Blue Streak (1999) - full transcript

♪♪ [ Hip-Hop ]

♪♪ [ Man Rapping,

Indistinct ]

♪ Blinded by the criminal mind♪

♪ I can't help it ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪

♪ To pick up the pieces ♪

♪ Burnin' up ♪

♪ It's the only way

I see myself ♪

♪ Getting to the other side ♪



♪ That's why I try criminal ♪

♪ City lights ♪

♪ Diamond sky ♪

♪ What a beautiful thing ♪

♪ Delight ♪

Beautiful thing.

♪ Everything

Is all that I desire ♪

♪ It was in my head

A chance to live higher ♪

♪ Guided by the criminal mind ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ I can't help it ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪



I'm on my way.

♪ To pick up the pieces ♪

♪ It's the only way

I see myself ♪

♪ Getting to the other side ♪

♪ That's why

I got a criminal mind ♪

♪ I can't help it ♪

♪ Say what ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪

On my way.

♪ To pick up the pieces ♪

♪ It's the only way

I see myself ♪

♪ Getting to the other side ♪

♪ It's by means

of the criminal mind ♪♪

Yeah.

Movin' on up !

Believe that !

Ladies,

we got picture.

- What about the alarm ?

- Hey, Miles, what do

you think I'm doing ?

Deke, just cool out.

We like to run

a loose crew here.

- You're the boss, Miles.

- It's like that ?

- It's like that.

- I'm gonna go check on Tulley.

♪♪ [ Car Radio ]

♪♪ [ Rap ]

[ Miles On Two-Way Radio ]

Tulley ! We cool down there ?

♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme

My money, money, money ♪

Yeah.

Yeah,

we're cool, man.

Good.

Cool is good.

Are you smoking ?

No. Negative.

You're lyin', Tulley.

I smell the menthol up here.

Now, cut it out.

You're lyin' to me.

What would your mama do

if she knew you were smoking ?

Butt it out, man.

- Ow ! Shit !

- Now stay alert.

Ready over here ?

Damn it !

Eddie, why you got

to do that every time ?

It's good luck.

It's bad luck

if I land in it.

Believe that.

Don't fall

in that shit.

- See you, Deke.

- Good luck, guys.

[ Panting ]

- Deke !

How's the weather up there ?

- Snowing.

Yeah ?

Well, it's beginning

to look a lot like Christmas.

[ Buzzing, Beeping ]

Miles, you got a guard

20 feet from you.

Ten feet.

He's closing fast.

He's right around

the corner from you.

- [ Beeping ]

- [ Panting ]

[ Deke On Radio ]

He turned around.

Forget it, he's gone.

So much

for the easy part.

Kit !

Aw, shit !

Blam !

I hate it when you do that.

All right, Eddie.

Check this out.

This is a Brigger 3300.

Toughest safe in the world.

What's the first thing

you do ?

Drill the lock.

No, you gotta check

to see if it's open !

- It's open !

- What ?

No, I'm messin' with...

I'm messin' with you.

They would never do that.

You know they

would never do that.

[ Grunts ]

[ Woman Chattering

On Police Radio ]

[ Grunts ]

Glasses.

I'll see you

back up top.

Right.

- [ Beeping ]

- Open sesame.

Come on, Eddie.

- You got the rock ?

- Miles is right behind me, man.

Eddie.

Whoa.

What the hell are you doin' ?

Seventeen million,

four ways.

What ?

- I'm too greedy

for that, Eddie.

- Look, just... Come on, man.

[ Screaming ]

[ Starting Engine ]

Shit !

Oh, yeah.

[ Siren Blaring ]

[ Indistinct ]

Come here, gorgeous.

Got the rock.

Time to roll.

[ Deke On Radio ]

Hurry up. We got a lot

of activity up here.

- Now, hurry up. Let's go !

- Shit !

[ Grunts ]

- Freeze !

- [ Grunts ]

[ Man ]

Hey, let's go ! Go !

- [ Grunts ]

- Stay down ! You !

Stay down ! Don't move !

Let me see

your hands !

Hey, Miles.

Where's Eddie ?

He went over early.

Got the rock ?

What ?

You got the rock ?

What you doin' ?

Give me the rock !

Yo, Deke, you ain't

got to do this, man.

I need the rock.

You want the rock ? We're

supposed to split this shit.

Why are you

doing this ?

Give me the rock.

[ Helicopter Whirring ]

[ Police Shouting,

Indistinct ]

Shit !

Whoa-ho !

[ Screaming ]

[ Grunting ]

Miles, you're a dead man,

you piece of shit !

[ Grunting ]

Deke !

[ Screaming ]

Miles...

[ Panting ]

Miles !

[ Policeman ]

Let's get on Tack Two.

[ Chattering

On Police Radios ]

[ Panting ]

Damn !

[ Screams ]

Yes.

[ Grunting ]

Oh !

Oh, good doggie.

[ Barking ]

G-Good doggie.

Kibbles 'N Bits.

Easy, or, um, um...

Where's the nearest exit ?

Stay were you are.

Hands up.

Hands up,

turn around, buddy.

I'm a carpenter.

Turn around !

I was working late.

Aw, see ?

That's the saw. See ?

I was workin'.

You're under arrest.

You have the right

to remain silent.

Anything you say

can and will be used

against you.

You have the right

to an attorney.

If you cannot afford one,

one will

be appointed for you.

- Do you understand your rights ?

- [ Miles ] No...

Do you understand

your rights ?

Yeah, I understand 'em.

♪ Ain't nothin' but

a free thing, baby, yeah ♪

Ah, free man.

Believe that.

Yeah !

One belt,

one shoelace,

one wallet

containing $22.

One shoelace ?

Yo, man, you know

how much them shoes co...

One shoelace ?

I came in here

with two.

You took my shoelace ?

Did you take my shoelace, man ?

You got two seconds

to walk out that door.

Sign out,

and leave my pen.

I'm signing out.

Got places to go,

people to see.

My lady,

Janiece.

Ass. Ka-pow !

[ Buzzer Sounds ]

I mean, it's like that.

What you gonna do

with one shoelace ?

Let me in on the secret.

Floss your ass ?

[ Laughs ]

Gotta go.

Whoo !

Y'all stay up, man.

Don't be mad 'cause

I gotta go.

Oh, yeah.

Open that. Thank you.

Yeah. I'm out of here.

Oh, man ! Where them

butt-naked ho's at ?

You know ?

Yeah. Let me

up out of here !

Yes !

[ Shouting ]

I'm free !

I'm free at last !

Gotta go.

Gotta go, gotta go.

All right !

Uh-huh !

♪ Ah, when you're wrong ♪

♪ You said you would

only be away a while ♪

♪ But the days

turned into weeks ♪

♪ And all the weeks

into miles ♪

♪ Baby, why ♪

♪ You could have told me you

were tellin' me good-bye ♪

Damn !

What happened ?

I-I mean...

Did you eat

the whole time

I was in there ?

I mean,

when I left you was like,

"plickety-cow, plickety-pat."

Now, you like,

"Fa-bwoom !"

And some Oprah shit.

Wait a minute,

that's all right.

I can adjust.

It's the love that counts,

you know what I mean ?

I could adjust to

a plus-sized woman. Just some

more cushion for the pushin'.

[ Laughs ]

You know ?

Janiece ?

Your sad-ass

sack of bones is here.

Oh, I apologize.

You're her cousin.

Mm-hmm.

I apolo...

Can I buy you some cereal ?

Ugh.

[ Woman ]

It's okay, Shawna.

There you are.

Just...

Miles.

Wow. Baby.

You are...

[ Exhales ]

You look beautiful.

You are beautiful.

And that's not two years

of prison talking.

Oh, baby,

it must have been hard

in there for you.

All alone at night

in your little cot.

Tell me something, Miles.

Did you think about me ?

Think about you

all the time !

Think about

you right now !

[ Chuckles ]

Then you should have

thought about that before

you started robbin' people !

Janiece !

I never robbed you !

Janiece !

I'm a rehabilitated man.

Janiece ! Janiece !

[ Stammers ]

Talk to me.

Miles, I didn't come

see you for two years.

- Wasn't that a sign ?

- I know you couldn't stand

to see your man like that.

"Man" ?

You're not my man.

You lie. You told me

you were a banker.

No ! Bank robber !

You see, sometime I stutter.

