Big Top Pee-wee (1988) - full transcript

The sweetest thing that's ever

Blown in with the breeze

And if you see her

I love you!

Tell her that I'm in love with her

She's the girl on the flying trapeze

She's the girl on the flying trapeze

Hey
The girl on the flying trapeze

Whoa

When I close my eyes

I see her there



Swinging through my dreams

And I want so bad to tell her
Yeah

How I really feel

She's the girl

On the flying trapeze

It's Abraham Lincoln!

Can I have your autograph,
Mr. Lincoln?

Oh, thank you so much. I'm such
a big fan of yours, Abraham.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

It's Pee-wee!

We'll be right back after this.

- Would you buy a tractor from a pig?
- No way.

- Would you buy a plow from a cow?
- No, ma'am.

Well, then...



You're back with Bob and me.

Vance.

Vance, wake up.
You'll be late for school.

Vance.

Vance!

Come on.

Come on.

Pee-wee Herman had a farm

Ee-yi-ee-yi-oh

With a...
And a...

Here a... There a...
Everywhere a...

Pee-wee Herman had a farm

Ee-yi-ee-yi-oh

Come on, everybody.
Wake up.

Rise and shine!

Come on, Sparky, get out of bed.

Sparky, come on.

I feel the same way,
but I got out of bed.

Good morning, Clyde.
Give me five.

Make your beds.

Haven't you been fed yet?

Chocolaty.

Yummy.

Come and get it!

Breakfast!

Come and get it!

Come and get it!

Whoa.

Good manners.

Here you are, Vance.

There you go.

Here you are.

Horace.

Hey, use your own plate.

Vance, how nice of you to share.

All right, everyone
may be excused.

Good morning, everybody.

My, don't we look lush this morning!

Look, Vance, the calla lilies
are in bloom again.

Let's see how this formula works.

OK, Pee-wee.

Splendid. I'm very satisfied
with these results, Pee-wee.

Me too. If we keep
going at this rate,

people will only have
to buy one tomato a year.

We do not want to end up
with a low potassium level.

Vance, you'd think I never
went to agricultural junior college.

Sorry. Boy, I'm hungry.
What are we doing for lunch?

Let me check my datebook.

I'm starving.

Lunch with Winnie.

Hello!

Out of the way!

Hey, Joe. What do you know?

What's the matter, Pee-wee?

That Joe sure
can talk your ear off.

I love that story.
Hey, Pee-wee, let's race.

- On your mark, get set,
- Hey!

Go!

Excuse me.

I win. I win.

I let you win.
Besides, you cheated.

You have more legs than me.

- Hello, Pee-wee.
- Hello, Winnie.

- Am I late?
- Of course you're late, Pee-wee.

But I forgive you.

Oh, Winnie.

Oh, the children!
The children!

Why don't you take a picture.
It'll last longer.

Paparazzi!

Oh, Pee-wee, really.

Now, children.

Mr. Herman and I would
like to have a quiet lunch.

Why don't you play with Vance.

Yes, Miss Johnson.

Alone at last.

I made your favorite.

Fried chicken.

No.

Hamburgers?

No, your favorite, Pee-wee.

Cheese sandwich!

No.

- I know. Turkey à la king.
- No.

- Vegetarian plate?
- No.

- Shepherd's pie?
- No.

- Olive loaf.
- No!

I can't think of anything else.
I give up.

It's egg salad, darling.

Egg salad. My favorite!

Egg salady.

That was delicious, Winnie.

Oh, thank you, Pee-wee.
Would you care for another?

Oh, no, no.
Thanks, I'm full.

Boy, you sure do have
beautiful hair, Winnie.

Thank you, Pee-wee.

May I?

Yes, you may, Pee-wee.

Oh, that feels good.

The clouds sure do look
beautiful, don't they, Winnie?

Look, that cloud looks
like an Indian riding a buffalo.

- Which one?
- That one right there.

That one right there looks
like a train going into a tunnel.

You can see that, can't you?

No, not really.

Now, how about some dessert?

Goodness, where does the time go?

Children! Children!

Come on, get her!
Get her!

- Get her! Get her!
- Get her! Get her!

Children!

Children!

Vance was just teaching
us to mud wrestle.

