Bob's New Suit (2011) - full transcript

[glass breaking]

Do clothes make the man?

I used to think so until I met my destiny.

Here I am at the beginning of this tale.

Over here.

This way.

Yes, that's right.

The suit.

Italian. Of course.

But a prisoner on a hanger. Longing to be liberated.

I confess that I was sewn together in China from



fabric made in India.

I am worldly.

But don't expect too much depth from me -- after all,

I'm a suit.

This is Bob Goodlow.

When he runs, he wears synthetic fabrics that whisk

perspiration away from his skin.

Bob runs everyday but has no idea where he's really going.

Bob lives with his girlfriend Jenny in Marina del Ray,

a neighborhood of Los Angeles, California

After an early morning run, Bob sometimes crawls into

bed for a snooze.

Jenny has little money to spend on clothes but in her case,

the clothes don't make her -- she makes them.



But then look at her -- bellisima!

One morning Bob makes a decision that will

improve his wardrobe by bringing me into his life.

Pssst!

Come here.

Hello.

Let's get married.

It's too early for this...

I mean it.

I'll make you happy.

I'll take care of you.

Oh honey, you already make me happy

And I can take care of myself.

What do I have to do to convince you?

What do I have to do?

Nothing.

Of course, I'll marry you.

Really?

Really.

-Really? -Really!

Wow, baby.

Hey, hey, hey...

I have to get to work. I have to get to work.

I have Betsy at nine.

We're five hundred under budget this month.

We just decided to get married and you're worried about money?

-Oh God... -I'm a realist.

What can I say...

That's why you love me.

Buster Goodlow, Bob's father,

has been married to his wife Polly for decades.

He wears clothes Polly buys for him at the Costco and Penny's.

He wears them until they fall apart.

Buster and Polly live in the San Fernando Valley.

Buster used to be an aerospace worker

but he was down-sized three years ago.

His pension does not even cover their expenses.

He has congestive heart failure.

Everything Polly wears is bought on sale

-- mostly from the Target or the Macy's.

She likes colorful items, too bright for my taste,

but she is very spirited.

Buster has two great pleasures in life:

a garden he has been nurturing for 20 years in the same hat...

...and the books he has been reading his whole life.

Buster worries about the fate of the earth.

Me, I worry that next year's trends will make me obsolete.

Bob buys clothes for comfort.

He has no interest in fashion.

Sometimes I find Americans puzzling.

Hello.

Hello Mom.

Hi honey.

I'm glad you called.

You need to get your tail out here and talk to your Dad.

He's holing up in that damn hut again.

I'll come see him.

I've got some news.

Jenny and I are getting married.

Who asked who?

What do you mean, who asked who?

I asked her. Of course!

Well, it's about time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I gotta go.

After high school, Bob tried college but dropped out.

He works with his hands.

Carpentry and landscaping.

Bob's cousin George pays top dollar for over-priced

clothes that do not flatter him.

He also does some landscaping and is now cooking

up a scheme with exotic plants.

Nice, man.

It's all cherried out.

I drove into Hollywood last night

and it's a magnet for tail.

You ever been to the Geisha House?

Nope.

Japanese food?

It's a club.

Impossible to get into.

You should bring Jenny some night,

I'll get you guys in past the door man.

But you'd have to put on better duds than you usually wear.

My cousin -- "Too Cool" George -- still the same.

What's up, man?

What brings you here?

I got some orchid plants coming in.

I usually store shit at Manny's but I owe him some dough.

I'll give you 500 to let 'em cool their

green little heels here.

Loosen up, bro.

It's an easy 500.

Okay, but I don't want to know nothin' about nothin.'

Yeah, I get it.

I've listened to your Dad jaw on about fair play all my life.

Yep, fair play. That's my Dad.

500 cash money.

Coming right up.

Fresh coffee -- just for you.

I can't drink it.

It's decaf.

You get one cup a day and here it is.

This is good.

Bob called.

He finally asked Jenny to marry him.

Good for Bob.

He's finally growing up.

Damn...

It's time, Polly.

No.

The kids deserve to know the truth.

Absolutely not.

I have to face the music some day.

Maybe so but not today.

Okay, my beauty.

Did you take your pills today?

Yes. Goddammit, I took 'em

but I wonder if they do any good.

They don't do any good because you don't take 'em regular.

Men!

Bob's sister Stephanie has been hiding herself her whole life.

She's about to go public.

She has a gift for numbers and worked as a bookkeeper

to put herself through Cal State L.A.

Stephanie's new girlfriend Marlene is

a genuine fashionista.

Divine.

My kind of woman.

How much trouble am I in?

It's the water and power bill is killing you.

I can hardly run this place without washing the heads.

You've lost dozens of regulars in the last six months but I

think If you cut your prices, you coul get 'em back.

Cut my prices?

I know but everybody's struggling

it's only going to get worse.

Much worse.

I guess you're right.

