Bedroom Story (2020) - full transcript
A long-married couple hits a rough patch.
- Hmm.
To 15 years.
- To 15 years.
- Wow.
Hey.
- Yeah?
- I want to try something.
I want to try to say something new
that I haven't already told
you in the last 15 years.
- Okay, I'll do the same.
- I like the way you think.
Your opinion is always the
only one I really care about.
- My mom told me she finally
realized what she needs from a man.
She needs to feel like
he thinks she's special.
That's how you make me feel.
- And you are special.
- No, but
you make me feel like I am.
Look at this.
- You know what I've observed about you
over all the years we've been together?
It seems like the two things
that make you happiest
are when I tell you I'm baking something.
- This cake is unbelievable, yeah.
- And when I ask you if
you want to have sex.
- Well yeah.
- Maybe that's what all men want
most from their wives,
you know, food and sex.
It's like their two most basic
physiological needs being
met by their partner.
But there's gotta be something else.
What about recognition and praise?
That's gotta be high on everyone's list.
- Hmm.
- Okay, here's a question.
Which would you rather, a blowjob
or I give you compliments
for five minutes straight?
- A blowjob.
I like when you give me compliments but-
- I know, a hand job.
That way I can tell you how
great you are at the same time.
- Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
You see how your brain
works? Should we try that?
This one's already folded.
- It's weird that everyone dies.
It's the most dramatic, suspenseful
premise ever and it's
not a movie, you know?
You, that is you, are going to die
one day and you don't know when or how.
- Wait, why are you singling me out?
Are you anticipating it, or?
- No, it's just invigorating.
I am going to die.
It's terrifying, or a relief.
Katie Couric
is going to die.
- Yes.
Yes she is.
But the question is-
- How much time do you left?
A short amount, long amount?
- Yeah, that and what do you
do with the time that you have?
- Are you spending it the way
you should, the way you want to?
- Did you write today?
- No.
- You should just write
something new, just anything.
- I will, I'm going to.
- Kim, your book is great.
I mean that's the success,
just having created
something that's great.
People are going to discover
it over time, they will.
It'll be read.
- Thank you.
Totally absorbed,
I didn't even notice time going by.
Well that's what
they say happiness is, right?
Absorption.
It's an incredible debut.
This novel reminded me of what
it was like to be a child.
- Cultivating relationships
on social media eats up hours every day.
Reading other people's feeds and coming up
with interesting responses
that are actually worth reading
and everyone acts like they're
just hanging out, you know?
But really everyone is selling something.
I don't
know what to tell you.
If you think you can
put out a book without
promoting it on social
media, well, it's naive.
The future is digital,
that's all, end of story.
- I'll keep at it.
How many
followers do you have on Twitter?
- About 300.
My 15
year old daughter has 45,000.
- I know, her tweets are really good.
Look,
we're abandoning our business model.
Instead of authors, we're now
going to pursue creators
of digital content.
- Okay.
So I
can't represent you anymore
but you're a good writer,
it's just the novel is dead.
Publishing is dead.
- I think there's always going
to be people who want to read novels.
It's not profitable
except for a few authors at the very top.
- Supposedly book sales
are higher than ever.
People are reading eBooks.
Well
they're not buying your book.
I'm sorry, none of our
clients' books are doing
great right now, that's why
we're changing direction.
- Okay.
Well, I appreciate everything
you've done for me and my book.
Thank
you, let's keep in touch.
- Okay,
bye.
- I'm sure you'll be able
to get another agent when
your next book is done.
- It's exciting that you and
Alex were in the trades today.
I can't believe the show is gonna go.
- Yeah I know, I can't
believe it either, it's crazy.
- You're finally gonna be
running your own TV show.
You've worked so hard.
- Yeah, if we can just make this a hit,
then we can get one of
our own pilots made.
- Yeah.
- The hours are gonna
be long though and we're
not gonna be able to spend
as much time together.
You know how you always say
couples that stick
together, stick together.
- Nah, it'll be okay.
I'll use the extra time alone to write.
Ideas.
Ideas.
Ideas.
Please God,
ideas.
Idea.
Ideas.
What is the point?
- I found our lead actress.
- Yeah?
She's in that group
of head shots we got today.
Her name is Brittney Slaten.
- Is she funny?
Who cares? Look at her.
- You're gonna care when we start shooting
and she has to deliver one of your jokes.
We'll get an audience
just because of how she looks.
Let's just watch her
reel together tomorrow.
- Okay.
Hey.
Hi.
- Laurie told me about some news
show today where they did this experiment.
They gave women the choice of dating
either a short guy with a prestigious job
and a great salary or a tall guy who had
a dead end job, was broke
and had a lot of debt.
All the women chose the tall guy.
- Hmm.
- I just think it sucks not
giving short guys a chance.
- Well, it's the same as men wanting
to be with a woman just
because she's beautiful, right?
- I like how personality
is the great equalizer.
You know, if a person has charisma,
it doesn't matter if they're
not conventionally attractive.
People want to be with them.
- You know, supposedly one
of the traits of charismatic
people is that they're good
listeners, like Bill Clinton.
People say that when he's talking to you,
you feel like he's
completely focused on you.
Like you're the most
important person in the world.
- When Isak Dinesen would talk to people,
she'd open her eyes
really wide and refrain
from blinking as if she were
trying to entrance them.
- Wow.
- It made her seem affected
but really she was just insecure.
Her whole problem was self-confidence.
Maybe she wouldn't have
become a great writer
if she doesn't have something to prove.
- Maybe that's what drives
anyone who becomes great.
They have something to prove.
- Yeah.
I want to read you
something that she wrote.
Yeah.
- "Reality had met me
such a short time ago
in such an ugly shape that I have
no wish to come into
contact with it again.
Somewhere in me, a dark
fear was still crouching
and I took refuge within the fantastic,
like a distressed child in his fairytales.
I did not want to look ahead
and not at all to look back."
- Hmm, that's good.
- How are you doing?
I keep fantasizing
about leaving everything.
Not just John but also Philly, this house.
- You've just gotta hang in there.
You're going to make it through this.
It's like you've gotta rip off
the mother of all Band-Aids.
Yeah.
- But once you do-
- I'll be free.
- I'm ready, I want it noted
and I'm just gonna sit here totally still
because normally when I see
that you're still getting ready,
I'll keep fiddling around and
then later when we're late,
you'll think it was because of me.
- I know it's me this
time but it's usually you.
- It's not always me, that's not true.
- Then how come every time I have
a lunch or appointment
by myself, I am on time?
Okay wait, let's get back to Lisa.
So you know she's not typically a snoop,
that's not her style.
