Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh (1991) - full transcript

Danny? Stop it.

Can't you be
more gentle?

You love it, don't you?
- You know I do, but...

be gentle.

I just get impatient.
How can we maybe get engaged

and maybe get married.
I'm not sure if you're allowed.

You can be sure.
- Then prove it.

Danny, I said "stop it!"

Ow! Ooh! Ouch!

Put that thing back!
- You gotta cut the zipper!

Wait, here! Let me help!



No, wait, that's not it!
No, don't!

Oh, yes! Yes!

Yes, I coming!

I'm coming! Oh!
Talk about it!

Can we stop?!
- Are you crazy?!

I'm coming!
- Stop! Will you please stop!

I'm coming!
- Here! Stop it! Stop it!

You just don't understand.
You're tearing me apart

with your empty promises.
That's all I ever get from you.

Yeah, your kisses are hot,
but your heart is cold.

I have got no more
tears left to cry for you.

You will never be faithful
to me, I know you won't.

That's not true, Jeremy.
I'll change. I promise, I will.

Hey, this your first time, lover?
- No, no, no, I've had some experience.



I'll tell you what.

Give me an extra $20 and
you're going to get the experience.

Hey, what's that?

Hey, did you hear that?

No! Not the car!
It's my dad's car!

Any veggie burgers left?
- Too late. Sorry, all gone.

Shit, I knew we'd
be too late.

What took you guys so long? Medical
examiner wants to see you right away.

Come on Joe.
- Oh, no.

Come on, Joe!
We gotta go together.

I just want a cup of coffee, Sweeney.
Black, no sugar.

It's real bad this time.

The most disgusting thing
I've ever seen.

Just one more coffee...
- Joe!

A young boy saw the whole thing.
Come on!

Joe, we are the investigating officers
in this case.

Joe, we gotta go over to the
murder scene.

It's our job.

I... I... I need a cigarette,
Sweeney, please.

It won't be so bad,
big guy.

This time he took
her brain.

Oh, boy.
- Easy, Joe.

Popped that baby
right out of there.

It looks like he used a scoop.
You know, like for ice cream or something.

Three times this week.
You're bad, Birdwell.

25 big ones you owe me.

Sweeney!

Take a closer look in there.
- Hey! Don't bother me.

Wait...

What's that?

Hey Blocker, take
a look at this!

So what is that?

Turn it off!

It's a note...

A paper.
- A piece of paper?

It's a note?

What's it say?

I don't know! I can't read it.

Some kind of funny writing
with little ducks and frogs.

It's Egyptian writing.
Hieroglyphics.

I knew that!

How you feelin', Joe?
Better?

Did you lose money again?
- Yeah...

Sorry.
- What the hell.

We're partners!

Take it easy!
Easy kid!

That face...
dark sunglasses...

Take it easy, buddy! Can
you remember anything else?

Just the hat.
- Hat?

Yes, he had on a funny hat!
- Alright now kid just calm down.

Just a few more minutes.

Joe, go and get the book!
- Now kid...

If we showed you some pictures, do you
think you could give us a positive I.D.?

I'll try, officer.
- Alright now.

Kid...

if you recognize any one
of these pictures... speak up.

No.

No. No.

No. No. No.
That's not it.

No. No.
No... no.

Ah! There!

There! That's the hat!
That's the hat!

There! There!
Look!

Look! The hat!

The hat! Look!

The hat!
- We see it, son!

No, no! There!
There!

No, there!
There!

There!
- I said we see it!

Okay, be careful with him, officer.
No brutality!

The hat!

He's alright.

Not a bad kid.

An Egyptian fez.

What do you make of that, Joe?

I'm gonna get Deek Taylor in on this.

Deek Taylor?
- Yeah, my partner from Vegas.

Do you remember Deek Taylor?
- Sure.

But he's in Las Vegas.

I know he's in Las Vegas.
That is the point.

There was a similar string of
murders twelve years ago in Vegas.

Lots of girls murdered.
Parts of their bodies taken.

Wait a second.

What kind of parts?
- The first one had her finger cut off.

And the second?
- Had her toes clipped off with pruning shears.

And the third?

Had her ears sawed off her head.

And the fourth had her
lungs cut out.

And so on and
so forth.

And tonight, number 19,

and she had her brains
scooped out!

I'll have the zucchini bulger burger

and bring one for my partner too.

I remember you telling me about this.
You and Deek Taylor finally caught the guy!

So...

what's the connection?

Well, it seems the killer

was using the parts for
some kind of ritual or something.

Some deranged Egyptian psycho-type,

by the name of...

Semmet Cairo.

