Bon Bini: Judeska in da House (2020) - full transcript

Blue? Purple?
What works best on TV?

Where's your power tie?
The red Corneliani you got for Christmas?

Red on blue? Shouldn't I wear
a white shirt then? Or is that too much?

Erik-Jan, look here.
He's using Mummy's tableware.

Must be a very special girl, then.

It's Lodewijk.

Hi, Lodewijk.
Your tie.

Good to hear from you.
Let me...

Exciting.

We think you would make
a great new party leader.

And the other candidate?
Van Amerongen?



He's not a government minister, like you.

But he has an advantage
in terms of exposure.

I was out handing out flowers
the other day.

Right. While Van Amerongen
was arranging mouth masks in China.

Through contacts I gave him.

The country is facing an emergency.
Now's the time to put yourself on the map.

It's not about what you do behind
the scenes. It's about what people see.

The party needs a strong leader.

So you'd better come up
with a plan, Erik-Jan.

I'm just a little nervous.

Darling, I know you're not going
to disappoint me.

Well... Remember that Mireille girl?
Oh, yeah. The one with the stoop.

She would have made Quasimodo jealous.

That girl from horse-riding...
What's her name again?



That was Chantal.
She would have given us nice offspring.

And chlamydia.
James.

Mum, it's very important to me
that you like her too.

Don't worry about it, darling.

But this one is... different.

I'm sure that if she's won your heart,
she'll be completely suitable.

You have a real talent, Auntie.
I know.

God blessed me plenty, I swear.

That's why I don't do contests. Couldn't
do that to the others. I'd blow them away.

Bayoncé, Shakiro. Everyone.

So nice of you to take me.
- No problem. It's on the way to Auntie Cheryl.

Did she get divorced a fourth time?

Get out of here, girl.
We call her Lingo now.

She's held more balls
than that show's presenter.

This is the first time
I'm meeting his parents.

So, is he handsome?
Very handsome.

And down below? Nice and big?
Auntie!

Well, pardon me for asking.

I mean, you don't buy jeans
before you try them on, right?

So, where's our turn?
Here.

You can drop me off at the gate, Auntie.
That's the plan. I'm in a hurry.

Auntie Cheryl ordered two big boys

and I don't want her to have
sucked them dry before I get there.

How may I help you?
We're at the gate.

Correct. You're using the intercom.
So I'd drawn that conclusion myself.

But what can I do for you?

I want a mega crispy go large
with extra fries.

Wat do you think, tonto?
I'm bringing an important visitor.

Could you enunciate more clearly?

I really cannot make out
what you're saying.

You're starting to annoy me.
Open the gate.

I'm here with the girlfriend
of the family's son.

Why didn't you say so? Please come in.
Idiot.

Auntie? So you are coming?

It's like Oprah Winfrey lives here.

Auntie, please act normal
when we go in.

Remember
when you met my first boyfriend?

Who? Sprinkler? He couldn't
speak proper. So vexatious.

He had a lisp.
So what? You should speak proper.

Getting everyone wet.
You needed an umbrella around him.

Auntie, I really like this boy.

Could you try to be
a bit less enthusiastic?

What do you think? That I don't know
how to behave? That I would...

Woah, Gabriella.

My niece has excellent taste.
She gets that from me.

Ma'am, can I help you?
Shush, no need to be so formal.

You can call me Judeska.

Auntie.

Excellent build. Black.

A real macho, macho man.

Auntie, this is Lucas.

What's this? Why are you with him?
Do you need an optician?

Lucas, this is my Auntie Judeska.
Hi.

Apologies for the chaos at the gate.
It's rather busy today.

Do come in. There is cake.

What? Don't go anywhere.

Gabriella? You should have picked
the other brother.

That's Pablo. Our gardener.

The gardener? So you're good
with your fingers.

I have a large black pot
you're welcome to dig around in.

When you're done, will you come in?

Banana Split.

"You're on candid camera." Ralph Inbar
will walk in to tell us any moment now.

He's been dead
these past 15 years, M'lady.

Oh, I know.
This is one of those memes.

That's what you call it, right?
A meme?

When you prank someone
and then you post it on YouTube.

Hilarious. Where is the camera?

Good joke.

But what's the joke?
What's the joke?

I didn't hear. Tell me, please.

Press conference in 10 minutes.

Apologies, duty calls.
Very nice to meet you.

And you.

Hopefully a bit longer next time.
Wouldn't count on it.

Aren't you going to say something?

What should I say?
Yeah, what should he say?

I'm missing things.
I keep getting distracted.

You have a lovely garden.
I adore that black tulip.

Honey? Tell me this is a joke?
Please, Mum. Behave.

I had imagined someone... different.
But not this different.

Hang on. Are you talking about us?

I'm sure they're very nice people.
But not our kind of people.

Konjo, I can hear you, you know.
I'm talking to my son here.

Carry on like this and I'll make sure you
can ask Jesus, Abraham and the Holy Spirit.

Do you know the movie 'Get Out', where
white people try to kill black people?

Auntie...
Well, I'm from 'Get Crazy'.

Hit me. One more word,
and you'll see what happens.

Gabrielle, get a move on. We're off.

Good idea. James, will you open the gate
to let them out?

Auntie, wait.

Welcome everyone, to this, I might say,
improvised press conference.

