Beethoven (1992) - full transcript

- Hey, slow down, slow down.
- Okay, wheel it back up. Okay.

Here we go.
They're driving me crazy!

Don't go too fast.
Don't go too fast.

Ah, come on! Shh.

Ow!

What's the matter?

You threw
the cage on my foot!

I didn't do that.

Yes, you did. Ow.

I need puppies.

Okay. All right.
Come on.
Puppies.



Hi there. Oh, isn't that
the sweetest?

Come here. Hi.

He's cool.

I think he likes us.

Yeah.

Oh.
Ah.

What a cute guy.
Isn't he cute?

Oh.

Hi, puppy.

No, absolutely not.

Oh, how big is he gonna be?

Saint Bernards get to
be about 150 pounds.

I got a junkyard.
I need a big,
mean junkyard dog.

Let me see him.



Come here, puppy.

He looks
good and mean.

I don't know.
He's pretty sweet.

You can make
any dog mean.

Eww!

Damn little beast! God!

You got any pit bulls?

Come on.
It's a pushover.
I cased the place.

What about the cops?

What about
video surveillance?

You're crazy if
you're gonna walk up
just like this.

What about the alarm?

All you gotta do
is step over it.

I got you.
Okay, okay.

Look, I got you.
Okay. Okay.

There, you see?
In and out,
quiet as a mouse.

Let's get some dogs.

Come on, puppy.
We're just going
for a little car ride.

Oh, look,
it's a wee, little one, too.
Come here, you little puppy.

Here we go.

Come on, puppy.
Here, puppy, nice puppy.

I've stepped in the beam.

Here, puppy, nice puppy.

See, didn't I tell you?

Doesn't this beat
taking strays
off the street?

You are such a genius!

Get off!

Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm just
a little bit excited.

That's my
very first felony.

I've committed
a lot of misdemeanors,

but I do believe
that was my
very first felony.

Why are they barking?

They're dogs.

I know they're dogs.
Go in the back and check.

Okay, doggies,
what's the racket back...

Hey!

Okay, doggies,
back in your house.

Back in your house, doggie.
Here, doggie, nice doggie.

No, doggie. Don't jump.

Bad dog. Puppy.
Good puppy. Good...
Bad puppy, don't jump!

Good puppy.
Don't jump, puppy.

Come back. Stop the van!

Harv, what is it?

Why did you
want me to stop?
What's the matter?

Hurry, they're
getting away.

Hey, you, come back here!

Come here!
I'll give you a bone!
I'll give you a bone!

Come back here,
you little runt!

Come here, you!

Ah!

7:00 a.m.
Up and at 'em!

Mmm.
Ooh.

Oh, Ted, I'm sorry.

Mmm.

What's wrong?
Did you have
another nightmare?

Yeah.

Mom,
it's Saturday and it's 7:02.
Do we really have to get up?

Yep, you heard your father.

I know,
Daddy's rules.

That's it!
I'm not gonna
take it anymore.

Mom, I have a news flash
for you. It's Saturday!

Yeah, I know, honey.

This sucks!

Why do we have to get up
so early on a Saturday?

Ask your father.
Don't say "sucks."

The bathroom's mine!

Nyah, nyah,
nyah, nyah.

Shut up! Let me in.

Open up,
you little wimp!
Let me in!

Patience.

Mom! Let me in!

You have no
bladder control.

Wait till I
get my hands on you.
Let me in!

A puppy.

Hi.

Mmm.

Okay. All right,
guys, do you have to...

Mom, look,
I dreamt I had a puppy,
and it came true.

Honey.

Mmm.

I take back almost
everything I ever said

about you being
cold and insensitive.

Dad, I take back
anything I ever said
about you, too.

Dad, I have
everything I ever wanted.

I owe you big time.

Why?

Daddy, can we call him Fred?

Let me have him.
It's my turn.

No, it's my turn.

I saw him first!

I'm gonna have him
for five more minutes.

I saw him first.

We can't have a dog.
We can't have a dog.

Honey, you can't
show a child a puppy

and then take it away
two minutes later.

I didn't show a child a puppy.
It's obviously lost.

You occupy the kids.
I'll run it down
to the pound.

Oh, no. No way.

If the owner
doesn't claim it,
it'll be destroyed.

If we keep it,
the house will
be destroyed.

Honey, it's just a dog.
Millions of people
have dogs.

Oh, no.
Not people like me.

Dogs sniff.
They lick, they chew.
They drool, they scratch...

