Bis (2015) - full transcript
Two friends, who are not very satisfied with their current lives, go back accidentally to the 1980s to fix their professional and sentimental future.
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Give me those glasses.
- Not while I'm driving.
There, that should do it.
- Here.
Stop it, I'm driving.
- You used to love my English.
Does it remind you of something?
- First kiss in La Main Jaune.
We just danced there.
First kiss was in your parents' second home.
Your graduation party.
Don't you remember?
They could have come.
- It's not practical for those old folks.
When you're going in and out all the time.
They have it good there.
They have...
Well, couches...
It's alright there.
Damn, speed camera. Shit.
Goddamnit.
Mind the little one.
- She's just playing.
She won't hear.
Get fucked. Damnit. Sheesh.
Ouagadougou. Nice name.
What did she buy in Ouagadougou?
It's in Burkina Faso.
Not much there except malaria.
Do you trust Chloé with him for a month?
- Yes. Right?
I can see the drama.
Look, he's not even eating his ragout.
Put it in a box, we'll take it to
Ouagadougou together.
Girls, this is where my friend forst
frenched your mother.
A song by The Korgis.
I forgot the drummer's name.
At a graduation thing.
For those that graduated.
Chloé, a thing is.... well, a party.
Just without alcohol, drugs
and no One Direction.
That was in 1986.
- Year of my birth.
Wow, you're young.
Do you know, Patricia...
- My name is Sabrina.
Oh yes. I should have kissed your guy.
You were good with guys.
No, I just got by.
Don't listen.
If I remember correctly,
Loïc Galland really liked you.
Who's that, Loïc Galland?
- My boyfriend, before I dated your father.
A real hunk. Although he did blow.
Did you blow, mom?
Swag.
That's right.
Sure, let her roll some joints..
Knock it off, don't be such a wuss.
Your dad dumped him for me.
With a note, remember?
We didn't have text messages back then.
Did you ever dump someone via text message?
- No, that's not my style.
Galland? Let's check Facebook.
Get rid of that thing.
Enough nastalgia for one day.
Don't hurry.
- You're staying here, and give me that tablet.
I'm not taking your bottle of wine, am I?
I was born on the stairs.
Why are you saying that?
- I thought you were reminiscing?
Never did a delivery ina stairwell?
- Funny enough, no.
I'd prefer a hospital.
Then again, I'm difficult.
Hold on girls,
I'll get it loose.
You're tiresome.
You've been moping all night.
Look around. Aren't you happy?
- Do you know what my life looks like?
Work, wife, kid, parents...
Mine's not much better.
- Everything's going too quickly.
I'm not enjoying life.
- First world problems.
You don't get it. Me and Caro are done.
She doesn't like me anymore.
And I don't like her Doctors-Without-Borders
side. It's like fucking Kouchner.
I'm only staying for Chloé.
- You don't see her that often.
Well, thanks.
It's nice talking to you.
I don't get it.
You have the perfect wife.
I can't see anything better
than my mother and my ex.
I wouldn't mind having your life.
- With a 12-year-old brat?
If it's yours, no problem.
She's raised properly...
You ahd a kid?
- All I need is find the mother.
You've already found Ms Right.
But me, at my age...
I haven't found Ms Right.
- You did, Anne.
You just didn't manage to hold on to her.
And as a consolation...
Sabrina.
The one. Shit.
And Lola, Karen, Ashley, Dominique...
They were pretty good.
I'm leaving, Patrice.
- You've had too much booze.
You're sleeping here.
- No, I'm too busy.
Problems?
- I haven't paid any taxes in five years.
I need to go or I'm going to jail.
How much do you need?
Too much.
Where will you go?
- Far away. Thailand.
I've saved a little,
I wanna start something there.
A Grill-restaurant.
Delicious grilled chicken.
- When are you going?
Monday morning.
- Then you can stay here for now.
We'll talk about it in the morning.
For now, a nice '86...
to go with your grilled chicken.
- '86? I'm with you.
2006 will do for me too.
To Thailand for grilled chicken.
Idiot.
Your mother will never let you go.
- Voyage, voyage...
Sht, you'll wake everyone.
Would you do Desireless?
- No.
Weird that you call yourself Desire,
with a face like that...
Desireless
it means 'not in the mood'.
English was never your best.
What about Harlem Désir?
- Désir is just his name.
I'd rather fuck Harlem Désir
than Desireless.
You're crazy.
Did you ever do it with a guy?
Oh, nice back.
You smell great.
- Knock it off, we'll fall.
The dark is scary.
Is that you?
Shit, damnit.
- Wait, I'll get the light.
This is the 9 o'clock news.
What the hell is that?
Hi, honey.
Wow, we really got plastered last night.
Dad? Damnit.
My god, dad?
- Patrice, two swears is too much.
Morning, love.
Damnit, mom.
- Patrice...
You made it late with Éric?
You look odd.
He looks weird, right?
That wine sure gets to you.
Morning. Éric.
- Good morning.
I...
I'm going... I'm going to...
I'll be right back.
I'm... I'm going to get changed.
They were out drinking again.
What's the matter?
- Beats me, back to their youth I guess.
Is that normal to you?
- No.
Why am I naked?
- So was I. What happened yesterday?
Did we drink too much?
- We were drunk and in the wine cellar.
Honestly, something's not right.
Damnit.
Damnit.
What is this?
- What is the meaning of this?
Is there a hidden camera somewhere?
I don't see any wires.
Jesus.
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
Oh, that was good.
It's been way too long.
Pinch me.
Again.
That's enough.
Smack me.
Hit me or we'll never know
if that is us.
Are you insane?
- Sorry.
Damn, that's really us.
- Only younger. Like my parents.
Do people see us like this?
- I think so.
You're a doctor, you should know.
- I'm a gynecologist.
How should I know why
I have hair and you're naked?
No, this can't be. It's in our mind.
We just had too much to drink.
I don't feel so good.
- Want me to smack you?
No, I'm fine.
Damnit.
I only have panties, no boxers.
What do we do now?
- I don't know.
We're in deep shit.
- Guys, breakfast's ready.
I have a book signing on Monday
in Strassbourg. I can't go like this.
How do we get old again?
I don't know.
We're really in trouble.
Are you guys coming?
And you - get some pants on.
And? Not too nervous
about the big day?
I remember the day I got
my test scores.
Dad, is Mitterrand dead or alive?
Were you drinking last night?
- No.
Honestly, dad.
- I could cancel your party, you know.
Got it?
- Yes, dad.
Know what, if you graduate cum laude,
we'll go see Jean de Florette.
Are you coming, Éric?
- I've already seen it.
You've been drinking.
They were drinking.
You win, guys.
I'm staying for your graduation party.
This is not a booze free-for-all
and it's not going to be either.
Come on, let's go pack.
That much for a single weekend?
We have to get back.
- I wanna g to my parents tonight.
I wanna see my dad.
You get it, right?
Be back tomorrow.
- Come on guys, let's go.
We have two options: we're either in 1986
or we're in Valenciennes.
Look at you.
You're beautiful, mom.
I guess you have some questions.
Arlette, when you're done with your son,
clear up table 6 will you.
You're handsome, dad.
What's his problem?
- He's still mad.
Why?
When he picked you up from school.
- What did I do?
You ran away when he
came up in the van.
He said you were embarrassed.
Now he's not talking to you.
Is that why we haven't spoken?
- For two days.
Arlette, table 6. Second time.
Patrice, wake up.
Hurry up, the wife's waiting.
You have to take Chloé
to her dancing lesson.
Lame.
How did we get here?
- Basement stairs.
Where did you get that?
- I'm thinking.
I've seen Les Visiteurs 1 and 2.
To get back, we have to
backtrace our steps.
Back to the wine cellar.
It's called the passage.
- You've just seen two movies.
So what? We have to get back?
- Your idea will never work.
It will.
- Let's get back now.
No, first get through the day.
Let's do it tonight.
Are you busy tonight? Right.
Let's look at the numbers.
- We know the numbers.
Isn't this funny?
Caro is here too.
Alright then.
What are you doing?
- My hair.
Why do we need our grades?
- We're doing the same as we were in 1986.
What's the point?
- Would you look at that ass?
You have 25 years on her.
- It's 1986, this is a holiday trip.
Ah yes, the Dutch girl on the camping trip.
- She won't go for the lifeguard.
Look how happy he is.
- Who is he again?
Michel Huon. 'Very well.'
He works for Picard and his wife
looks like an American fridge.
How do you know?
- He eats in the restaurant a lot.
There, Isabelle Ramos. She failed the exams.
She'll go to India and become a yoga instructor.
She married that guy.
- How do you know that?
She told me when I was
fucking her last month..
Look, Hervé Roland.
We did pre med together.
He dropped out. Now he's a doctor
in the Fresnes jail.
Look, she's cute.
- Yes, she's real hot.
That's my wife.
You weren't seeing each other yet.
- I was afraid to talk to her.
Hello, Caro.
Hello.
I'm gonne check my grades.
- You passed.
Result: good.
- Cool.
My parents will be happy. How about you?
- Passed.
Make-up test.