Actually though, doesn't
everybody snoop sometimes?
I mean, I've done it.
- What, with me, with my stuff?
- No, not with you.
- Okay.
- Anyway,
John stays at work 'til
like 10 o'clock every night
'cause they avoid going
to bed at the same time
because the bedroom is intimate obviously
and if you're having problems.
Anyway, John works late, comes home,
watches sports news while polishing off
a bottle of wine and
passes out on the sofa.
Lisa comes down to the
kitchen for a glass of water,
notices his cell phone on the dining table
and it makes a noise,
signaling he got a text.
- Oh boy.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- It's a selfie from some blonde.
- Oh no.
- Yeah.
The blond said, "Hey hottie,
you want to hang this weekend?"
- What are they, like fucking
20 year olds or something?
- Thank you.
- That's crazy.
- You know Lisa said
even though she's not
in love with him anymore
and she's told him she wants a divorce,
it was like getting
punched in the stomach.
- Of course.
- But she's like
what else is on his phone?
- Yeah.
- So she starts clicking
through his texts and there
are tons of him asking
different women out for drinks.
- Oh my goodness,
are these women our age
or are they younger?
- Lisa thinks they're our age.
She thinks maybe he went to
college with some of them.
Okay.
- Probably the only way
he's gonna get someone
younger is if he drives some
flashy car or something.
- That's funny.
- But he has no money because his business
isn't doing well and
he refuses to get a job
because 9:00 to 5:00s
are for suckers, right?
And meanwhile, Lisa is working her ass off
trying to pay the bills so their
water doesn't get shut off.
- Jesus, that's terrible.
- And you know what he says to her?
- What?
- "I just wish you'd be happy."
- Wow.
- Maybe that's what all men want, right?
You know, just for their
wives to smile and be happy.
You know what? I get it, I understand it.
It's like "Welcome home,
honey, here's your cake."
- That's how you are, you know?
Right?
- That's how you see me?
- Yeah, you're always happy.
- Well, except for now.
- Really?
- I have no idea what my purpose is.
I mean when I was writing my book,
I felt like I was doing
something that mattered.
But if it turns out you're not
successful at whatever it is you do-
- I love your writing though, Kim.
- But if I'm not getting paid for it
and only a handful of people
know or care about it,
I can't help but wonder if
I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Your writing is validated by success.
You are continually working on TV shows
or selling pilots and you're paid well.
It is great that you have
confirmation of your talent.
Meanwhile I, oh my god, we're so late.
- I was ready.
- Shannon.
- Hi.
- Hey, it was so good to
see you at the reunion.
- Yeah,
but I've changed.
- You look great.
You remember Homecoming?
We didn't even make it to the dance.
We just sat out in the parking
lot and made out in my car.
Who knew that kissing for so
long could be such a turn-on.
But I guess we did more than just kiss.
- I don't believe in climate change.
- Don't ruin it.
- What if you've been losing weight
and working out because you want to date?
- I do not want to date, I'm
married, to a crazy person.
- Actually, I wish I really were nuts.
I'd have more followers on Twitter.
Besides celebrities,
the people who do best
on Twitter are the pretty
girls who are nuts.
Like models who get into insult wars
with people or say crazy
shit about their sex life.
- Yeah, you know Alex has
been doing online dating.
- Ah, how's it going?
- She says that all the guys post pictures
of their motorcycle or truck and all
the girls post pictures of their cats.
- Wow.
- It's like everyone's speaking
the wrong language to each other.
- Can you imagine online dating?
- No, she says that no one
looks like their photo.
When she goes to meet them
for coffee or whatever,
they look totally different
than their picture.
- Ugh.
- It's crazy.
- Well, it's tricky.
You have to have photos that are good
enough to catch guys' attention but not
so good that they're
disappointed when they meet you.
- Yeah, she said some of the guys
will post pictures of
themselves like shirtless.
What are they doing?
- It must be like a primal thing.
- Yeah, it's like "This
is what I look like naked.
I want to see what you look like naked."
- You look good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- Chris is constantly hooking
up with girls he meets online.
I don't think he goes
out with anyone twice.
They just have sex and keep moving.
- Kim, he's in his 20s.
- But isn't it weird that we missed that?
Apparently people spend their
20s balling everyone in sight.
But not us.
Do you wish now that you'd
been single in your 20s?
- No.
- Ooh, you are lying.
This is what dishonesty
in a marriage looks like.
- Would I rather have been
single in my 20s than date you?
No.
- You would do very well
if you were single now.
- Kim, guys would be
throwing themselves at you.
- I have at least five friends who would
gleefully step over my
dead body to get to you.
- No one would be as good as you.
I'd be screwed.
Seriously.
- How's it going with the mediator?
Okay so far.
If we can just keep being
civil to each other,
the divorce will only cost about 5,000.
- When Lisa and John first got together,
I was envious of them because it seemed
like they were more in love than anyone
had ever been in the history of the world
and then basically right
after they got married,
they started having problems.
They were in counseling the first year.
It seems like people make
the decision to get married
when they're in a state
of heightened emotion.
But emotions are fleeting
and marriage is not
and it's hard as hell to get out of.
So, no one should ever get married.
- Well, some would say that's why
you get married because it helps you
stay put when you're
experiencing fleeting emotions.
- It's just so weird that Lisa was married
for 17 years and now
she'll be dating again.
I mean can you imagine
having sex with strangers?
I just described some
people's fantasy, right?
- Yeah.
- Sex with strangers.
- Yeah.
- I'm really sensitive
to how people smell,
even just assuming they're
showered and clean.
- That's funny, that's actually one
of the questions on the dating apps.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Alex says they ask you
to rate how important
everything is to you and
that's one of the things.
How important is it that
your date smells good?
- Very important.
- Yeah.
I don't like when women
wear tons of perfume.
- Hmm, I like when men wear cologne.
- Hmm, maybe I should
wear cologne more often.
- No, I don't care about you wearing it.
You smell good without it.
- No, but if you like cologne,
maybe I should wear it.
- I don't know.
Maybe it would help.
- Maybe it would help?
- What?
- Did you say maybe it would help?
Like what the hell is
that supposed to mean?
- I don't know.
I didn't know what I was saying.
I was thinking about something
else and then, I'm sorry.
- Why don't we have sex anymore?
- We do.
- It's been forever.
- It's been like a month.
- Yeah, that's a long time.
What is it?
Is it me, are you not
attracted to me anymore?
- You know I'm attracted to you.
- Then what is it?
- I think I just meant that
cologne makes me think of sex.
I just need something to remind me of sex.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry.
Hey.
I didn't mean it.
I'm sorry.
I am attracted to you.
