Bonjour Monsieur Shlomi (2003) - full transcript

Tehilla?

Do you love me?

What kind of question is that?

You know I do.

Then why do you keep
looking around?

I have a test.
I'm nervous, OK?

Why did you ask me to go out with you
if you want to keep it a secret?

Some things should be kept secret.
-It's been a month.

I'm not telling.
-Why not?

My mom will kill me.

She didn't kill you when you
were with Amir. Everyone knew.



Amir's a different story.
-Why, Tehilla?

Because I'm a bad student
and all that?

Are you ashamed of me?

What do you want, Shlomi?

To upgrade our relationship.

To what?

To upgrade.

To screw?
-That's not what I said.

But it's what you meant,
isn't it, Shlomi?

I thought you were different.
He wants an upgrade!

I'm freezing our relationship.
You want an upgrade?

Well I'm freezing it,
until further notice.

"I think, therefore I am"
"10th grade art project"

Stop looking at me.



Shlomi the geek
is looking at me.

Don't look at her.
Concentrate on your test.

Who shushed me?

Did you shush me?
You'd better watch it,

I may be new,
but I can kick ass.

No one shushes me.
-Just so you know, he's still looking at me!

Don't forget to write down
all the steps,

not just the final answer,
no slacking off.

I shall come to your door

With ashen lips

I shall drop my hands to you

I shall tell you

all the good words

That are still,
are still here...

Hi.
-Hi.

Are you playing games with me?
-Why not?

Goodbye.

Sorry.
-Sorry.

Are you...?
-Are you...?

What?

You go first.

Are you Moti's girlfriend?

Sort of.

You're Doron's brother.
-Yeah.

You don't look alike.

I know.

You're better looking than him.
-Me? -More modest too.

Watch out on those turns.
-OK.

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour Monsieur Shalom.
How are you?

What's with the phone, Grandpa?

Begin called.
-Who?

Begin was looking for you.

You're dreaming again, Grandpa.

Don't tell me I'm dreaming,
I've dreamt enough in my life.

OK, you get undressed in the bathroom
I'll fix something to eat.

Let's give you a bath
so you don't stink.

Don't tell me I stink,
I stunk enough in my life.

Prime Minister Begin is
a real man. -But he's dead.

When?
-A long time ago, Grandpa.

Never mind,
there'll be others.

Don't you laugh at me.

"I was laughed at
enough in my life..."

What's your name anyway...?

"Doron's diary, top secret"

"Osnat lay beside me, recovering
from the amazing orgasm

"I gave her in the upgraded
position I invented.

"I looked aside and saw Moti
and his new chick, Rona... "

Rona.

"...stil doing some wild 69 action.

"It really turned me on.

"Osnat put a new condom
on my erect penis

"I penetrated her
and she screamed because

"I must have torn apart
her appendix..."

Bonjour, monsieur.

What are you doing in my room?

Nothing. Airing it out.

Did you talk to Tehilla?

Did you tell her
what I told you to?

Me and Menachem Begin
were like this.

What did she say?
-In the trenches in Turkey,

the bullets were whistling
above us.

She froze our relationship.
-Froze?

So he said: Monsieur Bardayan,
don't worry. -Don't worry,

she'll come back on all fours.
-On all fours? What is she, a cat?

You cover me and I'll cover you.
-Fine,

if you don't wanna learn from
your big brother, no problem.

Stay a virgin.

When we ran out of grenades,
I gathered some ticks in a bag

and threw some on them.
-What's he talking about?

They were scratching so much,
they couldn't even shoot.

What are you talking about?

That's how I saved Begin.
-Yeah? When?

In Turkey, when the Japanese
came in with tanks.

Enough, Grandpa, eat.

Rona says hi.

How do you know Rona?

I met her today.

I think she lives next door.
-Did she say anything about me?

Yeah.

What?

Nothing important.

Tell me what she said.

She asked if we're brothers
and said we didn't look alike,

that I'm better looking
or something.

What's so funny?

You may be better looking,
but I have a huge dick.

You baby.
-Wanna check? -No.

Why not? Scared?
Go get a ruler.

You do the dishes,
I have homework.

What?

Shlomi has my genes, you have
your father's. -So what?

So Shlomi has a big ding-dong
and you have a small one,

it's genetics.
I know, I've seen you both.

"Write an essay on the meaning of
the story of David and Goliath."

"Arrogance pays off."

Need help with your homework?
Want me to write it for you?

No thanks, I finished.

"Stars Outside"

"I shall wait for you,
like your shoes..."

Why?
-I told you to use earphones.

You're ruining my amplifier.
-Did you bring me the envelopes?

No.
-Why not?

I forgot.
-What, it doesn't matter that I asked you?

So take some from the hospital.

They have a logo on them.
-Then buy some.

I bust my ass to keep this house
going, you could help a little.

I'm in an army entertainment
group, there are no envelopes.

No one raises their voice
at me in my house, get it?

It's my house too.

Go to your father, that rotten bastard.
You can both be rotten together!

You go, I'm not your
envelope-stealing sucker.

Stop it, Mom.

He nearly chopped off
my finger,

how can I go to work
with a chopped-off finger?

This is my door, you hear?

Don't be angry,
he had a rough day.

I don't exactly
piss around all day.

Did you have the geography test
today? -Math.

Did you do good?

No.

Never mind.
-They'll end up kicking me out.

Oh no they won't. I'll make
a scene they'll never forget.

