Bombshell (1933) - full transcript

Lola Burns is at the top of the pile in Hollywood. But life ain't easy, what with her father and brother always hanging around for handouts, and devious studio publicity honcho Space Hanlon cooking up endless lurid newspaper stories. Makes a girl want to give up pictures.

Oh, what did you do that for?

Something kind of cute
was about to happen.

I know. But it's six o'clock.


Gee, what a business.

You might as well run a milk route.

Where's Mac? Isn't she up yet?

I'll get to her, Miss Burns.

Where is Summers with the orange juice?

His nice lukewarm orange juice
with seeds in it?

Oh I heard him
flushing around the kitchen.

Hey, I didn't give you that
for négligée. It's an evening wrap.

I know, Miss Lola,.

But the négligée what you give me got
all tore up the night before last.

Your day office your brutal
on your lingerie.

Just a minute.

Just a minute.

Can't you get up in time enough
to put on your uniform?

Don't scold me with your steam, woman.

I knows wheres the bodies buried.

Yes? Miss Mac, Miss Burns secretary,

Oh it's you, is it?

Yes I know it's six o'clock.

And I know she's due
on location at 7:30.

And I know she's to wear
the white dress without the brassiere.

And I know you'll always be just
a second assistant director.

Because you don't think
anybody else is

capable of thinking
for himself or herself.


Good morning, Summers.

How's your brother?

Brother, Miss Burns?

Sure. The one in San Quentin.

Are they gonna let him out?

But I only have
a married sister, Miss Burns.

Oh that's right. I was thinking
of the guy who was here last week.

Oh, yes. His name was Summers,
I believe.

I'm Winters.

Hmm. He was Summers. You are Winters.

Are butlers always in season?

I can't say, Miss.

Hey, this isn't orange juice!

No, Miss, it's sauerkraut juice.

Well, take it away.

It's like dipping your tongue in Lux.

I'm sorry, Miss,
but there weren't any oranges.

No oranges? This is California, man.

Tell Mrs. Crawford to come in here.

She's supposed order as well as
do the cooking for this troop.

Mrs. Crawford is not
here this morning, Miss.

Why not?

It seems her niece is… having a baby.

That's life for you.

The cook's relatives have babies.
And I have sauerkraut juice.

- Good morning, Miss Burns.
- Hello, sweetheart.

Is massage before or after?

Rub that in good, darling.

We're going
to use a darker makeup today. 28.

That cameraman must think
he's Rembrandt or someone.

Trying to tell me about skin texture
in yesterday's scenes.

Dear, I wish you'd bind your wave
when you go to bed.

Miss Burns, really?

Listen! One at a time!
Can't you see I'm making her up?

Well, this is important too.

Ouch! Will you please be careful?

I'm sorry, Miss Burns.

But every time,
he and I get in the same argument.

Look what you've done now!

Somebody please get me a towel!

Don't let that iron burn the bed!

Oh, that's terrible.

I don't care, Mac.

Gee whiz, with all the dough
I drag down every week,

I don't see why things
can't be run better.

Every time I...

Lola, I can only do
one thing at a time.

I really think you ought
to discharge Loretta.

She's becoming impossible.
And full of lip too.

- Oh, Loretta's all right.
- Good morning, daughter.

Pop, you old darling!
What are you doing up so early?

Are you going to settle down
and help Lola out?

I, uh...

Your career is always paramount
in my mind, daughter.

I... I...

That's the same shirt and tie
you had on yesterday.

Yes, daughter. The laundry...

The Laundry! Nothing.
You are ruthless.

You've been out all night.
And you're still boiled.

I've been in conference
with some racing men.

We've been discussing
methods of breeding.

Don't talk to me about
your methods of breeding.

I don't want to hear another word.

Where's the car? I gotta go to work.

I insisted that Jeffrey get some sleep.

We've been using him
a little hard lately.

Yeah I get it.

All right, Mac. Have him
bring around my roadster.

Your brother took the roadster
to Tijuana.

Tijuana? Say, who told him...

I sent Junior down there

to look over crop of fillies,
with the idea of a possible purchase.

I know what kind of fillies
he'll looked over.

All right. Have him bring
around the station wagon.

Miss Burns, the cook
took the station wagon.

That's great!

Now what am I supposed to go
to work in, a kiddie car?

I don't know why I go on
putting up with this?

I do all the work. And everybody
uses my automobiles but me.

And Pop is stewed.
And I get soaked in sauerkraut juice.

Miss. Carroll!

- How do you do?
- Hello. Remember me?

Carroll from Photoplay.
I have to have a story, Lola.

Of course.

Miss Carroll,
always glad to see the press.

I know it's pretty early.

But Space Hanlon said we could talk at
breakfast and on the way to location.

Your studio couldn't have a better
publicity head than Hanlon, Lola.

- He can always slip things in.
- He certainly can.

Summers... er. Winters,
show Miss Carroll into the music room.

I'll join you in a moment.

Ha! Space Hanlon always
slips things in, does he?

He won't give me a minute
for myself, that's what.

And all those lies
he's had printed about me.

Ever since I've been in this business.

"Listen, sweetheart.
You'd still be an extra..."

"if it wasn't for me and what
I know to feed the public."

I'll call a studio car, Lola.

Space Hanlon, that double-crossing...

My daughter, Miss Carroll is waiting.

A fine time to arrange an interview,
with a person not half awake.

- My daughter, don't...
- Don't start.

And now, Miss Carroll, what's it to be?

We can start in while we're waiting.

All right.
Let's start with your early life, Lola.

See if we can get a new slant on it, eh?

Let's see, uh.
Born in Illinois, wasn't it?

Yes, you see when mother died...

We had extensive acreage
in the southern part of the state.

I gambled in breeding
thoroughbreds and trotters.

Lola has always known and loved
animals ever since she was born.

I always told her that animals
were like human beings.

When did you first think
of entering pictures, Lola?

- Always, I guess.
- Yes, of course.

I always fostered Lola's interest
and ability in histrionics.

Perhaps I should've heeded
the call to the theater myself, but...

But I've been glad to be
just a sportsman, I guess.

But I've always listened to Lola recite.

Forced her to, in fact.

Watched her dictions, her postures,
you understand?

The studio car arrived
with this new script.

You'll have to get right over there.

Studio? What about location?

It's raining out in Riverside.
It's called off out there.

New scenes. New lines. Everything.

What is this? I don't recognize it.

Retakes on Red Dust.

The Hays office sent it.

And the picture's
got to open Monday in New York.

Come on. We have to hurry.

But I don't know these lines. I...

Gosh, that means different makeup.

And I have to have my hair
changed again. And...

I ask you, Miss Carroll.
As one lady to another...

Isn't that a load of clams?

It's a nine o'clock call on stage 7.
You'll just make it.

All right, let's go. Of all the things.

We will have to continue
this another time, Miss Carroll.

But I guess I know everything anyway.

Where's Loretta? Where's Barko?
Where's Blimpo?

Will you hurry up?
We're late for the studio now.

When the Marquis calls, tell him...
down, Blimpo, down!

When the Marquis calls,
tell him to come to the studio.

Down, Blimpo! Barko! Stop it.

Pop, you go to bed
and sleep it off, will you?

What are these scenes anyway?
I don't know anything.

Well here goes
for another day's work just beginning.

And I'm dead on my feet already.

What's the way out
of this squirrel cage?

Who knows? Who cares?

- Is Hanlon in?
- No. He isn't.

How nice you look, Miss Carroll.

Never mind that. Where's Space Hanlon?

Come on out of there!

Come on out!

I'll wait here,
if it takes me 100 years!

London? One minute please.

You big coward,
come out of that office?

Mr. Hanlon, London's calling.

Open up this door!

Mr. Hanlon, London's calling. London!

Tell them to call back.

But it's London!

I'm not going to go away.
You come out!

Listen, Alice.

I'm just sore about it as you are. I
don't know how it got in the papers.

Believe me, when I saw it,
I could've dropped dead!

Don't touch me!
Don't touch me, you double-crosser.

You gave it to the papers yourself!

Who, me?

How can you say that after all
I've done? Like a brother!


"Film star visits baby in hospital
and stays overnight."

What'll my husband say?

He won't know anything about it.
He's in London, isn't he?

Listen, Alice. Get me Harrigan!

Will you get me Harrigan?

After all these years, you think
I'd do a thing like that to you?

You make me feel like a scum.

No matter how much I want publicity,
there's a limit someplace.

I got Sunday's at...

- Mr. Harrigan.
- Yeah.

Now listen here, you shyster.
I'm getting sick and tired of this.

Did you read this morning's papers?

What kind of a legal department
are you anyway?

What do you let them
print stuff like that for?

I want you to start suing that
newspaper immediately for libel.

$100,000... $200,000...

You hear me? $250,000.

And I don't want any retraction.
I want blood!

Stop crying, honey. I'll have them
print an apology on the front page!

- With your picture.
- Mr. Hanlon, London's calling.

You know how I feel about you.

Why, I wouldn't hurt you, kid,
any more than I would my own mother.

You leave this whole thing to me.
I'll straighten it all out.

Thanks, Space. I have a big day.

All right, honey.

You go on back on the set.

They've been looking
all over the lot for you.

You just trust old Space.
He'll fix it up for you.

London's on the phone, Mr. Hanlon.

Why didn't you say so?

Listen, Elsie.

Get in there on my private phone
and call Schwartz at his home.

Tell him that
I just found out that Alice Cole

is gonna be over at the hospital
tonight wearing a veil.

And for him to take a cameraman along.
Hurry up!

I'm going to Pittsburgh in the morning.

And I just had to get your autograph.

Do you know me? I'm very social.

- Don't you recognize me?
- What?

I'm your husband.

Why did you go away
and leave the baby?

Oh, please go away.
The driver, go ahead!

You must come home with me, Elizabeth.

There's been two more babies
since you've left.

Please! My darling wife!

Frank, come here. Help!

Driver, go on!

I can prove it by the mole on her back.

Ask her. Ask her about the mole on it.

I haven't got a mole on my back.