Hello.

Betsy, Jenny, how are you?

Hey, Bob, what's up?

I wanted to tell you that Jenny and I have

decided to get married.

Hey man, that's great. When?

We haven't worked that out yet.

So why are you getting married all of sudden?

Is Jen pregnant?

No.

It's just time to do it.

It was time years ago.

I gotta go.

Where is it? Where does it come from?

I don't really want to do this thing unless

we're talking about something real.

Unless it has some truth in it.

"The Reader" is a radio conversation show with

writers and poets.

Because of the web, it has a worldwide audience.

Its host, the Reader himself,

wears Brooks Brothers.

Hello. It's Bob.

Can you hold on a second?

I've got to take care of something OK?

Looks like you could use some help.

Yes, the shelves you built are filled and I'm drowning here.

Yeah well... What a way to go.

Death in a sea of words.

What are you reading now?

I'm halfway through "War and Peace."

Oh. no one ever comes and tells me they're on the last chapter.

Finish the book.

You know, your mother knows you're doing my hair today.

You promised not to talk about her.

Remember?

Betsy, either you stop or you find somebody else

to cut your hair.

I'll keep my mouth shut.

Jen, Jen come here.

I just heard your going to marry my idiot brother.

God knows why...

Yeah, I took pity on the poor bastard and said yes.

Dude, I can't even believe you waited so long

for the dude to ask.

Believe me, I took my own sweet time too.

Now we're both ready.

Hey, everybody, I have an announcement to make.

Jenny is marrying my brother Bob!

Thank you. Thank you.

Not a word.

I want to put in that we fabricate ourselves.

We're given characteristics by the culture who see in us

what they want to see.

How many people call me an egghead?

I don't even eat eggs....

Yeah, all the other stuff goes in...

Oh dear. Listen, I gotta go. I'll call you back.

Shit.

Everything okay?

Yeah, sure.

This book was in the wrong place.

It's in the O's and it should be in the W's.

[laughing]

What's so funny?

That's great.

This is Virginia Woolf's Orlando.

I was just talking to my friend about identity

and this little bugger needed to jump out at you,

to jump on your shoulders.

It's one of the classic works on the subject.

What's it about?

It's a great fantasy novel.

It takes place over two centuries and in the middle

of it this nobleman turns into a woman.

And you get to see the difference -- between living

as a man and living as a woman in London at the time.

It's kind of astonishing.

It's so goddam easy for them.

They just decide to do it and then they get married

easy as pie.

Nobody even gives them shit.

You're upset about something else.

I'm fucking pissed off that I have to hide who

and what I am!

You certainly don't have to hide it from me.

I'm here for the whole show. OK

When are you going to tell your Mom?

I don't need her permission.

It's better if you tell her now.

You're just like your brother.

Men are such hot heads.

Yeah, but that's why you like us right?

- Yo, did you get me? - Yeah

God dammit!

Let's move!

Jenny got off work early so Bob is trying to get home fast.

I'm sorry.

After all, there is a time to dispense with clothes.

Isn't there?

You looking for something, stranger?

Nice!

I got 500 big ones.

Oh, baby, you're the best!

I don't get it.

Have you read this? Orlando?

No.

I think it's a movie though.

Cool.

Let's Netflick it so I don't have to read it.

Are you mad because it took me so long to ask?

No.

I knew you'd ask when you were ready.

I'm just a big overgrown kid, aren't I?

Lots of guys are these days

but there's a real man right here...

You know?

Right here.

I want to keep it simple. OK?

Just city hall and a party.

Is that okay?

You don't want a church and a dress?

I already had that -- it was the nightmare of nightmares.

I'm gonna beat the shit out of that guy some day.

I don't think you have to worry about it, honey.

They're never gonna let him out.

I only want you to make you happy.

But I did get you that 500 dollars. Didn't I?

How did you wind up being so good?

I didn't.

I had a little touch of road rage today and scared some

poor woman crossing the street.

Oh, dear.

But I apologized.

I think that scared her even worse.

I think this deserves punishment.

I really do.

Okay, lay it on me.

No church.

Nothing fancy.

But I want to see you in a suit.

For once.

A suit?

What kind of suit? I don't own a suit.

A really good suit.

Okay.

I'll take care of it.

Thank you.

At last!

I am about to enter the picture.

This look is very cute.

I don't think so.

We're not selling trips to Palm Springs.

We're selling cigarettes in Japan.

Fix it now or we're out of here.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

Bob! I need help!

What's up?

C'mon!

I need to hustle before I lose this booking.

Who's your friend, girl?

You know what?

You better cover it up.

Because this whore loses control around a real man.

Set that down right there.

Those people are shits.

That they are. Welcome to Oz, Dorothy.

Here I am, patiently waiting for my close-up

-- but longing to be free.

That is perhaps the ugliest suit ever made.

Over here...

Yes,that's right...

Choose me...