But-But I'm gettin'

that whole speech impediment

thing tog...

Miles, you are

a very smart man,

but the entire time...

we spent together

was one big lie.

Look, Janiece,

listen to me, okay ?

I know I lied

about some things,

but I can change.

Oh, I don't think so.

Bye !

No, no, Janie...

Don't do me like this !

Oh !

Fifth and Grand ?

"To protect and... "

[ Cursing,

Indistinct ]

Hi ! How you doin' ?

Is this really

a police station ?

Of course !

[ High-Pitched Moaning ]

Hey !

[ Beeping ]

Hi, there.

I have a delivery

for Traffic.

[ Desk Officer ]

Oh, yeah.

Want you to sign by the "X."

What do we got ?

Egg roll. Orange chicken.

Yeah, hot pizzas

comin' through.

Hot pizza.

Got to get

the police officers

their pizza.

They got to protect and serve.

The police got to eat too.

Let the officers

eat, please.

I am the pizza man,

here to deliver the pizza.

Thank you.

Officers,

I got your pizzas !

Third floor.

Robbery-Homicide.

Yeah, please be careful.

Pizza's very hot.

Don't want nobody to get hurt.

Just got there for pizza quick.

♪ Whoo, pizza quick

That's how we do it ♪

♪ Down in pizza quick

Uhh ♪

♪ Watch it, watch it

Watch it, watch it ♪

♪ Pa-pow, pa-pow

Two times, bring it up ♪

♪ Oh, don't

drop the pizza

Uhh ♪♪

Whoa, whoa. Whoo !

Uh, pizza delivery

for Robbery-Homicide.

Robbery-Homicide ?

Why is it I don't see

Robbery-Homicide...

with a pizza delivery

in the log-in sheet ?

But I'll tell you what.

Why don't you just leave

that pizza here with me ?

No, I tell you what.

Last time I left a pizza here,

it magically disappeared.

I mean, it's just like

leavin' candy around me.

It's not gonna be all right.

I'm gonna... chomp it up !

- You see what I'm sayin' ?

- Look.

There's two kinds of people

that get through that door.

People wearin' handcuffs.

- Yeah.

- People wearin' a badge.

You don't have on either.

Well, I don't...

I don't have a badge

or handcuffs, so...

Officer Carlson.

We want to flip

that card right over.

Oh, sorry.

Just got it.

Uh, uh, excuse me.

Officer ? Officer ?

The guys in Homicide

ordered this pizza

about a hour ago.

Okay.

[ Softly ]

I don't want to leave them

with Shamu over there.

Okay.

Um, sir, I'm not sure

what you want me to do.

Take them.

Sir, I'm on duty.

I can't do that.

No, yes you can.

Please take them. Thank you.

Okay. Well, sir...

Thank you very much.

Ahh !

Break it down.

Razzmatazz.

Bop-bop. Bop.

Two-time. Left !

Pow ! Work it !

Break it down.

Get around.

Pa-pow ! Oh, yeah.

Pow ! Left leg !

Pow ! Bring it around.

Bump !

Bump, bump, bump.

Walk.

Uh-huh !

You hid a diamond

in a police station ?

I didn't know

it was a police station.

So look, can you

change the I.D. or not ?

Well, sure.

But aren't they gonna be

suspicious of a pizza man

with a security clearance ?

I'm not goin' back

as a pizza man.

- What are you goin' as ?

- A cop.

A cop.

Yeah, a new transfer.

That's why I need that I.D.

and a new file for detective.

You, uh...

Why detective ?

That's where the rock is.

Oh, well.

It's gonna be expensive.

[ Scoffs ]

Uncle Lou, I thought

we was like family.

Yeah, well,

"like family"

is not family.

If you were family,

you'd want it for free,

right ? [ Chuckles ]

Man, well you ain't changed.

I'll see you later.

[ Indistinct ]

[ Chattering

On Police Radio ]

[ Officer ]

Twenty-eight, code six.

Get your hands up !

[ Miles ]

Get down. Grab him !

Put some damn clothes on.

Get your butt-naked ass down.

Get your

butt-naked ass down.

He's butt-naked

and he's stinkin' !

Oh, somebody give him

some clothes. He's hidin'

a gun in his ass !

- [ Hissing ]

- Get on the ground.

Get on the ground. Now.

That's it. Do it now.

Don't I know you ?

Freeze !

Cuff 'em.

Yeah, cuff his ass.

Now, I'm gonna cuff you

like that, clack !

All right, now I'm

the good cop. You act up,

I'll turn into the bad one.

Freeze !

Get 'em up.

Spread your legs now.

I'm a officer of the law.

[ Chuckles ]

Any sign of Deacon ?

Last I heard,

he was pullin' rip jobs

in Carson.

I warned you

about that guy.

That you did.

He's gonna know you're out.

Oh, well.

This is purely cosmetic.

It won't check out.

Oh, don't worry.

I'll be out of there

in an hour, max.

Thanks.

Good luck.

Oh, oh.

Hey there, Officer Dog.

I'm a detective.

[ Beeping ]

Sorry, sir.

- She's never done that.

- Must be the pastrami.

- [ Softly ] Bitch.

- [ Barking ]

[ Dings ]

- Are you goin' up ?

- Yeah. Yeah. Up.

Uh, third floor.

Appreciate it.

[ Elevator Door Shuts ]

What ?

What ?

[ Sighs ]

[ Dinging ]

[ Man ] The vehicle

belonged to your friend, but

you don't remember his name ?

Now, do you

have a last name ?

Oh, man, these cuffs

are tight, man ! Bro.

I know, bro.

Miss Green ! Miss Green ?

Could you please tell this man

to loosen these cuffs ?

[ Coughs ]

Man, I can't feel

my fingers, man.

I'm serious. Please ?

I know it.

I know.

Detective ?

Not so tight.

Maybe I could loosen 'em up

a little bit.

Okay.

Thank you.

Hello ?

Hello ?

Great lawyer there.

Top of the line.

There you go.

- [ Screaming ]

- [ Grunting ]

[ Flushes Toilet ]

- [ Grunts ]

- He's in here !

Jesus !

Whoa !

How y'all doin' ?

Hey.

Oh, not again,

Carlson.

Guy body-slammed me, sir.

[ Officer ]

Maybe he likes you, Carlson.

- [ Miles ]

He did what to you ?

- Get him up out of here.

What were you thinkin' ?

What the hell...

Man, that's not smart.

- [ Miles ]

Get him out of here.

- [ Officer ] Come on.

Come on !

What the hell

happened up there ?

Up here ?

Oh, uh...

I caught him trying

to escape through

the ventilation system.

- Who the hell are you ?

- Oh, uh...

[ Clears Throat ]

Malone. Just transferred.

Right there. Yeah.

Check that out.

- Bam !

- [ Officer ]

Do you know Malone ?

No, sir.

Nobody told me

about it.

- [ Clears Throat ]

Uh, guys.

- Hmm ?

Hmm.

Sorry, ma'am.

Sorry.

'Scuse me.

[ Officer ]

All right, clear it out.

Oh, um...

Oh, let me flush, please.

[ Toilet Flushes ]

Didn't know, uh...

You might not want

to go in there.

You got some paperwork

there for me, Malone ?

All right. Yeah.

We've been putting in

a request for a new detective

for eight months.

Suddenly you just turn up.

I'll never understand

the system.

Ooh. Yeah.

Downtown bumble-dicks.

Burglary, huh ?

Sixteen citations.

Mayor's commendation.

[ Chuckles ]

You worked out

of West Covina, huh ?

Uh, yeah, well,

that's what it says

right there.

You look familiar, Malone.

Have we met before ?

Mm, no.

You wouldn't happen

to be in a bowling league,

would you ?

That's it.

You're a bowler.

I try.

Yeah, well we could

use a guy in Burglary.

- Carlson !

- Huh ? Right here, yeah.

[ Stammers ]

I thought I was going

to be assigned to a desk.

Right up in here.

Right up in here !

Are you kiddin' me ?

Guy like you ?

No, you belong

on the street.

Oh, and also, listen.

Carlson needs a partner

with some experience.

- He just got promoted.

- Hey, Chief, I just got a call.

Carlson, Malone's joining us.

So take him with you,

show him around, and uh...

- Hi.

- Carlson, let Malone do

all the handcuffing, okay ?

I appreciate that, yeah.

Right.