Well Deek got tipped off... and we
went to pick the guy up and

he ran like hell.
Chased him all over the place.

Then Deek lost it.

He started shooting.
He shot the guy to pieces.

Yeah I remember.
You were real cut up about it.

You had a complete
nervous breakdown.

You wanna keep it down, will ya?
- Yeah, okay.

And then your wife left you
for that other cop.

Hey, you wanna keep it down Sweeney, please.
- Sure thing buddy.

Because of that sex problem!

Sweeney, will you shut up!
- Easy... Joe.

Uh, 5-5-4.

Uh, 5-5-4-3-1.

Hey Joe, listen to me.
I know what your problem is,

I know what it is.
- I'm dying to find out.

You need a wife!
Someone to come home to.

To a wife that cares. A home.
Things that really count.

Without those things, my life would
be as pathetic and full of emptiness as yours.

Emptiness...
- Yeah, listen to me, Joe!

I honestly don't know how
you spend the...

Okay buddy. Get a good rest.

Sweeney!
- What is it, Joe?

There's something else I gotta tell ya.
- What?

I knew those girls.

What girls?

The girls got murdered.

I knew them.
- You knew them?

You knew those girls?

All of them.

See you back at the station, partner.
- What...

Erma, where are you?!
- I'm in the kitchen!

Haven't I asked you a million
times to empty your ashtrays?

Where have you been all night?
- Another one of those murders.

Sweeney, I wish you could spend
more time at home.

We should have more quality time together.
- You know I got a job to do.

You love that job more
than me.

You'd rather look at dead people
than look at your own wife!

Hey, we don't get ones
like this every day.

You see pretty girls.
- Oh, my Erma.

You think I can't be pretty?
I do everything you ask me!

I exercise real hard! I fix your meals
the way you ask me!

- Why don't you just stop...
No! Don't say it.

Don't say it!

Don't you dare say it!

All in good time.
One thing at a time.

I was just gonna say...
- Don't...

Morning, Sarge.
- Morning, Mavis.

You're up early this morning.
- I haven't been to bed.

Rainy nights are slow.
I'm cold.

How about a cup of
coffee and a cuddle, huh Joe?

It's on the house.

Okay, Joe, sorry I forgot...

Just a cup of coffee?

Sorry, Ashley.

Here's your breakfast.

Papaya and pinto beans.

Real healthy.
- Sergeant Sweeney Birdwell...

Oh... that's you.

Not much, Larry, pretty much the same deal.
A young girl murdered.

Part of the body removed from the
crime scene.

That's terrible, Sergeant.
- Yes it is, Larry.

Just what was it that was missing this time?
- Her brain, Larry.

Her brain was gone when we got here.
- Her brain?

That's right, Larry.
Her brain.

Hey!

What are you doing? There's more!

The girl who was killed, was she pretty?

Pretty?
- I bet she was pretty, wasn't she?

Someone sawed off the top
of her head and ripped out her brains!

Does that sound pretty to you?!
Pretty messy is more like it!

Why are you yelling at me?

What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with me?

One...

We're homicide cops and
my partner can't stand the sight of blood.

Two... I mind out he mysteriously
knows all the victims!

And three! The only other suspect is a
guy who's been dead for twelve years.

Erma... I need some quality
time in the sack.

Wake me in a couple
of hours.

Are you mad at me?

What?
- Are you mad with me?

I can't understand you, you've gotta
keep fresh batteries in that thing.

Another one bites the dust.

Erma... just give up!

It's quittin' time, honey.

I gotta go home and
eat my oatmeal.

Oooh.

That's a lot of hot cereal.

SUSPECT SHOT TO PIECES!
COP HAS NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

LOSES WIFE BECAUSE
OF SEXUAL PROBLEM

Why don't you take
off those sunglasses?

Okay... okay.
Don't be so rough.

Your face isn't the
important thing, is it?

Well, let's freshen up a bit and
see what Mr. Zucchini has to say about it.

He's the important one,
isn't he?

You are gonna love where
this lipstick winds up, lover.

I just a splash of color.
Don't you?

Hey, I like kinky too.

What?

No! No!
... No!

Just what the Sam fucking Hill is
going on here?

What are we, a travel agency?
Now we buy plane tickets?

Do you know who I
just got off the phone with?!

No.
- No.

Do you want to guess?!

With your darling wife
and two lovely children, James and...

I hate my wife!

I hate my children!

The commissioner, that's who!

Who just got off the phone with
the D.A...

who just got off the
phone with the mayor

...who just got off
the phone with the governor!

And do you want to know
what we were talking about?!

Uh... the uh...
- Uh... the murders.

The murders? What murders?!

The murders that have been happening.
- No!