Alice, they have parasites.

Oh, God, yeah.

The kids'll lose interest.
I'll have to care for it.

It'll grow to be enormous.
It'll take over the yard.

The bushes will die.
The lawn will look terrible.

And when the dog finally
settles down, it'll die.

Everybody will be so upset,
we'll have to go
get another puppy.

The whole thing will
start all over again.

Do you understand?

No, honey.
Could you be
more specific?

Alice, I really could
use a little support here.

Okay, I'm sorry.
All right.

Hmm.

How should we handle this?

Go tell the kids.

Come over here.

Come on.

Come over here.

He loves me the most.
Oh...

Hi, kids.
Hi, Dad.

Daddy,
can he sleep
in my room?

No, he's sleeping
in my room.

Dream on. I'm the oldest.
He's sleeping in my room.

He's not sleeping
in anyone's room.

Now,
just listen to me a minute.

We are "people" people here.
We are "goldfish" people.

Uh, we're "ant farm" people.

We're not "dog" people.

Dad, why can't you
just give us a chance?

You're always saying
that we have to
have responsibility.

I know.
That's true.

It's my decision.
I mean, I've decided.

I knew it.

You'd better think of
something to name him.

Because when I come home
and he destroys my house,

I wanna know
what to call him!

Thank you, Dad.

This is temporary.
This is just...

This is just temporary
until we find the owner.

Okay,
the dog's name
will be...

What is it?

What's his name
gonna be?

- You can't change it.
- That's the rules.

Okay. Emily?

Did you do your name
in a crayon, honey?
All right.

Well,
I don't think
words for parts

of the body make
very good names, honey.

But he's got one of those.
I looked.

I'm sure he does,
but I don't think
that Daddy

wants to stand on
the front porch at night
yelling that out.

But that's what you
call Uncle Richard.

Okay,
the dog's name will be...

You asked for my input.

What?

Nothing. Let's just
call the dog Rover.

Mom, please.
Come on, M.C. Hammer.
Ultimate Warrior.

M.C. Hammer.

M.C. Hammer?
No, no, no, no, Rover.

He doesn't like
any of those names.

Oh, right. Like you
can really read his mind.

Ryce.

Emily,
honey, what does the dog
want his name to be?

You know, this is ridiculous.
It's a dog.
He doesn't have preferences.

You could call
him Ding-Dong Head.

He wouldn't know
the difference.

Yes, he would!

He'll tell us what
he wants to be called.

Beethoven.

Roll over.
Come on, boy. Roll over.

You!

No, no, no, no!
No, no, no!

If this
business is gonna grow,
we need more money.

They're talking about 25.
I said, "That's not
gonna do me any good."

They said, "No?"
I said, "No."

I mean, if this
thing is gonna take off,

I need some capital,
not a Band-Aid.

They said,
"So what kind of figures
are we talking about?"

I said, "Well, you know,
150 sounds like a good
neighborhood to me."

Did you really
say that?

Yeah. I mean,
you know, this is a business.
What am I gonna do with 25?

Advertising,
you know, maybe some signs,
but I'm optimistic.

Ted, get down here!

Where's my shoe?

I don't know,
honey, just backtrack.

Mom, please?

Look behind
the bathroom door.

I caught that look
on their faces...

Daddy?

What?

He wants you to
scratch his head.

You know, I don't
wanna scratch his head.

Back off, back off!

But he wants you to.

Honey, sometimes
we don't get
what we want.

That's not
the way the world works.

If I don't get this deal,
I'll kill myself!

Honey, come on.
Don't talk like that
in front of the kids.

You know,
if I can just get them
to smell the stuff,

because air fresheners are
such a visceral product...

Hey, Dad,
I got a great idea.

What?

Oh, hey,
can I have
karate lessons?

You know,
I didn't get any bacon.

What do you want
karate lessons for?

Brenda Feinberg,
she's littler than me,
and she's got a green belt.

Why don't we just
skip the lessons
and get you the belt?

No! Come on!

He slimed me!
He slobbed!
Look at this!

Don't worry about it.

I've got dog drool
on my pants.

I can't meet with
Vanguard Capital with
dog drool on my pants.

Honey, why don't you
just change your pants?

I'm gonna change
my pants, Alice.

But I had
a schedule and
now it's gone.

I'll never have
that schedule again.

Just change
your pants, George.

I'm gonna change
my pants, Alice.

But if I change my pants,
I gotta change my jacket.

If I change my jacket,
I gotta change my shirt.