You were such a wiz kid
when you were little,

I'd ask you four times four
and you'd know the answer.

The minute you started school,
you turned into a dummy.

Mom, cut it out.

Just finish high school,
so you'll be like everyone else.

Go to the army,
work at a restaurant

and one day you'll have your own.

You don't have to be
a genius to be a cook.

Look at what's-his-name on TV,
that cook...

Tell her I'm going with Moti
to Rona's. -Who's Rona?

Moti's girlfriend.
She lives next door, she's new in the area.

We're forming a trio
we may even live together.

Tell him that for all I care he can go
and never come back.

Here we go again...

Tell her I'm not asking her.
-He said he's not asking you.

Tell him he's a hotheaded
Moroccan Jew, like his father.

Tell her to piss off!

Did he take his pills?

Good.

What did you put in here?
-Tahini.

It's good.

"Bardayan Family"

Dad, what are you doing here?
-Tell her I'm dying.

OK, but go home now.
-Who are you whispering to?

Tell her I'm dying.

Tell him if he doesn't beat it,
I'm calling the police.

I feel sick.
I was at the doctor's.

He can drop dead.

I won't come to his funeral,
even if he sends me a limo.

How can I send one if I'm dead?

The guy's dead and she
wants me to send a limo.

Where's your heart, Ruhama?
-I'm calling the police.

She's calling the police.
You'd better go.

Don't worry, she's all talk.
Give this to her.

She'll burn it.
-I don't care. I'm your father,

I have to look after you
and my father.

How is he? OK? And why didn't
you come see me today?

I'll come tomorrow.

By then you may find me dead,
like a dog, alone.

Take this.

What did you cook today?
Gimme some.

Don't be mean to your sick dad.
-You're not sick.

OK, but don't you dare
come inside.

Did you call the police?
-The line was busy.

Good. -Throw away
the money he gave you.

OK.

Wanna hear what he said?

Couldn't care less. He and that
bimbo of his are both dead to me.

He bleached his hair.

He what?

I thought you
couldn't care less.

I pray for you to be mine

Only so that
I could forget you...

Why didn't you come
to the party yesterday?

We had an orgy...
There was loads of upgrading going on...

And why don't you come
to the Scouts' meetings?

I don't have time.

Then how exactly do you plan
on being my boyfriend?

Begin was looking for you.
-What Begin?

Begin, the new math teacher.
He wants to see you, urgent.

His name is Begin?
I thought it was Yaish.

Yaish is his last name,
Begin is his first name.

If they wanna kick you out,

tell them I'll help you
improve your grades, OK?

Shlomi, I'm glad you came.
We have to go see the principal.

Why, what did I do?
-Relax, you didn't do anything.

I was looking for you yesterday, I spoke
with your dad on the phone.

That was my grandpa, my dad's dad.
My dad doesn't live at home.

Your dad doesn't live at home
but his father does? -Yeah.

Did you ask Shlomi if you could?
-Get off my case, Grandpa.

Go back to your window.

He takes money from Shlomi
without asking.

So what?
He'll pay him back.

He never pays him back, I do.

Then everything's alright,
right?

Shlomi's your son too,
not only Doron.

Do me a favor and butt out.

You discriminate between them.
All that talk about his kidneys,

he's been healthy
for 5 years now.

Enough with your excuses,
Ruhama. -Bardayan,

I have a double-shift today,
so don't bug me, I'm warning you.

What'll you do? Throw me out
like you did to Robert?

Don't forget,
this is my house.

You may be my daughter-in-law
and I love you like a daughter,

but there's a limit
to every limit. -What?

There's a limit to every limit.
-What does that mean?

That there's a limit
to every limit. -Stop it!

Don't yell at me. I was
yelled at enough in my life.

Sorry.

I'm still mad at you.
-I know, I'm sorry.

Was it too much to ask for?
-I'll bring you some today.

Is this enough?

Don't take a penny
from your father.

Shlomi Bardayan, do you
know why I asked you here?

You're kicking me out of school?
-Why do you say that?

They say that since you're new,
you're kicking out all the rejects.

Is there any reason
I should kick you out?

I'm flunking out.

Can you tell me what this is?

I swear I didn't cheat.
-I know, you'd have handed it in

if you cheated, but your teacher
says you didn't, right?

So relax,
nobody's going to kill you.

My mom's gonna kill me.
-Why?

If you kick me out.

No one's kicking you out, Shlomi.
Relax.

So what's this piece
of paper all about?

It's just scrap.
-Why didn't you write the answers?

I didn't know them.

But all the answers are correct,
why didn't you write them down?

Sshh, Begin.
Take it easy.

Shlomi, I'm willing to
let you take the test over.

Begin will ask you a question
and you answer it, OK? -Now?

Why not?
-I won't do well. -Why?

It takes me too long to write
the steps and I don't know them.

Forget the steps,
just give me the answer.

But you always ask
for the steps.

We'll overlook them this time,
won't we, Begin?

No steps?

No steps.

X equals 1.5 and Y equals 5.

Is that right?

Very good.

But that was an easy question.

I want to ask you
a few questions,

but answer straight away, OK?

How much is 83 times 37?

3071.

How much is 1466 times 724?

1,061,384.

Divided by four?

265,346.

Mind if I smoke?

Me? Of course not,
my dad smokes too.

How do you do it, Shlomi?

Do what?

You aren't kicking me out?

This is what we'll do.

