Born in East L.A. (1987) - full transcript
Rudy is an American of Mexican descent who is caught up in an immigration raid on a factory. Deported to Mexico as an undocumented immigrant, he has no way of proving that he is in fact an American citizen, and is forced to rely on his cunning to sneak his way back home.
♪ I was born in East L.A. ♪
♪ Man, I was born in East LA. ♪
- Good morning, L.A.
This is KRLA with Huggie
Boy request and dedications.
It's 7:45 a.m.,
and La Sad Girl just called
us on our dedication line.
She wants to dedicate a song
to all the homies stationed in Japan,
All the guys in the Service.
Okay, here it comes, Sad Girl, on KRLA.
- Rudy!
Rudy!
- Okay, okay, all
right, I'm up, I'm up.
- Come on, breakfast is ready.
Well, how do you like it?
- How do I like what?
- The picture.
- Oh, God.
- I already had Father Sanchez
from next door bless it.
- Yeah, it looks great, Mom,
but it's covering the phone here.
- Well, I'll move it later.
I just wanted to see how it looks.
- Okay.
- Ah, mi hijo, before I forget,
I rented the house across the street.
- Hmm, good.
- Here's some money.
Now, I want you to deposit
it in the bank on Monday.
Okay?
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- All right.
Hey, you kids.
I told you, don't ride
your bikes in the house.
- Robbie let me
out, Robbie let me out!
- You listen to your Uncle Rudy!
- Yeah, you listen to your uncle.
Maybe their hearing hasn't developed yet.
Is there anything else, I'd
like to eat my breakfast
before it grows green hair on it.
- As a matter of fact, there is.
- I had to ask.
- Oye, please, after work, go
pick up your cousin Javier.
- Who's Javier?
- He's your cousin, dummy.
- Can't you pick him up?
- Me?
I can't pick him up, we're leaving.
- Where you going?
- We're going to Fresno.
Don't you remember?
Chella, the kids and
I are going to Fresno.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, we're gonna be gone almost a week.
- The tub of water!
- Ah, okay, all right,
where do I gotta go?
- It's a toy factory on
South Anderson Street,
downtown Los Angeles.
And he doesn't even speak any English.
- Oh, great, Mom.
You know my Spanish isn't that good.
- Ay, mi hijo, don't worry
about it, you'll be just fine.
- Uh, one small detail, what
does this guy look like?
- His name is Javier Morales.
- Oh, rocket scientist, huh?
- Hmm, well, just ask for Javier Morales.
How many can there be?
- Probably only 50, it's
a slow day at the border.
- Ugh, thank you, mi
hijo, for going, bye-bye.
- I'm gonna go to work.
Good luck, Mom.
- Mom!
♪ Ah ♪
♪ ♪
- What it is, Rudy!
- Yo!
Oh...
Boom boom boom boom.
Hey, come on, move.
Get out of the way, ya dummy!
♪ Born ba da bom ♪
Hello, eye candy.
Hey, you give out fries with those shakes?
Oh, mama, looks like two puppies
fightin' under a blanket.
Hey, baby.
Ooh.
Hey, hey, look at me, over here!
Hey, mama!
Hey, look, I'm driving with no hands.
Hey, look, no hands.
You need a tour of the lake?
Come on, we'll go skinny-dipping.
Hey!
Hey, anybody seen a redheaded
girl in a green dress?
Whoo!
- Excuse me.
Any of you people seen a
redheaded girl in a green dress?
- Hi.
- Duh!
- Uh...
Uh, hi uh, can I help you?
- My car was supposed to
be ready over a week ago.
I have this black Peugeot.
- You have a Mack Peugeot?
- oui.
- Hey, I knew you weren't
a natural redhead.
Yeah, your car is ready.
I'm just putting the finishing
touches on it right now.
It's all ready to go.
- Hey, Rudy!
It's finished, man.
- Oh, be right there, man.
Listen, I'll be right with you.
Just let me take care of this dude, okay?
- Please, I'm in a very much hurry.
Is my car finished?
- Yeah, yeah, it's ready, I
put some extra speakers in.
And I have to show you how to use them.
- I did not authorize speakers.
- That's okay, I put
them in for free though.
- For free?
- Yeah, yeah, free.
But I have to show you how to use them.
Okay, I'll be right back, just
relax and have some matches.
Okay, I'll be right back.
- For free, eh?
- Hey.
- Here It Is, man.
- All right.
- New bridge, easy action.
- Easy action, that's me.
Easy action, man.
- That's right, man.
Pretty smooth, huh?
- Ooh, that's nice.
- Not bad.
- Not bad, man.
Not bad.
Hey, you straightened out the neck too.
- Yeah, straight as your hooter, man.
- All right.
- Hey, what are
you doing this weekend, man?
- Probably just sit home
and Wang Chung, man.
- Yeah?
Why don't you come to my house?
We'll drink some beer and play some tunes.
You provide the beer,
and I'll provide the
chicks and the TV, man.
- That sounds like a plan.
- All right.
Party, everybody, party!
I feel good, ow!
- All right.
- All right.
Well, give me a call.
- Thanks a lot, man, it looks great.
- Yeah, well, take care of it, man.
- Hey, I will, man, that's cherry terry.
- I'll see ya later.
- All right.
- Can you put this in back?
- Yeah, sure.
- Be careful with it.
I just got it fixed, man.
- Okay.
- Put it way in back there.
- You got it.
- If you are through having fun,
I would like to have my car!
- Oh, yeah, yeah, your car's ready.
Come on, you know what
was wrong with your car?
No.
- You had the woofers blown.
Have you ever had your
woofers blown before?
- I don't think so.
- Yeah, well, I did one time in Thailand.
Hoo, it makes your eyes spin, go ahead.
Step into your moving studio.
Get ready for the ultimate experience.
How's the sound?
- Fantastique.
- Have you ever seen this guy?
- No, I haven't.
- Javier Morales.
- This is a raid!
I.N.S.!
- Now, go, go, go, go!
Move it, move it!
- Come on, will you?
- Hey, stop it.
- Oh, no, not again.
I don't believe, hey, wait, wait a minute.
Where are you going with my people?
Wait, wait a minute now.
- Head over to that other bus.
- Listen, I got papers on
every one of these people.
- Yeah, well, we'll have to see 'em first.
- Just step up, wait a
minute, wait a minute!
- Move, move.
- Come on.
- Think we got 'em all?
- Yes, sir, we got 'em.
- Let's move 'em out.
- Help!
Help!
Help!
Get me out of here!
Ow, ow!
Get me down from here.
- Shut that thing off.
- Help, ow!
- Well, what we got here?
Looks like a bean in a beanbag.
- Huh?
- Where's your green card?
- I don't got a green card, man.
- Where were you born?
- What?
- Read my lips, el fago,
where were ya born?
- I was born in East L.A., man.
- You were born in East L.A., huh?
Then who's the president
of the United States?
- That cowboy guy on TV.
The guy who was on Death Valley Days.
Uh, John Wayne.
- Get him out of here.
- I'm an American citizen,
I demand to see my,
I'm not getting on the goddamn bus.
Get your hands off me!
- Off you go!
- You're wiping me out of business.
I got 15, 20 orders.
I gotta have help here, you know?
I don't know what else to do.
It ain't easy to dig up a hundred,
110, 15 guys.
- Leave every day.
- It ain't easy, you know.
This is a lot of bullshit.
You're gonna have to give me a break.
Oh, no.
Give me a, where are you,
why don't you send here?
This is bullshit, ya hear?
Look at this place.
It's like a goddamn morgue in here.
One hour ago, I had 110, 115 good people.
Well, they cleaned me out, those bastards.
That's the third time in six months.
El busto.
They took 'em all away.
Hasta la bye-bye.
It's a raid, you get it?
La Migra.
- Ah, la Migra.
- Exacta-mento, give this
man a rubber tortilla.
By the way, you think maybe
you got a hundred friends
ain't got nothin' to do tomorrow?
Okay, I'll tell ya what, pal.
I got a few phone calls to
make and then I gotta lock up.
You wanna wait outside here?
You wanna wait outside?
Outside-oh?
- Hey!
I'm an American!
I went to Belmont High, ya idiots!
Hey!
Let me out of here, I'm an American!
What are you looking at?
Yeah, who are you?
- Jose Negren.
Welcome to the back of the bus.
- Yeah, well, I won't be here long.
As soon as I get these fuckers
to stop, I'm out of here.
- Ooh, good luck.
These guys don't listen too good.
Maybe the shit they have in their head
is clogging up their ears.
- Well, what happens next?
- First, we take a nap.
When we wake up, we'll be at the border.
Then they take us off the bus.
Then we buy a beer and we figure out
how to be back by Monday.
- Shit.
- You sure you don't
have a hundred friends
that need a job?
Rudy.
- Hey, vato.
Hey, who are you looking for?
No, man, they went to Fresno, ese.
Fresno, they went to Fresno.
Okay, wait right there,
okay, I'll let you in.
Wait.
Hey, vato!
Hey, wanna buy some used lottery tickets?
Lottery, man.
Lot-ta-ria.
Man, I like you, here, you can keep 'em.
Go ahead.
- A gusto.
- Go ahead, man.
- There you go.
I ain't never seen.
I think Elgin Baylor was the only guy--
- Can I talk to you for a minute?
- Welcome to Mexico,
just keep on moving now.
You need to keep going.
- Since this is your first
time, I'm gonna buy you a beer.
- Hey, look, man, just show me
how to get back over to
the American side, huh?
I just wanna get out of
here, that's all I want.
- Okay.
You go all the way down
to the end of the street,
across the bridge, you can't miss it.
- All the way down,
then across the bridge?
- Thanks a lot.
- Okay, who's next here?
- Oh, right here.
It's good to talk to an American.
You'll never believe
what happened to me, man.
- You're probably right.
- First of all, I went down to
the factory to get my cousin.
You know, and I don't even
know what he looks like.
My mother says, 90 to the
factory and pick him up.
You know, I won't lie to you,
he's probably an illegal.
So anyways, I went to the
factory to look for him,
and he's not even there
and so I'm walking around
in the middle of the
factory, all of a sudden
there's a goddamn immigration raid.
The doors fly open and all
these guys come bustin' in.
And then they think that I'm an illegal,
and they grab me and throw me in the bus!
Hey, I want to make a complaint
about that officer right now, man.
This guy was not only
rude, he was degrading.
So anyway, they throw me in
the bus and they deport me.
They bring me down here, so here I am
and all I want to do is go home now, okay?
- Well, that's a real interesting story.
Now, would you mind repeating it
so somebody as slow as
I am can understand?
- Okay.
Okay.
I went down to pick up my cousin.
I don't even know my cousin.
I was walking around--
- Okay, okay.
Okay, let's start with your name.
What is your name?
- Rudy.
- Rudy?
- Rudy Robles.
Well, that's not my real name.
My whole name is.
Guadalupe, my first name.
Guadalupe Rudolfo Robles.
- Okay, Rudy, can you show me some I.D.?
- See, that's the problem,
I don't have any I.D.
I walked out of the
house without my wallet.
It's probably just sitting
there in the living room
right now, you could send
somebody home with me
and it's probably just there.
- I don't think that'll be necessary.
Guadalupe Rudolfo Robles, age 57.
Arrested three times in San Diego,
twice in Los Angeles,
three times in Santa Ana.
Once you made it all the
way up to San Francisco.
You sure like cities named after saints.
- What are you talking about?
- Returned to Mexico as an
illegal alien nine times.
I think we'll make that 10.
- What are you talking
about, 57, I'm not 57.
I don't care what your damn computer says.
- Then show me some I.D.
- I don't have any I.D.,
all I got in my pants
is my dick and 25 cents.