Well, thank you, Vance. Now I won't
have to cover that topic this afternoon.

Come on, let's get you cleaned up.

Bye, Winnie.

Oh, will I see you for lunch
tomorrow, Pee-wee?

Let me consult my datebook.

Yes, you will.

Till then.

- Come on, Vance.
- Now, give me that dirty hand.

So how was lunch?

Great.
Let's get something to eat.

- Yeah.
- On your mark, get set, go!

Thank you.

Hey! If I told you once,
I told you a hundred times.

I don't want you running around
my store, Pee-wee Herman.

Sorry, Mr. Ryan.
I'm just so hungry,

and I guess
I couldn't wait to sample

one of those delicious
cheese sandwiches of yours.

Would you mind making me one?

We were here first,
weren't we, Mr. Ryan?

I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.

And I'm sure Mr. Ryan
isn't going to serve you at all

as long as you've got that pig
in here. Isn't that right, Mr. Ryan?

That's right, Nadine.
No pigs allowed.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Dill.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Haynes.

I'm so awfully hungry.

I'm sure you
beautiful ladies wouldn't mind

letting me go ahead of you.

- Well, we certainly would mind.
- I should say so.

First come, first served.

Isn't that the way you've always
heard it, Mr. Ryan?

Sure is. First come, first served.

All right! All right!

I'll wait.

I hope you're planning to buy
that magazine.

This ain't no library.

Now, let me see.

Have you got any
of that lovely Korean lace?

Just come in.

Oh, this is pretty.

This would make a nice doily,
don't you think, Mae?

Oh, what about this
for the china cabinet?

Maybe.

All I wanted was
a measly sandwich!

I very nicely explained
that I was starving.

I'm starving! Please!

I'm sorry, ladies.
I guess you'll just have to wait.

You remember, no one is
as important in this community

as Pee-wee Herman.

All you other shoppers will just have
to play second fiddle to Pee-wee.

That's the way things are
around here.

My whole purpose in life
is to serve Pee-wee Herman,

and everything else
comes second.

There's your sandwich.

Is there anything else
I can do for you, Pee-wee?

Well, I would like a pickle
if it's not too much trouble.

Oh! No trouble at all, Pee-wee.

Sorry, Otis. Sorry, Deke.
Game's over.

Pee-wee Herman wants a pickle.

Here. Here's your darn pickle.
Are you happy now?

- Listen up, everybody.
- What's up, sheriff?

I got a call from Porterville.
There's a big storm heading this way.

You better get on home. Smiley,
you start boarding up the store.

Otis, can you give us a ride?

Ain't got no room.

Deke! Deke, can you give
me and Vance a ride?

No.

- Hurry, Vance!
- I'm hurrying!

- Vance!
- Yeah.

Get the animals
into the storm shelter.

- But what about you?
- Don't worry about me, Vance.

I'll be OK.

Women and chickens first!

Watch your step. Single file.

Come on, now, everybody.

There's nothing to be scared of.

It's only a storm.

We're safe down here.

Come on, Mary.
Let's dance.

- Listen.
- Sounds like the storm's over.

Sudan!

Sudan.

Sudan!

Where are you, Sudan?

Sudan.

Hey! Don't just stand there.

Help! Come on!

Sudan!

You OK, boss?

Well my shins are banged
up pretty bad.

I think my ribs are broke.

And it feels like I punctured
a major organ, Andy.

But I'm circus.
Come on, get me out of here.

Right, boss.

Otto, grab a couple of roustabouts
and set these wagons straight.

Yeah, boss.

- Andy!
- Yes.

Get to the cookhouse
and see that everybody's all right.

Right, boss.

Is this your farm, kid?

Yep. I'm Pee-wee Herman.

Mace Montana, manager
of the Cabrini Circus.

Nice to meet you,
Mr. Montana.

Mace! You gotta do something.
I can't get to the first-aid supplies.

People are hurt,
animals are loose,

- and the equipment...
- Pull yourself together, Snowball.

I've got a first-aid kit
in my house, Mr. Montana.

Get going, kid.

Pull! Pull!

Give me a hand.

Excuse me.

Hey, you got a hose
around here?

Over here.

Somebody, help! Water!

Hang on, Judy.

Here you go, Judy.

