my legs.

They said my wife survived...

but I never saw her again.

You have to understand,
this...

this connection, I...

I haven't felt like this
in a long time.

But when I saw you...

When I saw you...

and you picked up that phone,

it was something there
that pulled me in.

You were in need,
I was in need.

It felt right, it
feels so right.

It feels right.
I don't want anything from you.

I don't want anything.

No... No money,
no social security numbers,

nothing like that.

I want a friend.

I want more than a friend,
I want that connection.

But I understand that I...

That I haven't been honest.

I'm a product of
my own problems,

my own vices.

I'm two years sober.

I'm clearheaded.

- Okay.
- But I'm disabled.

I have nothing but
this... this is room

and this chair
and a mother who...

who loves me unconditionally.

You... You have given me...

hope.

Beth, see...

I'm sorry that
I brought this on you.

And...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

My... My n... My name...

is, um,
Beth May Connell.

I want to touch you.

I want to
touch you so bad.

I can't wait.

I can't wait till the end of
this pandemic.

I can't wait.

We shouldn't
have to wait.

What if... what if there was
a way I could be there with you?

- How?
- In your dreams.

I would like that.

You promise?

I promise that
I'll see you in your dreams.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Eddie.

Okay, okay, okay,
so you have to understand,

like, he literally,
like, in the dream,

it was like his face.

He went...
went down, okay?

He went way down, all right?

- Oh, yeah.
- And I don't usually like that.

Like, I don't usually...
I mean, it's been, like, years.

Like I don't... I am not
usually a fan of that,

but oh...
Oh, my God.

I have never in my life,

I have never had an orgasm
with a guy.

You know this.
You know this.

- I know, I know.
- I've come close.

I feel like I
usually just fake it

until, you know,
so it can just be over.

It was like...

He had like a magic...

He stayed down there
for, like, 90 minutes.

It was like a...

a Geyser is what it was.

Okay, does this person
actually have a job

or does he just,
you know, I don't know.

- Um...
- He's a clam digger all the time.

I don't understand.

Clam digger he is.

Thank you for that
dated reference. Um...

I'm gay, I don't do
the vagina thing so...

- It's okay.
- It's a clam, right?

It's a clam.
Let me preface this by saying...

- You have an answer.
- Yes, I have an answer,

- but it's not an answer...
- You're stalling-

That you are
going to approve of.

So I need you to know...
I need you to be kind,

because this is...
this is a little bit sensitive, all right?

And I care about this person.
I like this person.

- He's a good person.
- Uh-huh.

He lives in Rhode Island
in his mother's basement.

- Shut the fuck up.
- Because he's a recovering alcoholic.

And he got into a car crash
because of the alcohol

and almost killed himself
and his wife.

His wife survived,
he survived,

but he is paralyzed now.

What part is paralyzed,
just, his face?

No, his, like, he can't walk.
He's in a wheelchair,

but it's like from
the waist down so...

yeah.

Does his dick work?

I mean, I think it works
but he... but he can't feel it.

- Oh, God, Beth...
- So...

- I know.
- Don't do this. Don't do this.

- I know, I know.
- Don't do this.

You need to end it now.
You've only known him for five minutes.

It needs to... No, come on,
come on, come on, no, no.

I like him, I like him.
I know, I know on paper...

Of course you do,
of course you do.

It doesn't sound good on paper.

He's a special brand of
fixer-upper,

and, uh, that's very
on brand for you.

- Thank you.
- So I'm gonna need you

to just like completely
cut ties with this guy.

- No!
- Oh, my God.

You have a tendency to
build things up in your mind

and it ne-heh-ever
works out that way.

But maybe that's time it will.

You need to find someone stable.
That's what I'm saying.

- I mean, I think he's stable...
- I don't think that...

- What's this guy's name?
- Eddie.

Eddie. Fisherman Eddie.

I mean, I don't even really
know if he was a fisherman.

He just mentioned it.

And he has that accent,
you know?

So it's like...
He sounds like a fi...

It doesn't matter.

Fishermen Eddie in his mom's
basement in his wheelchair

is really gonna give you
the stability you need.

What is so wrong

with talking to a nice man
who listens to me

and likes talking to me back?

He like... He likes
my personality.

He likes the way I look.
He compliments me all the time.

I don't know.
What's so wrong with that?

I don't want to see you
do this again.