Let me go! Let me go!

You'd have to cut off my arm
to keep me away from my wife!

Well, I'll find a way.

We're already on stage 7.
So snap to it, Lola, please.

All right, Broph. All right!

And had some coffee
on the set, will you?

- You know the new lines?
- I'll have them.

But don't think
I'm gonna get in that rain barrel

if the water is as cold
as it was last time.

A polar bear would've died in it.

It's heated, Lola. Honest!


I just seen Gillette about an
extension of your contract. He says...

- Don't bother me now, Ike.
- But the new contract?

I got a special Cadillac sports job
out in front, Miss Burns.

I thought perhaps you'd like to take
a look at it. It's slightly used...

I got three cars of my own now.
And they're all in use.

Here's that endowment policy,
Miss Burns.

Twenty year pay life
with health and action...

Hey, what do you fellows do,
sleep here?

But this is the one
that your father and I went over.

- Who is selling a policy? You or me?
- I know, Mac...

And that reminds me, I didn't get mine
for the insurance on the house. Come on.

Well well well. I see the bread lines
already started to form this morning.

Here's a couple of more vultures.

I've come to collect the skeletons,

That is if you've got
all the meat off it.

I heard you, Space Hanlon.
And I'm sorry.

But any conversation with you would be
just too much of a strain this morning.

And you don't need
to keep standing there.

Because there is absolutely no chance
of that door being unlocked.

Hello, Sugar.

Who put all the prune whip on your pan?

I feel a slight draft, Loretta.
But go ahead.

"What's the idea
of getting in that barrel?"

Hmm, wait a minute. Don't tell me.

Let me think.

One at a time, please! Don't crowd.
Step right up, folks.

In the next step, we have Lola Burns.

The girl who actually thinks
while thousands cheer.

Hey, Lola.

You get out of here
with your cheap wisecracks.

I wasn't in here in the first place.

You, fool!

Come on, Lola.

How about you and me ending
this cat-and-dog fight, huh?

Gee, I'd like to, Space.

Give him a break, Lola.

He's not a bad guy for a publicity man.

That's just it.
We used to have a lot of fun.

But ever since I began to
make a name for myself,

He's-been double-crossing me with
his rotten publicity. He's not...

He's seen to it that Lola Burns

is a family slogan
from Kokomo, Indiana to the Khyber Pass.

Strongmen take one look at your picture,

go home and kiss their wives
for the first time in 10 years.

You're international tonic.

You're a boon to re-population

in a world thinned out
by war and famine.

- You're a...
- That's all very funny.

But how do you think I enjoy reading

all that scandal
that hasn't an ounce of truth in it?

I told you, Sugar.

It isn't what you like to read.
It's what the public likes to read.

They see you in these Scarlet Letter
Lily of the Streets parts...

Well, I'm sick and tired
of playing unladylike parts.

And of your undignified publicity.

And I'm going to tell
Mr. Gillette about it.

Don't blame me. I'm only doing my job.

Hey, how about you and me going
to the Coconut Grove tonight?

It's collegiate night.
Or something like that.

I'll pickup a frat pin.
And we'll pretend we're 17 again.

What do you say?

I'm sorry, but I'm going
with someone else.


Well, gosh sakes, you don't
ask me till the last minute.

How was I to know?

Why don't you tell him
you've got to work?

Tell him you sprained your ankle.

Tell him you've got
klieg eyes or something.

I can't do that, Space.

Aw go ahead.

I'll break a story in the afternoon
edition just to prove it, huh?

See, that's just typical. Another lie!

- Who are you going with?
- A friend of mine.


- That Marquis, huh?
- Yes, if you have to know.

Aw, gee, Lola.

What's the idea of running
around with that rummage sale Romeo?

Did I insult Alice Cole when she had
you making calf's eyes at her?

Why don't you take her
with you tonight?

Alice Cole is now
a respectable married woman.

She hates my insides.

Well, Hugo happens to be
a charming gentleman.

Just because a guy
with an out-of-town accent

happens to have a dress suit with
a hair ribbon across his chest

you dames get a pedigree and start
reaching for the diamond tiara.

What's the next line, Loretta?

What are you going to do,
write him off your income tax?

Why don't you ask
Georgia Mansfield or Thelma Joyce

how much he mooched out of them?

Excuse the noise, Loretta.
We seem to be passing a stockyard.

Oh you.

Listen, Sugar.

I know I'm no prize
out of a Cracker Jacks box.

But at least I don't allow

a professional dame
to lead me around by the nose.

That's because somebody
forgot to put a ring in it.

Hi, Miss Lane. Back in Indochina again.

Hi, Lois.

Hey, where's Clark?
Isn't he working in this with me?

Clark's on 15 till noon.

We're gonna shoot your close-ups first.

- Who's directing me today?
- Jim Brogan.

No, Jim Brogan?
When he'd come back on the lot?

Does that give you any heartthrobs, huh?

Now wait a minute, Cupid.

Don't start sneaking around this set
with your bow and arrows because...

Broph. You remember!

That's what's the matter with me.
I've been hungry.


- You call me?
- Where's your pass, please?

Pass? I've never
needed to pass before.

New ruling, sir.

But I've come to see Miss Burns.

Did she leave the word then?

I am the Marquis de Hugo...

I know who you are. But you
see, it's a new ruling.

Let's not argue this here.

Call Miss Burns on the set
and explain the situation.

All right.

Hello? Yes, Frank.

What? Well, who said so?

Mr. Hanlon? Oh he did, did he?!

Well, you let them in right away!

I don't care. I said let him in!

I'll attend to Mr. Hanlon.

All right. Let him in!

Trying to keep my friends
out of the studio...

- Jim!
- Hiya, babe.

They just told me you'd come back
on the lot. Gee, you look swell.

So do you, Lola.

Sorry to hear about your divorce.

Don't be.
Maybe that's why I'm looking so good.

You just couldn't make it work,
could you?

No. But I don't blame her.

She was out of the business.
Couldn't get used to the long hours.

- Well, you know.
- Uh-huh.

I was a fool to look
at anybody but you, Lola.

You kind of stood me up,
didn't you, Jim?

I guess a girl's got
to lose her head once

just to get her back again for keeps.

You know, darling. Just seeing you again
makes me crazier than ever about you.

Cut, Jim. Cut.

Now, on the level, honey.
I mean it this time.

What do you say?

I say we go to work.

Oh, Hugo, darling. I'm so sorry.

Honest. I don't know how it happened.

It was very embarrassing.

To be stopped and questioned
by an ordinary porter.

I know, Hugo. Do you know Jim Brogan?

Yeah, we met once or twice.

Glad to know you.

He admitted he knew who I was.

And yet he wouldn't let me pass.

All right, clear the stage!

Give me all your lights on each!

Come on over and sit down.

Honest, it won't happen again, Hugo.

- You can see everything from there.
- Thank you.

I've got to fix my hair.

A little hotter on the roof, pal.
A little hotter on the roof.

All right, that's enough.


Sorry. I didn't know you were there.

Hugo, darling. Does it hurt?
He didn't mean to do it. Let me...

It's positively all right.

Places, please!

Hugo, dear. Would you like
a glass of water or some coffee?

Loretta, maybe...

Whenever Miss Burns is ready!

All right.

Now look, Lola.

You're in the barrel, see?

And Gable comes around there.
And when he comes out to here...

You watch my hand for the signal.

You start splashing the water
and laughing. And then...

Why, Jim. What's the matter?

Jim, now what are you mad about?

Listen. Will you kindly tell that
glorified barber to get off my set?

He's not a barber
He speaks French, Spanish, Italian...

I don't care if he speaks Eskimo.

I don't like him. Tell him to get off!

He's got royal blood in his veins.

I don't care if he's got
a royal flush in his kidneys!

- Tell him to scram!
- Jim!

I can't stand him, I tell you.
Tell him to get off!

You can't talk that way about Hugo!

They told me you were falling for
that gigolo. But I didn't believe it.

- Are you talking about me?
- Yes I'm talking about you!

Jim, stop it! Hugo!

Well, well. Good morning, everybody!

Hugo, Jim, stop it!

Get him away from me, Lola!

Children, daughter, what is this?

Here's old Colonel Starbottle.

What a morning's work
this is going to be!

This boob seems to infer that
I am unwelcome in this place.

James, James, my boy.

You mustn't quarrel with Hugo.
He's no...

I thought I threw that old lush
off my set for good a year ago.

As my daughter's business manager...

- Business Manager?
- I demand an apology!

I'd forgotten all about you.

Since when did you drop your buggy whip
and take up the reigns of finance?

You needn't speak of that so lightly.

- Sir, horses are coming back.
- Pop!

Sure they are. You'll be behind
every one of with a broom!

You can't talk to my father like that!
I won't allow it!

But, Lola, after all...

Who do you think you are?
Talking to a poor defenseless old man...

When I'm working I won't have my set
cluttered up with the lot of loafers.

See here! I'm her father.

- Who's I had? Whose round is this?
- You keep out of it!

Stay out of here! I don't bother
with your department, Hanlon.

Now wait a minute, Jim. Wait a minute.

Listen, I don't need you
to settle my arguments.

I know, but wait a minute.

Is this the old smooth kind
easy-going Brogan.

The one genius in Hollywood
who doesn't have any temperament?

Only the other day,
Gillette was saying to me,

"Thank heaven,
Jim Brogan's back on the lot."

I know but... did he really say that?

Certainly he said that. And a lot more.

Now How'd you like to have him
come popping in here right now.

And see you ranting around here
like any ordinary quicky director.

Why don't you get up there and
check on your set up.

I'll get rid of this fungi.

Thanks, Space. Hey...
What else did he say?

I'll give you the lowdown later.

I don't understand, old chap.

Just a little repartee. But it happens
to all creative sensitive people.

Marquis, you're just the man
that I want to see.

Yes, you do.

You try to kick him off the lot.
That's what you did.

Please, Lola!
That was all a ghastly mistake.

A thousand apologies, Marquis.

What I said was,

the minute you appeared on the lot,

I wanted you to report immediately
to my office.