Unfortunately, we do not have
an easy message for you today.

The government made a hard,
but necessary decision.

For the next two weeks,
the Netherlands will go into full lockdown.

They think they're so important?
Auntie?

Better than everyone else?

Auntie, please try to remain calm.

I should stay calm?
Better tell it to that witch in there.

Tell her to go put on her Cuckoo
Klan dress, to match her pinhead.

I don't know what happened in there.
But Lucas is not like his parents.

Those people are discriminators.

This situation is new to all of us.

It's important that we all reach out
to those who are less well-off.

Show charity. Help each other.

If I may? What you say
sounds noble, Mr De Vries.

But as the Home Secretary,
who are you reaching out to?

Or are those people the ones
that will go into lockdown with you?

Where possible, I too will do my bit.

This is... ehm...
Gabriella.

Gabriella. Right.
And this is her aunt... Jumanji.

Konjo, what? Jumanji?
Your mother's Jumanji.

My name is Judeska. Judeska, okay?
Sure.

Gabriella is my son's
new Surinamese girlfriend.

Hello, you stupid, or what?
Suriname? Curaçao!

We're from Curaçao.
Suriname...

I was in Suriname once.

And someone from Suriname
was in me. John Williams.

I'm happy to invite these two people

to spend the next two weeks here
with me and my family, in our home.

What?
What do you say?

No way. With that ghoul in there?

Oh, no.
I'm not staying. I'm gone.

Give me one good reason
why I'd want to stay here.

Lord, thank you for this message.

I understand now
what it is You want from me.

Hello? Is this thing on? Test, test.

Hello and welcome, my compatriots.
All you toffs and fops.

Hey, Cheryl? I'm staying here.

You can have the both of them.
I'm here to do God's work.

Thank you. No further questions?
Then I'd like to close this meeting.

The closing of the gate
kicks off the lockdown.

I wish you all
much wisdom and forbearance.

Whiskey? Shall I make it a double?

Yes. And I think I need to lie down.

This is great. I'm cutting loose
for two weeks. This is lit.

Plenty chic. Home24?
Or Wayfair?

I'm sorry if I ambushed you
with my invitation to stay.

But we'll make you feel welcome
these two weeks.

James.
Sir?

Would you show our guests around
and give them a room?

With pleasure. I always say: The more,
the merrier. And the more work.

Shouldn't we discuss this with Mum?
Not right now, Luc.

Duty calls.

I'll show Gabriella my room. Come.

Are you always this well-prepared
for a lockdown?

I want the whole shebang.
Show me everything.

Chop, chop, Lurch. Hop to it.

I don't know, something's dead in here.

That's Black Spirit, ma'am.
A thoroughbred.

Mistress Liselot's
most precious possession.

What is it with you?

You white people like buying black things
and calling them your possessions.

Possessions. Idiot.

I'll sit on your face
and make you my possession.

Two weeks together,
in this wonderful house.

You never told me
your parents live in a mansion.

Could have been worse, right?

I hope your mum can cope.
What was her problem?

She'll come round.

She's just very stressed out
about this thing with my dad.

She just needs to get used to you.
Us?

Your aunt, I mean.

It'll be all right.

As long as we're together, right?

And I can get used to that.

Do you want to tell them?

We're here now, right?
Really?

I think it'll blow everyone's mind
when we tell them.

Which thrift shop
did you pick this shit up from?

This is part of M'lady's art collection.

What is this? A Pistachio?

A Picasso? No, this is a work
by a Japanese artist.

Ochi Wawi.
Oshi Wali?

Was he retarded?
He must have been blind.

Well, this work is worth
some 340,000 euros.

This?
Yes.

Konjo, listen. At the Poundshop
I can get this for a fiver.

You guys are plenty strange.
340,00 euros. You've got to be kidding.

I never would have thought.
That was a brilliant political move.

Yes? Do you really think so?

I thought it would be a powerful signal
to the rest of the country.

Everyone's always going on
about equality. So I thought...

So you thought to work some white magic.
Or is it black?

I had Van Amerongen on the phone,
shouting and swearing.

You managed to get him really riled up.

I want to show that I'm able
to make connections.

To build bridges between black and white.

Building bridges, as a society.
Together as one.

I'm curious to know what Liselot thinks.

And if you'll be able
to get rid of those people again.

Liselot thinks it's a great idea.
She is really very...

She fully supports me.

Why me? Why?

This is plenty expensive.
You can smell the polyester.

So, how are you at foot massages?

I try to stay as far away
from ladies' feet as possible.

Pity. Plenty pity.
You don't know what you're missing.

Do you now that saying?

When someone
shoves a toe in your mouth

you need to suck on it.

Diner is served at 7 o'clock.

Suitable attire is expected.

Oh. Want to see me
suitably attired, James?

Would you like to see me
in my negligee?

If that is all you brought...

It's red. And the bottom is soluble.

Melts in the mouth.

In close contact, it starts to foam.

Hope you have an appetite.
There'll be plenty foam.

Pity. I just had a sausage roll.

If you would excuse me?
I have things to do.

I'm curious about
that sausage roll of yours.

Pablo!

Hey! Hey! Hello! Pablo!

Two weeks? And you have to stay in
all that time?

We're allowed out,
but we can't leave the grounds.