If I change my shirt,
I gotta change my tie.

I have to change my belt,
I've gotta change my shoes,

I've gotta change my socks.

Just change
your pants, George.

I don't need you to
drool all over me,
for God's sakes.

Come on, you're so smart.
What am I telling you about?

Listen to me talking.

Bye, honey.
Ooh.

Sorry. Good luck.

A little Kleenex
or something.

Hi, puppy.

Thirsty, huh?

Easy, buddy.
Save some for the fishes.

Look at Tom.
He's wide open. Shoot it.
Shoot it, man.

Put it up. Put it up.

This guy's all over me.

Shoot it.

Yeah.

- All right, that's it.
- Hit the showers.

Lonnie and Logan, give me 10.
Let's go, hustle. Hustle.

Hi, Mark.

You're sweaty.
You like it?

Air fresheners are
the 12th fastest-growing area
in all of household hygiene.

Fascinating.

See, all of these
use a two-dip process

that guarantees
a longer smell life.

Here, smell this.

That smell nice?
Nice smell?
Mmm.

See, we feel if we get
the right amount of capital,

we can take this
place right to the top.

I don't just mean successful.
I mean dominant.

Here's a favorite.
Here's a favorite.
Look at this.

New leather.
Isn't that cute?
Oh, that's cute.

I could use that
in my beemer.

I could use it
in my beemer.

We feel a lot of
people could use them
in their beemers.

Except I
wouldn't want to hang it

from my rear-view mirror.
Ew. Tacky.

Oh, no, no, no.
There's Velcro
on the back.

People hide them.
A lot of people

just put it under
their dashboard.

Ingenious.
Bravo, Newton. Kudos.

Thank you.

Let's get Ted.

Hey.

Hey, Teddy boy.
Oh, that's a nice lunch
you got there.

A veritable
nutrition lesson.

Oh, yeah.

And, uh,
don't forget to wash it down
with a big glass of milk.

Oh, man.

See you on the bus.

Hi. Miss Simpkins
made me stay after.

Want a Twinkie?

Hold on a minute.

Good boy.

See over there?

That's Donna Ditsworth.

She's the most popular girl
in the whole school.

Her hair is perfect.
Her teeth are perfect.

Even Mark
thinks she's perfect.

Beethoven!

Hey, check out Fido.

What a cool-looking dog.

I bet you
wanna play fetch.

Come on,
you gotta give me the stick
if you want me to throw it.

Hey, where we going?

Cool dog.
Cool dog.

Is he yours?

What's his name?

Beethoven.

Wow. Hi, Beethoven.

Hey, Beethoven.

- Cool dog.
- Good boy.

Well, see you later, Ryce.

Yes! He knows my name.

He knows my name.

No question
about it, George.

You've built yourself
something pretty
impressive here.

Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.

That mean
you're interested?

Absolutely.

We've smelt a lot
of stuff, Georgio.

But I think I speak for myself
as well as the Brie Meister
when I say

yours smells the best.

That's great.
Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot.

George, we're gonna
crunch some numbers.

And, uh,
maybe we can get together
later this week.

That would be great.
Thank you.
Okay.

We're looking
forward to it.

I'll get it.

Thank you.
Ciao.

Ciao, George.
Ciao, bello.

Ciao, bello.

Ciao!

Ciao.

Ciao.

How you doing, Theodore?

Nice backpack, Teddy.

Can I see it?

Oh!

What's...

Sorry!
Ooh.

Why do you guys
always pick on me?

'Cause you're
a little four-eyed dork.

Give those back!

Ooh.

They're mine.
Give them back!

Ooh.

Where you going, Teddy?
Yeah, let's go.

Wait up, Theodore.
We wanna walk you home.

What are you,
a chicken?

Oh, come on.
Scaredy-cat.

Scared?
Come on, fight me.

Now he can't even see.

Blind as a bat.

What's going on here?

He looks mean.

Yeah.

Give him the glasses.

Sorry. Sorry.

And don't come back!

I know it doesn't mean
that he likes me,

but he's gotta like me
better than before
he said my name.

You think he could
like me, Beethoven?

I know you like me.

Good night, sweetheart.

You, out!

Good night, Beethoven.

Good night, honey.
Good night, Dad.

Mark.

All right.
You, in here.
In here.

You sleep in here.
I sleep there. You...

Oh.

See, that's very nice.
That's very nice.

That's progress.
I appreciate that.
Good night.

Good night.