That fool Frank got it all wrong.

Frank usually gets things
pretty straight.

Oh, Lola, please!

I just realized the Marquis is the one
man in 1000 to help me out of a hole.

You see, we're having a little trouble
getting stuff in European publications.

And I feel sure that
if the Marquis will give us

the benefit of his continental
training, I'd certainly appreciate...

Why I... why I...

You know, I work very hard, Marquis.

But believe it or not,
I've never never been out of the state.

Naturally, haven't got the pulse of the
European public as well as I might have.

However, on the other hand...

Oh, by the way, Mr. Burns...

Will you drop over to
Hurrells as soon as you can, please.

And have some new photographs taken.

I'm getting up an article
for you in the American sportsman.

Certainly, Space.

American sportsman, eh?
That Hanlon's a bright young fella.

At least he sees Hugo
as a man of intelligence after all.

Photographs? I'll do that just as
soon as you sign this check, daughter.

- $400?
- I want to wire it right away.

Who for?

Junior didn't explain. He...

Oh, I get it. Tijuana again.

They've been giving him
a sleigh ride on that roulette wheel.

Now, Lola, you mustn't be
too hard on your brother.

Not another nickel!

He's been supporting
every gambling joint on that border.

With his millionaire complex
and my money!

- But they're liable to hold him.
- Let them hold him.

Let them put him
to work on a rock pile.

I don't care. I'm through.

He's a liar. And a no-good. And a...

Oh, what the heck, Ma liked him.

Good evening, everybody.

This is Gus Arnheim,
speaking to you from the Coconut Grove.

I see quite a few notables
here this evening, folks.

Right here in front of us,
I see the beautiful Lola Burns.

The bombshell herself, folks.

And she's dancing
with the Marquis di Binelli di Pisa.

What a romantic couple they make.

- Good evening, Gus.
- Hello, Lola.

Oh, Miss Burns.

Miss Burns, please. Please, Miss Burns.

Please, Miss Burns.

Miss Burns,
where'd you get the lovely gown?

Everyone in our town is
just crazy about you.

Why, thank you.

Oh, the gentlemen.

Oh, who do you work for?

There he is.

I could dance with you forever,
Hugo, darling.

Sorry, Miss Burns.
I'll have to cut in.

I beg your pardon.

- Is the Marquis di Binelli di Pisa?
- I am but...

We're federal.
From the immigration office.

You'll have to come along.
The Commissioner wants to talk to you.

Hugo, what on earth?

Take your hands off me!

Don't get tough.
I haven't had my dinner yet.

What is the meaning of this?

How dare you come in here!

Hugo, what do they want?

You pulled it off on schedule all right.

It's a good thing you did. If you hadn't,
we'd be in a nice sweet jam.

Stick with me and you'll
scoop the town every time.

If this stays on the
front page tomorrow,

I send over another case.
Is Walker Black Label all right?

Perfect, Space.

That's all I want to know.

Come on, blow, will you?

I do not know what
you're talking about.

It ain't that much of the jigsaw puzzle.

Do you know what you're doing?

This is the way we make our living,
Miss Burns.

Give the Marquis his hat and coat.

What's going on here?

Space, you've got to do something.

They're arresting the Marquis.
And he hasn't done anything.

Boys boys.
You can't do a thing like that.

I'll answer for this gentleman.

He'll give the answers himself.

You can't pull a trick like that here.
This is a private party.

Uncle Sam can pull anything anywhere.


I tell you it's all a mistake.

We've got all the records, Marquis.

Oh, Space. Please!

What's the rap? What's he done?

Two years in this country over
his original passport limits.

It's about time we got around to him.

Oh, so that's it!

Listen, boys. I'm EJ Hanlon
of the Monarch Studios.

If any of you boys drop out
to the studio in your day off,

we can use you as extras
for a C-note apiece.

Nothing to do but stand around and
talk to the beautiful extra girls.

You might be the Secretary
of the Interior for all I know.

And we don't get no days off.

Where are you taking him?

To the county jail...

Until he can appear
before the Commissioner in the morning.

Jail? Oh, Space, they can't do that.

Unless he can put up $3000 cash.
That's the standard bail.

And where am I going to get
$3000 at this time of night?

That's your worry. Or Miss Burns'.

For your loud-mouth friend here.

Get in, please.

You two coppers haven't
heard the last of this.

There's gonna be a couple badges
without owners down there tomorrow.

Don't worry, Hugo.

I'll get the money tonight.
Honest, I will.

Now don't worry.
I'll find it some way.

That's about the nerviest...

I got a get $3000 right now!

Sugar I give it to you only...

Are you sure you didn't have
something to do with this?

- Honey, don't talk like that!
- You swear now?

You can cut out my appendix
without ether if I did.

Wasn't I planning to work with him
all week?

Listen, you're a little bit upset.

Let's drop back up and...

duck into a pint of pear rose
I've got in a cooler.

And have a couple of dances, huh?

While Hugo is sitting in jail?

What's the matter?
It's a nice clean jail.

- Brand-new. Modern plumbing...
- Oh, it's awful.

Get me a taxicab.

I got a go home and find Pop...
on account of I've got to get the money.

Oh listen, Sugar.

Why don't you come up. Have a couple
of dances. And recover from the shock?

I can't, Space.

- 812 North Linden.
- Okay.

You didn't need to come, Space.

You think I'd let you run
around alone at night.

Listen, Sugar.

You don't need to worry about Hugo.

I'll blow down there tomorrow.

And when I do I'll pull enough wire
to string another Atlantic cable.

If Hugo had only told me
about this in the first place,

I could have fixed it all up for him.

You know sometimes you're so rotten.
And sometimes so nice.

Yeah? Moody sort of a guy, huh?

Why don't you go see a psychiatrist
or whatever you call them?

So you can be nice all the time?


Listen, Sugar.

Extra! Read all about the
Marquis and Lola Burns! Extra!

Boy, come here. Boy!

Read all about the Marquis...

Boy, Give me a paper.

Quick work, wasn't it, Miss Burns.

Well, they gave it
quite a spread, didn't they?

If I wanted to spoil my hands,
I spread you all over my...

You think I had
something to do with it?

Who else could?

Poor Hugo was arrested
just two minutes ago.

And here it is.
Spread all over the front page!

Yeah but, Sugar. Modern journalism is
speeded up just like everything else.

Special open wire story goes
right in to the Linotype.

On the presses.
You see it in the newsreel.

Bam, out comes the edition!
All folded up.

Spread all over the city
by special cars.

Newsies starts selling
to the man on the street.

He reads the story... gets the dope...

exactly as if he been right on the spot
the moment it happened.

Stop this cabin and get out of here!

Oh, Sugar. You've got me all wrong.

You proved to me
what kind of a guy Hugo is.

Besides, he's your friend.

He's a charming cultured gentleman.

We need more men
like Hugo in this country.

We're all pioneers and backwoodsmen.

Listen, I think there ought
to be a quota for all Hugos.

Be careful, Lola!

Step on it, driver. I'm being annoyed!

Now listen, Lola, Sugar.

You wouldn't let me cut your appendix
out without ether, would you?

I got it on you there.

I had mine out
long before my voice changed.

Charge it, please.

All right, Miss Burns.


My loving wife!

Oh, what kind of a rib is this?

Rib? Rib! That's it!

I'm Adam. You're Eve.
You came from one of my ribs.

- I came from Peoria.
- Oh, please.

Oh. Go away. Go away.

Say, baby. We oughta get going.

We don't wanna get caught around here.

Aw, she will get back for hours.

And anyway, if she doesn't
like it, she can...


Some of my friends just dropped
in for a little drink.

Where's Pop?
I gonna see him right away.

He hasn't been here all evening.

What's the matter,
did his gang drink up all the bourbon?

Just because I'm in your room was
no reason for you to insult my friends.

Listen. I got to find Pop and get $3000.

Is there that much
in my checking account?

Since I'm not trusted
in your financial affairs, I can't say...

Well okay. But I know that you're
taking pretty good care of my wardrobe.

Barko. Blimpo.

Loretta, you know they have beds
of their own in the sun porch.

Yes, ma'am. But things is going on
out there the last time I looked.

Come on, trio. Let's try it again.
Come on.

Come on.


Oh, hello, baby.

What's the matter?

I got I have $3000 right away.

Three thousand dollars?

I can't find Pops anyplace.

I'll see you that he pays it
back to you in the morning.

What for? Well, I... I...

I couldn't call on anybody but you, Jim.

My brother's in trouble in Tijuana.

I've got to send it to him tonight.

Oh sure, a check will do.

Although, Jim. I'll send Loretta for it
in a cab.

Thanks. I'm in an awful hurry, Jim.

- Loretta, call a cab.
- Yes' um.


Lola really means this?

Precisely, sir.
And I'm with her to the hilt.

Poor harassed little child.

I insisted that she write
this letter immediately.

Just a minute.

The Burns company isn't
working today, is it?

No. Sir.

Tell Mr. Hanlon to come in right away.

This is disgraceful, Gillette.

Hugo comes from a noble family...

As for Lola, on my side,

she's descended from everything
back of Edward the 9th.

You mean the eighth, don't you?
There was no ninth.

Yes, of course, a slip of the tongue
in my excitement.

Morning, AC. How are you, Pops?

Well, we got everything in
but your picture, Pops.

But you know, the funny papers
don't come out till Sunday.

Remember our stand, Gillette.

And with you, young man,
I wouldn't waste my breath on you.

That's right, Pops. Save it.
Natural gas. A little scared.

Why you... I... eesh...

Honest, AC, how are you?

Doesn't it look pretty?

AP sent out over 1000 words.
And more to come.

But that's not so pretty.

I don't want to interfere, Space.

But when you meddle in her personal
affairs like this, that's another matter.

Listen, AC.
Binelli is no more her personal affair

than one of those sheepdogs.

That's a swell item about Burns.
She's great copy because

she don't know what she wants.

And she wants something
different every day.

And that's a story.

She wants your job there.

Sure it wasn't anything
personal about it on your part?

I do not get you, AC.

