Blank Check (1994) - full transcript

After committing check fraud, Preston Waters begins to live out his 12 year old fantasies by spending a million dollars in six days. But when it came to being an adult, he quickly realized that he didn't quite fit the bill. Miguel Ferrer and Brian Bonsall star in this 1994 kid classic that will leave you asking the question "why didn't this kid get grounded?"

Where are you?


Hello, beautiful.

Did you miss me?

Dad, I-I've given this
some thought,

and I've decided that
since Damien and Ralph
have their own rooms,

well, there's no reason
why they should be bringin'
their junk into my room.

Well, how's that
sound, Allen?

- Out of the way, stick boy.
- Hand & Foot is here to stay.

- Oops. Kicked your baby monkey.
- Get out of here, Ralph.

- Here, take this.
- Go away, Damien.
This is my room.

Was. Now it's also
the world headquarters of
Hand & Foot, Incorporated.

Hand & Foot, all the way. Hand &
Foot, Hand & Foot, Hand & Foot.

Hand & Foot? You guys
aren't gonna make a dime.

- Okay. We'll use this.
- Yeah.

- Hey! That's my life's savings!
- Oh, consider yourself
our silent partner.

- Yeah, say somethin'
and you're dead.
- Yeah.

- How's the big move goin'?
- Great.

- Good.
- Come on, Ralph.
Gotta get to work.



Well, I-I've given this
a lot of thought,

and I've decided that
s-s-since Damien and Ralph
have their own room--

- Preston, they need the space
for their business.
- Not my space.

Well, y-young man, in this
family, industry gets rewarded.

See, while you're in here
playing, your brothers
are hard at work.

-Yeah, kissin' butt for money.
-Well, you know the golden rule.

- He who has the gold
makes the rules.
- Right.

You know, one of these days,
you'll have a job.
When I was your age,

- I had my own business.
- I had my own business.

- Cleaning wheels.
I was pullin' in...
- Cleaning wheels.
I was pullin' in...

- a hundred bucks a week
polishin' cars.
- $75--

- You used to say 75.
- Well, you gotta think
big, Preston.

- Always tellin' the same story.
You got that?
- Surprise.

- Check it out. What's that?
- Whoa! Check it out!
- Yeah, it's for your business.

We had a spare at the office.
Damien, the speakers are out
in the hall.

- Uh, how's it work?
- Well, it, uh,

imitates human intelligence,
like you guys.

Hey, Preston, maybe you
could teach your brothers
how to use it.

- Not possible.
- Well, don't worry, boys.
Software in here...

will teach you
how to do everything
but make love to a woman.

Mmm, now I know what program to
get your father for Christmas.

- Mom!
- Oops. Oh, here.
Let me-- Let me have that.

Preston, honey, you're gonna be
late for Butch's birthday party.

Who wants to celebrate
Butch's birth?

- It's important to get
out of your room more.
- Our room.

Well, good-bye, guys.

Damien and Ralph
sleep butt to face.

Butt to face.Butt to face.

- Who said that?- Butt to face.
- Type quit.

- Butt to face. Butt to face.-
Hit delete. Turn it off!

- Butt to face.-
Pull the plug, man.

- Ow!
- Don't rub it. Be a man.

- Ouch.
- Little wimp.

Come on, Preston!
You don't want to be late
for Butch's birthday party.

- So, you gonna have fun today?
- How can I, Dad?

- I don't have any money.
- Ah, look. Here's
a couple of bucks. I--

Heck, you can have fun
all day on that.

You don't get out much,
do you, Dad?

Welcome to Fun Land.Fun,
fun, fun for everyone.

Welcome to Fun Land.Fun,
fun, fun for everyone.

- Hey. Hey, man.
- Hey, Butch.

Hey, man. Yeah.
Hey, what's up? Fun Land.Fun, fun,
fun for everyone.-Oh, look!

It's Presto the Pesto.


Aww. Tokens!

- Gimme 50. It's my birthday.
- Fifty.

- Twenty-five, please?
- Twenty-five.

- Twenty-seven.
- Twenty-seven.
- Six, please.



- Coming?
- I don't know.

- It's gonna be awesome!
- Yeah! Let's go over here!

- This one!
- Hurry!

- Hey, Preston.
- Preston! Hey, over here.

- Hey, Preston,
how's your ostrich?
- Watch out, Preston!

Hey, Preston! Come with us!
Just kidding.

Did you have fun at
Butch's birthday party?

I have a question.
Are we broke?

No, we just have to watch
our spending habits.

That's right. Like when your
mother calls her sister back
East and talks for 97 minutes.

So, if we're not poverty

there must be some other reason
I'm so deprived.

- We're outta here.
- Whoo! Goin' to the ball game.

- Can I go?
- We bought tickets, toad.

- Damien!
- You need some cash?

- Nah, we got a bunch of change.
- Later, Preston.

It's not fair.
Why can't I have anything?

Well, Preston, they have jobs,
and they've learned to save.

How can I save money
if I don't have any?

A penny saved
is a penny earned.

What do you want
for your birthday?

Money. So I can pay to have
Ralph and Damien knocked off.

- Anything else?
- Well, maybe we'll give him...

one of his birthday
presents early.

A gift came
from Grandma today.

What a rip-off.
It's a check for nothing.

I'm having a bad day.

Oh, your Grandma just forgot
to fill in how much it was for,

but she-- she signed it
at the bottom, see?

It's a blank check. Oh,
we'll just fill in the amount.

How much did you get
last year, honey?

- A thousand.
- Ten dollars.

Wait, Dad.
What about inflation?

Oh, make it eleven.

You'd be surprised how fast
$11 can grow with interest.

Preston? Preston?

Eleven dollars...

at 3.45% interest.

Your account will reach none
million dollars...

in 342,506 years.

I'm stuck here forever.

Lights out up there!

- Why?
- My house. My rules.

My house. My rules.

My own house.

Dave, who needs assets?
I'm your asset. I'm a big asset.

- I can't believe you---
Oh, co-- Dave, Dave--

Come on, come on.
Why only borrow $150,000?

- Our money is your money. Round
it off to two. - Do I qualify?

Of course you qualify for the
loan, Dave. We're golf partners.

-You don't look happy to see me.

- Quigley.
- Quigley.

That's funny. I don't
remember you stuttering
on the witness stand.

- You just sang like
a bird, didn't ya?
- Well, I had no choice, Carl.

- I mean, lying in court.
- You also pointed at me.
That hurt.

Well, I was under oath.
I mean--

Come here.

The only reason you're alive,
Biderman, is I knew I might need
you again someday.- Like today.
- Oh, sure. You need a loan?

Rates are great now,
and you get a toaster.

I don't need a toaster.

Before I went away, I put aside
a little nest egg.

Well, the-- these bills
are marked consecutively.

-They'd trace these in a minute.
-That's right.

That's where you come in,
old buddy.

I want new bills. We're back in
the S&L business, Biderman.

Oh, no. No, money-- money
laundering is very difficult
these days, Carl.

You still do it,
though, don't you? That's a
good-looking family right there.

You're not gonna
hurt them, are you?

- Hate to have to.
- All right. How do you
want to do this?

- I'll send my guy in tomorrow
with a check for a million.
- Tomorrow?