- Then you have enough
to make a phone call.
They can come down and
pick up their little boy.
Listen, amigo, I don't know where
you learned to speak English so well,
and I don't really care.
Now, if you want to make a phone call,
there's a phone booth
right outside the door.
In Mexico, where you belong, Rudy-doo
or Lupely-loo or whatever your name is.
- Hey look, I want to see
your superior officer.
Right now, I know my rights.
- Come and get this guy.
- Get over here, somebody!
I'm an American cm, get. your hands--
- Adios, amigo.
- Get your hands off!
What the hell, get your damn hands off me.
I'm an American citizen, you idiots!
The president of the United States
is Ronald Dickhead Reagan!
- Next.
- Hello?
- Hello, Operator?
- Mm-hmm.
- Operator,
I'd like to make a collect call
to 213-555-4052.
- 555-4050.
- 4052.
- Five, two.
- Yeah, I'll talk to anybody.
Shit.
- I have a
collect call for anyone.
Will you accept?
- Oh, shit, they're in Fresno, god!
- I'm sorry, sir,
your call can't be completed.
- Help, I've been
deported, I'm in Tijuana!
Javier, can you hear me?
Javier!
Operator!
- Senor.
- What, what?
- No, no.
- They have my quarter, they cut me off.
I've been deported, god, shut up!
Hello, hello, Operator, hello!
Guard!
Guard!
- Oye, big boy, hablas Español?
No.
- I like your shoes.
- Oh, thanks.
- I like your shirt too.
- Great.
- I really like your pants.
Why don't you take off your pants?
- Yeah, man, take off the pants.
- Uh, what are you guys in for?
- Good times.
- Guard!
Guard, guard!
Guard, guard!
Aagh!
- Hey, you want these guys
to stop fucking with you?
- Hey, get the guard!
- You don't need to call the guard.
I can make them stop.
- Well, make 'em stop, make 'em stop!
- Behind me, Satan, get behind me.
Go away.
Name's Feo.
May it please the Lord.
- Yeah, I'm glad to meet ya, Feo.
Thanks a lot.
- Oh, you don't have to thank me, brother.
You just have to pay me.
- What?
- The Lord's standard
fee for rescue is $200.
But for you, the Lord says
100, cash.
- A hundred bucks, get lost.
- Suit yourself, friend.
- Judge me, O Lord, for I
have walked in my innocence.
- Make 'em stop, make 'em stop!
- I'd like to help you,
but I'm busy getting lost.
- I don't have a hundred dollars.
- You could owe it to the Lord.
- What?
- You can owe it to the Lord.
- All right, I'll owe it to you.
- I don't want to force you
into doing something you don't wanna do.
- Who, who's forcing, I
wanna, I want to do it.
I owe you a hundred dollars!
- Get behind me, Satan, get behind me.
- Eh
- Let's do him together.
- With the Lord in an
everlasting covenant.
- Yeah, all right, all
right, what's the deal?
I mean, how am I supposed
to pay you when I'm in here
for I don't know what, I don't know when
I'm going to get out, I
don't have a hundred dollars.
- The Lord understands, my brother.
You pay off when you get out.
Or you work it off while you're in here.
- Out, you, out.
- Please.
- You can go now.
They can only hold you 24 hours
for beating up a telephone.
- I can go?
- You can go now.
- Don't forget, brother,
you owe us a hundred.
- Yeah, here's one of 'em, fuck you.
- The wrath of God will
follow you, heathen.
♪ Freak out ♪
- Hey, what do you mean,
you don't work here anymore?
- At Pepe's
bar, they pay me twice.
- Then why don't
you go work for Pepe?
- Oh, eat shit.
- Oh, yeah, eat this, eat this, sucker!
Goddamn it!
Son of a bitch, I hate this fucking place!
What are you looking at?
- Nothing.
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
- Do you speak English?
- Yeah.
- Well, that's great, that's
great, you want a job?
- A job?
- A job.
Yeah, boy, you want a job,
you know what a job is?
Do you want one?
- Doing what?
- Being the goddamn president
of the United States.
What do ya think?
- Ronald Reagan.
- Huh?
- Uh, uh, what do you want me to do?
- You just gotta stand out here
and get people to go in the bar.
Just get the people in
the bar, that's all.
- How do I do that?
- You just, you just get 'em!
Use your imagination, Jesus.
What the fuck am I talking about, man?
Do I have to do everything
for every goddamn person
in the whole fucking world?
Forget it!
- Wait, wait.
Can I get something to eat?
- Yeah, sure, sure, you see
that pool hall over there?
You go upstairs to that
pool hall in a couple hours.
You ask for me, I'm Jimmy, okay.
I'll get you anything you want
to eat, now what's your name?
- Rudy.
- Rudy, alright, Rudy.
Welcome aboard, welcome aboard.
Now look, here comes a
guy, now, go get him.
Go on, boy, get him, sic 'em!
Clean up this mess too.
♪ Freak out ♪
- Uh, wanna come in, come in the bar?
Uh, wanna come in?
- Don't touch me!
I'm an American citizen.
- Chuck you, Farley.
♪ Freak out ♪
- Easy, open up, Pepe.
You're not a very good teacher.
- Give me this, look.
- Two lessons.
- The bartender said to give you this.
- Huh, oh, hey, huh?
Hey, not bad for a couple hours of work.
Hey, you hungry, why
don't you sit down here.
Have something to eat,
come on, you hungry?
Hey, Miguel.
This time why don't you
try some English out there?
- Hey, try some Spanish.
- So you hungry, huh,
what do you want to eat?
- Whatever, man, I don't care.
- Well, you name it.
Uh, steak and a beer.
- Steak and beer, you got it.
Hey Dolores, yeah!
Yeah, man, you're gonna
like these tacos, boy.
They taste just like steak.
- Whatever.
- Hey, vato, where
you from anyways, huh?
- Uh, L.A.
- Nah, I mean, you know,
where were you born?
- L.A.
- Hey, you don't have
to worry about me, man.
I'm not the Migra.
- Hey, man, I was born in East L.A., okay?
- Okay, whatever you say.
Oh, hey, here's your tacos.
- Hey, asshole!
Hey, hey, watch the felt!
Hey hey, hey hey hey!
- Hello, baby.
- What?
- What's he saying, that's right.
Napkin, how do you say napkin?
- You say nap-kin.
- Oh, you speak English.
- Of course, don't you speak Spanish?
- Uh, well, not very well.
Uh, maybe you could teach me.
- I have to get back to work.
- What?
- Enjoy your food.
- Oh.
I'd rather dis-froot-ee you, baby,
but the food will have to do right now.
- So what the hell are you
doing in Tijuana anyways?
I mean, the job market
must be really bad in LA.
- It's a big mistake that I'm here.
- Yeah, me too.
- All I wanna do is get back home.
- Well, this is your lucky day.
You just happen to be talking to
the number one coyote
west of the Mississippi.
You just place your order,
I'll get you across the border.
- Yeah, let's go.
- Okay, finish your supper.
Now, since you're such
a good friend of mine,
I mean, since we go back such a long way,
I'm gonna let you take advantage
of the half-price sale
that's going on right now.
Now, normally, the fee is $500.
But for you, 400.
- Your half-price sale, huh?
- Three-fifty.
- How am I gonna get $350, man,
I don't got a cent to my name.
- Hey, you made some money
tonight, yeah, I mean,
in just a couple hours, you brought in,
you brought in 48 people.
10 cents a head, that's $4.20 right there.
I'm telling you, at this
rate, two weeks' time,
you're gonna have enough money.
I mean, if you work overtime.
- I can't stay here two
weeks, I gotta get home.
Oh, man.
Look, is there a phone
around here I can use?
- No, no phone.
Only phone I got's got a lock
on it, and I lost the key.
- How about a pay phone, is
there a pay phone around?
- Yeah, there's a pay
phone out in the alley.
- Can I borrow a quarter?
I'll mail you a check.
- All right.
It's comin' off your tab.
- All right, thanks a lot.
- And them tacos are 2.50.
They're normally three
bucks, but I like you.
- Hello?
- Operator, I'd like
to call area code 213,
number 555-4736, please.
- 213-555-4736.
Deposit 75 cents, sir.
- Pardon, how much?
- 75 cents for
the first minute, please.
- Okay, don't hang up, all right?
Okay, just wait a minute.
Mister, do you got 50 cents, please?
- Go on, get outta here.
- Give me 50 cents, or I'll
cut your fuckin' heart out!
- Sure, sure, here, just don't hurt me.
I love your people, take all you want.
- Thank you, mister.
Hello, Operator, are you still there?
Hello?
- Hello.
- Okay, all right, here it goes.
- Hello?
- Hello, Oscar, Oscar, this is Rudy.
Listen, I'm--
- Who?
Who is this?
- It's Rudy, man.
Listen, I'm in trouble.
I'm in Mexico.
- I can't hear you.
Let me turn the music down.
- Well, hurry up.
- There.
Now, who do you wanna speak to?
- Oscar, listen, this is Rudy, man,
I'm in Mexico, I've been deported.
I need you to go to my house, get my--
- Oh, you want Oscar.
Well, I'm not home now,
but you can leave a message
when you hear the beep, sucker!
- Shit.
Gah!
- I told ya we shouldn't
have stopped here for a beer.
I told ya, let's keep right
on driving to Los Angeles.
But no, you had to stop,
and I nearly got killed.
- Oh,
Harry, will you shut up?
Okay, okay, okay, we will
leave for LA. right now.
Does that make you feel better?
Oh, you wish, you wish.
You wanna unlock this door
so I can get my sweater?
- Alright, alright, alright.
- Hurry up, hurry up.
Hurry up.
- Do I need this?
- Yes!
- Do I want this?
- Oh fine.
My mother told me never to marry you.
I should have listened to
her in the first place.
Do you think you could turn
on the car and warm it up
a little bit--
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh fine, fine.
- That's what I plan to do
so we can drive away from here.
All right?
- Fine, drive.
- How does that sound?
- How long have you been in Mexico?
- Uh, about two weeks.
We've been camping up and down the coast.
Had a wonderful time, right, dear?
- Oh yes, Mexico is beautiful.
And the people are just
wonderful, we love them.
- Did you bring back
any fruits, vegetables,
or liquor of any kind?
- Oh, no, sir, we haven't,
nothing like that.
- Can I have your identification, sir?
Thank you.
- Get away from the car.
Get away from the car.
Fuck.
- Ho, jackpot!
- Bingo
- Whoa, hey, fuckin, we
got something here for ya.
Look at this.
Oh.
- Keep it coming, keep it coming.
- Fuck me?
No.
Fuck you.
Isaiah.
Chapter five, Verse 20,
woe to those that call the
evil good and the good evil.
Woe to those that call the darkness light
and the light darkness.
Woe to those--
- Oh, just cut the shit
and get me outta here!
- Oh, just cut the shit
and get you outta here.
Think I can snap my fingers
and the doors fly open?
- Well, can't you?
- Yeah.
- Look, get me out of here,
and I'll do whatever you want.
- Anything that I want?
Anything that I want.
Well, what do you think?
Do you think you can handle it?
- I hope this works the first time.
Five, four, three, two, one.
You were sitting on the needle.
Sorry about that.
Ah.
All right, let's, uh,
what, uh, where was this tattoo now?
- It's on my chest.
- Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah, that's a nice tattoo.
- No, it's a picture of my wife.
- A lovely lady.
She's a bitch.
She sent me a letter saying
she's going to divorce me.
- Oh.
- I want you to take it off.
- Take it off?
- Yeah.
- Uh, gah.
I can't take it off.
I mean, once they're on there,
they're on there for good.
Don't you still love her?
- She ran away with my brother.