- I'll be reviewing these.

- All right, well, uh,

this is the bullpen here.

That's Booking up there.

Then the, uh, holding cells

are down that way.

You want to see 'em ?

Uh, seen one,

seen 'em all.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Sure.

That's my desk here, sir.

- Nice desk.

- Thanks. Yeah.

Uh, let's see.

Okay. Brass is on five.

Robbery-Homicide,

they're on three.

Over there, that's

the tag-and-bag. Sir ?

- Sir ? Through those doors,

that's the 10-17.

- Roger.

- Carlson.

Show him the rest later.

- Yes, sir.

Oh, yeah. Come on.

Uh, where ?

Oh, we got a call.

Burglary. Sorry.

Here, I'll take this.

Look, you mean

we gotta go outside ?

That's where the crime is at.

No, no, no, no.

See, I just got here.

That's not a good thing.

I got to do work

up in here so that...

No, I'm your partner.

so that I know what's

goin' on up there !

I might need backup.

So how long

you been in Burglary ?

Oh, me ?

All my life, man.

All my life.

I heard the chief say

you got 16 citations.

Yeah. Yeah, well...

That's incredible !

Sixteen.

That's what happens

when your Uncle Lou

writes your file.

Hmm. Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

Um, you can ride

up front if you want.

I knew that.

[ Carlson ]

Just got to be real careful

for pedestrians comin' out here.

Walkin'

around down here.

Am I clear

to the right ?

You're clear.

Am I clear ?

Okay.

Yeah, I just

made detective.

No kiddin' ?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I worked Traffic

for three years, you know.

It was pretty cool.

I got pretty good at it,

you know. Oh.

[ Brakes Squeal ]

Um, yeah, you know, you don't

have to stop for the yellow.

You could just

drive right through.

It's all right.

[ Chuckles ] Sir, not

if you've seen some of

the accidents I've seen.

No, thanks.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

- [ Horn Beeping ]

- Okay, well there's

your green right there.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

- [ Engine Chugging ]

- Can I ask you

a personal question ?

- Yeah, sure !

- How many times

did you take the test ?

What test ?

You know, the test.

For detective.

Oh !

Yeah, that one.

One time.

Yeah.

Really ?

Aced it !

You know...

Really ?

Yeah, took it out.

Wow !

Took me five tries.

I, uh...

I did well on the written part,

but my performance reviews

weren't so hot, I mean...

Look, how many times

did it take you to get

your driver's license, man ?

Please. Wake me up

when we get there.

Yes, sir.

[ Pretends To Snore ]

Goodness me ! Whoo !

Sorry.

It's a nice suit, sir.

It's really cool.

Oh, I appreciate it.

Yeah, you know ?

Appreciate it.

Got any music ?

Oh. Yeah. Sure.

I like to jam.

[ Clicks On

Car Radio ]

♪♪ [ Rap ]

Just so long as we can

hear the dispatcher.

♪ Takin' my back

My boy's outta whack ♪

That's good.

I never heard

this station.

Kind of funky, huh ?

You like that, huh ?

Ba-ad. Yeah.

♪ I shouldn't have let you

walk right out of my life ♪

♪ I should have

treated you right ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ I should have been

by your side ♪♪

[ Man ]

Last night, these shelves

were loaded with Elites.

Just came in yesterday.

Now they're gone.

Three dozen gorgeous rims.

They didn't take

anything else ?

No, they went

for my good stuff.

Chrome with gold trim.

Five grand worth.

Oh.

[ Carlson ]

What about the alarm ?

What about it ?

It went off,

but it took you guys

two hours to get here !

My wheels are probably

rolling around Tijuana

about now.

Here. Here's

where they came in.

Looks like they

just broke the glass,

opened the handle,

crawled in the window,

you know...

Exactly.

- Shimmied down the shelf.

- Carlson, this is

a waste of time.

What ?

That's not

how they got in.

- 'Course it is.

- No, cut it out, Frankie.

That's not how they got in.

This is the spot right here.

That's how I would have came in.

No, no, no.

If I was a thief !

If I was a thief.

Skylight.

Just cut the alarm

from the inside.

I could take my time.

- But w-w-why take your time ?

- Oh, why would I take my time ?

It's heavy.

Now, you tell me.

How long would it take

to you to carry...

three dozen of those

out of the store and load 'em

in the back of a truck ?

[ Carlson ] Long time.

It would take

a long time.

A very long time.

But they probably had

three or four guys

workin' the damn thing.

Zip. Zip, zip the shit up.

Zip. Frank, hush.

'Cause you know better.

Come on.

Don't lie to me.

I'm the man.

I-I'm the man,

Frank.

[ Chuckles ]

Come on.

You're the man.

Frank, your 5,000,

sorry to tell you,

is worth less

than two on the street.

Which don't go four ways

with much juice

once you rent a truck.

And to rent a truck,

that requires what ?

Credit card...

driver's license...

Unless, of course,

you got

your own truck.

He's not gonna let us

search his truck.

What do you mean,

"let us" ?

We're the police.

Detective,

we need a warrant

to do that.

We don't even

need a key.

[ Laughing ]

- Yeah.

- Detective, you can't do that.

I'm pretty...

- It's unconstitutional.

- Look at that. Look at this.

Voila !

Look at that !

Solved a crime

my first day on the job !

Uh, we...

We bad detectives.

There they are !

Sir, filing

a false report...

is a very serious crime.

Oh. Whoa, no, uh...

This is...

Carlson.

I'll handle this.

Bring your

weeble-wobble ass

on over here.

You like snacks ?

Yeah. Nothing

makes me happier.

You're gonna be snackin'

on the bottom of this shoe

if this shit happens again.

Now, you see

them ridges ?

Yeah.

These ridges

are going to be imprinted

on the back of your ass...

permanently...

if this happens again.

You-You understand ?

Thoroughly understand you.

That's right.

Every time you look at your ass,

there's gonna be a print there.

It's gonna remind you

of me and my partner,

and for you lying.

Right.

Don't want to see

those ridges.

All right, listen.

Stop eating cold cuts,

'cause it's seeping.

It's coming

through your pores.

All right ?

- Oh, okay. Will do.

- I put one ridge

on your ass. Pap !

Let's roll.

No, it's cool.

Let's get out of here.

Uh, yeah, Detective.

I know I'm a little bit

new at this,

but I thought we were

supposed to arrest

the bad guys.

Nah.

Now he owes us one.

So, that's how it works.

We let the little fish go...

so that we can catch

the big fish later.

Mm-hmm.

I got it !

I got it !

Yeah.

Um, do you mind

if I drive ?

I know a shortcut.

Uh, yeah.

Okay.

You might want

to buckle up.

[ Screaming ]

♪♪ [ Hip-Hop ]

Are you

in a hurry, sir ?

No.

Just testing your car.

Balancing out your shit.

[ Miles ]

When was the last time

you got all up on this thing ?

I've never gotten

all up on anything, sir.

Yeah, well,

sometimes you got to feed

some speed to your ride...

every once in a while.

Sir ? Sir ?

Watch it ! Watch it !

[ Over P.A. ]

Hey ! This is the police !

Move your busted-ass vehicle.

Move, move, move,

move, move !

This is the L.A.P.D.

We'll pop one in your ass.

We got guns and shit !

I could get used to this !

I like !

I like !

Used to what ?

Driving. Yeah, see,

my last partner

did all the driving.

Who was your partner ?

I don't want

to talk about it.

Why ?

[ Tires Squealing ]

Hey, look, man,

I'm beat, okay ?

There's just some places

I can't talk about.

You wouldn't understand.

If we're going to be partners,

we ought to communicate.

This thing's like a marriage.

No. No, this is

nothing like a marriage.

Well, what is it like ?

It's more like

a one-night stand.

Wham, bam,

thank you, Officer.

It's like that ?

It's like that.

We're just gonna

fight crime and zip

the rest of that shit up.

Are you married ?

Girlfriend ?

No. Not anymore.

What happened ?

Work got in the way.

Okay.

See ?

[ Tires Squealing ]

[ Carlson ]

Looks like somebody

took out a fire hydrant, sir.

I'll handle this.

I gotta get back.

I got a headache.

We're on duty, you know ?

We'll get back when we get back.

But I need a aspirin !

A big one !

Like a hockey puck.

Come here for a second ?

Sir, sir, relax.

Sir, just take it easy

for a second, okay ?