Yup, tomorrow. Just like
the old days.

- You give him the cash,
unmarked, send him on his way.
- Whom should I expect?

Whom sh-- Whom should you
expect. His name is Juice.

- Juice.
- Mmm. He'll be here in
exactly, uh, 24 hours.

Let's call it 1:00.

Come on. Walk me out.
Show a little respect.


I know how you feel.

- Hi.
- Hi. Can you see okay?

Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, sure. Uh,

I would like to open
an account, please?

Eleven dollars. Do you have
any other money you'd like
to deposit, Mr. Waters?

Oh, uh, I-I could, but it's sort
of hard to save around my house.
That's why I'm here.

I'm afraid we have
a minimum balance. It's $200.

Two hundred dollars!

That could take
a million years.

Well, whenever you're
ready, please come back
and see me, okay?

My name's Shay Stanley.
Ask for me.

Okay, I'll do that.

- Thanks.
- Bye-bye.

- I-I-I'll see you next time?
- I hope it's not
in a million years.


Excuse me. Oh. Carl! Carl!

Uh, here. You can use these
checks. They're temporary.

- Thank you, Edward.
- Like our relationship.

- Sucker!
- Give me that!

That's mine!
Give it to me!

Butch, give it to me!

- Preston, come on!
- Butch!

- Give it back! Whoa!
- If you can catch me.


Come on, Butch!


What the hell do you
think you're doin'?

- I-I--
- Huh?

I saw the whole thing.
I can be a witness,
if the price is decent.

Get out of here. He's perfectly
all right. Aren't ya? Aren't ya!

- Yes.
- Good. Get that thing out
from underneath my car.

What about my bike?

- Kid, was I the one
who parked there?
- My word! Are you all right?

He's fine. It was just
a little accident. He's okay.

- I think this guy's
been drinking vodka.
- I have not been drink--

I don't drink at all, seriously.
Seriously. Kid, talk to me.

-How much you want for the bike?
-A thousand bucks!

I'm not talking to you!
Bye, kid. Go on. Walk away.

What do you want, kid?
Name a figure. We'll discuss it.

Give this to your dad.
He'll know what to do with it.
I gotta go.

- Oh, man.
- I thought we understood about
taking care of our valuables.

It was a piece of junk.

Well, if that's how you feel
about a gift from your parents,

I don't see giving you
a new one for your birthday.

I don't want a new bike.
I want my own room.

I'm warning you. You're on thin
ice as it is about the bike.

You know what I want?
What I want is my own house.

My rules.
My money.

That's it, young man. Until
further notice, you're grounded.

What'd I do wrong?


It's a blank check.

Preston Waters.

Two hundred.

A thousand.

One million dollars.


One million dollars.

Hey, sonny.

Cashin' a big one today?

Uh, sort of.

Over here, young man.

- Well?
- I-I-I'd like to...

cash this check, please.

Oh. A comedian.

- No-No, ma'am.
- Okay, then we better take it
to Mr. Biderman. Come on.

Excuse me, Mr. Biderman.
We have a little problem here.

- What is it, Mrs. Udowitz?
- Someone thinks this is
some kind of game.

What? Let me see that.

I see.

Is there much of a line
out there, Mrs. Udowitz?

- Yes, we're swamped.
- Then what are you doing here?


- Juice?
- No, thanks. I'm not thirsty.

Not thirsty.

Mr. Quigley
give you this check?

- He did.
- He did.

- How did you run
into Mr. Quigley?
- I-I didn't.

He ran into me.


Brilliant. Brilliant.

- Oh.
- I suppose you want big bills.

Actually, regular size
would be okay.


That's cute.

-Put your backpack on the table.
-Hey, hey.

- I assume you know
what to do with this.
- Uh-huh.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.


Look here, sweetheart.
You're lookin' kinda good there.

You got your pearls
and everything on.

Hate for somethin' to have to
happen to 'em. Well, look here.
My name is Juice.

And I got somethin' right here,
and I wondered if you'd be...

so kind enough
as to cash it for me.

What do you want,
a million bucks?

Well, as a matter of fact,
I do.

Go see Biderman.

Mm-mmm. Oh, my
goodness gracious.

Here we go.
Here we go.

You tell Mr. Quigley that
he hasn't lost his touch.

- Uh-huh.
- All right? You can go now.

Hey, kid.

- Stay away from the racetrack.
- Yes, sir.

Goodness gracious,
looky here.

Oh, 'scuse me, sweetie.

- What's wrong with you,
little boy?
- I'm sorry.

Don't be a-messin' up a view
as good as all that.

- I-I'm sorry.
- What you doin' out of
school anyway, huh?

Now you know
you oughta be in school.

Go on and get up out of here
before I decide to get upset.
Hurry up.

How, uh, how may I
help you, sir?

Big Juice, man.

Quigley sent me.

- Everything is fine.
Not to worry.
- Uh-huh.

- The eagle has landed.
- Hmm?

The horse is in the barn.

The chicken
is in the pot.

Look here, man. I don't know
nothin' about no eagles landin'
and all of that.

I don't know nothin' about no
horses runnin' through the barn.

And I certainly don't know
nothin' about no...

chickens bein' in a pot,
you understand?

But if you'll do me a favor
as to be so kind...

as to cash this check right
there, I could be on my way.

Wait. Quigley sent you?

- That's right.
- What about the kid?

- What kid, man? I don't know--
- The kid!

- The kid with the backpack!
- Look here, man.

I'm tired of tellin' you this,
but if you don't give me
the money for that check,

I guarantee you...

there's a bullet with your name
on it in this chamber.

The kid with the backpack!
The kid with the backpack!

Backpack! Backpack!
The kid! Oh, my goodness.

One hundred
and fifty grand, cash.
That's my last offer, guys.

You're our realtor.
You tell us.

This offer is so much less
than our asking price.

Well, Mrs. Appleton, it
really is a buyer's market.

Do you mind if we take
a minute to think about it?

Listen, I got all the time
in the world, sweetheart.

Too bad I can't say
the same for you two.

Applesauce, what's with
the long face, my man?

I bought your pad. You got some
cash. It's a beautiful thing.

Su casa is soon to be mi
casa. You know what I'm

- Groovin' thing, man.
- Yeah, well--

- Hello? - Good afternoon.

- I'd like to make
a cash offer on your house.

- Someone else wants
to make an offer.
- Hey?

What? On this dump?

- Uh, hello, sir.
Can you hear me?
- Who is this yo-yo?

- One sixty.- What kind of
hustle is this? And what's with
your voice,


Sore throat-itis.

Yeah. I'll tell you what.

One seventy right now, cash.
I walk away. You take it
or leave it right now.

Ask the box.

One eighty plus
closing costs.

- One eighty...-
Top that, sucker.

- plus closing costs.-
One ninety, darlin'.

- Top that.- Preston, honey?
I have a few errands to run.

- I'll be back by 2:00.
- Okay. Bye, Mom.

- Two hundred.- Two ten.

- Just to be safe,
make that three.
- Three?

- How nice.
- Aw, Mom, you're killin'
me on this deal!

Come on. Are you tellin' me
we're gonna sit here and listen,
listen to some talking box...

- with a robot voice?
What is this?
- Uh, 300 it is.