Before I decide, I'll ask you
a few more questions,

so go back to class
and come see me after school, OK?

I can't. My mom's coming back late from the hospital and
I have to take care of my grandpa and cook.

Then come first thing tomorrow
morning, instead of first period.

I have Bible with Tzvia...

I'll talk to her, OK?

Let's keep this a secret.

OK, Shlomi?

Otherwise I'll regret
giving you this opportunity.

"Lt. Colonel Cohen,
a father to us soldiers"

"I think, therefore I am"

Are they kicking you out?

I don't know.

Tehilla?

When will you defrost
the freeze?

Let's see if they kick you out,
then I'll think about it,

but don't tell anyone, or else the
freeze will go on forever, got it?

Are they sleeping?

Everything OK?

Shlomi, you gotta talk to
your sister, I'm going nuts.

What's wrong now?

No radio, no TV, she even
took the phone off the hook.

I have a stiff back from
sleeping on the sofa.

Why are you on the sofa?

My snoring wakes them up...
Have you ever heard of anything like that?

She lets me use the Internet,
but only with the mouse

'cause the keyboard
makes noise.

See?

I'm going to work.

Why don't you let him sleep
next to you? -He'll wake the boys.

But Ziva, they can't sleep all day.
-They have to grow.

Want me to babysit today?

What for?

Go out, have fun.

What for?

Did you make up with Mom?

Why don't you go to sleep?

I can't, as soon as
I fall asleep, they wake up.

I know him well, I was friends
with his mother, Ruhama.

Robert, Shlomi's father, cheated
on her with her best friend,

so she threw him out and cut off
ties with all her friends,

so we're not in touch.

What about Shlomi?
-What about him?

What do you have
to say about him?

Shlomi? You want to know
how he is in school?

He's good in sports,
he tries hard.

On occasion he makes
a brilliant remark in literature,

but can never explain it.

At times he does surprisingly
well on multiple choice tests,

but we never know
if he guessed or cheated.

Do you think he's
capable of cheating?

How long have you been
his homeroom teacher?

Since 9th grade.

But you know him from before,
right?

What do you know about him?

His big brother is great,
he was sick for many years,

poor guy, until he had
the operation. -I heard.

Ruhama gave him a kidney.

But now he's great,
he helps Shlomi so much.

But personally,
what's your impression of him?

How should I put it...
I think he's a little...

You know.

What does that mean?
-Dumb.

Look at this,
for example.

"Arrogance pays off."

So why hasn't he been kicked out yet?
He's failing all his classes.

Because he doesn't
bother anyone.

He doesn't bother anyone?
-He doesn't bother anyone.

I see.

He doesn't bother anyone.

What's with you? -I have cancer.
I'm gonna die, for sure.

Where do you have cancer?
-My whole body, crawling from head to toe.

What did you bring?

Meat patties with peas?

Did you go to the doctor?

He's a Russian immigrant,
He doesn't know nothing.

Why, don't they have cancer
in Russia? -Loads of it.

They're all dying of cancer.
What does that mean, Shlomi?

That they know
nothing about cancer.

He asks me if I'm Moroccan.

I say my mother was a Moroccan Jew
and my father an Iraqi Jew.

"Then stop eating spicy food,"
he tells me.

Can you believe that?
What are you laughing at?

Your patient has cancer
and you're laughing?

So how's school?
And how's Grandpa?

Does he ask about me?

No.

See?

He'll be sorry for siding
with his daughter-in-law

instead of his son.
Do I deserve this? What did I do?

You cheated on Mom.

Don't talk to me like that,
Shlomi. I'm sensitive.

I didn't cheat on your mom.

Then what did you do?

When you grow up, I'll explain.

Forget it. -It was Aliza,
your mother's friend.

She's the one who walked into the
bathroom while I was showering.

It wasn't me, Shlomi,
it was my dick.

He has a mind of his own,
goddamn him.

You'll understand
when you grow up.

Did you know your mother
goes on blind-dates?

What? -Yeah, she sends ads to
the paper and thinks I don't know.

My corpse isn't even cold yet and
she's already looking for men.

If she doesn't take me back,
I'll kill myself.

Or die of cancer,
whichever comes first.

"Sender: R"

When did you move in?
-A week ago. -I haven't seen you.

I travel a lot. -Yeah? Where to?
-Haifa, I'm looking for a job.

What's wrong with here?
-Nothing.

Wait, didn't you say you were
forming a trio? -We are?

Aren't we?

Do you have
a high school diploma? -Yes.

How old are you?
-17.

17 and you have
a high school diploma.

When did you get it? -2 years
ago, I went to night school.

You sure you're 17?
-Want her to show you some I.D.?

What do you care? -You should be
a secret service interrogator.

See how he talks back
to his mother?

She's new, I wanna get
to know her, so butt out.

Where are your parents?
-At their house.

Why aren't you with them?

I left 2 years ago.

Why?

They got on my nerves.
-Really? How exactly?

They asked me
too many questions.

Where do your parents come from?

They were born here in Israel,
their families came from Morocco.

Wanna do a blood test?
-I don't want anything.

Excuse me,

my plants are calling me.

It was nice to meet you, Ruta.
-Rona.

Her plants call her on the phone.
Is that stupid or what?

It's not a phone. She grows plants
and has a system that beeps.

She's a garden geek?
-A gardener.

Never heard of a girl leaving
her parents to become a gardener.

