Blind Date (2015) - full transcript

Easy, easy, easy.

Excuse me,
I think you scratched it.

Nah, it's nothing.

So. Piano, no elevator:

150 euros extra for missy.

Really?

No, gents.

We already paid that fee. Just look.

It's written here.

He can read, yes?

Here.



Thanks, anyway.

Thanks, Ma'am.

Miss.

Here. Take a copy
of the keys.

So we celebrate tonight?

Yeah... yeah...

I'm not kidding.
You're going out. I'll call.

BLIND DATE

So, like if I pull tonight,

We go together, your head's a trophy.

You have a wall?

Uh, so I wanted to ask

If you could lend me 15 euros...

You front it so we can have a drink.



I don't get it.

Not funny, huh?

- Just a joke. I got the bread. Don't move
- Great.

A dead light bulb is brighter.
But he's hot.

You're not so hot
with the snappy patter,

- but can you dance?
- Dance? Me?

Sure I can! I'm bad!

You're gonna see ginger power!

I love it!

See you later.

I saw you and you looked uncomfortable,
so I...

I thought I might amuse you.

Maybe even make you laugh.

Hey, a smile!

Hang on, I can do even better.

Excuse me, I'm sorry. Excuse me.

No, it's my fault.

No, it's me. Sorry.

In all honesty,
this isn't really my element.

Mine either.

And really, it's crazy
how people can be so...

I expected you to call!
What's wrong now?

Hang up!

Goddamn phone!

Pipe leaking? Termites?

No.

No, everything's okay.

It's just to thank you for the help.

That's all.

Love you.

That's sweet, Boo...

- She hung up.
- Hung up! Great!

You could've lasted one day!

It's not how it looks.

I'm locked out and the locksmith
can't come until tomorrow.

The real world's not easy.

Okay, I... I get it.

It's good that you're here.

Tomorrow we can start first thing.

But, like I tried to say,

I can prepare my audition alone.

Fine.

I'll be gone early.

So your new life, how is it going?

Okay.

- I'm giving lessons.
- Lessons?

After 20 years of piano, giving lessons...

Don't worry. I'll sleep on the sofa.
I'll be gone before you wake.

As you like, my little girl.

But you know where your room is.

I got the Pink Lady apples.

No quinoa crackers, so I got buckwheat.
Okay? Same thing, right?

Not at all,

But forget it.

If you didn't eat like a chick...

That's why I can still see my dick.

It gives you someone to talk to.

- Still working on Ultimum?
- Ultimax, moron.

You're totally hung up on it.

No one will play a game so complicated.
It's unfathomable.

That's its beauty, its genius!
You have to invent it to solve it! It's...

That's truly pathetic.

It's not for your cell phone junkies.

Stop! You're a real pain.

Put it back, please.

There.

Put it back for god's sake!

A real ball buster.

Your turn.

So how was your week? Busy?

Meetings, liquid lunches,
like fun, you know?

Thursday I got a call.

It was a wrong number.

Otherwise, no distractions.

Wait! They tried to rent next door.

And so?

Got 'em on the first try. Gone.

It's not improving.

Everything's fine.

- For 7 years now...
- Stop busting my balls!

Watch your queen, level 3.

I'm the only one
who cares about you.

And I piss you off.

And when the royalties end?
You gonna sell your body?

Buzzle is eternal. Don't fret.

Oh yeah?

Just look at this.

Sons of bitches!

Goddamned jackals!

You'll never get a penny for that.

Maybe it's time for reflection.

Do you want to be alone forever,
with that filthy pigeon?

And you? Scratching at your ex's door,
hoping to get laid?

Triple check and mate.

Go back to your mom's.

You can't both gab and play.
What do expect?

Okay, get back home!

Good morning, sir.

I'm your upstairs neighbor

And I wanted to know if...

If you've heard any strange noises?

What?

Like noises at night?

It's not important. It's not important.

I don't need anything.

Thank you.

You're breaking my fingers!

Is someone there?

This is insane.

I don't understand.

It's you moving the picture?

Hey, do you hear me?

What's your aim? To scare me?

I'm talking to you! You could answer.

I heard you. You're busted.

