Bloodstone (1988) - full transcript

May your blood bring fortune
to those who have good in their hearts.

May your blood
bring death and destruction

to those who have evil
in their minds.

Your blood will live
in this stone unto eternity.

I gotta give you credit, Steph.

You really know how to pick
your transportation.

There's always a price
for Hindustani sabhyata.

Huh! It's all Greek to me.

Hindi. It means "the culture of India".

Yeah. On the way back,
we take the plane.

You're the boss, Sandeep.



Two hours to Madras.

Madras, two hours.

Two hours to Madras.

Two hours to Madras.
Madras, two hours.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah, sure.

Two hours to Madras.

Thank you.

Unbelievable, an Indian train
that's punctual.

Give it a chance.

There's still two hours
for it to break down.

I hope not because I have important
business to attend to in Bangalore.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't introduce myself.

- Paul Lorre.
- Sandy McVey.

- I'm Stephanie.
- Pleasure.



Are you two married
or just in love?

- We're...
- We're in textiles.

- Booming business.
- What kind of business are you in?

Strange, isn't it?

People always start a conversation
by talking about their line of work.

They could always start
with their sexual preferences.

- What about yours, Mr. Lorre?
- Mine?

Line of work. What do you do?

I'm in the import/export business.

So, what's your problem?
The price of the rupee is not going up.

Don't mind him, Mr. Lorre.
He's got a warped sense of humor.

Deep down he's a great guy.

Well, I never doubted that,
not for a second.

Exercise, old man, exercise!

Be quick on your feet, be deadly.

- Be aware!
- Ow!

Thank you for spicing up my boredom.

A select group of people
have been waiting for you to wake up.

Be in my office in two minutes.

And wash up.
I hate the sight of blood.

I'm thrilled to hear
you're interested, Baron,

but I too have an affinity
for the stone.

So I think a deal
is a trifle premature at the moment.

Let's just call it an offer
for the time being.

Well, that's very kind
but not nearly generous enough.

You see, to tempt me,
you must excite me,

and those figures
don't excite me at all.

No, I can't commit myself.
It wouldn't be... fair to my passions.

No, you see, I collect myself.

I must see how much desire is left
after I've been to bed with a ruby.

No, I don't mind talking on the phone.

Phone tapping in India,
my dear Baron,

will probably be invented
in a couple of centuries.

Goodbye.

All right, off you go.

Keep at a distance,
observe but don't get involved.

Take two men with you.

Make sure Lorre is alone,
not followed,

and safely on his way to Bangalore.

Buy yourselves some ice cream.

Something you're interested in,
Mr. Lorre?

No, no, no.

Oh, the stone of blood.

Bloodstone.

Seems like a neat job,
done right under Scotland Yard's nose.

Perhaps an act of justice.

The legendary ruby
should be returned to India.

Amazing how quickly you read.

I just glanced.

Well, you can have it.

It's a reprint from the London Times.

Isn't it surprising
what you can read between the lines?

The crime happened
over 5,000 miles away.

You talk like a detective.

You forget, Mr. Lorre, I'm in textiles.

But the way it reads in the paper,
someone very untalented

got really lucky with the bloodstone.

It certainly wasn't the work
of a professional.

The Titanic, Mr. McVey,
was built by professionals.

Noah was an amateur.

This is actually
a considerable misfortune, sir.

It's rather important
that we catch this particular train.

You miss one train, take another.

I'm prepared to pay you 130 rupees.

150, then.

150 American dollars.

We'll pay you in pounds.

Dollars. In advance.

If we don't make it on time,

we get our bloody money back.

Money, money, money,
that's all people talk about.

Whatever happened to love?

Watch out!

Oh, my God!

Why don't you watch
where you're bloody going?

Hold on.

Shut up, you stupid fool!

Look out! Look out!

Outrageous!

These taxi drivers
get away with murder.

I still do not understand,
Inspector Ramesh.

The telex from Interpol
was very clear:

Mr. Lorre is on the 4:10 express
from Bombay.

Why do we waste time
double-checking it?