I'm gonna get you...

Sir ? I'm gonna get...

Sir.

Morning, Officer.

O-Oh ! Yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

Morning. Um,

where's your aspirins ?

- It's back there

by the soda machines.

- Appreciate it.

Right. So you come east...

I want to know how the car

hit the fire hydrant.

- [ Whistles ]

Open the register !

- Don't shoot !

- Come on, man.

- Oh, man !

Come on.

The safe too.

Andale, andale !

[ Thief Screams ]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Screaming ]

Come on !

37-King-5,

shots fired.

Request help.

418 West 5th Street.

- [ Clicking ]

- [ Yelps ]

- Detective Malone.

You okay ?

- Oh, shit !

Shit !

Get back ! Back !

Get back !

Come on ! Come on.

I don't need this.

I don't want no...

Oh, ho !

Freeze !

- Put your hands

on the pavement.

- But...

Put your hands

on the pavement !

There is no pavement.

Well, then, put 'em on

the Oodles of Noodles.

Put 'em on

the noodles !

Chicken or beef ?

Chicken.

Cool.

Cool is good.

Hold on.

Miles ?

- Tulley ?

- [ Laughing ]

Tulley...

Nigga,

what are you doin' ?

What the hell am I doing here ?

What the hell are you doing ?

- I'm freakin'

working over here.

- [ Carlson ] Detective Malone.

Shh !

What ?

- I'm comin' in !

- Put the gun down !

- Hmm ?

- Put the gun down !

- Detective Malone, talk to me.

- Go out the back way !

Go out toward... Go.

The back way.

The back way.

Huh ?

[ Muffled ]

Go out the back way !

Detective, talk to me.

- Take two steps back.

- Me ?

What the hell...

Go ! Go.

- Hold it !

- Ya !

Hold your fire !

Hold...

You okay ?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, damn.

[ Siren Blaring ]

[ Siren Blaring ]

Shit !

[ Grunts ]

- Listen, it's

a dead end, all right ?

- No shit !

He's down behind those

dumpsters. He's freaking out,

sir, and he's got a gun.

- Mm !

- Oh !

Back up !

Get SWAT up here.

Sharpshooters can

take him out from the roof.

Yeah.

No ! No sharpshooters.

- Why the hell not ?

- Miles, what are

you doing here, man ?

- Who's he talkin' to ?

- I don't know.

He high, man.

He's hallucinating,

smoking that shit.

He's high.

Put down the gun

and come out !

[ Angry Sighing ]

Hold this.

- I'm going in.

- What are you doing ?

What, are you crazy ?

- [ Barks ]

- Miles, what are you

doing here, man ?

I just want to talk to you

before somebody gets hurt.

Go away !

Okay now, son,

please put down the gun.

Son, come on.

Aw, it hurts my heart, son...

Shut up ! Shut up !

to see a kid that has

so much potential...

You're smarter

than that.

I'm comin' out !

Put the...

Hold it. Listen, man.

All right, now, goddamn it !

What are you doing ?

What the hell

are you doing, Tulley ?

You got me out here

in this shit. Look,

how many times I told you ?

How many times I told you,

forget the safe ?

Go straight

for the cash drawer.

Get in and get out.

Oh, great.

He's standing in the way.

Now I can't even get a shot.

- I can't either.

- Why are you hitting

mom-and-pop stores anyway ?

Look, you're a driver, man.

You got skills, Tulley.

You can be there out

on the road doing your shit !

But I'm desperate,

because I need some money too !

And why the freak

are we whispering ?

- [ Chattering On Police Radio ]

- Back up, nigga.

No, Tulley, no.

I saw you.

What are they

talking about ?

I don't know.

Look, Tulley. I'm working

on something here, and you're

blowing it for me, man.

I'm sorry, man.

I'm messing up.

I'm messing up, man.

A-Ah... Okay.

It's all right.

[ Stammering ]

Look, I'm not mad at you.

I'm not mad at you,

but you're going to have

to give me the gun...

and let me

arrest you.

No.

Tulley, come on, man.

Listen.

I'll give you ten grand.

You know I'm good for it.

Mm, I'm thinking

like 50, man.

Tulley, now 50 ?

That's pushing it, man !

Damn !

All right, 20, okay ?

And you'll spend

one night in jail.

Now, Tulley,

that's the best I can do.

That's the best I can do.

Mm.

All right, fine. Fine.

I'm keeping my gun, though.

You cannot let me arrest you

and keep the gun, man !

Come on !

Damn, I just got this, man.

This is hard to find.

Yeah, it's hard to find,

but damn it, you're going

to have to give up the gun.

Now, what you wanna

do, Tulley ? Okay ?

You're gonna give up the gun,

or do you want to have 'em

put six or seven bullets

in your ass, man ?

Okay.

Now give me that gun !

No-o-o !

Don't just hand it to me !

I got to

take it from you.

They're watching.

They're looking.

All right,

all right.

Now, this is gonna

hurt a little bit.

Huh ?

I say, this is gonna

hurt a little bit.

Okay.

Oh. Oh !

- Holy Jesus !

- That's incredible.

[ Groaning ]

Remember, you don't

know me anymore.

I sure don't.

You didn't used to be

so violent.

So, he's like,

"Carlson, take my jacket !"

He steps out.

He's like, "I got to do this."

We're like,

"What are you doing, sir ?"

He's like, "Believe that."

Just goes right down the alley.

Right up to the guy.

Next thing you know,

he's taking the guy's gun.

Dropped the guy with a punch.

Just leveled him.

I mean, blink,

and you would have

missed it.

Malone !

Malone, in my office.

Now !

Not you, Carlson.

[ Door Slams ]

Been looking

through your record.

How come I never

heard of you, Malone ?

I was undercover,

on the down low.

We need a new guy to head up

Burglary. That's the real

reason you're here, isn't it ?

- Uh, yeah, sure.

- It's no secret. Burglary's

been a problem division...

ever since we lost

our lead detective

last year.

Now, usually we promote from

within the ranks, but...

I think these guys

need someone new.

So, if you want the job,

you got it.

- Excuse me ?

- You're the new lead detective,

Burglary division.

- Me ?

- Well,

technically there's

a 30-day qualifying period...

before I can

"make it official,"

but with your record,

I don't think there's

going to be any problem.

Well, say something,

for Christ's sake !

Um...

Uh, thank you !

Let's party ?

[ Door Opening ]

What is this ?

High school ?

All right, listen up.

As of now, Detective Malone

is Burglary's new

acting lead detective.

- Get these processed, A.S.A.P.

- Yes, sir.

Uh, thank you.

Carlson, Carlson.

I got things I gotta do.

Okay.

I'll catch up

with you later.

Okay.

Hey. I'll take these.

You know what

to do with these ?

Sure I do.

Okay, great, sir.

Sorry.

[ Woman ] Captain Penelli ?

[ Man ]

I'm busy right now.

Jeez.

[ Moaning ]

[ Gagging ]

- Oh, man ! Mm.

- [ Gagging ]

[ Keyboard Keys Clacking ]

Oh, shit !

[ Echoing ]

Damn !

[ Echoing ]

Malone.

What ? Yeah.

What ?

How do you want me

to handle the rotation ?

Uh, rotation.

I don't understand.

What do you mean, rotation ?

The shifts.

[ Chuckles ]

Look, Hardcastle.

I can't figure out

everything on the first day,

all right ?

I was noticing

that you guys

had a leak up here.

What's that about ?

One of the hot water

pipes burst.

- Flooded all the vents.

- Vents ?

They had to flush out

the whole system.

Big pain in the ass.

This must be the new guy

everybody's talkin' about.

Captain Penelli,

Detective Malone.

Malone, Penelli.

I hear great things.

It's a pleasure

to meet you.

[ Moaning ]

[ Sniffing ]

N-N-Nice to meet

you too, there, sir.

Very nice to meet you.

You know, glad to be here.

Gotta go !

He's a strange one.

Oh, yeah.

Place is closed.

I said, we're closed.

I should've locked up.

Nice to see you, Lou.

I'm lookin' for Miles.

Yeah, well, uh,

I haven't seen him.

I got this message

from his mother,

and it's really important.

Oh. Well,

I still haven't seen him.

[ Groans ]

Shh.

Be quiet.

Damn, you're good.

[ Pats Lou's Back ]

You are good.