Could you put the painting back?
Please?

She busted my fingers, the bitch.

You going to explain?

Look, we have
a bad soundproofing problem

Between apartments. The wall is hollow.
We hear every sound.

Oh?

And forget the management.

It's not the same building.
Nor the same district.

We're stuck together
by an architectural anomaly.

So I got fed up,
and I came up with this system.

But it's absurd.

Well, it's worked like a charm until now.

You need some help.

I have almost no rent
and a superb view. My job's creative.

I'm inspired.
I can only work here. That's it!

And I was here before you.

And that's all.

So don't settle in.

You'll crack before you unpack.

Hey, look...

I understand your concern,
but surely there's a way.

I don't know. We could manage to...

To organize.

To not disturb each other.

Do you prefer working
in the morning? At night?

We could arrange working in shifts.

And to take a piss?

Day or night?

Well?

No. Not a piano.

I can ruin your life.
It'd be a shame.

Can't we manage an agreement?

Okay. Okay.

That's not nice.

And I've got a classical education,
I mean, on the piano.

I was top in my class.

Turn over. Give me your ass.

Give me your ass.

And of course, I can give... give lessons
to your daughter, with no problem.

So, as I was saying,
I have ten years experience and...

No, we have a bad connection.

So, it's 30 euros per lesson...

Hello? Madame?

Are you gonna stop? Godammit!

Oh shit!

No! Oh, shit!

He's out of his head.

There you go!

I bet this hurts!

Is that the best you can do?

Ridiculous.

If you think that'll do it...

I'm laughing.

Two...

Minus... The root...

Okay. That's enough.

Stop the metronome. It's infernal.

Hey! Whosit!

Okay! You win! I give up. Okay?

Perfect.

Now, like adults.

We just have to organize.

You.

Me.

No, but... I just need...

Let me explain!

3 minutes... just 3 minutes!

There you go.

Oh no!

That was “Fluid
and Quantum Mechanics”.

And now, Jean-François Elie
with the news.

We'll see you next week
at the same time and the same station.

Excuse me, but...

Yes, I know I'm breaking our...

But you don't play Chopin like that!

How's that?

- The gentleman is an expert?
- I'm no expert.

My father worked at the opera
and I lived on the music.

I was stuck backstage, listening to...

I've been listening to you for days.
It's all perfect,

Technically speaking.
But who gives a damn!

You don't get Chopin.

Like the Nocturne.

You know what they call it?

“Murmurs of the Seine.”

You're not murmuring, you're whispering.

You don't take it on. You've got
no feeling, experience, warmth...

You've got no soul!

And Chopin needs a heavy dose of soul.

And not everybody has that.

I'm sorry, but...

I had to say so, all the same.

Don't be so kind.

Well, go on then. I'm listening.

More intensity.

Make it flow. More...

Let yourself go with it!

Right! Let it take you!

And now...

And now...

Let go!

You'll feel it right away.
Yes, yes, yes!

Feel the beauty?

What's so funny?

What are you, 70 years old?

There's no age limit for Serge.

I...

I've got a question that's bugging me.

What are you tinkering at?

I invent.

Or... I used to invent games.

Now, it's more like
solitaire brainteasers.

Know what I mean?

Yes, like, like Rubik's Cube?

Yeah, kind of,
but Rubik's Cube is for kids, really.

I'm into a more elaborate kind.

What you hear me tinkering with
is my latest creation:

The Ultimax.

The Ulti what?

I use a sphere's symbiometry
to create parallax effects and

Confuse perception.

Admittedly, it strains the ergonomics...

So. It's a big project,
and I've been at it 7 years.

Wow, 7 years. That's...

Anyway, that's it.

And you, you're a professional pianist?

Well, I'm trying.

But I quit competitions a while ago.

How come?

At the international competition
in London 15 years ago,

I was a disaster
on the Fantaisie-Impromptu.

And since then
I've been terrified of juries.

I get panic attacks.

Hey, even the greatest
get panic attacks. It's normal.

And you too? You get them often?

No.

No, I'm... You see,

I'm not particularly comfortable
in society, with people.

You know what I mean?

People, they're...