Ha-ha-ha!

Machines make mistakes,
Inspector Maniam.

Pigeons do not.

You rely on your contraptions,
I will rely on my pigeons.

I knew it!

The man is devious.
He got off the plane in Bombay,

he missed his connection
and took the express.

I told you, my pigeons never lie.

Outrageous.

Certainly wasn't one of mi...

That's extraordinary.
Bang on time.

I don't feel at all well.

My friend, you have made
a very wise investment.

Come on, follow me.

The Windsor is quite a delicious hotel.
Most tourists stay at the Hilton.

Oh, but we're not tourists, Mr. Lorre.

We believe in the old saying:
when in India, do as the Indians do.

The Indians don't stay at the Windsor.

You can always improve
on those old sayings.

Besides, I'll let you in on a secret.

- We are not here just on business.
- You're not?

We're not. It's a front.

- A front?
- A front.

- Really?
- Really. We're newlyweds.

- Ah!
- A little of this, a little of that.

A little more of this,
a lot more of that.

You see, Wellman Fabrics
is my father's company

and while Sandy gets acquainted
with the family business,

I'm getting acquainted with him.

Hard to believe just last week
he was a cop.

Watch it, bloody fool!

What's the matter with you?

Beep! Beep!

Wait a minute!
Let me walk by here!

Ridiculous contraption.

A rice cart, Inspector Ramesh,
is not a modern contraption.

Nonsense! It attacked me.

I tell you, they know
who their enemies are.

It's him.

Oh, shit!

Will you allow me
to help with your luggage?

Oh, yes. Great.
That would be just...

...great.

Sandy!

- Where is your tennis gear?
- Right behind us.

I suppose we should part here
before we get lost and separated. OK?

- Here's your bag.
- Thank you, Mr. Lorre.

Good luck.

I wouldn't trust that guy
if I was you.

Oh, he's just a harmless little man
who's trying to help.

Over there, please.

Ah, Mr. Lorre, I recognize you anywhere.
And don't deny it.

- Deny what?
- Who you are?

- I know who I am.
- I know who you are also.

- Who am I?
- You know who you are.

- Who are you?
- Who am I?

- Inspector Ramesh.
- You heard the man.

- Now, follow me, please.
- Why?

Because...
Why? You know why.

- No, I don't know why.
- Well, then, I'll tell you why.

Because I said so, that is why.

This way, please.
This way, this way.

They got air-conditioning
in the hotel?

Of course
they have air-conditioning.

- Is there a problem?
- No problem.

Hmm.

One day I must clean this.

Thank you.

Mr. McVey, your suite is prepared.

- I am Bramboo, at your service.
- Yeah, nice to meet you.

This is for the ride.

I hope your stay in India
is a pleasant one.

Yeah, I got that feeling right here.
I won't forget India for a long time.

- Bye.
- Yeah.

If all Indians are like him,
I'm going to enjoy it here.

No!

Now I show you, bastards!

Can I leave now?

No, you cannot leave now, sir.

And pray tell why not?

- Because you are under arrest, sir.
- On what charge?

On what charge? On what charge?

That is a very good question.

And here is my very good answer:

because you have tried to smuggle
an illegal toothbrush into the country, sir.

Tell me, what kind of bristles are these?

I don't know, er... bristle bristles.

Regular toothbrush bristles.
How should I know?

Aha! Just as I expected.
This man is outrageous.

I wanna speak with my embassy.

I am so sorry, sir,
but all of our phones are not working.

Mm...

I wonder if I could talk you
out of that dinner party tonight.

Well, you could try.

Sandy...

You're doing this on purpose.

Spoiling your... appetite.

What was that?

About that dinner party...

What dinner party?

Oh, Sandy...

Oh, that's... that's so good.

Oh, yes, I love that.

What the hell
are they doing in there?

Sandy, where the hell
are you going?

- What's the matter with you?
- Sorry.

You're not gonna try to hit me
with that thing, are you?

Where is it?

And you, why don't you
clean up this mess?

What happened?

I don't know, but I'm just gonna let
room service get them outta here.