I guess I don't see
what's wrong

in indulging in
a little bit of fantasy

when the world is
fucking ending.

It's a fantasy.

- It's a...
- I'm just saying that we're not kids anymore

and you have to start
thinking about your future.

Anyway, it doesn't matter.

And I don't care that he
doesn't have any money,

and I don't care that he
lives with his mother.

I don't care that he doesn't
have full use of his body.

- I don't care.
- Well, I don't... I'm not saying

that you shouldn't be
with someone

because they don't have
full use of their body.

It's just, with you it's
just one more thing...

- Is what I'm saying.
- I know.

I know.

Yeah, it's like you
usually date broken men,

and this time you've
really outdone yourself.

I just want you to be happy
that I had, like,

a gushing
female ejaculation experience

for the first time in my life.

- Wash your sheets.
- Okay.

- All right.
- Aye, aye!

So explain to me again
what really, like,

what these...
these stretches do

or like what, what's the...

Oh, okay.

I gotta ask you.

I... I just, I... I can't...
I can't control it.

I... I can't hide it anymore.
So I just gotta ask you, uh...

Did you enjoy last night?

- Uh...
- Last night, in your dreams?

Did you enjoy last night?

Um...

Because I got to tell you,
I enjoyed it so much.

Did you enjoy
the way I used my mouth?

And it was like fireworks.
Come on, I know you... you...

You were a screamer.

You were a screamer
and I gotta tell you,

I mean...
I gotta be honest.

It got... It got...
It got a little messy,

but I'm okay with that.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

- Um... what?
- I want to do it again.

- Mm-hm.
- And I just wanna...

- Yeah.
- I just want to make you feel good.

Oh, my God.

- Okay.
- I promised you

I was going to see you
last night.

And I kept my promise.

It sounds pretty fucking crazy,
but it... it was real.

And I made it happen.

You need to...
You need to explain

what is happening right now,

because, um, if you were
in my bed last night,

that's a little hard
for me to...

I don't really understand
the mechanics of that.

Have you ever heard
of astral projection?

No.

Astral projection
is an intentional

out of body experience.

Sometimes,
when we sleep,

our consciousness
leaves our body

to go live in
a rich dream world on its own,

detaching from the body.

Ancient civilizations
have been documenting this

for thousands of centuries.

You know those dreams
that you wake up from

and you could swear
that there was something

hauntingly real about them?

It not only found like
a fully formed idea,

but... but
a fully formed world.

That feeling of falling
you get sometimes

right before you drift off
happens totally by accident.

That is what astral
projection is.

Only instead of waiting
for it to happen by chance

in a random dream,

we can control it.

We can manifest
the places we want to go to

and leave our bodies
down below.

So our consciousness
can travel

through the spiritual planes.

I know this sounds
absolutely crazy,

but you have to believe me.

I think we can
do it together, Beth.

Last night,
I concentrated really hard

on what your room looks like.

The dimensions,
what you might feel like,

your soft skin.

I set an intention
to make it to you...

and somehow it worked.

I was in your room.

I've never done this with
another person before.

Beth,
we can get you there too.

In the astral, we're free.

I can dance with you.

I can feel things.

You'd be free of disease,
move without pain.

I visited your dream

because you gave me
permission to,

but if you try to
astral project yourself

and actually meet me there,

you would be able to
participate with me.

You wouldn't be half asleep

and just waiting for
things to happen.

You would be able to
control them with me.

I use the rope method.

You lie flat on your back

and you visualize a rope
suspended from the ceiling.

It comes down,

and you pull yourself
out of your body.

Now, your mind has to be clear.

Focus on where you want to go,

what and who you want to see.

You'll feel vibration.

You take that rope
when it's offered,

and you climb out.

I found astral projection
in my darkest hour,

I was ready to
check out, honestly.

I was close.

When I discovered this...

That was not
a magic carpet ride.

I realized that
we were so much more

than our physical composition.

We could run, fly...

make love.

God...

Beth.

We are simply souls

floating by the sea of night
in the ether

and we have the ability
to become

more compassionate
and perceptive to

the worlds and the people
that surround us.

Life is just a story that
we tell ourselves, right?

I want you to feel
what I feel.

To have agency over your body.

It doesn't always work
so well sometimes.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, Dad.

I can't sleep.

Nothing new there, huh?

I met someone, a man.

And I love him,
and, uh...

I guess that's why
I'm trying to

talk to you guys now,
like I'm supposed to.