- No jealousy connected with it?
- Jealousy?

Listen, AC.
I'll smooth this whole thing out.

For that I'm grateful little pirate.

She wants my job, does she?

After I got the whole country

talking about her
over their coffee cups this morning.?

No actress got a break like that

since the Dark Lady of the Sun
sang mammy songs.

Imagine that little Peoria cornflower
trying to give me the runaround. Ha!

But, Space...

Don't worry, AC.

Where I kick her,
the camera will never pick up the scars.

Oh, is uh...

- Miss Burns in?
- Yes, sir.

What's the matter, Mr. Hanlon?
Are you ill, sir?

It's, uh...

It's my appendicitis.

I'm sorry, sir.

Miss Burns is in the drawing room.

Thank you.

Hugo, dear. Don't say things like that.

But, Hugo. I don't understand.

Your lawyer?

Yes. My lawyer.

You might be interested to know

that Mr. Brogan's check
was canceled to the bank.

- Or did you know?
- Hugo, dear.

I just want you to know that
you are a cheap, little pebble.

All right,
if that's the way you feel about it.

You big patent leather peanut vendor!

I seem to be getting rid of a lot
of people around here today.

What are you doing here?

I just... I just came to say goodbye.

You win, Lola.

Gillette fired me.

I guess you can get
another job all right.

- People seem to think you're clever.
- No.

Once you're fired by Monarch,

it sort of puts a tab on you
in this business.

All right.

But uh... what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I've been wanting to get away
for a long time anyway.

China maybe, Australia,
Tahiti, the South Seas.

I guess that's as good a place
as any to end things up.

And be a failure.

You mean like Gable did in Susan Lennox

with all those sailors and women?

Yes, I guess it won't be
so hard to forget.

Will you shake hands, Lola, before...

What you mean, Space Hanlon?

If you're clever enough to think up
all those things about me,

you've got better sense than
to do a thing like that.

You know... that's a funny thing... I...

Before Gillette telephoned me
this morning,

I decided I'd gone too far with you.

And I ought to change the type of stuff.

- You mean give me nice publicity?
- Sure.

I got the first interviewer
outside right now.

I thought you might give her
a couple of hours,

since you're not working today.

She's uh...
from the Ladies Home Companion.

Gee, that sounds nice, Space.

Strictly women's stuff, you understand.

Photographs too.

You know, a story about you
in your own home.

Just your natural simple self.

You mean, with me cooking?
And my favorite recipes?

Yeah, and walking in your little garden.
And reading all your books.

And giving advice to young girls.
And everything.

Well, you can see her
if you want to, Lola.

I just did it as my last official act.

Do you mind... do you mind
if I write now and then?

Last official act?
We'll see about that.

Wait a minute, Lola.
What are you going to do?

Gillette could have at least
discussed the matter with me.

We all lose our temper sometimes.

Now will walk, I don't
want you to do that.

You're a big star.
And it just makes yourself look foolish.

I'll do whatever I...

Hello, Irene? This is Lola Burns.
Is Mr. Gillette...?

Well, when he comes in,

tell him not to pay any attention
to that letter I sent him this morning.

It was a joke.

Yes, that's right. Goodbye.

You go to Tahiti?

Why, you might get leprosy or something.

Gosh, Lola, thanks.
I don't know just what to say.

I guess I'm kind of sh
choked up or something.

Shall I send in Mrs. Titcomb?

You were right about Hugo.

Any man who would say the things
he said to me over the phone!

He threatened to sue me!

You find your true friends
amidst adversity, Lola.

Jim Brogan helped me.

I called him up
in the middle of the night.

And he sent down the bail money. $3000.

Without asking any questions
or anything.

Well, why not?

I imagine that bluebird

would just love to get you
under a three grand obligation to him.

Jim Brogan did that
out of pure friendship.

Any time Jim Brogan does anything
out of pure friendship for a dame

I'll call the undertaker. He's dead!

Jim Brogan is a fine man.
And besides, he's a genius.

Will you stop telling me
all that you know about him?

Get out of here!

Aw Sugar. What you see in that guy?

I see as much in him
as you see in Alice Cole!

That's all over.

Besides you wouldn't even know it

until you come busting into
people's office without knocking.

Get out!

Sure, I'll get out. I've got work to do.

I don't lay down on my job.

And furthermore, if you think I'm...

Over a little further, Miss Burns.

- Like this?
- Oh, that's fine.

Now hold it.… Still… Thank you.

That was sweet. Totally sweet.

Hmm, that smells good.
I just love baked potatoes, don't you?

That's my last plate, Miss Titcomb.

I just hate to go. But I think
I have everything, don't you?

Oh, do stay and have luncheon,
Miss Titcomb.

No, dear, I must dash off
and start putting down the words.

They're just itching
at the tips of my pinkies.

Such a dear little nest you have here.

It is cozy.

I imagine with your work, as fascinating
and inspiring as it may be,

you don't have much time to enjoy
your own fireside, do you?

No, our lives are dedicated
to our public, Miss Titcomb.

But tell me, dear. You're a woman.

You're the sweet unspoiled child
I knew you were.

Don't you ever, in the midst of
the grueling pace of your career,

Doesn't there ever come a longing for...
for the right of all womanhood?


Let's see mean that, uh...?

I mean, don't you ever find yourself
listening for the patter of little feet?


Oh, yes, Mrs. Titcomb.


The call of motherhood is
so strong in some women.

The call of fatherhood in men too.

Sometimes I think that was what killed
Mr. Titcomb.

Oh, well, we miss all bear the cross
that's given us, I always say.

Goodbye, my dear.

Oh, don't let that studio
work you too hard now.

Goodbye, Mrs. Titcomb.

"Au revoir," as the French say.


Yes, miss.

- Have you ever had a baby?
- No, miss.

I never had anything
but my married sister.

Your hat, sir?

I won't stay here long enough
to take it off.

Jim, it's you.

Sure. I just dropped in
on the way to work

to tell you you can't
make a sucker out of me.

Why, Jim...

I read the papers too, you know.

That barber of yours can stay
in the can, as far as I'm concerned.

And I called up and
canceled that check too.

I only lied to you because

I knew you wouldn't do any thing
if I told you who was for.

You see, I was trying to help
somebody whom I thought was a friend.

When the main, thought was a friend?

He called me up
and abused me frightfully.

He said I did it
purposefully for publicity.

Sure, that's fine.

Didn't I tell you that guy
was a no-good immigrant?

It's a closed chapter in my life.

Besides, an American
must be the father of my child.

Well, for...

Hey, what's the matter with you?

You're an American, aren't you, Jim?

Well, I don't know,
that's what they told me.

Jim, I'm serious.

Why don't we get married, like we
should've done in the first place?


And have lots of little babies.

Say, what's got into you?

What's the idea
of this fancy dress costume?

Jim, did you ever feel
the call of fatherhood?

Hey, wait a minute.

I mean to create things.

Life. To keep the world going on. To...


Like the trees and the little birds
and... There!

Like Fanny there.


Yes, the big one.

I call her Fanny
on account of her fantail.

But the man at the bird store said
that she was going to lay some eggs.

Isn't that sweet?


Why don't you go upstairs and lie down?

Maybe that's the reason I've been
so upset and miserable, Jim.

Deep down in every girl's heart,

there's a desire
for the right of all womanhood.

Beside her fireplace,
with her husband and children around.

Say, listen. You can't raise a family
and make five pictures a year.

Oh, look, Lola.

You're just in a mood. And you're
playing a scene with yourself.

I'd like to have a camera turning on
you right now. You'd be a sensation.

Holy smoke.

I got a story conference at 12 o'clock.

But I'll be back just as
soon as we're through.

Because I've heard enough to know
that it's gonna be Lola and Jim again.

Aw, honey.

You just think you want a baby,
that's all.

Why don't you call up
some orphan asylum?

Tell them to send you one over
on a 30 day free trial.

Winters? Winters?

It kind of gets you inside, doesn't it?

I guess you sort of decided,
eh, Miss Burns?

Oh, he's beautiful.

You're right next to me.
And you're gonna stay there.

Do you think his hair will be
any lighter when he grows up?

That's hard to tell.

Wouldn't it be nice if he were a blonde?

Then people'd think he was really mine.

Yes that would be nice...
if you were ever married.

You know where you're going?
You're going home with Lola.

And I'm gonna get you
a big blue bunny with pink eyes, yes I am.

Before anything can be
decided, Miss Burns,

two of our committee members will
have to call on you at your home.

Really? Why?

Well, were rather strict
where we place these children.

Could they come today
anytime this afternoon?

Well, I'll see.

Guy, where have you been
all my life, hmm?

Now listen, Joe.

We know, lady, but this is important!

Call me back.

Boys, boys, where is your etiquette?

Is it true Lola Burns
is gonna have a baby?

We can't...

Ha ha Ha. Wow. Why... Why don't you
change your brand of narcotics?

Is it true, Space?
Every paper in town got the tip.

Hospitals, doctors, everything.

You can't...

Ho ho. Why don't you grow up?

You got your tongues hanging
out over some loony rumor.

Where are you going?

I'm going over to her house and
get a signed statement of denial.

With her own lily white hands.

Okay. We'll go over
and have a look at her ourselves.

Are you nuts or something?

After last night's headline, she'd
shoot the first reporter that she saw.

Well, listen.

Don't you know that Lola Burns
can't have a baby?

No. Why?

It's not in her contract.


Hey, Pop. Mac.

Come look what I got here!

Everybody come here.

Now look out, Blimpo, down.


Look out. Winters, take the dogs.

Don't let them get my things.

Daughter, Miss Mac's just been
telling me your plans to adopt a thing...

Pop, look,
it's got blue elephants on it.


Look out, Barko.

Four dollars for a...

I don't approve, daughter.

The added responsibility...

Look at the little booties. Funny?

And the little flannel jackets I got.
Aren't they sweet?

And the teddy bear.

Let's go upstairs, everybody.

I thought we'd turn the guest
room into the nursery.

And will move the furniture out now.

So we can put
his little crib and table in there.