- What are you doing?
- I want to drink it hot
first and then switch to iced.
I want it both ways.
How'd casting go today?
- Good, we had a girl come in and audition
that was surprisingly good.
We all liked her, all the writers.
She was a little ditzy but very funny.
- What's her name?
- Brittney.
You know what I noticed today?
Everyone that came in to
audition had striking eye color
like blue or green eyes that
got everyone's attention.
I bet the reason they got into acting
was because when they were growing up,
people would comment on their eyes
and it would make them feel special.
- I believe it.
- Yeah.
- George Clooney has brown eyes.
So was she attractive?
- Who?
- Brittney.
- Yeah, she's cute.
- What's her last name?
- Slaten I think.
- See, it's little things like this
that just chip away at trust.
Are you seriously pretending
to be unsure of her name?
- What?
What?
- I'm trying to decide what I'll do
if you leave me for this actress.
- I'm not gonna leave you.
- Manhattan, some kind of
finance guy, not the shady type.
He just was always brilliant at math
and he has impeccable ethics.
- There's no such person.
- Fine.
- Yeah.
- If I were single, I could
redecorate as often as I like,
change up the whole damn
house whenever I want.
Meanwhile, I hope you're
ready to play therapist
and personal assistant
to your actress wife
as she careens between breathtaking
narcissism and debilitating insecurity.
The great thing about actors
is you always know where you stand.
They're number one.
- Why do you do this?
Huh?
- I like to be prepared for any outcome.
Like anyone, I'm trying
to avoid suffering.
- Well if we break up, we both suffer.
Even if I marry an actress
and you end up with a finance guy.
- Yeah.
I'm nervous.
- You gotta commit or
you're gonna make a mess.
Commit, commit, commit.
Yeah, no, she's at book club.
Yeah, once a week.
Once a week, yeah.
No, but she's doing great,
she's doing really good.
What's that?
Well look, I'm glad it
made you feel better
but did you think about
going outside at all
and throwing it against
the ground or up in-
- I'll fix the wall,
I know how to Spackle.
Besides, I've been wanting to
paint this room again anyway.
- We just had it painted.
- Two years ago.
I got my hair cut
and colored and I bought
some cute new outfits and
Meg has a good camera,
so she's gonna take some pics
of me to use on dating apps.
- Oh my gosh, how fun.
It's so weird to be single again.
Lately I haven't been able
to sleep because I'm just excited.
- Did you know anytime
you see a celebrity with
fabulous mermaid waves, it's
actually hair extensions?
- What?
- One day, I'm going
to get hair extensions.
They'll be really expensive.
They'll never be exactly right
and I'll complain about them a lot.
Actually, I don't want hair extensions.
It's like Fran Lebowitz
says about plastic surgery.
It's the burden of the rich.
But I would like to repaint this bedroom.
- You always want change, huh?
- You always want things to stay the same.
Look, I've been with the
same person for 15 years
and that's great but I
do need change in some
part of my life and I
don't think it's a big deal
to want to repaint the
bedroom occasionally.
- Are you stressed about the show?
- Yeah, I just hope we
make something good.
- On set, it seems like
you're not attracted to me.
- I am.
- But you don't act like it.
- God, I hope not.
- So what have you been up to?
- I'm trying to think of how
to summarize the last two decades.
- You look good.
- No, you do.
- Oh, I don't really look like this.
Recently I've gained some weight
and I started losing my hair.
- I don't care about that stuff.
I just remember you
the way you used to be.
- So when we were on set today,
did I hear you talking
about "The Bachelorette?"
- I'm obsessed.
Is that a problem?
- I wish I didn't care.
- Let's pretend I only
watch documentaries.
- Well, this whole thing is pretend.
There has to be some
grain of truth or reality.
- Remember how we all went to
Katherine's parents farm
for Senior Skip Day?
- Yeah.
- And everyone got wasted
and we all played strip poker in the barn.
- That was one of the
best nights of my life.
- And you and I almost made out.
- Why didn't we?
- I don't know.
- Oh, wait.
It's because you only
dated football players.
- I read a book recently.
- Oh yeah?
- It was so good, it was
about magical thinking.
- Oh, the Joan Didion book?
- No, it was about how if
you think positively enough
often enough, you can manifest
everything you dream of.
- So every person who's
successful now never
had negative thoughts while
they were working their way up?
- I'm not sure.
- I wanted to sleep and now
I'm having a panic attack.
- So, how are you?
- Good.
- It seems like your focus on
success is making you unhappy.
- You think?
- Look, I'm a nice, sweet person.
- No, I know, I'm sorry.
I'll see you at work.
- Okay.
I'm gonna look really hot tomorrow.
- Great.
What'd you do today?
- I wasted time online.
- How much time do you spend on Facebook?
- Too much.
- And what do you get out of it?
- I miss my friends from high school.
- You don't even have
anything in common with them.
- Except childhood.
- Okay.
That's a bit dramatic.
- It is dramatic.
Growing up with a group of people,
it's your personal history,
your formative years.
- Well I just think at a certain point,
at a certain age, you move past that.
- Or is it more important than ever?
Those memories, who you were then?
Like I can't decide if I'm a completely
different person now or
if I'm basically the same.
- I have no desire to be on Facebook.
- You're not a sentimental
person, you're not nostalgic.
- I am about some things.
- You seemed happy to see
everybody at your 20 year reunion.
You were happy to see Shannon.
- It was nice to see her,
it was nice to see everyone.
I like people.
- Yeah but I wanna see
everybody from my class.
Get 'em all together and
just hang out for hours.
Really catch up.
- Yeah, I don't need to do that.
- Maybe you don't care
about being on Facebook
because you're interested in your life.
You're engaged in what you're doing.
- You're not interested in your life?
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
"Stop breaking the law, asshole."
- "Liar Liar."
- "From where does the power come
to see the race to its end?"
- "Chariots of Fire."
"You want us to give back the money?"
- "Lost in America."
"I've got the hair, I've got the eyes."
- "Peggy Sue Got Married."
- "Oh,
I'm trying to cooperate."
- "Fargo."
- "Michael is a very tall man."
You want a hint?
- No.
"All That Jazz."
- Perfect.
I'm sorry, I can't, I
don't do this, I never do.
- I don't care, I just can't
believe you lied about it.
You know what? I mean I do care.
Why are you staying up looking at
pictures of a half-naked model?
- It was stupid, the one time I do that.
- And it was so weird how you like
covered up that you were
looking at it, you totally lied.
- I know, I'm sorry, I screwed up.
- Who even is she?
- She's just like a swimsuit model.
- Would it bother you if I stayed up late
looking at pictures of naked guys online?