Are you, uh,
prepared to top 300?

No, I don't think
I'm prepared to top 300.
Are you out of your mind?

We had a deal here. Are you
realtors just a bunch of crooks?
Is that it?

What's goin' on
with you people?

Well, I am sorry
you feel that way,

but I have an offer
on the table of 300.

- Thousand.- Uh, we'll take it.

- Sold.
- Yeah!

You probably won't live
to enjoy the cash.

Just one thing, sir. Uh,
what is your name?

My name is Preston--




My name is Macintosh.

Well, congratulations,
Mr. Macintosh. You have a house.


I'm rich!


Whoo, yeah!


Money! Money!

- You did what with my money?
- You're not gonna believe this.

He gave all your money
to a little old bitty boy.

That was my nest egg. That's all
I had to start a new life.

I worked hard to steal
that money, Biderman!

You gave it to some
zit-faced little kid?

Now wait a minute.
I-I seen the kid.
His skin looked pretty smooth.

- The boy had a check
signed by you.
- I didn't write a check...

- to anybody except for
this genius here.
- Hey, now, hold on a minute.

I'm not the one who cashed the
check for a million dollars.
That was this man right here.

- Had your signature.
- I said I didn't write it!

You gave me a checkbook.
I put it in my pocket.

I got in my car. I--

I-- I can't feel my legs.

- I-- Oh, oh, oh.
- Calm down.

I've got a surveillance photo
of the boy. W-W-We'll find him
in no time.

- Oh, yeah, that's him.
I recognize him.
- I can't see a thing.

I'd know him anywhere.

It's upside down.

All right. So where you gonna
find the kid, Mr. Family Man?

- Newspapers.
- Oh, you want me to advertise?
Is that it?

No, no, no. They-- They--
They have listings.

Uh, uh, family activities
where th-- uh, wh-where,
you know, things where kids go.

- See?
- Fine.

You're gonna help me
find him, you understand?

Dead or alive.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, don't think you ain't
comin' along with us.

Somebody's in there
with Biderman now.

A couple of guys I've never seen
before. They've just left.

The money laundering is
definitely on again.

We've gotta notify the
Bureau right away.

Hello, Limousines Unlimited.

- You have the car keys?
- No, you have the car keys.

- Oh, yeah. Uh, you make sure
you-know-who stays grounded.
- And he goes to bed early.

- You got it, Pops.
- Don't call me that.

- Excuse me.
- Sorry, kid. Nobody famous in--

Do you want to take your
mitts off the car, please?

I'm waitin' for
a client here.

- But I'm your client.
- Oh, right, yeah.

And I'm Madonna. Sorry, kid.
The boss doesn't like me takin'
baseball cards as payment,

so if you wanna ride
in this, you need some
buckaroos, buckarinis.

Some moolah, some dinero,
some money--

Some frog skins much similar
to the money you've given me.

In fact, identical to the money
you've given me right now.

I was just kiddin'
about bein' Madonna.

- My name's Henry.
- Hi, Henry. I'm Preston.

- Preston. Good to see ya. Yeah.
- Preston Waters.

Nice to meet ya. Hop in.

Go ahead.

I didn't actually mean
hop in, but--

So, where to, boss?

Well, Henry, I wanna go
buy some stuff.

Yes, sir.

The best things in life are free

But you can keep them for
the birds and bees

- Now give me money -
That's what I want

- That's what I want,
yeah - That's what I want

- That's what I want,
yeah - That's what I want

That's what I want

Hey, baby, your
lovin' gives me a thrill

But your lovin'
don't a-pay my bills

- Now give me money,
huh - That's what I want

- That's what I want -
That's what I want

- That's what I want,
ooh - That's what I want

That's what I want Give
it to me, baby

- Money - I want

Yeah Got to have some money

- I wanna have some
money, uh-uh - Money

Hey-ey, Hey, yeah

Money don't
get everything, it's true

What it don't get
now I can't use

- I want m-m-m-money,
hey - That's what I want

- That's what I want -
That's what I want

- That's what I want -
That's what I want

That's what I want Hey, yeah

- I want some money -
That's what I want

- That's what I want - Well

- Yeah - That's what I want

- Give me some money,
yeah - That's what I want

That's what I want

- Ice cream! Turn around, Henry.
- Oh, right on.

I need money, baby I
need some money

I just need a few

Hey, thanks a lot
for the great watch.

- You're welcome.
- Hey, you know, this guy--

- Uh, wh-what is it, McIntyre?
- Macintosh.

Ah, Macintosh. Yeah, yeah.
Uh, if you don't mind me askin',

where does he get
his money?

Well, he doesn't get it.
He just has it.

Well, why does he get a kid
like you to go out and, uh,
buy all this stuff for him?

He-- He never had
a real childhood,

so now that he's
really, really rich,

he can have all the fun that he
couldn't have when he was a kid.

- Oh. Oh, I see.
- You know.

So, he didn't have any fun
when he was a kid,

but now he's old
and he's got money,

you're a kid havin' the fun
for him now that he couldn't
have when he was a kid.

- Okay, sure.
- Stop! Pull over, Henry.
It's Shay. Stop! Hey!

- Ah! You scared me.
- Sorry.

- Preston, right?
- You've got a good memory.

- Great, kid. Very nice.
Very nice.
- Thanks. Nice wheels.

Oh, this? Uh, it's
my boss, Mr. Macintosh.

- Do you want a ride?
- No, thanks. I'm out of shape.

Not from where I'm sittin'
you aren't.

So, uh, I'm thinkin' about
comin' into the bank tomorrow
and opening my account.

Wow. You got
the $200 already?

- Just about.
- All right, well,
see you tomorrow.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Was that him?
Was that Biderman?

- No, some kid who came
into the bank today.
- Nice wheels for a kid.

Yeah. Says it belongs to his
boss. Guy named Macintosh.

Macintosh. When are we
gonna see Biderman?

It looks like a circus.

Hey. Hey, hey, move it.
You know, I've got work
to do too, you know.

Where am I supposed to go?
You see an opening? Huh?

Don't tempt me. Hey, what's
the holdup here, huh?

Yeah, same to you, buddy.
Hey, move it!

What is all this?

What a mess.

This is absolute madness.

Yo, who's in charge here?

You with the race car, put
it in the back yard.

Uh, the water slide goes
back by the pool.

You guys with the TVs, put
them in the living room.

Hey, uh, you with the
Cadillac, out by the pool.

You in the green jumpsuits,
bring that around the back.

- Preston?
- Hi, Dad.

- What's going on here?
- Movin' in.

- Who is moving in?
- Macintosh.

- Who's Macintosh?
- I'll be right with you, Dad.

Come on, boys.I
don't have all day.

Okay, Mr. Waters, the security
system is all in place.

Excuse me. This is the remote.
Here are the instructions,
all right?

We appreciate Mr. Macintosh's
business. Here you go, pal.

What's with
all the security?

Mr. Macintosh says you can never
be too paranoid, Dad.

Well, you know, who--
who is Macintosh?

I work for him. He's paying me.

Yeah, but who is he?
I never met him.

- You mean you haven't met him?
- No, I haven't met him.

- He's heard about you.
- Really?

Yeah, about work and stuff.
Really good things.