Honey, you know,

ever since you started
looking for investors,
you just seem...

Well, hey,
you wanted us to expand.

Well, I want you
to be happy.

Yeah, you even said
you'd come back to work.

I said I'd give you
one wish for your birthday.

Well, I wish you'd
come back to work.

George, there's other things
that are important.

I like being home
when the kids get
home from school.

I don't want them
to come home
to some stranger.

We'll get
a great baby-sitter.

We'll get
somebody really reliable
that the kids will just love.

...in the third such
occurrence this month.

In the past year
we've seen a 500% increase

in the reported
incidents of stolen pets.

Police believe
an animal kidnapping ring
is at work.

That's News Break.
And now back to The Wolfman.

Did you hear something?
No.

No, I heard
something downstairs.

You were right.
The TV was on.

I don't know.
I hope I'm doing
the right thing.

I mean, it feels like
a good idea to expand

but I don't want to do it
at everybody's expense.

We have to get
somebody wonderful
to take care of the kids.

There's no
question about that.

Sometimes it's hard to know
what the right thing is.

Boy, no matter how
many showers I take,

I still smell
Beethoven all over me.

Are you okay?
You're so quiet.

You're not mad at me,
are you?

Aw...

Oh, baby.

Oh, baby,
it's not even
Saturday night.

Oh, Alice,
you drive me crazy.

Oh.

Has Daddy's little girl
been naughty tonight?

George?

Who are you talking to?

How dare you?
Are you crazy?

Did you think
you were gonna
get away with it?

Oh!

That's how you do it.

I'll put a stop to that.

You've ruined my life.

You've ruined my furniture.
You've ruined my clothes.

My family likes you
more than they like me.

Why? All you do is
drool and shed and eat.

You're never getting
out of there again.
Never.

Do we understand
each other?

Do we...

Ah...

Hey, little buddy.
How you doing?

Thank you. Good work.

Vernon.

Come on, Harvey.

Can I tell you something?
What?

I really don't like it
when you tease the dogs.

What are you,
some kind of animal lover?

We've developed
a new type of ammunition.

It explodes on contact.

We'd like you to use
this revolver for the tests.

We want to know
the extent of the damage
at close range.

You want to know
how messy it is.

I presume you can get
dogs with big skulls
for the tests.

Newfoundlands, Great Danes,
Saint Bernards.

Large dogs are
difficult to come by,
harder to manage.

I'm sure we'll be
able to handle it.

Mr. Newton?
Yes.

I'm Dr. Varnick.
This must be Beethoven.

Mmm-hmm.
- Oh...

He's a magnificent animal.
Magnificent.

Magnificent. Ah...

In for his shots?

That's right.

Well, he'll be
a little groggy this evening.

That'll be nice.

Perhaps you should
leave him overnight
for observation.

I'd be happy to.
Dad.

It's just a shot.
He'll be okay.

Yeah, come on, Dad,
let's take him home.

He's scared and he
wants to go home.

Uh, Mr. Newton,

I wonder if I might
have a word
with you privately.

Sure.

Good dog.

Maggie, take good care
of these nice people.

Dad, they aren't
gonna hurt Beethoven,
are they?

Honey,
nothing could hurt
Beethoven.

Please, sit down.

Mr. Newton,
have you, uh...

Have you noticed
anything strange
about your dog lately?

You know, I mean,
he's destroyed my life.

I wish I was kidding.

That's very funny.

Saint Bernards have
been heavily over-bred.

There's been
quite a bit written

about certain
behavioral problems
with the breed.

What kind of problems?

Well, I don't know
how to tell you this,

but I've had to
put down several
of these animals

over the past six months.

They have
a tendency to turn on people,
attack without provocation.

Now, I only mention this
because you have children.

Good boy! Good boy!

George, come on.
Beethoven isn't even
remotely dangerous.

He'd never hurt the kids.
He might take
a bite out of you, though.

First snarl,
first any kind of weirdness
and he's gone.

Weirdness? What
should I watch for, honey,

his wearing my clothes
around the house?

He's crazy!

Good boy! Good boy!

You guys are
gonna love Devonia.

Mom, I don't need
a baby-sitter.

How come you gotta
go back to work, anyway?

Come on,
there's no point
in any of us

going into this
with a bad attitude.

Hi, there, you little cutie.

Don't you worry about a thing.
We're gonna get along great.
Right, kids?

Okay, you guys,
I'll be back before dinner,
so it's not that long.

Oh, we're gonna do
a lot of neat stuff.