We were talking about the
impending murders of two...

geek detectives who happen to be the
lousiest cops on the force!

Try to understand...

he's been under tremendous
pressure lately.

And who the hell authorized one
tourist class ticket from Las Vegas

for a certain "D. Taylor"?
- He did it.

You did?

The uh... murders resemble a series of
killings that took place in Vegas.

A number of years ago in which Deek
Taylor was the officer in cha...

Oh yeah. Las Vegas.

It's going back to your... nervous
breakdown and your divorce.

Sexual problems.
- Oh, yeah your sexual problem.

We got another one!
Another murder!

On Maple and 40th Street. It's a E street
hooker by the name of Mavis Keeler.

Chief... No... Chief!
No you can't!

Give me that!
You... put that thing down!

Easy... Chief.

You can shoot 'em in
the station.

Blocker... so help me God,
this Taylor guy better be worth it

or I'll tear your head right off
your body with my bear hands!

Aww, you're so cute!

My poor doggie.

You're shaking.
What are you scared of?

Hey!

Hey, what are you doing,
you bozo?

Let me up out of here,
I'm gonna kick your teeth in!

What are you doing!
What the...

You need some help
with your hose, you dork!

You creep!
You'll pay for that blouse, you jerk!

That thing make you feel big enough!
Nothing... you probably!...

Ahh!
Blocker, no!

Joe don't do it!

No don't, it's me, Deedee!
- What's going on...

Joe, don't shoot me!
- Deedee, will you get off of me...

What are you doing?!

No, don't, it's me, Deedee!

It's me. Deedee Taylor!

How'd you get in here?

Ashley let me in and
your door was open.

I was so anxious to get
here I... took an earlier plane.

Oh I talked to you on the phone.
- Right!

Please don't do that!

I'm sorry.

Hi... Joe! Hi miss. I'll wait in the car.
And don't forget about Taylor.

I'm Taylor!

Taylor?
- Deedee Taylor.

Deedee Taylor?

I did not recognize her...

I haven't seen you
since you were a kid.

This is Sweeney Birdwell,
my partner.

This is Deedee
Taylor, Deek's daughter.

His daughter...

Hi!
- Hi.

So did you come with your father?
Where is he?

He's not here.

He disappeared 18 months
ago without a trace.

I'm afraid that he's dead.

Could you excuse us for
a minute?

She thinks
Deek Taylor is dead.

I know. I heard her.

I thought you talked
to Deek on the phone.

I talked to Deedee.

You hadn't talked to Deek?

She said to wire
a plane ticket right away.

And she would take
care of everything.

She was always a weird kid.
- Now she's a weird big person.

Joe... the chief said he was gonna
tear your head off your body

if this Taylor wasn't worth it.

What does this
suggest to you?

That we're in deep shit.

I know what you're trying to do
Miss Taylor, but you've broken

several laws here including
impersonating an officer.

The ticket was made out
to "D. Taylor"

and I am a bonifide
law enforcement officer.

That is regulated parking control.
- A meter maid. She's a meter maid.

A meter maid?
- We're dead men, Joe.

I can help you solve this case.
I have my father's notes and I've been...

We're taking you back to the airport.

But there's no return
flights until tomorrow...

We'll find one!
- Get your hands off me, you jerks!

I came here to find out what
happened to my father and

I'm not going back until I do!

I'm gonna scream until you shut up
and listen to me!

We're not collecting dimes here, Miss Taylor,
we're tracking down a serial killer.

Just listen to me.

If you listen to me tonight,
I'll take a plane home tomorrow...

Get back in the car!
- I can help you solve this case!

I can help you solve this case!
- You're a pain in the ass!

Doesn't hurt to listen.
What do you say, Joe?

Deep, deep shit.

Yes, Miss Birdwell, using the
state of the art behavioral

modification systemics, we can free you
from the tyranny of tobacco

which has enslaved you
all these years.

The choice is yours.

What do I do?

Please have a
seat, Mrs. Birdwell.

We'd like you to
watch a short presentation.

Are we quite comfortable?

Fine.

I'll be back shortly.

Joe, I can't believe you
didn't recognize me.

You and daddy were my
heroes when I was little.

You used to be so handsome.

Oh... excuse, pardon moi.

I couldn't understand why you went
away so suddenly, but then daddy told me

about your breakdown, and your
wife divorcing you because of

your sexual problem.
He told me all about it.

He said you hate women now.
I guess that's why, huh?

I don't hate women.
- Yes you do, Joe.

Maybe just a little.

But when you told me about
all these murders and how they

match the Las Vegas killing and
the Egyptian clues

I just had to get here!