My daughter,
you can't be serious about this.

The added expense. It's...

Wait till you see him, Pop.
He's the sweetest thing.

I bet you won't take
another drink for a month.

Where's Miss Burns?

She's up in her room, sir.

Oh, Mr. Hanlon, sir.

About your appendix?
Now when I had mine out...

A fine time to talk about operations.

- Say, Lola.
- Yeah?

I never sent for you.

No, but what's all this...

this tornado about you're gonna kick
a bad pimento around the house, huh?

You would try to be funny about it.

Oh, do you mean...

You mean it's true? A baby?


And this is one thing
I don't need any help from you on.

Aw, gee, you poor kid.

No wonder you've been so upset lately.

And I've been as rotten as...

Why all the sympathy?

Aw, Lola, honey, baby, girl.

You don't have to keep
a stiff upper lip with me.

You know...

Hey, listen.

What's his name?

That's all I want to know.

Don't tell me it's that...

Don't be silly.
I don't even know his name yet.

You don't know his name...?

You mean you...

You know...

Well, holy smoke.
When you gonna find out?

If it's any of your business,

as soon as I adopt the baby.
And get a good name to suit him.


So you're going to adopt a baby?

Well, I'm not gonna kidnap one.

For a minute there,

you had me thinking you were
going in for independent production.

I don't care to discuss it further.


You can't adopt a baby.

As if you or anyone else could stop me.

Yeah, but that isn't your line.

The fans don't want to see the It girl
surrounded by an aura of motherhood.

Leaning over a cradle.

Sterilizing bottles.

I dubbed you the Hollywood bombshell.
And that's the way they like you.

Men. Scrapes. Dazzling clothes.

A gorgeous pinwheel personality.

Not patting babies on the back
to bring up bubbles.

I thought you were going
to change that type of publicity.

I'm gonna change... well...
That isn't what I mean.

I mean your work.

Long hours.
You'll never see it half the time.

Nurses will be bringing it up.

A lot of other people in this business
have happy, healthy babies.

Oh, don't...

Yes, Winters?

The Fairfax home for...

The two ladies from the committee
will be here at four o'clock.


So that's the reason for sweet and
simple little automobile duster.

You'll serve refreshments, Winters.

Cocktails, miss?

Certainly not. We'll have tea
and take it on the sun porch.

Oh, Winters,
show Mr. Hanlon to the door.

Okay, baby, you win.

But I tell you one thing.

This home with your family is

about as fine a place to bring up
the baby as an alligator farm.

You stay out of this, Space Hanlon.

I'm the only one who has
anything to do with it.

Don't try to do too much.

Just remember to leave an extra order
for the milk man in the morning.

Is this 814 Linden?

- Yeah yeah.
- I'm from the telephone company.

You might not know it but there's something
the matter with your telephone. Where is it?

The phone? There.

I spoke on it just now. Work good.

That's probably what happened to it.
You confused it.

Hello, Monarch. This is Hanlon talking.

Get me Jerry Beyers, publicity

If he's talking to anyone else,
bust in on him. Mmm-hmm.

The telephone is a wonderful invention.

Hello, Jerry? This is Space talking.
Now listen. And listen fast.

What's the name
of that shyster lawyer Binelli's got?

Randolph. Ben Randolph.

He called here just five minutes ago.

Okay I'm calling him next.
Now get this.

Tell those reporters in my office

to meet me
on the corner of the Burns block

as fast as their very closed veins
can get them there.



If this show comes off,
I'm going down in history.

With Barnum.

She makes a large salary.

We should easily be able to get...


Who wants him?

Oh yeah? Well, who are you?

Well I'm just a friend
that doesn't like to see

a gentleman like the Marquis
get kicked around.

If you're gonna sue, you better
lam out to her house right now.

Because she's planning to leave for New
York and Europe

on the five o'clock train.




How do you do?

I am Mrs Ward. This is Miss Talley.

We've come to discuss the adoption.

How do you do, my dear?

Why, you're just a girl.

What you come out to the sun porch?

We can talk there and have tea.

Tea is not necessary, Miss Burns.
But of course if it's ready.

From everything I heard, I thought
you were a much older woman.

Well, I do play rather experienced
characters on the screen.

Yes. I've only seen you in one of them.

Rather warm weather for California,
isn't it?

Nothing to what it is in the East,
I am sure.

You must understand, dear.

That we're only here

because we must consider
the placing of a child very carefully.

Oh, yes.

Frankly, Miss Burns. The committee
is a little dubious in your case.

After all, you have figured
in the newspapers in a not so, uh...

This morning's headlines
were not too, uh...

Miss Ward.

I'd only known the gentleman
you mean a very short time.

A merely social friendship,
you might say.

In trying to help him, I found out...
well... I never want to see him again.

Will you forgive me
if I don't discuss it?

Certainly, my dear.

Just when did you decide
to adopt a child, Miss Burns?


I'm going to be honest with you.
It was just this morning.

Maybe it was just a whim then.

I'm funny like that.

But gosh, Mrs. Ward. When I held
that little fella in my arms...

And knew that he didn't have a home.

And that I could give him one.

So they wouldn't have to grow up
like the rest of those poor kiddies.

And to love him to death
for the rest of his life.

And be so proud of him when he grows up.

It just seemed to me that having a baby
was the only worthwhile thing in life.

And now...

As for your immediate family,
is there anyone besides your father?

Yes, my brother. That's all.

I'm so sorry he is in here.
He's away on business.


Your brother's just returned, miss.

Why, uh, oh yes...

He's putting his car in the garage.

Oh, I must run out and meet him.
Will you excuse me?

Well, of course. Certainly.

Can't go in there.

Gimme that fix.

Why you good for nothing...

Now there's no use
getting excited, Lola.

Junior. Junior.

Yes, honey boy, C.O.D.

Who are you? Where did you come from?

Oh, you're Burns, aren't you?

Your little brother

ran across me crying my eyes out
down in San Diego.

It's awful lonesome down there
when the fleet's in Honolulu.

Oh, bro, please!

This is little Nellie.
She's a nice little girl.

She'd be a good bet for pictures.

I want to introduce her to Gillette.

You can't come in here now,
either of you.

I'm stealing home...

Hey, I got some nice people.
Some ladies in there.

Ladies? I love the ladies.
And ladies love me!

- Take him upstairs the back way!
- Come, Junior.

Gimme some of that dough.
Gimme some of that dough.

Come, Junior.

A little rest will do you good.

You keep him upstairs.

You stay up there too.

I'll explain everything later.

You mustn't mind her.
She's a little upset.

We're all very hospitable here.

You old cutie!

I'm so sorry.

But my brother asked to be excused.

He's completely worn out by his trip.

Oh, poor boy.

Really, Mrs. Ward.

Not a 100th of the stories
they print about me are true.

It's what the publicity man
at the studio thinks is good publicity.

But I told him this morning
I wouldn't stand it any longer.

And you're quite right, my dear.

I'm just my natural simple self.

With my dogs and my books
and my fireside.

Hey, Lola!

Where are you, baby!

I took the afternoon off.

What do you say to tie you to
the shaker of a cocktail.?

- Oh.
- Why, it's uncle.

- Darling, where is Abby?
- What are you...?

This is my Uncle Jim.

Mr. James Logan.
Mrs. Ward and Miss Talley.

He always comes in that way.

He's such a joker.

You big meanie,
why didn't you bring auntie with you?

- What the...?
- Now none of your excuses, uncle.

You know how I wanted to see auntie.

What you mean by coming in here
shooting off your face like that for?

Well I...

Who are those dowagers in there?

They are two ladies
from the foundling home.

How do you think I'm ever
going to adopt that little baby

when you come in here
broadcasting like a sailor?

Now, listen, Lola,. You're not
really serious about that, are you?


Oh, he's beautiful. I saw him today.

He's got the cutest little button nose.
And the tiniest little mouth.

So those three sheepdogs and that
brother of yours are not enough, huh?

You don't understand, Jim.

Oh, now listen, Lola.

If you're really that serious,
let's get married.

Oh, no, Jim! No.

Oh, you changed your mind
since this morning. What's the matter?

Oh, it's different now.

It's gone beyond anything fleshy.

- This little baby...
- For the love of...

Lola, listen to me.

I think if we let him rest a while.

Yeah, sure. I want to look
this joint over anyway.

I have a small gaming room
in the basement.

I'm staying out of basements.
I was born in one.


Along this wall, we have
a few of our ancestral portraits.

Is that the aunt, do you suppose?

- Just a minute, boys.
- How about it? Where is she?

Listen, you Navajos.
I told you there was nothing to it.

She laughed in my face.
Won't even discuss it.

Looks like the laughs are on you.
He drives for old lady Ward.

She's in there with another dame
talking to Lola about adopting a kid.

Oh, that.

What's the great news value
about anybody adopting a kid?

With Miss Burns, it's worth a column.

Maybe it's a role she has farmed out
for a while to cover up.

Say, why don't you take
the mud out of your...

Hey, look who's here!

Hey, Marquis?

What you know about a baby?

How about a statement?

Yeah, what about American jails?

Answer nothing, Marquis.

There will be a signed story later.

You look like
you're headed somewhere, Hugo.

I'm headed for Miss Burns
with my lawyer.

I shall then call upon Mr. Brogan.

- And later, I shall come to see you.
- Oh.

Listen, Marquis.

Brogan's in there,
saying goodbye to Lola.

You don't want to bother them now.

Two birds with one stone.

Listen, you mugs. Get it on this!
This is a real yarn.

You got enough perch
in that birdcage of yours?

- Yeah.
- Well, go on, you Comanches.

This is Custer's last stand.

There you are!
Were you going to run away with him?

How dare you break into my house!

My lawyer has some information
that might interest you.

You get out of here immediately!

I thought you were sealed up for good.

I won't contaminate myself much longer.

I just want to inform you

that I'm filing suit
for defamation of character.

I've been annoyed
with your kisser long enough.

Jim, stop it!

Brogan, they'll cost you $5000.

It's worth ten!

You wouldn't do this in your house.

Hey Joe, get them out in the light,
will you?