Well. Uh, his stuff
is blocking our driveway.

Dad. Boys!

Would you clear a path,

Get a move on it!

All set, Dad.

- I knew a guy who was tough but
sweet- Go, go, go. Go, go, go,

- go, go, go, go, go! - He's
the one who can't be beat

He's got everything that
I desire

Sets the summer sun on fire

- Brake! Brake! - I want candy

- I want candy- Flip, flip,
flip, flip, flip, flip, flip,
flip, flip, flip.

- Yeah - Body blow. Uppercut.

Body blow. Left hook. Uppercut.
Body blow. Uppercut.

Come on, come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on, come on.

Body blow. Eight, nine, ten.

- I want candy- Oh, yes!

I want candy

Go to see him when the
sun goes down

- Come on, Henry. Come on! -
Ain't no finer boy in town

- Hey. Whoa! - I want candy

- I want candy- The blood's
rushin' to my head.






- Is something wrong?
- No, I was wondering...

who can spend cash
like that these days.

- Yeah. Man's name is Macintosh.
- Macintosh?

Mm-hmm. He just moved here.

- Apparently loaded.
- Apparently.

I don't feel good
about being here.

- People may get the wrong idea.
- Really? You don't feel good?

How do you think I felt
when you gave away
my million dollars, huh?

Juice, see anybody
that looks like him?

Oh, yeah. He looks like him. Uh,
she looks like him right there,

and way back over there,
uh, there go his little
twin brother.

You give me one picture
and expect me to find him
out of all these kids?

You must be crazy. I'm gonna
get on the water slide.
I'm startin' to sweat.

Hey, mister, you know where
the refreshment stands are?


Ba-boom! Boom!
I got you!

Boom, boom, boom-boom!

- He says he knows ya, boss.
- Oh, well, uh, just--
just throw him out.

Ow! Oww!


I want candy

I want candy



- Hey- Hiya.

- I didn't expect
to see you here.
- Uh, what you doin' here?

I came by to see
Mr. Macintosh.

Uh, no, he's in a meeting.

That's okay. I'll wait.
I just really need to see him.

- He's in meetings all day.
- All day?
- Swamped.

Hey, I missed ya at the bank.
I thought you were gonna
come by and see me...

about opening up
an account.

- Uh, I-I had to work.
- Wow. This is where you work?

- Not too shabby.
- Comfortable.

I brought an application.
Do you still want to open up
an account with me?

-Okay, do you have your deposit?

- I-I'll go get it.
- Okay, great.

Whoa! That's amazing!

- Sorry. Just put it in.
- Two hundred dollars.

Looks like you fell
into some money, huh?

- I make a living.
- Oh, well, I guess
Mr. Macintosh--

He knows a good man
when he sees one.

Will he be opening up
an account with us?

- Uh, maybe.
- Yeah? Great. You know,
I'd love to meet him.

- How's tonight?
- Uh, tonight.

- What's tonight?
- Tonight's Wednesday.


Wednesday. I'm sorry.
He's busy.

- Too bad.
- Uh, but I'm not.

Well, I handle all
his financial affairs.

- You do.
- Not all of them,

but I could tell you a lot about
him, sort of like a pre-meeting.

- And he wouldn't mind?
- Hasn't complained yet.

Okay. I'll come by
around 8:00.

Okay. Wait. I could send
a car for you.

Okay, cool.
It's a date then. Bye-bye.

A date?


I've never been on a date.

Know what they call me
downtown? The babe-meister.

Think about it.

Okay, I'm gonna tell you
about the real deal on dating,
which I know, okay?

First of all, women love
a great body. They love--
Look at this bod.

- Whoa. See? Course, you know,
- Yeah, yeah.

you got a bod now that's of
a-- of a Greek god, really;
think about it.

I mean, women like you to have
a good bod 'cause they want to
feel they're protected.

You might have to
fight some guy, you know?
But not with those arms.

You don't want to hit a guy
with those arms, 'cause those
pythons'd take a guy's head off.

Seriously. You're buff.
But we're gonna get you
chiseled, okay?

Oh, wait. Wh-Whoa,
wh-whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm havin' a vision here of a--
of a date, the perfect date
for you guys.

- Uh, Steak Heaven!
- Whoa, whoa!

My little friend, you really
have the hots for this one, huh?

Hey, you know, if you
really want to go upscale,

that all-you-can-eat
salad bar; women love that.

Take some with ya, you know?
Line your pockets with plastic
bags, put the food in there...

'cause it doesn't say,
All you can eat here.

Does it say here on the sign?
I don't think so.

So you take some back
for later. 'Lil snackeroo.

Oh, women love that.
You get home and you got
a pocket full of hot wings.

Whoo, there's nothin' more
that impresses a woman.

Get yourself some flowers.
Get yourself a great body,

some nice hair, some
good clothes, a car,

and learn to say words
like noncommittal,

you are a date
and a half, pal.

There he is some Tiny Tim

There he is six-foot and risin'

Ooh, there he is He's
a one-man team

He's number one He's double cool

He's the naked truth
in magazines, I believe in him


- He is a Mr. Wonderman-

He is a Mr. Wonderman

Oh, yes




- Hey, I'm gonna get you.
- You are little sushi man.

- Sushi man down. Big boy
with rolly-polly sushi roll.
- Hey!

Then they chase around and
around. Oh the way, falls down.

Here comes the wonderman He'd
like to say bye-bye

Why are you dressed
like a game show host?

- I'm goin' out tonight.
- Just a minute, young man.

- You're still grounded.
- But it's for Mr. Macintosh.

I don't care.
Macintosh may have a pile of
money, but he doesn't decide...

when my son
is or isn't grounded.

- But it's for my job.
- Your job is to be grounded.

- Grounded.
- So much for Plan 442.

What do you know
about Plan 442?

Well, it's the investment plan
you've been working on.

- Your perspectus.
- Prospectus.

What are you doing
going through my work?

Well, I didn't want to say it,
but I told Mr. Macintosh...

about your Plan 442, and
he was very, very interested.

Yep, I promised him I'd
bring a copy of it tonight
and show it to him.

But I didn't want to tell you
just in case you got your hopes
all up and, uh--

No, no, no, no, no, no,
of course not. Let me get you
a fresh copy of the perspectus.

- No, I'll get a copy
of it, sweetheart.
- Prospectus.


- Here. You're welcome.
- Oh, thanks.

Hurry up. Go. Go!
You want the car keys?

Nah, that's okay, Dad.
I don't drive yet.

- Want me to drive you?
- No, it's okay.

You know, I still haven't met
Macintosh. Maybe I should go
over and meet--

- No!
- Why not?

You'll ruin everything! He has a
date tonight, and he's very
nervous about it. I guess I can
see him first thing in the

Oh, I don't know, Dad. I mean,
uh, might be up pretty late.

This woman.

Lucky dog.

Later, toads.

- Thank you. That's enough.
- Oh!


I can't believe Mr. Macintosh
went to all this trouble.
This place is great.

Mr. Macintosh has been
eating here for years.

Oh, yeah? I thought
he just moved here.

There was a Tangerino
where I used to live.

Hmm? Oh.

Compliments of the chef
for Mr. Waters...

and his lovely guest.

They-- They look
like lobsters only...