I was hoping we could
sing a little tune together.
You guys like music?

What kind of music?

How about Herb Alpert
and the Tijuana Brass?

Oh, sorry.

I am a nut
for the disco beat.

Hmm-mmm.

Okay, kids, be good.

You've had some
time to think and...

And we made
our decision.

We wanna get in bed
with Newton Auto
Air Fresheners.

Excellent. That's great.
That's just great.

Thank you very much.
That's great.
As quickly as possible.

We can meet with
our lawyers today

and have the papers
drawn up this afternoon.

Oh, great.
That's excellent.
Excellent.

Let us take you
out to dinner. Huh?

Are there any good
restaurants in this burg?

Ah...
Restaurants.
Uh, what?

Why don't you just
come over to our house?
We can barbecue.

Come to our house.
We'll barbecue.

Barbecue?

Let's live dangerously.

Well,
our food may not be great,
but it's not dangerous.

I hope it's better
than this espresso.

Help!

Help, somebody!

I love you, too.

Thanks, Beethoven.
You saved my life.

But you'd better go home now.
Mom said to stay
in the backyard.

You kids might be
interested to know that
I am a featured performer

Saturday nights at
the Padded Zebra.

Oh, my gosh.
Emily's in the pool!

The pool?

Emily!

What are you
doing in the pool?

You're going to get out
of there this instant.

You want to get
me into trouble?

Emily, are you all right?

I fell in.

Oh, Emily,
you must've been
so scared.

I thought
I was gonna die.

Oh, you poor little thing.

Now, you were never
in any real danger,
now, were you?

Now, we don't want
you to get into trouble,

so we'll let this
be our little secret.

I'd like to call
my mother, please.

Your mother?

Immediately.

She must've snuck out
while I was
watching Ted and Ryce.

It was hot out, so I guess
she wanted to
take a little swim.

And where were you
while all this
was happening?

I was where I
was supposed to be,
inside watching the other two.

If Emily had
stayed where I put her,

none of this
would've happened.

If you ask me,
what these children need
is a little discipline.

What these children
need is their mother.

You're fired.

Honey, it was an accident.

So what?

You can't throw out
the option of having

a baby-sitter just
because we had a bad one.

We'll find somebody
really responsible
to look after the kids.

Over my dead body.

Come on.

You know,
we're fine on our own.

You don't have
to entertain us.

Do you have any kids?

We have a career.

Big one.

Excuse us.

Brats.
Monsters.

If we pull this off,

in six months we will own
Newton Auto Air Fresheners.

Touch it.

Mmm.

Sorry for the delay.

- We...
- No problem.

Vegetables.
Here you go.
Oh, look at that.

Here's the
paperwork, Georgio.

I've got
my own chair, honey.

Uh.

Look at that.

You gonna do
that now, honey?

Alicia.

Alice.
It's Alice.

I'm sorry. Alice.
Could I have
a refill, please?

Sure.

Thank you.

Just right down at
the bottom there, George.

This is everything
we've discussed?

Oh, yeah, it's exactly...

Right there at the bottom,
you can sign, George.

Exactly the same.

Hon, don't sign that now.

Why don't we have
a little something to eat
and then...

Alice, tell me
about your dog.

Oh, gee, no.

Well, he's a dog.

Oh. He sure is.
Hello, cutesy-ootsy.

He's a Saint Bernard.

He's a purebred
Saint Bernard, isn't he?

Hello. Oh,
look at that big old tongue
you've got. Yes.

Look at that.
Come here. Oh, yeah.

You wanna come
with Mommy and Daddy?
Yes, you do, don't you?

Oh, come on.
We'll come to
Mommy and Daddy.

Come on. Come on.

Oh, I just love
these big, dumb animals.

I bet you do.

Dogs obey so much better
than children, don't they?

Come here.
Oh, hello,
cutesy-ootsy-oogy.

Oh, mama just loves
this great big
doggie-woggie. Yes!

Georgio, the places
for you to sign, yeah,

are marked by that
blue clip right there.

This is all
standard stuff, huh?

Honey, you sure you wanna
"signee-wignee" right now?

I mean,
maybe we can...

Oh.

Alice, I'm sorry.

I've got that. You be careful.
I don't want you
to break a nail.

So sorry.
Be careful.

Right down there
where the blue arrow is.
Right there, George.

Honey, you sit.
I've got this.

You guys don't
seem to have made
a good impression.

I'm crushed.
Me, too.