When you're out, don't you feel
like slapping everyone in sight?

Why no.

Really?

That's funny.

In any event,

You're really gifted.

You play really...

You're good.

I know I play a bit stiffly.

But just then, I...

I listened to you.

I never played like that.

So Artus shops for you every week?

Twice a week, yeah.

But why does he do that?

Because he's my pal.

Anyway,

What are you like?

Like? Like how, like?

I mean, physically.

Tall and blonde.

And you?

Me? Well, I...

Me, I'm...

Good-looking.

Kind of tall, slim.

I like uhm... I like nice threads, too.
Elegant duds.

I've got dark eyes. Mediterranean,
you know? Dark wavy hair.

And I'm really into shoes.

Cowboy boots.

I wear cowboy boots a lot.

- Cowboy boots?
- Yeah.

Like in Westerns.

Westerns? So you really are 70!

Aw, that's not nice.

It's kind of fun, talking like this.

Without seeing each other. It's quite...

Quite nice.

Yes.

You just have to not see someone
and you listen better.

Interesting, isn't it?

Like blind piano tuners.
They've lost one sense

But the others are increased.

Exactly.

If people could just
see each other without talking.

Just imagine.

Finally having really good dinners.
Appreciating the flavors.

The other's gaze.

And hearing less bullshit.

An ideal evening.

So it's not so bad having a neighbor?

All the same, it's still a pain!

But I admit, it could be worse

Than waking to a woman
singing in the shower.

You hear that, too?

Yes, I do.

And just some guidance:
in Aretha's song,

It's not R-E-S-P-E-T-C.

It's R-E-S-P-E-C-T that she's singing.

Well, yeah.

R-E-S-P-E-T-C.

No, not that. Not tee-see. It's see-tee

Like respect is spelled.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

It's respect, not respetekeh.

Or it doesn't work.

R-E-S-P-E-T-C.

This is crazy!

You're doing... It's...

Think of the word city. You say
see-tee, not tee-see. It's no good.

Maybe you're a bit dyslexic.

No way.

Mixing syllables, letters...

Okay, okay!

Good morning, Whosit.

Good morning,

Whatsit.

PIANO LESSONS

That's good, Juliette.

Thank you.

Are you losing it, man?

Horseshit.

Young guys... it's gotta be due to porn.

The things they know! It's crazy.

So, anyway...

Three orgasms. Three! Can you imagine!

Like electroshock!

Hey!

Great show. I'll take the girls.

They'll love it.

Hi sweeties. We were just...

- Hey.
- Okay.

It's good to see you.
How's the new place?

It's not big, but it feels good.

You're beautiful, my love.

Thank you, sweetheart.

You can get back to your girl talk.
I'm off to my rowing workout.

I've met someone.

Really?

Why didn't you say so?
Tell me everything!

Handsome? Tall?

How old? What's he like?

Uhm... well, like...
In fact, I can't really say.

I've just heard him.

A new thing, like silent dating.

- You meet but you don't talk.
- No. Not at all.

It happened to me once. No words.
I followed a guy to his car,

And then he went down on...

Down on what?

Breadcrumbs!

I'm getting a soda.

So you put the veal
into the pan and brown it.

You okay, Auntie?

Yes.

- You look a bit weird.
- Really? No, no.

I'm fine.

How's school?

Heavy, but necessary.
And I've got homework. Later.

Hey! Your stuff!

Whatever.

The young guy!

- Look what he sent me.
- What's that?

Something wrong?

Not at all!

What's up? What were you discussing?

Cakes.

Right.

I gotta call a guy.

Don't get led around by the nose!

You don't get it.
That's so 20th century!

I'm fed up.

I don't want her to end up like me.

Get married and have kids at 18.

What were you saying?

Nothing at all.
Well, I better get going.

Love you.

Wait up! You gotta look.
I don't get it at all.

“Crazy 4 yr...

“Love yr booty.”

What's a booty supposed to be?

Booties! Like baby's shoes!

Silly girl.

Sure. You're right.

Sign this.

The nature trip.

That's it. It works out just fine.

K... X minus 12...

Parallax of mirror... V12 opposite
the diametrical vector, the pivot...