You just had to get here?
Compliments of the police department.

Yeah, because I'm sure the killing
are connected with daddy's disappearance.

Oh, you're sure?
- Yeah!

Uh, where are you Car 107?

107, over, come in.

Uh, gimme...
- Uh, this is 107, over.

Where the hell are you
two geeks?

On the way to the airport.

Well, there's another one at
Boxseller Park, goddamnit!

Another airport at Boxseller Park?
You sure, Chief?

Uh... oh another murder!

We're on our way!

Pick up this Taylor guy first
who you say is gonna help us so much!

Uh, he doesn't know very much,
so we thought we'd take him back.

Goddamnit, I paid for him
and I want him!

If you arrive here without
Taylor, I'll have you both killed! Over!

The killings are occurring closer
together now.

This one should be the
eyes and digestive tract.

This one should be the
eyes and digestive tract.

This time he took her eyes
and digestive tract.

How do you think he did it?

Easy. High-powered
industrial shop vacuum.

Sucked it right out.

It's all like one
long string, you know?

Yank on one end and it
all comes out.

Please can I come look!
Is it like what I said?

Stay in the car!

Damnit!

Why don't you listen to her?

Maybe we ought to worry how
we're going to explain it to the chief.

How did she know what the
missing parts would be?

We should listen to her!

Joe... take it easy.

You knew this
one too, right?

Yeah. Right.

Another one from Vegas.

Betty and her boobsie twins.

Former showgirl. Betty and I
go back a long way.

I get it.
Before TSP.

Before what?

Before TSP. The sexual problem.

That is the last goddamn time
I'm ever gonna hear that from anybody.

Don't hesitate. Don't think about it!
Just do it. Please!

Joe. Stop it!

I'm sorry, Sweeney.

But you're an asshole!

I was just kidding around!

When this case is over,
you and I are quits.

Oh, c'mon Joe.
I was just kiddin' around.

Joe... come on.

Did I hear you say that all the
victims are from Las Vegas?

All the victims are from Las Vegas?!
- Shh!

What?!

Then there's got to be a definite
connection to the Cairo case.

Don't you get it?!

You see... the killer's brother was
the one that tipped my father off.

A guy named Jackie Cairo.

A small time casino shark
into real estate.

Well, Jackie discovered that his
brother Semmet was the murderer

and went straight
to the police.

What the hell is going on here?
Jackie Cairo? Las Vegas?

Who is this person anyway?

Deedee Taylor.
Las Vegas Law Enforcement.

Deedee... D... I thought you said...
- Ah, so, here's what we've got so far.

A series of murders which echo
exactly the frequency

and M.O. of the
Las Vegas killings.

All victims happen to be
from Vegas.

Two weeks before your
murders began...

word is Jackie Cairo
picked up and left Vegas.

So?

He moved here!

A suspect! A suspect! I can't
believe it, an actual suspect!

Chief, you don't understand.
- Understand this, Blocker!

I want her in charge when
you look up this Cairo guy.

You listen to her. She'll be the
brains, you'll be the brawn.

And the medical examiner wants to
see you in the autopsy room. Pronto!

He says he has something
he wants to show you.

He confided in me that it
was absolutely vile.

That's really something for the
medical examiner to say... isn't it?

Great to see you here, Joe.

You gotta come down more often.
This is a happy place, isn't it girls?

Sure is, Doctor Hooper.

We have fun, you know?
- Ha ha!

Look at this, Joe. You can tell by the
ragged stump on the splenic artery

a rapid sawing motion was
used to cut this baby out.

I guess a hedge trimmer.

Interesting that the spleen
could be removed

without the surrounding organs
suffering any trauma.

Especially with the weapon
the killer was using.

Shows somebody knew what
they were doing.

What's this thing?
- Surprise! Ha ha ha!

Another note!

Written in hieroglyphics, like the
other one. This is a real problem.

I can decipher them.

Daddy showed me how
you do it once.

Of course.

Come on let's get out of here!

Hey, not so fast, Joe.

Today is Flo's birthday! Kel made her
famous tomato salmon casserole.

Show him, Kel.

That's a 150 big ones
you owe me, Sweeney. Hey!

What happened to your lip?

Hey!

What about my 150 bucks!

Monday! Goddamnit!

Come on!

You finished?

Fuck off!

Tomato, salmon casserole...

Don't be discouraged,
Mrs. Birdwell.

We have alternate techniques
for difficult cases such as yours.

I'd like you to meet Henry,
your physical therapist.

Hi.

Now, Mrs. Birdwell,
will you inhale, please?

Good?

Now, Mrs. Birdwell, could
you inhale again, please?

I got it! I think I know
what they say!