I'll cry all night.

I know. I know.
I don't like them,
either.

But these people
are real important
to Dad's business.

I hope Beethoven
slimes that lady's dress.

But, of course,
if you don't
want our capital,

we could find
another investment
somewhere else.

Sure.

No, no, no.

Beethoven, come on.
Down, down.

Georgio,
is there some problem?

No, no.
Did I miss anything?

No, no.
Georgio has just
gone over all the papers

and he's about to sign.

Just standard stuff, really.
It's just the...

Hey,
get out of here,
you mutt.

I pitched in college.

Beethoven, stop!

Bad dog!

Sit! Stop! Stay!

Oh, no!

Beethoven!

I really don't
like our dog.

I really don't like
those people, George.

I don't trust them.

I don't want their money.

I know my opinion
doesn't matter,

but I'm not
interested in expanding.

If I had been home
instead of helping you
impress those morons,

Emily wouldn't have
fallen in the pool.

And I'm not re-entering
the workforce, George.

You're gonna have to
do this on your own.

And you will.
Somehow you'll
make your fortune.

And tucked away behind you,
deep in the shadows,

will be me and the kids.

That's how you see me.
Suddenly I'm a lousy
husband and father.

You know,
everything was just fine

until Beethoven
came into our lives.

I've tried to be patient,
but I've had it.

The dog has to go.

I'm proud of Beethoven.

Those two idiots
insulted your kids,
they treated me like dirt.

And he was the only one of us
who had the nerve

to give them
the ride they deserved.

I'm going to bed.

My dream's
going down the drain

and you're
worried about a dog.

Your family's
going down the drain

and you're
worried about a dream.

Oh.

Why do we
gotta be so quiet?

You're a big boy.

Sit down.

We made you
breakfast, Dad.

Scrambled eggs just
the way you like them.

I fed Beethoven.

And we
washed him, too.

You should smell him.

I'm gonna walk
Beethoven every day.

We've divided up
the dog chores,

so that you won't
have to do anything
for Beethoven from now on.

I see.

Is there
anything else you need?
Anything else at all?

No, thank you.
I'm fine.

I dropped part of
an eggshell in there.

Chew carefully, Dad.

Okay, okay, fine.
Great, Ryce.

I'm gonna get that
thing right there. Okay?

That leaf's mine.
I get the next one.

Okay, fine.
Get that question box.

Be careful
with that thing, guys.
Give me five.

Shake.

Ah.

Ah, Mrs. Newton.

Yes.
I'm Dr. Varnick,
the veterinarian.

I'm sorry to trouble you,
but I wonder if
I might come in?

Well, sure.
Yeah, come on in.

With animals
as large as yours,

I like to do
a follow-up on rabies shots
just to see how he's doing.

I tell you,
it's really nice of you
to come all the way down here.

No trouble at all.

Here you go.

Thank you.
I'll only be a moment.

Would you like
a lemonade or anything?

Oh, no.
No, no. I'll be fine.
Thank you.

All right.

Now, Beethoven,
how are you doing, eh?

Looking good.
Looking good.

Beethoven,
this is gonna hurt you
a lot more than it hurts me.

But it's a great
benefit to mankind.

Put some of this here.

I'm gonna
get all those bones.

No, I get some.

You get the next one.

Okay, that'll do you.

All right now.

Ah...

No!

Emily, what's the matter?
What's going on?

Come on,
you big stupid mutt.

Help! Help!

George! Oh, my God.

Help, somebody! Help!

Good boy. Good boy.

Beethoven! Beethoven!

- No!
- Get off him.

Beethoven!

Beethoven.
Oh, my gosh, Beethoven!
Stay there.

Why'd he do that?

Oh, my gosh,
look what he did.

Are you all right?

Well, I don't know.

What happened?
So sorry.

He just lunged at me.

That's not true. I saw you.
You hit Beethoven.

Emily, please.

Why would I hit Beethoven?
I patted him on the head.

It's possible
that from a distance
the little child...

Liar!

Emily! Emily!

I'm sorry.
Everything's all right.

It's perfectly natural
the child would want
to defend her dog.

Let's call an ambulance.

No, no, no.
I'll take care of it.

I'll
take care of this myself.

I'm terribly sorry. I mean,
he's never done
anything like this before.

Once an animal
crosses the line and
attacks a human being,

you can rest assured
he'll do it again.

Of course, next time
it could be one
of your children.

I'm very, very sorry.
Let me help.