- How are you, sugar?
That's Loïc Galland, the good looking one.
- How so? He's no Cary Grant.
Cary Grant?
- To each his own.
Tablet, Cary Grant...
- Let's go for a drink.
Are you guys coming?
- Sure.
You're not jealous?
- No, she dumped him.
We shouldn't interfere
with past, remember?
In a few days, La Main Jaune
and in a week, the first kiss.
And in 25 years, you'll have enough.
Remember?
What can I get you young folks?
- A Bourgogne, please.
You're kidding, right.
You're 17. You'll get a coffee.
He whats-his-name. Did you pass?
- Yes.
Great. Delebration dinner?
Can you go to a restaurant?
Where are you goijg for the holidays?
- La Boule, same as always.
Is your country-side party
still on, Patrice?
Party?
- Graduation thing.
The Korgis, remember.
- Ah yes, the party. I forgot.
Of course it's still on.
We'll make out there.
I felt so bad that I almost failed.
I couldn't believe it.
- What's he talking about?
I haven't got a clue.
It's terrible.
- What are you talking about?
Téléphone breaking up of course.
Are you guys on drugs?
I've seen enough, let's go.
- Let's go.
Patrice, hang on. A game.
- No.
Okay, I'm going.
- Did you go to college?
I did. Where's dad?
- Upstairs, watching TV.
You're gonna pass the make-up test, right?
- You need to watch out.
For what?
- Dad. Take good care of him.
Éric...
Are you doing drugs?
...Jacques Chirac decided to
go ahead at a faster pace..
Bye dad, I'm going.
I'm sorry about the van-thing.
I apologize.
Also...
Don't worry. I'll get there
without a degree.
Because of that he never spoke to me again.
It's a killer, right?
- Sushi on a Smart is better.
That's for work.
- Right, I'll put ovaries on my SUV.
Why not?
Stop it.
- Pee at home, we're almost there.
I wanna talk to you.
Why won't you go back?
- Don't our lives suck?
Was it any better in 1986?
We can do everything again and better.
I don't follow.
You don't wanna go back?
You promised.
I have a daughter. A job.
Is it your dad?
- And other stuff.
But not on my own.
Now I can still pass.
Go to college.
I can settle down,
have a life like you.
And where does that get me?
- Everywhere.
Didn't you have enough of that
mundane, monogamous life?
Didn't you say so?
- I did...
Then take my life.
Adventure, freedom.
I don't know if
I want your crappy life.
You don't? Doesn't it sound great,
without the 300 patients a month...
10 book signings a weel
and two fights with the wife a day?
Didn't you want to relax?
My life is relaxed.
If someone like me is running it...
your life can't be all bad.
You're right, I need to relax.
It's tempting.
Your life could be fantastic.
And my daughter?
- You'll have another.
You already know this. You were bummed out.
Just press the repeat button.
That's it. let's switch.
I'll get your life, you get mine.
Shit, police.
- Leave them to me.
Do your son is under age?
And he does not have a driver's license?
He told me that he does.
- My son is scum.
What were they getting themselves in to?
- It's one thirty.
It's June 24th. They're free.
Sign here and you can take them with you.
Thank you, officer.
I think they learned their lesson.
I don't get it. You graduated.
Your whole future is ahead of you.
And now you wanna go to jail?
- I only borrowed your BX.
We just wanted to have some fun.
I'm sorry, dad.
So you do remember me?
Not too embarrassed that I'm picking you up?
You're grounded.
- Why?
Good luck.
- You too.
If I were you I'd
go and get that diploma. Move it..
A Tourtel.
The taste, the hop, the foam...
With Tourtel you will enjoy your beer
alcohol free.
Hello Mr Olesky. It's Éric,
can I speak to Patrice?
It's late, what do you want?
- Sorry, it's about the make-up test.
Alright, hang on.
It's Éric.
Keep it short.
Hi, Éric. What is it?
- I have a great idee.
I want to become a doctor.
- Yeah, right.
Hold on.
Are you still there?
Alright, I'll see you
in the cafe tomorrow.
Alright, until tomorrow.
Put it back?
Paul, a Tourtel.
I've always wanted to do that.
- Listen.
Like I said, I've been thinking.
- Never as much as in '86, right?
The '80 inspired me.
- So 10 years of med school.
Why not?
I'll graduate.
I blew the oral exam.
A detail like that changes your life.
And my English is a lot better now.
- Since when?
Since...
Since I have...
American customers in the restaurant.
- At the restaurant.
After that, med school,
and I'll be a doctor.
That makes sense.
- I'm as good as this as you.
Sorry sir, it was a joke.
I'd seen the commercial.
Too bad. That's 4 francs.
Alright, I'll drink it.
Here, keep the change.
Where did you get that money?
- I can take care of myself.
Stolen from your dad?
- I have a reputation to keep.
My mom.
- Fine.
I don't want any foam.
- You're not getting it this way. I'm out.
Hang on.
Wait, Patrice.
What did you say?
I get it, we're screen writers.
We tell them the story of a big movie
and they buy the rights.
Can I help you?
- We're here to see Claude Berri.
We want to propose a,
actually, a few scenatios.
Do you have an appointment?
- No.
It will be hard then.
How old are you?
Since when do ideas come with an age limit?
- We just wanna speak to someone.
I'm sorry, you need an appointment.
What are you doing?
- The intro.
I apologize for disturbing you
and your daughter, Mr Barclay.
This is my wife.
First idea: guy works for the mail service,
down south.
He pretends to be an invalid
to get a better job.
But he gets found out.
As punishment, he has to
go back north.
Where it's cold.
- Which he doesn't want.
It's always raining up north.
It will be hilarious.
Like, when he drives off,
h hits a 'Welcome to the north' sign...
and boom: pouring rain...
- Right after the sign.
There he sees a guy from the north.
- A real idiot.
And he doesn't understand the guy
because of the accent.
In the north they say 'chi' instead of 'qui'.
And they'll go 'hy'.
In the end, the lead character...
- But also the other guy.
Yes, but it goes...
He's the one from the north
and from the south.
So it's at Ch'tis.
We spot a knight,
wandering around...
A knight and his...
- Beggar, his...
His squire.
Who's very filthy, and nervous.
While the knight's great to see.
The fine knight
is hurled into the present.
Very funny.
The beggar's character, so stressed...
hears the words of today.
like nowadays you often say 'okay'.
As in 'okay, fine'.
Ánd he tries his own way.
Very funny.
It could be titled Les Visiteurs.
Black and white, silent.
With a dog.
- And a paraplegic, completely paralyzed.
He needs help.
He has people audition.
And so he meets this scumbag.
Real scum...
- Right off the street. And black.
You were too high.
Like at your cousin's wedding.
My voice is like a clock.
- You mean it sucks.
Our new lives are off to a great start.
What do we do now?
I have to go over the material again.
Are you tking up English?
- I know what's on the test: Hamlet.
What else?
- I don't know. Don't fret.
Ask Caroline.
- What?
To help you out. She's great at English.
- Not abad idea.
It won't bother you?
- Why would it?
Then go over there now.
- As you wish. it's your life.
Can I call you tonight?
- How?
With the telephone. Your place.
- What time, I don't have all night.
Are you busy tonight?
Then I'll call you at your house.
Yes, but what time?
Know what, I'll come by.
Fine, but what time?
Call me when you know what time
you want me to come by.
What time shall I call
to tell you what time you can come over?
Just before you want me to come over.
Never mind the call.
I'll just come by.
Okay, but what time will you be there?
What a noice.
- France is in the semi finals.
Where to?
- Bains-douches.
We've never been there.
- You haven't. I have.
If you want my life,
start at the beginning. Come.
You look beautiful. And the dress?
- Alaïa.
Have a great evening.
Good evening.
Can we?
- I don't have time for this.
Come on, Maryline.
Malou, Maloche, it's me, Éric.
I've been here a thousand times.
Don't you remember me? From '88 to '95.
Take these two idiots with you.
- Take it easy.
We spent so much money here.
Bouncers were stupid back then.
- We'll go over there.
I'm not done yet.
Hi. Wanna go to with us?
Two guys, two girls.
No way.
- Your loss.
That was close.
- 1986 was not your best year.
Apparantly not.
- This isn't going to work.
What isn't?
- A different life. We're just 17.
I didn't know you were this serious.
- I wanna be a doctor.
Doctor?
- How is that funny?
You don't need to be bald and ugly
to be a doctor.
Thanks.
- You're bot bald. Or a doctor.
Focus.
- Yes dad.
Did you know he wanted to be a doctor?
- He's mentioned it.
Come on, Engels.
I'm not interrupting, am I?
Sorry about that.
- Okay, page 36, line 15.
Can we go on?
- Sorry.
Really, why do you want to be a doctor?
Say it again.
And again.
Who is getting tutored here?
Come on, dad.
- I said no.
One o'clock. It'll be fine?
Midnight...
- The answer is still no.
This place is a jail.
Patrice, can we talk to you please?
Fine, give me that tape recorder.
It's a walkman.
I'm not taking your wine, am I?
What's gotten in to you?
- I wanna go out. Party. See girls.