M-Mr. Macintosh wanted you
to have this too.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, wow.

This is beautiful.

Oh. But I can't
accept this from you.

But it's from
Mr. Macintosh.

- Why?
- Just a little business gift.

I mean, it's deductible,
isn't it?

I'm not really sure, but
it's way too expensive.

Mr. Macintosh has
a million dollars.

You know, a million dollars
doesn't buy all that much
these days.

Do you think he should've
asked for more?

What exactly
does he do, anyway?

Oh, little of this
and little of that.

- You know.
- No, I'm afraid I don't.

- Oh.
- Is he an entrepreneur?

No, he's American.
Very secretive.

He-- He has some questions
for you too.

Okay. Shoot.

- Are you married?
- No.

What-- What's the shortest
guy you ever dated?

Mmm, I'm not really sure.

- The youngest?
- You know, these are
pretty personal questions.

Well, Mr. Macintosh is
very interested in you.

- He is?
- He, uh--

He's never met anybody
like you before.

He's never met me before

Technically, no, but,

he's been thinking a lot
about you lately.

- He has?
- Yep.

Are you okay?

- Do you like hamburgers?
- I love hamburgers.

Never saw this kid before
in my life.

This is a waste of time.
Come on.

What's so special
about this place?

- You'll see.
- Mm, come on. Tell me.

- Okay.
- You gonna tell me?

- Come with me.
- All right.

- Where are you taking me?
- You'll see.

- See what?
- Okay, get in the middle.

- Here?
- Okay, ready? Five, four,

three, two, one.

- Holy smokes.
- Okay! Okay, now come over.

- Okay. Okay, now grab onto me.
- I don't believe this!

Okay. Okay, now
give it some room.

- Don't get wet.
- Get us out.

Oh, my god!

Okay, okay.

- No, we're gonna get soaked.
- No, now come--
come around here.

Come around here.

- Okay, hold onto me.
- Hey, where are you?

- Preston!
- Whoa, yeah!

This was a great idea, Biderman.
Where's all the kids, huh?

Carl, it's late at night.
I mean, all the little boys
and girls are tucked in bed.

- What do you expect?
- What I expect is when I give
someone a million dollars,

and I come back a day later,
I find the million dollars;
that's what I--

- That's what I expect!
- Carl, I'm, I'm--
Carl, I'm not a magician.

Oh, no, you can make it
disappear. You just can't
get it back, right?

- I'm tellin' you, Carl, I--
- If y'all want a kid so bad,

- there go one right over there.
- That's the little boy
from the bank!



- Go get him !
- Oh, I'll race ya to the limo!

- What? Okay, I'll race ya.
- I'll race ya to the limo!

- I got the door for ya!
- Open the door. I'm freezing!

Go, Henry!
Go, Henry, go!

All right, here we go!

He got away again!
I don't believe this!

He got away again!

This was the most fun.
I haven't done anything like
this since I was a little kid.

- Me neither.
- Thank you so much.

When can I see you again?

Well, I really have to
spend some time with my job,
you know, right now.

Well, uh, I-I'm having
a party. O-On Friday.

Can you come?
It's for Mr. Macintosh.

Um, it could be for
your business, sort of.

Mr. Macintosh will
really be there?

Uh-huh. Um, i-it's
his birthday.

Okay. Well, great.
It's a date then.

Uh, I'm gettin' out
up here.

It was really fun.

And, uh,

- I had such a good time.
- Me too.

Good night, Preston.

Good night, Shay.

- See you later.
- Good-bye.

- Good night, ma'am. Bye now.
It's been a pleasure.
- Thank you.

So you're havin'
a party Friday.

Oh, yeah, it's
Mr. Macintosh's birthday.

Oh, I thought you said
it was your birthday Friday.

Well, we're gonna have
a joint party,

- for the both of us.
- Oh, well, so it's a good
thing it worked out...

that your birthdays are
around the same time.

Hey, you wanna move that horse?
Come on. What is this, Bonanza?

Let's go.

Well, here we are.
Home at last.

- Thanks, Henry.
- My pleasure.

- Hey! Preston Waters.
- Yeah, Henry?

- You know what you got, pal?
- What?

- S-T-Y-L-E. Style.
- Style.

- Night, Henry.
- Night, pal.

Take it easy, man.
Good night.

Macintosh and I are having
the biggest birthday party ever.

- Honey, where's Preston?
- He's working for Macintosh.

Oh. Where's
Damien and Ralph?

They're working
for Macintosh too.


- Have you met Macintosh?
- No, I thought you met him.

-No, I haven't met him.
-Well, I haven't met him either.

Keep 'em comin'.
Mr. Macintosh wants me
to get plenty of practice.

Oh! Watch where you're
hittin' those!

Quit messin' around.
Macintosh is watching.

Where? We've still
never seen him.

Just get back to work.
He's watching.

Comin' out of the garage there.
Ruining the neighborhood.

Hey, Preston. Your
party planner's here again.

Piston? Piston! Piston.

Piston, turn off
this contraption.
I have wonderful news.

Mr. Macintosh's birthday
is gonna be the event
of the century.

We gonna make the front page
from coast to coast.

Oh, we are so lucky,
lucky, lucky!

- Now what kind of food
does Mr. Macintosh like?
- I don't know.

And who are his friends?
Do you have guest lists?

Uh, I don't think so.

You know, dew-drop, I think
I should meet him because...

I'm gonna need
a little cash deposit.

Oh, uh, here. Let me
get you some cash.

Ooh, yes, you do
have money, don't you?

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- You better be careful walkin'

with this much money darling;
somebody could just rip you
right off. Now you know
what?This first $10,000 is gonna

Now, of course, I'll get
the balance at the party.

And Mr. Macintosh
is good for it?

I am just so looking forward
to meeting him.

- Who isn't?
- Waiters! Security!

- Guest list, paparazzi--
- Oh, and, Yvonne?

- Yes?
- Remember, i-it's Preston.


- Hey, uh, hey, Henry.
- Uh-uh-uh!

It's attack of the 50-foot
chauffeur from hell!


I w-- I was just wondering
if you wanted to play
some video games.

Oh, man, I wish you'd
have said somethin'. I can't.

Uh, I promised some friends I
was gonna meet 'em in a while.

Oh, okay. N-No problem.

I'll tell you what. I'll drop
you over at one of your friends'
places on the way over,and you
can have some fun there.

Nah. Maybe I'll go
to the park.

All right. It's up to you.
Hey, Preston.

- Is my tie straight?
- Well, it looks perfect.

All right. Later.

Over here!

There it is.
That's the park up ahead.

Hey, where'd all these
kids come from?

Keep driving and maybe
someday I'll tell you.

- How did you hit a kid, anyway?
- I didn't hit a kid.

- I ran over his bicycle.
- You know, I had a dog once
that got hit by a train.

-Thanks for sharing, Juice.
-Old King Cole, we called him.
He was a merry old soul.

It's him! The boy
with the backpack!

- Go, go, go!
- The sign says
No cars allowed.

- Just drive!
- Quigley!

- You're gonna pay. Are you sure
this is a good idea?
- Just drive!

- Carl, do you think
this is a good idea?
- Shut up! Look out! Whoa!

Yo, man. You don't even
know where you're goin'.
What's goin' on?