Ask her if her pee is yellow,
it's the only thing you left out.

Give it a rest, wise guy.

In the end, I'm always right.
-About what? -Nothing.

C'mon, Ruhama, what do you have
to say about her? -She's Moroccan.

So what? -So watch out,
both of you. -Why?

You're like brothers. She'll come between you,
that Ruta. -Rona!

Ruta, Rona, who cares?
She's Moroccan.

What does your mom
have against Moroccans?

She has a complex.

My dad's half-Moroccan, he cheated
on her with her Moroccan friend,

so she thinks there's a Moroccan
conspiracy against her.

I'm Moroccan too, so?

I shall come to your door

With ashen lips

I shall drop my hands to you

I shall tell you

All the good words

That are still,
are still here...

Careful, it's hot.

I wanted to apologize.

For what?

All her questions.
She's a little...

But what are you
apologizing for?

You've got some soap here.

I was washing dishes.

Is it true you had
a special tutor in grade school?

Yeah, Nehama.
I really liked her.

Why did you go to her?

So that she'd help me.
-Did she?

She taught me how to play
the piano, took me to movies.

And sent you for evaluation,
right? -What's "evaluation"?

Different tests,
like the questions I asked you.

How do you know?
-I spoke with her yesterday.

She says hi,
she misses you.

So what did you do
in the evaluation?

They asked all kinds of questions.
-That's it? -Yeah.

Shlomi, are you playing the fool?

Are you putting me on?
-Of course not.

Drink your coffee.

This letter was sent to your
parents after the evaluation.

They were asked to meet with
Prof. Eldad from Haifa Univ.

Do you know about this?

No.

I spoke with him today,
he even remembers you.

But your parents never showed up.
Why, Shlomi?

What's that?

Something Nehama and I wrote.

Do you play at home?
-We don't have a piano.

Do your parents know you play?

Why not?

Doron plays.

So what?

That's his field.
He's really good at it.

What books do you have
at home that you've read?

Not many. The Bible.

What do you like in the Bible?
-Everything.

Do you like David?
-No, not him.

Why?

It's as if they're trying
to hide who he really was.

What are they hiding?
-That he was a piece of shit.

Sorry.

Sorry for what?
-Saying "shit".

It's OK, say "shit"
as much as you want.

What are you thinking about?

I'm contemplating.
-About what?

What to make for lunch.
-What?

Trying to decide between
fish patties and lasagna.

Does cooking relax you? -No,
but it relaxes the ones who eat.

Your parents aren't mad?

No.

Did you forgive them?

For what?

For doing what they did
that made you leave home.

"And David sent Joab,
and his servants with him..."

I wanted her
to think I am fair,

and pure are my hands
and clear is my mind.

Is the falafel good?
-Pretty good.

Sorry it doesn't meet your
standards, monsieur le chef,

next time bring some of your
lasagna patties and fish.

Listen, I have to talk
with your parents,

but I want to wait
with that for awhile.

I want two two of us to go see
Prof. Eldad in Haifa,

to get a fuller picture.
-Of what?

You're a very special boy,
Shlomi.

I don't know if you're fooling
everyone with your brain

or if someone really
put it to sleep,

but it's high time
we did something about it.

Bonjour, monsieur.

What's up? Ziva's here?
-In the kitchen, crying,

hasn't said a word
since she got here.

What's the bag for, Ziva?
-I left home, I'm not going back.

Why, did Sasi wake the boys?

Don't make fun of me, Shlomi.

Got any star cake?

Why did you leave?
-Because.

I'm embarrassed to say.

No one can hear.

He's up all night
on the Internet.

So?

Don't you get it?

No.

What do you think he does,
writes letters to Clinton?

I dunno, what does he do?

He looks at pictures...

of women...

naked...

Wanna talk to him?
-I don't want anything from him.

Want him to apologize?
-Yes.

Is he at Dad's, as usual?
-I dunno.

But don't tell him I told you.
I want him to butter up to me

and promise he'll come back
on all fours. -What is he, a cat?

Hello.

Hello.

What are you doing?
-Nothing.

Sasi, let's go.

She said I could come?

Yeah.
-On all fours?

Yeah.

What did I do?

You shouldn't look at that stuff,
it hurts her feelings.

What were you looking at?
-It's either news or that stuff.

What's "that stuff"?

And why does she take Abir
and Adir when she leaves?

She could at least leave me
one of them. I'm their father.

Which one, do you want her
to leave you? Abir or Adir?

Doesn't matter,
I can't tell who's who anyway.

She doesn't let me be with them.
-C'mon, let's go.

Get lost.
-But he...

No if's, and's, or but's.
You're history.

He came to apologize.
-Butt out, go do your homework.

Stop yelling,
you'll wake the boys.

Stop shushing everyone,
what are you, a librarian?

What did he say?

Never you mind,
you're staying here.

Forget that cheating pervert.
-He didn't cheat on her.

He will.
I know his type.

Tell her I'm gonna kill myself now
if she doesn't come out.

I'll set myself on fire.
-Patience, Sasi. She'll come out.

What did he say?

He's sorry and he'll take
the computer back to work.

Then instead of working
he'll do what he was doing.

Forget that dog, Ziva.

Why is he walking around
like that in front of the boys?

Put something on.

I don't feel like it,
my balls hurt, OK?

What's he laughing at?
Tell me righgt now what he's laughing at.

You're a fatso, no wonder he was
looking at babes on the Internet.