Mr. Newton,
we have a real
problem here.

The law is very clear
when it comes to dealing
with this kind of thing.

Unless you bring the animal
to my office immediately,

I'm afraid I'll be
forced to press charges.

Mmm.

I'm so sorry.

I don't want anything
to happen to Beethoven.

Dad won't believe me
'cause he hates Beethoven.

He's always
hated Beethoven.

Dad has Beethoven.

Wait, wait!

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Daddy!

Wait!

Wait!

My dad had to take our dog
to the vet to be put down.

I hated him for it.

Now I'm doing it myself.

I know you won't believe me,
but I don't wanna do this.

You understand.

It's not your fault.

Mr. Newton.

Dr. Varnick.

Uh...

I know that you're
doing the right thing.

I hope so.

Follow me.

Come on. Come on.

How's your arm?

Oh, it's fine. Fine.

Thirty-seven stitches.

I'm so sorry.

Do you want
the collar and tags?

Some people like
to keep them.

Yeah.

Do you mind?
I have the bad wing.

Come here.
Come here. Come here.

I'm sorry.

You were my dog, too.

Sad state of affairs.

Sad state of affairs.
Come on, boy. Come on.

Come on, boy.

In you go.
There you go.

All right. Magnificent.

George Newton.

Yeah, look, we're
gonna have to charge you
for a day's boarding

because Jimmy,
who handles the lethal
injections and disposals,

he doesn't work today,
so we're gonna have to
hold the dog overnight.

So, should we bill you?

Dog killer.

Nice dog, huh, Doc?

He's perfect for
the animal experiment.

Get everything ready.
I'll be by in the morning.

We'll do the test
on him first thing.

All right.

Nice doggie, good doggie.

Okay, close the door.
Close the door.

I've got him. Come on!

Good doggie.
Come here, doggie. Come on!

Okay, I got him.
Good, good.

I got him.
Come on, doggie.

Not you! The dog! Not you!

Put him in.
Put him in.
Okay, you got him?

In the cage. Get in.

Shut up!

There.

Doc will work on him
first thing in the morning,

and then he's
one dead puppy.

Can we eat?

Yeah. You hungry?
Yeah. I'm hungry.

What do you feel like?

A chef's salad.

Did I do
the wrong thing?

I don't know, honey.

Beethoven made
this house real.

He put the dents in it.

I know he slobbered
and he smelled bad,
but he loved us.

Even you.

I just hope your
motives were pure,

and you did this
just for
the safety of the kids.

Because I really hate
to think that we sold
Beethoven down the river

for a piece of carpet
or a chance to sell
more air freshener.

Oh, come on. It had
nothing to do with carpet
or air freshener.

You saw what he
did to the vet.

I know.
Don't even say that.

Yes, but we don't know
why he did it.

Maybe the vet
didn't hit him,

but maybe he handled him
too rough or something.

George, Emily's
really sticking to this.

Have we ever known
her to attack an adult
and accuse them of lying?

No, but why would a vet
say something like that?

Well, instead of
listening to some guy

we've met only
twice in our lives,

maybe we should try listening
to our own child.

Honey, please,
something doesn't
make sense.

Can't we just go down there
and talk to him?

What do you
want me to do?

"Uh, Dr. Varnick,
are you sure you didn't
hit our dog?"

"Oh, yes, Mr. Newton,
I just remembered,
I did hit your dog."

Come on.
You come on, George.

Please, it would
make me feel better.
Let's just go.

I'm coming with you.

So am I.

We're all
going with you.

I'm terribly sorry.

We want our dog back!
Where's Beethoven?

All right, kids,
let Daddy handle this.

Mr. Newton,
what can I do for you?

We want our dog back!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

It's too late.
The dog's been destroyed.

No!
Dad?

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

I was told this
wouldn't happen
until tomorrow.

I don't believe you.

Come on.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Take your hands off her.
What are you...

I told you he was lying.

What the hell are
you trying to pull?

Wait, you can't come in here.
This is private property.

Beethoven?

He's not here.
All right,
hold it right there.

No, he's here.

You have no
right to be in here.
Out, all of you.

Where's my dog?

I don't have to
answer your questions.

You ordered
that dog destroyed,
and it was done. Now get out.

You hit me,
I'll have you put in jail
for assault and battery.

Whoa, Dad.

Honey.

That was amazing.

Dad, you were awesome.

You were really cool.

Really, honey,
I never found you
more attractive.

I may need an x-ray.

He said our dog
bit him on the arm.