I'm supposed to
talk to you guys,

I'm supposed to talk
about these things,

hash these things out.
and, uh...

Did you know?

Did you know?

'Cause I think you knew.

I think that deep down
somewhere in there, you knew.

You knew...

what was happening with
the next door neighbor.

I think you knew.

And you sent me like
a lamb to the slaughter.

Did you know?

Did you know?

Did you know?

So...

I get to Rhode Island

and I find you there...

and you are...

waiting for me.

Yeah.

And I get up close...

and I let you kiss me...

and I kiss you back.

Yeah.

And then...

I'm gonna get
up on top of you, okay?

- Uh-huh.
- And I'm gonna

wrap my legs around you
in your chair,

and then I'm gonna move in,

and then...

I...

But I have to...
I... I just, um...

I feel like I'm being
dishonest with you.

Um...

I haven't really figured out
how to tell you this.

This is not
the right time, clearly,

but, um, I have to
just say this.

Um...

I was raped by my...
by my neighbor,

by my next door neighbor,

um, when I was 11
until I was about 15.

And, um... But...
But I thought that...

I kind of thought we were in
a relationship at the time.

I thought he was my boyfriend,
but he was an adult.

And it's like...
There was nobody there.

No one gave a shit,
I don't know.

I... I didn't realize that
I wasn't in control of it.

And so then I just kind of
stopped doing anything altogether.

And now I just kinda don't
know what the fuck I'm doing.

And I don't know...
I don't know how to feel good.

And I don't know how
to make you feel good.

And I don't know how to...
I don't know...

I just don't know how to do
this emotional sexual intimacy.

I get...
I get it, I get it.

You... You don't have to
go any further.

I, uh...

Beth, um...

First off, I'm sor...
I'm sorry that you had to

experience that.

Fuck!

That's fucked.

Uh, and thank you for
your honesty.

I know that that's...

I can't imagine that
that's easy to...

to have lived with
up until this point

and to even sit here
and... and tell...

tell somebody.

- So...
- It's just not sexy.

It's like we're trying to
do all these sexy things

and I'm just...
I'm in my head,

and I can't stop
thinking about it and I...

It makes sense,
it makes sense.

I mean, it makes sense that
you would be in your head

Fuck. I mean,
something that traumatic.

I get it, I get it.

And I... I...
I appreciate you,

you know,
trying to go there with me,

but I don't...
I don't want...

I just... I want you
to be comfortable with me

and to be y...
to be real.

Be that... that person that is
comfortable with with yourself

and just... Fuck.

If it's just...
If this is what we have,

if it's just talking with
each other, that's...

It's fine.

I'll see you in the astral.

I don't know, man,
I mean, yeah,

you can come visit
me in the astral

and that's wonderful for me.

I mean, Jesus,
that's done more for me

than I think you'll
ever really understand,

um, but I can't
participate with you.

I'm not...
I can't get there myself,

and I don't think
I ever will be able to.

We keep trying,

and I keep falling off my bed
and freaking out,

and I can't...
I can't do it.

I don't know if I'm ever
gonna be able to do it.

Listen, it's all right,
it's all right.

We... We will get you there.

You will get there,
Beth, I promise.

I just... I'm sad a lot
and this is just really, um...

It's bumming me out,
I guess, a little bit.

Well, if it's any consolation,

I don't have a fucking clue
what I'm doing.

But you look like it.
Look at you.

You're like a sex god,
you're just...

I just want to eat you up.

Stop it.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Stop calling me.

Beth?

What?

Beth, oh, God.

Beth I've been trying you.
I've been trying to call you,

and I haven't heard from you.

Are you there?
Are you okay?

We've missed several
appointments.

Oh, shit!

Um...

yes, I'm good.

Um, I'm sorry,
I meant to hang up.

I didn't mean to
pick up, um, I'm sleepy.

What's going on?

How long have you
had that cough Beth?

Will you just, like,
calm down please?

Your energy is just,
like, it's like...

- Ugh, it's so hot in here.
- What are those?

- Are th-
- What?

What are those lesions

on your neck and chest?

Beth.

- What do you...
- Are those Bartonella rashes

that I'm seeing on
the camera?

Um...

no, I don't think
they're Bart... um...

They look like lesions, Beth.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, no.

It's not a rash.

Oh my God,
Dr. Kensington,

this is not a rush.

Do you see this?