I'm suffocating here.
- You can forget about that graduation thing.
It's a part, not a graduation thing.
Did this come from Éric?
- I can make up my own mind.
What do you want?
- I don't know.
But no pre med.
I don't wanna be a doctor like you.
I'm not saying you have to be.
I didn't even know you wanted to.
Then I won't be a doctor.
- Then you won't be.
Then I won't be a doctor.
- Then you won't be.
I'm not gonna be a doctor.
- You won't be a doctor.
Where are you going?
- To have some fun.
EAnd I'm sick of this ugly coat.
- I bought that for you.
That makes it worse.
No...
- Come on, we were invited.
They'll still kick us out.
Have it your way. I'm going home
before my parents catch me.
Are you alright, Éric?
- Yes.
Tomorrow I'll see Caroline about tutoring.
- Whatever you say.
Bye bye. I'm a big boy. A cool dude.
Éric, do you have 10 francs?
Here. be the big boiy
but fail your exams.
That has nothing to do with it
I'll take the make-up test.
Patrice wanted to celebrate
his graduation.
Do his parents let him go out?
- No.
So you dragged him along.
- He wanted to screw.
Where are you going?
- The bathroom.
Look how cute you are. Are you scared?
- No, not at all.
You know. I'll get my cigarettes
and walk with you.
Okay.
Do you come here often?
- Relax. You're in good hands.
Relax, Max.
- I am relaxed.
Is this swag?
I mean cool. Awesome.
- What?
It's cool.
- Yes, cool.
Where do you work?
Hi's a bit young, isn't he?
But yes, he's cute.
Bye, sir.
Come with us?
- I'm not sure.
Come on. Three out on the town,
three going home.
It's tempting. But I'd rather
go home on my own. Bye.
Hello, is everything alright?
Can I join you?
- Caro is on her way.
This is from her.
I'll be damned. First Téléphone
breaks up, and now Caro is leaving me.
It's not that bad.
- And why are you giving me this note?
Are you two seeing each other?
- You're bummed. There will be others.
Come on, let's go outside.
- It'll end badly.
Outside.
- Stop it.
Fine, we'll go outside.
This fucking hurts.
He broke my ribs.
Didn't you remember Loïc Galland
was a black belt?
Back then I had a Fumizuki.
Don't you sell Fumizukis
at the restaurant?
Why did you ask her?
- No reason.
What if I was here with someone.
- Did you ask a girl?
Well?
- Will you see her after class?
Loïc got his ass kicked.
What's up with that mushy stuff?
- Jealous?
Why would I be jealous?
Give me those glasses.
- They're for reading and driving.
Good as new.
- Thanks.
Really clean.
- Looks great on you. A real man.
You're a real woman tonight.
- Like what, old?
No. Classy, elegant.
Is it over with Loïc?
- A dreamer like that is not for me.
What are you looking for in a man?
- I'm not looking. I've got time.
It's starting.
- Arlette, come here, darling.
France will not be in the
finals this Saturday.
Orange and water.
Pliers in, water in.
I have to go.
See you tomorrow?
- What for?
Friends in La Main Jaune.
You are coming, right?
La Main Jaune is a bit of a problem.
- Come on.
I'll try.
- Okay, I have to go now..
Will you ask Patrice?
- Yes.
Did Caro leave already?
- Yes, she just left.
But she said hi.
- I'm out too. See you tomorrow?
No...
Not tomorrow.
I have to work on my English.
You're really changing, are you?
Okay, ciao.
Bye, sir.
No, thanks.
You'll be a free spirit,
with no obligations.
Give yourself a new chance.
- Fine, we'll switch lives.
Sorry.
Will you be long, mom?
- I just put it on.
It's urgent.
- So are these orders.
I'm not your servant.
- I'm gone.
Do I need to order panties?
- I'm not wearing those anymore.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Exscuse me, can I?
Thanks.
Hi. Can I get the number
for Caroline Toura?
Mr and Mrs Toura. Avenue de l'Opéra, Paris.
Yes, I'll hold.
How much longer?
- That's not up to me.
I'm in a hurry.
- So is everyone else.
But I'm working.
- Then get to work.
We are not ona first-name basis.
- Yes, madam. No.
No, I don't have a pen.
- Just a fountain pen, I'm not giving that out.
I tried to remember.
Give me a franc.
- I need it myself.
Idiot.
- Stay polite, young man.
This young man has had enough of you.
Here, a mobile phone.
You'll understand later.
Where is Caro?
- Caro? I don't know a Caro, pal.
I'm not your pal, older than you
and not in the mood for this.
Where is Caro?
- Ask your buddy Éric.
Where is Caro?
Where is she?
- At La Main Jaune.
Want the address?
- Shut up.
And don't look so stupid.
Hello.
Thank you.
No, thank you. There's no need.
I'll only be here a few minutes.
Why the face.
- It's werird being alone here with you.
You mean on roller skates?
Relax a little.
You've earned this.
Are you alright?
- I am.
You're so shy.
- You're so young.
You prefer a 25-year-old?
I don't know what I want anymore.
What am I doing?
Are you alright?
- I'm fine.
You go out in the fternoon?
- Yes.
Where's the exit?
- Over there.
Watch it. I'll hold you.
Do you still have that car?
- Yes, why?
You wouldn't understand., Come.
- Wait outside, I'll be right there.
What are we doing out in the country?
Alone in this big house?
You wouldn't believe me.
- I've seen worse.
Everyone has fantasies.
- My friend's fucking my wife.
I want it to be 2014 again
with everything back to normal.
At your age, you shouldn't
be bothered so much.
Stop it. Cut it out.
This is not the right time.
It's always the right time.
Thanks, but I'm going now.
To the cellar.
Sneaky. I like that.
It's not what you think.
You acted strabge at La Main Jaune.
- I'm worried about the make-up test.
You're doing fine.
Anything new from Patrice?
No, he's worried too.
- You guys are weird, you know?
You act like a couple of old guys.
- That's not so far off.
What is it?
- Something in my eye. Have a look.
I have to go now.
Don't look at me like that.
- You started it.
I've seen a lot of perverts,
but never like this.
It's not what you think.
Damnit.
- I'll get undressed for you.
And then I'll hit you.
It's not happing.
Together until the end.
That's David Guetta.. David...
That's David Guetta.
It's David Guetta.
If my daughter hears this...
Hello.
Oh, this is good.
Man this feels good. Keep going.
You drive me crazy.
- Stop talking.
Okay, I'll stop talking.
I'm crazy. I'm sick.
I'm coming.
No, I can't.
I'll help you.
- Stop it.
Don't you want mr?
- That's not it. I can't.
I'm married. I have a daughter.
I love my wife.
You're 17 and married.
I'm not stupid.
You wouldn't understand.
- Oh. Guess I'm too stupid.
Sayonara, stupid bastard.
Listen. I don't know what you're doing
but get your hands off my wife..
I know what you want. Let's end this
and go back to our own lives.
I want my life back.
I love my wife and daughter.
We're ending this,
You keep your life and I'll keep mine.
Got it?
- Patrice?
Did you see the fire department?
- No.
My wife's in labor.
Hello madam.
- Who are you?
Easy. I may look young
but I'm a gynecologist.
Who is Bernard?
- My husband.
I've seen him,
He's waiting for the fire department.
Did your water break?
- Yes.
Are you primoparturient?
- What?
Is this your first?
- Yes.
Do you have any towels or blankets?
- In the closet.
Here?
- Yes.
Who are you?
- I appear young but I'm a gynecologist.
Easy.
Move forward on the bed.
A bit more.
Easy, you'll be fine.
Deep breaths.
Everything will be fine.
The fire department isn't coming.
What are you doing?
Get out or I will call the police.
- I may look young but I'm a gynecologist.
Everything will be fine.
Get out, you idiot.
Her water broke.
She's having the baby here.
Don't touch my wife.
- He's a gynecologist. Let him.
Or I'll die.
- What's he doing?
I'm measuring the dilation.
- Do you have to?
Shut up, Bernard.
Go on, ma'am. Are you alright, sir.
Grab a chair.
Then we'll do it on the floor.
Listen, madam,
Breathe in. Hold your breath,
And push, right?
Hold, and push.
She's so small.
- You're lucky, it's a girl.
Thank you.
- Thank you, doctor.
No thanks. It's my job.
What's her name?
Sabrina.
- That's a nice name.
Where were you?
- We ran into a moped.
If it hadn't been for this guy
my wife would've had the baby on the staircase.
Before we had a truck...
- Not so loud.
Dad?
- What is it?
Are you hurt?
- No.
I just want to say something.
- In the middle of the night?
It's very important.
I don't want to be a doctor.
- Not this again.
Do whatever you want, Patrice.
- I'm serious. I don't want to be a doctor.
I'm gonna be a gynecologist.
- That's fine.
Very fine.
Is that all you had to say?
- Yes, Goodnight, dad.
Love you.
Goodnight.
What was that?
- Patrice wants to be a gynecologist.
Pervert.
What do you want?
- Who is Zidane?
What was that, Zinedine?
- He insulted my mother.
My name is Éric Drigeard. I know that...