It's pretty weird.
- Listen to this.

First one...

"So shall it be,
three times seven.

Begins to brew,
the loss of heaven."

Three times seven equals 21.

The total number of the
Las Vegas killings.

"Begins to brew,
the loss of heaven..."

"Instead in blackness,
void of breath.

The weep and swallow,
endless death."

Ahh!

What's the matter
with you guys?

Ahh!

Oh for Pete's sake... shut up!

It's only Sweeney's wife.

Who the hell is that?

Erma...

D... Dee...

Deedee Taylor of the Las Vegas
Police. She's working the case with us.

Please.

W... Wh...
What happened to you?

Come on.

Crimey.

What happened to her?

That is a long story, kid.

You don't want to hear it
and I don't want to tell it.

Hey.

Your hiccups are gone.

You're right.
- She works every time.

I...

I gotta get a glass
of water or something.

Would you...

God damn things...

never fit!

Give me that thing.

Go inside and play
detective.

You and that girl
find some more clues!

Super.

Try this.

Testing, one, two, three. Testing.

Sound good, alright
you're on the air again.

Thanks Joe.
You're a sweetheart.

Okay, kid.

You wanna tell me what happened?

It doesn't make any
difference, Joe.

Nothing makes any
difference anymore.

She's pretty, isn't she, Joe?
- Her?

Yes. Admit it.
You think she's pretty.

So does Sweeney.
- Pretty ugly is more like it.

She picks her nose,
and she hiccups, and burps.

Oh Joe, I see right
through you.

You're just a
romantic at heart.

That's a funny thing to call
an old woman-hater like me.

Woman-hater? But you don't
hate me, do you, Joe?

Of course not, Erma.

But you're not a woman.

No, I mean, you are not a woman
like the rest of them.

I mean, you're... you're different.

I mean you're special.

I better get back
out in to the circus.

What's this, Erma?

Your favorite.
Semolina skirt sprout burgers.

Great, thank you very much, Mrs. Birdwell.
It looks so healthy.

You're welcome.

Through the loss of heaven,
swallow endless death.

Swallow endless death.
- That sounds like the formula.

What is so neat about
this Egyptian formula,

that some nut is killing
people for it?

Eternal life, Sweeney.

I mean the formula's thought
to place a body in a state of...

purity. Cleansing it of all earthly
contamination which will ensure

an afterlife of...
perpetual ectasy.

Perpetual ecstasy?
- A parcel who is old and diseased...

they would enjoy the afterlife forever
in a young, beautiful body!

But could this formula
work on the living?

Well, someone's trying to see
if it does.

But where do we start
looking for this... Jackie Cairo?

The Egyptian part of town.

Long time since we've
been down here, huh Joe?

This place gives me the heebie-jeebies.
- Yeah, me too.

Why's that?

Cops don't come down here much.
Place has its own laws.

They don't want us
down here.

Oh, I hate this! This happens every
time we come down here!

We'll never find
Jackie Cairo here.

Give me the phone book
with the Egypt part, Birdwell.

Did you bring the phonebook
to Egypt Town, Birdwell?

Yeah... there are a million
Cairo's with initial "J".

It's a very common Egyptian name.

But you don't have to bother.
- What do you mean?

Cairo was into all kinds of shady
land deals in Vegas.

Well, real estate agents have to be
licensed in the states in which they operate.

So, I traced Cairo's application and I
found his business address in Egypt Town.

Hey.
- Of course!

4400 Zoser Court.
The Café Nefertiti.

Let's go!

4400 Zoser Court. The Café Nefertiti.
This is it!

Ahh. An automobile has arrived.

Are you ready?
- Yes, Mr. Cairo, I think so.

You got the pencil, stupid girl?!
- Yeah. I almost forgot.

How about an order pad?
- Oh yeah...

Oh, so stupid.

Here!

Don't forget the menus.

Oh... thank you.
I forgot those.

You have brought me an
exquisite flower, Lober.

Perhaps the best
of all of them.

But you must be more
careful with her.

I do not want
her bruised.

But she is so stupid, great one.
- She is beautiful.

You are fat and ugly.

I said I do not
want her bruised.

I don't know. I don't like this.
- I don't either.

Make sure you just look around.
You let us do the talking.

Aye, aye, Dick Tracy.

Nefertiti Gourmet Drive In.
Can I... help you?

Your waitress will be right
with you.

Look behind you towards that
corner. Don't be obvious.

Shit.

I think he's staring at me.

I don't like it.
- Alright, well, look let's just take it slow.

That's gonna be a problem.

Remember, a problem is just an
open door to opportunity.

Something tells
me it's Jackie Cairo.