Hello, kitty.

That's a nice kitty.

Boss! We've rounded
up all the animals,

except for Sudan.
Can't find him anywhere.

Oh, my God.

Yes, you are a pretty kitty.

Who's that fluffy kitty?

I'll take him from here. Sudan!

Sudan, come on, kitty.

Come on. Up you go.

You like me, don't you?

Hey, you're all right, kid.

You've got sawdust in your veins.

I do?

Hey, Mace!
Where is Midge?

Isn't she in the wagon?

I haven't seen her.

Midge!

Midge!

- Has anybody seen my wife?
- No, Mace.

Oh, my God.
Come on, fan out, everybody.

I want you to cover every inch
of this farm until you find her.

Get moving.

Midge!

Midge!

Mace! Over here! I found her!

Thank God you're all right, darling.

Oh, I'm all right.
What a blow!

Hey, Pee-wee, come here.

Pee-wee, this is my wife, Midge.

Midge, this is Pee-wee Herman.

He runs this place.
He's been helping us out.

No big deal.

I mean... I used to know someone
named Midge when I was little.

Small world.

It's all right, kid. Relax.
It's nice to meet you.

Likewise, Midge.

There you go, baby.

OK, everybody, listen up.

We had a bad day.

Lost a couple of wagons.

Tent's banged up pretty bad,
and so are some of us.

- But we've had bad days before, right?
- Right.

- But we've had bad days before, right?
- Right.

We're gonna
get through this one.

Look, Mace, you can stay here if you
need a couple of weeks to get ready.

A couple of weeks, Pee-wee?
Our show goes on tonight.

Dell! Can you jerry-rig
some of that rigging?

I think so, Mace.

Ellen, how's that leg?
Can you go on?

I'm OK, Mace, but I don't
think Jimmy's up to it.

I know the act, Mace.
I'll go on for Jimmy.

That's the spirit.
Oscar, how are the animals?

They will be all right once
they settle down, boss.

My truck's got a busted axle.

You can use my tractor.

Thank you.

All right, everybody,
what are we going to do?

- We're gonna put on a show!
- That's right.

We're part of the greatest
show-business tradition in the world.

- And what's that?
- The circus!

All right, let's move it!

The circus!

What's all this racket?

What do you people
want around here?

We don't want anything, sir.

Mace Montana,
manager of the Cabrini Circus.

Circus? Well, I never.

We're here to give you the
best darn show you ever seen.

- We don't want it.
- Right.

Please. We've worked
awful hard

to get this show ready
for you.

Save your smooth talking,
Mr. Wyoming.

We told you,
we don't want no circus here.

And you show folk ain't
welcome in this town. Are they?

- No!
- No!

Townspeople! Listen to me.

You are getting very sleepy.

Your eyelids are getting very heavy.

You will enjoy the circus.

You will enjoy the circus.

We don't want no trouble, mister.

Come on, everybody.

Let's get these wagons
turned around.

I don't know what to make of it, kid.

What do you mean, Mace?

Well, Pee-wee,
when people don't want a circus,

the world just doesn't
make much sense.

What do you mean, Mace?

You know, I'm a guy
who spent most of his life

taking the world's frown
and trying to turn it into a smile.

What do you mean, Mace?

It's funny. For the first time,
I wonder if that's worth doing.

What do you mean, Mace?

Hey, boss. Everybody wants
to know where we're heading.

Are we moving on tonight?

- I don't know, Big John.
- You gotta tell them something, Mace.

Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you
all stay on my farm for a little while.

Sounds like you could
use a vacation.

A vacation?

Big John,

tell everybody
we're going on vacation.

There's a line here.

Come on, get out
of there, Lucille.

I love you, Daisy.

You help Zelda with her beard.

I love you. Good friend to Zelda.

It's like a zoo in there.

Heads up.

Morning, Mace.

Morning, Pee-wee.

Quite a place you've got here.

- I hope we're not putting you out.
- Putting me out?

Of course you're not putting me out.

Come over here
and give me a hand!

Well, everybody's fed
and watered except you.

Midge made a little
something for you.

Boy, I guess I better not go
swimming for an hour, huh?

That's Daisy.

These are the
Piccolapupula Brothers.

The greatest acrobats in the world.