Look, if he calls his embassy,

you will be standing on the street corner
selling nimbu pani.

- I am deliberately making him wait...
- Shh!

...because he knows
where the bloodstone is.

And as soon as I let him go,
he will lead me straight away to it.

Aha, there you are!

Well, sneaking around...
I'm glad I found you

because now it is time
for you to be released.

Ah!

Hm...

Taxi!

Shit!

I just need a few hours' rest.
What's the cheapest thing you've got?

45 dollars.

45 dollars, that's...
that's highway robbery.

I'm sorry, sir.
That's the least expensive we have.

All right, all right, all right.

- Could just sign this register?
- Give me a pen.

I'll have Vincent
pick up your bags.

Housekeeping.

Freeze!

Ah, Mr. Lorre. May I ask
how you have acquired that?

- What?
- That!

Give me that bag before I am forced
to empty this on you.

You want... you want me
to give you this?

Very slowly.

Bring it to me.

Bring it to me. Yes.

Now move back.

Ah, Mr. Lorre, this time
you are not so fortunate.

I, Inspector Ramesh,
have caught you red-handed.

Ha! Just as I expected.

What kind of a man
would steal a woman's...

...balls?

Well, what do you think?

If you wanna buy me a present,
now is the time.

It looks like an antique.

So do I,
but don't let the looks fool you.

- Go ahead, bargain.
- How much?

It's an ancient relic,
a very valuable one.

2,000 dollars.

Keep it. Couple thousand years,
it might be worth the money.

Not dollars, rupees, ma'am?

2,000 rupees.

Not a fake one, it's the real stuff.

500 rupees...
We'll think about it.

I think we got problems.

Sweetheart, all honeymoon couples
have problems.

- We'll work them out.
- No, no, real problems.

- Real problems?
- Yeah, one big one.

One not so big.

- Are they still there?
- Yeah.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, shit!

- Let's hit the road.
- Sandy, I have to go to the bathroom.

Sandy, I'm serious.
Can I go to the bathroom?

You run and keep running,
don't look back for anything.

I'm gonna stay, decoy them.
Maybe they'll follow me.

- But what if...?
- Steph, goddammit!

For once in your life
you gotta do as you're told.

Now, go!

There must be a bathroom
around here.

Stephanie!

Stephanie!

Stephanie!

Stephanie!

Where is my wife, asshole?

Yeah, same to you, pal.

Let me make your life easier,
Mr. Ramesh.

Since I know your car won't start,
you can find me at the Hotel Atlantic.

But first I'm gonna buy a bottle.
Then I'm going to take a walk.

Then I'm going to find
a pretty street girl.

You're more than welcome
to join me if you like.

Me walk with a criminal?
Outrageous.

A thief is a thief. Wherever you go,
Inspector Ramesh will be watching.

I am like an elephant, I never forget.

- Which hotel did you say?
- The Atlantic.

I knew that, I was just testing.

Welcome back
to the land of the living, Mr. Cop.

What happened?

Your good fortune worked.
My men arrived in time.

Who the hell are you?

Last time I saw you, you were a cabbie.

A man of all trades I am.

What do you want?

It depends.

What do you have?

I have an American Express card.

I'm not even the one who pays the bill.

Are you missing something?

Yeah, my wife.

The rumor has it...
that you have also lost the bloodstone.

The what?

That goddamn ruby?

The only thing I know about it
is what I read in the paper.

You never seen it?

Other than the picture in The Times?

No. Why?

You know a gentleman
by the name of Lorre?

Lorre? Yeah, I met him on the train.

He sat right next to us. We talked.

The rumor has it
that Mr. Lorre stole the bloodstone.

Well, I'll be damned.

You will be if you have the ruby.

It brings misfortune and death
to all those who possess it.

Let's cut the superstition bullshit.
Get to the point.

I am interested in the ruby.

Well, I want my wife.

I get a feeling this can be
a profitable partnership.

Let me be clear about something:
I don't want anything to do with the ruby.

I want to find my wife.

I pay, I call the shots
and you work for me.