He wouldn't if you weren't so fat.
-You'd better watch it.

Ziva, my love, I'll die
if you don't come back.

Then die. -Sasi, how could you
do this to me? -What did I do?

You kick him out the door,
he comes through the window.

He's trying to come through
the drainage now. Sasi!

Sasi, can you hear me?

Shlomi, help Doron
clear out his room. -Why?

You're moving into Shlomi
and Grandpa's room.

You wish, I'm not leaving
my room for that fatso.

Bonjour, madame.
-Bonjour, monsieur.

Let me get this. You're moving
more people into my house?

What planet did you fall off?

Don't you tell me planet,

I've been told planet enough
in my life. -Bardayan, butt out!

Ziva?

Ziva?

Ziva!

Ziva?

Ziva! -Shlomi, go tell Sasi
to scram, Ziva's staying here.

Where will we sleep?

Shlomi, go out to him.

Shlomi, please, I'm asking you.

Shlomi!
-I don't want to!

Why don't you ask her
what she wants? -What for?

Because it's her life,
let her decide for herself.

Do you want to go back to him?

Yeah.
-That's what you want?

Yeah.
-OK.

But I don't wanna see you anymore.
-Fine, you won't.

I don't wanna see your face,
even at my funeral.

What happened?
-I don't know.

Ticks!

It's your damn father. He must've
put them here when I wasn't home.

Dad? -He's capable of it,
believe me.

He wants to get back at me 'cause I
gave the kidney to Doron, not him.

The boy's life was at stake and
he's playing games with kidneys.

Like a baby. Now he puts
ants in my bed. -He didn't.

Yes he did.
-He loves you.

You're so naive, Shlomi.

He loves you and is
scared to death of you.

Then where did this zoo
come from?

Want some chocolate?

Where did you get it?

Someone gave it to me.

Does Dad know you go on dates?

I don't care.

Why are you doing it, Mom?

'Cause I'm sick of
only ants coming to me.

It's stale.

Someone finally gives me
some chocolate...

Do you think I'm obsessive,
Shlomi?

What?
-Am I obsessive?

About what? -Why do I give
Ziva such a hard time

and run after Doron
with his pills even though he's fine.

Even Moti came to me
yesterday and said:

"I'm gonna marry Rona,"
and instead of giving him a kiss,

I bawled him out.
Why do I have to interfere?

Moti wants to marry Rona?
-Instead of giving him a kiss...

Even with you, Shlomi, why
do I force you to go to school?

You have such a hard time, I may
be doing you harm. -You're not.

I see you don't have any friends.
-I do, I just don't have time.

You don't have friends.

You think I don't see,
but I know everything about you.

No you don't.
-What don't I know?

You don't know about the
evaluation they did on me.

What evaluation? When?
-3 years ago.

That thing Nehama sent you to?

Of course I know.

Why didn't you go to
that meeting in Haifa?

They sent you a letter about meeting
a professor. I know they did. Why didn't you go?

I was busy throwing
your damn father out,

burying myself
after he humiliated me.

Besides, I don't wanna hear that
dyslexic-schmislexic crap again.

We each have our own fate,
why make a big deal out of it?

How did we get on
this subject anyway?

Go to sleep, Mom, you must
be tired. I changed your sheets.

You're a special boy, Shlomi.

Good night.

"Doron's diary, top secret"

"It finally happened.
I got her into bed.

"She's the most amazing fuck
on the globe.

"We did it over and over again,
wasting dozens of condoms...

"Rona is a sex kitten."

Rona?

"...I think she's a nymphomaniac,
but it's fun nailing her.

"I hope Moti doesn't find out,
it'd kill him if he knew

"Rona was blowing me."

What's up, Shlomi,
what's wrong?

Shlomi?

You're not speaking to me?
What's with you? Wait up.

Shlomi!

How are things, Shlomi?
-Shitty. -What's wrong?

Nervous about going
to Haifa tomorrow? -No.

Then what?

Would you tell me
what's wrong?

Would you mind answering
a few questions?

You're always asking me questions,
so can I ask you some too?

Sure, go ahead.
-Are you married?

I was, I'm divorced.
-Are you looking for a wife?

What is this about? -I saw you
with someone yesterday. -So what?

I know her, she's our neighbor.
You'd better watch it. -Why?

She's totally wacko.
-Really? -She's a widow.

They say she killed her husband
by poisoning his food.

She told me her husband
was alive and well.

She's lying. Watch out.

She even said she hasn't decided
whether to divorce him or not.

Are you saying she lied to me?
That she's actually a widow?

Not exactly. She... was a widow,
she remarried. I think...

Are you worried about me,
Shlomi?

Thanks, but don't worry, it was just a date.
I don't think anything will come out of it.

Yeah?
-She still loves her husband,

otherwise she wouldn't keep
talking about him. -She did?

You?re just nervous
about tomorrow.

Don't worry, I'll take you to
a great falafel place in Haifa.

I'm ready for an upgrade.

What? -You said you wanna upgrade.
Well, I'm ready.

Only if you swear
not to tell anyone.

We can do it right now.

Here at school?

Of course not.
Let's get outta here.

Where to?
-My house.

My parents won't be back 'til tomorrow,
we can have the whole house.

We can upgrade all we want.

I know you're a virgin, but
don't worry, I'm experienced,

I even have some condoms.

What do you say?

Your turn.

Keep going.

What a hard-on...

I hope the condom will do.