Hey, over here!

You're a natural, Pee-wee.

Thanks, Mace.

Excuse me.

Come on, Pee-wee.
I want you to meet Gina.

Our star attraction.

Gina.

Hey, Gina. Come on down here.
I want you to meet somebody.

Hey. Are you OK?

Are you all right?

You OK?

We meet again, no?

No. I mean, yes. I, I, I...

- Well, hello.
- Hello.

Gina, Pee-wee. Pee-wee, Gina.

Nice to meet you.

I like it very much around here.
It's very beautiful.

So are you.

Thank you. You are so sweet.

I know you are, but what am I?

Pee-wee.

Say it, don't spray it!

Stop it.

Make me.

Stop it.

- My face hurts.
- It's killing me.

Pee-wee.

That's my name, Mace.
Don't wear it out.

Come on, Pee-wee.

Ciao, bella.

Oh, thank you.

Pee-wee.

Mamma mia.

Hey, looks like Zsa Zsa took a shine
to your pig, Pee-wee.

Help! Help!

Hey, Mace.

Watch your back.

Bombs away, Andy.

That looks like a fun job.

Being a human cannonball is more
than a job, Pee-wee. It's a career.

I'm on my way to a career
in agriculture.

I hope to be the next
George Washington Carver.

Do you know who George
Washington Carver was?

Yes, I do. The first president
of the United States.

No. He was a scientist.

His research as an agricultural
chemist revolutionized farming.

He was the father of the peanut.
He discovered over 300 uses for it.

Instant coffee, soap and ink,
to name just a few.

And don't forget he chopped down
that cherry tree.

Come on in, Mace.
I want to show you something.

Planty, huh, Mace?

What is all this?

The future.

The experiments I'm doing
here today will hopefully make

the world of tomorrow
a better place to live.

A world where no one will go hungry.

And people will live together
in peace.

A world full of giant cantaloupes, huh?

Amazing.

I'd like to show you something else,
Mace, but it's top-secret.

You have to give me your word
that this is just between you and me.

All right.

Then repeat after me.

I, Mace Montana,

I, Mace Montana,

do solemnly swear

do solemnly swear

that I will never tell anyone

that I'll never tell anyone

what I'm about to see.

- What I'm about to see.
- What I am about to see.

What I'm about to see.

I call this the hot-dog tree.

Because, well, it's a hot-dog tree.

See that space right there, Mace?

That's where my Nobel Prize
is gonna go.

I've never seen anything like it.

You've got ideas in here that nobody's
ever had before, Pee-wee.

Really big ideas.

- I need one of those.
- Help yourself, Mace.

Not a hot dog. I need an idea.
Something brand-new.

An idea so big and so new...

...it'll knock people
right off their feet.

And bring a spark back
to the Cabrini Circus.

I've got some thinking to do.

Thanks, Pee-wee.

Lunch with Winnie.

Gina!

Hi.

Thank you.

Thank you. No.

- Do you want to walk with us?
- May I?

Yes. Come on, Flora.

Steady, Flora.

Look, Pee-wee.

Miss! Miss!

- Miss!
- What will it be? The usual?

Miss, please, we're starving over here.

Excuse me.
We were here before them.

What do we have to do
to get served over here?

I'm gonna take a bite out of her
bazoo if she doesn't get over here now.

Down, Duke.
Don't work yourself into a lather.

Back still bothering you, Herman?

Well, long as I can still get around.

- Hey!
- He will not go to the doctor.

Come on, everyone,
let's get out of here.

Hey, stop that.

Well, pick them up, pick them up.

- We need some supplies.
- Oh, you do, do you?

Twenty-five pounds of oatmeal.

We don't have any oatmeal.

- Forty yards of twine.
- We're all out of twine.

Thirty cans of tomato soup.

We don't carry soup.

What's all that?

- Sorry, we're closed.
- Closed?

Come on. Get. Get.
Don't you people speak English?

Easy, Antonio. Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Well, how'd you make out?

What's the matter with you?

- Where's the stuff? What happened?
- What?

Looks like you boys got
the Welcome Wagon treatment too.

I don't believe this.

Che bella.

Don't bother, lady. They are closed.

Closed at 3:15?

Closed to us anyway.