I know this is weird...
but I am older than you think.
I'm over forty..
About your future.
You need to keep going.
I don't care about my future.
I'm tired of soccer.
I want to play tennis.
- Don't.
No, French and tennis...
You're cut out for soccer.
What do you want. Are you a scout?
- Listen, Zizou.
You're going to win \
that world cup for is, alright?
My name isn't Zizou.
I am not a bird.
What are you doing?
- I'm talking to Zizou, the maestro.
I am thanking him for all he will do
for france and for my father.
And that hair.
Never mind, it'll go on its own.
There's the runaway.
- Can we speak for a moment?
Yes, take a chair.
- No, in private.
Are you nervous?
- What I want to say isn't easy.
Before you do anything stupid,
I just want you to know...
No, I'll start at the end.
I love you.
- Just like that.
You love me?
- Yes, really.
I have been thinking.
You are very special, Caro.
You are... I know you'll be
a fantastic doctor.
A great mother
and a perfect wife.
I was horrible, but you were right.
Je need to care for others.
I'll be around more.
I don't want to miss anything that we've built.
Anything we can build.
I don't want to miss you.
What you're saying is very nice,
even though I don't understand it.
It's not nice, it's the truth.
- Thank you.
The rest I have written down.
No, don't read it yet.
- As you wish.
I'll leave you alone now.
Will you be at my party?
I can take you in my dad's car.
Yes, cool.
I wasn't too obnoxious?
Ciao.
You're back on.
I didn't want to listen,
but it was beautiful.
Drigeard, Éric.
- Yes, it's me.
I focused on Hamlet.
I didn't study Richard III.
Thank you for taking us.
- Of course, Caroline.
How is Éric going to get there?
- Yes, how will he?
Isn't he coming with us?
- What is it with you?
We'll have to cancel the weekend,
we don't know if Éric is coming.
What is it with you?
Can't we ask about your friend?
Whe's right, where is Éric?
- Screw you, dad.
Well I'll be...
Everyone in the car.
They're not picking you up?
- No, as you can see.
I did have it coming a little.
I'll take you.
Hopefully you won't be too embarrassed.
Or you can sit in the back.
- It's a great van, dad.
It's not the BX like Patrice's dad.
Come, Arlette.
We'll be right back.
Oh, that door.
I'd even put a big sausage on it.
Don't go crazy.
Even if the chipolata does great.
No, really.
Dad?
I want to talk to you.
If I was a doctor, like...
would you be proud of me?
- Like Patrice's father?
To have a BX?
Isn't a restaurant good enough?
That's not it.
A restaurant is great.
But?
Nothing.
- So I embarrass you.
Honest, no.
- You are. I embarrass you.
I'll never be ambarrassed for you.
Will you be for me?
You always say I'm good for nothing.
- But that's not what I'm thinking.
That's a matter of speaking.
I say it about everyone.
So you don't think I'm good for nothing?
- No.
Dad?
I have two things.
First, I'm going to get by in life.
And second,
I failed the make-up test.
Idiot. You truly are good for nothing.
A real waste of.
Are you angry?
- Angry? No, not angry.
I'm angry. I'm worried.
Just wait until you have a child of your own.
Are you even capable?
- I'm sure going to try.
Not a word about the make-up test
to your mother.
Dad?
- What?
I love you.
- What?
I love you.
Wait a moment,
what's with all the noise here.
There will be no smoking here.
- Sorry.
Sorry, doctor.
I'll put a mark here...
and check when this is over.
Well, I'll be going.
Bya dad.
We'll see each other tomorrow, right?
Have fun.
Oh, and do me a favor.
Find yourself a girl,.
A good one.
One who can take care of you
when your mom and I are gone.
Promise. I'll find the right one.
And keep her. I promise.
Okay.
- You know...
France will be world champion.
- What do you know about that?
I promise you. 3-0 against Brasil
in 1998, in the Stade de France.
What Stade de France?
- Really, france will win the world championship.
What do you know about that?
- See you, dad.
And now?
- Did you read the letter?
Yes.
- What did you think?
There's Éric.
Hi Éric, you alright?
- I'm fine.
Come Patrice, I'll take a picture.
Come on.
Come.
Why didn't you pick me up?
- Smile for the camera.
Cheese.
Come, we need to talk.
What's the problem?
- Come on.
What is it that you want?
- What I want?
Take someone else's life
but not mine.
I see the game you're playing with Caro.
- How so? Nothing happened.
In La Main Jaune.
- Nothing happened.
You're coming on to my wife.
You always wanted to.
But your wife, or Caro,
is no one's at the moment.
You wanted to switch? Freedom!
- Not anymore.
I have nothing with yours.
You don't need to judge my life.
Technically speaking, Caro isn't your wife.
You didn't even kiss her.
What do you mean? That you get to go first?
- No, but we can ask her.
Caro, we need to talk to you.
- I'm dancing.
Sit down over here.
Get lost, Casimir.
The tape recorder is broken.
Yes, if you turn everything on at once,
the fuse will blow out.
It's an old house.
I've said so before.
I'm going to get some sleep.
Caroline, your turn.
Truth or dare?
Truth.
Okay, truth.
- I think this is stupid.
Patrice thinks it's stupid.
Our in-vitro professor can
hook up with a 17 year old girl.
At least I'm not stealing
my best friend's wife.
Your wife? Where is she?
I don't see her.
Has anyone seen her?
- What is this? This is too much.
You should be more concerned
about your father.
What's that?
- You heard me.
Guys'he's at it again.
You're not gonna be fighting, damnit.
Did you have fun yesterday?
Super.
- What did you do?
Drink. Mull over the world, our lives.
Nakedt?
- Yes. With Patrice, your husband.
That is your husband, right, Patrice?
- Yes he is.
You've been drinking a lot yesterday.
Good, then I'll get dressed.
My god, Anne.
Oh my god.
Hi, honey. Are you alright?
I am. But this isn't Cap d'Agde.
Get dressed.
We've been drinking.
- Éric and you. I saw his ass too.
You did?
- Just now.
Where is he now?
- Upstairs, I think.
I'll kick his ass, the idiot.
Get over here.
I'm coming.
Now what?
- My wife saw your ass.
What are you complaining about?
I'm gonna be a father and you have your wife back..
My best friend tried to steal my wife.
- Nothing happened, knock it off.
Do you swear on our friendship?
- Yes, nothing happened with Caroline.
Even though technically speaking she
wasn't your wife back in 1986.
Technically speaking I'll smash your brains in.
What are you two doing?
We're talking.
- What is your problem with clothes?
Everything alright?
- Yes, just feeling a bit off.
The second echo is on Tuesday.
- Second already?
Yes, at six months.
- Time flies?
You're forgetting a lot
of things lately.
Everything's moving so fast.
- Are you sure you're alright?
Yes, I just feel a bit lost.
- You and Patrice need to stop drinking so much.
You know what, honey?
I missed you.
- I don't know what's gotten into you.
But I missed you too.
Boys? Are you awake?
Dad, mom, you're here.
- We just came from the market.
Are you here often?
- We live here.
Ever since we retired.
Are you alright?
Great. And you guys look great too.
You're beautiful.
Old, but beautiful.
You're better off here
than in the retirement home...
All those old people...
- He's been like this all morning.
Will you take Chloé to the
movies tonight? Great.
I'm so happy. I have my wife,
my parents are taking my daughter to the movies...
They were drinking yesterday.
- Yes we were. it was great.
You know, Chloé, I'm going to tell you
something very important.
Life is a big mess
that you'll never get sorted.
Mom was right.
You and Éric drank too much yesterday.
My vaccines for Ouagadougou?
Of course. Even if you're going to kabul
I will follow you.
We were there two years ago.
- I know.
Then I'll do it again.
- Or will you finally keep your promise?
Your note for me.
I've always kept it.
Coupon for one marriage and two beautiful children.
Valid for an entire lifetime.
You were crazy at 17, weren't you?
That's our song.
- Our song?
The first time you kissed me.
And then you fell down thr stairs.
You were my first patient.
You mean when we kissed like this?
It was better than that.
- Like this?
I don't owe any taxes,
but my wife does the bookkeeping.
That's not so bad.
- We're together an awful lot.
So cute.
No debts and almost a father.
looks like you settled down after all.
Sort of.
If you believe this text message
from a certain Natasha...
I'm still very marketable.
- Don't do anything stupid.
You're right, I'll delete it.
I'm waiting. Delete it.
Right now?
- That's what I was thinking.
You're a pain.
It's not easy, being married.
Come I'll happily delete it.
And you?
- I feel great.
I have my monogamous life back.
It's really what I was made for.
I happily put all the bags in the car.
I've never been happier.
I love my wife, my daughter.
I love my hair.
And you.
What you said about never sorting it out,
you were right.
I love the mess my life is.
Damnit, he's getting philosophical.
I'm gonna find a new bottle.
- No, we've had enough.
You're right. We're adults now.
We go to bed before midnight.
As all good fathers do.
Then let's go.
Desireless has your hair.
- She does? No don't, stop pinching me.
Adrien?
Matthieu?