Am I Bob's destiny?

I love it!

You're a genius!

That was too close for this queen's comfort.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

You owe me six hundred to finish the work in the yard.

If you need an advance, that'll be a problem.

I can't swing it.

I'm trying to avoid foreclosure.

Nobody's paying on time.

I mean everybody's strapped.

Maybe if you hook me up with a suit

-- maybe this one -- we could call it even?

Maybe.

That's an expensive suit.

Maybe you could try this one?

I have to look really sharp.

For Jenny.

We're getting married.

Well, that certainly makes a difference.

All right, the suit's yours.

But it's going to need to be tailored.

Thanks, man.

This is just great!

This must be destiny.

Unfortunately, destiny can be a double-edged sword

and Bob's cousin Too Cool George is triggering a series of

events that will be unfortunate for everybody.

Is that you, Stephanie?

Yeah, Mom, it's me.

Are you hungry, honey?

I've got meatloaf from last night.

I could make a sandwich for you.

How much you gonna get for this one?

Well, I started the bidding at 300 so we'll see.

I got $680 for a doll just like that last month

but she was in better shape.

Why don't take off your things and relax?

Do you want some coffee?

Maybe lemonade?

You were disappointed that I didn't take moren of

an interest in those silly dolls when I was growing up,

weren't you?

Sometimes I make enough money from

these silly dolls to pay the mortgage.

It helps a lot since your Dad lost his job.

Take off that hat.

You look like a thug and you're making me nervous.

You have such a nice head of hair.

You look like a boy, Stephie.

Yeah, well, hopefully so.

I'm going to start living as a man, Mom.

Eventually I'll be looking at testosterone shots and surgery.

Do you want to kill your father?

That is so lame.

You're talking about yourself,

and it's not going to kill you once you get used to it.

I got used to the gay thing because I knew I had to.

But I'll never get used to this.

Okay, this - this is who I am.

I was never a girl.

You know that. You raised me.

Didn't I stand up for you at the high school

when you wanted to take another girl to the prom?

Yeah, you did.

I didn't like it but I did it anyway.

Well, so what's the difference with this?

It scares me.

Camon Mom, You never turn on the girlie tears to get your way.

Don't do it now.

Don't use that tone on me, young lady.

I'm not some fucking young lady.

You think it's okay to talk to your Mother like

a truck driver?

I have to say you were the meanest little bitch of a

girl anybody ever saw.

I'd try to get you into a dress and you'd pitch a

full-out hissy fit.

Because I'm transgender.

I'm going to start living as a man and see if I like it.

Don't call me Stephanie anymore.

My name is Steve now.

Mom?

No.

The answer is no.

Go.

Go on, go away.

I've never seen anything like this.

Where the hell did you get these?

Let's put 'em in the yard.

Hold up.

These are gonna die out there in the sun light.

C'mon, man.

Let's do it.

I'm telling you they'll die.

They need moisture and indirect light.

Then give me back my money back

and I'll find somewhere else for them.

That money is already spent.

Well then you owe me, man,

and I want it back as soon as you can get it.

My Dad has a set-up like a greenhouse.

Maybe that'll might work.

Calm down. We'll take care of the alright.

Okay, let's do it. Let's go. C'mon.

Jenny's investment banker father started entering her

bedroom when she went into puberty.

Her beauty queen mother was too drunk to notice.

Jenny's first husband is in prison for shooting a cop

while high on meth.

She got sober ten years ago after her father's death

from cancer.

She does speak to her mother.

I resent Bob because he doesn't plan ahead about money.

This affects my security and triggers my fear.

My part in this is that I do long to be taken care of...

And I wrote - I don't resent my mother because she's such

a selfish, narcissistic bitch.

Please remove my resentments.

Please remove my fears about money.

Please remove my anger at my mother.

Amen.

I think I've seen pictures of these.

They come from South America.

Peru maybe.

Ugly as sin until they bloom.

I bet it's illegal to import these unless you got a license.

You're looking at a whole bunch of money here.

Yep, probably so.

Where did you get them?

You don't need to know that.

What the hell are you up to?

Just paying my bills.

C'mon, Uncle Buster, it's just for a few days.

I don't like it but I don't want 'em to die.

Get 'em out of here as soon as you can.

I promise I'll move them out fast.

Fate definitely has a mind of its own and

I fear it is weaving a tapestry that will lead to disaster.

Even for an innocent bystander like me.

You have to help me with your sister.

She's really going to do it this.

She's going to turn into a boy.

Are you kidding me?

I don't know where Stephanie gets it from.

My folks were good hardworking people --

farmers God bless their souls -- and there was never

nothing like this.

I'm leaving it up to you to take care of it.

What am I supposed to do?

Make her stop before it kills your Dad.

Hi, Bob.

Jenny just took off.

She went to an AA meeting.

I'm looking for Stephanie.

Stephanie, my little sister.