Are you folks with the circus?

Lucky guess, cutie.

Looks like we got a regular
Einstein on our hands.

You shouldn't be so hard
to the beautiful lady, Midge.

- Oh, I'm sorry
- Si. Che bella.

I guess I shouldn't take it out
on you, honey.

Oh, that's OK.

Why don't you give me your
shopping list, and I'll go in for you.

Gee, that'd be swell.

- Come on, let's get out of sight.
- OK. All right.

Let's go wait in the alley
so they don't see us.

I'm so hungry.

Well, that ought to do it for today.
Thank you, Mr. Ryan.

My, what an appetite on that girl.

And such a bitsy figure.

It's like they all got up
on the wrong side of the bed.

Here she comes.

Oh, gee, thanks a million, honey.

Say, what's your name anyway,
cookie?

Oh, Winnie. Winnie Johnson.

Well, it's nice to meet you, Winnie.
I'm Midge Montana.

- And that's Zelda,
- Hello.

- Eddie,
- Hi.

Andy,

- Snowball, Clownie, Duke
- How do you do?

And the Piccolapupula Brothers.

- I'm Paolo.
- I'm Giancarlo.

- I'm Dino.
- I'm Antonio.

Well, it's very nice to meet
all of you, I'm sure.

Perhaps our paths will cross again.

We are staying at
Pee-wee Herman's farm.

You are? Well, what a coincidence.

I was just on my way
over to Pee-wee's.

He missed lunch today,

and I wanted to bring him
his egg-salad sandwich.

Our favorite.

Say, why don't you hop on board
and hitch a ride with us, girly-girl.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

Si.

Oh, my.

Ally-up!

- Ah, si. Good.
- Goodness, there's so many of you.

There's still one more Piccolapupula
to meet. Our sister, Gina.

Flora.

Pee-wee, look at those clouds.

Look. That one looks like
a camel lounging under a palm tree.

Can you see it?

Yeah. Yeah!

Let's see...

That one looks like

an automobile. Yeah?

Yeah, look, it's pulling
right into a gas station.

Yes.

What about that one?

What does it look like to you?

It looks like a man and a woman.

Kissing.

Pee-wee!

Winnie! Wait!

Who was that?

Who? Her? Oh.

She's my fiancée.

That was good.

Mind if I sit here?

No, not at all.

Gina, I have something to say.

Oh, really?

Hey, everybody. Listen.

Pee-wee has something
he'd like to say.

Please.

I'll tell everybody later.

Oh, this must be
the Piccolapupula table.

My mistake.

Women. Can't live with them,
can't live without them.

Tell me about it.

All right, everybody, listen up.

- I've got an announcement to make.
- What's up, Mace?

- Are we moving out?
- Are we packing it in?

You're not cutting the season
short, are you?

Quiet down, everybody.
Let him talk.

Go ahead, honeybunch.

We've been putting this show on
for a long time now.

Well, that's all over.

We're putting on a brand-new show!

- What kind of show?
- I'll tell you what kind of snow,

Showball. Snowball.

A show that'll stand
the world on its ear.

A show that'll make them
all stand up and cheer.

A show that will knock them
all down on their rear!

Quiet down, Snowball.
Mace is sincere.

That's right.
What I've got is a brand-new idea.

It came to me today
like a bolt of lightning.

We got Pee-wee Herman
to thank for the whole thing.

You're welcome, everybody.
What's the idea, Mace?

To put together a show with a theme.

There it was, right under my nose.

First thing tomorrow,
we start working on it.

The Cabrini Circus presents...

..."The American Farm"!

What do you think, boss?

Great, Nikko. Looking good, Birdie.

Could I try that, Mace?

It's not as easy as it looks, Pee-wee.
Let me think about it.

Hey, Mace, what do you think? It's a
little bit circus and a little bit farm.

Great, Ruby.
Don't be afraid to use gingham.

Leave it to me, Mace.

Mace! Mace, I'd look great in a
costume like this. Can you picture it?

No.

Hey, Mace.

I'm teaching them how
to square-dance.

That's the idea, Oscar.

Watch this, Mace.

Dosey-do and around and around
Dosey-do and around and around

- That's great, Pee-wee.
- Dosey-do and around and...