But he didn't
really bite him.
Tell him that.

There were no
bite marks on his arm!

"So what?"
What do you mean,
"So what"?

You know, I'd like to
file a report on you!

What, they're not
going to help us?

Not this year.

Shh, Dad, Dr. Varnick.
Look.

Let's follow him.
Maybe he'll
lead us to Beethoven.

Hold your door.
Hold your door.

Shut it.

Dad, haven't you
ever followed anyone?

Turn off your lights.

I think that's
the last of it.

All right, good.
Better start getting
the dogs.

The dogs?

Yeah.
He said we gotta destroy
all the evidence.

I'm gonna check this out.

It's 9:30. If I'm not
back in 15 minutes,
call the police.

Don't come in after me.

Before you
destroy the dogs,

bring me the Saint Bernard
for the ammo test.

Okay.

And bring me a little one
for this chemical test.

Sure. I know just the one.

Hurry up.

Latch.

Congratulations.
You're gonna be a pioneer.

Like Davy Crockett,
right?

Right.

Good doggie!
Good doggie! Good doggie!

Oh, no! No, no!

I'm saving you.
I'm saving you.

He pushed me on the ground,
and I couldn't get up.

Emily, come on.
Here, Ryce, take her.

Lock the doors.
If I'm not back in 15...

I'll be back, all right?

Lock the doors, you guys.
Lock that one and that one.

Nice doggie.

We're gonna have
a little field test
with this new ammo.

So long.

You're a very foolish man,
Mr. Newton.

You should've left
well enough alone.

That was a gun!

Daddy!

Mom, get over here!

There's no time.

I don't know where.
It's a big thing,
a warehouse!

- Buckle up.
- You can't drive.

You don't even
have a driver's license.

We're going in.

What are you doing?

I don't know. It's a...

Ted! Ted!

Yoo-hoo!

Cool.
Dad!

Oh.

Dad! Dad!

My babies!
Are you all right?
Are you all right?

Beethoven!
Beethoven!

I love this dog.
What a good doggie.

George!

George! Oh, my God!

Be careful!

Is everyone alive?

Where were you?

I was shopping, George!
I called the police.

I jumped through that thing.
I fell on the guys.
I knocked the guys.

What? You're kidding?

You let Ted drive!

I didn't let him!
Don't yell at me!

I'm not yelling.

- I'm sorry.
- I love you, too.

You're free.

You can go home.

You're free.
You're free.

Go, go.

Sick 'em, boys.

Help! Get out of my way!

Oh, my God!

Out of my way!

Come on, Harvey.
Over the fence.

You thought you could get me,
you feebleminded mongrels!

Stupid, stupid doggies!

Never! You'll never get me!

Never!

Stupid, stupid doggies.

Stupid, stupid doggies!

Stupid, stupid...

You little mangy thing.

And you and you,
you little one.

Never! Never!
You little mangy...

What?

The final chapter
of a horror story
for animal lovers

concluded at
County Courthouse today.
Ruth Walters has the details.

Animal lovers
everywhere cheered today...

It's us.

...when Dr. Herman Varnick
and two associates

were indicted on 123 counts
of animal abuse.

These were
scientific investigations!

And leading the cheers

were the ring's
unlikely captors,

the Newton family
of Valley Vista.

You know, I had no choice
but to do what I did,
you know.

Beethoven is not just
some dog that wandered
in off the street.

He's a member of our family
and we love him very much.

Have you always
been a dog lover?

Uh...

Maybe
not as much as now.

Thank you.

This is Ruth Walters reporting
from County Courthouse.

Okay, guys.
Let's go to bed.

Oh...

Do we have to?

It's been a long day.

Man.

You look beautiful.

Good night, Daddy,
you're the best.

Good night, honey.

Good night, Dad.
I love you.

Good night, sweetheart.

Say good night to Daddy.

Can I stay up?

You are up.

Go to sleep.

Hello? Yeah.

Oh, yeah.
Hold on one second.

Ryce? Who's calling?

Ryce.

Don't stay on too long.

Okay.

Dad, who is it?

Uh, somebody who
saw you on TV.
Mark something.

Mark.

Hello?

Yeah.

No.

Really? Friday?

Good night, honey.

Good night.

Sleep tight.

Good night, Beethoven.

Good night, Sparky.

Good night, Mitch.

Good night, Murphy.

Good night, Sally.

Good night, Lacey.

Good night, Fred.

Good night, Al.

Good night, Eliot.