You must have talked to your Mom.

I guess she's not too happy.

How's it hanging Bob?

It's hanging, Marlene.

Because I've got one.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about my penis.

Oh, that.

I suppose you do have a penis.

My clients are not going to pay to watch family melodrama.

So why don't you wait out here and I will go get your....

sibling.

What's up, Bob?

Why the hell didn't you run this horseshit past me

before you talked to Mom?

Wow, she got you all worked up.

I can't believe you still let her use you as her hit man.

Whatever!

Dad is getting worse and this isn't going to help.

C'mon, dude.

What am I supposed to do -- pretend to be somebody I'm not?

You're not going to do this to Mom and Dad!

Back off.

Be a guy.

Help another guy out.

And call me Steve.

That's my name.

I mean, c'mon on, the truth is, you're not even that upset.

You totally already get it.

I mean c'mon. Who taught me to play basketball?

Who showed me how to kick Jim Bob Kellum's ass when he

tried to scare me in the third grade.

So it's my fault?

Yeah, dude, you did this to me.

So what are we going to wear?

Huh?

In the wedding.

Oh, that. The wedding.

Jenny's friend Mickey is getting me a suit.

How much?

I'm finishing the landscaping job in exchange for the suit.

So we'll get Mickey to throw in another suit for me.

The brother is always the best man.

- Stop. - Come on, dude,

I'll totally take care of you.

I know the hottest strippers for your bachelor party.

Course, they're all lesbians but they'll totally show you

and your friends a good time.

Bob! Stop it.

I fucking hate when you do that. It makes me feel like your little sister.

But we both know better, right?

Hello, Mom?

Did you talk to her?

Yes.

It's a done deal.

I knew you could talk her out of it.

That's not what I mean.

You're just gonna have to live with it.

How could you let her do this!

Now this is my fault?

Yes!

And how do you suppose I'm to tell your father...

I'll make it easy for you.

I'll tell him.

Good.

You can do that tonight.

Bring Jenny to dinner and you can do the honors yourself.

Investigators are tracking the illegally imported

orchids and inadvertently turns up information

about Buster Goodlow.

His social security number was first issued to a man

who died in 1970.

Hey, Bob!

What is going on?

You're all balled up.

I ain't balled up.

This is none of your business.

Then maybe I'll just marry into a different family Bob.

You better watch yourself or that's exactly what I'll do.

I'm sorry algiht. I'm sorry.

I'm jumpy about breaking the news to Dad.

Thank you -- the truth.

Don't I always tell you the truth?

Yes but you tend to get angry first.

I know, I know -- I've got to do something about it.

I can't figure it out.

Maybe I smacked their fannies but we never hit the kids.

We never had any money but we fed them and got them clothes.

I don't know what I ever did to cause this mess with Stephie.

You didn't do anything to cause it.

Then why is she so mad at me?

You should hear how she talks to me.

Maybe she's just hurt.

My generation did this.

Well it's taken more than one generation to

get us in to this pickle

We all started with a lot of idealism about how we

were going to change things and then we blew it.

Most of us settled for hustling in some dough.

So what's the problem?

What do you mean?

Your mother is cooking fried chicken.

I'm not allowed to eat fried chicken.

She does this when something's up.

So what gives, son?

Stephanie's going to start living as a guy.

She wants us to call her Steve and she means it.

Well, that little shit.

So she wants to be someone else.

Sometimes life does that to us wether we want it or not.

I always knew she was a little different.

She's a good kid.

Smart.

Honest.

Damn...

Why don't you ever speak to your Mother?

My mom used to get roaring drunk

and beat the shit out of me.

Did your mother ever do anything to make it right?

Yeah, I guess.

Between benders, she'd buy me the world

and then it would happen again.

You know the best thing about growing up in the orphanage

was working in the farm.

I could lose myself there for hours.

Will you invite her to the wedding?

No. no, no, no...

We don't even want her to know about it.

When Stephanie was born, I felt so lucky.

A boy and then a girl.

Perfect.

One for his Dad and one for me.

Sit down, son.

I need to talk to you.

I need you to listen to me.

We raised you up to be fair,

to look out for others, to give people the

benefit of the doubt.

But it's a greedy world.

And we're tested every day.

You're making me nervous.

I need to know two things.

Number one -- I need to know you can take care of things

if need be.

This is bullshit.

Sit down, son.

I'm listening.

You got your temper from your Mom.

You haven't answered my question.

Can you take care of things?

Of course I can.

And I'm going to need...

I'm going to need you to forgive me.

For what?

What did you do?

A million things.

You are so weird sometimes.

Yep.

Always was.

I'd forgive you anything.

You're my Dad.

And I love you, Pop.

I'm so happy my son's making you an honest woman.

Oh, Thank you.

Actually I'm making him an honest man.

Where's Stephie?

This a celebration isn't it?

She and Marlene had other plans.

They couldn't make it.