Here, lady. Here.

What's happening? James!

My boy. Hugo!

This is outrageous!

It's pure vandalism!

I won't stand for this!

Well, I'm getting sober, aren't you?

I call you out for a duel!

We'll do it in the hospital!

Hey, Hugo!

This is medieval! It's medieval!

Hugo, don't!

I don't know these people.
Really I'm sorry I...

Look out!

Look out!

Get something on Fanny!

Bird dog, go away!

Loretta, get the dog!

Water, quick!

Loretta, water! Fanny!

They'll stop in a minute. I...

I gotta get some water.


Oh, dear!

Where's the fight? Where's the fight?

I'm Lola Burns' brother.

Did you all start this?

I don't blame you, girls.

Not enough action.

Oh, Loretta!

Hurry up!

Stop it! Stop!

Stop it, I tell you, Jim. Don't!

You had enough?

I've given my ultimatum!

We'll see you in court, Mr. Brogan.


This is
the most disgraceful disturbance I've...

Oh, Pop. Don't get so excited.

Remember your heart.

You're liable to have the DTs again.

I'm perfectly under control.


Boys, never...

Where is Mrs. Ward and Miss...?

All those reporters... you did this!
You, you...

Sugar, I tried to keep them out.

And that Marquis brought
them right in with him.

Space, please tell them not
to print anything. Please!

I'll do my best, Lola.

Where is Mrs. Ward and Miss Talley,

- The ladies, miss?
- Yes.

Oh, they left very hurriedly.

Oh, where?

Oh, Pop!

I uh...I uh...I uh...I uh...

You swallowed Fanny.

Oh, the ladies!

Oh, boy! What a story!

I've got to get to a telephone!

Now, listen, you illiterates.

Play this up big and we'll be
on the front page for a month.

She's got a fat chance
of adopting a kid now.

Why should she? You think I want

my bombshell
turned into a rubber nipple?

Now get this, you Seminoles.
Get this in your lead.

"Two lovers brawl in Burns home."

You know, jealousy angle.
Primitive stuff. Stone Age.

Two savages
fighting over a gorgeous girl.

Mad with desire!

Use some of the lines
from those pulp novels

you've all been writing
for a long time.

- Now look...
- Miss Burns, how about a statement?

I guess Mr. Hanlon can give you
all the filth you want!

Taking it big?

Oh, gosh, don't take it
on the chin like that, Lola.

You know that was just a follow-up
on that Marquis story.

Right on time too.

Now they'll never let me have a baby.

All, come on.

That's just something you wanted
this week.

You'll forget all about it next week.

You'll want another... another sheepdog.

Or... I got it... another Marquis.

You never held
a baby in your arms, did you?

A little baby that grabs at you.

That somebody didn't want,
and left in a basket someplace.

Oh, gosh, Sugar. I...

I didn't know it meant
that much to you. Honest.

Oh, it was so cute and soft.

He smelled so sweet.

A little soft spot on top
of his head that hadn't closed up yet.

You had to be careful of.

Aw, I'm sorry.

I'd acted entirely differently
if I had known.

Come on.

Aw, don't.

You make me feel like a worm.

You know, I'm...

You know, I...

I'm more than just like you, Lola.

Wait a moment, Sugar, please.

Oh, leave me alone.

I don't know what I'm doing
or what I'm saying.

Now now, darling. Don't get upset.

Just leave everything to me.

Oh, shut up!

I've left everything to you long enough.

After all I've done
for my little girl.

Lola, you better get upstairs.

Are they whipping you down, sister?

Get away from me, all of you!

You're nothing but a pack of leeches.

- Leeches?
- Yes, leeches!

At least he was right in one thing.

I don't know how I ever expected
to bring a baby in here.

With an old fool for his grandfather
that's half-drunk all the time.

After the way I worked
to handle your affairs!

What about my affairs? Where are they?

Why aren't my bills paid?
Where is my money go?

I never see any of it.

- Lola, you're excited.
- So what are you mewing about?

Don't think I don't know
about you and your stealing.

And the cuts you get from the stores.

Listen, sis.

And you, who hasn't had a job
here named for three years.

And bringing her in here!

Like it was
a hotel for traveling salesman.

I've only stood it because
it's the only home and family I've got.

But I'm getting sick of it
you understand?

Only Loretta and the dog
ever do a single thing for me.

All the rest of you are just
out for what you can get!

And I'm getting pretty tired of being
a golden goose or whatever you call it.

Attagirl, Sugar.

Don't "attagirl" me!

I never want to see you again
as long as I breathe.

You're worse than all the rest of them!

- Yeah, but Lola...
- Stone Age stuff!

Mad with desire! Lovers brawl!

Is that the way you prove
you more really care for me?

Treating me like a strip act
in a burlesque show.

A glamorous bombshell, eh?

A glorified chump,
that's what I've been.

Well, I'm through! Do you understand?

With the business! With everybody!

You can get another It girl, a But girl.

Or How, When and Where girl.

I'm clearing out!

And you can all stay here.

And live halfway bombed.

Get somebody else to pull the applecart.

I'm going where ladies and gentlemen
hang their hats.

And get some peace and quiet.

My daughter!

And if any of you try to interfere
with me, I'll...

I'll complain to the authorities!

- Oh, but...
- Now just a...

Well, as I was telling you...

I don't want to be told anything.

She's gone and she's got to be found!

New York sold this picture
for release on the 15th.

And if we don't finish it...

by the end of the week,
the company breaks faith

with exhibitors
and loses a lot of dough.

But a contract's a contract.
She can't leave...

you holding the bag with $750,000
of a useless negative.

I know all that, AC.

And I don't blame you. But don't worry.

She can't get very far
without being spotted.

There are 110 million people
that know that face.

And know that figure.

But incognito what if she's...

I'd know her in a diver's helmet.

Put Flaherty on here.

But if you knew she was upset,
why didn't you stay with her?

My son and I had to attend
to a breeders convention last night.

Be quiet! What?

No one knows at headquarters.

Are you sure you made
every effort to find her?

Every beat cop in the state
has been tipped off.

That watching all the docks. Railroads.
The comfort stations.

From here to Seattle.

It's been over 24 hours
since she disappeared.

She ought to been
in one of those places in all that time.

- Telephone, Mr. Hanlon.
- Oh.

Hello? Yep. Hanlon talking.

If Lola think she's not going to
pay me the rest of my commission...

You speak of money when
my only child has disappeared?

Only child?
What do you think I am, a chipmunk?

- Tune off, will you?
- Yeah.

She is? When? Yeah? YEAH?

Okay. Boy, I'll see that you
get thanked proper for this.

- Have they found her?
- Yes.

You leave everything to me, AC.

This is a delicate filet mignon.

Too many cooks
will just make hash out of it.

But I have a right to know!

I'll call you just as soon as I'm hot.

Didn't I bring her back to you before?

That little leopard can change
her spots on me and get away with it.

You leave everything to
Space Frank Buck Hanlon.

I'll bring her back alive.

And no scars.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Hanlon's the name. Monarch.
Did you get my wire?

Yes, Mr. Hanlon.
You must've driven all night.

Do you want breakfast?

No thanks, I had it on the way down.

- Your bungalow's right in back, sir.
- Okay.

Thank you.

- Good morning, Miss Burns.
- Morning. Do you know if my horse...

Well, Lola. Of all people.
Fancy meeting you here.

I might've known.

Well, it's no use to even
unpack your luggage, Space.

You can go right back
and tell Gillette that I'm through.

Through forever. Do you understand?

You're just chasing a wild goose.

Well, looking at those pants,
it's a temptation.

Now, listen.

I'm chasing nothing but leisure myself.

Gillette fired me
for good and all this time.

And no if's about it.

And you've come right here from
China and the South Seas?

It's the first stop.

What a coincidence that I was here too.

Wait a minute.

You're not the only one
who knows about Desert Springs.

Besides, the desert is the best place
I know of to get dramatically drunk.

I've got two suitcases there..
Full of high tone tonics.

They're going to make me forget
I ever saw the inside of the studio.

The need for Tahiti and a blue lagoon.

Chasing those brown-skinned
babies through the bamboo bushes.

You know is much as I'd like to,

I wouldn't even believe it if
I'd heard you'd been eaten by a shark.

Boy, take those bags
to my bungalow, will you?

Yes sir.

Breakfast, sir? Right this way.

What'll it be, sir?

- Just toast and coffee.
- Yes, sir.

Hiya, Lola.

They just insist
on throwing us together, don't they?

Say, the Marquis and Brogan certainly
broke into the headlines here.

Boy, what a story.

Every Napoleon has his Waterloo.

"Marquis sues Brogan..."

I don't care to hear anything about it.

Especially those columns and columns
of lies about my disappearance.

Nothing much about you in here at all.

There isn't?

No, you're supposed to be at home.
Recovering from the shock.

I thought of that.

You know I don't blame you
for liking it down here.

A lot of culture in this place.

I feel like a gentleman myself already.

I'm afraid that's the nearest
you'll ever get to one.

Say, Gillette's gonna have
an awful lot of trouble

casting Alice in Wonderland
now that you're gone.

As if Gillette ever thought of me
in connection with Alice in Wonderland.

There is the item right there.

I released it myself. On his own memo.

You were to do it next.

He finally got wised up
to the kind of parts you ought to play.

It's too late now.

It's a swell part though.

I hear that Alice Cole was gonna do it.

Just because her name
is Alice I suppose.

Oh no no no.

She's the perfect Janet Gaynor type.
Sweep and untouchable.

That Empress of drama couldn't
possibly conceive Alice's part.

On account of she doesn't
have a bit of whimsy in her.

Imagine her sitting in that pumpkin
with those white mice.

What pumpkin?

I don't expect you to know anything
as lovely and gentle as that story.

The pumpkin drawn by the six white mice
that Alice went to the ball in.

That wasn't Alice. That was Cinderella.

- It was Alice.
- It was Cinderella.

- Alice!
- Cinderella! Didn't you...

Miss Burns, your horse is here.

Don't keep the horse waiting.