- Oh.
Well, uh, at least she kept
it in the family.
Um.
I don't, maybe I could, uh,
I don't, change it, um, yeah.
I could, uh, I don't know, uh,
hey, what if we give her
a black eye right there?
And, uh, maybe, uh, black
out some of her teeth.
And break her nose.
I know, cut her throat.
No, no, I got it, I got it.
We'll draw a gun in here on this side,
and on that side, flying
brains out that side.
- Yeah!
- You love it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay, you wait right there.
I'll go get the stuff.
Okay, well, just relax, and,
um, think about your wife.
Okay, we're almost done.
All right, all right, I'm done.
Okay.
Let me just put a little
alcohol on that--
Sit still or it'll get infected.
All right, let's get some air on it there.
All right, uh, I'm gonna go, uh,
go outside and get a
breath of air for a minute.
You just relax, okay?
- Yeah.
- All right, don't move.
- Hello?
- Hey Jimmy.
Hey, uh,
can I talk to you a minute?
- Hey, East L.A.,
how you, hey, Dolores.
Boyfriend's back.
What happened to you, man?
I thought you got lost or something.
- Yeah, uh, I got hung up.
You remember the other day,
you said you could get
me across the border?
- Uh-huh.
- Can you still do it?
Um, I don't have the money on me now, man,
but I swear to God, as soon as I get home,
I'll send it to you.
- I'm not as dumb as you look.
I need the money.
- Hey well, I'll go home,
and I'll bring it right back to you.
Man, I'll just get In my car--
- Money.
- Look, I gotta get home.
♪ I need the money money ♪
♪ Money ♪
- I'm in trouble, man.
- Why don't you try the canyon?
You know how to run?
All right.
Here we go.
See those people down there?
- Yeah.
- Those are the polios.
Chickens.
Do you get it?
All right, now, all they wanna do,
they just wanna get to America.
- Join the club.
- All right, now, see
those trucks over there?
The green and white trucks?
- Yeah.
- Those are the bad guys.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Now here's what's gonna happen.
The polios are gonna run
down into the canyons.
The bad guys are gonna come in.
They're gonna chase them.
And they're gonna catch them.
But you see, they're not
gonna catch all of them.
Now, see those trucks over there?
Those are the coyotes.
If you can make it to those guys,
you can cut a deal with them,
they'll take you anywhere you wanna go,
even back to East LA.
Now, what you want to do...
Rudy?
- Okay, and you're here,
okay, and I'm here.
Okay, you guys, voom, voom, voom.
You guys, voom, voom, voom.
Choom, boom, he's out
of there, I'm home free.
Okay, ready?
- Orale!
- Hey, wetbacks!
- Down.
Ready?
Go!
Left, left!
- Every one of you is under arrest!
- Hey!
Got one!
- I'm an American citizen.
I was born in Los Angeles.
- You heard
about Michael Jordan?
- Who the hell is he?
- My parents were born in Los Angeles.
My grandparents were born in Los Angeles.
You're making a mistake.
I'm an American citizen.
I don't even speak Spanish.
Cabron!
Pasaports, green cards.
Cigars, cigarettes, candy.
Cigars, cigarettes.
- Hey, pasaporte.
- Passport?
Okay, you're now Iranian.
Your name is Achmed.
Welcome to America, Achmed.
- Gracias.
- Cigars, cigarettes, chiclets.
Candy, cigarettes.
- Green card?
- Green card.
Okay, you're now Fernando Valenzuela.
You had 21 wins last year.
All right.
- Hey, you!
I'm talking to you.
I need a beer.
Bring me some beer now.
How come you're not here with a beer yet?
I want a beer now!
Cerveza!
- Cerveza?
Tall boy.
- Sorry, sir,
both lines are busy.
- Okay, thanks.
Hello, Jimmy.
- Huh?
Oh, hey.
- Hey, listen, man.
You got another job for me?
I ran out of business.
- Uh, yeah.
You know, as a matter of fact, I do.
- Oh, good.
- Seeing as you're from East LA. and all.
Yeah, yeah.
I got something that's
right up your sidewalk.
Yeah.
Hey, those boys, you see
those boys out there?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Now, those boys, they
got jobs up in East LA.
As soon as they get there.
But the problem is, last
time they was up there,
they got popped,
'cause they don't speak
no English, you see.
Now, what I want you to do is
I want you to teach them to kinda,
you know, blend in and stuff.
- All they gotta do to blend in
in East LA. is look brown.
- Now you want this job or not?
The job pays, uh, it pays,
uh, 10, $10 a lesson.
Yeah.
I get, uh, I get four, you get six.
How's that sound?
- Why don't you just teach them yourself
and keep the whole thing?
- All right, I'll tell you what.
50/ 50, what do you say?
- Let's go before it changes again.
- All right.
Oh, yeah.
By the way, uh, these guys here,
they don't speak Spanish either.
No, these are O.T.M.'s here.
- O.T.M.'s?
- Yeah, well, the border patrol's
only got two classifications.
They got Mexican, and they
got Other Than Mexican.
- O.T.M-
- O.T.M., that's right.
You're catching on here.
Now, these boys here,
I think they're Chinese
or Indian or somethin'.
But don't worry about it,
it'll be a piece of cake.
All right, boys, listen up.
Now, this right here is your
new profesoro right there.
You listen to him, okay?
Good.
- Chinese Indians.
Time-out.
Okay.
What are you, playing blind man's bluff?
Here, take this off.
Here, like this.
You look like you're
gonna rob a 7-11, man.
This is not burglary.
What have you got, a toothache?
Take this off.
Okay stop, look.
This is the way you do it, okay?
Just roll it up.
There you go.
Now you put it on your head.
That's why they call it a head band.
Okay?
Headband.
See?
Now you got head band.
- Head band.
- Okay.
All right.
Now you wanna say something, okay?
So let's say you see a guy
walking down the street,
and you wanna say hi.
You go, orale, vato, waas sappening?
Again.
Orale, vato, waas sappening?
Yeah, hold on here, check this out.
All right, okay, watch this here.
Waa-S-S-A-P-P-E-N-I-N-G .
See?
Waas sappening?
You don't read English.
Waas sappening, see?
All right just 90, like, waas sappening?
- Wa happena!
- Haas.
- Waas sappening?
- Waas.
- Sappeni--
- Sappeni--
- Waas sappening, yeah.
- Waas sappening?
Waas sappening?
- Yes, that's it, you got it!
- Waas sappening?
- Waas sappening?
All right!
All you gotta do to have attitude
is just lower your headband.
That's it, like this, man, okay?
In the bad position.
See?
- Bad, bad.
- Now, just lean your head back like this.
Like you're listening to some hip music
that only you can hear, all right, man?
Digging it, all right?
Take this hand and put it in here.
Like you're playing pocket
pool or somethin', man.
All right, okay.
Now, this hand, you go back here,
like you just cut one and you
wanna shoo away the smell.
It goes like that, let's try it, man.
Cruise, man.
Orale, vato, waas sappening?
- Orale, vato, waas sappening?
- Get down, mama!
- Get down!
Mama.
- I say, waas sappening?
- I say, waas sappening?
- All right, here we go.
- Happen happen!
Happening!
- Waas sappening?
Waas sappening?
- Waas sappening?
- All right, try this one.
I say gaucho.
- Hey, gaucho.
- Hey Simon, Limon?
- Waas sappening?
- All right.
- Waas sappening?
Suave.
- Shake and then shake.
Shake and that.
And then him.
- Bim.
- Bim.
- Bim.
- Ayah!
- Waas sappening, mama?
- Ooh, mama.
- All right.
- Waas sappening?
Waas sappening, waas sappening?
- Hey, bitchin', mama.
Totally rad, whoo, bitchin'.
Yeah, whoo!
Hey, get back here.
Hey, relax.
Relax, man.
This little tattoo's gonna
make you blend right in.
Pretty soon they won't be able
to tell you from the natives.
Next thing you know, you got
a job, make a little money,
Get a little place, get a credit card.
Start making payments on a
Toyota, just like an American.
- Is that all it takes to be an American,
is to buy useless things?
- You think having a car
in LA. is useless things?
Try to get around in
LA. without a car, man,
you end up with feet look
like Donald Duck, honey.
So, uh, where you from anyways?
- El Salvador.
- Oh, yeah?
I know some girls from El Salvador,
except they're all disco bunnies.
- What is die-so bunnies?
- Disco bunnies.
It's, uh, you know, girls
that hang around discos.
You know, you buy 'em a
drink, you dance with them.
You end up driving them all
over LA. in your useless car.
- Disco bunnies.
- Yeah, that's it.
You got it.
Hey, hey, I was just teasing you.
Women.
- Waas sappening?
- Hello, mi'jo.
Are you there?
What are you doing?
Are you being good?
Javier?
Are you there?
Javier?
- Is sin making you lonely?
You ask yourself, is
sin making you lonely?
- Hey, uh, Jimmy.
- Huh?
- Hey, man.
Hey listen, you got any
other jobs I could do, man?
I need to make some money
a little bit quicker.
- Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do.
- Oh good.
- If you don't mind being naked.
Nah, I'm just kiddin' ya.
I got a job, follow me.
- Hey, uh, so listen, what are you doing
down here in T.J. anyways, man?
- Oh, you know.
- No.
- Well, you know, it's kinda
like in them cowboy movies,
you know, when the two
guys are on horseback,
and they're riding across the plains,
and the posse is chasing them, you know?
- Yeah.
- One guy says to the other guy,
if we can just make it
to the Mexican border,
then we can make it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- All right, here it is.
Don't take no wooden pesos.
- Gotta have 'em, gotta
have 'em, gotta have 'em.
Hey, yo!
YO! YO, YO, YO, YO, YO!
Gotta have 'em, oranges!
Yo, yo yo!
Come on, get your oranges.
Here you go, fresh oranges.
Right here.
Come on.
Yeah, well, hope you die of scurvy.
- No steal, no steal.
- Oh.
No, no, no, he didn't steal.
No no no, I gave it to him, here here.
Here, go ahead.
- No, no, no steal.
- No, no, it's okay.
It's okay, here, here.
- No, no, no.
- That's okay, that's all right.
I gave it to him.
Wait, wait.
- No, no, no, senor.
- No, it's all right.
Go ahead.
All right, all right.
All right, working all the time.
Come on back, come on back.
All right, all right.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where you goin', all right?
Wanna come in, have a drink?
Come on inside?
What do you wanna do, get down and boogie?
All right, boogaloo.
Shake your thing?
What did you come here for?
How about a little, uh, pool?
A little pool?
How about a little,
uh, wah, wah, wah, wah?
All right, inside.
Take care of my man, in here you go.
YO, Yo, Yo, Yo, YO, YO, YO, YO!
Hey, man.
Have a good time in there?
Get back in there.
- Waas sappening?
- Waas sappening?
- Yeah, let's go, let's go.
Say, what's happenin', bro?
I'm gonna take a break.
- Yeah, come on in.
Yah, uh-huh.
Come on in, all right.
Give me five, yeah.
All right!
Come on in, watch your step there.
Get back over here.
Now go on in there and have a good time.
Listen, how much money
have I got now, man?
- You?
You made, uh, my God, you
made about $100 already.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, $129.
- Well, yeah, $129.
You're just raking it in, aren't ya?
- You don't miss a beat, do you?
- Not many.
- Why don't you just take
that on account, man?
I'll send you the rest
as soon as I get home.
- Rudy.
- Yeah?
- You crack me up.
- I'm glad I crack somebody up.
- Hey, Rudy, I'm gonna buy you a drink.
I'm gonna buy you a drink,
and I'm not even gonna
put it on the books.
How about that?
- Alert the media.
Hey.