Come closer.

What are you doing? -It's not
supposed to be like this.

Don't you wanna
sleep with me?

I'm dying to sleep with you.
-Then what's wrong?

I'm not sure if I love you.
-Why? -I'm not sure you love me.

I'm crazy about you.
C'mon, let's keep going,

you still have a hard-on.

He has a mind of his own.
-What?

Is it because of the condom?

Shlomi.

What's gonna happen tomorrow?

Will you talk to me at school?

Or will you keep me
in your deep-freeze?

Will you talk to me
when I'm down?

What do you know about me?

Do you know where I live?
-I know you're a coward.

I'm sorry, Tehilla.

I'm sorry.

You didn't even say
bonjour today.

Bonjour, monsieur.

One more bonjour like that
and we've had it.

Who's the girl
who broke your heart?

Listen to me,
girls are like buses.

If you miss one,
another one will come along.

Girls are like mirrors.
You see yourself,

your dimples and your pimples.

I thought girls were like buses.

Like buses, like mirrors,
like nooses.

The tighter the knot,
the harder you get. -What?

Yeah. Men getting hanged
have a hard-on. That's science.

What do you keep looking at?

The sky.

Why?

Sometimes it's blue,
sometimes it's clear.

There are clouds, stars,
lightening, many things.

They each do their own thing and
don't get in each other's way.

What's gonna happen to you,
Grandpa? -What do you mean?

Like if I go away.
-Where to?

To school, for instance.
-School's good, I'm all for that.

But what about you? Who'll give
you a bath and feed you?

What do you care? Why do you
have to butt in on everything?

If you close your eyes,
will the sky come falling down?

I have news for you,
it won't.

And you, Shlomi,
find your mirror

and get on your bus
and stop worrying about me.

I've been worried about
enough in my life.

So it's a boarding school?

No, it's a house, I told you,
no more than 10 kids.

How much does it cost?
-Don't worry about the money, Shlomi,

that's your parents' problem,
not yours.

They don't have any money.
-First do these tests,

then we'll take care of the rest.
-What do they study there?

Eldad develops thinking abilities,
stuff like that,

but basically, every one
studies what they want.

What'll I study?
-Whatever you want.

Shlomi, we've been
waiting for you. Welcome.

Yehoshua Eldad,
nice to meet you.

My wife, Miriam, is making beans.
I can't stand the smell,

so I came out to do some
gardening. Come.

I heard you're a fabulous cook.
Me too, I make great fava beans.

Egyptian-style.

This computer is
connected to his.

This way I can keep track
of his pace.

What do you think?
-Never seen anything like it.

Tell me, how is it possible--how did this boy
reach the age of 16

with the whole world
thinking he's semi-retarded?

It's like the joke about
the boy and the salt,

everyone thought he was mute till
they asked him to pass the salt.

You and this teacher of yours
finally asked Shlomi

to pass the salt, so he did.

You ruined the joke. It was
the boy who asked for the salt.

Jokes aren't my thing.

He stopped.
Why did he stop?

Let him take his time, Yehoshua, he can't
tell heads from tails today.

Are you Shlomi?

Yeah.

I'm Miriam.

Come have a drink.

It's my turn today,
so I'm making beans.

Every time Yehoshua annoys me,
I make beans because he hates them.

To get back at me, he makes those
disgusting fava beans of his.

Drink.

So you and Prof. Eldad
do the cooking here?

I cook once a week, Yehoshua once,
and the kids do the rest.

Are you Shlomi?

Bonjour, Monsieur Shlomi.

Come in, don't be shy.

"I... think, but not too much."

This is for your parents.

I want to meet them
to explain everything.

They won't let me.
-Of course they will.

The question is,
what do you want?

I dunno. -Think about it,
Shlomi. There's time.

There's a kid there who speaks
French all the time,

just like my grandpa.
-So?

Another kid looks at naked
women on the computer. -So what?

Yehoshua and Miriam fight about
their beans just like my parents.

I'll end up cooking for them
so they don't go crazy,

so what's the difference?
-That you'll have other things, Shlomi.

Like what?
-Lots of things.

Interesting classes, activities,
good teachers from the university,

programs at your level,

a computer so you won't have
to work so hard at writing.

And people who won't think
you're an idiot,

who will help you understand what you want,
what's interesting, what's important.

And you can cook too,
but only if you want to.

But who'll take care
of my grandpa?

I'm sure your mother
will find a solution.

I got the feeling she can deal
with these kinds of problems.

How's that?

C'mon, I know you know
we went on a blind-date.

I didn't know she was
your mother until we met,

but she kept talking about you.

About me?

You said she talked
about my dad.

A little about him,
a lot about you.

What did she say?

That she loves you very much.

She doesn't love me.
-Yes she does.

She doesn't.
-She does. Very, very much.

She never said so.

Some people don't say so.

She tells Doron.

So what?

So she loves Doron.
-She loves you too.

No.

She loves you too, Shlomi.

And your father too.
-Then why did she throw him out?

Shlomi...

You can't keep on living
other people's lives,

you have to live your own life.
Let them be.

What are you doing here?
-Your mother put me out here.

Why?
-She thinks I have lice.

I have lice? She has lice!
Shame on her!

Where have you been?
The house is a mess

and your grandpa's itching
like a leper.

I called school, they said you
went somewhere with the principal.

Where did you go?
-For evaluation.

What are you talking about?

Where are you going?
-To wash the leper.