Raphael?
This time we fell too hard.
Patrice? Out.
- Damnit
---
Give me those glasses.
- Not while I'm driving.
There, that should do it.
- Here.
Stop it, I'm driving.
- You used to love my English.
Does it remind you of something?
- First kiss in La Main Jaune.
We just danced there.
First kiss was in your parents' second home.
Your graduation party.
Don't you remember?
They could have come.
- It's not practical for those old folks.
When you're going in and out all the time.
They have it good there.
They have...
Well, couches...
It's alright there.
Damn, speed camera. Shit.
Goddamnit.
Mind the little one.
- She's just playing.
She won't hear.
Get fucked. Damnit. Sheesh.
Ouagadougou. Nice name.
What did she buy in Ouagadougou?
It's in Burkina Faso.
Not much there except malaria.
Do you trust Chloé with him for a month?
- Yes. Right?
I can see the drama.
Look, he's not even eating his ragout.
Put it in a box, we'll take it to
Ouagadougou together.
Girls, this is where my friend forst
frenched your mother.
A song by The Korgis.
I forgot the drummer's name.
At a graduation thing.
For those that graduated.
Chloé, a thing is.... well, a party.
Just without alcohol, drugs
and no One Direction.
That was in 1986.
- Year of my birth.
Wow, you're young.
Do you know, Patricia...
- My name is Sabrina.
Oh yes. I should have kissed your guy.
You were good with guys.
No, I just got by.
Don't listen.
If I remember correctly,
Loïc Galland really liked you.
Who's that, Loïc Galland?
- My boyfriend, before I dated your father.
A real hunk. Although he did blow.
Did you blow, mom?
Swag.
That's right.
Sure, let her roll some joints..
Knock it off, don't be such a wuss.
Your dad dumped him for me.
With a note, remember?
We didn't have text messages back then.
Did you ever dump someone via text message?
- No, that's not my style.
Galland? Let's check Facebook.
Get rid of that thing.
Enough nastalgia for one day.
Don't hurry.
- You're staying here, and give me that tablet.
I'm not taking your bottle of wine, am I?
I was born on the stairs.
Why are you saying that?
- I thought you were reminiscing?
Never did a delivery ina stairwell?
- Funny enough, no.
I'd prefer a hospital.
Then again, I'm difficult.
Hold on girls,
I'll get it loose.
You're tiresome.
You've been moping all night.
Look around. Aren't you happy?
- Do you know what my life looks like?
Work, wife, kid, parents...
Mine's not much better.
- Everything's going too quickly.
I'm not enjoying life.
- First world problems.
You don't get it. Me and Caro are done.
She doesn't like me anymore.
And I don't like her Doctors-Without-Borders
side. It's like fucking Kouchner.
I'm only staying for Chloé.
- You don't see her that often.
Well, thanks.
It's nice talking to you.
I don't get it.
You have the perfect wife.
I can't see anything better
than my mother and my ex.
I wouldn't mind having your life.
- With a 12-year-old brat?
If it's yours, no problem.
She's raised properly...
You ahd a kid?
- All I need is find the mother.
You've already found Ms Right.
But me, at my age...
I haven't found Ms Right.
- You did, Anne.
You just didn't manage to hold on to her.
And as a consolation...
Sabrina.
The one. Shit.
And Lola, Karen, Ashley, Dominique...
They were pretty good.
I'm leaving, Patrice.
- You've had too much booze.
You're sleeping here.
- No, I'm too busy.
Problems?
- I haven't paid any taxes in five years.
I need to go or I'm going to jail.
How much do you need?
Too much.
Where will you go?
- Far away. Thailand.
I've saved a little,
I wanna start something there.
A Grill-restaurant.
Delicious grilled chicken.
- When are you going?
Monday morning.
- Then you can stay here for now.
We'll talk about it in the morning.
For now, a nice '86...
to go with your grilled chicken.
- '86? I'm with you.
2006 will do for me too.
To Thailand for grilled chicken.
Idiot.
Your mother will never let you go.
- Voyage, voyage...
Sht, you'll wake everyone.
Would you do Desireless?
- No.
Weird that you call yourself Desire,
with a face like that...
Desireless
it means 'not in the mood'.
English was never your best.
What about Harlem Désir?
- Désir is just his name.
I'd rather fuck Harlem Désir
than Desireless.
You're crazy.
Did you ever do it with a guy?
Oh, nice back.
You smell great.
- Knock it off, we'll fall.
The dark is scary.
Is that you?
Shit, damnit.
- Wait, I'll get the light.
This is the 9 o'clock news.
What the hell is that?
Hi, honey.
Wow, we really got plastered last night.
Dad? Damnit.
My god, dad?
- Patrice, two swears is too much.
Morning, love.
Damnit, mom.
- Patrice...
You made it late with Éric?
You look odd.
He looks weird, right?
That wine sure gets to you.
Morning. Éric.
- Good morning.
I...
I'm going... I'm going to...
I'll be right back.
I'm... I'm going to get changed.
They were out drinking again.
What's the matter?
- Beats me, back to their youth I guess.
Is that normal to you?
- No.
Why am I naked?
- So was I. What happened yesterday?
Did we drink too much?
- We were drunk and in the wine cellar.
Honestly, something's not right.
Damnit.
Damnit.
What is this?
- What is the meaning of this?
Is there a hidden camera somewhere?
I don't see any wires.
Jesus.
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
Oh, that was good.
It's been way too long.
Pinch me.
Again.
That's enough.
Smack me.
Hit me or we'll never know
if that is us.
Are you insane?
- Sorry.
Damn, that's really us.
- Only younger. Like my parents.
Do people see us like this?
- I think so.
You're a doctor, you should know.
- I'm a gynecologist.
How should I know why
I have hair and you're naked?
No, this can't be. It's in our mind.
We just had too much to drink.
I don't feel so good.
- Want me to smack you?
No, I'm fine.
Damnit.
I only have panties, no boxers.
What do we do now?
- I don't know.
We're in deep shit.
- Guys, breakfast's ready.
I have a book signing on Monday
in Strassbourg. I can't go like this.
How do we get old again?
I don't know.
We're really in trouble.
Are you guys coming?
And you - get some pants on.
And? Not too nervous
about the big day?
I remember the day I got
my test scores.
Dad, is Mitterrand dead or alive?
Were you drinking last night?
- No.
Honestly, dad.
- I could cancel your party, you know.
Got it?
- Yes, dad.
Know what, if you graduate cum laude,
we'll go see Jean de Florette.
Are you coming, Éric?
- I've already seen it.
You've been drinking.
They were drinking.
You win, guys.
I'm staying for your graduation party.
This is not a booze free-for-all
and it's not going to be either.
Come on, let's go pack.
That much for a single weekend?
We have to get back.
- I wanna g to my parents tonight.
I wanna see my dad.
You get it, right?
Be back tomorrow.
- Come on guys, let's go.
We have two options: we're either in 1986
or we're in Valenciennes.
Look at you.
You're beautiful, mom.
I guess you have some questions.
Arlette, when you're done with your son,
clear up table 6 will you.
You're handsome, dad.
What's his problem?
- He's still mad.
Why?
When he picked you up from school.
- What did I do?
You ran away when he
came up in the van.
He said you were embarrassed.
Now he's not talking to you.
Is that why we haven't spoken?
- For two days.
Arlette, table 6. Second time.
Patrice, wake up.
Hurry up, the wife's waiting.
You have to take Chloé
to her dancing lesson.
Lame.
How did we get here?
- Basement stairs.
Where did you get that?
- I'm thinking.
I've seen Les Visiteurs 1 and 2.
To get back, we have to
backtrace our steps.
Back to the wine cellar.
It's called the passage.
- You've just seen two movies.
So what? We have to get back?
- Your idea will never work.
It will.
- Let's get back now.
No, first get through the day.
Let's do it tonight.
Are you busy tonight? Right.
Let's look at the numbers.
- We know the numbers.
Isn't this funny?
Caro is here too.
Alright then.
What are you doing?
- My hair.
Why do we need our grades?
- We're doing the same as we were in 1986.
What's the point?
- Would you look at that ass?
You have 25 years on her.
- It's 1986, this is a holiday trip.
Ah yes, the Dutch girl on the camping trip.
- She won't go for the lifeguard.
Look how happy he is.
- Who is he again?
Michel Huon. 'Very well.'
He works for Picard and his wife
looks like an American fridge.
How do you know?
- He eats in the restaurant a lot.
There, Isabelle Ramos. She failed the exams.
She'll go to India and become a yoga instructor.
She married that guy.
- How do you know that?
She told me when I was
fucking her last month..
Look, Hervé Roland.
We did pre med together.
He dropped out. Now he's a doctor
in the Fresnes jail.
Look, she's cute.
- Yes, she's real hot.
That's my wife.
You weren't seeing each other yet.
- I was afraid to talk to her.
Hello, Caro.
Hello.
I'm gonne check my grades.
- You passed.
Result: good.
- Cool.
My parents will be happy. How about you?
- Passed.
Make-up test.
- How are you, sugar?
That's Loïc Galland, the good looking one.