Stupid girl.

Welcome to Café Nefertitty.

Nefertiti.

I'm sorry. It's my first
day on the job. I'm... nervous.

That's okay.

That's a real pretty costume.
Really adds atmosphere.

It's nice, isn't it.
- It's dynamite!

Who do I talk to about a job?
Is your boss here?

Waitress! What's the...
King Tut Special?

Um. Excuse me.
I'll go see.

Forget it! I'll
have a burger.

I'll have a cheeseburger, ketchup,
no onions, and a cup of black coffee.

One camel burger with
goat cheese and ketchup!

Camel burger, goat
cheese, ketchup!

I'll have the couscous.
- Me too.

Two couscous!

Two couscous.
- Your order will be ready in just a sec.

Ooh, wait, Miss. Is that
your boss in the back there?

I really would like to
talk to him about a job.

Let me check.

Ooh... I'm sorry.

What the hell do you
think you're doing.

I said we'll ask the questions!

The only thing I've heard you ask
is what the King Tut Special was!

Somebody gotta
take the initiative.

Who are those people?

Customers, I guess?
- Why don't you feed them in the parking lot.

You know we don't like
outsiders in here.

She is so stupid.

And you are fat and ugly.

They do not look
like customers to me.

Nemo, Marsha. Be patience.
Their time will come.

The girl wants to ask
you about a job, Mr. Cairo.

She likes the costumes that
we have to wear.

I think she's nice.

What should I tell her?

Let me think, child.

Excuse me, guys.

Hey, I talked to Mr. Cairo and he
says he needs a new waitress.

He wants to talk to you.

That's great!
Deedee. Deedee Taylor.

My name's Grace.
We're gonna have so much fun together!

I just know it.

What's our boss like?
Very mysterious...

Oh he is mysterious, but he is so nice.
You know, I met him in Las Vegas

when I was really down and out.

But then he paid for my bus ticket so
I could come up here and start my new career.

As a waitress.

He says he's even gonna give me lessons.
- Lessons?

Waitress lessons, ya know...
- Oh...

No way Taylor, it's out of
the questions.

That waitress is in danger. I've got to
warn her and find out all I can

...about her boss.
She's gonna meet with him later tonight!

- I said no way.

Here's her address. I copied it
down for you.

Now I might need some backup
when I go in the motel.

Backup my butt!

I'm staying at that motel. I'm asking
a few questions, I'm getting a few answers.

I'm gonna find out what happened
to my father if it kills me,

and if it doesn't, I'm gonna see that
killer fry until his earwax bubbles!

And if you try and stop me, I'll tell the
chief that you interfered

in this investigation and
he'll shoot you where you stand!

Yes, beautiful lady, how may
I be of assistance?

I would like a room, please.
- Certainly.

That'll be $12, even.

Anything else I could help
you with, my dear?

Yes, I would like
something for later.

I know exactly what you mean.

If I may suggest this special device with...
- No! Ha...

I meant something to drink.
A cup of tea.

Could that nice waitress
from the restaurant bring me some?

We don't normally offer
room service.

But for a delicate water, even
the wind must bend.

I will see to it personally.

You sure you wouldn't like
the heat seeking...

Come on...

You creep!

HAD NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
BIG SEXUAL PROBLEM.

Figures. I get
all the good ones.

Joe's Out Call Girls, what's your pleasure?
- Girl, it's Sandy.

I've been ringing every 10 minutes
for an hour, there's nobody here

and it's raining, damn it...

I know... many miles...

through the snow...

Jesus, I work in a
supermarket or something.

Okay, I'm gonna get a cab
and come in, alright.

Oh, alright, but jesus...
- Okay, bye.

You gotta be kidding. Two bit whore
without a quarter. It's not my day.

Mister... do you got
a quarter?

Hey, if you don't have a quarter,
that's okay too, man.

TIME EXPIRED

Hit me! Not like that!
- Ohh! I like it!

Oh, god, she's such a pain
in the ass.

She's been in there over two hours.
- Gotta stay awake for her, Joe.

Yeah, right. If she's killed
it'll save us a trip back out here.

You're a warm, caring
person, Blocker.

Central to Car 107. Come in...
- Uh 107, go ahead, over.

Uh, there's been another murder
at 226 Boxholder Lane.

Chief wants you guys here...
- Joe, that's your address!

That's your address, Joe!
- I know it's my address!

We gotta get over there!

Who is it?
- It's me, room service.

Oh, Grace. I never
thought you'd get here.

This is such a creepy place.

You're gonna love this one, Joe.
You're just gonna love it!

Well leave me alone,
will ya?

But this one's a blockbuster!
Two thumbs up on this one!