No way I'm going to meet
with the principal. -Why?

If he wants to kick you out he can send
the Minister of Education.

He's not kicking me out.

Then it's that
dyslexic-schmislexic crap again.

You're going.
-Why?

'Cause I said so.
-Shlomi, don't yell at me.

He'll yell at you.
-Don't you yell either.

We're both gonna yell at you.
Everyone's gonna yell at you.

Both the prime minister
and the president.

Even the Queen of England's
gonna yell at you.

Open your ears and get
the hell outta here,

you and your lice.

OK?

Monsieur Shalom,

get out of here.

What? -Take the money I put aside
for you and get out of here.

What money? -20 shekels
for every meal you fixed,

15 shekels for a bath,
10 shekels for a shampoo.

You're dreaming again, Grandpa.

The money's in your book
and don't worry about me,

I'll be leaving soon too.
-Grandpa, stop it.

Go, join the partisans,

go up into the mountains,

take over Tokyo,
before it's too late.

Take over Tokyo...

Are you talking to me now?

Are we gonna stand here
in silence or what?

You've been drinking.

My mom's right.

Come in.

What's your mom right about?

You're cheating.
-On who?

On everybody.

What are you talking about?

You're cheating on Moti
by upgrading with Doron,

and you're cheating on Doron who's cheating with you
on Moti, his best friend since first grade.

What? -That's what Doron
wrote in his diary.

I don't understand.
-What's to understand?

You're Moroccan and
my mom was right.

Sit down.

What exactly did Doron
write in his diary?

That you're wasting condoms
and Moti mustn't find out.

Why? -Moti wants to marry you.
that's what he told my mom.

Marry me? Why?

He loves you.
You're his girlfriend, aren't you?

I'm his friend, like I'm
Doron's friend and your friend.

I have lots of friends. -You're
not a couple? -Are you nuts?

And Doron isn't...
-No way.

Then why did he write that...
-How should I know?

He's a fantasizer, an idiot,
is that my fault?

What a bunch of babies.

That's why you haven't
been talking to me.

I have to puke.

Where's Grandpa?

I brought you your pills.
-He's reading my autobiography.

Because he's schmislexic.

You put the ticks.
-It's not like you, Shlomi.

He's a genius,
you promised me some lasagna.

Come back to me on all fours.
-What am I, a cat?

Begin, where's Grandpa?
-In Tokyo.

You're gonna wake up my brain!

I shall wait for you,
like your shoes...

Are you OK?

At first I thought
you passed out,

but then you opened your eyes
and mumbled something and went back to sleep.

What did I say?

Something about partisans
taking over Tokyo.

I apologize for accusing you
like that.

It's not your fault
your brother is so creative.

Oh, you threw up on your clothes
so I washed them for you.

They must be dry by now.

Don't worry, I closed my eyes
when I took off your clothes.

Is it OK if I wash my face?

Sure.

You have a nice house.

Thanks.

I'll be leaving soon.

Where to?
-Haifa.

I found an apartment and a job
and I'm starting school soon.

I have to get away from
my parents for awhile.

Wanna come with me?

What?

I'm looking for a roommate.

It wouldn't hurt you to get away
from you parents either.

And your brother's diaries.

Your shirt is
the wrong way round.

"Fantasizer"

Why does he always
have to be late?

I hope you burn in hell.
-Why did she say that?

You burn in hell. -Mom, it's
none of your business, butt out.

You've been giving me
a lot of lip lately.

We're here for the boy
and that's it, get it?

Good morning to you too,
Ruhama.

So they wanna kick you out?
I'll burn down the school.

I'll burn it down before you.

Calm down, no one's
burning down anything.

Have you noticed
the Moroccan mouth on him lately?

Good morning.
-Good morning.

OK.

I asked you here to talk
about Shlomi, of course,

I've been spending a lot of
time with your son lately,

I don't have to tell you
how wonderful he is,

but beyond that, look,
Shlomi has very special abilities

that we should have detected
much earlier but we didn't.

Did you say something?
-Nothing. Go on.

The idea is to provide Shlomi
with something suitable

for his abilities.
There's a place in Haifa... -Where?

In Haifa...
-Boarding school.

Mom, it's not boarding school,
listen.

You think I was born yesterday?
-Excuse me?

You want to kick him out, so you
made up this story about a boarding school?

Forget it.

I'll go all the way to the
Minister of Education. -Mom!

What are you doing here anyway?
Get out. -Wait, Mrs. Bardayan.

Oh, so now I'm Mrs. Bardayan?

You had no problem calling me
Ruhama at the cafe.

What cafe?

You were at a cafe?

They were at a cafe?

Are you doing this to spite me
because I didn't stay?

He gives me chocolate, then gives
me this story straight from 1001 Nights.

Go blackmail someone else, my son
isn't going to any boarding school.

Besides, your chocolate was stale.

What chocolate?
-C'mon, Robert, we're leaving.

You gave her chocolate?

Mom.
-Go back to school.

I'm not going to school.
-You're better off.

What chocolate? -Go to night
school. Doron will help you.

Are you dating that man?

You'll go to night school
and start working. -Ruhama.

Did you touch my diary?
-Leave me alone, Doron.

Answer me. This retarded
handwriting could only be yours.

Don't you ever call me
retarded again.

You fantasizer, pervert.
-I'm a fantasizer?

Do you jerk off after you write
all those hallucinations?

You?re just jealous.
-Of what? Your fantasies?