I don't take American Express.

Cash. Half now, half on delivery.

You help me find my wife,
you'll be a very rich man.

By Indian standards.

I can find anything
for the right price.

What about Lorre?

I can find Mr. Lorre.

What makes you think he'll talk?

I have my own special kind of... charm.

OK, we'll try it your way first.

If it doesn't work,
I'm going to the police.

You don't want to do that.

The police suspect anybody who asks
questions about the bloodstone.

You go to them,
they keep you for questioning.

I am unemployed, I take another job.

OK, OK.

Can't you go any faster?

No need, we are here.

Like they say,
the streets know everything.

All you have to do
is listen to the city.

Er... what do you know
about Ramesh?

Ramesh? Everyone in this country
is called Ramesh.

No, Inspector Ramesh.

He's after the ruby.
He's also after me.

For some accounts
that are still open from the past.

You were on the wrong side of the law?

The law has been
on the wrong side of me.

Good, this thing
is starting to make sense.

If Lorre has the ruby, then someone
connected Stephanie and I to him.

That would explain
the thieves in our room

and those same guys after us
at the market.

Uh-oh! Trouble.

Come on.

He's asleep. Get the girl out.

Shh.

Your wake-up call, Mr. Lorre.

Who... who the hell is this?

Let me refresh your memory.

The man on my right holding a knife
at your throat is my friend Shyam.

Shyam doesn't speak much English

so you make a wrong move,
he makes a wrong move.

I have... I have money in my jacket
over there on the hook.

I don't want money, I want my wife.

Mr. McVey? Oh, thank God!

I... I thought it was thieves!

Strange you'd mention that word.

You wouldn't know
what a thief is, would you?

Please, tell your friend
to remove the knife.

I... I feel uncomfortable.

OK, Shyam, let's cut it short.

Oh, Mr. McVey,
I have a very weak heart.

Please.

Somehow you got us involved
in your dirty business.

Someone kidnapped my wife.
I wanna know who, why, where.

I promise you, I...
I had nothing to do with it.

Play it again, Shyam.

Listen. No, please!

All I know is someone was
very interested in something I had.

I'm glad your memory
is coming back.

Van Hoeven is his name.
Ludwig Van Hoeven.

The Dutchman.

He's obsessed with power and money.
Please don't mess with him.

Thanks for the friendly advice.
Why Stephanie?

I don't know.

Shyam, did I mention to you
what your cut is?

All right! I stole the bloodstone.

I was lucky for the first time in my life.

But I don't know anything
about this buying and selling business.

I don't deserve this,
I'm just a small-time thief.

Van Hoeven is the one you want.
He's wanted the ruby his whole life.

And... and he bought it from me

and stupid me, stupid idiotic me,
I didn't trust anybody else to deliver it

so I brought it into India myself

and I panicked when I got
to the railway station and saw the police.

I slipped the ruby
into your wife's tennis bag.

That's... that's when Van Hoeven's men
saw me being taken away by Ramesh

and... and that's when I pointed to you.

I'm... I'm so sorry
for getting you into this mess.

Ramesh!

Ramesh?

- Hello?
- Good evening, Mr. McVey.

Who is this?

Now, now, Mr. McVey.

An ex-cop playing stupid
is not exactly my idea of a joke.

'You happen to know who I am

'and I happen to have as my guest,
of course, your wonderful wife.

'I'm sure the Wellman family
are going to be none too pleased

'to find you can't take care
of their offspring.'

What do you want?

A simple exchange:
your treasure for mine.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Just be a good chap
and all will be fine.

"The waterfalls on the road to Bangalore
when the sun is high.

"The stone of blood for your wife."

- Well, so much for the partnership.
- Why?

I can't play cop in this country.

I don't have what he thinks I have.
There can never be an exchange.

I'm going to the police.

The cops? No need for the cops.

- Are you happy now?
- You son of a bitch!

I love a man
who can give me a good fight.

- You want your wife?
- Yeah.

I'll help.

You're in great shape.

You can handle a gun. So can I.

I also know India.