Sweeney, go check it out.
- Come on, Joe.

Even got a note in
English this time.

Look, I'll be right over, I promise.
- Trouble is, it doesn't make any sense.

What do you mean?
- She's not a meter maid.

What'd you say?

She's a hooker,
not a meter maid.

What the hell is
going on?!

METER MAID
YOUR TIME IS UP!

Where's the fire, Blocker?!

Taylor's in trouble.
I gotta get back to the motel.

You're the one's in trouble!
Is that your apartment house?!

What are you getting at?

Can anyone verify where
you were in the last 60 minutes?

Sure! Sweeney here!

He's not included.
- God, I can't talk now. Come on, Sweeney!

Grab him!
- God damnit! Let go...

There's a girl about
to be murdered!

A girl was killed!
Sandy Kleinbacker from Las Vegas.

You knew all of them
in Las Vegas.

Where you were under psychiatric
care after your breakdown!

And then you move here and
the murders start all over again!

You've always been a woman-hater
and everybody knows it!

Bullshit!
- Is it? Is it?!

Gwendoline told me everything.
That's why she left you.

Oh, I know all about you, Blocker!
- Gwendolin didn't know shit!

She kicked me when I was
down. That's all she ever knew.

No one deserves that silly
twat more than you!

What did you call my wife?
- A twat!

Like you have down there.

Take another one!

Oh no you don't!

Oh... yes I do!

Outstanding for a geek!

Come on, Sweeney!

103...

105...

107!
- Deedee!

It's a briefcase. He's got her!
- Shit!

The address. She gave you
the waitress' address.

The waitress can tell us
where to find Cairo!

Shit! Where did I put it?

The parking lot!
You threw it out the window!

You seem very interested...

in a poor businessman down
in Egypt Town. Why is that?

I just wanted to apply for
a job as a waitress.

A girl likes to know who
she's working for.

Yes.

So our lovely Grace
has told me.

You know, of course,
my waitresses are very special.

They possess very special
qualities.

I train them personally.

Hold her!
- Hey, what are you doing?!

We discussed special qualities.

I must see if you have them.

Stop it!

You will show me, child.
You will show me all.

Unfortunately, I have a
previous appointment.

Annoint her body...
in special oils.

Dress her in
lovely garments.

Then lock her ass up
until I get back.

This is a parking ticket.
I can't believe someone just

threw away a parking ticket...
you just ignore this thing.

Sweeney, would you put
that down and just keep looking.

Wait! Here, here. I found it. Let's go!
- Okay.

HOME OF GRACE
FUTURE WAITRESS

It's time for your
lessons, my child.

Mister Cairo.
Come on in.

I'm so happy you're willing to
spend all this time with me.

I just hope you'll let me
show my appreciation.

Of course, my dear.

Come. Come, come.

So soft... so pale...

Like the translucent
underbelly of a lily.

Go into the bedroom,
Grace, dear.

Put on this uniform.

That's a pretty skimpy uniform.
- Mmm.

I don't understand, I...
- You need only understand...

that to allow the correct processes,
to assert the autonomous natures,

the uniform must be as unencumbering
as is humanly possible.

Trust me, my dear.

Okay.

Now...

put them on. Put them on
very quickly.

Jeez. This is dark and scary.

Get the flashlights.

Let's go.

Great! Wonderful! Let's go!
Once again, and, one, two, three, four...

Climb. Two, three, four. To the sky!
Good! Wonderful! Let's stretch!

Don't forget to breath! Breath!
Two, three, one, two, three...

four, step, two, three.
Four, knees high! Up!

Wonderful! Energy, and calories
are burning! That's it! Good, people!

Keep it going people!
One, two, three, four, step!...

I'm ready, Mr. Cairo. Should I
come out now?

Perhaps we will need to
remove... all of your garments.

All of them. All the better
to see your lovely buttocks.

Like my other flowers.

We must begin! Oh, yes.

Oh just... just...

recline on the davenport, my child.

Recline and relax.

While I prepare for
the documentation

of your achieving perfection
as a waitress.

That's it. As a waitress.

Grace?

Where the hell's Cairo?!
You better tell us!

That's Deedee's clothes!

Where the hell is she?
Where the hell is she!

You gotta be fucking kidding.
- I don't think they're kidding, Joe.

They're not kidding, Joe!

Birdwell! Shoot them!

Can't kill women, Joe!
- Start with one!

This one!
Shoot this one!

I want to but I can't!

I am warning you!

Joe, I can't believe you actually
shot those women.

Because they're pretty, is that it?

Admit it, Sweeney!
You think they're pretty!

Erma? What the hell are
you doing here?