- Of course it would.
- But you know you don't have
to worry about that because
I don't want to look at
pictures of strangers' penises.
Everyone knows that men love beauty,
so it's just accepted that you get
to look at pictures of women online.
But I would argue that
you're going outside
the relationship for something
and it could get weird,
like where you'd just
shut down emotionally.
- Kim, Kim, I was just on autopilot, okay?
Randomly clicking through things without
even thinking about it,
that's all that was.
- Why don't you just look at
pictures of women openly then?
I mean, why hide it?
Maybe while I'm cooking you dinner,
you could just be sitting at the table
surfing the net for
pictures of naked women.
- I would never do that to you.
- Doing it behind my back
doesn't protect me, it protects you.
If you're going to keep
doing it, you should tell me.
I want to know if that's our arrangement
so that I'll feel free
to do what I want to do.
- Well, you already are
doing what you want to do.
- What does that even mean?
- You're talking to all
those guys on Facebook.
- They're just friends.
- Okay, well a lot of them
want to be more than just friends.
- They're just curious about my life,
they just want to catch up.
- No, no, no, don't defend them, okay?
I hate when you defend them.
- What's depressing is
that no one can be trusted.
You have your own inner life
and I don't know what
you're really thinking
or what you do with your private time.
- Well, I could say the
same thing about you.
Kim,
you can trust me.
That was rough.
- Yeah, we should write
an episode about this.
- I'm gonna be embarrassed
to tell you about it at work tomorrow.
Maybe I won't.
- Oh, come on.
We talk about everything.
- You think I'm a jerk?
No, I am a
little disappointed though.
I thought y'all had a great marriage.
- We do, this is not a
big deal, all men do it.
- So the problem is that you got caught?
- I don't know.
- Actually I can think of a
few married men I know who,
nice guys, really sweet,
they probably don't look at
pictures of naked women online.
- So you think I'm not a good man?
- No, of course you're a good man.
It's just there's a continuum, you know?
- So I'm not the worst,
but I'm not the best?
- But yeah, I mean I'm
sure there's probably
loads of women who would shrug this off.
They're the type who are
not in love with their
husbands and are like whatever
keeps 'em off my back.
- Yeah, but it's not like she caught me
masturbating to pictures of women.
- Do you think that's worse?
- Yeah, you don't?
There's a big leap between
looking at pictures and
masturbating to them.
- Why?
- Because you're having sexual
thoughts about another woman.
- Aren't you having sexual thoughts
when you're looking at the pictures?
I mean you can have sexual thoughts about
a person without looking
at pictures of 'em.
- This is a whole can of worms.
I just think that masturbating
to pictures of women is worse.
- Well look, if I'm dating someone,
I don't want them doing any of this stuff.
But I think the question is
is it unreasonable for men to expect
to be able to look at
pictures of naked women
or is it unreasonable for
women to expect them not to?
- Yes, I think that it's-
- See, this is why I
hate dating by the way.
It's like you meet this guy,
he seems nice, he's sweet
and then you find out he
has this whole secret life.
- Women have secret lives.
- Yeah, but men's habits
are always darker.
- What's the worst thing you
do that no one knows about?
- I got nothing to hide.
No seriously, I could
run for political office.
- Okay.
- Okay, fine.
If I'm reaching, so if
I'm jealous of a person
or lightly stalking them, I go
online and look up their real
estate records to see how much
they paid for their house.
- That's it?
- Mm hmm.
So you look at pictures
of naked women online.
- Sometimes I'm bored or I'm
frustrated or I need variety.
It's not cheating.
The hawk is right there
between the chairs, it's huge.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Oh, look at that hummingbird.
You see it right there?
- Oh, I see it.
- Yeah.
I love how birds are busy
doing their own thing.
They just go about their
lives with no interest in us.
- Yeah, I love that.
It is gross how much we ate this weekend.
- What if you could go
to jail for gluttony?
Our friends would be like,
"What happened to Mark and Kim?"
"Well, they went to prison
because of 4th of July weekend."
- A big part of marriage
is over-eating together.
Everyone would be in jail with us.
- Yeah.
- You know how they say you should
move your body for 20 minutes every day?
- Yeah.
- It just always sounds
appealing to me, you know?
Like I do my workout but it's tedious.
But like moving your body
for 20 minutes a day,
that just sounds fun, you
could just do whatever
and they say it reduces your
chance of getting cancer.
- Yeah.
What's going on?
- I'm going to move my
body for 20 minutes.
- Okay.
- You're going to do it with me?
- Sure.
I'm up for that.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- So where do you live in Philly?
- East Falls.
- Oh wow, how is it?
- It's great, there's cool stuff to do.
It's easy to meet up with friends.
There's a sense of community.
- The only time I feel
a sense of community
in LA is when we're greeted warmly
by waiters at our favorite restaurants.
- You don't have to live here.
- No,
I do.
So, how'd it go today?
- We just kept getting a bunch
of stupid notes and the
premise of the show,
I just wish it were one
of me and Alex's ideas.
I mean we've written
a ton of great pilots.
Everyone loves the "Austin" pilot.
I just don't know why our agents
haven't tried to get it
set up somewhere yet.
- I think it has to come from
you, you have to tell them,
"This is the script we want to make."
- We've done that.
- You've never said "We are
going to lie down in traffic
until you help us get this
script set up somewhere."
- You can't do that, you don't just-
- Then you have to make it happen yourself
with or without their
help, shoot it yourself.
We could go to Philly.
You could shoot at friends'
houses, local places.
- Kim, if I say no to jobs
here so I can make something
of myself, we wouldn't be
able to keep this house.
- Okay.
- Everything we have,
we bought with the money that I make from
taking jobs that I don't
always want to take.
- I know, so let's not let
an attachment to material
possessions stop you from
fulfilling your dreams.
- Come on Kim, you say that
but if we had to move out
and move into a one bedroom
apartment or God forbid,
move back home with one of our
parents, you would hate me.
You would divorce me so fast.
- No, I wouldn't.
But you might resent me for talking you
into quitting your job but I
mean, I could go to Philly.
- What, why would you go to Philly?
- I don't know, that makes no sense.
- Look, it doesn't matter.
We just gotta get ahold of ourselves here.
We don't have to go to
such extreme measures.
Look, I am not miserable.
I just want to one day be
able to make one of my pilots
and that day is gonna come,
I just need to be patient.
That's it.
- I need to get a job.
I thought when my book was published,
maybe I would get an advance to write
my next one but that isn't happening.
- You already have a job, you're a writer.
- At a certain point, you have to ask
yourself if you're
really on the right path.
I mean clearly,
you know what?
I'm not on this path anymore.