This is proof.

They're hickey's.
They're hickeys!

- Oh, my God!
- Is someone there with you?

Yeah, well,
sometimes, sometimes.

You remember my...
my boyfriend,

my boyfriend,
the guy, Eddie?

So we started doing
this astral projection

and I wasn't able to do it
for like the longest time.

And I didn't think I was
gonna be able to do it

because I've been
so traumatized

and apparently,
I can't meditate,

but apparently...
apparently I'm over it

because we...
we had sex last night.

We had sex.

We had sex in the astral.

We astral planed,
we projected.

We projected to
a plane above ours.

It was amazing!
I could move.

I could move my entire body.

I was moving back
and forth, I was...

My hips were doing things
I didn't even think

it was possible to do.

I just...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I know this sounds
really crazy...

- Beth...
- But I love him so much!

Please, I need you to
listen to me very carefully.

As your doctor,
as a medical professional,

and as you're my friend...

You're my friend?

I want you to listen to me.

I think that it's time
that we consider

some other alternatives,

including bringing in
a psychiatrist.

I need you to understand
how dangerous a position

that you're in right now.

You should be happy.

I'm getting laid, finally!

I thought that you had died.

It is... It is...
It is shocking to me

that you would throw away
our progress.

You know me, Beth.

You know... Well, you know
what we've been together

and how we've worked together
to fight this terrible disease.

And right now this disease
is overtaking your body

and overtaking her mind,

and I think we need to change
our treatment plan, okay?

- I'm listening.
- You're not being yourself.

- And I think the best thing for us...
- No, I am being myself.

- Is to make a pivot...
- No, no...

- And look at some other psychiatric
options--This is who I am.

Dr. Kensington, you don't understand.
I'm not some good girl.

I'm not some studious,
open the book, do what I'm told.

I'm finally alive
and I am gonna follow that.

I'm gonna follow that.
I know it sounds crazy.

I don't even care,
I don't care, I don't care.

I'm not going to some
fucking mental institution.

I'm not gonna go to...
And you know what?

I love you, I love you,
you're so pretty,

and you're so good at your job,

and I just love
everything about you.

That's not what
I need from you, I...

But I think our time...
I think our time is past.

- I think that we're over...
- No, no, no.

I have to go.

I need you to listen to me.

- I have to go, bye.
- I need you to trust me.

Goodbye, goodbye!

Yes!

Ha, ha!

There's a house on a street

- by the sea.
- By the sea.

With faded blue shingles,
weathered to gray.

It's lights burning bright,

- but never for me.
- But never for me.

- Ready to be wowed?
- You're gonna show me... Yeah.

- Watch!
- Wow.

Whoever wins the fourth card
gets all those cards.

Fuck!

Shit!

What was your father like?

He was a good man.

He was Canadian.

He always told me growing up,
if things got real bad here,

I should claim my
birthright up north.

If things get worse,
I might have to.

You want to come with me
to Canada

at the end of the world?

I'll be there.

Do you ever get scared?

You know, the virus?

Yeah. All the time.

It doesn't stop.

I want... deep dish.

You know?
You ever had deep dish?

How deep?

I got you.

- Are you kidding me?
- Oh!

Ooh! I gotta you!

That's what I mean
when you can't...

You can't fuck with this.
Fuckin' won it all.

Fuckin' queen of
the cards. Boom!

What was
your mother like?

Bury your brightness,
my shiny sweet pea.

I can't talk about my mother.

Would you like to see my boob?
How about that?

When you were a kid,

did you think
it would be like this?

I thought
it'd be worse.

We're so far away
from each other, Beth.

Why don't we just
stay up here

a little while longer?

I love you.

It's your
long lost friend.

The same friend that missed
going to the Tony Awards Live

because you broke
your fucking ankle.

Remember that?
Wasn't that fun?

Maybe you can
call me back now. Okay.

Hey Beth,

I know that we're not
seeing each other anymore,

but this is a friendly reminder
to do your exercises today.

Take care of yourself, Beth.
It works if you work it.

I saw this woman with really big sunglasses today

and it made me think of the time
that you stabbed yourself in the eye.

That was such
a good time.

Um...
But call me back

and we can talk about it.

Hey, Eddie.
Oh, my God, last night.

Anyway, I... I tried to
video call you today

and you weren't online

and all of my texts are
saying they're not delivered.

I guess I'm
a little bit worried.