- How so? He's no Cary Grant.
Cary Grant?
- To each his own.
Tablet, Cary Grant...
- Let's go for a drink.
Are you guys coming?
- Sure.
You're not jealous?
- No, she dumped him.
We shouldn't interfere
with past, remember?
In a few days, La Main Jaune
and in a week, the first kiss.
And in 25 years, you'll have enough.
Remember?
What can I get you young folks?
- A Bourgogne, please.
You're kidding, right.
You're 17. You'll get a coffee.
He whats-his-name. Did you pass?
- Yes.
Great. Delebration dinner?
Can you go to a restaurant?
Where are you goijg for the holidays?
- La Boule, same as always.
Is your country-side party
still on, Patrice?
Party?
- Graduation thing.
The Korgis, remember.
- Ah yes, the party. I forgot.
Of course it's still on.
We'll make out there.
I felt so bad that I almost failed.
I couldn't believe it.
- What's he talking about?
I haven't got a clue.
It's terrible.
- What are you talking about?
Téléphone breaking up of course.
Are you guys on drugs?
I've seen enough, let's go.
- Let's go.
Patrice, hang on. A game.
- No.
Okay, I'm going.
- Did you go to college?
I did. Where's dad?
- Upstairs, watching TV.
You're gonna pass the make-up test, right?
- You need to watch out.
For what?
- Dad. Take good care of him.
Éric...
Are you doing drugs?
...Jacques Chirac decided to
go ahead at a faster pace..
Bye dad, I'm going.
I'm sorry about the van-thing.
I apologize.
Also...
Don't worry. I'll get there
without a degree.
Because of that he never spoke to me again.
It's a killer, right?
- Sushi on a Smart is better.
That's for work.
- Right, I'll put ovaries on my SUV.
Why not?
Stop it.
- Pee at home, we're almost there.
I wanna talk to you.
Why won't you go back?
- Don't our lives suck?
Was it any better in 1986?
We can do everything again and better.
I don't follow.
You don't wanna go back?
You promised.
I have a daughter. A job.
Is it your dad?
- And other stuff.
But not on my own.
Now I can still pass.
Go to college.
I can settle down,
have a life like you.
And where does that get me?
- Everywhere.
Didn't you have enough of that
mundane, monogamous life?
Didn't you say so?
- I did...
Then take my life.
Adventure, freedom.
I don't know if
I want your crappy life.
You don't? Doesn't it sound great,
without the 300 patients a month...
10 book signings a weel
and two fights with the wife a day?
Didn't you want to relax?
My life is relaxed.
If someone like me is running it...
your life can't be all bad.
You're right, I need to relax.
It's tempting.
Your life could be fantastic.
And my daughter?
- You'll have another.
You already know this. You were bummed out.
Just press the repeat button.
That's it. let's switch.
I'll get your life, you get mine.
Shit, police.
- Leave them to me.
Do your son is under age?
And he does not have a driver's license?
He told me that he does.
- My son is scum.
What were they getting themselves in to?
- It's one thirty.
It's June 24th. They're free.
Sign here and you can take them with you.
Thank you, officer.
I think they learned their lesson.
I don't get it. You graduated.
Your whole future is ahead of you.
And now you wanna go to jail?
- I only borrowed your BX.
We just wanted to have some fun.
I'm sorry, dad.
So you do remember me?
Not too embarrassed that I'm picking you up?
You're grounded.
- Why?
Good luck.
- You too.
If I were you I'd
go and get that diploma. Move it..
A Tourtel.
The taste, the hop, the foam...
With Tourtel you will enjoy your beer
alcohol free.
Hello Mr Olesky. It's Éric,
can I speak to Patrice?
It's late, what do you want?
- Sorry, it's about the make-up test.
Alright, hang on.
It's Éric.
Keep it short.
Hi, Éric. What is it?
- I have a great idee.
I want to become a doctor.
- Yeah, right.
Hold on.
Are you still there?
Alright, I'll see you
in the cafe tomorrow.
Alright, until tomorrow.
Put it back?
Paul, a Tourtel.
I've always wanted to do that.
- Listen.
Like I said, I've been thinking.
- Never as much as in '86, right?
The '80 inspired me.
- So 10 years of med school.
Why not?
I'll graduate.
I blew the oral exam.
A detail like that changes your life.
And my English is a lot better now.
- Since when?
Since...
Since I have...
American customers in the restaurant.
- At the restaurant.
After that, med school,
and I'll be a doctor.
That makes sense.
- I'm as good as this as you.
Sorry sir, it was a joke.
I'd seen the commercial.
Too bad. That's 4 francs.
Alright, I'll drink it.
Here, keep the change.
Where did you get that money?
- I can take care of myself.
Stolen from your dad?
- I have a reputation to keep.
My mom.
- Fine.
I don't want any foam.
- You're not getting it this way. I'm out.
Hang on.
Wait, Patrice.
What did you say?
I get it, we're screen writers.
We tell them the story of a big movie
and they buy the rights.
Can I help you?
- We're here to see Claude Berri.
We want to propose a,
actually, a few scenatios.
Do you have an appointment?
- No.
It will be hard then.
How old are you?
Since when do ideas come with an age limit?
- We just wanna speak to someone.
I'm sorry, you need an appointment.
What are you doing?
- The intro.
I apologize for disturbing you
and your daughter, Mr Barclay.
This is my wife.
First idea: guy works for the mail service,
down south.
He pretends to be an invalid
to get a better job.
But he gets found out.
As punishment, he has to
go back north.
Where it's cold.
- Which he doesn't want.
It's always raining up north.
It will be hilarious.
Like, when he drives off,
h hits a 'Welcome to the north' sign...
and boom: pouring rain...
- Right after the sign.
There he sees a guy from the north.
- A real idiot.
And he doesn't understand the guy
because of the accent.
In the north they say 'chi' instead of 'qui'.
And they'll go 'hy'.
In the end, the lead character...
- But also the other guy.
Yes, but it goes...
He's the one from the north
and from the south.
So it's at Ch'tis.
We spot a knight,
wandering around...
A knight and his...
- Beggar, his...
His squire.
Who's very filthy, and nervous.
While the knight's great to see.
The fine knight
is hurled into the present.
Very funny.
The beggar's character, so stressed...
hears the words of today.
like nowadays you often say 'okay'.
As in 'okay, fine'.
Ánd he tries his own way.
Very funny.
It could be titled Les Visiteurs.
Black and white, silent.
With a dog.
- And a paraplegic, completely paralyzed.
He needs help.
He has people audition.
And so he meets this scumbag.
Real scum...
- Right off the street. And black.
You were too high.
Like at your cousin's wedding.
My voice is like a clock.
- You mean it sucks.
Our new lives are off to a great start.
What do we do now?
I have to go over the material again.
Are you tking up English?
- I know what's on the test: Hamlet.
What else?
- I don't know. Don't fret.
Ask Caroline.
- What?
To help you out. She's great at English.
- Not abad idea.
It won't bother you?
- Why would it?
Then go over there now.
- As you wish. it's your life.
Can I call you tonight?
- How?
With the telephone. Your place.
- What time, I don't have all night.
Are you busy tonight?
Then I'll call you at your house.
Yes, but what time?
Know what, I'll come by.
Fine, but what time?
Call me when you know what time
you want me to come by.
What time shall I call
to tell you what time you can come over?
Just before you want me to come over.
Never mind the call.
I'll just come by.
Okay, but what time will you be there?
What a noice.
- France is in the semi finals.
Where to?
- Bains-douches.
We've never been there.
- You haven't. I have.
If you want my life,
start at the beginning. Come.
You look beautiful. And the dress?
- Alaïa.
Have a great evening.
Good evening.
Can we?
- I don't have time for this.
Come on, Maryline.
Malou, Maloche, it's me, Éric.
I've been here a thousand times.
Don't you remember me? From '88 to '95.
Take these two idiots with you.
- Take it easy.
We spent so much money here.
Bouncers were stupid back then.
- We'll go over there.
I'm not done yet.
Hi. Wanna go to with us?
Two guys, two girls.
No way.
- Your loss.
That was close.
- 1986 was not your best year.
Apparantly not.
- This isn't going to work.
What isn't?
- A different life. We're just 17.
I didn't know you were this serious.
- I wanna be a doctor.
Doctor?
- How is that funny?
You don't need to be bald and ugly
to be a doctor.
Thanks.
- You're bot bald. Or a doctor.
Focus.
- Yes dad.
Did you know he wanted to be a doctor?
- He's mentioned it.
Come on, Engels.
I'm not interrupting, am I?
Sorry about that.
- Okay, page 36, line 15.
Can we go on?
- Sorry.
Really, why do you want to be a doctor?
Say it again.
And again.
Who is getting tutored here?
Come on, dad.
- I said no.
One o'clock. It'll be fine?
Midnight...
- The answer is still no.
This place is a jail.
Patrice, can we talk to you please?
Fine, give me that tape recorder.
It's a walkman.
I'm not taking your wine, am I?
What's gotten in to you?
- I wanna go out. Party. See girls.
I'm suffocating here.
- You can forget about that graduation thing.