Fuck this path, I'm going
to do something else.
- Start your next book.
- I'm not writing another book.
It'd be stupid to write another one.
- But no, it's not stupid.
You're a writer, you're good at it.
- Even if I am, does it matter
if no one reads what I write?
- You have a bunch of
subscribers on your blog.
- It's all friends and family.
There are writers with tens
of thousands of subscribers.
Although supposedly no one's
even reading blogs anymore.
It's all about Instagram now.
- Okay whatever, you don't stop
expressing yourself just
because there's no audience.
- It used to be I would've agreed with you
but now that I've been
doing this for so long,
you know what I'm trying
to accept right now?
There may not be a happy ending.
I might never be successful.
- You will be successful.
You already are successful.
- You're amazing.
I don't deserve you.
So which one was this?
The fireman, super hot.
- Ooh, so you finally
hooked up, what happened?
It was a bust.
I gave him a hand job just
to get him out of my house.
- If you didn't want
to, you shouldn't have.
Would you want your daughters doing that?
God no.
I shouldn't have done it.
He asked me why I wasn't
letting him do anything for me.
It's because when we were
making out, the way he was
touching me, I could tell he
didn't know what he was doing,
But here's something.
You know how penises are
usually not that attractive?
- Yeah.
- His was,
it was actually beautiful.
- Really?
- Yeah.
It looked like it was airbrushed.
His whole body was just sort of golden.
- Wow.
I think another reason he looked
good down there was because
he was well-groomed.
His hair was trimmed.
- Mark trims his hair.
- Of course he does
because he gives a shit.
John never did anything to
maintain his hair down there.
It was disgusting.
- Ugh.
So you gave him a hand job.
Did you use any kind of lubricant or?
He finished himself off.
He did something I've never seen before.
He's spit in his hand for lube.
- So he's adept at getting himself off.
But not women.
- Maybe this is an argument
for dating older men.
No, they want
to date 26 year olds.
- Of course they do.
Another thing about
getting older is I find
myself thinking about
the big picture more.
Often like I'm looking at our life from
a distance and I see where
we are on the continuum.
- Yeah, I know we have time left but
it no longer seems infinite.
- And soon, the pretty years will be over.
Maybe they already are.
When I think about how the rest
of our life is going to go,
I feel like there may not
be a lot of surprises left
or there will be surprises
but they won't be good ones.
- There will be good surprises.
A lot of cool stuff might happen.
- What's weird is that
even if I think about
the good stuff that might
happen, I don't feel excited.
- You know, one of the
actresses on our show
read a good book about thinking positive.
I'll find out the name
of it and get it for you.
- You don't find pessimism attractive?
So, how was the notes meeting today?
Tell me they raved about the script.
- No, they went right into notes.
They had no compliments,
nothing positive to say.
- Bullshit.
- I kept wanting to say,
"Hey, have you seen the
shows on your network?
Because they all suck."
- Yeah.
- What are you doing? Why are you smiling?
- Oh, I'm just doing this thing
from that book on positivity you got me.
Go ahead, tell me more about your day.
- Okay.
So we're shooting this
episode where Brittney's older
brother comes over and he's
talking about his womanizing
and basically being a
dick and they say, "Hey,
Brittney's not being sweet
enough to him in this scene.
Can she like make him a
sandwich or something?"
- Wow, that's annoying.
- Wait, what are you
doing? Why are you smiling?
- Oh, I'm faking it 'til I make it.
Just the physical act of smiling
causes the serotonin to be released.
- Okay, well it's freaking me out.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Too much?
- Dinner was so good, thank you.
I'm sorry I've been working so late.
- No, I'm sorry you're having to.
So Lisa is going on a million dates.
She's like the belle of the ball
on all of these dating apps.
You know how she had
gained weight over the past
couple of years because her
marriage was so miserable?
- I bet she loses it now.
- She already has.
- Of course.
- She said when she dropped the kids off
at John's this weekend,
he looked slimmer too.
- Yeah, they're on the market
now, they have to look good.
It's amazing what people
can accomplish when they're motivated.
- She said some of her girlfriends who are
divorced have told her
that guys in their 20s
and 30s like dating older
divorced women because
a lot of them want to have
sex with no strings attached.
They've already been married,
they already have kids.
- Are you jealous of Lisa?
- No.
No.
- Because she gets to date?
- Yeah, but whom?
By the time you're our age,
people have developed some
seriously scary habits.
- So what'd you do today?
- I read an article in the LA Times.
- Well that's something.
- It was about people who
are obsessed with opera.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
They hang out on these websites devoted
to opera news and gossip and there's this
contingent of opera lovers
called Opera Hoppers.
They fly all over the world
just to see performances
they're interested in
and these are not just rich people.
We're talking about
secretaries who love opera
and save up all their money
to go to Italy or wherever.
- That's cool.
- What blew me away is that
there are people out there
pursuing some passion
of theirs full force.
I mean instead of doing something stupid,
like having an affair just because
they feel empty or sad or uninspired,
they're taking this passion
that could be put toward blowing
up their life and they're doing
something positive with it.
- Do you think it's possible
that you're going
through a midlife crisis?
- I think I'm too young.
- Well, it seems like you're
going through something.
- I think I'm okay.
- Well you might not be the best judge.
Maybe the person that's in it
isn't able to see what's happening.
Kim, I'm just concerned that
you're gonna do something
you might regret.
You're not thinking about
having an affair, are you?
- No.
Mark, I would never do
anything to hurt you.
Hey, even if you have
a really cynical view,
like say that people are ultimately
self-centered and do what they want,
I'm not going to do something that goes
against my own best
interest and it's in my own
best interest to protect
this relationship.
- Okay.
- I love you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I read the pages you wrote today.
- Yeah?
- It's so good.
So funny.
I was cracking up at everything.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Of all the writers we know,
you are by far the best.
- No.
- Yeah.
- It's been so long since
you've given me a compliment.
You're usually so good about it.
- Everyone wants recognition and praise.
- I know, right?
What's wrong?
- Nothing.
It's a vision board.
- A vision of the future, or?
- I don't know.
I guess it just represents what I want.
- It's all 80s.
- Yeah.
- The 1980s.
- Yes.
- Well like how is this
sufficient for the future?
- I knew you wouldn't understand.
- Well, I'm trying.
- I don't know, maybe it's
not a vision board exactly.
It's just I'm really
into the 80s right now.
It's one of my passions.
I just want to immerse myself in it.
- Writing is one of your passions.
- I appreciate your
encouraging me to write.
But right now, I just want to think
about things that make me feel good.
- Wow.
- I knew she was into him.
She was flirting, right?