Mace.

Morning, Gina.

I had the most wonderful idea
about the new farm theme.

Hi, Gina.

But suddenly, I feel so sick to my
stomach that I can't even talk.

Can I talk to you
for a minute, Mace?

Sure thing, kid.

I...

...have this friend...

...who has a bit of a problem.

It wouldn't be a romantic problem,
would it?

As a matter of fact, Mace, it would.

You see, my friend was engaged to
this girl he thought he was in love with.

But then he met this other girl who,
it turned out, he really was in love with.

Look, Pee-wee, love's a crazy thing.

But when it hits you, you know it.

When I met Midge, I knew she was
the girl I wanted right away.

But everybody said it wouldn't work.

We knew it would

because we were following
our hearts.

I guess I'd tell this friend of
yours to do the same thing.

Follow his heart.

- Ain't that right, baby?
- You said it, honey pie.

Hello, Winnie.

I wasn't expecting you
for lunch today.

Yeah, I know,

but I wanted to talk
to you about yesterday.

I'm really sorry, Winnie.

Well, I must admit,
I was a little stunned.

But it had to happen sooner or later.

You're a man.

She's Italian.

You're taking this great. I thought
you'd never speak to me again.

Of course I'll speak to you,
but our engagement is off.

- Gee, Winnie.
- Of course, you're free to see

whoever you want.

Really? Well, if you think that's best.

I do, Pee-wee.

- Buongiorno, Winnie.
- Ciao.

Well, hello there, boys!

Oh, you'll have to excuse me.

My lunch dates have arrived.

Five egg-salad sandwiches, please.

How stupid can one person be?

Winnie certainly seemed broken up
about the whole thing.

"Excuse me, Pee-wee.
My lunch dates have arrived."

Well, it took four guys to replace you.

And what am I supposed to do about
Gina? She won't even talk to me.

You're lucky.
Zsa Zsa won't leave me alone.

You know, it's kind of ironic,
Pee-wee.

A couple of good-looking bachelors
like you and me

having so much girl trouble.

Gotta be some way
I can tell Gina how I feel.

You know what babes can't resist?

The romantic approach.

Here we go again.

Later, Pee-wee!

The romantic approach.

I can't believe this!

You have to go! Shut up! Shut up!

You have to shut up.
You understand English?

Shut up! Shut up!

Just shut up and get out of here!

Stupid song.

Please, Gina, I'm too young to die.

- You know what you are?
- I know how you feel.

I'll tell you what you are. You're the
lowest of the low. Even lower.

I know I deserve this, OK?

I'll tell you what you deserve,
Mr. Lover-Boy.

OK, look, Gina. I can't blame you if
you never speak to me again, OK?

You? Blame me?

It's so funny I forgot to laugh.

I should've told you about her,

but when I was with you,
I never even thought about her.

Oh, yeah? And what about today?

When you were with her,
you were thinking of me?

Yes, I was, Gina. I went to see Winnie
to break off our engagement. I...

What?

I lo...

What?

What are you saying?

I love you.

What's going on, Gina?

I promised Pee-wee
I'd help him find an act.

He wants to be in the circus
so badly, Mace.

Doesn't look like
he's found his niche yet.

No.

- Hey, you're falling for this kid.
- He makes me laugh.

If laughs were all you wanted,
you'd have fallen for Snowball.

Snowball is a clown, Mace.
Clowns aren't funny.

Pee-wee's not like
anyone I ever met.

Oh, my good Lord.
Look, Nadine.

It's Pee-wee Herman,
and he's covered with monkeys.

- Oh, Mr. Ryan! You naughty boy.
- What?

Oh, my gosh.
Don't look now, Mae,

but the biggest pig I've ever seen
is making friends with your bloomers.

Pee-wee?

Pee-wee?

Pee-wee, where are you?

Hootla, Daisy, hootla!

Hootla.

Good girl.

Pee-wee, I leave you alone
for a second, and look at you.

Pretty good, though, huh, Gina?
I taught Daisy how to sit.

OK, Pee-wee, do what I do.

I think I can manage
just spinning a rope.

It's all in the hips, Pee-wee.
It's all in the hips.

- Whoa, Pee-wee. Stay in one place.
- Che fai?

OK.