- I'm gonna get him and
tear him up! Ooh, yeah!
- We're gonna tear him up!

- Reach over there and get him!
- Your butt is mine, kid!

I'm gonna whup
this little punk!

- I own you! I own you, kid!
- Get him!

- Come here! He's got my money!
- He's gotta be-- Oh, damn!

Believe me, he's got it!

We got to follow him
on foot. Go, go!

What do you mean, follow
him on foot? What do I
look like, a bloodhound?

- A professional tracker
or something?
- Juicy, listen to me.

If we don't get that kid,
nobody gets paid.

-Come on, go! Not a problem.
-I want cash benefits,
dental, everything.

- I don't think
this is a good idea.
- I want everything.

- I really-- I really-- -
Insurance. Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.Oh, there you go.
Come here, boy.

Gonna get you now.
Hey, I been looking for you!

Huh? Oh, no.

There he goes. Yeah.

Come here, boy. I'm gonna
get you now! Yo! Yow!

I don't believe this! I'm gonna
kill that kid when I find him.
I'm not getting paid for this!

- Where we going now? I got--
My hands are over my eyes.
- Shut up!

Come over here!
Get off that bike!

There he is.
Stick with it. I gotcha!

I'll get you!

Hang on, damn it,
hang on.

- Okay, there he is!
- Come here, come here.

- Juice, run after him!
- You must be crazy!
You run after him.

- I just ran through this
whole entire park!
- Fine, get in the car.

- Do not blow chunks in my car.
I just had it detailed.
- I'm cool.

- Are you sure? Are you sure?
- I'm cool. I'm cool, man.

- I'm not gonna mess up
your priceless detail.
- You better not. Keep going.

Hey !

Wow, what's this?

Yo, let's go! After him,
right now! Get him!

Hey, kid!
Move outta the way!

- Sorry!
- Move outta the way!

After that kid!

Want him right now.
You get him!

- Kid! Your butt is mine!
- Pull up with the car.

I want this kid.
What-- What are you doing?

What are you doing? No!
Carl, watch out, watch out!

Oh! No!

- Oh, man.
- No!


Now that's a display
of fine driving right there.

You know, Carl, it might
be easier just to steal
another million dollars.

Hello, Mr. Jackson.

Well, well, well, if it
isn't the world's youngest
personal injury attorney.

You know, you're in a lot
of trouble today, little man.

Yeah, 'cause today I have
been drinking vodka.

- Take a hike, butt-brain.
- What?

-Who you telling to take a--
-Never mind, never mind,
never mind, never mind.

Hey, Antoine, get that truck
thing off the stage. Thank you!

Get those golden gloves
off! Thank you.

Love, love, love, love!
What do you think?

Ta-da! Is this to die
or what?

Uh, yeah, sure.
It's, uh, to die.

I can't wait to show it
to Mr. Macintosh.

- Come on, honey. Let's see what
they did with that ice sculp--
- Is this to die for or what?

Where did you find her?

Oh, man.
What does this cost?

I don't know. What do you
think it should cost?

Lots. Lots.

Kid, why don't you just
tell me what I need to know.

- I'm a good guy.
- Okay.

How good you gonna be to me?
In round numbers.

I don't think you get
the picture, sonny.

Maybe you need
a better view.

Preston Waters, 1508 Oak Street,
Hillsdale, Indiana!

Thank you.

All right?

- Is something wrong?
- No, not at all.

Is Mr. Macintosh around?

- Ah, no.
- But he will be here tonight.

- Yeah.
- In person.

- In person.
- Okay. I'll see you tonight?

- Okay.
- Okay. You're looking good.


I'll be calling.

What a babe.

Baby brother
comes into his own.

For a little weasel, he sure
knows how to get a girlfriend.

- Ah, too bad he picked
a fortune hunter.
- Little love pilot,

shot down in flames
by a gold digger.

By a what?

Gold digger, someone
who is only after money.

I know women.
And that one's after
Macintosh's cold, hard cash.

Well, for your information,
me and Shay already went
on a date and, uh,

shared one fantastic
time, boys.

Oh, yes. Every second
she was getting closer...

- and closer to Mr. Macintosh.
- Shut up!

Just answer me this.
Did she ever, ever just once
come by without saying,

Meanwhile, I wonder
if I can see Mr. Macintosh?

- She's a gold digger, man. She
just wants Macintosh's money.
- Yeah.

- Don't rub it. Be a man.
- Yeah, don't rub it.

- She wants a guy with money,
not some little kid...
- Yeah.

with an empty piggy bank.

Well, I'll wait by the
windows I'll wait by the door

To make sure you don't come home

You ever know
any gold diggers?

Man, have I. I hate 'em.
They're the worst.

The way I look at it, you know,
anybody who's your friend...

because you have money
is not your friend at all.

That's it. You know what
they say about gold.

He who has the gold
makes the rules?

No, no, no, no, no, no.
A fool and his gold
are soon parted.

- What does that mean?
- A fool and his gold
are soon parted?

Those old sayings, man.

I don't get 'em. I don't even
know really what that means.

You ever heard that more than
one way to skin a cat?

Have you heard that one?
Who skins cats?
Why would you skin a cat?

And there is not more than one
way to skin a cat. There is
only one way to skin a cat.

You grab the cat; you rip
the skin off the cat.
What is the number two way?

Think about it. Wh-What, do you
put a hose up the cat's butt?

He gets so bloated that he
skins himself? What does he--
What does he have...

a little piece of velcro
under his butt there; we just,
like, un-velcro him? No.

Kill two birds with one stone.
You heard that one? Whew.

Do you know anyone who has even
killed one bird with one stone?

Kids try it all the time. You
can't hit a bird with a stone.

Unless you got a big huge
stone and they're little,
tiny baby birds. Then--

Beep, beep.


Huh, A fool and his gold
are soon parted.

I guess it means that
if you're a fool,

your gold or your money
is soon gone.

And once it's gone, it is
outta there; it is history.

It is dust. It is vapor.
It is no more. You are
living in Brokesville.

- Unless you have Macintosh's
kind of money, and then--
- What if you don't?

Well, I guess then you find out
who your real friends are.

Man, we look good.

Is everybody having
a good time?

- Good. You are.
- Yes, well, we are, darling.

Wow, look at the balloons!
This is great!

- Look at the ice sculpture
over here!
- Presents!

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
kid, no touching.
These are Mr. Macintosh's.

Well, go find your parents.
Go on. Get outta here.

Go on!

- I just want to see
this Macintosh.
- I just want to pig out.

Hey, look at this.

Excuse me.

- Sorry.
- Exactly, uh, who are you
looking for there, Preston?

- Have you seen Shay?
- Gosh, no, I haven't seen her,
but she'll be around.

She'll be here somewhere.
Come on. Let's have--
Oh, man, look at all this food!

If Macintosh doesn't show,
we bring the kid in, agreed?

If Preston says Macintosh
is gonna be there,
Macintosh will be there.

But you don't make a move
until I give you the signal.

- Understood?
- We got eight men ready
to go in there...

and nail him the second
he shows up.

We close this deal tonight!

Where's the pizza and the ice
cream? Wh-What's goin' on here?

This could've been a pizza
before it got run over by a
couple of trucks. Could've been.