From the gentleman.

And here you go.

Could I... Could I borrow a pen and paper?

I propose an ideal evening.

8 o'clock, 6 Birds Street, sixth floor.

Just one rule:

Shhh!

That's very good, Juliette.

Thanks very much.

There you are.

The cep risotto's good!

- And with four cheeses?
- Delicious!

That's good, too.

There's a new one: veal sausage!

Same as you.

I didn't... And I told them, too!

I'm not psychologically ready
for veal sausage risotto.

So you'll skip the one with lamb's brain...

Marinated in pig's blood, I suppose.

And after that they simmer it
in a tripe bouillon

And then let it all go ripe. So it's...

My weakness is for gazpacho

Made from old rubber bath plugs.

17 euros 40, please.

Okay.

Thank you.

Who is it?

It's me, chump! I'm in deep shit.
I'm having a drink

And someone's pickpocketed my wallet.
You gotta help me out!

You gotta be kidding!

It's just next door.

It's your problem.

I'm not going out. Call your ex.

That's the problem.
I said I was playing chess with you.

What what?

That's right.

I'm with a chick.

I don't want to know. Deal with it.

Yeah? Next time you deal
with getting your bulgur.

You're busting my balls.

Where are you?

Can I help you?

Yes, please.

Thanks so much.

You're welcome.

Sir?

I'm not eating.

Ah, there he is.

How much you need?

Have a drink.

I'm not thirsty.

Sit down, I said. Just five minutes.

So Myriam's just set up a company

Doing smartphone games
for 3-to 6-year-olds.

And Artus has told me so much about you.

I'd love to have you both.
We could do great things together.

It's 3-year contract, with royalties

On every game.

Three years renewable.

You know what this is?

It's not a phone. It's a spare brain.

Do you see around you?
You see these people?

The phone's always on table! Always!

Not dinner for two! It's three!

And you,

Asking me to lobotomize kids.
Turn them into zombies?

You should be ashamed.

That's my phone!

Hey, pal!

Are you crazy?

What? It's for his own good.

You're at home?

No, I'm here!

Signore, excuse me!
I made such a mistake!

I'm sorry! You have to go!
Excuse me, I'm sorry!

What a fool!

You all right?

Yes! Yes, yes... well, no.
It's okay. It's all taken care of.

But, you... Where were you?

You went out?

Yeah, and I shouldn't have.

You can't imagine
the panoply of idiots I saw.

It's good to hear you.

Huh?

What an evening I...
In fact, I thought that...

Oh, forget it.

It seems we both had a rotten night.

Yeah, really rotten.

Whereas the...

The night we had the other time...

It was...

It was...

It was...

Lovely.

Very lovely.

Whosit?

Yes?

Like it or not,
we're in a sort of relationship.

Yes...

If you want...
I don't know. Maybe we could...

See each other?

I mean...

Maybe you could... come over,

For a drink or...

I'm sorry. I...

I'm sorry.

I'm pathetic. I don't know how to...

No, no, no. It's not that.

It's not that.

It's just that I thought that

Maybe we could stay like this.

No seeing each other, no dependence.

A simple relationship.

You don't like intrusions

And I don't have any desire
to wind up clinging to a man.

But we could still be...

We would be together?

Yes,

Together.

But separately.

Is that possible, Whatsit?

Yeah, I think it's possible,

Whosit.

Even if Béchamel makes the lasagna,

The rigor begins with the vegetables.

Doing okay?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Great.

And the onions?

A nice color?

Yes. Yes. Great. Great.

Doing just great.

Ah, perfect!

Careful with the milk: 25 centiliters.

No more, no less.

23... 24...

Got it!

180° Celsius.

And now the tarte Tatin.

People think
the caramel is most important,

But they're wrong.

The real finesse is turning it out.

There you are.

I'm done slicing.

Hi, Asshole.

Hi, Shithead.

- Here.
- Oh, that's nice.

I knew it was bullshit, this story
about the chick. It'd be too good.

Yeah. Shut up and get a glass.

Hi!

Hi!

Where are you?

The bathroom.
Come in. I'm putting on my face.