Stop it, Pee-wee. Stop that.

One, two, three.
Go, Pee-wee.

- Now what?
- Pee-wee, you're supposed to let go.

Sorry, Gina.

That's OK, Pee-wee.
We'll try something else. OK?

Yeah.

Ready when you are, Pee-wee.

- Wish me luck.
- Good luck.

Be careful.

- Go get them, champ.
- Ready!

- What's this all about, Andy?
- Watch.

Human oddities
from around the world.

Zelda the Bearded Lady, a tragic
victim of her own "hairmones".

Feast your eyes
on the magnificent Eddie.

She's big.
She's beautiful.

But don't get too close,
she's hungry.

Ruth and Dot,
the Siamese twins.

Never alone, chained for life,
they share everything.

Their pain, their pleasure,
their pelvis.

What you see before you now
is a hermaphrodite.

Half man, half woman.
Say hello to Shim.

The only creature on earth
who can legally marry "shimself".

Get out your magnifying glasses
to view Midge,

the tiniest woman in the world.

But please don't
touch the "midgendise".

That don't go for you, doll.

Don't I know that, baby.

Duke the Dog-Faced Boy.

Will he put his slippers on
or chew them up?

Trisha the Human Pretzel,
so fine, so flexible.

Thanks, Trish.

Judy the Mermaid.
Half beautiful woman, half flounder.

And finally,
a being which defies description.

That's really it, Gina.

I give up trying to be in the circus.

Don't try to talk me out of it.

Come in.

Sit down.

- What's this?
- Open it.

It belonged to a great man,
Pee-wee.

Papa Piccolapupula.

He was the greatest aerialist
that ever lived.

Until one day he performed
the spiral of death.

And...

Well, now he's the greatest aerialist
that ever died.

I'm sorry, Gina.

Buy why give this costume to me?
I don't deserve it.

No, when he gave me this,

he whispered in my ear,
and he said,

"One day,
my pretty little Piccolapupula,

"you're gonna give this
to the man that you love."

What's gonna happen to us,
Pee-wee?

Nothing's going to happen to us.
What do you mean?

I mean, I will be moving on.
That's what circuses do.

And when the circus will go,
I'll go with it.

I thought I'd be going with you.

Pee-wee, I couldn't let you do that.

You have a wonderful life here.
You have your work.

What could you have
in the circus?

You.

You're all I care about, Gina.

No, it wouldn't work.
I know.

You'd come to resent me
for taking you away from all this.

No, I wouldn't.

Hold me.

Good morning, Vance.

Morning, Pee-wee.

Beautiful day, huh?

It's okay.

My, we are certainly in a good mood
this morning.

That, my dear Vance,
is the understatement of the year.

Everything seems completely different
to me today.

The air smells so fresh.

The sky seems a brand-new
shade of blue.

I don't think I've ever noticed
the beauty of this leaf.

And, Vance, have you always been
so handsome?

What the...?

Who's my handsome little baby?

Who's my handsome little baby?

How are you today?

Hungry, eh?

Vance, come here!

- What happened?
- I don't know.

I must have made
some slight miscalculation.

Guess so.
Interesting.

Well, now we have cocktail wieners.

Wow, what a great act!

Aren't you going to congratulate
Winnie?

She probably wouldn't
wanna talk to me.

Congratulations.

- Hi, Pee-wee.
- Boy, that was really spectacular.

Oh, thanks, Pee-wee.
That means a lot to me.

Really? I'm glad you feel that way.

Well, I'm glad you feel that way.

Guess we both still really like
each other, huh?

I still like you, Pee-wee.

I still like you too.

Boy, what a day, huh?

Things sure worked out great
for both of us, huh?

Breaking up with you is the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

I never felt so alive
since we broke up.

I've never felt so free, so beautiful,
so sure of myself.

OK, Winnie, I get your point.

Friends?

Friends.

All right, everybody.
Listen up.

The brand-new Cabrini Circus
opens tonight.

Sheriff? Sheriff.

This is a great night
for the Cabrini Circus.

I want to thank every one of you
for working so hard to make it happen.

- Mace, Mace, Mace!
- People coming, Mace.

Looks like we got some customers.

Pee-wee Herman,
you're under arrest.

What?