But no worries. They have a tennis court,
a swimming pool and a sauna.

I'm getting jealous, dushi.

What are his parents like?
Just as nice as Lucas?

I've barely seen them since we got here.

His dad seems very nice. And his mum...
I need to get to know them better first.

And my sister?
Hope she's not misbehaving?

Auntie Judeska is trying.

She has a thing for the gardener.
So she's keeping herself entertained.

But have you told them already?
No, we're waiting for the right moment.

Dushi, you're engaged.
You need to celebrate.

Don't keep it quiet. Tell them.

They should be proud to get
a pretty daughter-in-law like you.

Rest assured, papi,
we will tell everyone soon.

Dinner is served in 15 minutes.

Or would you prefer to eat up here
the next two weeks?

Tell them not to touch anything.

And count the silverware.
I'll be right down.

I didn't know Ferrero Rocher
also did a clothing line.

This is a Donatella Ferrari.

You wish you could carry this off,
with that stank face of yours.

Maybe I'd like to say a few words
before we eat.

We're living in strange times.

And I'm convinced that we can only
overcome this situation together.

Together? With that spruced up bonbon?

So I would like to warmly welcome
Gabriella and Euforia...

Judeska.
Judeska's the name.

Learn to spell. Queen's English.
Of course.

I'd like to warmly welcome you
to our household.

These next two weeks,
our home is your home.

Home's a zoo.

Right. James, would you serve, please?
With pleasure, sir.

Yes, for heaven's sake, let's eat.

Hello, there. Where are your manners?
Sinvergüenza. You're plain rude.

Dear Father, I approach You in all
humility, humble as You know I am.

Bless me.

Bless my path in life, Father.

And everyone who seeks me out, Father:

Strike them down with Your lightning.
Several times. Until they're dead.

Amens.

Aren't you supposed to pray for others?

I wasn't done yet.

Father? It's me again.

Father, please help the people
who really need it.

Like the gardener, Father.

Bless his tools
so he can use them well.

I have a few things
that urgently need pruning.

Amens.
This is too much.

You can't keep interrupting people
when they're busy talking to God.

You know, you really need Jesus
in your life.

I should be praying for you.
Let me talk to God for you.

Father, I know You do not make mistakes.

That's how I know that this, botched
as it may be, is part of Your plan.

To show other people,
however bad life treats them

or how ugly they may be

there's always someone worse off.

Father, help me exorcise this beast.

Father, help me to exterminate
this dried-out relic.

Amens.

Can someone please deliver me
from this creature?

Oh, so you want to be delivered?
Yes, I want to be delivered.

Milady wants to be delivered.

Yes, Milady desperately wants
to be delivered.

Are you 100 per cent sure
you want to be delivered?

Deliver me already,
you hopeless chickenshit.

There you go.
Delivered and blessed.

I want those two women out.
Right now!

Honey, I'm sorry I didn't confer
with you first. It all happened so fast.

I'm no going to be at the same table
with those two for the next two weeks.

Calm down and let me explain.
This is a godsend.

For whom?
For me. For us.

I'm on the shortlist
for the party leadership.

This action will put me in the lead.
Guaranteed.

Couldn't you have picked someone else?

There's a family from Norway in the village.
I mean, they are immigrants, right?

We have to show the outside world

that in this house, we're perfectly capable
of living together.

So please, be civil. Do it for me.
Surely you can pretend for two weeks?

I've been pretending forever.

I need to sleep now.

If I can, that is.
I'm completely stressed out.

Would you like me
to give you a massage?

You sleep in the study.
I need my space.

Sweet dreams.

Pablo?

Pablo? Come out and plays.

Pa...

Pablo, sure. Pretend you're asleep.
I think it's sexy.

Go on. Blow on it.
Blow on it.

Make your wonder...

Wait, what? Who's there?

Where is Pablo?

It's not what you think. I was asleep.

I see. You sleep with your mouth open.

Listen, Harvey Swinestein.

Are you pretending to be Pablo
to take advantage of me?

I was asleep
when you sat on my face.

Exactly. Sat.
Dipshit. Bugger off, you.

Shall I get you a mint, sir?

James!

Calm down.
I don't know what it was.

It was big and hairy.

No worries, M'lady. It wasn't a rat.

It was a puss. A dead puss.

Mum?

How are you doing?
What do you think?

I know. It's a bit much.
This lockdown, and all.

All these people.
This house wasn't built for that.

It was never the plan for Judeska
to come along.

She was only meant to drop Gabriella off.

That woman is positively awful.

I'm just glad we're together.

Can't we do something nice?
Something fun?

I entered once.
In tennis for the handicaps.

Handicaps?
Yeah. What's the name again?

I always forget the name.

Badmeston. That's it.
Badmeston.

I say, konjo, that game is plenty slow.

I hit the thing. I went home.

I ate, showered, did my nails.

I came back, the thing was still flying.

Are you done chatting?
Vexatious.

James, pay attention.
I'm going to ace this.

I'm plenty good. People call me
Judeska Williams.

Oh, right. After the sisters.

Not the sisters. John Williams.
I'm good with his balls.

All right. Enjoy your game.

Hey, hello. Take it easy.
Sorry.

Out. Second serve.

15-love.
Bloody vexatious, I swear.

Auntie, go to the net.
Why?

We need to change position.

Hurry up.