No, no! Please, don't, please!

Just on time, Deedee.
A very important element.

The brain. Binds the
broth together in a jelly of fear.

Fear the poor girl felt
before I ripped it from her head.

Fear...

like you're feeling now.

You're the killer?
- Bingo.

There's only one more ingredient needed.
Something very special.

Luber! Oh, thank the gods!
Help me, please!

Help me!

I cannot, great one,
unless she commands me.

Luber, get me down
you fat pig!

She is not your master.
I am your master!

She is my master.

She has always
been my master.

Besides, she never calls
me fat and ugly like you do.

I am very sensitive
about my weight problem.

Sweeney!

You and Erma look through there!
I'm gonna look down here.

I want to come with you, Joe!
- Sweeney, just do it!

Do you know what I need, Deedee?

Why don't you guess.

Tears. Just tears.

Tears from a virgin
taken in sorrow.

Are you a virgin, kiddo?

Aren't we lucky.

Go ahead, Lober.

She's yours... but hurt her!
Hurt her bad!

If you think you're gonna get
tears because this bozo bounces me

you're nuts, lady.

No tears?

No tears!

You wanna bet!

Daddy!

Gotcha!

Oh no...

Why?
- Why?

To avenge my father.

Three men killed him,
and three will pay.

Number one will be
Uncle Jack.

Who turned my father into
the police so he could grab the formula.

Uncle?
- Oh, are you surprised, Uncle Jack?

Stick me away in a convent
and run away!

Why don't you run
away from this!

Oh no.

No! The tears of infinity!
Don't do this to me!

Don't do this to me,
you can't do this to me!

Grace, don't kill him!

I'll more than kill him.
Much more than kill.

The taste of pure blood. I've reversed
my father's formula for purification.

The body is shriveled and the
soul is locked in hell.

Until the end of time!

Eternal damnation city.

Daddy... Daddy, I’m here!
Hold on, please, hold on!

And now Deedee, time for number two.
Daddy Taylor.

If you put him in that stuff, I swear
I'll rip your guts out with my teeth!

Shut up! Now do it to her,
and do it bad!

What about!
- I can't.

You what?
- I'm trying, I just can't.

You make me nervous
with that weird costume...

You spoiling everything!
I need more tears!

That's better!

Leave my father
alone, you crazy bitch!

Somebody... anybody... help me!

Joe!

Get off of her, you sweaty ape!

Or I'll blow your ass off!

Take him, Lober!
- Yes, highness.

Stop him... or I'll shoot.
- No matter.

I'll kill him!

Joe!

Joe! Hit him! Hit him hard!
- Right... right.

Joe, look out! Look...

Joe!

Just who the hell are you!?

Semmet Cairo's daughter.
Welcome, Joe Blocker, number three.

My vengeance is complete.

Instead, in blackness,

void of breath.

Weep and swallow,

endless death!

What the hell is
that outfit?

Do you think she's pretty?!

Ahh! It is Anubis,
dreadlord of the underground!

Deedee!
- He comes to take us, highness!

It is not Anubis, you fool!

Sweeney!

Keep him down!
- It is Anubis!

It is not Anubis!
- It is Anubis!

Shit it's not loaded!

It is not Anubis!

The fuck it is!
And I know Anubis when I see him!

Sweeney, shoot!

Oh no! Oh no!

Anybody makes a move
and she buys it.

Ear to little ear. Don't anybody
move a muscle!

Let the girl go!
Now!

I said let the girl go!
Anubis commands it!

Damnit! Anubis says
let her go!

Come on you guys!
This way!

This is for my father!

Ow! Stop biting!

Alright, hold it right there lady!
I'll shoot!

Joe, you better hope I hold it!
If I take my foot off this safety,

this crusher's gonna turn
your bimbo into apple butter.

You're under arrest! You
have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can
and will be used against you...

in a court of law.

You have the right to talk to
a lawyer and him present

with you while you are
being questioned.

Put it down!
- No!

Not this time, no nuts!

This time, I'm gonna really give you
something to remember!

Like on the side of this bitch's face
and I'll throw it to you like a frisbee!

Sweeney, shut up!
- ...guarantee those rights...

Shut up, Sweeney!

I gotta read her... her rights!

Not this time!

Sayonara, sweetheart!
You can kiss your father in hell!

You can kiss my ass in the same place.
You're coming with me!

Deedee!

Come on! Do it!
- Give it to her!

You can throw up any time now, pussy!
It's gonna get ugly!

Oh, I wouldn't wanna miss this one!
- I'll tell you...

Limp dick!...

Like spring rain.

Tomato salmon casserole.

Ha ha ha!

Woo!