Oh, oh, that looks tasty.

Looks like something you'd find
between your toes, doesn't it?

It-- It's suckin' the life
out of me! It's suckin'
the life out of me!

- Shut up! Everybody's
looking at you.
- So what? Who cares?

Come on. Relax. Have
a good time. She'll show up.

Oh, there's Shay now! Hah,
just kiddin'. I was kiddin' ya.

Would you just relax?
She'll be here.

Man. It's not at all what
you thought it would be
like, eh, being rich, huh?

Preston? Preston?

Ah, ice cream,
ice cream.

Yoo-hoo, Preston.
Now where is our mystery man?

It's time for Mr. Macintosh
to make his appearance.

You see, I like to give my
employers their bills directly.

That way, if they have any
questions or heart attacks
or somethin'--

- Well, I'll give it to him.
- Fine.

Be quick about it.


Sweetheart, I know this seems
like a whole lot of money to
normal people like me and
you.But to a man like Macintosh,

Now you get up there
and get me my money!

I'll get your money.



- Not a problem.
You can leave it.
- This is fine.

- Have a good night.
- I'll be right back. Thank you.

Transaction: not possible.

Insufficient funds.

Current balance: $332.17.

- Three-hundred dollars! -
Transaction: not possible.

- Insufficient
funds.Transaction: not
possible.- Oh, no.

- No, please, God. -
Insufficient funds.

This can't be right.

One, two,

three, four--

It's gone.
It's all gone.

Mr. Macintosh?
Oh, sorry to bother you.

It's Fred Waters,
Preston's dad.

I know you got a bash going on
here, so I'll make it brief.

But, uh--

I wanted to ask you
a-a favor.

You see, today is Preston's
birthday and if you see him,

if you could send him home
a little early--

You know, lately he's
been working so hard.

All of a sudden, money's
become so important to him.

I guess that's mostly
my fault.

You don't have kids, do you,
Mr. Macintosh? Well, I tell you,

it's very easy to make mistakes
with them.

I haven't always paid enough
attention to my kids.

I pushed them too hard,
you know, maybe.

Especially Preston.

I guess I, uh, expect
more from him.

He reminds me of myself at that
age. I couldn't wait to grow up.

I'm afraid he's missing
out on his childhood.

So am I.

Well, uh, thanks. I won't
take up any more of your time.

And we appreciate you
sending Preston home early.

Well, if he, if he wants
to come, that is.

- Yeah, I want to come home.
- Thanks.

Dad. Dad?


Dad! Dad!


Dad, wait!


Henry! Henry!
Wait a minute. Where's Henry?

Your driver? He left
a little while ago.

He-- He left?
Are you sure it was Henry?

Big guy, white limo.

He's gone.


Now I know
who my friends are.

Excuse me. Sorry.


Mr. Macintosh?

- Mr. Macintosh?
- It's just me.

-Which one of us did you want?
-I was looking for you, Preston.

- Oh, good.
- And Mr. Macintosh.

Look, it's very, very
important that I find
Mr. Macintosh right now.

Do you understand?

He's no wheres. He's gone. And
I think you better leave too.

- Preston, you could
be in danger.
- Just go, okay?

Get your necklace and
just take it and leave.

Give it back There's
no time to lose

So give it back Give it back

Riggs? Riggs?

- Looks like no one's home.
- Shut up, Wienerman.
- Biderman.

- Where is he?
- I don't know, but he might
be down the street...

at Mr. Macintosh's;
that's his boss.

Macintosh. Come on!

You know, I do like what they
have done with this color.


There you are,

- Did you get me my money?
- Uh, Macintosh has disappeared.

What? Now, I am warning you, Tom
Thumb. Don't you trifle with me.

If I don't get paid,
I will sue Mr. Macintosh
for every dime he is worth!

Well, be sure and tell me
when you find him.

Okay, little Mr. Man,
this party is over!

Quiet! Stop that playing!
Stop that music! Quiet!

Attention! Attention! Attention!
Everybody, this party is over!

Our host can't pay
his bills.

Mr. Macintosh is a fraud!

She's right.

I hate to tell you this, but
there's been a terrible mistake,

and nobody sh-should've
been invited.

Macintosh is-- is gone.

And he's not coming back.

So I think you should
all leave too. So, go.

- Go on.
- Close down the bar!

Come on. Let's get out of here!
Come on, Antoine. Move it!

Come on. Move it!
Move it!

Come back here with those
glasses! Y'all forcin' me--
Give me that! You--


I knew you'd come back.


Happy birthday. I'm here
to blow out your candles.

- What's your hurry, kid?
You got a big check to cash?
- Yeah.


- Let me go!
- I like this pad.
What do you think, Juice?

Oh, yeah. I like the pad.
It looks real nice.

- Can you handle it? Got the TV.
- Oh, I like this. TV.

- Drums. All kind of toys.
- Drums.

You got a little taste,
little flavor.

- What's this thing here?
- I don't know.

I don't think I've seen
one of those before.

- Preston, how do you work this?
- Well, you turn the knob.

You know, you really shouldn't
let him in such a nice house
as this. I mean,

all your stuff
could get broken.

Kid, where's Macintosh?


He's nowhere. I'm gonna
ask you one more time.

Where is he?

- Huh?
- Th-There is no Macintosh.

I made him up.
I-It was me the whole time.

Don't give me that.
Who bought this house?

I-I did.

You? You outbid me?

Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
You tryin' to tell me...

that this little bitty boy
right here...

outbid you with
your own money?

Be a fly on the wall,
okay, Juice?

Listen, kid. You know it's
illegal to take things
that don't belong to you.

I know. I feel awful.
Take me to the police.

Carl, don't do it.
It's a trick.

Get out of here.

Son, I don't want
to take you to the police.

Just tell me, okay?
Where's my money?

I-- I spent it.

- All of it?
- All of it.

How could you spend
a million dollars...

in six days?

You must not have been
shoppin' lately.

Carl, Carl,
wait a minute.

Maybe we're thinking about
this Macintosh thing
in the wrong way.

- What are you talking about?
- Well, you needed a new house,
a new identity.

Well, this kid--
He's done it for you.

I mean, Macintosh
could run for mayor here.

Yeah, I kinda like
the idea of that.

- Uh, Mayor Quigley. Yeah.
- No, no.

Mayor Macintosh.
I like it.

Look, there's only
one problem with that. There--

- Hey!
- Get back here!

- Wait for me! Wait for me!
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!
- Get upstairs, man.

Get in there. Break it down!
Break it down! Come on!

There he is!

- Where is he? Where is he?
- He went down there.

- Juice, go after him. Go on!
- I ain't goin' down there.

- You're crazy, man.
I ain't goin' down there.
- Come on. Watch your head.

- What is it, about 230-- Whoa!
- It's okay.

- Let's go.
- I'm not goin'--
I'm not goin' in there.

- Oh, no, he didn't!
- Did you see him?

- Oh, no, you did just push me
in the pool like that!
- Get out of there!

- Come on. We gotta find him.
- Boy, you must be crazy.

What happened?

Biderman, act like you got
a purpose in life. Go!

I think I'm experiencing
chest pains. Oh!

Carl! Juice!

Little boy?
Little boy from the bank?