Again?
Second serve. Again.

You saw, right? Right?

30-love.

Auntie, we need to change places again.

What? Make up your mind. Back, front...
You're making me dizzy.

I'll need a painkiller next.

Oops. Sorry.
40love.

Disqualified.

I thought you people
were so good at sports.

Auntie. Let's go.
She's lucky I'm out of ammo.

I should have hit her in the box.
We won, Luc.

Vexatious. Don't touch me.

You saw, right? That's how you do it.
Game, set and match for Milady.

That's how to play it.

Smoke that scum out
so that they show their true colour.

I just don't get
that Lucas doesn't see what I see.

He's oblivious.
The boy's in love, M'lady. That's all.

Ha, love.

Status is what it's all about.
Without it, you have nothing.

Sure. I know all about that.

You shouldn't look for what you have
in common, but for what divides you.

James.
M'lady?

Get the tableware from upstairs.
I feel like a treat.

Unfortunately, Erik-Jan is too busy
to attend.

But I very much wanted
to offer you this lunch

to temper the somewhat tempestuous
energy of these past few days.

All right. Having said that...

James?
M'lady?

We're ready for the first course.

It's really nice of you
to go to all this trouble.

No trouble at all, my girl.
Courtesy is an important quality.

So is etiquette. Very important.

Is this a rummage sale?

Why so much cutlery on the table?
It's making me dizzy.

The last time I saw this when uncle Edzard
came to negotiate about Granddad's estate.

I say, Lucas.

You know very well
that we dine like this every day.

Thank you, James.

Eenie, meenie, minie, moe.
Catch a tiger by the toe.

If he hollers, let him...
Auntie, what are you doing?

I'm trying to choose. These people
need to show off how important they are.

As if the rest of the country
still eats with their hands.

I'm very confused.

It's very simple. Start on the outside
and work your way in with every course.

The hors d'oevre today
is Tartare de Boeuf

topped with a quail's egg
and Moutarde de Dijon.

What's this?
Are you going to eat this like this?

Aren't you going to fry it?
Auntie.

Hello, look at that thing.

It's more raw than my puss.

Just mash it up. That's how it's done.

Listen, I've had lots of raw stuff
in my mouth, but not this.

Don't think for one minute
I'm going to eat this.

The intermediate course will be
a piece of Fromage du Tête

otherwise known as brain paté.

The name, in fact, says it all.

It's a light paté made with pork brains.

I made the jelly myself,
using the knuckles and ears.

Where did you go shopping? Wuhan?

James, it's excellent. You've outdone
yourself once again. Wonderful.

I'm ordering pizza. Good day.

Or should I say, 'orrevar'.
It's au revoir.

Yo mama.
Ma mère.

Such fun.

People, we will have to come to
an understanding on how to proceed. I...

One moment, please.

Your mother's idea?
Elaborate lunch.

Pity you couldn't be there.
I know.

I miss you, too. But I cannot magic
away this crisis.

I understand, but we've barely
seen you these past few days.

Cabinet meeting. Boring as hell,
takes hours. But I can't change that.

Hey there, your mic's still open.

It'd be nice if you got to know Gabriella.
Yeah. Sure.

Hey there, people. I'm back.

Help me out, where did we leave off?

Hi, Mrs De Vries!

Mrs De Vries? Hi!

Marie-Claire?
How lovely to see you.

What are you doing here?

Daddy came to fetch me,
because of the lockdown.

Look, it's Marie-Claire.

Go say hi, like you used to.
Come on.

Go on now.

He's on his way.

It's been a long time.

I always thought
those two would stay together.

Marie-Claire is an ex?
The love of Lucas' life.

I think they were together
for three years.

I've never seen Lucas as happy
as he was then.

Three years is a long time.

No, it was true love.
They were inseparable. Very special.

How long have you two had a thing?

Eleven months. Almost a year.
Is that so?

Well, that's quite a short time, really.

I mean, how well do you really
know each other then?

So sweet.

'I really thought they'd stay together. '

Who is that girl even?
Marie-Claire here, Marie-Claire there.

'Oh, so you barely know each other,
really... ' Rubbish.

What was that last thing you said?

Wow.

Hey, you.

I asked James for some champagne.
Why?

Why?

Because we're going to tell them.

You still want to, don't you?

I can always ask Marie-Claire,
if you've changed your mind.

Honey, I can't wait to start
the rest of our lives.

We're going to have
such good times together.

What about your mum?
I don't know.

But this is what we want, right?

Does anyone know
what we're doing here?

I think Lucas has something to tell us.

I feel everything's not quite hunky-dory
between those two.

I'm happy to see you all here.
We have an announcement to make.

We all know these past few days
have been difficult.

Indeed. But Lucas, I understand.

Apparently it's very hard
to really come together.

I know, that's very hard.
You can't always be on the same page.

So we have something to tell you.

Gabriella and I
are planning to get married.

Married? What?

I didn't see that coming. What a surprise.

Wat a lovely surprise.
Congratulations, my boy.

Wait. I know what we're going to do.
I know this Turkish tailor.

I'm going to order a white dress.

I'll be the prettiest woman at the party.

No.

Effing bloody hell. No way.

Honey...
Don't you honey me.

When we married, I had to drop
my family name for "De Vries".

I have my limits, Erik-Jan.