♪ These days

I'm on a new crime phase ♪

♪ Blinded by criminal minds

We smokin' on your head ♪

♪ That's right

Uh-huh ♪

♪ These days

I'm on a new crime phase ♪

♪ Blinded by criminal minds

We smokin' on your head ♪

♪ All by criminal minds ♪

- ♪ I can't help it ♪

- ♪ I can't help it ♪

- ♪ I'm on my way ♪

- ♪ I'm on my way ♪

♪ To pick up the pieces ♪

♪ It's the only way

I see myself gettin'

to the other side ♪

Good morning. Listen up.

Word is that Jean LaFleur...

is bringing a big shipment

of heroin through town.

They're hot for him

down in San Diego.

San Diego P.D.'s

done an excellent job...

shutting down the harbor

and the airports on him.

[ Murmuring ]

[ Clattering ]

Malone !

Detective Malone just

transferred from West Covina.

He's gonna be heading up

our Burglary division.

Detective, tell us

a little about your plans.

I...

Well, I plan

to fight crime.

[ Karate Yells ]

You know,

shit like that.

Great, then.

Great. All right, does

anybody have any questions

for Detective Malone ?

Yeah, I got a question.

What do you think

about the P-31 ?

P-31 ?

What do you think ?

- I think it's

a piece of shit.

- Diaz.

What I mean to say is,

we've all been having problems

with the P-31, right ?

I'm just wondering what

the new lead detective here

plans to do about it.

Well, all right.

Well, uh, Diaz, is it ? Diaz ?

[ Diaz ] With a "Z."

What do you think we

should do about it, Diaz ?

I think

we should scrap it.

How many people think

we should scrap the P-31 ?

- [ Murmuring ]

- [ Miles ] There it is.

Scrapped. You know why ?

'Cause you want it scrapped.

It's out of there. P-31.

Out of there. No more. Gone.

You want 31 flavors ?

Baskin and Robbins is where

you want to be. Be cool.

That's my partner.

Yeah.

[ Diaz ] Oh, yeah ?

Detective ?

What is it ?

- I'd like to work

with the P-40.

- Yeah, the P-40's good.

P-40 it is !

What the hell's he doing ?

We just got those things.

He's shaking things up.

Maybe that's exactly

what we need.

[ Applause Continues ]

I'm not a cop.

[ Hardcastle ]

Malone.

This Tulley asshole's

been screaming

he wants to talk to you.

He's down at Interrogation.

Uh, okay. Right away.

I'll talk with him.

[ Whistles ]

Interrogation's

this way, hmm ?

Knew that.

Is he runnin' his mouth ?

So he says he has information

about another robbery,

but he says he'll only talk

to the officer who arrested him.

Okay, well, uh,

I'll talk to him, alone.

We'll be watching.

Okay.

What the hell's goin' on, man ?

You said I'd only spend

one night in jail !

Shut up !

[ Mumbling ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Mumbling, Grunting

Continue ]

Shut up !

Shut up.

What'd you want to say ?

What is it ?

You said I was only gonna spend

one night in jail.

It's only been one night.

Where's my 50 grand ?

Fifty...

I said 20 grand.

Well maybe it's 50 now,

'cause I need...

[ Screaming ]

[ Groaning, Yelling ]

Detectives, I've been

assigned to Mr. Tulley.

Great.

That's him.

[ Shouting ]

Oh, my God !

What in the world...

[ Woman ]

What's going on ?

- Help !

- What is this ?

Oh, my God !

Help !

I'll tell you everything !

Take your hands

off my client !

[ Grunting ]

It's no use.

He ain't talkin'.

That's because you have

your hand over his mouth !

Mmm !

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think we, uh,

accomplished enough for one day.

Wait a second.

This guy said he has

information on another case.

Now, I wanna know,

are you jerking

our chain or not ?

I'm not jerkin'

your chain, fella.

This guy Logan

owes me $50,000.

If I don't get it soon,

I'm talking !

All right !

Who's Logan, and what

do you know about him ?

All I can tell you, sir,

is that he's gay.

Gay ! Gay !

- That's it.

I had enough of this...

- We certainly have.

Come with me.

You're gonna be hearing

from my office, Detective.

He made me bite

my tongue. Mm-hmm.

Come here.

Next time,

use a phone book on him.

And he took

my shoelaces.

Hearing from your office.

Look how

she's all over him.

Oh !

And then he said I was ugly

and I couldn't read good.

Malone.

Oh, hey, man.

What's up ?

Where the hell you been ?

Some guy's been

callin' for you.

Who was it ?

Said he was your old partner.

Said he hopes you found

what you've been lookin' for,

because your health benefits

are about to expire,

whatever the hell

that's supposed to mean.

Shit !

Bingo !

Yeah !

What is it with you

and the heating ducts, sir ?

Um...

[ Shivers ]

Cold, Carlson.

You don't feel that ?

Very cold. But I'm busy.

What is it you want ?

Well, uh, I just tried

to pull up your records,

and I couldn't find any Malone.

Are you worrying about...

That's-That's probably because

it was spelled, um...

I know when I had put

the name in the list...

Sir, the badge number

doesn't exist. Yeah.

Let me talk to you for a minute.

I just wanna find out

what's going on.

You're gonna find out.

Let me just talk to you

for a sec.

Now, look.

What I'm about to tell you

is classified.

You tell anyone,

I will bust your ass

down to parade detail.

I've been on that detail.

You've been on it ?

That's permanent

horseshit patrol.

Yes, sir.

Okay, this place

is a cesspool.

No !

Yeah, but listen.

I'm not from West Covina.

I'm from Internal Affairs.

Oh, man !

I know.

Shh...

[ Mumbling ]

All right ?

This place is a cesspool.

I can't believe

I didn't notice.

Well, it is !

I mean, it-it doesn't seem

like a cesspool.

Well, believe it, man !

There's a lot of dirty shit

going on here.

That's why they sent

me here, all right ?

The supercop here.

They said,

"Go in there and investigate.

Do what you do.

"Find another supercop.

You all supercop up as a team

and crack down the shit.

Crack it down."

And that's what

I'm here to do.

I mean, are we the only guys

that know about it ?

Jesus, we're in the shit now !

Shh, shh !

[ Grunting ]

Okay.

You are a good cop,

Carlson.

Okay.

But damn it, man,

you just dug too deep.

Yes, sir, okay.

What do you

want me to do ?

Good thing you asked.

Keep your eyes open, okay ?

I need you to be here, okay ?

Okay.

And watch my back.

Watch my back.

You got it, sir.

Okay ?

No, the other way.

Go back. Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

Shit !

Yeah, Evidence room.

Shit !

Malone !

Hmm ?

Oh, there you are.

I just got a call.

There's a 4-13 in progress

at the airport.

Well, y'all go ahead.

I'll catch up.

Bullshit you'll catch up.

Someone just stole

a museum exhibit

from a cargo hold.

That's my problem ?

You're lead detective.

I want you to get

you ass out there now !

But...

The F.B.I. and Customs Service

is already on the case.

Why are you

standing out here ?

They won't let me in.

The Feds are all over.

That's bullshit.

It'll take a while.

These boxes contained

an entire Egyptian temple.

Excuse me, here.

Let me see this.

Man !

And who are you ?

Uh, Malone.

L.A.P.D.

Agent Gray, F.B.I.

We'll let you boys in

after we're done.

Look at all this stuff.

Look at this.

I mean, they nearly destroyed

all this stuff, and they

didn't take none of it.

Look, Officer Malone...

Detective.

I really don't have time to

stand here and hold your hand.

You're out of your jurisdiction

and you're over your head.

Oh, I'm over my head ?

No, I'm over your head,

'cause your head's up your ass.

You're interfering with

a federal investigation,

Officer.

Now, if you and your bunch

wanna feel important,

you can help secure

the outer perimeter.

Are we clear ?

Yeah. We clear.

And please,

tell your men not to touch

anything on their way out.

It's like that ?

Yeah, it's like that.

[ Carlson ]

"Head up your ass."

That was great.

I couldn't believe

you said that.

He called me "officer."

I am lead detective.

I have 16 citations.

You think that shit

comes easy ?

Come on.

The guy's nothing but

an F.B.I. asshole.

He thinks we're good for nothing

but sucking down doughnuts.

Screw him.

Let them chase

their own goddamn temple.

They weren't lookin'

for no temple.