Give me a call back.
I love you. Bye.

Eddie. Eddie.

Pick up.

Please pick up.

Okay, okay, okay.

Ow, ow, ow.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Hey, Eddie.

It's me, um,
just checking in.

I, um...

I fell and I hurt myself
pretty bad,

and, uh, I guess I'm
a little freaked out.

I've never lost time like that

and, um...
I don't know,

maybe it's time I start, uh,
listening to my doctor.

Maybe it's time I actually
start doing this work.

Um...

so I guess I just
wanted to say hi,

and, uh...

just let you know that
I'm, uh...

I'm... I'm doing better,

I'm feeling better,
I'm feeling stronger

and, um...

I really miss you,
and, uh...

if this is...
if this is it,

I... I don't know
what happened.

I don't know...

I don't know what's
going on with you,

but, uh, if this is it,

I just want you to know
that I love you a lot,

and I'm really grateful
to have met you.

Turn that heat up
to make a personal sauna,

to sweat your toxins out.

It's easy and
you can do it at home.

Did you know that your skin
is your biggest organ?

If you're feeling sluggish or if you
just want to boost your immune system

in these frightening times
we're living in,

you need to sweat out all
the things that bog you down.

It's time to detox, girl.
You'll be so glad you did.

Hi. Hi, where...
where were you?

I was so worried.
You're...

Oh, God. What's wrong?
What happened?

My mother's dead.

She died.

I've been drinking.

Oh.

They came over in these...

these hazmat suits.

Fucking hazmat suits.
They came over,

and they told me I had to
go into another room.

They... They plastic off,
you know,

all plastic all over
all the doors and the kitchen.

And then I wasn't able to...

I couldn't even see them
take her out.

They put her in a bag
and they took her

and they told me,
unfortunately,

they have to burn the body
because of this virus

and that they can't risk it.

They can't put...

They can't put her in
a place where this...

That they were gonna
cremate her.

That's it. It's just
fuckin' burn her up.

I can't... I can't even have
a fucking funeral.

They're gonna burn her up.
That's what they told on me.

It's not like we got
family or anything.

I mean, it was just...

It was just her and I.

I know it's really
fucked up right now,

and I don't know,
really know what to say

that isn't gonna...

sound like some kind of...

manufactured
Hallmark greeting.

I just need...

I need for you to feel it

because I know that that's
what the drinking was.

You were... You were
trying not to feel.

That's...

something I think that's
pretty natural to feel,

you don't want to feel this.

It's the most horrible
feeling in the world.

But I want to thank you
for reaching out to me.

Um, and I don't want you
to feel ashamed,

but I do need
for you to feel it.

And you can feel it.
You can feel it here with me.

I'm gonna feel it
right along with you.

And you do have something
to live for. All right?

And...

you can't disappear like that
again on me, all right?

- I promise.
- You can't do that.

I was so ashamed, I...

But you don't
have to be ashamed.

Can you come here?

Can... Can you...

Can you come here
to Rhode Island?

Can you... Can you
be here with me?

I... I need you.

Can you get here physically,
can you come to me?

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I... I can't, um...

I can't fly, uh,

that'd be
too dangerous for me, um...

Yeah, no, no, no you can't.

But... But... But I can drive,
I can drive.

I mean, I could...
I could leave tonight.

I will literally pack a bag
right now and I will come.

- You can drive here?
- Yes, I can dr...

- You can come?
- Yes, yes, I've done it before.

I used to live on
the East Coast.

I've done this drive.
I know what it's...

I know what it takes and
I know the fastest routes.

I could literally
leave in the next hour.

I have the map, I have GPS.

I have a full tank of gas
and I have money.

I can get there to you.
Okay?

Let's do this. It's been long
enough and this is an emergency.

Wait, wait, Beth, Beth,
Beth. The borders are shut.

No, they're not.

What do you mean?

The borders,
the borders,

the borders to here are shut.

- How do you...
- They're patrolling the borders, I... I...

They can't do that.

That can't be true.
That's not American.

What? Are you serious?

I can't... I can't get...
I can't get out of here.

I couldn't even...
I couldn't come see you,

even if I could
get out of here.

I couldn't... I couldn't see you
because the bor...

- I'll drive past it.
- I couldn't get to California.

I'll get a ticket.
They can arrest me.

I'm gonna wear a fucking mask.
I'm gonna wear gloves.