I won't look on passively
while our son squanders his future.

Squanders his future?
That's what I said.

Seriously?

Mum, look what you've done.

Lucas, we're going to have plenty
good times with you in our family.

And not just at the wedding feast.

Every Christmas, Bar Mitzvahs,
Ramadams.

Come, give your favourite aunt
a big hug, bim dushi.

'Cause we are family now.

I'm not leaving now. I'm staying.
For ever and ever.

Forever.

Over my dead body.

Let the games begin.

It was a disaster.
That woman ruins everything.

Now, dushi...
No, really.

She thinks I'm not good enough for Lucas.
Not good enough?

Listen, we have this
saying in the Antilles.

If there is no enemy inside,
an outside enemy can do no harm.

So? Should I ignore her?
Pretend it's not true?

It's not about her. It's about you.
What do you want?

You'll encounter this kind of people
all your life.

The world is full of weeds.
Full of sumpiña.

You just need to focus on
that small plant of love that's growing.

I miss you, papi.
I miss you too, dushi.

These special circumstances are also
forcing the Home Secretary to stay home.

Mr De Vries, thank you
for coming on the show.

What do your days look like now?
Thank you for inviting me.

Everything's a bit different now.

There are more people in the house now
than before.

This means we have to respect
each other's pace and privacy.

Respect? My arse.

You value togetherness. Your party's
slogan is 'Together we're Strong'.

How does that play out...
It's just started.

We think it's important
to have our meals together

which gives us a chance to talk
and get to know one another.

So your most important insight
is to eat together?

Well, yes, as a matter of fact.
I can see your nose growing.

Take an interest in the other.
Get to know each other better.

That's something we can learn
from this crisis.

Of course, we're very different
from one another.

This miserable situation ensures...

Oh, no.
Doing it together.

We must move
these mountains together.

We must create an opening together.

We must part the seas, like Moses did.

We must use this time
to forge change, together.

Get that woman out of there.
What is she doing?

Like a cocktail you must shake well
to make sure it's perfect.

Oh, dear.
These two women.

I've opened my heart to them both,
Gabriella and Dujeska.

Hello, it's Judeska. How many times
do I have to tell you?

Judeska.

Liselot? Were you looking for me?

I have no time for this.

Sleep well? Seen the light?

What happened on live TV yesterday
defies description.

I told you, that woman's destroying
our family.

She's destroying our family?

You failed to congratulate
your own son.

Congratulate? With what?

That our name and reputation are ruined?

That I can no longer
show my face anywhere?

Listen to yourself.
You is all you think about.

No, you. All you think about is you.

You only invited those women
to win the black vote.

Don't you pretend
that you're better than me.

I'm not blinkered, you know.

I'm trying to broaden my horizon.
And so should you.

So you're not going to kick
those two women out?

No.

And neither are you.

We'll see about that.

Hey, Cheryl.
Hi, dushi.

I can't believe it.
Our little girl's getting married.

Tell her she can come to me for advice.
What? You?

Who are you kidding? Stop already.
You're four times divorced.

So? I'm the voice of experience.

Listen, the party's going to be great.

I've picked the theme. Unicorns.

Everything unicorns. Unicorn cake.
Unicorns on my dress.

I've even ordered one of those
unicorn things for on my head.

Little ponies. Can you imagine?

Little ponies? I've got two ponies here.

Those boys are still here.

I think I broke them.

Listen, I'm going to break something here.

That gardener? Pablo?
I'm going to break his stick.

You're looking for me, right?
What?

I know what you want.

Is your towel that tight
or are you just happy to see me?

Isn't it getting a bit too hot?

No worries. It's going
to get a lot hotter still.

Pablo.

The door's locked.

I have another door
that I can open wide.

Have you ever had hot sushi?

You have to blow on it. It's very hot.

Help!
Pablo.

Stay there. Help!

Help, help!
Somebody, help!

She grabbed my hands.

Then she climbed on top of me.
Oh, dear.

On my face. I couldn't breathe.

Why did you open that door, James?
I heard screams, M'lady.

You might have left her in there
a bit longer.

Then it got really dark.

And then I had to use my pinkie...

Oh, stop whining.

You had to do what with your pinkie?

So you like to lock people
in the sauna, do you?

I'm going to make you so itchy!

Listen, Erik-Jan. We also value diversity.
I mean, look at us.

Roderick likes horse-riding,
and I like cricket.

Jokes aside, adding a little colour
is fine. But don't exaggerate.

If you want to make a fool of
yourself, fine. But leave us out of it.

I warned you this would end badly.
Taking those people in is one thing.

But to allow them to appear on TV,
as a sign language interpreter?

If I'd known it would cause such commotion,
I never would have taken those women in.

This is the result of your actions.

If nothing changes, we will have to
wash our hands of you.

I will make sure those two
will cause no further trouble.

That's the least you can do.

Come on, guys. Van Amerongen has
a truckload of Chinese mouth masks.

And I have two black women
as part of my stable.

What do you have?
Two black women as part of my stable.

Sit down comfortably. Cross your legs.

Now stretch up.

Your chest is open, shoulders are wide.

Bring your hands down
in front of your heart.

Close your eyes.

Relax your brow.

Get onto your knees
in cat position.

And stretch out.

A nice, long stretch. Well done.

Knees below your hips.