Through the teeth, round the gums,
look out gullet, here it comes.
- I like it, I like it.
- Got a spot you need cleaning?
- Hey, what say you and me
go to a restaurant tonight?
I know this little place
that's got the best
criadilla in the world.
Have you ever had that?
- What's that?
- Criadilla?
Oh, it's bull ball, boy.
- Let's have a ball.
- Oh, it's great, it's great.
It eats better than it sounds, really.
You just gotta be careful,
you gotta spit the pits out.
- Oh, get out of here.
- What do you say?
- Yeah, whatever.
- All right.
- Is my credit good for another drink?
- Hell, yeah, why not?
But I, I'll pour it.
- Summertime Blues.
- Johnny B. Good?
- Summertime Blues.
- Orale, Summertime Blues!
- I think you should stick around.
- Summertime Blues.
- Summertime Blues?
- Simon.
- Done.
♪ Da da da da Da da da da ♪
♪ Well, I'm a gonna raise a fuss
I'm a-gonna raise a holler ♪
♪ Da da da da ♪
- Rudy, you're not bad.
♪ Workin' all summer just
to try to earn a dollar ♪
- Maybe I can manage this guy.
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ Well, I try to call my
baby I try to get a date ♪
♪ My boss said no dice,
son you gotta work late ♪
♪ Sometimes I wonder what I'm a gonna do ♪
♪ But there ain't no cure
for the summertime blues ♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
- All right, all right, very good.
See, you got it.
- Yeah.
- So, uh, I'm gonna
teach you the most famous
rock and roll song that
there is, okay it goes.
♪ Bat da-da dat dat ♪
♪ Dat dat dat dat dat da da dat ♪
♪ Well, shake it up, baby ♪
♪ Shake it up, baby ♪
♪ Twist and shout ♪
- La Bamba?
♪ Ba la bamba ♪
- It's Twist and Shout.
Twist and shout.
♪ Ba la bamba ♪
♪ You know you twist real good ♪
♪ Twist real good ♪
♪ You know you twist so fine ♪
♪ Twist so fine ♪
♪ Come on and twist a little closer ♪
♪ Twist a little closer ♪
♪ Come on and show me that you're mine ♪
♪ Show me you're mine ♪
♪ Let's stay here. ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Arrghh ♪
- All right, yeah!
See, the thing is that there's
a million guys out there,
and they all got guitars, you know?
Uh, look, uh.
Yeah, yeah.
And everybody has, okay.
So the thing is, you have
to do something different.
You know.
Yeah, right.
So, like, if we put rock
with this kind of music--
♪ Purple haze all around ♪
♪ Don't know if I'm comin up or down ♪
♪ Am I happy or in misery ♪
♪ Whatever it is that
girl put the spell on me ♪
♪ Purple haze was in my brain ♪
♪ Lately things just don't seem the same ♪
♪ Acting funny but I don't know why ♪
♪ Excuse me while I work these lights ♪
♪ Help me ♪
Hey, help me!
Help me!
All right, ooh, yeah!
Help me!
Yes, someone help me!
- Fa.
- Oh, ha!
- Oh thank you sir, thank you sir.
All right.
- So, where did you learn to speak German?
- Oh, hi.
You got another pail of
water back there someplace?
No.
- No, I don't know.
What are you doing here anyway?
- I work here.
- Oh, yeah?
I thought you worked at the pool hall.
What, they fire you?
- No.
I work here, I work there.
I work at another
restaurant on the weekends.
I work very hard.
- Oh, yeah, you must be
rolling in money then, huh?
- I have enough money to
buy you a beer, if you want.
- Oh, yeah, well, I want.
- Come on.
- She's gonna buy me a beer.
Hmm, how about that?
- So?
- So what?
- So how come you know
how to speak German?
- Because I used to live in Germany.
For six years I was stationed there.
- In the Army?
- In the Army, being all I could be,
except all they let me be was a mechanic.
So I was in the Army as a
mechanic for four years,
and I stayed a couple of
extra years and got married.
- You are married?
- Was married, was, was.
- What happened?
- Uh, didn't work out.
Well, it worked out once,
but I worked it back in.
- What?
- It's a chis-to?
You know, a joke.
Yeah, it was that too, it's a joke.
Um, listen, uh, what time you get off?
- In about 15-20 minutes, why?
- I'm working up to it, give me a chance.
I thought maybe if you
weren't doing anything, uh,
we could go out and have some dinner,
seeing as this is my last night in town.
- You are leaving?
- You gonna miss me?
So uh, what do you think?
Go out, have some dinner or something?
- I tell you what.
You can come over to my house,
and I will cook you dinner.
- Sure, yeah, that'd be great, yeah.
Uh, I could save me some
money and see your house.
- Good!
I, I live on the beach in Rosarito.
I will give you my address, and
you will have to take a bus.
- No, that's no problem.
Yeah, that'd be great.
- Is 7:30 okay?
Yeah, yeah, 7:30 is fine, I'll be there.
All right, great.
I'll be there.
- Okay.
- Thanks a lot.
Um, uh, what should I wear?
- Nothing.
- I can do that.
- I didn't mean nothing.
- I know what you meant, don't worry.
- Just for dinner, okay?
- 7:30, don't be late.
- Ciao.
- Whoa, hey, boy!
You done all right.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Oh, sure you don't wanna stick around?
We can make a lot of money together.
- Yeah.
- All right.
You come by here 7:00 tomorrow morning.
I'll take you there.
- Sounds good.
Be good, Jimmy, thanks a lot, man.
- All right.
- See you in the morning, man.
- See you.
- Nice place
you got here, man.
- Yeah, I call it home.
- See you tomorrow, Jim.
- Mmm-hmm.
♪ I'm in a slow south slow one ♪
♪ Got a date with an angel ♪
♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪
What, hey!
- Hola.
- You got $100 of Fee's money, ese.
- Now, my little cabron,
you better give us the money,
or you better give us something!
- I don't have no money, I don't have it!
- Give us the money, honey!
Stop it, hey!
- I don't know about your country,
but in my country,
if you make a date for a certain time,
then you show up at that time.
Since 7:30, I had dinner ready!
- You got any ice?
- Ice?
- Ice.
Uh, just something cold.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
I just, I got into a little
chingazo with some guys.
A fight, I got in a fight.
I don't know, they chased me,
and I got on the wrong bus
and I ended up five miles up
the road, I had to walk up.
I'm really sorry.
- Hey, hey
I'll get dinner, okay?
Just a moment.
Drink this one.
- You look really nice.
- Thank you.
I'll go get dinner.
I'm sorry I was mad at you.
It's just that,
I was really disappointed
when you didn't show up.
I mean, I don't have
very many friends here.
The first day I was here,
I had my purse stolen,
all my money, everything.
I thought I was going to
be here for a few days.
It has been almost five months now.
I just,
I just didn't want to come
to the United States with nothing.
You know what I mean?
I hope you like arroz con pollo.
- God damn it, son of a bitch.
Fat piece of...
That son of a bitch bandit,
he wanted 500 bucks!
500 bucks, Jesus!
Well, I covered it.
- You sure?
- No.
I mean, I'm out $150 here!
- I could send it to you from L.A., man.
- No, no.
I wanted to give you a going-away present.
I mean, what the hell, you know?
- Thanks a lot, Jimmy.
- It's only 150 bucks.
Yeah.
- I appreciate It, man.
- Well, uh, tada!
- All right, Rudy.
- See you later, Jimmy.
- I'm gonna miss you.
- I'm gonna miss you too, man.
Believe it or not, I had fun here.
- I liked having you around, you know?
You're kinda like...
Well, you're kind of like a pet.
All right, you take care.
- All right, man, you be good.
- 150 bucks!
- Uh, thanks for the dinner last night,
uh, almost.
I remembered, huh?
So, uh, you have my phone number, huh?
When you get to town,
you give me a call, okay?
Come on, come on.
Be good, die-so bunny, okay?
- Rudy!
- Um, well, call before you come.
Anytime.
- Here we go, L.A.
- Hey, so you're only down $150 bucks.
Come on, boy, you're gonna
make that up in no time.
I got lots of jobs for you.
Oh, come on, Rudy.
Hey, I'm still your manager, right?
Hey, Rudy, the car's back here.
Come on, I don't want to leave it here.
Rudy!
- Hell, Jake, I ain't seen a
single living soul all morning.
Must have been a fiesta last night.
They all overslept.
- Yeah.
- Uh, there's the first
customer of the day.
Smile pretty, old buddy.
You're on Candid Camera.
- Where is he?
- 12:00 o'clock.
- Ah, yeah, there he is.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna get me some 25.
- It'll be a few minutes
before he gets here.
I'm gonna take a whiz.
♪ Everywhere around the world ♪
- Pipe's clogged up this morning.
♪They're coming to America ♪
- Charge!
♪ Every time that flag's unfurled ♪
♪ They're coming to America ♪
- Son of a bitch Jake wake up!
♪ Got a dream to take them there ♪
- Holy shit!
- Go back!
- Mayday!
♪ They're coming to America ♪
♪ Got a dream they come to share ♪
♪ They're coming to America ♪
♪ They're coming to America ♪
- I've got a gun!
♪ They're coming to America ♪
- Get your ass in this truck!
- Shit!
♪ They're coming to America ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ Today ♪
- Well, here they come,
East L.A.'s own Roosevelt
High School marching band.
- What's happening?
- I forgot, it's the Cinco de Mayo parade.
- What's Cinco de Mayo?
- I don't know, but we have
a parade every year, come on.
- Oh, Simon.
- Waas sappening?
- Hey vato, waas sappening?
- What are you doing?
- You're looking good, man.
- Good.
- Suave.
- Go Raiders!
- Fernando Valenzuela!
♪ I was born in East L.A. ♪
♪ Man I was born in East LA. ♪
- Oh, yeah?
You were born in East LA.
Well, let's see your green card, huh?
- Green card?
♪ I'm from East LA. ♪
- Alright, well then,
who's president of the United States?
- Oh, that's easy man.
That guy that used to
be on Death Valley Days.
Uh, John Wayne.
- Alright, let's go, come on.
♪ Next thing I know
I'm in a foreign land ♪
♪ People talking so fast
I couldn't understand ♪
♪ There was nobody left
to lend a helping hand ♪
♪ I was cold it was dark
where is a burger stand ♪
♪ I want to go back to East LA. ♪
♪ I wish I was back in East LA. ♪
♪ I don't belong here in downtown T.J. ♪
♪ 'Cause I was born in East LA. ole ♪
♪ I crawled under barbed
wire swam across the stream ♪
♪ Rode in six different
trucks packed like a sardine ♪
♪ Walked all day in the burning sun ♪
♪ Now I know what it's
like to be born to run ♪
♪ Up ahead was the promised land ♪
♪ Shining like a star
just beyond my hand ♪
♪ All I could see was a golden door ♪
♪ I looked up, a sign
said five zillion sold ♪
♪ And I was back in East L.A. ♪
♪ Yes I was back in East LA. ♪
♪ You know I'm never gonna stray ♪
♪ 'Cause I was born in East LA. orale ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ I'm a low riding vato from East LA. ♪
♪ We are same ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Whoo hoo ho hoo ♪
♪ Born in East LA. orale ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ This ain't no Datsun it's
a Chevrolet cruise all day ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ What I say ♪
♪ Born in East LA. orale ♪
- Soto Street!
- We love it!
- Brooklyn Avenue!
- We love it!
- City of Terrace!
- Ahh...
- Whittier Boulevard!
- We love it!
♪ Orale ♪
- Wilshire?
I said, how to get to Wilshire?
What, am I lost or what?
♪ I'm a low-ridin' vato from El Mara way ♪
♪ I was born I was born in East LA. ♪
♪ What you say ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
- East LA.