Putting on makeup?

Well, I'll be!

- You like it?
- Yeah, you look great!

What's that smell? Is something burning?

No. No.

Taste this 2011 Angelus
and tell me what you think.

Thank you.

- Ah, that's nice, isn't it?
- Yep.

Hey. You made a tarte Tatin?

But you haven't since...

Hey, it's got to come out of the oven.

It's got to come out of the oven!

Okay, so take it out.

What's this lunacy?

You've made yourself pretty for me.
I'm flattered.

In fact, there are four of us.

Charlotte,

This is Artus.
Artus, Charlotte.

This is ridiculous.

I... I don't understand this.

Who's talking?

I tried to tell you last time.

It's my neighbor... who I live with.

What the...

You can't be like everyone else!

I mean...

- Do you see each...
- No.

Okay.

So, it's just me
who doesn't understand?

I invited you to dinner tonight

So you could meet someone
who means a lot to me.

Who means a lot to you?

Yes.

He was my neighbor.
And now he's more than a neighbor.

You mean he's your guy?

You could put it like that. Yes.

In any event,

Delighted to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.

I see.

So, you're why he's less a pain?

That's saying a lot. But he has his ways.

To say the least.

No, but you don't give me
any reason to be a pain!

Quite the opposite.

In the morning I avoid you
before your coffee.

Well, I'm trying, too!

Yes, it's true.

Really, he's trying.

What?

That's sweet.

Really! Whosit, Whatsit,
it's... ridiculous.

But Charlotte, you call me Booboo.

I know it's difficult to understand,
but it works.

We're happy.

No! Stop right there.

That's not happiness!

No. Happiness is...

It's sharing things.
It's sleeping together.

Being there for each other.

We do all that!

Not at all!

Happiness is... is touching.

Holding each other.
The other's eyes. The smell!

Yeah, smell is really important.
Especially after a rowing workout.

You told him?

Well, he's my guy.

What we're trying to explain

Is that we've got what's essential.

We're not going to flip out
over decorating,

The toothpaste cap, the dishes.

Underwear on the floor,
hair in the sink.

If I want to stay in my pajamas...

She stays in her pajamas.

If I want to work all night...

He works all night.

It's support...

Without intrusion.

If you want to scratch
your balls all day...

Then I scratch!
It works out just great.

It's fantastic!

Except there's just one hitch.

In a loving relationship,

It seems to me,

Seeing is essential. Know what I mean?

To read between the lines.

And you, well,
you're obliged to say everything.

Right! Exactly!

But I can tell you something.

I've learned you can see

Better without seeing.

That makes no sense.

- Let's have dessert.
- Good idea.

You made a dessert?

What a tart! A masterpiece!

Oh, that's cute. But I don't think

We're eating the same thing.

It's the first time
I've ever seen you cook, Booboo.

Hey, did he tell you

His mug is like a fruitcake?

Not that he's not ugly. He's...

Different.

I see him just as I want to,
and according to my mood.

Yesterday it was Will Smith.

That's funny.
His voice makes me think, kinda...

What's that?

Uh... nothing.

Actually, we were trying to picture you.

Well?

You go first.

Okay. Charlotte, I see you to be

Of average height.

No. More like petite.

Brunette,

Short hair.
A bit like an uptight teacher.

Curt on first impression,

But on getting to know her,
you say, Hey, she's nice.

And attractive.

At least, in your own way.

That's great. You nailed it.

Okay, it's my turn.

I imagine you as

Potbellied,

Or at least not athletic.
A bit shaggy-headed,

Hair uncombed.

Poorly washed. Or not at all.

Bags under the eyes.

A guy who doesn't sleep a lot.

And the kinda guy
with his head in the clouds,

Who's always got
soup stains on his shirt.

Wow, Charlotte.
You're right on the money!

Incredible.

I do wash, at least.

Just kidding, Artus.
I'm sure you're good-looking.

In your own way.

I bet you'd fall for me

What with my devastating smile

And my scent of soap.

A sort of cocktail of the dangerous

And the delicate. My little chickadee.

The things you say!

That's right, my pet, you know.

This isn't so bad, after all. No kidding.