It's a part, not a graduation thing.
Did this come from Éric?
- I can make up my own mind.
What do you want?
- I don't know.
But no pre med.
I don't wanna be a doctor like you.
I'm not saying you have to be.
I didn't even know you wanted to.
Then I won't be a doctor.
- Then you won't be.
Then I won't be a doctor.
- Then you won't be.
I'm not gonna be a doctor.
- You won't be a doctor.
Where are you going?
- To have some fun.
EAnd I'm sick of this ugly coat.
- I bought that for you.
That makes it worse.
No...
- Come on, we were invited.
They'll still kick us out.
Have it your way. I'm going home
before my parents catch me.
Are you alright, Éric?
- Yes.
Tomorrow I'll see Caroline about tutoring.
- Whatever you say.
Bye bye. I'm a big boy. A cool dude.
Éric, do you have 10 francs?
Here. be the big boiy
but fail your exams.
That has nothing to do with it
I'll take the make-up test.
Patrice wanted to celebrate
his graduation.
Do his parents let him go out?
- No.
So you dragged him along.
- He wanted to screw.
Where are you going?
- The bathroom.
Look how cute you are. Are you scared?
- No, not at all.
You know. I'll get my cigarettes
and walk with you.
Okay.
Do you come here often?
- Relax. You're in good hands.
Relax, Max.
- I am relaxed.
Is this swag?
I mean cool. Awesome.
- What?
It's cool.
- Yes, cool.
Where do you work?
Hi's a bit young, isn't he?
But yes, he's cute.
Bye, sir.
Come with us?
- I'm not sure.
Come on. Three out on the town,
three going home.
It's tempting. But I'd rather
go home on my own. Bye.
Hello, is everything alright?
Can I join you?
- Caro is on her way.
This is from her.
I'll be damned. First Téléphone
breaks up, and now Caro is leaving me.
It's not that bad.
- And why are you giving me this note?
Are you two seeing each other?
- You're bummed. There will be others.
Come on, let's go outside.
- It'll end badly.
Outside.
- Stop it.
Fine, we'll go outside.
This fucking hurts.
He broke my ribs.
Didn't you remember Loïc Galland
was a black belt?
Back then I had a Fumizuki.
Don't you sell Fumizukis
at the restaurant?
Why did you ask her?
- No reason.
What if I was here with someone.
- Did you ask a girl?
Well?
- Will you see her after class?
Loïc got his ass kicked.
What's up with that mushy stuff?
- Jealous?
Why would I be jealous?
Give me those glasses.
- They're for reading and driving.
Good as new.
- Thanks.
Really clean.
- Looks great on you. A real man.
You're a real woman tonight.
- Like what, old?
No. Classy, elegant.
Is it over with Loïc?
- A dreamer like that is not for me.
What are you looking for in a man?
- I'm not looking. I've got time.
It's starting.
- Arlette, come here, darling.
France will not be in the
finals this Saturday.
Orange and water.
Pliers in, water in.
I have to go.
See you tomorrow?
- What for?
Friends in La Main Jaune.
You are coming, right?
La Main Jaune is a bit of a problem.
- Come on.
I'll try.
- Okay, I have to go now..
Will you ask Patrice?
- Yes.
Did Caro leave already?
- Yes, she just left.
But she said hi.
- I'm out too. See you tomorrow?
No...
Not tomorrow.
I have to work on my English.
You're really changing, are you?
Okay, ciao.
Bye, sir.
No, thanks.
You'll be a free spirit,
with no obligations.
Give yourself a new chance.
- Fine, we'll switch lives.
Sorry.
Will you be long, mom?
- I just put it on.
It's urgent.
- So are these orders.
I'm not your servant.
- I'm gone.
Do I need to order panties?
- I'm not wearing those anymore.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Exscuse me, can I?
Thanks.
Hi. Can I get the number
for Caroline Toura?
Mr and Mrs Toura. Avenue de l'Opéra, Paris.
Yes, I'll hold.
How much longer?
- That's not up to me.
I'm in a hurry.
- So is everyone else.
But I'm working.
- Then get to work.
We are not ona first-name basis.
- Yes, madam. No.
No, I don't have a pen.
- Just a fountain pen, I'm not giving that out.
I tried to remember.
Give me a franc.
- I need it myself.
Idiot.
- Stay polite, young man.
This young man has had enough of you.
Here, a mobile phone.
You'll understand later.
Where is Caro?
- Caro? I don't know a Caro, pal.
I'm not your pal, older than you
and not in the mood for this.
Where is Caro?
- Ask your buddy Éric.
Where is Caro?
Where is she?
- At La Main Jaune.
Want the address?
- Shut up.
And don't look so stupid.
Hello.
Thank you.
No, thank you. There's no need.
I'll only be here a few minutes.
Why the face.
- It's werird being alone here with you.
You mean on roller skates?
Relax a little.
You've earned this.
Are you alright?
- I am.
You're so shy.
- You're so young.
You prefer a 25-year-old?
I don't know what I want anymore.
What am I doing?
Are you alright?
- I'm fine.
You go out in the fternoon?
- Yes.
Where's the exit?
- Over there.
Watch it. I'll hold you.
Do you still have that car?
- Yes, why?
You wouldn't understand., Come.
- Wait outside, I'll be right there.
What are we doing out in the country?
Alone in this big house?
You wouldn't believe me.
- I've seen worse.
Everyone has fantasies.
- My friend's fucking my wife.
I want it to be 2014 again
with everything back to normal.
At your age, you shouldn't
be bothered so much.
Stop it. Cut it out.
This is not the right time.
It's always the right time.
Thanks, but I'm going now.
To the cellar.
Sneaky. I like that.
It's not what you think.
You acted strabge at La Main Jaune.
- I'm worried about the make-up test.
You're doing fine.
Anything new from Patrice?
No, he's worried too.
- You guys are weird, you know?
You act like a couple of old guys.
- That's not so far off.
What is it?
- Something in my eye. Have a look.
I have to go now.
Don't look at me like that.
- You started it.
I've seen a lot of perverts,
but never like this.
It's not what you think.
Damnit.
- I'll get undressed for you.
And then I'll hit you.
It's not happing.
Together until the end.
That's David Guetta.. David...
That's David Guetta.
It's David Guetta.
If my daughter hears this...
Hello.
Oh, this is good.
Man this feels good. Keep going.
You drive me crazy.
- Stop talking.
Okay, I'll stop talking.
I'm crazy. I'm sick.
I'm coming.
No, I can't.
I'll help you.
- Stop it.
Don't you want mr?
- That's not it. I can't.
I'm married. I have a daughter.
I love my wife.
You're 17 and married.
I'm not stupid.
You wouldn't understand.
- Oh. Guess I'm too stupid.
Sayonara, stupid bastard.
Listen. I don't know what you're doing
but get your hands off my wife..
I know what you want. Let's end this
and go back to our own lives.
I want my life back.
I love my wife and daughter.
We're ending this,
You keep your life and I'll keep mine.
Got it?
- Patrice?
Did you see the fire department?
- No.
My wife's in labor.
Hello madam.
- Who are you?
Easy. I may look young
but I'm a gynecologist.
Who is Bernard?
- My husband.
I've seen him,
He's waiting for the fire department.
Did your water break?
- Yes.
Are you primoparturient?
- What?
Is this your first?
- Yes.
Do you have any towels or blankets?
- In the closet.
Here?
- Yes.
Who are you?
- I appear young but I'm a gynecologist.
Easy.
Move forward on the bed.
A bit more.
Easy, you'll be fine.
Deep breaths.
Everything will be fine.
The fire department isn't coming.
What are you doing?
Get out or I will call the police.
- I may look young but I'm a gynecologist.
Everything will be fine.
Get out, you idiot.
Her water broke.
She's having the baby here.
Don't touch my wife.
- He's a gynecologist. Let him.
Or I'll die.
- What's he doing?
I'm measuring the dilation.
- Do you have to?
Shut up, Bernard.
Go on, ma'am. Are you alright, sir.
Grab a chair.
Then we'll do it on the floor.
Listen, madam,
Breathe in. Hold your breath,
And push, right?
Hold, and push.
She's so small.
- You're lucky, it's a girl.
Thank you.
- Thank you, doctor.
No thanks. It's my job.
What's her name?
Sabrina.
- That's a nice name.
Where were you?
- We ran into a moped.
If it hadn't been for this guy
my wife would've had the baby on the staircase.
Before we had a truck...
- Not so loud.
Dad?
- What is it?
Are you hurt?
- No.
I just want to say something.
- In the middle of the night?
It's very important.
I don't want to be a doctor.
- Not this again.
Do whatever you want, Patrice.
- I'm serious. I don't want to be a doctor.
I'm gonna be a gynecologist.
- That's fine.
Very fine.
Is that all you had to say?
- Yes, Goodnight, dad.
Love you.
Goodnight.
What was that?
- Patrice wants to be a gynecologist.
Pervert.
What do you want?
- Who is Zidane?
What was that, Zinedine?
- He insulted my mother.
My name is Éric Drigeard. I know that...
I know this is weird...
but I am older than you think.