They were lookin' for drugs.

Drugs ?

Yes, drugs.

It's the oldest trick

in the book.

You smuggle it in,

boost it before

it hits customs.

Huh ? Right ? Right ?

Make it look like a heist.

That's how all

the big boys do it.

All they have to do...

is look for a truck

with the letter "B" on it.

What do you mean, "B" ?

Bonded.

Bonded trucks can get

into bonded warehouses.

Let me ask you something.

How do you know all this stuff ?

Did a little work

in bonded warehouses.

All right, then.

So what are we waiting for ?

I mean, let's do something,

all right ?

Call in air support.

Dispatch,

this is 37-King-5.

Put me through to

South Bay Air Support.

[ Man On Police Radio ]

10-12, I've got

a white panel truck,

B-9-6, southbound on Wheeler

near the Manhattan Beach

intersection.

Roger. That's it.

We're close.

- [ Tires Screeching ]

- Whoa !

Now you're in a hurry ?

Well, sometimes you gotta feed

a little speed to your ride.

You know what I'm saying ?

[ Miles ]

Here we go.

Check out the driver.

Yeah.

Five foot six,

greasy hair, messy,

very disheveled...

Are you a hairdresser

or a detective, man ?

That's a jailhouse tat.

Driver's did

a stretch somewhere.

[ Carlson ]

10-12, requesting backup.

L.A.P.D.,

this is Agent Gray, F.B.I.

Stand down.

I repeat, stand down.

- This is bullshit.

- Hey, screw them.

Come on ! Let's do it !

Come on, you !

Come on.

Come on.

Come on !

Drop your weapons !

Put 'em down !

Don't move !

Stand still !

Shit !

- Put 'em down !

- Malone, take him !

He's yours !

[ Groans ]

Don't you run from me !

Don't you run !

All right,

let's see those hands,

huh, butterball ?

Come here !

You want to make me run ?

[ Groans ]

Come back here !

[ Tires Screech,

Horn Honks ]

Aah !

Come back here !

Don't do that !

Bring your ass here !

Come here !

- I'm not playin' !

- [ Groans ]

I'm not playin' games !

Come here !

- [ Screaming ]

- Everything's okay.

Don't worry. I'm a cop.

All right ?

It's all right.

All right ?

Damn !

Don't you know better

than to run from the police ?

- I do.

- You got me tired.

You know that ?

I don't like to get tired.

When I get tired,

that means I got ass to whup.

And I think that's what

I'm about to do.

Get your ass up !

[ Indistinct

Police Radio Chatter ]

Bingo.

That's the shit.

[ Applause ]

We showed them.

We showed them, and that's

what I wanted to do, you know ?

Book this into Evidence.

Exactly. Evidence, exactly.

I'm gonna go up with it.

No, no, no.

I want you to interrogate

those men right now.

Oh, no, no.

See, I need to go up

with this stuff...

and book it into

Evidence personally.

Why ?

I gotta go through

for clues and shit.

First, you gotta

interrogate the suspects.

Find out where they were going.

Then when you get them to talk,

you can go through

all the evidence you want.

But, sir, know that...

If I get the clue,

I think it would make

for a better ass-whupping

in the interrogation room.

Let's hear it

for Detective Malone !

[ Chattering, Indistinct ]

[ Groans ]

That's it !

I want a lawyer.

You cops can't do this.

I got news for you.

I ain't a cop.

Oh, you... Come on !

God, he's good.

I checked him out.

West Covina never heard of him.

So you know.

Know what ?

He's Internal Affairs.

What the hell

you talkin' about ?

He's not I.A.

He's not ?

- Hell no. He's F.B.I.

- [ Screams ]

But he hates the F.B.I.

That's just to throw you off.

You think this whole thing's

an accident ?

He knew about the heroin thing

from the start. F.B.I.

probably planted him here,

thinking he'd get first jump

on the burglary call,

afraid we'd screw it up.

Pencil-dicks.

Wow.

[ Groaning ]

- You don't get that kind

of training at the academy.

- No, that's old school, man.

You're crushing my head !

[ Groaning ]

That's federal government

training.

Like Navy SEAL stuff,

yeah.

Come on.

Let's go give him a hand.

All right ! All right !

I'll talk ! I'll talk !

Oh, man !

[ Door Buzzer Sounds ]

Oh.

Ooh, look at you.

- It was all worth it

for you, baby.

- Malone !

Oh !

[ Groans ]

Malone ! What the hell

are you doing up there ?

Um, I'm just so happy...

that we keeping these drugs

off the street.

- Well, get over it. They're

going right back out again.

- Why ?

'Cause the F.B.I.

wants to take it

to their lab right away.

Roll it out.

But...

[ Straining ]

Malone, come on !

Let's go.

Come on, Malone.

Detective.

Malone.

That heroin belongs

to Jean LaFleur.

We've been after him

for five years,

but he keeps shifting

his operations between

the U.S. and Mexico.

We're taking it down

to our lab right now.

I don't think that's

such a good idea.

Why not ?

Um... Why don't we just

keep it here with us ?

LaFleur doesn't know

we have it.

We could use it for bait.

You mean a sting ?

Exactly !

A sting.

Now, LaFleur

expects these drugs to be

in San Diego in three hours.

What kind of sting operation

can you get off the ground

before then ?

The driver told me one of

the guys on the truck was new.

You can replace him

with somebody else,

then catch LaFleur when

he goes to pick up the drugs.

Bam !

Got him !

Let me get this straight.

You're volunteering

to escort these drugs

right into the hands...

of the most

dangerous drug dealer

in the Northern Hemisphere ?

- Hell no !

- What do you need

to make it work, Malone ?

Me ?

Absolutely !

You're the man for the job.

F.B.I.'s gonna have

tactical command, but

we're gonna follow your lead.

That's very brave of you,

Detective. Let's get goin'.

We don't have much time.

Come on.

Way to go, Malone.

Way to go.

I'm just suggestin'

some shit y'all can do.

We need more men like you.

All right, hurry up.

Go. Get out of here

before somebody sees you.

Wait ! Hold up.

Wait a minute.

You wanted to go.

I'm gettin' you out of here.

Go !

No, you wouldn't still be here

unless that diamond was here.

I want my cut !

Ain't nothin' to cut.

I'm tryin' to, but I gotta

get the diamond first.

Well, go get it.

I'll wait.

I'm tryin' to.

But first,

I gotta run this sting

on this drug dealer.

- You're a goddamn liar !

- Would I make this shit up ?

Now, go, Tulley !

Get out of here. I'll

see you at Lou's tomorrow.

I want to talk about this.

Wait a minute. I don't know

what you're doin',

Get out of here.

but it ain't gonna work.

Hey ! Let me get

my gun back ! Ow !

Hey, look, maybe this isn't

a good idea, you know ?

Sir, this is a great idea.

It'll work.

It's brilliant.

Now, LaFleur's gonna

be lookin' for this.

We know what

we're doing, Detective.

- Oh, I'm a detective now ?

- Detective, can you

give us a level, please ?

- [ Barking ]

- [ Feedback In Headphones ]

- [ Gray ] All right.

The objective here is to have

these individuals look upon you

as if you were one of them,

a member of

the criminal underworld.

So it's important that

your actions, your speech...

and your general

mode of behavior

is all congruent...

with their expectation

of a fellow criminal.

Oh, okay, I get it.

Sort of walk the walk. Yeah.

That's right.

You have to look, act

and even think

like a criminal.

And you're gonna have

to change your

speech patterns too.

Most criminals like to use

slang terminology, profanity

and so forth,

especially with regard to

police and authority figures.

Oh, you mean like,

"Shut the hell up,

you dickless F.B.I." ?

That's right.

That'll do.

"You stupid-ass... "

- I said, that'll do.

Enough !

- No, "You tight-ass... "

[ Penelli ]

All right, listen up.

LaFleur's a killer.

If he senses anything amiss,

Malone is going to be

in one hell of a tight spot.

I got it.

We're gonna act in concert

with the F.B.I. today.

Carlson, if anything

happens to me, forget

everything I ever told you.

You mean about

Internal Affairs ?

No, Carlson.

I mean about everything.

[ Gray ] Detective, saddle up.

Okay ?

Okay.

Good luck.

Carlson, remember.

Forget it.

Time to go.

Detective, if my client gets

so much as a scratch on him

while he's in your custody,

I won't stop until

your badge is revoked

and you're thrown in jail.