I'm gonna wear a face shield
and I will bust past it.

They can't stop me.

What are they gonna do?
Are they gonna arrest me?

- Eddie?
- I don't know, I don't... I don't know.

I mean, if it's
the National Guard,

if it's...
I mean, what are they...

I don't know.
They're keeping people out.

Could they fire on you?
I don't know.

I can't risk...
I can't risk that.

I can't... Fuck!
I can't risk that.

I can't risk you coming
here and having...

It wouldn't be safe for
you to travel alone,

Having to go through
borders to get here,

if every border is shut down.

You can't come down here.

So what are we gonna do then,
though?

'Cause...

Then what? I...

What are...

Just wait it out?
Just keep waiting it out?

I can't...

Okay, that's what we'll do.

If that's what we have to do,
that's what we have to do.

We'll wait it out, then,
we'll wait it out.

It won't... They can't keep
the borders shut that long.

They... They can't, they can't.
They can't do that.

This won't last.

I just
want to get out of here.

I want to get out of here.

I don't want to be here anymore.

Okay.

I just want to get out,
I want to go.

I want to get away.
I gotta get out.

I mean, we need
a fresh start, right?

We need, we need to...

A fresh start, yeah,
where the air is clean,

somewhere away from...

away from cities
and all this...

Somewhere remote,
somewhere where we could...

where we could just be
you and me and we...

- I gotta get out.
- Okay.

I gotta
get out of here.

We'll... We'll do it,
we will.

We just have to wait
a little while longer.

But it won't be that long,
I promise.

I will be there, I promise.

I just don't know when.

I just need you here, Beth.
I need you with me.

I just want to be with you.
I just... I just...

I want to
get away from this.

And I want to be with you.
I just want to get out of here.

Just please, just hold on a
little while longer, all right?

We're gonna do this.

I don't know how,
but we're gonna do this.

Okay, so, um...

what do you...
what do you think about, uh...

Everybody deserves a funeral.

Grow safe in the dark.

Let feelings fly free.

Where lights once burned bright,

but never for me.

At the house...

on the street by the sea.

What about
some of the stretches?

Have you... Have you been able
to sorta move a little?

Just little stretches,
like little...

just stretch your
deltoids and your...

I know it's not...

It's the blood flow.

Yeah, honestly, just... just
moving a little bit every day

makes such a difference
for your head.

I mean, honestly, I...
I used to not be one of those people,

but I... but I kind of get it
a little bit better now.

Just sort of, you know,
just stretching and just...

I don't know,
I just want you to

keep your circulation up.

We just gotta keep moving,
we just have to keep...

I know, I know it hurts.

I'm sure everything hurts.
I wish I was there.

Will you meet me
in the astral?

Um...

I need... I need an escape
from this right now.

I... I need... I need...

- And it's been a while.
- Yeah.

I could really use
some time.

Time to not... not really
be in my head down here.

Of course I will, um...

- I'll do that.
- You will?

Yeah, no, I want to,
I... I really... I want to.

It's been a long time

and I just want to
see you smile again.

So I just...

Yeah, I'll meet you there.

So where do you
want to go?

Beth?

Where are you?

Beth?

Can you here me?

I'm here.

Can't you see me?

You have to wake up now.
It's no good here.

Please. Beth,
open your eyes now.

Please, Beth,
open your eyes.

Beth? Beth,
where are you? Beth?

Come on, snap out of it, Beth?

Beth, come back to me,
I'm right here.

Follow my voice too get out.

I'm right here.

What was that?
What was that?

What? What?

Talk to me, talk to me.
What... What...

What were you talking about?

What was that?

- Are you okay?
- No.

I was in...
I saw... I saw...

- What is it?
- I was seeing things,

I was seeing some
really bad things.

There were... there were people...
there were people,

they were shouting,
there were shadows.

And it was... it was... it was...
it was... it was just darkness.

And there was blood
and I couldn't breathe.

And there was blood in my throat
and I was throwing it up.

I don't know where you were.
I could hear you,

but you weren't there.

I couldn't find you.
I couldn't find where you were.

I mean... Oh, God, Beth,
you're safe, you're safe,

you're here, you're here.

I was injured and I was...
there was...

there was so much blood
but then I got back

- and it was okay, and...
- I saw them.

I said I saw them too.

What's happening?

I was afraid of this.

I thought we had
pushed past it.

I was...

Pushed past what, Eddie?