- Yeah, 95 % sure.
- 1,000 %.
- I'm really impressed you resisted.
- I mean, was it hard?
- Of course it was, look at him.
It was the hardest thing he's ever done.
A part of him died when he
sent that boring, stupid text.
- Nah.
- Good man.
- It's hard being an adult.
- You know, you should've let us pitch you
a response because I could've come up
with a way to say no and
yes at the same time.
- What he said was perfect.
- Why deny yourself what would
obviously be an incredible pleasure?
- Because some things are
worth sacrificing for,
like the love of an
honest and loyal person.
- Yeah, instead of hooking up with randos.
- If Brittney's a rando, sign me up.
- Okay, well I need this
job to last for years.
Yes.
- So how you handle this
is critically important.
- Our careers are on the line here.
- I think what they're saying
is don't shit where you eat.
- He's not gonna cheat.
- I love Kim.
I'm in love with Kim.
I'm not buying you an IROC.
- Mark, they're so affordable
compared to a new car.
You can get one that's in
great shape for like nothing.
- But up until today,
you wanted a new Volvo.
- All the reviews say the new
Volvo is a very staid ride.
Not exciting to drive, solid but dull.
- For nine years you've been
driving a Volvo and loved it,
so much so that you've been
wanting another one up until today.
- I did love it but now that I've been
getting in touch with what I really want.
- You know what, it makes me
really uncomfortable the way
your opinion about something
can change so completely.
- Hey,
I hear what you're saying.
My opinion of you has never changed.
Hey.
- Hmm?
- That will always stay the same.
- You've been talking
about getting a new Volvo
for months and now all of
a sudden it's dead to you?
Now you randomly want to buy a car
that represents what was cool in the 80s?
Like what is your obsession with the 80s?
- It just seems like such a fun time.
I had the 90s, the 90s sucked.
- Yeah, the 80s were way better.
- Diana's best friend had an IROC
and they let me ride around with them.
- Yeah, but it's like that song.
"You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory."
- Who sang that?
- Johnny Thunders, he was
in the New York Dolls.
I just feel like you're
gonna screw me over someday.
- How can you say that?
We've been together forever.
- Yeah, maybe too long.
- Too long for me or for you?
- Not for me, I'm happy.
- So am I, except for not
knowing why I'm alive.
- Well, maybe you should see someone.
- I don't need a
therapist, I need an IROC.
Come on, spend $200 an hour
just to tell someone about
how I spent seven years
writing a book and it
nearly killed me and it
was published and I thought
that was the Holy Grail
but it turns out what you really want
is for people to actually read it?
- Come on, Jonathan Franzen
wrote a whole thing about this,
about how people don't read
challenging fiction anymore.
So what else did you do
besides looked at cars online?
- I watched "Valley Girl."
What?
That's not new to you.
You know it's my favorite
movie and always has been.
Why are you mad?
- I'm not mad.
I just feel like you're
refusing to do what would
make you happy, which is
to start writing again.
- I used to worry that
there wasn't enough time
to write all that books I had ideas for
and now I can't think of one single idea.
It's like I have nothing to say.
The only thing I can think of is hey,
you know how we're all
addicted to our phones?
Doesn't that suck?
- I'm sure you could come
up with ideas if you tried,
you just have to get back into it.
What?
- This is from Malcolm Gladwell,
he wrote this about his running
in a cross country race when he was young.
"I had done what everyone always says
you are supposed to do as a human being.
I had given it my all.
And I realized that what everyone
says you should always do
was so painful that I never
wanted to do it again."
We should have sex.
- I wish you wouldn't
always use the word should.
- Oh my gosh, you're right.
I'm sorry, I don't always say
should, it's just that lately-
- If you're not up for it, that's fine.
- I'm up for it.
- All right, let's do it.
- Great.
Hi, I'm Fred, I like tacos
and '71 Cabernet and my
favorite color is magenta-
- What?
No, I'm just in the middle of something.
Supposedly you should never go
into a meeting without
knowing what you want.
- No, it's not that type of meeting.
They just want to celebrate
the show starting production.
- Oh, that's nice.
- Kim, they're not gonna help us get one
of our scripts set up when
we're already on a show.
- It took months for this show to start.
If they sell one of your
scripts, maybe that'll
take months to get going too
and the timing would work out.
- They don't want to do the work, okay?
They're thrilled that we're on a job
so they don't have to do anything.
In fact, I'm sure they're gonna push some
of their clients on us, try to
pressure us into hiring them.
- You could ask them to
send out your movie script.
- They didn't respond to it, remember?
- They don't have to respond
to it, they have to sell it.
- Yeah, but then they'll say it's hard
for them to sell it if they don't love it.
- It's hard for you to work
on shows you don't love
but you do it and they
take 10 % of your salary.
- Okay, I'll tell them to
put out our movie script.
You're right, they suck.
- Don't do it for my sake, I mean
if you want this
celebratory dinner to be all
about their agenda, foisting
their other clients on you,
if you can't ask for what you want-
- Okay, do you know what I want?
You know what I want?
I want to know what you did today.
What'd you do?
- This is embarrassing.
But I did nothing.
Did you watch "Valley Girl" again?
- Yeah.
When I'm watching it,
it's like when you're
sleeping and you're having
this really good dream and you
just don't want to wake up.
- Do I need to cancel dinner?
- Why?
- Because I'm concerned about you.
- I'm fine.
- Can I ask you a question?
What is so terrible about
our life that you need
to escape it by watching
"Valley Girl" over and over?
- Nothing.
I'm very grateful for our life
and I know I'm out of integrity, you know?
Not being productive during the day
when you're out working hard.
I know.
- It's okay.
So what's happening with Lisa?
- She's in love.
She says he's the type
of guy everybody loves.
They go to dinner parties
at his friends' houses
and everybody's really
nice and interesting
and they tailgate at football
games and she's buying
lingerie and they have sex
for like 10 hours straight.
- Good for her.
- Yeah.
She deserves it, I'm happy for her.
- Me too.
- Yeah.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
- Well hey, okay, I gotta go.
No more "Valley Girl."
Hey.
- Hi.
- How's a going?
- How'd it go?
- Oh, great.
They're gonna send out our
pilots and the movie script.
They didn't even remember
the way they reacted.
They were like "Oh well
yeah, we love that script."
I don't know.
So what'd you do tonight?
- There's all this excitement on Facebook.
- Oh yeah, why?
- Tommy Clements changed
his relationship status
from married to single.
- No way.
- It's a big deal, Mark.
All of us girls were DMing
each other, it was so fun.
- Why?
- 'Cause it was like we
were in high school again.