Okay ?

You got me ?

You can't touch me.

[ Horn Honks ]

Ow !

Detective !

He'll be fine, Counselor.

Malone, let's get

this show on the road.

Drive.

Buckle up.

All right, give me video.

[ Driver On Radio ]

Let's get one thing straight.

This is my side over here,

and that's your side

over there.

You stay on your side,

and I'm gonna stay on mine.

Okay ?

Gentlemen, let's keep

the chatter to a minimum.

Hey, you don't like the show,

change the channel.

Hey, keep this channel clear.

♪♪ [ Rap On Car Stereo ]

- Who is this guy ?

- That's Malone.

- I can't drive

if you're gonna do that.

- Drive !

♪♪ [ Continues ]

♪♪

♪♪

All right,

we're comin' up on our exit.

All units, this is Gray.

Fall back. Keep your distance.

♪♪

We're approaching the site now.

L.A.P.D., take the south side.

We'll take the north.

♪♪

♪♪

They're headed into

warehouse three.

Focus in. Closer.

♪♪

[ Engine Shuts Off,

Music Stops ]

This is it.

You're sure ?

Yeah, warehouse three.

All right, Benny, sit tight

and keep your mouth shut.

Yeah, thanks for the tip.

[ Keyboard Keys Clacking ]

What the hell

is Malone doing ?

- They're comin' in.

They're right behind you.

- Get ready. Here he comes.

Ohh !

[ Sighs ]

Whoo ! There's what

I'm talkin' about.

That's the shit.

Yeah, you're right.

That's the shit.

All 500 kilos !

[ Stammering ]

What are you talkin' about ?

Let's get out of here,

'cause I want my cut.

[ Gray ] Do you still got it ?

[ Man ]

We still have a signal.

- They're up.

It's just all distorted.

- But... Can you hear him ?

We can't get out of here, okay ?

They got cops everywhere.

- So ? You're one of 'em.

- No, no, no !

I'm a drug dealer now.

Man, listen to me.

You're a jewel thief.

Shh !

I'm a drug dealer now !

Man, why are you sellin'

this shit when you got that

big diamond in your hand ?

- Just like old times, huh ?

- I don't believe that shit !

- Move over.

- What is this, a reunion ?

Look what we got here, huh ?

Give it up.

Isn't that beautiful ?

Say good-bye.

- Yeah ? Welcome to the party.

- Son of a bitch !

We've lost them.

You know,

I'm gonna enjoy doing you

more than I did Eddie.

- Deacon, man...

- Shut up !

Whoa !

Oh, my God !

Oh, my God !

You know anything about this ?

I don't know shit

about this.

I'm gettin' ready

to throw up.

[ Gray ]

What the hell ?

All units, stand by.

Oh, my God !

What's going on ?

I don't know !

- Tulley ?

- I never know what's goin' on.

Bring it in !

Over here ! Bring it in !

Out of the truck !

Out of the truck !

Come on. Get out.

Come on !

Benny, what's going on ?

- It took longer than I thought.

- What happened to your face ?

[ Benny ]

Nothing. Not a big deal.

Hey.

Who are these two guys ?

Who hired them ?

I did.

You told me to get guys.

I got guys.

Benny, you didn't introduce me.

Hey, how you doin' ?

Pete. Nice to meet you.

Heard a lot about you.

And who might you be ?

Um... Oh.

You don't wanna mess with him.

That's a stone-cold killer.

Yeah, you don't wanna

mess with him.

He's stone cold.

Whoo ! That boy is bad.

I seen him rip somebody's guts

out through their ass...

and their eyes fell out.

Do the move that you do,

the gut-and-eyes move.

All right.

[ Yelling ]

That's where... That's where

the guts went splat.

Just dropped them.

I'm bad.

Naw, I'm bad, baby.

I'll rip your lips off

and kiss my ass with them shits.

- I seen him do it.

- I do that.

That's how I get down, baby.

I'll rip your tongue out

and lick my balls with them.

[ LaFleur ] Shut up.

- Check him out.

- Hmm ?

- Francois, you search him.

- Hey, come on, man.

They're on to him.

We're moving in.

No, wait.

This must be part of his plan.

Malone knows what he's doing.

What plan ?

He's unarmed and outnumbered.

Trust me.

You should see Malone's resume.

This is like a walk

in the park for him.

I must tell you, Pete.

You look the part.

You certainly talk the talk.

But you still stink

like a cop.

[ Tulley ] Damn !

- Damn ! I knew

he was gonna catch us, man.

- Shut up !

He's lyin', man.

That's bullshit. Shut up !

Come on, man !

Just talk to him. We might

get out of here alive.

Shut up !

Oh, man !

See what I'm sayin' ?

He's lyin'.

Ow ! Man !

If I was a cop,

would I have busted his...

Oh, shit. All that's

bleedin', trickling now.

Lock him in the car.

[ Miles ] That's right.

Get him out of here !

If I was a cop, would I have...

Shut up !

My nose's bleedin'.

Damn !

You better tell us

the truth.

He's a cop.

He hijacked the truck.

This is a setup.

Look, if I was a cop, F.B.I.'s

be in here right now, man,

takin' everybody to jail.

I think I have an idea.

Francois.

You see ? He... Look...

You want to prove

you're not a cop ?

Yeah.

- You say he's lying.

- Damn right he's lyin'.

[ LaFleur ]

Shoot him.

Shoot him.

- No problem.

- Shit !

You son of a bitch !

[ LaFleur ]

I meant kill him.

Well, you didn't say that.

You just said, "Shoot him."

Now...

you want to prove

you are not a cop ?

Yeah.

Kill him.

Ain't no comin' back

for him.

That's it.

We're movin' in.

All units, move in.

Let's go !

Shit !

Deacon ! Deacon !

Give me the diamond.

- I'll pop another one

in your ass.

- You had your chance, Miles.

Oh, shit !

Freeze ! L.A.P.D. !

Show me your hands !

Nice shot.

Get out of the car !

Get out of the car now !

Shit !

Aah !

[ Yelling ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Siren Wailing ]

All units,

this is Agent Gray, F.B.I.

Be advised we have no authority

to pursue the suspect

beyond our border.

[ On Radio ]

Do not cross into Mexico.

[ Tires Screeching ]

[ Horn Blaring ]

Pursuit of suspect

heading southbound.

We have an undercover officer

on board. I repeat, we have

a friendly on board. Over !

[ Man On Radio ]

Roger that.

- Hold on !

- Yeah !

[ Groans ]

Shit !

Look out !

Look out !

Get him !

I'm glad to see y'all.

What are y'all waitin' for ?

Go !

Well, we can't, Malone.

We have no jurisdiction.

Well, damn that...

Damn the jurisdiction !

Go ! Now !

We cannot cross into Mexico.

You can't ?

You can't ?

No. No !

Watch me.

Malone.

Malone !

Believe that !

- Malone !

- Move your ass !

[ Tires Screeching ]

Damn it !

One bullet.

Come on, Miles.

Shit !

[ Coughing ]

You're under arrest.

What the hell do you

think you're doin' ?

I'm arrestin' you

before they get here.

Oh, yeah ?

Yeah.

I'll just blow your head off

before they get here.

No. You see,

the way I see it...

is you got 30 seconds

before they make a pinata

out of your ass.

What the hell are

they talking about ?

- Malone is

an expert negotiator.

- He's an expert, sir.

Now,

you got two choices.

You can wind up

somebody's bitch,

or you can wind up

somebody's senorita.

Make up your mind.

It's your choice.

No.

I got three choices, okay ?

Maybe I just tell them

who you are, huh ?

No, you gonna shut your mouth,

'cause maybe I cut you

back in on the diamond, huh ?

Shithead,

I got the goddamn diamond.

Let me get that

up out of you.

I'm your only way out, Deke.

Now, give me the gun.

I know you don't want

to go to jail in Mexico.

Don't nobody want

to go to jail in Mexico,

where they put all kind

of burritos in your ass.

Shut up.

Come on, Deke,

give me the gun.

Come on, Deke !

No.

They think I'm a cop, okay ?

They think I'm a cop, man !

Okay, I can help you, okay ?

You don't wanna die here.

Now, give that up, Deke.

You screw me,

I swear to God,

I'll come back for you.

I swear to God

I'll come back for you !

Give me the gun.