Now lift your pelvis.

Walk to the end of the mat.

This puni is going to burn.

Let it burn.

Auntie?

You freaked me out. It's rude
to sneak up on people, you know.

You. You did this.

It's not my problem
if you don't wash down there.

Stop it. Go to your room.
I will speak with you later.

That's what I mean.
People don't wash their puni

and who gets the blame? Me.

Why is it so hard for you to behave
like a decent house guest?

You could try to be nice.

These people are our guests. How could you
think to lock them in the sauna?

Why do you keep riling her up?

You've been at it the whole time.
The tennis match. That lunch.

I'm marrying this man
and all you do is bitch fight.

Get a grip.

Can you imagine? She got mad at me.
Blamed me for everything.

And you never put a foot wrong.

Well, hardly ever.

Hey, you know what you should do?
Bake a cake for everyone.

In preparation for the wedding.

One of those cakes
that Grandma used to make.

All you had to do was taste that cake
and everything would be all right.

You're right. I'm going to bake a cake.

I'll make a Bolo di Cashupete. And what
was the other one she was crazy about?

Bolo Pretu. If you make that for Liselot,
she'll be your best friend.

Vexatious.

This is for the Bolo di Cashupete.
The primary wedding cake.

I'll need a ton of cashews.
At least two kilos.

Why would you put
two kilos of cashews in a cake?

Because it's called Bolo di Cashupete?
Cashew cake?

What do you want me to put in? Kiwis?
So vexatious.

Now turn on the radio.
The radio?

Do you know nothing
about Curaçao cooking?

We need rhythm.

You know when people take a bite
and start to dance

it's because the food is good
and it has rhythm.

So turn up the music. We're going to
dance and bake. Let's go.

What is this?

The Charleston. Music. Dancing.

You call this dancing?

Mucha, I was just about
to call an ambulance.

I thought you were having a stroke.

Out of my way, you. Vexatious.

Now this is music.
But I can't dance...

Listen. Your problem is you listen
to the words to much.

You should listen to the music.
Let the rhythm speak to you.

Hey, Dad. Gabriella and I are going
clay pigeon shooting. Want to come?

Not now. I need to finish this.

Just half an hour? To blow off steam?

I used to go hunting with my dad
when I was little.

Pull.

That was not bad.
Not bad isn't good enough.

Maybe that works in politics,
but not in the real world.

So you think politics are separate
from the real world?

You need to make contact.

If you want results,
you need to start at the bottom.

At the grassroots. From the ground up.

The grassroots. But some people
are just hard to reach.

Then you should take off your blinkers.

Pull.

Everyone's gone stark raving mad.

Hi, it's Liselot.

Yeah. I'd love to talk to you.
Do you have time tonight?

Wow, she can teach me
a thing or two.

You know how to put your finger
on the sore spot.

Watch out, Dad. She might well be
the next Dutch prime minister.

Sorry, guys.

Lodewijk, hi.

Sure, I have time.

'Van Amerongen has a truckload
of Chinese mouth masks. '

'And I have two black women
as part of my stable. '

I hear that the press
has already got hold of it.

So who leaked this? It has to be
someone from that cabinet meeting.

I don't know. Does it matter?
Yeah. So what now?

This is a very sensitive matter
for the Party Conference.

I think it's best to take some distance.
You had a good chance of winning.

And if you'd listened to me, we wouldn't
be having this conversation now.

I'll leave you the dignity to come out
with the news yourself.

It's clear: You will withdraw
your candidacy for the party leadership.

So it's already been decided?
I'm afraid so, ErikJan.

I'm afraid so.

What did you do to my kitchen,
you witch?

Can't you see? Test run for the wedding.
What a complete mess!

She's making out she's in charge.
But this is my kitchen.

She's made cashew cake. My favourite.
How sweet.

Yes, dushi. And next, I'll make
arepa di panpuna

pastechi, kala and Johnny cake.

I'm going to work my ass off for you
all day, in this kitchen.

I'm sure you'll be lacing everything
with rat poison.

Tell me which piece you want
and I'll add some, especially for you.

Auntie, please.

I'm calling the police
for attempted murder.

Go ahead, call the police. Do it.

Please call them.

Because I only need 30 seconds
to strangle you. Twice.

Why don't you hold your aunt in check?
And you your mum.

She's just trying to be nice.
Exactly.

You know what? I've had it with this.

I'm going to freshen up in my room.

I've had it with the lot of you.

So this is what you want to burden
yourself with for the rest of your life?

You're not starting again?

A dry sherry, M'lady?

Piss off. Leave me alone.

What are you doing?
Looking for a zoo.

I saw on Netflix that there's a place
where you can feed people to tigers

without being caught.
Teach her to mess with me.

I think it's really sweet that you went
out of your way to do this for us.

Congratulations. You're the only one.

I remember how much time
Mum would spend in the kitchen

to cook and bake for a wedding.

What do you think
she'd have thought of Lucas?

Skinny. That boy's a beanstalk.
He needs to eat more.

He looks like that mangy dog
of Opi Ronnie, Rataplan.

Auntie.
All right, all right.

Your mum would have hugged him
to pieces. You know what she was like.

She'd never have let him go.

I would love it if you would let us taste
everything you made, tonight.

No way. I've had it with these people.
They're getting on my nerves.