Why are you in this?

You go to the cops,
they ask questions.

I have a lot of parking tickets,
among other things.

Really?

And I have no problem
becoming a rich man.

By Indian standards.

This is gonna be a straight deal.

Van Hoeven gets the ruby,
I get my wife.

And we both
get the hell out of India.

No tricks.

You try to con me, pal,
you're a dead man.

- Deal.
- I don't trust you for one minute.

And I don't trust you.
The perfect friendship.

It is a very clever set-up,
Mr. Van Hoeven.

But there's something
you should know.

I grew up in a house
something like this.

I'm not easily impressed.

That was never my intention.

I merely thought for the brief time
that you are to be my guest

I should make your stay
as comfortable as possible.

I'm glad we've defined comfortable.

- Can we now define brief time?
- Very brief, I'm afraid.

It seems your husband
is a reasonable man.

I'm expecting him shortly.

But you keep overlooking
one important fact:

he doesn't have this bloodstone.

Or so you think.

Look, we met Lorre on the train.

He offered to carry my bag.
I never saw him before or since.

Mr. Lorre, in spite
of his immense stupidity,

for once did something smart.

He got you to take the bloodstone
past Ramesh's men.

And then he probably
went back to the hotel

- and stole my bag from the room.
- In which he found absolutely nothing.

Nor did Inspector Ramesh,
who had your very expensive carry-on

torn apart in a very crude manner.

Now, this is a mystery, isn't it?

My dear, mysteries are nothing
but natural challenges.

I love a challenge.

Especially when no one else
is willing to take it.

Hey, Sandy, come on in.

Huh, this is what I call
preventive medicine.

Hey, clean and simple,
just exchange.

That's the way Van Hoeven is gonna
want it too, without complications.

Watch out for snakes.

I was hoping
you'd say something like that.

Ooh!

Matamba. Completely harmless.

Whoa, horsey, whoa!

You outrageous horse, outrageous!

I am the inspector.
You are nothing but a horse... Argh!

Hey, hey, hey!

Shh.

There must be an easier way
to get there.

There is,
but I hope you can swim.

Sandy!

Over here!

- Can you see Stephanie?
- No.

I'm not gonna play games.

I've gotta give them what they want.

You crazy? They'll shoot you down!

You cover me.

All right! I've got the ruby.
Let's talk business.

Get back, Shyam!

It's a good thing
these guys can't shoot

or we'd look like the trunk of your car.

From now on, I am on double time.

Two of them got the red ruby.
Let's go after them.

Freeze! Turn around.

Come on, come on!

Come with me.

- No, please, please...
- Come.

- No. No, please. Mercy!
- I need to talk to you.

Watch it!
That's it, take a good look.

I have a family. Please!

- No...
- Oops, sorry!

- Next.
- Come on, come on.

I wanna find Van Hoeven.

He would kill me if I tell you.

That's the good news.

The bad news is, if you don't tell me,
I'll kill you first.

He lives at the old Bandaresh Palace.

- How many men in the palace?
- 50, maybe more.

Sounds like fun.
How do we get in?

- I-I don't know.
- My hand is slipping.

An old underground pass.

It's very old, but we use it
to go in and out to bring women.

- Even Van Hoeven doesn't know.
- Where's that?

The east wall,
near the Bull Temple.

- Did you get all this?
- No problem.

- You promised to let me go.
- You're dead right.

Come back!
Inspector Ramesh is coming.

Come back, you outrageous little horse!

Wait. Come back. Stop!

Inspector Ramesh is coming.

Come back! Come back!

Wait! Wait!

It's getting late.
Better be there by dark.

Like my father
always used to say:

a man with strong legs has no brains.

- So?
- I don't have strong legs.

You're not going to like the smell.

But the ride, very smooth.

Well, there's
the welcome committee.

Yeah, we'll wait.
It will be dark soon.

The Bull Temple is over there,
the east wall.

I'm glad one of us knows
where he's going.

Let's party.

Do we have to do this?

You don't have to do anything.

- You're merely the guest of honor.
- What the hell! Might be fun.