I'm over forty..
About your future.
You need to keep going.
I don't care about my future.
I'm tired of soccer.
I want to play tennis.
- Don't.
No, French and tennis...
You're cut out for soccer.
What do you want. Are you a scout?
- Listen, Zizou.
You're going to win \
that world cup for is, alright?
My name isn't Zizou.
I am not a bird.
What are you doing?
- I'm talking to Zizou, the maestro.
I am thanking him for all he will do
for france and for my father.
And that hair.
Never mind, it'll go on its own.
There's the runaway.
- Can we speak for a moment?
Yes, take a chair.
- No, in private.
Are you nervous?
- What I want to say isn't easy.
Before you do anything stupid,
I just want you to know...
No, I'll start at the end.
I love you.
- Just like that.
You love me?
- Yes, really.
I have been thinking.
You are very special, Caro.
You are... I know you'll be
a fantastic doctor.
A great mother
and a perfect wife.
I was horrible, but you were right.
Je need to care for others.
I'll be around more.
I don't want to miss anything that we've built.
Anything we can build.
I don't want to miss you.
What you're saying is very nice,
even though I don't understand it.
It's not nice, it's the truth.
- Thank you.
The rest I have written down.
No, don't read it yet.
- As you wish.
I'll leave you alone now.
Will you be at my party?
I can take you in my dad's car.
Yes, cool.
I wasn't too obnoxious?
Ciao.
You're back on.
I didn't want to listen,
but it was beautiful.
Drigeard, Éric.
- Yes, it's me.
I focused on Hamlet.
I didn't study Richard III.
Thank you for taking us.
- Of course, Caroline.
How is Éric going to get there?
- Yes, how will he?
Isn't he coming with us?
- What is it with you?
We'll have to cancel the weekend,
we don't know if Éric is coming.
What is it with you?
Can't we ask about your friend?
Whe's right, where is Éric?
- Screw you, dad.
Well I'll be...
Everyone in the car.
They're not picking you up?
- No, as you can see.
I did have it coming a little.
I'll take you.
Hopefully you won't be too embarrassed.
Or you can sit in the back.
- It's a great van, dad.
It's not the BX like Patrice's dad.
Come, Arlette.
We'll be right back.
Oh, that door.
I'd even put a big sausage on it.
Don't go crazy.
Even if the chipolata does great.
No, really.
Dad?
I want to talk to you.
If I was a doctor, like...
would you be proud of me?
- Like Patrice's father?
To have a BX?
Isn't a restaurant good enough?
That's not it.
A restaurant is great.
But?
Nothing.
- So I embarrass you.
Honest, no.
- You are. I embarrass you.
I'll never be ambarrassed for you.
Will you be for me?
You always say I'm good for nothing.
- But that's not what I'm thinking.
That's a matter of speaking.
I say it about everyone.
So you don't think I'm good for nothing?
- No.
Dad?
I have two things.
First, I'm going to get by in life.
And second,
I failed the make-up test.
Idiot. You truly are good for nothing.
A real waste of.
Are you angry?
- Angry? No, not angry.
I'm angry. I'm worried.
Just wait until you have a child of your own.
Are you even capable?
- I'm sure going to try.
Not a word about the make-up test
to your mother.
Dad?
- What?
I love you.
- What?
I love you.
Wait a moment,
what's with all the noise here.
There will be no smoking here.
- Sorry.
Sorry, doctor.
I'll put a mark here...
and check when this is over.
Well, I'll be going.
Bya dad.
We'll see each other tomorrow, right?
Have fun.
Oh, and do me a favor.
Find yourself a girl,.
A good one.
One who can take care of you
when your mom and I are gone.
Promise. I'll find the right one.
And keep her. I promise.
Okay.
- You know...
France will be world champion.
- What do you know about that?
I promise you. 3-0 against Brasil
in 1998, in the Stade de France.
What Stade de France?
- Really, france will win the world championship.
What do you know about that?
- See you, dad.
And now?
- Did you read the letter?
Yes.
- What did you think?
There's Éric.
Hi Éric, you alright?
- I'm fine.
Come Patrice, I'll take a picture.
Come on.
Come.
Why didn't you pick me up?
- Smile for the camera.
Cheese.
Come, we need to talk.
What's the problem?
- Come on.
What is it that you want?
- What I want?
Take someone else's life
but not mine.
I see the game you're playing with Caro.
- How so? Nothing happened.
In La Main Jaune.
- Nothing happened.
You're coming on to my wife.
You always wanted to.
But your wife, or Caro,
is no one's at the moment.
You wanted to switch? Freedom!
- Not anymore.
I have nothing with yours.
You don't need to judge my life.
Technically speaking, Caro isn't your wife.
You didn't even kiss her.
What do you mean? That you get to go first?
- No, but we can ask her.
Caro, we need to talk to you.
- I'm dancing.
Sit down over here.
Get lost, Casimir.
The tape recorder is broken.
Yes, if you turn everything on at once,
the fuse will blow out.
It's an old house.
I've said so before.
I'm going to get some sleep.
Caroline, your turn.
Truth or dare?
Truth.
Okay, truth.
- I think this is stupid.
Patrice thinks it's stupid.
Our in-vitro professor can
hook up with a 17 year old girl.
At least I'm not stealing
my best friend's wife.
Your wife? Where is she?
I don't see her.
Has anyone seen her?
- What is this? This is too much.
You should be more concerned
about your father.
What's that?
- You heard me.
Guys'he's at it again.
You're not gonna be fighting, damnit.
Did you have fun yesterday?
Super.
- What did you do?
Drink. Mull over the world, our lives.
Nakedt?
- Yes. With Patrice, your husband.
That is your husband, right, Patrice?
- Yes he is.
You've been drinking a lot yesterday.
Good, then I'll get dressed.
My god, Anne.
Oh my god.
Hi, honey. Are you alright?
I am. But this isn't Cap d'Agde.
Get dressed.
We've been drinking.
- Éric and you. I saw his ass too.
You did?
- Just now.
Where is he now?
- Upstairs, I think.
I'll kick his ass, the idiot.
Get over here.
I'm coming.
Now what?
- My wife saw your ass.
What are you complaining about?
I'm gonna be a father and you have your wife back..
My best friend tried to steal my wife.
- Nothing happened, knock it off.
Do you swear on our friendship?
- Yes, nothing happened with Caroline.
Even though technically speaking she
wasn't your wife back in 1986.
Technically speaking I'll smash your brains in.
What are you two doing?
We're talking.
- What is your problem with clothes?
Everything alright?
- Yes, just feeling a bit off.
The second echo is on Tuesday.
- Second already?
Yes, at six months.
- Time flies?
You're forgetting a lot
of things lately.
Everything's moving so fast.
- Are you sure you're alright?
Yes, I just feel a bit lost.
- You and Patrice need to stop drinking so much.
You know what, honey?
I missed you.
- I don't know what's gotten into you.
But I missed you too.
Boys? Are you awake?
Dad, mom, you're here.
- We just came from the market.
Are you here often?
- We live here.
Ever since we retired.
Are you alright?
Great. And you guys look great too.
You're beautiful.
Old, but beautiful.
You're better off here
than in the retirement home...
All those old people...
- He's been like this all morning.
Will you take Chloé to the
movies tonight? Great.
I'm so happy. I have my wife,
my parents are taking my daughter to the movies...
They were drinking yesterday.
- Yes we were. it was great.
You know, Chloé, I'm going to tell you
something very important.
Life is a big mess
that you'll never get sorted.
Mom was right.
You and Éric drank too much yesterday.
My vaccines for Ouagadougou?
Of course. Even if you're going to kabul
I will follow you.
We were there two years ago.
- I know.
Then I'll do it again.
- Or will you finally keep your promise?
Your note for me.
I've always kept it.
Coupon for one marriage and two beautiful children.
Valid for an entire lifetime.
You were crazy at 17, weren't you?
That's our song.
- Our song?
The first time you kissed me.
And then you fell down thr stairs.
You were my first patient.
You mean when we kissed like this?
It was better than that.
- Like this?
I don't owe any taxes,
but my wife does the bookkeeping.
That's not so bad.
- We're together an awful lot.
So cute.
No debts and almost a father.
looks like you settled down after all.
Sort of.
If you believe this text message
from a certain Natasha...
I'm still very marketable.
- Don't do anything stupid.
You're right, I'll delete it.
I'm waiting. Delete it.
Right now?
- That's what I was thinking.
You're a pain.
It's not easy, being married.
Come I'll happily delete it.
And you?
- I feel great.
I have my monogamous life back.
It's really what I was made for.
I happily put all the bags in the car.
I've never been happier.
I love my wife, my daughter.
I love my hair.
And you.
What you said about never sorting it out,
you were right.
I love the mess my life is.
Damnit, he's getting philosophical.
I'm gonna find a new bottle.
- No, we've had enough.
You're right. We're adults now.
We go to bed before midnight.
As all good fathers do.
Then let's go.
Desireless has your hair.
- She does? No don't, stop pinching me.
Adrien?
Matthieu?
Raphael?
This time we fell too hard.
Patrice? Out.
- Damnit