Do it for me. One night without a fight.

One night where everyone pretends
it's great that we're getting married?

So glad you could come, dear.
Of course.

You know, I don't know what it is,
but he just can't get rid of that girl.

She's only using him
to get away from Botswana.

What? Botswana?
But she speaks excellent Dutch...

All she wants is a Dutch passport.

As soon as she has it, she'll ditch Lucas.

Oh, that's terrible. Poor him.

He keeps telling me how upset he is
that the two of you broke up.

Really?

But... Is there anything I can do?

Yeah, well... You could show him
what he's missing.

Yeah.

And you should convince him
to abandon his plans.

Yeah.

If we don't save him,
he's headed for a life of misery.

Yeah.
And we don't want that.

Don't cry now. Everything'll be all right.

I'm going to freshen up now.
I'll see you in the orchard in a bit.

Yes, hello?

What do you mean, 'Who's this?'

Hello, who are you?
I mean, you're calling me. Vexatious.

Yes, this is Erik-Jan's phone.

But I'm not telling you who I am.
For all I know, you could be a streaker.

A streaker.

One of them guys
that flash their weewee at you.

Better you tell me your name.

Mark? Sure. Mark who?

Rutte?

Konjo, is your name Mark, or Rutte?
You're plenty vexatious.

What do you mean, 'You don't know
who you're talking to?'

Listen, let me tell you. You don't know
who you are talking to.

For all I care, you could be
the president of the country.

You are the president?

Really? Mark, why didn't you say so?

This is Judeska.
I'm a friend of the family.

I'm helping Erik-Jan with his cabinets.

Let me be your Michelle Obama.

I'll come up to that little turret of yours
to give you a solar eclipse.

An eclipse.

I'll be sitting on your face.

Lip to lip.

Best you bring a diving suit,
'cause you'll go swimming.

Erik-Jan?

Erik-Jan? You need to call back Mark.

Mark who?
My gynaecologist. Who do you think?

What's this? Is this your first wife?
No, that's Liselot.

Okay, 'cause otherwise they looked
very much alike. And that's no compliment.

That's when I was working
for the trade unions.

We met in Ghana.
She was doing aid work there.

Why do you white people keep thinking
you have to go to Arica

to save the people there?

How much did you get
for your so-called help?

2000 hectares?

It's more than thirty years ago.
So much has changed.

You're still sleeping downstairs?

You need to stop with
that push-over mentality of yours.

You're in politics, right?
You're a leader? Then lead.

My gran always said: A captain
worth his salt sails the red sea.

And what did your gran mean by that?

That you've got to do what you've got
to do, when you've got to do it.

I think they must have dropped you
as a baby. And not by accident.

I'm going upstairs, before that charitable
wife of yours throws out all my cakes.

I'm really trying. But those two
are constantly at each other's throats.

It's constantly 'us' versus 'you'.

Old people cannot handle change.

What if she's right?
What if I don't fit in in her world?

Dushi, you're smart and nice.

Anyone who doesn't want you
in their world

doesn't know what they're missing.

I don't know if I can make this work.

Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't
have been better off with a coloured boy.

Maybe the differences are bigger
than what we have in common.

Dushi, love knows no colour.

You know, you cannot choose
your in-laws.

They're part of the package,
whether you like it or not.

Understand?

I don't feel like tasting anything.

I understand. But let's just go see.

Marie-Claire.
Hey.

What are you doing here?
Your mother just...

Just bumped into her earlier.
It's nice to see Marie-Claire, right?

Sure.

Glad you're here.

So, tell me. What did you make us?

James and I tried our best.

We made Bolo di Cashupete,
Bolo di Coco and Bolo Pretu.

That is to say...
A black cake.

I see. In honour of Gabriella.
A black cake.

What's so funny?

What is she doing here?
Why?

Marie-Claire is allowed to be here.

Gabriella, why don't you have a slice
of black cake?

And find a black boyfriend to go
with it. That's what you want, right?

Where you eavesdropping
when I was talking to my dad?

So you won't even deny it?

You know what, Luc?
Screw you. I've had it.

I've had it with your mother.
With all this.

And I've had it with you.
Likewise, I'm sure.

Stop that.

Oh, dear.

What a shame, this.

Seems like the night is over.

All the trouble you went through.

So wonderful, those cakes.
What a shame.

Will you clear them away, James?

Would you like some tea, Marie-Claire?

Speak. Who sent you here?

It's so unfair how you're only using Lucas
to get a Dutch passport

so you won't have to go back
to Botswana.

Botswana? Are you dumb
or are you stupid?

We're from Curaçao.

Like it matters which African village
you're from exactly.

Lucas knows the truth.
Tonto, what truth?

There will be no wedding.
No wedding?

Listen. Tomorrow I have a photoshoot
for that unicorn invite.

Nothing's going to come between that.

It's already done.
Liselot prised them apart.

Now Lucas can find happiness
with one of his own kind.

Instead of some cannibal.

What did you say?

Cannibal...

Vexatious.

Nobody gets to take anything away
from Liselot.

What on earth is this?

This is all for you.

Why?

I will tolerate these women staying here
until the end of the lockdown.

But they must stay on their own half.
You're out of line.

I'm doing this for you.

I know how important
the party leadership is to you.

We owe them nothing.

The relationship is over.
What?