Thank you.

I had a wonderful evening.

I'm really happy for you.

And hey, the sister...

Nice.

Go on, piss off!

Go on.

Beware of chickadees.

Nothing. Go on.

Serge Lama, 1968.
D'aventures en Aventures.

Magnificent.

But from affair to affair,

From train to train,
from port to port,

I swear to you again,
I'll never forget your body.

Turn off the light, I'm beat.

I haven't finished my crossword.

I'm struggling. It's level 4!

Key to happiness,
four letters, starts with W.

Wall.

Goodnight my Whosit.

Goodnight my Whatsit.

Hello, Evguénie.

Okay.

You've got a visitor?

Who is it?

My piano teacher.

Ah.

And?

I used...

I used to live at his place.

I see.

I didn't know you still see each other.

No, no. We don't see each other.
It's just for the contest.

Okay, okay.

And... You'll see he might be
a bit severe with me

And a bit harsh in talking to me.

I'm just asking, please don't interfere.

Really.

Evguénie is a... a very great pianist.
And very influential.

I can't antagonize him now.

Very well.

I'll put a sock in it.

To wind up in a maid's room!

I'll send Maria to clean.

No, no. I'm doing just fine.

It's wonderful you've freed yourself,

See the world,

And have finally become
your own mistress.

- A drink perhaps?
- I didn't come for an aperitif.

I came to see what
you can do on your own.

You want to hear the Impromptu?

No. The Mendelssohn's more important.

I doubt you'll be allowed two.

Is this a joke?

Get a hold of yourself!

I didn't cross Paris
to hear Mendelssohn massacred.

Impossible!

You got a left hand grafted on.

I'll do it again and get it.

Everything's forgotten, eh?

So. Concentration, precision,

And...

Go on... and...

Posture.

There you are, my little girl.

Go ahead, I'm listening.

Lovely gruppetto!
That's how to charm them.

Excuse me.

Something's in my eye.

What's this?

What's this joke?

What's this thing?

Who's doing this?

Is someone there? Well?

You hear me?

I don't like this at all!

I don't believe it!

What happened to you?

It isn't... it wasn't...
It's not me. It's that...

It's the hole there... that, that...

That's it!

I've an appointment. I can't stay.
You should work back home!

You've four days to avoid ridicule!

I'm... I'm sorry.

Okay?

He's gone?

Like a child! You promised to be quite!

Yeah, but I couldn't help it.

See what he called you?
“My little girl.”

Is that how he talks to you?

- Crap!
- You didn't have to listen.

What'd you have done?

I'd leave!
You have earphones!

If I were you, he'd get a headbutt
a t t h e f I r s t m yl it

Piss me off!

You all piss me off!!

Piss me off! You all piss me off!!

Shit!

Take that! And that! And that!

Dammit!
It won't break!! It won't break!!

It must be plastic.

Who... Whosit.

It's not so bad. Just calm down.

We'll talk and... Yeah?

There's no “we”!

You're not me! Or here!

I'm really sor...

Ad jingles. So that's
how she's mastered the classics.

No, really. Congratulations.

At 30 euros a lesson, it's a steal.

Stop.

Stop!

You can't sulk forever.

Aren't you going too far?

I accept it. I went way over the top.

But what I feel for you... It's...

In fact... I apologize.

I really think that Evguénie
is harmful for you. And...

Really not good
for your competition. Understand?

You understand what I'm...?

Whosit?

Good god! Wow!

Shh!! Not so noisy!

Oh shit! This is crazy!

I swear, it's crazy!

It's funny. You give piano lessons,

And I studied music theory.

So, I thought it was funny.

This way!

Move!

Doesn't she know you squat?

You'll get us seen. Move!

Is that it? Has he left? Was it good?

What are you on about?

I didn't know our thing was... open.

Who was it? Evguénie? Is that it?

Are you nuts? What's up?

Don't play the innocent. It's disgusting.

You know I hear everything!
You don't give a damn about how I feel?

Calm down. It's not what you think.

Stop it!

I don't need any crap
from a phony, hypocritical woman!

It's wrong to do that. It's squalid.

You could have gone to a hotel!