I'll call her up.

I want both my kids here tonight.

No, no, it's time to eat.

What'd you say she wants to be called?

Steve?

Now, honey, take it easy.

It takes time to adjust.

Hi, Steve.

It's your Dad.

I want you to get your butt over here.

And that's an order.

Man to man...

No problem...

All taken care of...

To the head guy, I say:

"Here's the bottom line, pal.

Either we get a break right now or we break the machines."

Pieces all over...

I know it's an old story.

Give an old guy a break.

You're not an old guy.

Thirty years I made passenger jets.

Then they booted all of our butts ouf of there.

And now that stinking France is selling jet planes

all over the world.

And there's our Stephie...

Here's my boy.

Steve...

Well, c'mon over.

Who wants key-lime pie?

So where's Marlene?

- Uh, she's having dinner with friends tonight. - Oh...

So when are you two going to move in together?

Soon.

Good.

Well, she's a great gal.

Honey?

Drink?

Please.

Thanks, Jen.

Well, here we all are.

My beautiful wife, my two handsome sons...

and a new daughter just to complete the picture.

- Here, here - Yeah

Beautiful!

Beautiful Barbara is the best dressed person in this tale.

She wears St. Laurent, Chanel and Valentino.

She's been collecting important dresses for decades.

Your Dad isn't feeling well, is he?

No.

There's something else going on with him.

Like what?

Who knows?

I've never been able to figure out my Dad.

Sometimes he's himself

and sometimes he's a whole other guy.

Yeah, Yeah, even his voice changes.

Yeah, like he's got a pole stuck up his butt.

When you don't know somebody's people,

it's hard to know their real deal.

I've tried to get him to contact the orphanage --

maybe open up the records.

But he won't do it.

Well, when I get pregnant...

Hmm?

Yeah.

We'll just tell him we need

the medical records of his birth family.

And that should do the trick.

So, you want to get started?

Do you?

I asked you first.

Don't you think we should put some money aside first?

Bob, If we wait to do that, we'll both be on walkers.

Can I help you?

You must be Bob.

And you must be Barbara, right?

We finally meet.

Finally.

It's good to...

What are you doing here?

Betsy told me you're getting married again.

How did you find me, Mom?

I've had the address for years.

Just get back in that cab and go home.

I only want to talk to you.

We don't have anything to say to each other Mom.

Hold on, honey...

Just butt out, please, Bob.

I just have one thing to say and then I'll go.

Okay, what is it?

I can't stop drinking.

I need your help, honey.

That's just great.

You say the one thing you know will make me listen.

I've been trying to stop for months and I can't.

I will help you.

If you're willing to go to rehab.

But you have to go now --

You got to go tonight if we can get you admitted.

Okay.

I'm gonna take care of the cab.

Just hold on!

You've got to pay for the cab Mom.

We don't have that kind of money.

You better take this...

Here you go.

Don't you want to get off?

I did.

I got off completely in my head.

It was beautiful.

What are we going to tell people about Stephie?

We'll tell them Steve's courageous

-- which he is.

Maybe you understand it.

You went to college.

This is way beyond me.

We brought 'em up to be free.

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

Jenny's AA sponsor -- Maria --

squeezes herself into tight clothes to display

her charming assets.

My daughter doesn't care about me.

If she didn't care, she wouldn't have dragged

me out of bed to come over here.

If she really cared about me,

she wouldn't be pawning me off on you.

Look, we can't get our own family members sober.

It doesn't work.

Really.

Exactly what kind of work do you, sweetheart?

Well, I'm 16 years sober.

I run a store on Melrose.

Before that I was a stripper.

Oh...

And I've done porn.

How many husbands have you had?

Four.

So you probably have an idea what that

kind of work is like.

You nasty little bitch!

Sounds like things are going okay.

I shouldn't have let her in.

Isn't this what you want -- for her to get sober?

Yes, it's what I want.

I'm just saying I'll believe when she has a year.

You can be very tough.

Bob,

you're mad because I told you to butt out.

I thought we're supposed to be partners.

I"m sorry, honey.

We are.

I over reacted.

I'm sorry.

I found a suit.

You did?

I may be on the verge of freedom but others are in danger.

The Patriot Act allows investigations of Americans

who might be involved with the terrorism.

Bob, you never told me you had a brother.

Uh, yeah, Steve just graduated from Cal State L.A.

Congratulations.

What were you studying?

Business mostly but I had a lot of English classes.

My Dad - our dad is a big reader and I take after him.

I like that.

Do your friends read too.

Maybe gossip on the internet but that's about it.

By the way, I couldn't get into "Orlando" so I

passed it on to Steve.

I hope that's okay.

Finish War and Peace.

As long as I get it back, that's fine, that's fine.

How do you like it?

Oh, I love it. I love it.

It's amazing.

What do you like most about it?

Well, the writing obviously.

But I also love the whole gender switch thing

because I'm actually doing that my self right now.