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Don't delay ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Cruise all day ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ In East LA. ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Orale ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Man, I was born in East LA. ♪
- Good morning, L.A.
This is KRLA with Huggie
Boy request and dedications.
It's 7:45 a.m.,
and La Sad Girl just called
us on our dedication line.
She wants to dedicate a song
to all the homies stationed in Japan,
All the guys in the Service.
Okay, here it comes, Sad Girl, on KRLA.
- Rudy!
Rudy!
- Okay, okay, all
right, I'm up, I'm up.
- Come on, breakfast is ready.
Well, how do you like it?
- How do I like what?
- The picture.
- Oh, God.
- I already had Father Sanchez
from next door bless it.
- Yeah, it looks great, Mom,
but it's covering the phone here.
- Well, I'll move it later.
I just wanted to see how it looks.
- Okay.
- Ah, mi hijo, before I forget,
I rented the house across the street.
- Hmm, good.
- Here's some money.
Now, I want you to deposit
it in the bank on Monday.
Okay?
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- All right.
Hey, you kids.
I told you, don't ride
your bikes in the house.
- Robbie let me
out, Robbie let me out!
- You listen to your Uncle Rudy!
- Yeah, you listen to your uncle.
Maybe their hearing hasn't developed yet.
Is there anything else, I'd
like to eat my breakfast
before it grows green hair on it.
- As a matter of fact, there is.
- I had to ask.
- Oye, please, after work, go
pick up your cousin Javier.
- Who's Javier?
- He's your cousin, dummy.
- Can't you pick him up?
- Me?
I can't pick him up, we're leaving.
- Where you going?
- We're going to Fresno.
Don't you remember?
Chella, the kids and
I are going to Fresno.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, we're gonna be gone almost a week.
- The tub of water!
- Ah, okay, all right,
where do I gotta go?
- It's a toy factory on
South Anderson Street,
downtown Los Angeles.
And he doesn't even speak any English.
- Oh, great, Mom.
You know my Spanish isn't that good.
- Ay, mi hijo, don't worry
about it, you'll be just fine.
- Uh, one small detail, what
does this guy look like?
- His name is Javier Morales.
- Oh, rocket scientist, huh?
- Hmm, well, just ask for Javier Morales.
How many can there be?
- Probably only 50, it's
a slow day at the border.
- Ugh, thank you, mi
hijo, for going, bye-bye.
- I'm gonna go to work.
Good luck, Mom.
- Mom!
♪ Ah ♪
♪ ♪
- What it is, Rudy!
- Yo!
Oh...
Boom boom boom boom.
Hey, come on, move.
Get out of the way, ya dummy!
♪ Born ba da bom ♪
Hello, eye candy.
Hey, you give out fries with those shakes?
Oh, mama, looks like two puppies
fightin' under a blanket.
Hey, baby.
Ooh.
Hey, hey, look at me, over here!
Hey, mama!
Hey, look, I'm driving with no hands.
Hey, look, no hands.
You need a tour of the lake?
Come on, we'll go skinny-dipping.
Hey!
Hey, anybody seen a redheaded
girl in a green dress?
Whoo!
- Excuse me.
Any of you people seen a
redheaded girl in a green dress?
- Hi.
- Duh!
- Uh...
Uh, hi uh, can I help you?
- My car was supposed to
be ready over a week ago.
I have this black Peugeot.
- You have a Mack Peugeot?
- oui.
- Hey, I knew you weren't
a natural redhead.
Yeah, your car is ready.
I'm just putting the finishing
touches on it right now.
It's all ready to go.
- Hey, Rudy!
It's finished, man.
- Oh, be right there, man.
Listen, I'll be right with you.
Just let me take care of this dude, okay?
- Please, I'm in a very much hurry.
Is my car finished?
- Yeah, yeah, it's ready, I
put some extra speakers in.
And I have to show you how to use them.
- I did not authorize speakers.
- That's okay, I put
them in for free though.
- For free?
- Yeah, yeah, free.
But I have to show you how to use them.
Okay, I'll be right back, just
relax and have some matches.
Okay, I'll be right back.
- For free, eh?
- Hey.
- Here It Is, man.
- All right.
- New bridge, easy action.
- Easy action, that's me.
Easy action, man.
- That's right, man.
Pretty smooth, huh?
- Ooh, that's nice.
- Not bad.
- Not bad, man.
Not bad.
Hey, you straightened out the neck too.
- Yeah, straight as your hooter, man.
- All right.
- Hey, what are
you doing this weekend, man?
- Probably just sit home
and Wang Chung, man.
- Yeah?
Why don't you come to my house?
We'll drink some beer and play some tunes.
You provide the beer,
and I'll provide the
chicks and the TV, man.
- That sounds like a plan.
- All right.
Party, everybody, party!
I feel good, ow!
- All right.
- All right.
Well, give me a call.
- Thanks a lot, man, it looks great.
- Yeah, well, take care of it, man.
- Hey, I will, man, that's cherry terry.
- I'll see ya later.
- All right.
- Can you put this in back?
- Yeah, sure.
- Be careful with it.
I just got it fixed, man.
- Okay.
- Put it way in back there.
- You got it.
- If you are through having fun,
I would like to have my car!
- Oh, yeah, yeah, your car's ready.
Come on, you know what
was wrong with your car?
No.
- You had the woofers blown.
Have you ever had your
woofers blown before?
- I don't think so.
- Yeah, well, I did one time in Thailand.
Hoo, it makes your eyes spin, go ahead.
Step into your moving studio.
Get ready for the ultimate experience.
How's the sound?
- Fantastique.
- Have you ever seen this guy?
- No, I haven't.
- Javier Morales.
- This is a raid!
I.N.S.!
- Now, go, go, go, go!
Move it, move it!
- Come on, will you?
- Hey, stop it.
- Oh, no, not again.
I don't believe, hey, wait, wait a minute.
Where are you going with my people?
Wait, wait a minute now.
- Head over to that other bus.
- Listen, I got papers on
every one of these people.
- Yeah, well, we'll have to see 'em first.
- Just step up, wait a
minute, wait a minute!
- Move, move.
- Come on.
- Think we got 'em all?
- Yes, sir, we got 'em.
- Let's move 'em out.
- Help!
Help!
Help!
Get me out of here!
Ow, ow!
Get me down from here.
- Shut that thing off.
- Help, ow!
- Well, what we got here?
Looks like a bean in a beanbag.
- Huh?
- Where's your green card?
- I don't got a green card, man.
- Where were you born?
- What?
- Read my lips, el fago,
where were ya born?
- I was born in East L.A., man.
- You were born in East L.A., huh?
Then who's the president
of the United States?
- That cowboy guy on TV.
The guy who was on Death Valley Days.
Uh, John Wayne.
- Get him out of here.
- I'm an American citizen,
I demand to see my,
I'm not getting on the goddamn bus.
Get your hands off me!
- Off you go!
- You're wiping me out of business.
I got 15, 20 orders.
I gotta have help here, you know?
I don't know what else to do.
It ain't easy to dig up a hundred,
110, 15 guys.
- Leave every day.
- It ain't easy, you know.
This is a lot of bullshit.
You're gonna have to give me a break.
Oh, no.
Give me a, where are you,
why don't you send here?
This is bullshit, ya hear?
Look at this place.
It's like a goddamn morgue in here.
One hour ago, I had 110, 115 good people.
Well, they cleaned me out, those bastards.
That's the third time in six months.
El busto.
They took 'em all away.
Hasta la bye-bye.
It's a raid, you get it?
La Migra.
- Ah, la Migra.
- Exacta-mento, give this
man a rubber tortilla.
By the way, you think maybe
you got a hundred friends
ain't got nothin' to do tomorrow?
Okay, I'll tell ya what, pal.
I got a few phone calls to
make and then I gotta lock up.
You wanna wait outside here?
You wanna wait outside?
Outside-oh?
- Hey!
I'm an American!
I went to Belmont High, ya idiots!
Hey!
Let me out of here, I'm an American!
What are you looking at?
Yeah, who are you?
- Jose Negren.
Welcome to the back of the bus.
- Yeah, well, I won't be here long.
As soon as I get these fuckers
to stop, I'm out of here.
- Ooh, good luck.
These guys don't listen too good.
Maybe the shit they have in their head
is clogging up their ears.
- Well, what happens next?
- First, we take a nap.
When we wake up, we'll be at the border.
Then they take us off the bus.
Then we buy a beer and we figure out
how to be back by Monday.
- Shit.
- You sure you don't
have a hundred friends
that need a job?
Rudy.
- Hey, vato.
Hey, who are you looking for?
No, man, they went to Fresno, ese.
Fresno, they went to Fresno.
Okay, wait right there,
okay, I'll let you in.
Wait.
Hey, vato!
Hey, wanna buy some used lottery tickets?
Lottery, man.
Lot-ta-ria.
Man, I like you, here, you can keep 'em.
Go ahead.
- A gusto.
- Go ahead, man.
- There you go.
I ain't never seen.
I think Elgin Baylor was the only guy--
- Can I talk to you for a minute?
- Welcome to Mexico,
just keep on moving now.
You need to keep going.
- Since this is your first
time, I'm gonna buy you a beer.
- Hey, look, man, just show me
how to get back over to
the American side, huh?
I just wanna get out of
here, that's all I want.
- Okay.
You go all the way down
to the end of the street,
across the bridge, you can't miss it.
- All the way down,
then across the bridge?
- Thanks a lot.
- Okay, who's next here?
- Oh, right here.
It's good to talk to an American.
You'll never believe
what happened to me, man.
- You're probably right.
- First of all, I went down to
the factory to get my cousin.
You know, and I don't even
know what he looks like.
My mother says, 90 to the
factory and pick him up.
You know, I won't lie to you,
he's probably an illegal.
So anyways, I went to the
factory to look for him,
and he's not even there
and so I'm walking around
in the middle of the
factory, all of a sudden
there's a goddamn immigration raid.
The doors fly open and all
these guys come bustin' in.
And then they think that I'm an illegal,
and they grab me and throw me in the bus!
Hey, I want to make a complaint
about that officer right now, man.
This guy was not only
rude, he was degrading.
So anyway, they throw me in
the bus and they deport me.
They bring me down here, so here I am
and all I want to do is go home now, okay?
- Well, that's a real interesting story.
Now, would you mind repeating it
so somebody as slow as
I am can understand?
- Okay.
Okay.
I went down to pick up my cousin.
I don't even know my cousin.
I was walking around--
- Okay, okay.
Okay, let's start with your name.
What is your name?
- Rudy.
- Rudy?
- Rudy Robles.
Well, that's not my real name.
My whole name is.
Guadalupe, my first name.
Guadalupe Rudolfo Robles.
- Okay, Rudy, can you show me some I.D.?
- See, that's the problem,
I don't have any I.D.
I walked out of the
house without my wallet.
It's probably just sitting
there in the living room
right now, you could send
somebody home with me
and it's probably just there.
- I don't think that'll be necessary.
Guadalupe Rudolfo Robles, age 57.
Arrested three times in San Diego,
twice in Los Angeles,
three times in Santa Ana.
Once you made it all the
way up to San Francisco.
You sure like cities named after saints.
- What are you talking about?
- Returned to Mexico as an
illegal alien nine times.
I think we'll make that 10.
- What are you talking
about, 57, I'm not 57.
I don't care what your damn computer says.
- Then show me some I.D.
- I don't have any I.D.,
all I got in my pants
is my dick and 25 cents.
- Then you have enough
to make a phone call.
They can come down and
pick up their little boy.
Listen, amigo, I don't know where
you learned to speak English so well,
and I don't really care.