Except instead of passing notes-
- No, I mean why were
you DMing each other?
- Because everybody in
my class loved Tommy.
- Okay.
- And now he's available,
somebody is going to get to marry him
and there are a few really
interesting candidates.
- Like who?
- Remember Heather Hampton?
She's gorgeous and she's single now too.
- But she had like five kids.
- Tommy has four.
- Jesus, really?
- I wonder why his wife divorced him?
- Why do you think she divorced him?
- Men never initiate divorce,
even if they're miserable.
- Yeah, they just have affairs, right?
- Practically the only
time men initiate divorce
is if the woman they're cheating
with pushes them to do it.
Did you get dessert tonight?
- I did not.
Why?
- Do you want me to bake you
some chocolate chip cookies?
- No, you were sleeping,
I'm not gonna, come on.
- I already made the dough.
I don't mind.
- I should say no.
That's crazy.
- It'll take 10 minutes.
- 10 minutes?
- 10 minutes.
- You know, you're the
best human on the planet.
That's amazing, you're gonna do that?
- I'm gonna do it.
- You're the best, oh my god.
- I can't believe you're getting divorced.
- Yeah.
But you and Mark,
you guys have been
together for what, like-
- 15 years.
- Wow.
So what's the secret to a happy marriage?
- You have to like talking to each other.
Obviously you have to find
each other physically attractive too.
But I think that's what keeps
the physical attraction alive.
You know, if you like
talking to each other.
- So you like talking to Mark?
- Yeah.
- Then why are you talking to me?
Is that your
high school yearbook?
- Mm hmm.
Why are you looking at it?
You didn't get enough
of everyone on Facebook?
- I miss the young version of
everyone, who we were then.
How was work?
- Hell.
Everything's a battle with those people.
How's the lead
actress doing, Brittney?
- Good, she's funny.
- Ah.
- Has she been flirting with you?
- No.
- Is she being overly
solicitous, cozy, buddy-buddy?
- No.
- Covertly seductive, overtly seductive,
super cute and charming?
- Hey, you have nothing to worry about.
- She knows you're married,
she met me at the first taping.
I want to kill her.
But I would never do that.
- Well, that's a relief.
- Because I'm terrified of prison.
How'd the taping go?
- Good.
How was your day?
- Heather Hampton and Tommy Clements
went on a date but there was no chemistry.
- I wish I could take
you out on a real date.
I'd drive over to your place
and take you to dinner and a movie.
- Or I could make a great meal for you.
- You cook?
- So you never think about
moving back to Philly?
- No.
- I know you can't move
back because of your work.
- We can't move back.
- Right.
But sometimes, you know,
I think it'd be cool to live there again.
I mean most people settle
down where they grew up.
There must be a reason for that.
I mean even famous people
return to where they grew up.
Like Bruce Springsteen lives
in New Jersey and Jon Bon Jovi.
Maybe it's healing.
- Yeah.
I'm sure it is cathartic to
buy a mansion and a horse
farm right next to where you
grew up struggling and broke.
But we wouldn't be doing that.
- In this book, they talk about
how there is no easy street.
There's never a point at which
you can just coast indefinitely.
- That's depressing.
- Well, it makes sense
if you think about it.
I mean it's one thing
to take a well-earned
vacation or enjoy some downtime but if all
you did was lie around on a beach forever-
- It would stop being enjoyable.
- There's some quote about how
you're happiest when you're growing.
- Which involves pain, discomfort.
- Just acknowledging that
makes it more bearable.
Not writing these past few months
has been painful but not in a good way.
And now I have nothing
to show for my time,
not even a lame draft of
some chapters or anything.
- Yeah, you could argue
it's better to create stuff
and be disappointed by the results than
not create anything at
all and be depressed.
- Yeah.
I don't know what your interests are
or what you care about really.
I mean, other than the random
stuff you post on Facebook.
So it's hard for me to make
up conversation for you.
I don't know what you'd say
or what you'd talk to me about, you know?
- Then let's not talk.
- Okay.
- So what'd you do today?
- Nothing.
I got this from the LA Times today.
It's from the music
critic Randall Roberts.
"Nostalgia by definition
seldom moves a person
forward and rarely
satisfies in the long run."
I just wish I could talk to you, you know?
I'm sure if we met up in
real life, it'd be so great.
- Maybe.
So,
how are you?
You look good.
You don't have to live here.
Why didn't we?
That was one of the
best nights of my life.
There's a sense of community.
You cook?
On a real date.
Then why are you talking to me?
So what's the secret to a happy marriage?
- You know how people point out that
marriage was invented at a time when
people didn't have a very
long life expectancy?
Like it's a social construct
that's maybe an unrealistic
ideal now that the average life
expectancy is 86 years old.
- Yeah?
- I just mean
is it natural to be in closed captivity
with one person for the
majority of your life?
- If you love that person,
if you feel like they're the
one that's most suited for you.
- But do you think conventionality
and fear cause two people to
stay together for decades?
I mean at a certain
point, it's so familiar.
You know so much about each other.
You know what the other
person's going to say.
- I don't always know
what you're gonna say.
- Yeah.
Actually, I don't always know
what you're gonna say either.
You're an interesting person.
But
we know each other so well.
We've had a lot of great
years and it's like
you could say all right,
we're really good together,
we're very compatible and
we've had a great run but
now maybe we should just, you know,
go have new experiences, you know?
- What are you saying?
- I just wonder if we're
staying together because
it's familiar and comfortable
and because we're afraid.
- Partly, yes and I don't think
there's anything wrong with that.
But just because something
is new and different
doesn't necessarily mean that it's better.
- Oh, I know, I know.
- What are you getting at?
- I don't know.
- It's sunny 365 days a year.
There's palm trees right
outside our front door.
It's a paradise here.
Yet you've been talking about moving back
to Philly and now you're questioning
the institution of marriage because what?
You want a shot at Tommy
Clements or something?
Seriously?
You really want to go out with this guy?
- I just,
I miss him.
- You miss him?
Why do you miss him?
- Because
he was a nice person and we were friends.
I feel so nostalgic.
- You don't even have anything
in common with this guy.
Have you been talking to him?
- No.
- Are you talking to him on Facebook?
- No.
- But you want to.
Does he even know anything
about what you're doing here?
Does he know you're a writer?
- I don't know, probably not.
- I got news for you, this guy
doesn't give a shit about
anything you care about.
He's not gonna read your book.
He probably hasn't cracked
a book since college
but for some reason, you
can't stop thinking about
moving back home so you can
what, date him, marry him, what?
Holy shit.
Oh man.
What is happening, Kim?
Why are you not responding to me?
I mean, you can't be
in love with this guy.