I see.

Some of us are going way beyond traditional ideas about gender.

Yeah, there are trannies everywhere.

I'm not up on the lingo. But I thought

trannies were male to female transgenders?

Well, I mean really my politically correct brothers

would probably shoot me but I like the word "trannie."

I think it has a nice sound.

Is it okay...

I don't want to be rude.

Can I ask you what it feels like?

Yeah.

I just started and right now it's all about how

everybody else is reacting.

I'm told it's take years to really find myself.

I like it.

It used be you read -- and Alice in Wonderland,

how old were you went you read it?

She drinks little bottle, she gets real tiny,

small enough to talk to the flowers.

Or all those stories in Ovid's Metamorphoses --

girls turning into trees or some god wants to fuck you

and you run away and turn into a stag.

You just get away!

That's what the imagination does,

that's what it's about -- helping us adapt.

And then I see someone like you making this enormous

life change and reading Orlando at the same time.

Amazing for you.

Thank you.

Polly.

Polly!

C'mere.

Hurry up! C'mere!

I think this lock has been picked.

You're making things up in your head.

I'm not making this up.

C'mere.

I found this here.

And I left it on the cabinet.

Somebody's been in here.

You just forgot moving it.

I told you to put it away -- Do remember that?

I remember! I'm not an idiot.

Were you poking around in here?

No.

This has been picked.

There must be a logical explanation.

Maybe the kids were in here.

They don't have keys!

Somebody's onto me.

You're getting ahead of yourself.

If you turn yourself in, you get a better deal.

And if they find you, they throw away the key.

Let's go back to the house.

C'mon, Buster, we'll figure this out.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Here -- drink this.

I need to sit down.

Buster, what's wrong?

...a heart attack.

Oh shit! Oh shit!

I'll call emergency.

Answer, goddammit!

Aspirin!

You're supposed to chew aspirin.

Yes, my husband is having a heart attack.

We're at 2965 Brewster Lane in 91344.

Yes, I can hold but please hurry!

You didn't pay attention to the doctor

and I knew this was going to happen.

Damn your hide!

Where the hell are they!

You can't do this to me.

I'm sorry, Mama.

Look at me.

I'm looking...

Stay with me.

I'm right here.

There's a letter for Bob.

I left a letter for Bobby.

In my desk. It's locked in the bottom drawer...

Hold on, honey.

I love you.

You always did my beauty.

Okay. Okay.

Oh God...

No, no, no...

Don't do this, Buster!

[siren sounds in the distance]

Hey Mom.

You spend all this goddamn money on taxes.

They rob you blind and then you can't get emergency to

come when you need them!

C'mere, baby...

I'm so sorry I was so mean...

No! no! no! no! no!

What're you doing?

It's morning -- raising the flag.

People are gonna mad about being left out.

Your Mom was pretty clear.

Just family and a few friends.

She's doing this wrong.

She needs people around her.

But she gets to do it her way okay.

Something's off here.

Like what?

I don't know.

Yeah, I feel it too.

You thinking about buying a tractor?

Just distracting myself.

You and Bob were fixin' to get married

and then here all this happens.

We can get married anytime.

It's not a big deal.

I was hoping maybe there might be a shotgun wedding.

No.

But we're working on it.

Really?

Yeah. A couple times a day.

Ha!

Buster was like that when we first got together.

Enjoy it.

We had fun.

Hey, Steve!

Get your butt in here!

What's up?

I want to know if what you're doing includes

getting some kind of a penis.

Mom!

You don't want to talk about this right now.

Yes, I do.

I don't know whether I'm coming or going so I got the

courage to ask the question I've been wondering about.

Well?

Well, um... The technology isn't that great

for making a dick yet.

The dick technology?

So to speak.

For the time being, I'm going to keep what I have.

Okay.

Interesting.

I'll say.

Mom.

So they actually...

What's up?

Hi.

Not Steve apparently.

But we'll see.

My sister Tootie has turned mean as a snake

since she found Jesus.

I'm sorry -- turned?

I don't think she's going to like seeing you

dressed as a boy.

Yeah, well, Aunt Tootie's been praying for me ever

since I told her I was a lesbian.

Maybe she'll see this an improvement.

I wouldn't count on it.

Thanks, Mom.

Hello,

I'm calling Edward McIntyre...

Please tell him Polly Goodlow is calling.

He'll know who I am...

Yes, I'll hold.

You might want to pull the pants up just a tad.

Yes, exactly.

Yes, he does the suit proud, doesn't he?

Let me see you.

No funeral, no notice in the paper.

My dad was acting weird before he died

And my mom's acting even weirder now.

It's just grief, honey.

I was certainly not planning on having my debut at a wake

but I am free at last.

Polly's sister Tootie wears designer labels she buys

at discount stores.

Twenty years ago, her husband ran off with her

best friend, leaving her depressed for years.