I hope you can love a convict, Gina.

Just a minute here.
What are the charges, sheriff?

Defacing public property.

Permitting and/or propagating mingling
of wild and domesticated animals.

Getting groceries
under false pretenses.

- And attempted murder.
- Murder?

I know you sent that hippo
out to kill me.

Look, sheriff,
Pee-wee's not to blame.

Perhaps if we all just sit down
and talk about it for a moment,

- there's something we can do.
- There is something.

You can pack up this flea circus and
get out of town. Right now. And then,

well, maybe I can see my way clear
to dropping the charges.

- All right, we'll go.
- No!

- Good for you.
- All right, you heard the man.

Let's start packing.

Mace, you can't leave.
We didn't even get to put on the show.

We'll do the show somewhere else,
Pee-wee.

We can't let you end up in jail.
That's that.

I'll get them to change
their minds, Mace.

Somehow.

- Here's to Mr. Ryan and the sheriff.
- Yes.

For getting rid
of those circus people.

- Hip-hip-hooray!
- Hip-hip-hooray!

- Hip-hip-hooray!
- Hip-hip-hooray!

Wish me luck.

- Hello, everyone.
- What are you doing here?

I just came to join the party.
You were right all along.

From now on,
I'm going to be just like you.

Swell party.

Anyone care
for some hors d'oeuvres?

What you got there?

Cocktail wieners.
Don't mind if I do.

I'll have one too.

Help yourselves, everyone.

Those are the best wieners
I've ever tasted.

- Congratulations, Pee-wee.
- Thanks.

Congratulations to you too. Come on,
we better get out to the circus.

Circus?
Did you say circus?

Why, yes, I did.

I don't suppose any of you'd
like to come, would you?

- Me!
- Come on!

Join with us and march along

Sing our Big Top Barnyard Song

We're the Barnyard Circus
And we're down on the farm

We'll stay forever
You don't have to twist our arm

Join with us and march along

Sing our Big Top Barnyard Song

Everyone come on
And you can each take a bow

- And join the Barnyard Circus now
- Hey!

We all begin as kernels
Dropped into fertile ground

Add sun and rain, and we become
The best taste treat around

There's nothing like a circus
For when you're feeling down

Put on a wig, a funny nose
And turn into a clown

Peanuts!
Popcorn! Hot dogs!

Everybody's learning how

From the zebra to the cow

And now the elephant's
Perfected a "moo"

Each time the band strikes up
"Cock-a-doodle-doo"

Join with us and march along

Sing our Big Top Barnyard Song

Everyone come on
And you can each take a bow

- And join the Barnyard Circus now
- Hey!

Our lives are never boring
We're each of us unique

We're always meeting people
Who consider us quite chic

I sow the seeds and harvest
And that's the farmer's life

I cook and sew and clean and bake
'Cause I'm the farmer's wife

Don't be afraid
That you're too small

Here's where everybody's
Ten feet tall

Our strength is that
We all have heart

We're all so close
We'll never be apart

A needle in a haystack
Is very hard to find

And I'm so glad he took the time
'Cause he's so big and kind

I met this little woman
We had an awkward date

But when he got to know me
Well, he chose me for his mate

In this place we're singing of

Anyone can fall in love

When I first met this hippo
I was really quite rude

Now that we're together
I'm so glad I was pursued

Join with us and march along

Sing our Big Top Barnyard Song

They're a crazy combination
That we all know

But we're a Barnyard Circus Show

Each of us is lovestruck
It's plain as it can be

We all flipped over Winnie's
Egg-salad recipe

Each said he was the best one
Such choices I abhor

But when I made my mind up
I decided on all four

And if at times
Love gets too hard

Then start a circus
In your own back yard

With you, I want to harmonize

I feel the same
And now my big surprise

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Cabrini Circus proudly presents,

for the first time anywhere,

Pee-wee Herman!

Here's the way we quench our thirst
Quench our thirst, quench our thirst

Here's the way we quench our thirst

At the refreshment counter

Now's the time to yum, yum, yum
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum

Now's the time to yum, yum, yum

At the refreshment counter

Popcorn, drinks and candy too
Candy too, candy too

Popcorn, drinks and candy too

At the refreshment counter

At the refreshment counter