You do have a way
of mistreating your hostages.

Just see it as an adventure.
You don't get kidnapped every day.

Mr. Van Hoeven,
when and if you ever get your ruby,

and when I'm back with my husband,

I'll tell my friends about this
and they'll never believe me.

It's a shame that you won't be able
to tell your friends.

- I'm very discreet.
- You're also a dead man.

Great. Imprisoned perfection.

"Preserved" is the word I prefer.

You have a way with words,
don't you, Ludwig?

Oh, I'm thrilled to hear
we're on first name terms, Stephanie.

Just to ease the tensions.
Don't get your hopes up.

Shh!

Come on. Come on!

I don't know where we are going.

Shit!

Ooh!

Cobra. Very dangerous.

She's all yours, sweetheart.

- Holy shit!
- No, a Bengal tiger.

Van Hoeven wants the tiger
in the palace courtyard right away.

You first.

Make sure he's gone.

Ready?

Go.

I think we better find
another way up.

Hold it a second. Hold on.

Well, pal, looks like
you're on your way to the top.

Tell Jaseem to arm the guards.
Do it discreetly.

Your husband wouldn't play games
with me, would he?

Sandy is pretty serious
about almost everything.

It seems you know him
as little as I do.

He has been playing games.
He won a round, but not the match.

- Be careful.
- Don't worry, my ancestors were Irish.

Er... OK.

OK.

Lock.

What the...? Shit.

Nice of you to drop in, Mr. McVee.

The name is McVey.

"But then what's in a name?"
William Shakespeare.

"Fuck you." David Mamet.

Brilliant, Mr. McVey.

Now that we're done with the intellectual
competition, let's get down to business.

The bloodstone, please.

Thank you. Why don't you wash up?
I'll see you upstairs.

Let's make this ceremony
nice and simple.

It's a homecoming
for the bloodstone.

It grieves me to think
that it may be in transit,

but I am a man
who succumbs to temptation.

And significant bids may reduce
my desire to be hospitable.

- Just how hospitable was he?
- A real gentleman.

I'll bet.

Haggarty, Stephanie will bring me
the bloodstone now.

- Here.
- Thank you, Stephanie.

Mr. McVey?

Thank you...

for bringing me this...

useless piece of junk!

Stupid!

An amateur's perception of a fake.

- You little weasel.
- That bastard Lorre!

- I'll kill you.
- He gave us a fake.

How ridiculous you are to believe
you could get away with it.

Cute, Sandy.
Anything else up your sleeve?

- Maybe we could renegotiate.
- Oh, I don't think so.

This, Mr. McVey,
is known as "The Judge".

An ancient pistol
used to terminate dishonor

in the days when treason
was not as fashionable

or as casual as it is today.

I am a one-man jury
and I have just reached my verdict.

For my distinguished guests
from the United States,

a collector's item,

an 18th-century
silver bullet of Irish origins.

I'm afraid nothing so elegant
for my friend the taxi driver.

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

American civil war musket ball.

Already been used once.

But then waste not, want not.

No!

Out of the way!

All right, Mr. McVey!

Now, Mr. McVey, as you can see
I'm deadly serious about this bloodstone.

- Where is it?
- Take this!

Oh, my God,
it's first-century Ming.

This is gonna hurt me more
than it's gonna hurt you!

He's out!

Let get outta here!

Hey!

Nardesh!

Hi, Shyam!

You guys friends?

In India we are all related.

Come on, let's go.

What the hell took you so long?

My grandfather always told me

that if somebody is stupid enough
to do the dirty work for you

let them do it.

The bloodstone, please.

There is no bloodstone.

I mean, there is,
but it isn't here in India.

Never was.

Lorre brought in a fake.

However, you may be interested
in a rather stately Dutchman inside.

He won't be difficult to find.
He's out cold.

Van Hoeven, I believe.

He holds the answer to nearly 100
of your unsolved crimes.

I knew that.

I saved some evidence,
just in case.

Let's go, men.

Ah, many missing treasures recovered.