She was recently born again and takes better care of

herself to honor the Lord.

So, where did you bury Buster?

He's fine right where he is.

Where's that?

Right there where I can keep my eye on him.

You always had to do things different from

the rest of us, Polly.

Maybe you should try doing things the normal way for once.

What are you saying?

Buster should have a funeral in the church.

He should be buried in the ground.

That's normal.

I'm as normal as they come, Tootie.

I had a life-long marriage to the love of my life.

I have two great kids and I'd advise you not

to make me mad today.

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen,

Bob Goodlow, handsome dog, man of the world.

You ready?

Hey, Bob, looks like you've gone all uptown on us.

Hey, Jenny.

Hey, George.

Sorry about Uncle Buster, man.

Where the hell is your bull-dagger sister?

Okay, ignore him.

Hold on a sec...

Hey, c'mere.

I want those fucking orchids gone tomorrow.

Understand?

Take it easy.

Dad never liked putting 'em there and I want 'em gone

or I'm giving them away to the neighbors.

Okay, okay.

Give them to the neighbors?

Are you crazy?

You know how much they're worth?

Thank you for coming.

You're welcome.

That's a long drive.

Hey, everybody, say hello to Steve.

He's the same old son-of-gun we all know and love.

He's finally come as himself.

Thanks for coming.

My Dad would have liked this.

He was a man who took pleasure in simple things --

a good day in his garden, an afternoon with a good book,

and God knows he had a happy life with a good woman.

My Dad loved his family, and he loved his country.

He taught me what was great about America -- the search

for freedom, he called it...

Okay, so...

So this was my Dad's favorite Psalm.

"The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,

He lays with me beside the still waters..."

He restoreth my soul, he leadeth me in the paths or righteousness

for his namesake. For thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff,

they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in

the prescence of mine enemies. Thou anoitest my head with oil.

My cup runeth over. Surely goodness and mercy

shall follow me all of the days of my life.

And I will dwell in the house of the lord forever.

Good shot.

However...

You know, this is some kind of a party.

Maybe this isn't the best time to do this.

The investigators are confused by the gathering.

It's never the right time.

We'll wait 'til it's over.

You're such a dick.

Oh man, you are some kind of woman...

Hey, lady, let me play.

Dontcha want to play Stephanie?

Wow, you're really good, George.

Lemme show you how's it done, Georgie Porgie...

Great.

So you know how to shoot baskets.

Big deal.

That don't make you a man.

Being a man is a state of mind.

And you are and idiot.

Say what?

You heard me.

All right, all right. The game is over. Game over.

Oh now you want to be the peacemaker huh?

What a good little girl.

Hey, fuck you, man!

Hey, hey, what's going on?

What's going on, George?

Don't even worry about it.

This fucking joker's not even worth it.

Stay out of it, queer.

- No! - Kick his ass!

Do it Bob. Kick his ass!

Bob! You fucking assholes!

Take it easy you guys!

Oh, the horror!

I will never forget the horror!

Yeah, it's not a good party until there's a fight.

Nice.

Go tell George you're sorry.

Bob, go tell him what you did was wrong.

Just go do it.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I feel awful.

How do you think I feel?

Uncle Buster was the only Dad I ever had after my Dad left.

- We got a lot to talk about. - Yeah...

I aways hoped to wind up in a firstclass used clothing store

but I won't even make it to Good Will.

Oh, the humiliation.

But of course destiny always wins.

George is arrested for trafficking in contraband

worth more than 50 thousand dollars.

He is given a new bracelet accessory.

I'm the biggest asshole in the world.

I'm never going to lose my temper again.

Oh, yeah, sure...

Whatever...

Momma, what's the matter?

What gives?

Who are these guys?

I'll handle this.

Yes?

Wait, didn't I meet you with George?

Yeah, you did.

We're looking for Mark McIntyre.

I don't know who that is.

You must have the wrong address.

We're also looking for Buster Goodlow,

also known as Robert Goodlow.

Yes, this is his house.

Okay, is he here?

I'm Bob Goodlow.

My father Buster passed away three days ago.

You were supposed to stay on top of this stuff.

I thought you took care of that.

Excuse me.

I'm confused.

Who's Mark McIntyre?

I know this is a difficult time for you.

But Mark McIntyre has been wanted for murder in the

state of Illinois for the last 35 years.

I think that he and Buster are the same person.

No, you must have made some kind of a mistake.

I don't think so, Mr. Goodlow.

Please excuse my children's confusion.

They don't know anything about this.

Come in.

George was hired to pass the orchids onto another

middleman so he can't lead the investigators on to the

Palm Springs orchid collector who is never caught.

But he has inadvertently led them to the man pretending

to be Buster Goodlow.

I met your Dad in 1973.

We were both working out at the airplane factory.

I was a waitress in the cafeteria.

I got pregnant just like that.

Buster asked me to marry him but gave me a choice first.