Oh, my god!

Where am I?

I hate this!



Got it.

Time for a little
batting practice.

Here we go!

Hey. What's happenin', yo?
Hey, ho, hey!

- Just outside. Let's try
a sinker, a sinker!
- Hey, kid!

Another, another!
Let's try a screwball!

- Turn, turn, turn!
- Just be cool. Oh, okay,
you're gonna throw-- Ow!

Hey! Ho! Whup your little--
Come on, boy!

- Screwball! Boom!
- Oh!

Ooh, that must have hurt!

My god!

Fastball, fastball,
just inside!


What's next, Juice?
How about a game of tennis?

It's over, kid. Ow! Ow!

Preston. Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

None of this would've
happened, you know,

if you hadn't been a bad boy!

Tell me somethin'. D'you think
you were gonna get away with it?

Spendin' somebody else's
hard-earned money? Huh?

We need to have a chat.


I'm not mad anymore.
I know you're sorry.

Come on, buddy.


Come on out now!


Quigley, I'll be back
in a minute.

Don't leave me! Aah,
where am I goin'? Whoa!

- Kid!
- Don't you move.

You! Biderman! Get your
useless butt over here!

Oh, oh, oh, kid! Kid, what
are you-- What are you doin'?

Kid, kid, kid! Stop, stop!
Please, please, stop!

Kid, please.
Don't do that! Oh!

Are you okay?

I got you now!
Come get him!

I got him now.
Get him, you guys!

- All right, hold him.
- I got a baseball for you.
- You're not a very nice boy.

Freeze !

Preston, are you okay?

What's this all about?
What's happenin' here?

Miss Stanley, what
are you doing here?

- Let go!
- As of this moment,
you're fired from my bank!

FBI, Biderman. From this moment,
you're fired from your bank.

- What?
- You're with the FBI?

- Yes, Preston, I am.
- Okay, kid, finally,
at long last, who's Macintosh?

Um, uh,

u-uh, uh,

- um, I--
- I'm Macintosh.

- You're Macintosh?
- I'm Macintosh, and I want you
all off my property now!

- He's Macintosh.
- You're sure?

I tell you I'm Macintosh! Please
tell these guys I'm Macintosh.

- Oh, he's Macintosh. Don't
you know Papa Macintosh?
- Mr. Macintosh.
- He's Macintosh.

And Big Mama Macintosh
be hangin' out with
the brothers, you know?

Okay then, Mr. Macintosh, you're
under arrest for fraud, money
laundering and grand theft.

- What are you talking about?
What's this all-- Ow!
- Bring in Biderman too.

- I'm a banker.
- And take Mr. Wise Guy too.

- Who? Me?
- Get your hands off me.

- I'm not wise, man.
I flunked recess!
- Take it easy, man. Come on!

- Take it easy!
- I'm a banker!
You can't do this!

- I'm not even from here, man.
I was rollin' down the street.
- I'm a banker.

- Cat said,
Hey, there's a party.
- I own-- I own a bank!

Sir, stay behind the line there.
Everyone, just calm down. Okay?

Honey, I'm gonna check this out,
make sure that Preston's okay.

You take the boys home?

- What's, uh, what's
going on here?
- I don't know.

Something to do
with Mr. Macintosh.
The FBI's all over the place.

- Uh, have you seen,
have you seen a little boy?
- He's inside with the FBI.

- Excuse me, excuse me,
please. Officer--
- Whoa, whoa !

- Nobody gets in there
without a badge.
- I-I-I'm looking for my son.

- Kinda neat.
Can I see your badge?
- Shay Stanley, FBI.


Wait a minute.
So that means our date...

was just for your--
just for your job?

Well, it started out
like that.

-I should've known.
-Hey, you know, I wouldn't have
traded that night for anything.

So, when can
I see you again, Shay?

Hmm. Why don't you give me
a call in, say, about ten years.

- Five.
- Seven.
- Six.

Okay. It's a date.

Good night, Preston.


Preston? Oh, my god,
he's in shock.

Oh, I'm fine, Dad.
I'm fine now.

Oh, I'm glad to see you.

- Well, what's going on here?
- Oh, it's a long story.

- Well, why don't we go on home
and you tell me all about it.
- Okay.

I want to say good-bye
to a friend, okay, Dad?

Well, this is just great.
I can't step out
for a couple seconds.

I miss all the action. Thanks.

Are you okay?

- I thought you left, man.
- No, I didn't leave.

What did we say the party
needed? Ice cream, right?
I just went to get ice cream.

I don't know if I got
the exact recipe,
but I think I got it close.

- So?
- Hey, it's, uh, pretty close.

Well, I guess, uh,
Macintosh is no more, huh?

It's too bad because, uh,

I really enjoyed, uh,
workin' for him.

I had a good time too.

Do me a favor?

Next time you see him,
t-tell him, uh,

that I-I'm really
gonna miss him.

I'll miss you too, Henry.

You're gonna do just fine.

See ya.

- Hey, Henry.
- Huh?

- Know what you have?
- What?

- S-T-Y-L-E. Style.
- Style.

Hey, Preston! You're not
gonna finish this ice cream,
I guess, huh?

Well, no sense lettin'
this go to waste.

So, uh, what happened?

Oh, well, uh--

Macintosh wasn't-- He--

- He wasn't who
he thought he was.
- How do you mean?

He shouldn't have done what
he did. I mean, he shouldn't
have fooled everybody.

I think you're right.

It's been a long night.
Better get on up to bed.

Yeah, I think you oughta
get some sleep too, Dad.

And tomorrow, I'll tell you
all about Mr. Macintosh.

- Sleep well, Preston.
- Ta-da!

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear Preston

Happy birthday to you

Make a wish.

You know what they say.

Be careful what you wish for.

What else do I want?
I mean, I got everything...

that I need right here.

On the other hand.

I'll wait just a
little more time

Just a little more time

To move in a new direction

I'll wait just a
little more time

'Til you make up your mind

You know that you're
needin' me too, yeah

Why now are
you feelin' so scared

And unwilling to be there

When someone's there for you

Why time has to be so unkind

For no reason but
love has no measure

This is true

Oh, well, I know
what I feel inside

I trust in love and
what my heart tells me

Haven't I been
good the way I should

I'm willing, I'm able I
need you to give me a sign

Now I'll wait just
a little more time

- Just a little more
time - Just a little more

To move in a new direction

I'll wait just a
little more time

'Til you make up your mind

I know what you're
feelin' is true

- I'll wait - I'll wait

- Yes, I'll wait - I'll wait

Just a little more time, baby

New directions

I'll wait just a
little more time

'Til you make up your mind

I know that you're
feeling it too


Yeah, haven't I been good to you

The way I said I would be

Why are you leavin' me now

Well, I know what I feel inside

I trust in love and what my
heart's been telling me

Haven't I been
good the way I should

I'm willing, I'm able I
need you to give me a sign

I'll wait just a
little more time

- Just a little more
time - Just a little more

To move in a new direction

I'll wait just a
little more time

'Til you make up your mind

I know that you're
needing me too

- I'll wait - I'll wait

- Yes, I'll wait - I'll wait

- I'll wait - I'll wait

- Yes, I'll wait - I'll wait

I'll wait just a
little more time