Now, if you want to make a phone call,
there's a phone booth
right outside the door.
In Mexico, where you belong, Rudy-doo
or Lupely-loo or whatever your name is.
- Hey look, I want to see
your superior officer.
Right now, I know my rights.
- Come and get this guy.
- Get over here, somebody!
I'm an American cm, get. your hands--
- Adios, amigo.
- Get your hands off!
What the hell, get your damn hands off me.
I'm an American citizen, you idiots!
The president of the United States
is Ronald Dickhead Reagan!
- Next.
- Hello?
- Hello, Operator?
- Mm-hmm.
- Operator,
I'd like to make a collect call
to 213-555-4052.
- 555-4050.
- 4052.
- Five, two.
- Yeah, I'll talk to anybody.
Shit.
- I have a
collect call for anyone.
Will you accept?
- Oh, shit, they're in Fresno, god!
- I'm sorry, sir,
your call can't be completed.
- Help, I've been
deported, I'm in Tijuana!
Javier, can you hear me?
Javier!
Operator!
- Senor.
- What, what?
- No, no.
- They have my quarter, they cut me off.
I've been deported, god, shut up!
Hello, hello, Operator, hello!
Guard!
Guard!
- Oye, big boy, hablas Español?
No.
- I like your shoes.
- Oh, thanks.
- I like your shirt too.
- Great.
- I really like your pants.
Why don't you take off your pants?
- Yeah, man, take off the pants.
- Uh, what are you guys in for?
- Good times.
- Guard!
Guard, guard!
Guard, guard!
Aagh!
- Hey, you want these guys
to stop fucking with you?
- Hey, get the guard!
- You don't need to call the guard.
I can make them stop.
- Well, make 'em stop, make 'em stop!
- Behind me, Satan, get behind me.
Go away.
Name's Feo.
May it please the Lord.
- Yeah, I'm glad to meet ya, Feo.
Thanks a lot.
- Oh, you don't have to thank me, brother.
You just have to pay me.
- What?
- The Lord's standard
fee for rescue is $200.
But for you, the Lord says
100, cash.
- A hundred bucks, get lost.
- Suit yourself, friend.
- Judge me, O Lord, for I
have walked in my innocence.
- Make 'em stop, make 'em stop!
- I'd like to help you,
but I'm busy getting lost.
- I don't have a hundred dollars.
- You could owe it to the Lord.
- What?
- You can owe it to the Lord.
- All right, I'll owe it to you.
- I don't want to force you
into doing something you don't wanna do.
- Who, who's forcing, I
wanna, I want to do it.
I owe you a hundred dollars!
- Get behind me, Satan, get behind me.
- Eh
- Let's do him together.
- With the Lord in an
everlasting covenant.
- Yeah, all right, all
right, what's the deal?
I mean, how am I supposed
to pay you when I'm in here
for I don't know what, I don't know when
I'm going to get out, I
don't have a hundred dollars.
- The Lord understands, my brother.
You pay off when you get out.
Or you work it off while you're in here.
- Out, you, out.
- Please.
- You can go now.
They can only hold you 24 hours
for beating up a telephone.
- I can go?
- You can go now.
- Don't forget, brother,
you owe us a hundred.
- Yeah, here's one of 'em, fuck you.
- The wrath of God will
follow you, heathen.
♪ Freak out ♪
- Hey, what do you mean,
you don't work here anymore?
- At Pepe's
bar, they pay me twice.
- Then why don't
you go work for Pepe?
- Oh, eat shit.
- Oh, yeah, eat this, eat this, sucker!
Goddamn it!
Son of a bitch, I hate this fucking place!
What are you looking at?
- Nothing.
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
- Do you speak English?
- Yeah.
- Well, that's great, that's
great, you want a job?
- A job?
- A job.
Yeah, boy, you want a job,
you know what a job is?
Do you want one?
- Doing what?
- Being the goddamn president
of the United States.
What do ya think?
- Ronald Reagan.
- Huh?
- Uh, uh, what do you want me to do?
- You just gotta stand out here
and get people to go in the bar.
Just get the people in
the bar, that's all.
- How do I do that?
- You just, you just get 'em!
Use your imagination, Jesus.
What the fuck am I talking about, man?
Do I have to do everything
for every goddamn person
in the whole fucking world?
Forget it!
- Wait, wait.
Can I get something to eat?
- Yeah, sure, sure, you see
that pool hall over there?
You go upstairs to that
pool hall in a couple hours.
You ask for me, I'm Jimmy, okay.
I'll get you anything you want
to eat, now what's your name?
- Rudy.
- Rudy, alright, Rudy.
Welcome aboard, welcome aboard.
Now look, here comes a
guy, now, go get him.
Go on, boy, get him, sic 'em!
Clean up this mess too.
♪ Freak out ♪
- Uh, wanna come in, come in the bar?
Uh, wanna come in?
- Don't touch me!
I'm an American citizen.
- Chuck you, Farley.
♪ Freak out ♪
- Easy, open up, Pepe.
You're not a very good teacher.
- Give me this, look.
- Two lessons.
- The bartender said to give you this.
- Huh, oh, hey, huh?
Hey, not bad for a couple hours of work.
Hey, you hungry, why
don't you sit down here.
Have something to eat,
come on, you hungry?
Hey, Miguel.
This time why don't you
try some English out there?
- Hey, try some Spanish.
- So you hungry, huh,
what do you want to eat?
- Whatever, man, I don't care.
- Well, you name it.
Uh, steak and a beer.
- Steak and beer, you got it.
Hey Dolores, yeah!
Yeah, man, you're gonna
like these tacos, boy.
They taste just like steak.
- Whatever.
- Hey, vato, where
you from anyways, huh?
- Uh, L.A.
- Nah, I mean, you know,
where were you born?
- L.A.
- Hey, you don't have
to worry about me, man.
I'm not the Migra.
- Hey, man, I was born in East L.A., okay?
- Okay, whatever you say.
Oh, hey, here's your tacos.
- Hey, asshole!
Hey, hey, watch the felt!
Hey hey, hey hey hey!
- Hello, baby.
- What?
- What's he saying, that's right.
Napkin, how do you say napkin?
- You say nap-kin.
- Oh, you speak English.
- Of course, don't you speak Spanish?
- Uh, well, not very well.
Uh, maybe you could teach me.
- I have to get back to work.
- What?
- Enjoy your food.
- Oh.
I'd rather dis-froot-ee you, baby,
but the food will have to do right now.
- So what the hell are you
doing in Tijuana anyways?
I mean, the job market
must be really bad in LA.
- It's a big mistake that I'm here.
- Yeah, me too.
- All I wanna do is get back home.
- Well, this is your lucky day.
You just happen to be talking to
the number one coyote
west of the Mississippi.
You just place your order,
I'll get you across the border.
- Yeah, let's go.
- Okay, finish your supper.
Now, since you're such
a good friend of mine,
I mean, since we go back such a long way,
I'm gonna let you take advantage
of the half-price sale
that's going on right now.
Now, normally, the fee is $500.
But for you, 400.
- Your half-price sale, huh?
- Three-fifty.
- How am I gonna get $350, man,
I don't got a cent to my name.
- Hey, you made some money
tonight, yeah, I mean,
in just a couple hours, you brought in,
you brought in 48 people.
10 cents a head, that's $4.20 right there.
I'm telling you, at this
rate, two weeks' time,
you're gonna have enough money.
I mean, if you work overtime.
- I can't stay here two
weeks, I gotta get home.
Oh, man.
Look, is there a phone
around here I can use?
- No, no phone.
Only phone I got's got a lock
on it, and I lost the key.
- How about a pay phone, is
there a pay phone around?
- Yeah, there's a pay
phone out in the alley.
- Can I borrow a quarter?
I'll mail you a check.
- All right.
It's comin' off your tab.
- All right, thanks a lot.
- And them tacos are 2.50.
They're normally three
bucks, but I like you.
- Hello?
- Operator, I'd like
to call area code 213,
number 555-4736, please.
- 213-555-4736.
Deposit 75 cents, sir.
- Pardon, how much?
- 75 cents for
the first minute, please.
- Okay, don't hang up, all right?
Okay, just wait a minute.
Mister, do you got 50 cents, please?
- Go on, get outta here.
- Give me 50 cents, or I'll
cut your fuckin' heart out!
- Sure, sure, here, just don't hurt me.
I love your people, take all you want.
- Thank you, mister.
Hello, Operator, are you still there?
Hello?
- Hello.
- Okay, all right, here it goes.
- Hello?
- Hello, Oscar, Oscar, this is Rudy.
Listen, I'm--
- Who?
Who is this?
- It's Rudy, man.
Listen, I'm in trouble.
I'm in Mexico.
- I can't hear you.
Let me turn the music down.
- Well, hurry up.
- There.
Now, who do you wanna speak to?
- Oscar, listen, this is Rudy, man,
I'm in Mexico, I've been deported.
I need you to go to my house, get my--
- Oh, you want Oscar.
Well, I'm not home now,
but you can leave a message
when you hear the beep, sucker!
- Shit.
Gah!
- I told ya we shouldn't
have stopped here for a beer.
I told ya, let's keep right
on driving to Los Angeles.
But no, you had to stop,
and I nearly got killed.
- Oh,
Harry, will you shut up?
Okay, okay, okay, we will
leave for LA. right now.
Does that make you feel better?
Oh, you wish, you wish.
You wanna unlock this door
so I can get my sweater?
- Alright, alright, alright.
- Hurry up, hurry up.
Hurry up.
- Do I need this?
- Yes!
- Do I want this?
- Oh fine.
My mother told me never to marry you.
I should have listened to
her in the first place.
Do you think you could turn
on the car and warm it up
a little bit--
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh fine, fine.
- That's what I plan to do
so we can drive away from here.
All right?
- Fine, drive.
- How does that sound?
- How long have you been in Mexico?
- Uh, about two weeks.
We've been camping up and down the coast.
Had a wonderful time, right, dear?
- Oh yes, Mexico is beautiful.
And the people are just
wonderful, we love them.
- Did you bring back
any fruits, vegetables,
or liquor of any kind?
- Oh, no, sir, we haven't,
nothing like that.
- Can I have your identification, sir?
Thank you.
- Get away from the car.
Get away from the car.
Fuck.
- Ho, jackpot!
- Bingo
- Whoa, hey, fuckin, we
got something here for ya.
Look at this.
Oh.
- Keep it coming, keep it coming.
- Fuck me?
No.
Fuck you.
Isaiah.
Chapter five, Verse 20,
woe to those that call the
evil good and the good evil.
Woe to those that call the darkness light
and the light darkness.
Woe to those--
- Oh, just cut the shit
and get me outta here!
- Oh, just cut the shit
and get you outta here.
Think I can snap my fingers
and the doors fly open?
- Well, can't you?
- Yeah.
- Look, get me out of here,
and I'll do whatever you want.
- Anything that I want?
Anything that I want.
Well, what do you think?
Do you think you can handle it?
- I hope this works the first time.
Five, four, three, two, one.
You were sitting on the needle.
Sorry about that.
Ah.
All right, let's, uh,
what, uh, where was this tattoo now?
- It's on my chest.
- Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah, that's a nice tattoo.
- No, it's a picture of my wife.
- A lovely lady.
She's a bitch.
She sent me a letter saying
she's going to divorce me.
- Oh.
- I want you to take it off.
- Take it off?
- Yeah.
- Uh, gah.
I can't take it off.
I mean, once they're on there,
they're on there for good.
Don't you still love her?
- She ran away with my brother.
- Oh.
Well, uh, at least she kept
it in the family.
Um.
I don't, maybe I could, uh,
I don't, change it, um, yeah.
I could, uh, I don't know, uh,
hey, what if we give her
a black eye right there?