Lower your voice.
It wasn't me. It was my sister.

Sure it was!

I'm obliged to believe you!
Anyway, I don't have a choice!

I have to trust you, is that it?

Well, one day
you'll hear shrieks and...

I'll blame Artus or the TV.

It's too easy!

Too easy? You listen to me.

A jealous man destroyed me.
I'm done with that!

You don't order me about. No one does!

I'm nobody's little girl.
And I don't need anyone!

Just what is the relationship?

Who are you, finally?

You're just a voice. Nothing but a voice.

Which means I'm crazy,

Talking to myself.
Maybe you don't exist!

I do. I exist.

Is that all you have to say?

I've thought it out.

This is where it ends.

It doesn't make any sense.

It's doesn't work.

What? You want us to separate...

Separately?

Just take a look. We're already separated.

It's lucky we never saw each other.
It'd be harder.

I'll get another place.
I should've done it at first.

What do you want? That I come over?
You want me to?

Certainly not. My competition's
tomorrow. I need to concentrate.

I'll go to a hotel.

Know what? You're right.
We'll do it like that.

Except I'll get a place to sleep!

Sure! You? Go out?

I'm not totally crackers, you know.

Artus!

What are you doing here, Cakeface?

Thunder in paradise?

Well?

In fact, you've come here to sulk.

Why don't you two cut this shit
and you go ring her doorbell?

Okay, fine.

Let me summarize.

You finally find a nice,
charming, cultivated, pretty chick...

Pretty, I can't say.

Who supports your shitty character.

And you let her go. Is that it?

Your life's slipping away.

Wasting your time on an idiotic game.

You're like a jackal hiding in his hole.

I bet you won't even go
to her audition.

You'll never change.

The eternal fifth wheel.

We can't see each other!

We made a pact.

It would ruin everything. It...

You understand?

No, you can't. You're really...

Maybe. Maybe I don't understand.

But, me, I'll be there.

I want to see her.

It's seven years.

Seven years she's dead now.

Godammit.

You've got another chance.
One you never dreamed of.

You want to let it get away? Is that it?

You piss me off.

Now you've pissed me off.

He's not here. No big surprise.

Candidate number 8.

Are you all right, Miss?

Are you ready?

Yes. I'm ready.

No, no, no. Not like that.

No, not like that, Whosit!
Not like that.

You're not allowed here!

- Let's go.
- I'm staying 'til she's done.

You can listen
in the hall with everyone!

No! We mustn't see each other!

Oh, my god.

The guy's crazy. That hurts!

Let go!

This is your chance, Whosit! Now!

Let go! Let go!

Thank you Miss. That will do.

No, I'm starting again.

It's not worth it.
Candidate number 9.

Candidate number 9!

Give me ten seconds, please.
Ten seconds.

You're really heavy, man.

Hear that? It's magnificent.

Please.

Bravo Booboo!

Bravo Whosit!

Well. Delighted.

Mutually so.

- That was a great dinner.
- Surprisingly so. Really.

Except for my meal.

You mean... the tarte Titan.

Oh boy, that tarte...

Excuse me.

Bravo!

I'm really proud of you!
You were great. Great!

Wow, fantastic!

Just imagine!

I understood
the cooking wasn't top notch,

But as for the piano... Congratulations!

Thank you.

Artus?

Isn't he interesting?

I mean he's got something, doesn't he?

I'll be right back.

If you think shaking your hair and an
open blouse is pianistic expression,

You're wrong, my little girl.

Holy shit!

You've gone mad, poor girl!

You thought he'd be here?

He was!

Can I give drop you off?

No thanks. I'll walk back.

I... I wouldn't mind.

If it's okay with you.

Don't tell me...

Fine.

Where are you going?

Wherever you like.

Well then, let's go.

Okay.

Okay?

Let's go.

Whatsit, are you there?

Whatsit, tell me you're there.
Please tell me you're there.

I've so much to tell you.

What happened at the audition...
It was so...

I know our relationship is unique

And that it's exceptional.
I really do know it.

But...

But when I got outside...

I so wished you were there.

And now I so wish you were here.

In fact, my name's...

Mamma.

Papa.