Will you please see that
my maid's informed immediately?

- Yes, Miss Burns. Yes, miss?
- And waiter.

All said a different table at luncheon.

Yes, Miss Burns.

- Waiter.
- Sir?

Where do they usually ride around here?

They generally ride
out Warm Springs way, sir.

Oh, Miss Lola!


Can I stop for a minute?

All right.

Come on. Blimpo. Barko.

We had to drive back pretty soon
anyway because

I think I'm gonna get
all sunburnt out here.

Oh, isn't it beautiful and quiet here?

- What's the matter?
- That's just Blimpo.

Come away from there, boy.

That ain't no tree. That's a cactus.

Eww.. Oh.

I found you, my darling wife!

You can't escape me like this.

- Help, Loretta! Help!
- I love you! I will follow you...

- To the end of the earth.
- Help!

- Please!
- Arggh!

- Help me!
- I love you.

What's going on here?

That's not your wife. She's mine.

I think he'll not come back.

Did he hurt you?

He's just some crazy man
who's been chasing me around.

Hey, thank you so much.

Not at all.

There seem to be a lot of odd people
in this part of the country.

Allow me. I'm Gifford Middleton, Boston.

How... how do you do?

Perhaps I'd better ride
with you a little way, huh?

That would be awfully nice of you
if you would.

It'd be a very great pleasure.

A queer place, California.

Insane chaps running about the desert
and all that.

It's rather nerve-racking.

Not as bad as Hollywood though.

Ever been up there?

Why, I uh...

I stayed there about a week.

Then that movie crowd
began to get under my skin.

Dreadful people.

Don't you like the movies?

Oh, when I was a kid.

- You couldn't drag me into one now.
- Oh.

By the way, you didn't
tell me what your name is.

It's Lola Burns.

That's a beautiful name.. Very musical.

Didn't you ever hear it before?

I can't say I have.

But here riding along as we are
in the early morning,

it seems to me
I've known you a long time.

Do you mind my saying that?

I... I think it's nice.

I'm down at the Desert Inn
for a couple days.

Father and mother are going to join me.

And then we're off
for a trip around the world.

Oh, that's what I'm
going to do someday.

See all of those things.
And go all over the place.

People need change, don't you think?

They certainly do.

Are... are you in business?

Oh, just looking after the estate now.

Father is quite alone.

And then... well, I...
write a little verse now and then.

I've had a couple volumes published.

- Poetry, really?
- Mmm-hmm.

I'm sure I've seen you somewhere.

Did you ever ride the Aiken Hunt?

No, I... uh... no.

I must've seen you
sculptured on a steed.

You're like Diana
riding a Macedonian stallion.

You're some slim lovely Amazon
riding proudly in her captor's wake.

Or perhaps you're just
the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

Do you mind my saying
these things to you?

Oh, no, I...

No, I...

I... I love it.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. What?

Well, listen, AC.

You just sit tight.
And I'll have her back in no time.

Yes, she felt pretty hard for that
Alice in Wonderland gag this morning.

No, sir.
I haven't seen her since then.

Okay. I'll keep you posted.

Isn't the moonlight beautiful?

Today and tonight
will live forever in my heart.

Oh, it has been wonderful.

I'll lie awake all night
on the pillow of this memory.

But you hardly know me.

I've known you in every ripple
of moonlight I've ever seen.

In every symphony I've ever heard.

In every perfume I've never smelt.

Gifford, that's lovely.

Your hair? Your hair
is like a field of silver daisies.

I'd like to run barefoot
through your hair.

Gifford, I...

You... you mustn't, Gifford.

Lola, my dearest.

Your mouth is like
a gardenia open to the sun.

- Your lips...
- Hi, Lola!

How about
a little game of hot hand, huh?

Don't speak to him. He's drunk.

Oh, introduce me.

We'll all go in my little shack here
and gargle a little vodka.

Your presence is uncalled for.

Oh, pardon me.

I'll keep running around the block
until my number is flashed.

I'm sorry, Gifford.

Who is it? I mean...
he seems to know your name.

Well I may just as well tell you now.

He's the publicity man
in the studio I work for.

Studio? I...

Lola Burns is a movie star.

Everybody seems to know that but you.


I didn't mean to hurt you, Gifford.

I won't even think of it.

And I'll never think
of it again either.

That's why I'm down here.
I've run away from all of it.

It was a life I was forced into when
I was too young to know any better.

But I'm through with it all now.

Poor tired little flower.

Does... does it make
any difference, Gifford?

You're just an orchid that
dropped and bloomed in a swamp.

I'm going to take you away
from all that sham and cheapness.

I'm going to transplant you.

We'll be married, dear heart.
And go together to Utopia.

You mean around the world?

Around the universe to the Moon!

I've put the ring of Saturn
on your finger.

Well sleep on Venus.

And the Milky Way shall be our cover.


Not even Norma Shearer or Helen Hayes

in their nicest pictures
were ever spoken to like that.

My adorable one.

This... this is my bungalow.

Lola, may I...?

No, we mustn't spoil this.

Mother and father
will be here tomorrow, dear.

You shall meet them.

And they will know you and love you
as much as I adore you.

I better go. Good night.

Good night.

Is that you, Miss Lola?

Yes, Loretta.

But don't talk to me, please.

Listen, Lola.
I just thought that perhaps...

Oh, don't get sore.

I just wanted to talk to you.
I'm lonely.

I don't care to be
annoyed by a drunkard.

Say, who is this adagio dancer?

He's a little bit upstage, isn't he?

His name happens to be
Gifford Middleton.

Does that mean anything to you?

Wait a minute. You don't...

You don't mean
one of the Middletons of Boston?


And neither he nor I are interested
in swilling liquor with you.


He's gone a little bit nuts
about you, hasn't he?

A gentleman, Mr. Hanlon,
doesn't go nuts about anything.

Hair? What's all this about your hair
being like a field of daisies?

And him running barefoot through it
or something?

Can't you find any better way
to pass your time

than spying on matters
that don't concern you?

He looks like an athlete.

I wouldn't want him
putting his foot on my scalp.

Get out of here
or I'll call the night watchman!

Do you mean to tell me that...

that you fallen for all this guff?

I've been treated like a lady
for the first time in my life.

Don't kid yourself.

He's got ideas
just like all the rest of them.

He doesn't even think
of things like that.

Now wait a minute, Lola.

Do you mean to tell me you're
really serious about this guy?

He's asked me to marry him.
Do you understand?

I'm going to meet
his mother and father tomorrow.

By the time you're lying in
some gutter where you belong,

I'll be Mrs. Gifford Middleton.

Living in peace and quiet among
people who understand me.

And if you want to put that
in the paper,

you got my full permission to do so.

Mother said they'd be out here
having tea.

I'm so nervous.
Do you think they'll really like me?

How can they help it, darling?

- Oh, there they are.
- Where? Oh.

Wouldn't you two like to park here?
There's plenty of room.

Mother, this is she.

How do you do?

This is the greatest pleasure
of my life, Mrs. Middleton.

- And my father, dearest.
- How do you do?

I'm trying to see which one of you two
Gifford takes after.

We like to think of him
as resembling both of us.

Why, that's natural, isn't it?

Gifford told us that your father
and brother are in California.

Yes, father and brother
are in business here.



Yes. Father's really more
of a retired sportsman.

But he's still interested
in the transportation business.

Of course, when Gifford told us
about you this morning.

We were naturally very much surprised.

Oh, yes, yes.

A mother hates to lose her boy.

We can all live together.
I'm used to that.

I don't understand.

I mean my family's always lived with me.

Of course it's one of the first things.

We must meet your family before we...

We're a little zealous
about the Middleton stock.

Carrying on of the name.

I'm afraid that is something
that was born in us.

Miss Burns' father and brother
are in the lobby.

You mean here?

Splendid. Send them out here.

What a fortunate coincidence.

We can now discuss
the whole matter together.

No, wait. I'll go get them.

- Shall I...?
- No, Gifford. I'll be right back.

Daughter! Daughter!

What a nightmare!

Leaving us this way
with bitterness in your heart.

And no money.

But how did you find out
I was down here?

And why didn't you go to my hotel?

Well, a guy phoned us this morning.

He wouldn't leave his name.

So we took a chance on anything.
Didn't we, Pop?

Gillette is up in arms.

You've a contract.

He said you won't be able to work
in another studio in Hollywood.

I'm happy to announce I'll never have
to work in another studio again.

On account of I'm going to be married.

- Married?
- Who to?

He's Gifford Middleton from
a fine old Boston family.

He and his mother and father are out
there. They want to meet you so please...

But, Lola, marriage is serious business.

You... are you sure you...

Surer than I've been sure
of anything in my life.

Now, Pop. Please be nice.
And don't make any breaks.

You know you can be a gentleman
when you want to be.


And don't tell any of your jokes,

Because the Middletons are
very conservative people.

Now, come on.

Monied people I suppose.

Naturally, Pop. They're very refined.

I'll be delighted.

This is my father and my brother,
Mr. and Mrs. Middleton.

- It's a great pleasure.
- Quite so.

- Madame is an honor.
- How do you do?

- Hiya.
- And this is Gifford.

My boy. My boy.

- How do you do, sir?
- How are ya?

A thoroughbred.

I can see that fine head.
Eyes wide apart.

So you're taking the only jewel
in my crown, eh?

Well, my boy I don't...

Father, why don't you sit down?

I hear... here.

I presume this was as much
a surprise for you as it was for me.

- Yes.
- Or more.

I guess we oldsters can't keep
the pace, eh, Mrs. Middleton?

Things move faster than when
you and your husband got together.

Pop came down here
the minute he heard about it.

I knew a Burns at Harvard.

George Burns. Class of 98.
Any relation?

Uh... er... no.

That was the New England branch
of the family.

Great college, Harvard.

My tutor used to say to me when
we were going through Europe...

Pop, won't you have some tea?

Maybe the folks would like
a little dramola?

Pop you got something
on the saddle, haven't you?

Yeah, how about a little libation?

No, I thank you.

I don't suppose madame-am would...?