That outrageous
Ludwig Van Hoeven arrested.

Not bad, wouldn't you say, Inspector?

Yes, yes, very good,
except for one thing:

the bloodstone is still missing,
Inspector Ramesh.

Chief Inspector Ramesh.

Oh... I'm sorry.

If we merge with TransCom,

then repurchase the majority
from the stockholders,

we could regain control
over the company

and gain approximately eight points,

which, roughly translated,
works out to about 83 million dollars.

Yes, but when the stocks fall, we stand
to lose not only the majority percentage

but absorb the transactional costs
as well.

I still say we lease to ScorAm
with no purchase option.

Our risk factor would be negated

while the lease return
over a three-year period at 0.17

would yield nearly 120 million dollars.

You're all missing
the issue at hand here.

What we really need to do is...

Cut through the bullshit
and get down to the basics.

I may not know a hell of a lot
about mergers or buyouts

but I do know one thing:
I was just involved with a situation

which taught me
not to overcomplicate the issues.

When you're faced with a problem,
get to the heart of the matter.

Get in and get the hell out.

Gentlemen, the answer
is staring you right in the face.

All we gotta do is buy low

and sell high.

I don't see how it can get
any simpler than...

I'll be damned!

- It is simple.
- What?

I just thought of something
more important than textiles.

You stay and finish business.

Like hell I will!

Er... carry on, gentlemen.

Shyam Sabu, a man of all trades.

Get up.

How did you find me?

The streets know everything,
all you have to do is listen to the city.

- I can explain.
- Sure you can.

You little bastard,
you had it all along.

Hey, not me, you had it.

I had it?

You put it in the safety deposit box.

I also remember taking it out.

What you took out
was not the bloodstone.

In India you guys are all related.

- The man at the desk, your cousin?
- Married my sister-in-law.

My third uncle on my mother's side
is an excellent craftsman.

He made the fake.
I am very proud of my family.

- You nearly got us killed.
- A well-paid risk.

I couldn't have said it better myself.
The ruby, please.

- 50-50.
- Why?

I have a friend in Singapore
who will pay millions.

- Rupees?
- Dollars.

Not Singapore dollars,
American dollars.

Two thirds-one third.

I thought we were partners.

I've just been voted majority stockholder.

You are a tough negotiator.

60-40.

Uh-uh. 65-35.

- Deal.
- And I hold the ruby.

Outrageous!

Not so fast, Mr. McVee.

The name is McVey.

Never mind about the spelling, please.

May I have the bloodstone, please?

While we can still discuss this,
how about a three-way split?

The bloodstone, please.

I may sometimes give the impression,
Mr. McVey, that I am clumsy and stupid.

But as you can see, I am not.

Outrageous!

Er... Inspector?

As you well know,
the gem belongs to India.

And of course, we're delighted
that we could assist

in retrieving the stone
from evil hands

so that now it can be delivered
to its rightful owners.

Ah, yes, good.
Very good, indeed.

India will be most pleased
to have this back where it belongs.

There is, however, a reward
for the safe return of the stone.

Let me guess, you get it.

No, no, no, Mr. McVey.
Policemen do not share in rewards.

What kind of money
are we talking about?

Well, at the time the reward was posted,
it was 10,000 rupees,

in 1888.

Quite a good deal of money
at that time.

And in an interest-bearing account,
the reward is now seven million rupees.

I will also have that pistol, Mr. McVey.

- This pistol?
- Yes, that pistol.

All right, but I don't see what harm
there is in having a cigarette lighter.

Outrageous!

But very nice.

Seven million rupees.
How much is that in dollars?

Er... 575,000 dollars.

But you can't get dollars for rupees,
except of course on the free market.

Which reminds me
of my friend in Singapore.

Buy low, sell high.

Exactly.

50-50?

Two thirds-one third.

60-40.

No deal, slime.
Two thirds-one third.

I will be a rich man,
by Indian standards.

Deal?

No problem.

- Um... Sandy?
- What?

You know how it is
when I get excited. Um...

Do you suppose
that's a bathroom down there?