And, uh, maybe, uh, black
out some of her teeth.
And break her nose.
I know, cut her throat.
No, no, I got it, I got it.
We'll draw a gun in here on this side,
and on that side, flying
brains out that side.
- Yeah!
- You love it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay, you wait right there.
I'll go get the stuff.
Okay, well, just relax, and,
um, think about your wife.
Okay, we're almost done.
All right, all right, I'm done.
Okay.
Let me just put a little
alcohol on that--
Sit still or it'll get infected.
All right, let's get some air on it there.
All right, uh, I'm gonna go, uh,
go outside and get a
breath of air for a minute.
You just relax, okay?
- Yeah.
- All right, don't move.
- Hello?
- Hey Jimmy.
Hey, uh,
can I talk to you a minute?
- Hey, East L.A.,
how you, hey, Dolores.
Boyfriend's back.
What happened to you, man?
I thought you got lost or something.
- Yeah, uh, I got hung up.
You remember the other day,
you said you could get
me across the border?
- Uh-huh.
- Can you still do it?
Um, I don't have the money on me now, man,
but I swear to God, as soon as I get home,
I'll send it to you.
- I'm not as dumb as you look.
I need the money.
- Hey well, I'll go home,
and I'll bring it right back to you.
Man, I'll just get In my car--
- Money.
- Look, I gotta get home.
♪ I need the money money ♪
♪ Money ♪
- I'm in trouble, man.
- Why don't you try the canyon?
You know how to run?
All right.
Here we go.
See those people down there?
- Yeah.
- Those are the polios.
Chickens.
Do you get it?
All right, now, all they wanna do,
they just wanna get to America.
- Join the club.
- All right, now, see
those trucks over there?
The green and white trucks?
- Yeah.
- Those are the bad guys.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Now here's what's gonna happen.
The polios are gonna run
down into the canyons.
The bad guys are gonna come in.
They're gonna chase them.
And they're gonna catch them.
But you see, they're not
gonna catch all of them.
Now, see those trucks over there?
Those are the coyotes.
If you can make it to those guys,
you can cut a deal with them,
they'll take you anywhere you wanna go,
even back to East LA.
Now, what you want to do...
Rudy?
- Okay, and you're here,
okay, and I'm here.
Okay, you guys, voom, voom, voom.
You guys, voom, voom, voom.
Choom, boom, he's out
of there, I'm home free.
Okay, ready?
- Orale!
- Hey, wetbacks!
- Down.
Ready?
Go!
Left, left!
- Every one of you is under arrest!
- Hey!
Got one!
- I'm an American citizen.
I was born in Los Angeles.
- You heard
about Michael Jordan?
- Who the hell is he?
- My parents were born in Los Angeles.
My grandparents were born in Los Angeles.
You're making a mistake.
I'm an American citizen.
I don't even speak Spanish.
Cabron!
Pasaports, green cards.
Cigars, cigarettes, candy.
Cigars, cigarettes.
- Hey, pasaporte.
- Passport?
Okay, you're now Iranian.
Your name is Achmed.
Welcome to America, Achmed.
- Gracias.
- Cigars, cigarettes, chiclets.
Candy, cigarettes.
- Green card?
- Green card.
Okay, you're now Fernando Valenzuela.
You had 21 wins last year.
All right.
- Hey, you!
I'm talking to you.
I need a beer.
Bring me some beer now.
How come you're not here with a beer yet?
I want a beer now!
Cerveza!
- Cerveza?
Tall boy.
- Sorry, sir,
both lines are busy.
- Okay, thanks.
Hello, Jimmy.
- Huh?
Oh, hey.
- Hey, listen, man.
You got another job for me?
I ran out of business.
- Uh, yeah.
You know, as a matter of fact, I do.
- Oh, good.
- Seeing as you're from East LA. and all.
Yeah, yeah.
I got something that's
right up your sidewalk.
Yeah.
Hey, those boys, you see
those boys out there?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Now, those boys, they
got jobs up in East LA.
As soon as they get there.
But the problem is, last
time they was up there,
they got popped,
'cause they don't speak
no English, you see.
Now, what I want you to do is
I want you to teach them to kinda,
you know, blend in and stuff.
- All they gotta do to blend in
in East LA. is look brown.
- Now you want this job or not?
The job pays, uh, it pays,
uh, 10, $10 a lesson.
Yeah.
I get, uh, I get four, you get six.
How's that sound?
- Why don't you just teach them yourself
and keep the whole thing?
- All right, I'll tell you what.
50/ 50, what do you say?
- Let's go before it changes again.
- All right.
Oh, yeah.
By the way, uh, these guys here,
they don't speak Spanish either.
No, these are O.T.M.'s here.
- O.T.M.'s?
- Yeah, well, the border patrol's
only got two classifications.
They got Mexican, and they
got Other Than Mexican.
- O.T.M-
- O.T.M., that's right.
You're catching on here.
Now, these boys here,
I think they're Chinese
or Indian or somethin'.
But don't worry about it,
it'll be a piece of cake.
All right, boys, listen up.
Now, this right here is your
new profesoro right there.
You listen to him, okay?
Good.
- Chinese Indians.
Time-out.
Okay.
What are you, playing blind man's bluff?
Here, take this off.
Here, like this.
You look like you're
gonna rob a 7-11, man.
This is not burglary.
What have you got, a toothache?
Take this off.
Okay stop, look.
This is the way you do it, okay?
Just roll it up.
There you go.
Now you put it on your head.
That's why they call it a head band.
Okay?
Headband.
See?
Now you got head band.
- Head band.
- Okay.
All right.
Now you wanna say something, okay?
So let's say you see a guy
walking down the street,
and you wanna say hi.
You go, orale, vato, waas sappening?
Again.
Orale, vato, waas sappening?
Yeah, hold on here, check this out.
All right, okay, watch this here.
Waa-S-S-A-P-P-E-N-I-N-G .
See?
Waas sappening?
You don't read English.
Waas sappening, see?
All right just 90, like, waas sappening?
- Wa happena!
- Haas.
- Waas sappening?
- Waas.
- Sappeni--
- Sappeni--
- Waas sappening, yeah.
- Waas sappening?
Waas sappening?
- Yes, that's it, you got it!
- Waas sappening?
- Waas sappening?
All right!
All you gotta do to have attitude
is just lower your headband.
That's it, like this, man, okay?
In the bad position.
See?
- Bad, bad.
- Now, just lean your head back like this.
Like you're listening to some hip music
that only you can hear, all right, man?
Digging it, all right?
Take this hand and put it in here.
Like you're playing pocket
pool or somethin', man.
All right, okay.
Now, this hand, you go back here,
like you just cut one and you
wanna shoo away the smell.
It goes like that, let's try it, man.
Cruise, man.
Orale, vato, waas sappening?
- Orale, vato, waas sappening?
- Get down, mama!
- Get down!
Mama.
- I say, waas sappening?
- I say, waas sappening?
- All right, here we go.
- Happen happen!
Happening!
- Waas sappening?
Waas sappening?
- Waas sappening?
- All right, try this one.
I say gaucho.
- Hey, gaucho.
- Hey Simon, Limon?
- Waas sappening?
- All right.
- Waas sappening?
Suave.
- Shake and then shake.
Shake and that.
And then him.
- Bim.
- Bim.
- Bim.
- Ayah!
- Waas sappening, mama?
- Ooh, mama.
- All right.
- Waas sappening?
Waas sappening, waas sappening?
- Hey, bitchin', mama.
Totally rad, whoo, bitchin'.
Yeah, whoo!
Hey, get back here.
Hey, relax.
Relax, man.
This little tattoo's gonna
make you blend right in.
Pretty soon they won't be able
to tell you from the natives.
Next thing you know, you got
a job, make a little money,
Get a little place, get a credit card.
Start making payments on a
Toyota, just like an American.
- Is that all it takes to be an American,
is to buy useless things?
- You think having a car
in LA. is useless things?
Try to get around in
LA. without a car, man,
you end up with feet look
like Donald Duck, honey.
So, uh, where you from anyways?
- El Salvador.
- Oh, yeah?
I know some girls from El Salvador,
except they're all disco bunnies.
- What is die-so bunnies?
- Disco bunnies.
It's, uh, you know, girls
that hang around discos.
You know, you buy 'em a
drink, you dance with them.
You end up driving them all
over LA. in your useless car.
- Disco bunnies.
- Yeah, that's it.
You got it.
Hey, hey, I was just teasing you.
Women.
- Waas sappening?
- Hello, mi'jo.
Are you there?
What are you doing?
Are you being good?
Javier?
Are you there?
Javier?
- Is sin making you lonely?
You ask yourself, is
sin making you lonely?
- Hey, uh, Jimmy.
- Huh?
- Hey, man.
Hey listen, you got any
other jobs I could do, man?
I need to make some money
a little bit quicker.
- Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do.
- Oh good.
- If you don't mind being naked.
Nah, I'm just kiddin' ya.
I got a job, follow me.
- Hey, uh, so listen, what are you doing
down here in T.J. anyways, man?
- Oh, you know.
- No.
- Well, you know, it's kinda
like in them cowboy movies,
you know, when the two
guys are on horseback,
and they're riding across the plains,
and the posse is chasing them, you know?
- Yeah.
- One guy says to the other guy,
if we can just make it
to the Mexican border,
then we can make it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- All right, here it is.
Don't take no wooden pesos.
- Gotta have 'em, gotta
have 'em, gotta have 'em.
Hey, yo!
YO! YO, YO, YO, YO, YO!
Gotta have 'em, oranges!
Yo, yo yo!
Come on, get your oranges.
Here you go, fresh oranges.
Right here.
Come on.
Yeah, well, hope you die of scurvy.
- No steal, no steal.
- Oh.
No, no, no, he didn't steal.
No no no, I gave it to him, here here.
Here, go ahead.
- No, no, no steal.
- No, no, it's okay.
It's okay, here, here.
- No, no, no.
- That's okay, that's all right.
I gave it to him.
Wait, wait.
- No, no, no, senor.
- No, it's all right.
Go ahead.
All right, all right.
All right, working all the time.
Come on back, come on back.
All right, all right.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where you goin', all right?
Wanna come in, have a drink?
Come on inside?
What do you wanna do, get down and boogie?
All right, boogaloo.
Shake your thing?
What did you come here for?
How about a little, uh, pool?
A little pool?
How about a little,
uh, wah, wah, wah, wah?
All right, inside.
Take care of my man, in here you go.
YO, Yo, Yo, Yo, YO, YO, YO, YO!
Hey, man.
Have a good time in there?
Get back in there.
- Waas sappening?
- Waas sappening?
- Yeah, let's go, let's go.
Say, what's happenin', bro?
I'm gonna take a break.
- Yeah, come on in.
Yah, uh-huh.
Come on in, all right.
Give me five, yeah.
All right!
Come on in, watch your step there.
Get back over here.
Now go on in there and have a good time.
Listen, how much money
have I got now, man?
- You?
You made, uh, my God, you
made about $100 already.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, $129.
- Well, yeah, $129.
You're just raking it in, aren't ya?
- You don't miss a beat, do you?
- Not many.
- Why don't you just take
that on account, man?
I'll send you the rest
as soon as I get home.
- Rudy.
- Yeah?
- You crack me up.
- I'm glad I crack somebody up.
- Hey, Rudy, I'm gonna buy you a drink.
I'm gonna buy you a drink,
and I'm not even gonna
put it on the books.
How about that?
- Alert the media.
Hey.
Through the teeth, round the gums,
look out gullet, here it comes.
- I like it, I like it.
- Got a spot you need cleaning?
- Hey, what say you and me
go to a restaurant tonight?