Because that's just father's way.

Gifford, my boy?

Gifford never touches alcohol.


You don't use it, huh?


You know, Giffie. You know I like you.

And when I like a fella, I like him.
It comes straight from the shoulder.

You know you're getting
a great piece of goods in Sis.

She's a corker.
She's all woman flat on the table.

Miss Burns, can I have your autograph?

Oh, no. Please. Miss Burns
is through with all that.

Please, Miss Burns. I'm leaving today.

Oh, just this once, Gifford. Please.

All right.

Thanks, Miss Burns.
It's for our Lola Burns Club at home.

There you are, dear.

Oh, honey, look.

The Lola Burns Club?

What a forward child.

What on earth did she
want your autograph for?

Gifford, didn't you tell them?

Not yet. I...

Tell them? What?

That I've been in pictures.

That... that movie star?

Not the Lola Burns that we've
been reading about in the...

Yes, that's right.
But you see I can explain all of it.

have you read the papers recently?

I haven't seen a paper since
I've been here. Why?

Lyndon, I'm feeling so very faint.

- Ah, dear.
- Please take me to my room.

Pardon me. Pardon me.

Mrs. Middleton, please...

You'll excuse me, I'm sure.

- But Mrs. Middleton...
- Lola, let me handle this.

But you've got to make her realize...

There you go to your room
and wait for me to phone.

I'll smooth everything over.

I know father and mother
better than you do.

- Please make them understand.
- Certainly, darling.

Something we said?

No, you didn't mean anything, Pop.

Come on.
Let's go back to my hotel and wait.

Gifford was right.
He can handle everything.

Yes, certainly, daughter.

Listen, Lola.

I saw Gifford give you
the high and mighty chill over there.

If there is anything I can do, I...

You know, I was little tight last night.

If you're really in love with this guy,
I'd be only...

Stop! Never speak to me again!

Gifford didn't say whether that little
difficulty had been all worked out.

No. He just said
to come over right away.

Oh, here it is. 92.

I'm telling you, Mr. and Mrs.
Middleton, that's the way it is...

Mrs. Middleton,
don't believe a word he says.

I most assuredly don't.

You see?

You see what it is when you come up
against decent respectable people?

Now wait a minute. You don't get it.

I'm on your side.

I've been trying to tell them
that all the publicity was my fault.

Of course, I don't agree with
you about your boyfriend here.

But I don't see the percentage
in your taking it on the chin

if it's going to interfere
with your happiness.

Reputable newspapers
can't be hoaxed as easily as all that.

And where there's smoke, there's fire.

Oh, but it's all true, Mrs. Middleton.

He was discharged for it.
Weren't you, Space?

Why, sure.
Don't you see, Mr. and Mrs. Middleton?

The girl must be okay to have
a termite like myself,

trying to bore holes in her character.

And still be
the idol of 110 million people.

A public character.

All you have to do is explain you were
responsible for all those stories.

If it's pictures that are worrying you,
Mrs. Middleton, I'm out of them.

It isn't only pictures.

The Middleton name has to be considered.

Our blood line dates back
to Bunker Hill.

I'll have you know, sir,

that one of my ancestors

stood with Christopher Columbus

on the poop deck of the Mayflower!

Gifford, what do you say?

What can I say?

You... you mean...?

I think it best to forget
the whole thing, don't you?

Are you forgetting all those
beautiful things you said to me?

"Lovers brawl in Lola Burns' home."

I guess that sort of line suits you.

I'm afraid I've been rather a chump.

You mean you're going to stand by
your father and mother?

Certainly I have always done

I've done very well so far
in abiding by their wishes.

Gifford, you see, is a Middleton.

Gifford's a sap!
That's what Gifford is.

I give him away
with a strain of horseradish.

I wouldn't be caught dead
with him in a duck boat.

- Please!
- And if you're a lady,

and they're gentleman,
I'm Amy Fibber McCutmore on a raft.

You can take your Bostons.
And your Bunker Hills.

And your bloodlines.
And stuff a codfish with them!

And then you know what you can do
with the codfish!

- Come on, Pop.
- Ahem!

Come, daughter. Get in the car.

We're well rid of scum like that.

Say, Sis. Should I go back
and bust them in the bugle?

Oh, Bro. Pop.
Please leave me alone for a minute.

Gee, Sugar, I'm sorry. Really I am.

Oh, Space.

Thanks... thanks for standing up for me.

What the heck? I'm just trying
to make them see daylight, that's all.

They can live in a tomb for the
rest of their lives for all I care.

Imagine that dopie baked bean

wanted to put his feet in my hair!

Oh, well.

Everything would've been all right

if your old man and brother
hadn't showed up.

After all, they're a little thick.

What's the matter with Pops and Junior?

They didn't do anything.
They're just natural ordinary people.

That's all.

Well, I guess
it's really pictures, Lola.

It kinda puts a tag on you
with society and all that.

What's wrong with pictures?

It's perfectly honest work, isn't it?

It's more work
than those clinkers ever did.

Is it any disgrace entertaining people?

Making them laugh and making them cry?

Not like I'm crying now
but try to get some fun out of it.

Oh, well.
You're through with pictures anyway.

And there's a lot more people
just as good as the Middleton's

who are a little bit
more broad-minded.

I don't want to know
any more people like them.

Are you going to do with yourself?

I don't know, Space.

I'm so miserable.

I bet old man Gillette's full of grief.

And he's got it coming to him too.

After the way he mismanaged you.

I never had anything personal
against Mr. Gillette.

He was always lovely to me.

I bet those stockholders
will have plenty against him

when they look at that loss
on your unfinished picture.

Aw, he was a gyp anyway.

Mr. Gillette is a very nice man.

And it isn't his fault that I...

What do you care? It's not your funeral.

Let him burn your fan mail.

They can't burn my fan mail.

These people are my friends.

Why, they sent me presents.

And tell me all their troubles.

The fans will pick on
somebody else to write to.

Even Alice Cole.

I'll bet they'll be forming Alice Cole
clubs in Hindustan this time next year.

What's up? Why the hurry?

Nobody's gonna burn my fan mail.

Nobody's gonna blame Mr. Gillette
for something he didn't do.

Get in. We're gonna pack up.
And get outta here!

But daughter, where are we going?

Back to the studio.

All right, you Ransacks!

It worked like a Tiffany watch.

The little lady has gone back
on the roller coaster.

And screaming happily
on all the turns.

Here's a final payment.

And you're my favorite
character actors for all time.

Thank you. Rather undignified.
Of course.

And we wouldn't have considered it
if we hadn't had a rotten season.

Yeah, I know.

Here you are, Joe. Great work.

I couldn't have written
better dialogue myself.

Listen. Not a word
about this performance.

I'll never get a job in pictures.

Just between
the little old quartet here.

What we really want, Mr. Hanlon,
is a chance at pictures.

It's a cinch. You're all set.

I'll leave word tomorrow. Ben Berand.
Our casting director.

And you'll all be working in a week.

I can't understand why Lewis Stone
gets all these parts.

I've always been with compared
with Alice Brady.

Yes, yes, I know.

Everybody thought I was Jackie Cooper.

Until Greta Garbo
took me on her lap one day.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

And then he says: "why, you little..."

Never mind that, Loretta.
That's tomorrow's.

I know everything for today.

Hey, Greasepaint. She about ready?
The cars are coming up.

Oh, they're hurrying, Broph.

We're on the back lot this morning.

Gee, it's great to see you back, Lola.

It's marvelous to be back, Broph.

Everybody's been so sweet to me.

Did you see the flowers from Gillette?

Everyone is so thoughtful.

- OWW!
- Sorry, dear. Just hurrying.

I'm working here as long
as you're here, Lola.

When you quit, Broph joins the gypsies.

- Mac, hey, Mac.
- Yes, Silver?

Did you call Desert Springs?

Yes but they said Mr. Hanlon
checked out last night.

Oh, gee.

- Say, Monty?
- Yeah.

Where does the boat sail from to Tahiti?

We took an old tub from San Pedro
when we did White Shadows down there.

- Why?
- Oh, nothing.

The car is here, Lola. Let's go.

I'm through.

- Okay.
- I'm ready.

Loretta, get my hat on account
of I wear it in the scene.

Yes, ma'am.

Well, daughter...

Lola, before you go, the new contracts...

I have
a neat little sports job out there...

- I've been going over this...
- Sis, why can't I have a roadster?

Mac, try calling up the steamship line
at San Pedro, will you?

Monty tells me the boat
sails there to Tahiti.

Maybe Space's name is
on the passenger list.

I can't let them go off like this,
without seeing him.

I've just got to...

Space, you're here!

Well, I'll be darned.

What... what is it, Space?

Would you really want me
to go to Tahiti?

Well, I...

I just wanted to say goodbye.

Do you want to say it now?

- Space?
- What?

I don't know. I...

Gee, I never thought we'd come to this.

- What?
- This.

I knew I should hate
this cussed contract.

I tell you we can't dress
in those dressing rooms.

Even on our last Orpheum tour
we were treated better than this.


I just finished doing idiotic acting
for this company.

Okay, Mrs., you can have these
dressing rooms right up here.

And paint three stars on the door.

Frankie, who are those people in there?

I don't know, Miss Burns.

Three legit hams. Just come from
playing haylofts in the corn belt.

They get upstage the minute
they get in the studio.

The front office is already using them
in the new Barrymore picture.


You know them? Do you...?

Lola, honey.

What's wrong, daughter?

You dirty double-crossing...

Lola, we're two minutes over already.

I'm coming.

And never speak to me again!

Daughter, daughter...

Listen, Lola, baby girl.
Wait just a minute, will you?



Listen, Sugar. Stop it.
Please, I love you.

Wait till I get in there
and you can put them all down.

Oh, did the little baby
hurt her little hand?


Aw, that's a girl.

I found you, my loving wife.

Oh, hello, Mr. Hanlon?

I didn't know was you. How am I doing?

Oh! You big...

It was all publicity!

You dirty double-crossing...

I'll have you fired!

Will you wait a minute?

Argh, get out!