There... There...
There are risks.

I thought that this was just
some fun meditation stuff.

I'm really confused
and I'm really scared.

I didn't...
I thought we were okay.

I thought we were okay.

Our mind...

Our mind wants our body back.

I don't want to live in
this fantasy anymore.

Okay?

I feel like it's
the end of the world.

Hey, Mom.

I remember. Now.

I remember you choking me.

I remember
not being able to breathe,

feeling like my body
was on fire.

I remember you telling me
how much you hated grandma

'cause she would dump
all of your breast milk.

I even went to live
with her for a while.

I was too young,
I don't...

I don't really remember
all the details,

but I do remember that.

Why would... Why would
someone dump breast milk?

It's 'cause you were drinking,

'cause you... you didn't
know how to cope.

I know that you smoked with me
when you were pregnant

and you drank with me,

and you needed it
for your nerves.

I know that 'cause
nobody ever helped you,

'cause your dad hit you...

'cause you were raped.

'Cause you lost people
that you cared about.

And I think that you carry that
around with you.

And I think that you wanted
a baby so bad

because you wanted pure love,

and you got that
but I was sick.

I was just a sick kid.

And I think that
that was probably

really overwhelming for you.

And I think that with all
the trauma that you endured,

and I think that with all...

all the abuse,

the genetic predisposition
for depression,

anxiety, all these things,

I think you were mentally ill.

I think there was
a diagnosis in there,

but nobody...

They let you down, Mom.

And then you lost your mind
and you died.

And that's not fair.

And I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, Mom.

But I just need to say it,
that I do remember.

I remember now

and I think that you had
postpartum depression.

You just didn't know
how to cope with...

With me.

And so you hurt me.

You hurt me before dad hurt me.

Before anybody else hurt me.

Before I became just
a magnet...

for dysfunction.

And tragedy.

And I look at my life
and I just think...

God, so much wasted time...

hurting,
feeling like this.

And then I think back,
and God,

this is how you must've felt
your entire fucking life.

And it's unbearable.
I don't know how you did it.

I know you did
the best that you could.

And I know that you
stored that trauma

and that dysfunction
in your body...

and then you gave it to me.

And you probably got it
from your folks,

and then their folks
and then their folks.

And I've just been
giving it to myself.

But I don't want to
do that anymore.

I need to be done
with this.

I'm really sorry that
all of that happened to you.

And I know that you loved me.
I know that.

I loved you too,
I still love you, Mom.

And I just want you to know...

that it's okay.
It's okay now.

You're safe now.

But I'm done with this.

Okay.

Okay.

Firefighters are being flown in

from various other states today

to help combat the
ever-growing Vincent Fire,

now spread to many parts of
Central and Northern California.

The Governor has declared
a state of emergency.

In breaking news,

federal troops,
the National Guard

and secret police
are being deployed

into major cities
across America,

effective immediately.

Military tanks
have been deployed

and reports state that
local law enforcement

is cooperating with
the commanders...

...who now have total and absolute control.

What does this mean for
the American people?

The military can
arrest civilians

for no stated reason,

thus suspending
habeas corpus.

Civil liberties such as
the right to free speech

and protection from
unreasonable search and seizure

is suspended.

The speaker says this...

Hi. Oh, my God.
I've been trying to get a hold of you.

I don't know if
you've seen the news.

This is absolutely
fucking crazy.

Hi.

Hi.

Why do you... You look
like you are sick.

No.

You look like
you have a fever.

You look...
you look feverish.

I got a little bit
of a fever, all right?

I'm not gonna lie to you.

I'm just sweating
a little, that's all.

It's humid here.

So it's okay.

Yeah, it's... it's...
it's... it's okay.

Are you sure that you...

actually want to be with me?

I'll need help with things,

it's not always going to be...

you know, romantic.

I know... I know it hurts
and I know that it's hard.

It's... It's...
it's hard to breathe,

but it says... it says that
if you can just

kind of, like,
lean forward

and... and just kind of,
like, hit your...

like, I think it means that,

you know, if I were there,
I would do it.

It's like, if...
you kind of got to, like,

pound on your chest a little bit just
to kind of like loosen up the mucus

because it's...
it's just settling

and you can't move
and you have to move,

but I know you can't move.

I get moody.

It can get dark,

and I don't want you
to see that.

There's a house
on a street

by the sea.

Hi.

Hi.