It's all true. Every word.
You?re just jealous.

A jealous virgin.

He's your best friend.
Shame on you.

Did you cheat Moti?

Forget it, Mom. -Answer me, Doron,
did you cheat with that Rona on Moti?

It's all in his imagination, mom, forget it.
-No it's not.

I warned you she's Moroccan.

Butt out, it's none
of your business!

I won't put up with
any cheaters here.

Fine. If that's what you want,
that's what you get.

I'm through with him.
-What now?

He put our picture.
-What? Where?

On the Internet.

He filmed us doing "stuff"
and put it on the Internet.

Why?

So that I won't complain about
him looking at other women.

Now he only looks at me.
I'm never going back to him.

Where are Abir and Adir?
-Outside, with him.

Shlomi, go get them,
don't let him in.

If she wants them, let her come out herself.
They're staying with me.

C'mon, Doron,
I'll talk to Mom.

It's all your fault, you snoop.

Tell Ziva the fatso that there's
an empty room for her now, OK?

Why didn't you bring the twins?
-Sasi wouldn't let me.

Great, now he's taking
my boys away from me.

Mom, talk to Doron,
he's packing.

I want to know, right now.
Are you going on blind-dates?

Yes.

And how can I help you?

I need the twins' bottles.

Why do they slam the door?

What am I supposed to do now?

Ziva.

Ruhama. -Ziva.
-They're crying.

Ziva.
-Ruhama.

Don't move, they have
a father too. -They're crying.

Come back here, Ziva,
I'm talking to you.

Stop it!

What do you want?
For once, say what you want!

Why do you have to
boss everybody around?

Now you're a hotheaded
Moroccan too. -So are you.

Leave me alone.
-You're Moroccan too,

your mother came from Morocco.
-Tangier.

And where exactly is Tangier?
-You've become like your father.

Just because Dad did it with some
Moroccan, what's the big deal?

One mistake and the whole
world is against you.

You enjoy being miserable,

that way you have everyone
around you all the time.

Then go.

I am.
-Where to?

The school for retards in Haifa.

Then I'm gonna marry a Moroccan
woman and have 10 Moroccan kids.

From the day they're born
I'll tell them they're geniuses

and that I love them,
even if they aren't.

Grandpa, I'm leaving.

Once I get settled,
I'll come get you.

You'll manage
in the meantime, right?

Grandpa.

Grandpa?

Bonjour, monsieur.

Forgive me, Ruhama.

When will you forgive me?

It doesn't have to be like this.
Let's lighten up.

Doron is healthy,
everything's OK now.

I know you love me,
but you're scared to admit it.

You think you'll get hurt
or something.

But love, Ruhama, isn't
a punishment or a reward.

It's either there or it isn't.
-So now you're a psychologist?

No.
-A poet?

Then shut up a little.

Why did you do it to me,
Robert?

It wasn't me.

It was him, goddamn him.

Just say the word
and I'll chop him off.

We shouldn't be laughing,
Robert, your father just died.

I didn't even get to
say goodbye to him.

And what about Shlomi?

He was so close to him.

He'll be OK.
Shlomi's strong.

Noticed how he grew up
on us lately?

With everything
we went through with Doron,

we're lucky Shlomi's
so reliable,

we don't have to run after him for
every little thing. -That's right.

He'll be so amazing
when he grows up.

Like his father.

He could learn a few things
from you. But just a few.

What?
-I want him to surprise, to dare,

to climb out of his shell and
see what a special boy he is.

We have to go back to
that principal, Robert.

Who knows? He may be right
and we have to do something.

C'mon, let's go to sleep.

But you're sleeping on the sofa.
You're in mourning.

OK, OK.

"To my beloved
Monsieur Shlomi"

Again the melody returns,
the one you neglected in vain

and the length of the path
is still wide open...

"While" open?
-No, "wide", like eyes "wide open".

That's it?

Write at the end: "Don't worry
about me. Love, Shlomi."

Where's Shlomi?

What happened?

"To Tehilla"

I know I owe you a lasagna,
but I think you'll enjoy this much more.

"To Begin Yaish"

But I'm not gonna live there.

What?

I'll study there and live
somewhere else. -Where?

With my beloved.
Bon appetit.

What is this crap?
What school is he talking about?

Who's Rona?
I'm gonna go get him. -Robert...

Let him.

Why?

Why not?

What should I tell them?

Nothing. I'll call them when
I get to the school for retards.

I'll straighten up what's left
and come tomorrow.

I'll wait for you.
-You'd better.

Like your shoes.
-What?

I'll wait for you,
like your shoes. -What?

I'll wait for you.

Like your shoes.

I shall come to your door

With ashen lips

I shall drop my hands to you
I shall tell you

All the good words

That are still,
are still here

Your poverty stricken house,
so dark at night

And it must be eternally sad
And my life that collapsed

Without reaching you

Were turned over
to outdoors and drum

But suddenly you touch
like a glistening hand

You pierce like
a forgotten memory

The silence of the heart,
between each beat

That silence

That silence is yours

I shall come to your door

With ashen lips

I shall drop my hands to you
I shall tell you

All the good words

That are still,
are still here

But suddenly you touch
like a glistening hand

You pierce like
a forgotten memory

The silence of the heart,
between each beat

That silence

That silence is yours

English: Suzy De Lowe
Edited by: Gideon Klionsky

Subtitles: Cinematyp Ltd.