They've messed up our lives.

But if I must have them around the house for
another day to save your career, I will.

All for you.
Except we're doing it my way.

If you ask me,
everyone's gone mental here.

Oh, darling.

Are you all right?

I really thought she was the one.
Yes.

I'm just glad that you've finally
come to your senses.

It wasn't going anywhere.

I'm a mother.
I could see it from miles away.

So I thought I'd give things
a little push.

That's why I asked Marie-Claire over
last night.

Wait, what?
Did you do this on purpose?

Honey, you would have realised
sooner or later.

Please let that girl go.

If she goes, I go.
And I won't ever come back.

Lucas, please.
M'lady?

Red alert, in the stables.

Marie-Claire! What happened?

Surprise!

Look, the theme for the wedding.
A unicorn.

You painted Black Spirit white?

He likes it plenty.

Look at the head.
Inspired by John Williams.

No!

You...

No worries, you can get it off
with white spirit. I swear.

Can you imagine her wanting
to get angry at me?

Auntie, I don't want to hear it.
But she started it.

You're as bad as each other.
You're doing it on purpose.

There's not going to be a wedding.
We broke up.

I'm going to destroy you.

Screw the lot of you.

What the fuck?

Yoo-hoo.

No!

You want to shoot me?

Gabriella, stop. Don't go, please.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It was wrong.

I was wrong.

I wasn't eavesdropping.

But the door was open

and I heard part of the conversation
between you and your dad.

But it doesn't matter.

I love you.

You've always been the only one for me.

You know, what's the point?

This is the point.

Show your sour mug.

God almighty. So, who won?

No one.

Was this really all worth it?

Look at you two.

Mum, didn't Grandma act exactly the
same way when you wanted to marry Dad?

The whole family opposed it.

But you married him anyway,
because you loved him.

And I love Lucas.
I don't care what anyone thinks.

We're getting married.

With or without you.

And we'd love to do it here.

If we still can.

But something will have to change.

So when you're done playing

shall we make a start
by saying sorry to each other?

Sorry.
Yeah. What she said.

Auntie?

You're getting me all emotional.
Give me a hankie.

I'm sorry, too.

James, I need a band-aid.
I dislocated my fanny.

I'm sorry.
I should say sorry, too.

I went too far.
I should have stood up for you more.

No, no, dushi. Listen. I shouldn't
have meddled with everything.

Am I still banned
from attending the wedding?

It wouldn't be the same without you.

And who else could make us ko'i lechi?

I'll make you the best ko'i lechi,
I'll wear my prettiest dress.

The one that's cut so low that it gives you
a bladder infection each time you wear it.

Everyone'll be so jealous of me. I...

Sorry.

Judeska, you've learned from this:
What would you want?

We'll work it out between us.

Honey, come here.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.

I've been such a jerk.

No, not at all.

No, really. We both made mistakes.

I really went way too far.

I'm so embarrassed.

Never to late to learn.

Sons look for a partner
resembling their mother.

So they need a mum
they can be proud of.

I've been so short-sighted.

We're going to do things differently.

Ladies and gentlemen, the lockdown
has just been extended by four weeks.

And I realise that this is a
major challenge for many of you.

In my home, too,
it hasn't always been easy.

But good things have happened, too.

My son is getting married
and I'm proud of my new in-laws.

My daughter-in-law Gabriella.

And her aunt Judeska.

This crisis has also taught me
that I need to change direction.

Which is why I will resign
as Home Secretary and quit the party.

But I also have a positive message:
I am starting a new party.

A party where everyone's welcome

and diversity will
be our most powerful means

to build our country for the future.

Gabriella, will you be party leader
alongside me?

It would be my pleasure.

Hello? Why didn't you ask me?

I want to be in the cabinets.
As a state minster.

The Minister for Body Searches.

I have Prime Minister Mark Rutte
on the phone.

It's not for you.

Hello, bad boy.

What are you wearing?

Just your glasses?
Thank you.

What do you want to eat?

Former Home Secretary Erik-Jan de Vries
starting a new party

together with his daughter-in-law
Gabriella Constanzia

has had an enormous impact.

The polls indicate that
if we went to election now

his party could count on
at least eight seats in Parliament.

The political response has been varied.

Pablo?

Pablo?

Pablo? I have a surprise for you.
You're going to be plenty chuffed.

Pablo? Wake up.

Pablo? Good news.
I bring good news.

I'm staying for another four weeks.

Next to you, in your bed.

So whip out your garden hose.
You have some spraying to do.

Hey! Pablo!

Hey! Konjo! Listen!

Hey! Pablo!

Hello, come on out.
I swear, I'll...

Better work up an appetite.

Hey, Dad. How's the connection?
Can you see me?

We're about to start. Look.

I have a special place for you.
Here, in the front row.

Love you.

Hey, Cheryl. Hi.

As you can see, we went with
the unicorn theme. See the horn?

I'm wearing a unicorn dress.
A unicorn hair band.

And a unicorn horn string.

Here, look how pretty they are.

Hey, Dad. Do you want
to take the camera?

Sure.
Just press this button.

I know. Yes.

Look, we're all here...

Pablo?

Pablo? Come down and play!

Where are the rings? Who has them?
Pablo!

Yes. I do.

I do, too.

Use your tongue
or it's not a proper kiss.