You don't even know him
anymore and even if you did,
how could you possibly have
anything in common with him?
Kim, what is happening?
Talk to me, please.
This whole thing, is it because of Lisa?
Because you see her dating now
and she's falling in love with that guy?
I'm supportive, I'm
working my ass off for you.
I'm doing everything that I possibly can
but I can't compete with
your high school memories.
I can't believe this.
I can't believe this is happening.
Say something.
Will you say something?
You are breaking my fucking heart.
- Every day,
I get online and look at
stupid shit for hours.
I can't stop myself
and everybody back home,
they don't care that my
book's not a success.
They don't care if I make it or not.
They accept me for me.
- I accept you for you.
- I know.
But in high school, my dreams
hadn't been crushed yet.
I don't even know what
my dreams were back then.
But now,
here, I am constantly reminded
of everything I haven't achieved.
The only thing I care about is writing.
- Then write.
- Okay.
At first when I would think about you,
I'd get this buzz, like
this jolt of excitement
and now there's absolutely
no novelty or thrill.
Just the misery of addiction.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm tired of these weak
conversations we have.
It's so frustrating.
- Why can't you just make up
interesting conversation for me then?
- That's of no value to me.
I want to know what you'd
say for real in real life.
That would be interesting to know.
- Well, that's not going to happen.
- Yeah.
Could you just go please?
- Then why are you always looking at it?
- Because I'm always getting texts.
- From who? How do I know it's not Tommy?
- Because I wouldn't do that to you.
- Then who the hell is
texting you all the time?
- It's just Lisa.
But you know what,
you're the one always
looking at your phone.
In fact, any time I walk into
the room, you act guilty.
You like suddenly lower it.
- Yeah, it's because I'm
looking at sports shit.
- Not texts from the
actress, from Brittney?
- No.
- You know what I keep thinking about?
You forgave me pretty easily for-
- For almost leaving me for Tommy?
- I mean you've forgiven
me pretty darn easily.
- What are you getting at?
- I think it's because you
related to what I was going through.
Maybe you think about Shannon sometimes.
I mean, you went out
with her for two years.
You lost your virginity to her.
Surely you think about her sometimes.
- No, I do not think about her at all.
- You know what the
difference between us is?
I'm honest about what I'm
going through and you're not.
- No, the difference between us
is I can handle upsetting
truths and you cannot.
- He's hot and he is your
favorite person to be with.
How many people can say
that after so many years?
There is no better man.
Who else is better? There's no one.
You are completely compatible.
Remember that time you were
driving over the Canyon and he
was driving the opposite way
and when he drove past you,
when you saw his car,
your heart skipped a beat?
It literally skipped a beat.
- Kim, you threw it away
because you couldn't stop looking at it.
- No, I just thought why keep it around?
- It's a high school yearbook,
why would you throw it away?
- Okay, yes, I didn't want
to keep looking at it but not because-
- Yeah, because of Tommy.
That's why.
- No.
- Yes it is because you
couldn't stop looking at him.
- No, I told you it's
because I'm nostalgic.
- That's bullshit.
- But I'm not looking back anymore, okay?
I have a plan.
- A plan?
- Yeah, a plan for getting more grounded
in the here and now, for reconnecting.
It'll promote intimacy
and foster goodwill.
- What is it, what's the plan?
- We have sex or do
something sexual every night.
- Okay.
All right.
- Okay.
- That's a plan.
- Do you want to have sex like
they do in "The Notebook?"
See how he's holding her
arm up against the wall?
It's sexy if a nice guy is doing that
but understandably, most nice guys don't.
- No, there's his hand right there.
- Oh my gosh, you're right.
- Like this?
- Ow, wait just like that.
- This is it.
- Ryan's hand was down, yeah.
- This good?
- Yeah.
She was shorter.
- I thought you wanted to paint
the room a different color.
- Well, I know you like it this shade
and when I started thinking
about other colors,
there was nothing I could think of that
I'd like better that I
wouldn't get sick of, you know?
Remember the first time you asked me out?
- Uh-huh.
- You stopped me in the hallway.
You seemed nervous.
- Yeah.
- That was a great day.
Yeah.
- It turns out I'm in the desert.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Everyone who has a dream or a goal
spends time in the desert,
sometimes years and years.
- Am I in the desert too?
- Well, you've attained one
of your original big goals,
having a show but since
there's more you want to do,
I guess you're still in the desert.
- What happens in the desert?
- It's filled with uncertainty and danger.
Lots of obstacles come up
and you don't know if you're
going to make it, you want to
turn back, give up your goal.
Anytime you have a chance
at something easier,
you want to settle for that.
- But you shouldn't.
- No.
You have to keep going.
- So what's happening with
Lisa and her insurance guy?
- It didn't work out.
- Really?
They were crazy about each
other, having sex for 10 hours.
- I know.
It's hard to find the real thing.
- Yeah.
Hey, did you see that post
from Tommy Clements on Facebook?
- No.
- He announced his engagement.
- What? How could he already be engaged?
To some woman he met at the gym.
- At the gym?
- He proposed to her
at a Jam Band Music Festival.
- Jam Band.
Thank God.
- For what?
- I'm just, I'm really grateful for Mark.
I always enjoyed sex but
it was a little bit like going to church.
I never felt like going but
afterward, I was glad I did.
But now that we've made
it a nightly thing,
I look forward to it.
Who wouldn't want to feel
good every night, you know?
- Yeah, I do.
- I know what I'm going to write next.
- Yeah?
- Mm hmm.
For some reason, I haven't been able
to get invested in any of the
plot lines I've thought of.
I don't want to make
anything up right now.
I just want to write what I know.
- So nonfiction?
- Mm hmm.
- What's the topic?
- How to have a good marriage.
♪ Girl ♪
♪ I need your love tonight ♪
♪ I can't wait, I must know ♪
♪ What's on your mind ♪
♪ The same thing's on mine ♪
♪ I can't wait any longer, oh yeah ♪
♪ 'Cause I need you now ♪
♪ Right now ♪
♪ Now ♪
♪ Right now, oh yeah ♪
♪ They'll never take this night away ♪
♪ It's yours and mine until the day ♪
♪ It's all right for one night ♪
♪ We'll never have this chance again ♪
♪ So love me now and we'll pretend ♪
♪ It's all right for one night ♪
♪ Right now, I need your love tonight ♪
♪ I can't wait any longer ♪
♪ 'Cause the time has come, oh yeah ♪
♪ And I need you tonight ♪
♪ Girl ♪
♪ We got no hiding place ♪
♪ We've gotta keep up the pace ♪
♪ When the things you want ♪
♪ Well they're just out of reach ♪