I decided to marry him and protect his secret.

And I did that for 35 years.

What was the secret?

Buster wasn't an orphan.

Your father was born in Illinois.

Mark Brainard McIntyre.

Pretty fancy people.

In the 1960s, he got all messed up in politics.

He left Illinois wanted for murder.

Was he guilty?

They probably think so...

But he wasn't.

Some stupid kids were building bombs in one

of the buildings owned by your father's family.

One of them blew himself up.

So Dad went underground?

Yes.

We lied.

To give him a new life.

A better life.

That's what he had.

That's what we built together.

And I don't regret it.

Polly told the men everything they wanted to know.

They told her she might be charged

with harboring a fugitive.

Polly understood that.

Buster knew he was dying.

He left this for you, Bob.

He left it for both of you.

Dear Bob, every generation has to clean up

the mess the previous generation has made.

I've left you with quite a mess.

I believe you can handle it.

I concocted a lie -- but I did it to have a chance at a

normal life -- a life I tried to pass onto you.

My great-great grandfather Marcus McIntyre started a

manufacturing company that his son my grandfather

Marcus Jr...

What does that say?

-Turned... -Oh -- turned into an empire.

Marcus Jr. was part of a generation of Americans who

made us the most powerful country in the world

during World War II.

I grew up by the lake north of Chicago.

My father had been raised to run the world,

and he tried to pass the crown on to me.

But I saw that power made my father unhappy and I

rebelled from the beginning.

My mother was a reader and we had a remarkable library.

I studied literature at Princeton where the 1960s

hit me like a ton of bricks.

i became enamored with the dream of revolution.

It was fun at first.

We even pretended to levitate the pentagon in our

efforts to stop the Vietnam War.

Like thousands and thousands of true

believers my age, I thought we had to tear down the old

America to build a new one.

I got into terrible trouble.

I was very young and foolish.

I ran away to California.

I bought a new identity and got a job where I met your mother.

I never saw my real family again.

This was too much for you and Dad to handle.

Why didn't you tell us?

We couldn't.

Finish the letter.

We tried to teach you what people used

to call the common virtues.

We raised you to be fair, to tell the truth,

to work hard and to share what you have with others.

I'm holding you to your promise that

you will forgive me.

I leave you my dream of a better life.

Love, Dad.

Bob is about to discover a destiny he could

never have imagined.

I always knew something was fishy, didn't you?

Yeah, I did.

But Princeton?

Right.

It's impressive.

Yeah, it's amazing.

Edward McIntyre wears clothes so well tailored

they last for decades.

Very nice indeed.

You must be Edward McIntyre.

And you must be Polly.

It's a pleasure to meet you after all this time.

Please come in.

I got here as soon as I could.

- Are your children here? - Yes.

These are my children Steve and Bob.

Steve's girlfriend Marlene.

And Bob's fiancee Jenny.

Say hello to Edward McIntyre.

Please sit down.

Here you are, sir.

I'm a little confused.

I thought you had a boy and a girl.

This is how it is now...

And you are?

This is your great uncle.

I'm Edward, your grandfather's brother.

He died in 1979.

Your grandmother died in 1986.

You look very much like her.

I wanted to meet you, get to know you a

little bit, say hello before we meet with the lawyers.

What lawyers?

There's one more thing you kids don't know.

There's an estate.

Your Dad and I struggled to pay the bills our whole lives.

Things would have been different if Buster had

turned himself in but we did just fine with what we had.

So how much money are we talking about?

It's fairly complicated.

The lawyers are beginning the process of working out

the terms of the various trusts.

Your grandfather, my brother

wanted Mark's children to be equal inheritents

with the other cousins.

You have a dozen cousins to meet.

The McIntyre holdings are worth close to two billion dollars.

Holy shit.

I always knew you were a prince.

Oh, my God.

Bob and Steve move the family to a farm in

the San Joaquin Valley.

Steve uses his talent for numbers to manage their

share of the McIntyre assets.

After George served his sentence,

Bob and Steve gave him a job.

He has a natural gift for farming and,

working the land is draining him of his need to be cool.

Well, almost.

The McIntyre fortune cannot keep Polly out of jail.

She has to serve two years in a minimum security prison

for harboring a fugitive.

Polly declined to meet her grandson

on visiting days in prison.

Upon her release, she meets him at last.

Excuse me.

Will you be performing the ceremony?

I have the honor.

So, you're a real minister?

I'm a real minister in the Church of Eternal Light.

I'll bet you got that off the internet.

I'm sure you're gonna do a really good job.

Bob and Jenny waited to marry until Polly can attend.

I wish your Dad could see his handsome kids today.

Maybe he can.

Maybe so.

Time to get married.

C'mon, boys.

There is an old fable about a prince raised in secret

among the common people to learn their virtues.

As for me, I'm perfectly content with my destiny

because I enjoy a good view and today I have

the best view of all.