I know this little place
that's got the best
criadilla in the world.
Have you ever had that?
- What's that?
- Criadilla?
Oh, it's bull ball, boy.
- Let's have a ball.
- Oh, it's great, it's great.
It eats better than it sounds, really.
You just gotta be careful,
you gotta spit the pits out.
- Oh, get out of here.
- What do you say?
- Yeah, whatever.
- All right.
- Is my credit good for another drink?
- Hell, yeah, why not?
But I, I'll pour it.
- Summertime Blues.
- Johnny B. Good?
- Summertime Blues.
- Orale, Summertime Blues!
- I think you should stick around.
- Summertime Blues.
- Summertime Blues?
- Simon.
- Done.
♪ Da da da da Da da da da ♪
♪ Well, I'm a gonna raise a fuss
I'm a-gonna raise a holler ♪
♪ Da da da da ♪
- Rudy, you're not bad.
♪ Workin' all summer just
to try to earn a dollar ♪
- Maybe I can manage this guy.
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ Well, I try to call my
baby I try to get a date ♪
♪ My boss said no dice,
son you gotta work late ♪
♪ Sometimes I wonder what I'm a gonna do ♪
♪ But there ain't no cure
for the summertime blues ♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
- All right, all right, very good.
See, you got it.
- Yeah.
- So, uh, I'm gonna
teach you the most famous
rock and roll song that
there is, okay it goes.
♪ Bat da-da dat dat ♪
♪ Dat dat dat dat dat da da dat ♪
♪ Well, shake it up, baby ♪
♪ Shake it up, baby ♪
♪ Twist and shout ♪
- La Bamba?
♪ Ba la bamba ♪
- It's Twist and Shout.
Twist and shout.
♪ Ba la bamba ♪
♪ You know you twist real good ♪
♪ Twist real good ♪
♪ You know you twist so fine ♪
♪ Twist so fine ♪
♪ Come on and twist a little closer ♪
♪ Twist a little closer ♪
♪ Come on and show me that you're mine ♪
♪ Show me you're mine ♪
♪ Let's stay here. ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Arrghh ♪
- All right, yeah!
See, the thing is that there's
a million guys out there,
and they all got guitars, you know?
Uh, look, uh.
Yeah, yeah.
And everybody has, okay.
So the thing is, you have
to do something different.
You know.
Yeah, right.
So, like, if we put rock
with this kind of music--
♪ Purple haze all around ♪
♪ Don't know if I'm comin up or down ♪
♪ Am I happy or in misery ♪
♪ Whatever it is that
girl put the spell on me ♪
♪ Purple haze was in my brain ♪
♪ Lately things just don't seem the same ♪
♪ Acting funny but I don't know why ♪
♪ Excuse me while I work these lights ♪
♪ Help me ♪
Hey, help me!
Help me!
All right, ooh, yeah!
Help me!
Yes, someone help me!
- Fa.
- Oh, ha!
- Oh thank you sir, thank you sir.
All right.
- So, where did you learn to speak German?
- Oh, hi.
You got another pail of
water back there someplace?
No.
- No, I don't know.
What are you doing here anyway?
- I work here.
- Oh, yeah?
I thought you worked at the pool hall.
What, they fire you?
- No.
I work here, I work there.
I work at another
restaurant on the weekends.
I work very hard.
- Oh, yeah, you must be
rolling in money then, huh?
- I have enough money to
buy you a beer, if you want.
- Oh, yeah, well, I want.
- Come on.
- She's gonna buy me a beer.
Hmm, how about that?
- So?
- So what?
- So how come you know
how to speak German?
- Because I used to live in Germany.
For six years I was stationed there.
- In the Army?
- In the Army, being all I could be,
except all they let me be was a mechanic.
So I was in the Army as a
mechanic for four years,
and I stayed a couple of
extra years and got married.
- You are married?
- Was married, was, was.
- What happened?
- Uh, didn't work out.
Well, it worked out once,
but I worked it back in.
- What?
- It's a chis-to?
You know, a joke.
Yeah, it was that too, it's a joke.
Um, listen, uh, what time you get off?
- In about 15-20 minutes, why?
- I'm working up to it, give me a chance.
I thought maybe if you
weren't doing anything, uh,
we could go out and have some dinner,
seeing as this is my last night in town.
- You are leaving?
- You gonna miss me?
So uh, what do you think?
Go out, have some dinner or something?
- I tell you what.
You can come over to my house,
and I will cook you dinner.
- Sure, yeah, that'd be great, yeah.
Uh, I could save me some
money and see your house.
- Good!
I, I live on the beach in Rosarito.
I will give you my address, and
you will have to take a bus.
- No, that's no problem.
Yeah, that'd be great.
- Is 7:30 okay?
Yeah, yeah, 7:30 is fine, I'll be there.
All right, great.
I'll be there.
- Okay.
- Thanks a lot.
Um, uh, what should I wear?
- Nothing.
- I can do that.
- I didn't mean nothing.
- I know what you meant, don't worry.
- Just for dinner, okay?
- 7:30, don't be late.
- Ciao.
- Whoa, hey, boy!
You done all right.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Oh, sure you don't wanna stick around?
We can make a lot of money together.
- Yeah.
- All right.
You come by here 7:00 tomorrow morning.
I'll take you there.
- Sounds good.
Be good, Jimmy, thanks a lot, man.
- All right.
- See you in the morning, man.
- See you.
- Nice place
you got here, man.
- Yeah, I call it home.
- See you tomorrow, Jim.
- Mmm-hmm.
♪ I'm in a slow south slow one ♪
♪ Got a date with an angel ♪
♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪
What, hey!
- Hola.
- You got $100 of Fee's money, ese.
- Now, my little cabron,
you better give us the money,
or you better give us something!
- I don't have no money, I don't have it!
- Give us the money, honey!
Stop it, hey!
- I don't know about your country,
but in my country,
if you make a date for a certain time,
then you show up at that time.
Since 7:30, I had dinner ready!
- You got any ice?
- Ice?
- Ice.
Uh, just something cold.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
I just, I got into a little
chingazo with some guys.
A fight, I got in a fight.
I don't know, they chased me,
and I got on the wrong bus
and I ended up five miles up
the road, I had to walk up.
I'm really sorry.
- Hey, hey
I'll get dinner, okay?
Just a moment.
Drink this one.
- You look really nice.
- Thank you.
I'll go get dinner.
I'm sorry I was mad at you.
It's just that,
I was really disappointed
when you didn't show up.
I mean, I don't have
very many friends here.
The first day I was here,
I had my purse stolen,
all my money, everything.
I thought I was going to
be here for a few days.
It has been almost five months now.
I just,
I just didn't want to come
to the United States with nothing.
You know what I mean?
I hope you like arroz con pollo.
- God damn it, son of a bitch.
Fat piece of...
That son of a bitch bandit,
he wanted 500 bucks!
500 bucks, Jesus!
Well, I covered it.
- You sure?
- No.
I mean, I'm out $150 here!
- I could send it to you from L.A., man.
- No, no.
I wanted to give you a going-away present.
I mean, what the hell, you know?
- Thanks a lot, Jimmy.
- It's only 150 bucks.
Yeah.
- I appreciate It, man.
- Well, uh, tada!
- All right, Rudy.
- See you later, Jimmy.
- I'm gonna miss you.
- I'm gonna miss you too, man.
Believe it or not, I had fun here.
- I liked having you around, you know?
You're kinda like...
Well, you're kind of like a pet.
All right, you take care.
- All right, man, you be good.
- 150 bucks!
- Uh, thanks for the dinner last night,
uh, almost.
I remembered, huh?
So, uh, you have my phone number, huh?
When you get to town,
you give me a call, okay?
Come on, come on.
Be good, die-so bunny, okay?
- Rudy!
- Um, well, call before you come.
Anytime.
- Here we go, L.A.
- Hey, so you're only down $150 bucks.
Come on, boy, you're gonna
make that up in no time.
I got lots of jobs for you.
Oh, come on, Rudy.
Hey, I'm still your manager, right?
Hey, Rudy, the car's back here.
Come on, I don't want to leave it here.
Rudy!
- Hell, Jake, I ain't seen a
single living soul all morning.
Must have been a fiesta last night.
They all overslept.
- Yeah.
- Uh, there's the first
customer of the day.
Smile pretty, old buddy.
You're on Candid Camera.
- Where is he?
- 12:00 o'clock.
- Ah, yeah, there he is.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna get me some 25.
- It'll be a few minutes
before he gets here.
I'm gonna take a whiz.
♪ Everywhere around the world ♪
- Pipe's clogged up this morning.
♪They're coming to America ♪
- Charge!
♪ Every time that flag's unfurled ♪
♪ They're coming to America ♪
- Son of a bitch Jake wake up!
♪ Got a dream to take them there ♪
- Holy shit!
- Go back!
- Mayday!
♪ They're coming to America ♪
♪ Got a dream they come to share ♪
♪ They're coming to America ♪
♪ They're coming to America ♪
- I've got a gun!
♪ They're coming to America ♪
- Get your ass in this truck!
- Shit!
♪ They're coming to America ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ Today ♪
- Well, here they come,
East L.A.'s own Roosevelt
High School marching band.
- What's happening?
- I forgot, it's the Cinco de Mayo parade.
- What's Cinco de Mayo?
- I don't know, but we have
a parade every year, come on.
- Oh, Simon.
- Waas sappening?
- Hey vato, waas sappening?
- What are you doing?
- You're looking good, man.
- Good.
- Suave.
- Go Raiders!
- Fernando Valenzuela!
♪ I was born in East L.A. ♪
♪ Man I was born in East LA. ♪
- Oh, yeah?
You were born in East LA.
Well, let's see your green card, huh?
- Green card?
♪ I'm from East LA. ♪
- Alright, well then,
who's president of the United States?
- Oh, that's easy man.
That guy that used to
be on Death Valley Days.
Uh, John Wayne.
- Alright, let's go, come on.
♪ Next thing I know
I'm in a foreign land ♪
♪ People talking so fast
I couldn't understand ♪
♪ There was nobody left
to lend a helping hand ♪
♪ I was cold it was dark
where is a burger stand ♪
♪ I want to go back to East LA. ♪
♪ I wish I was back in East LA. ♪
♪ I don't belong here in downtown T.J. ♪
♪ 'Cause I was born in East LA. ole ♪
♪ I crawled under barbed
wire swam across the stream ♪
♪ Rode in six different
trucks packed like a sardine ♪
♪ Walked all day in the burning sun ♪
♪ Now I know what it's
like to be born to run ♪
♪ Up ahead was the promised land ♪
♪ Shining like a star
just beyond my hand ♪
♪ All I could see was a golden door ♪
♪ I looked up, a sign
said five zillion sold ♪
♪ And I was back in East L.A. ♪
♪ Yes I was back in East LA. ♪
♪ You know I'm never gonna stray ♪
♪ 'Cause I was born in East LA. orale ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ I'm a low riding vato from East LA. ♪
♪ We are same ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Whoo hoo ho hoo ♪
♪ Born in East LA. orale ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ This ain't no Datsun it's
a Chevrolet cruise all day ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ What I say ♪
♪ Born in East LA. orale ♪
- Soto Street!
- We love it!
- Brooklyn Avenue!
- We love it!
- City of Terrace!
- Ahh...
- Whittier Boulevard!
- We love it!
♪ Orale ♪
- Wilshire?
I said, how to get to Wilshire?
What, am I lost or what?
♪ I'm a low-ridin' vato from El Mara way ♪
♪ I was born I was born in East LA. ♪
♪ What you say ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
- East LA.
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Don't delay ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Cruise all day ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ In East LA. ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪
♪ Orale ♪
♪ Born in East LA. ♪