Give me the gun !

There you go.

Let me get that up out ya.

Come on. Let it go.

There you go.

Come on.

Ah, there you go.

Now, Deke,

now this is gonna hurt

a little bit.

- Holy Christ !

- [ Chuckling ]

Huh ?

Yeah, that's for Eddie.

[ Groans ]

Adios, amigo.

Miles ?

You son of a bitch, Miles !

Come back here !

You son of a bitch !

Miles, you die !

[ Chuckling ]

You all right ?

Yeah. I needed

a vacation anyway, right ?

Yeah.

F.B.I. needs to talk to you,

Detective Malone.

[ Sighs ]

Peterson,

regional director, F.B.I.

We need to talk.

Wait a minute.

Slow down.

No, Lieutenant,

I will not slow down.

Is this man

one of yours or not ?

You bet your ass he is.

Well, I'm gonna find out

what happened here,

even if it means putting

your entire department

under federal review.

Malone.

Nice work.

Yeah ?

[ Exhales ]

Okay, Malone.

My office just spent

the last hour talking

to West Covina...

and to the U.S. Attorney's

Office trying to find out...

just who the hell it is

you're working for.

Now we know

it's not the bureau.

I think it's time that

you gave us an explanation.

I'm a federale.

- A federale ?

- Whoa !

Look across that border.

Huh ? What do you see ?

That is

the Democratic Republic

of Mexico.

- You're Mexican ?

- That's right,

on my mother's father's side.

- Yeah, I guess I can see it.

- "Glacias," thank you.

Yeah, but...

Gentlemen, I shouldn't

be telling you all this.

- I could lose

my federale-hood.

- Your what ?

My federale-hood.

Look, I had to throw

you guys off, okay ?

I was doin' it

for my country.

The red, the white...

and the green.

Now, if you guys

will excuse me,

I'm gonna have to get across

this border and school some

of my compadres, you know,

just on some things

that we like to talk about.

So, y'all stay up.

Be cool.

K-K-K-K-K-K-Kay !

Tengo el gato

los pantalones.

El nino !

What's happenin' ?

Hook a brother up with a taco !

A burrito !

K-K-K-K-K-K-Kay !

I can't believe

so much bad shit can happen

on such a beautiful day.

Malone !

Malone !

Yeah ? What ?

I think your Spanish

is a little rusty.

You just told those men...

you got a big cat

in your pants.

Oh...

Well, you know,

that's a Latin thing.

Macho. Yeah, yeah,

you wouldn't understand.

No, I think

I do understand.

- Logan.

- What ?

Uh, how'd you know

it was me ?

I started thinking

if I was Miles Logan...

and I had my diamond

hidden in a police building,

what would I do ?

So I thought like a crook.

Is that right ?

I don't believe this.

He's a major felon.

This is one hell of a bust,

Carlson.

Yeah, it's a hell

of a bust for us.

- It's, uh, just too bad

we can't make it.

- Say what ?

Well, you know,

you heard the F.B.I.

They're extremely strict

about pursuing suspects

across international borders,

and, uh, you're just out

of our jurisdiction.

Your... Yeah, exactly,

because I'm across...

And so if I'm across the line,

you're over there,

there's no way that you...

[ Laughing ]

Yeah !

I love this jurisdiction shit.

Oh, man.

So, I guess this is

the last time I'm going

to see you boys ?

Yeah, but, you know,

maybe we'll catch you later.

- Is it like that ?

- Yeah, it's like that.

Adios, amigo.

Yeah, adios.

Whoa-ho !

Oh.

Right there.

Jurisdiction.

Thanks.

You know what I mean ?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Viva Las Mexico,

and I'm out !

Viva Las Mexico.

♪♪ [ Rap ]

♪♪

♪ Come here, Daddy

You drive me crazy ♪

♪ I want nobody

touchin' my baby ♪

♪ Hold me tight

and call me your lady ♪

♪ Make me scream your name ♪

♪ Come here, Daddy

You drive me crazy ♪

♪ I want nobody

touchin' my baby ♪

♪ Hold me tight

and call me your lady ♪

♪ Make me scream your name ♪

♪ I took you out of Jacobs

and clusters, busters

They wanted to rush ya ♪

♪ Love the way you sparkle

when the sun touch ya ♪

♪ When you blush you turn blue

if your grade is right ♪

♪ You can light up

the whole room

Turn it day for night ♪

♪ When the summertime is there

and them tops are down ♪

♪ With you around my neck

We lock the whole block down

♪

♪ It took Short Sleeve with

the sound to understand ♪

♪ The reason they call you Ice

Everybody freeze ♪

♪ And a pendant in the sun

Who can shine like you ♪

♪ And that flap and the charm

Who can blind like you ♪

♪ The direct reason why

do the crimes they do ♪

♪ I used to snatch the necklace

off the reckless fools ♪

♪ 'Cause I was jealous that

they were so next to you ♪

♪ So I devoted half my time

to invest in you ♪

♪ The other half was spent

on protecting you ♪

♪ 'Cause you belong to me

Now sing a song for me ♪

♪ Come here, Daddy

You drive me crazy ♪

♪ I want nobody

touchin' my baby ♪

♪ Hold me tight

and call me your lady ♪

♪ Make me scream your name ♪

♪ Come here, Daddy

You drive me crazy ♪

♪ I want nobody

touchin' my baby ♪

♪ Hold me tight

and call me your lady ♪

♪ Make me scream your name ♪

♪ I'm offerin' you some

of the juice I got ♪

♪ I took you from the projects

and an abusive pops ♪

♪ From the bottom to the top

The skateboard to the drop ♪

♪ From the nada to the Pradas

I got you like I got you ♪

♪ From the first time

I put you 'round my neck

and locked you ♪

♪ It was then I knew everywhere

I went, you follow ♪

♪ Soon I spent every dollar

You became my habit ♪

♪ Other brothers' vice was smoe

Mines was cash ♪

♪ The more checks I got

The more I laced my crew ♪

♪ The raps got bigger

The watch face got blue ♪

♪ Tricked a little

And I laced my bowl ♪

♪ Don't forget my mistress

I laced her too ♪

♪ Cop my jewels twice

like deja-vu ♪

♪ If they ever met in the mall

It was over, y'all ♪

♪ Just the way I do it

Either way, you win ♪

♪ I made the thugs love you

and your girl's best friend ♪

♪ Come here, Daddy

You drive me crazy ♪

♪ I want nobody

touchin' my baby ♪

♪ Hold me tight

and call me your lady ♪

♪ Make me scream your name ♪

♪ Come here, Daddy

You drive me crazy ♪

♪ I want nobody

touchin' my baby ♪

♪ Hold me tight

and call me your lady ♪

♪ Make me scream your name ♪

♪ And the wedding band you love

And the gold chain you dug ♪

♪ Sometimes you give in

just because ♪

♪ A ten-inch bracelet

means they want relations ♪

♪ Know that they want it

It only means

they give you up ♪

♪ In the hands of gold diggers

never enough ♪

♪ Rings, things

Just never enough ♪

♪ But me and you together

We'll shine to the end ♪

♪ I mean, the thugs love you

but your girl's best friend ♪

♪ Come here, Daddy

You drive me crazy ♪

♪ I want nobody

touchin' my baby ♪

♪ Hold me tight

and call me your lady ♪

♪ Make me scream your name ♪♪

♪ What you gonna do

What you gonna do ♪

♪ When he come through

Come for you, huh ♪

♪ What you gonna do

What you gonna do ♪

♪ When he come for you

Come for you, what ♪

♪ No, ain't nowhere to run ♪

♪ No, ain't nowhere to hide ♪

♪ When the heat is on

ain't nothin' you can do ♪

♪ But close your eyes

and hope to get away ♪

♪ People always talk

about my lifestyle ♪

♪ Certainly nothin' good

can come of it ♪

♪ But I always used to figure

it was worth my while ♪

♪ That's why I had

to get this lid ♪

♪ 11:30, 6-4-1 dirty ♪

♪ I got the goods

but I think they hurt me ♪

♪ I gotta get away

Stash this stuff away ♪

♪ 'Cause the boys

are comin' to get me ♪

♪ No, ain't nowhere to run ♪

♪ No, ain't nowhere to hide ♪

♪ When the heat is on

ain't nothin' you can do ♪

♪ But close your eyes and ride

and hope to get away ♪♪