Barbie & Kendra Save the Tiger King (2020) - full transcript

After narrowly escaping the contagious catastrophe of the CORONA ZOMBIES, ditsy American beauties Barbie (Cody Renee Cameron) and Kendra (Robin Sydney) battle their deadliest foe yet: ...

60 people! We still
maintain social distance!

- Hello? - Where are you?

- I'm somewhere else.
- Apparently.

I don't know where I am or how I
came from here. You have to help me!

Track your steps. Come back exactly
the same way you came, but back.

OK...

Wait a minute, you disgusting.
Okay, what did I do before?

Right!

Damn it! Nothing happened!

Right!

You got it!



- Oh my God! What a beautiful hair!
- Thank you.

Physically well preserved, five more!

Air purifiers!

- I really miss you. - And I it.

I must not miss my program.
Come on, Barbie!

Honestly, you smell a little greasy.

I have been wearing these
clothes for a long time. Wait.

Hurry up, the program starts right away.

Tiger Joe, Tiger Joe...

The program starts now!

- Sorry, but you're a little too close.
- Right!

- What fun.
- It will be so much fun!

- What's the program?
- It's at BPN.

- BPN? - Big Pussy Network.



It's a nature channel with a program
that I've watched since you disappeared.

- How long have I been away?
- It's a guy, Joe Exotic.

He's a real hot guy
that makes me spin.

- Meow! - He's a tiger king...

which is placed by a bride who
everyone thinks killed her husband.

It's the Corona virus,
Tiger King and nothing else.

Many stayed at home watching
Netflix's Tiger King series.

The documentary accompanies owners
of big cats and conservationists.

One of them, Don Louis,
has been missing since 1997.

Louis was married to Carol Baskin,
the target of a bespoke murder.

Hillsborough County,
Florida police received many tips.

Have you ever heard of a will
with a 'disappearance clause'?

'If I disappear,
give that person the legacy.'

We have a person who checks all
the tips and we are optimistic.

I hope someone will present
the missing evidence.

There he is. You understand what I want to say?

Isn't he sickly handsome?

- Kendra?
- Calm down, it's starting now.

This is BPN, the Big Pussy Network.

Always big pee.
Now we present our fantastic program:

The Great Catsby - The Joe Exotic Story.

- Hi then, princess. - Daddy!

- I looked for tiger cubs.
- Daddy!

- Are you ready to go to mom? - I'm not
forced to go back to the jungle, am I?

- Are you charged? - Sucks!

- No, it doesn't.
- I do not want! I hate the jungle.

This is your last trip there, my son.

Dad, why doesn't mom live with us?

Joe, you know that she can't fly
home after that big accident.

- Can't the slut ride a boat? - Your
mother suffers from severe memory loss.

So we left.

Board flight 86 to Amazonas.

Hello, you must be little Joe Exotic.
You seem to love the jungle.

Who the hell is this narrow suburban?

You will have so much fun. You start to
see snakes, jackals and carnivorous plants.

- Daddy!
- Killer bees, tsetse flies, Ebola.

I'm saying I don't want to go.
I hate my mother. Do not touch me!

I'm looking for my own home, bitch.

- Welcome aboard, lady.
- I am a man.

Clear. - Do you put out
the cigar before we get up?

You can put your pants on,
sit next to a smaller one.

- What fun to meet your mother.
- You do not know me.

Bride, I don't feel any
connection with that woman.

- Why?
- She's following me and Dad.

It's probably just a misunderstanding.

This is the captain. On behalf of Wild Cat
Airlines, I would like to welcome you on board

on flight 86, then sit back and enjoy.
We expect a smooth flight.

- Hi, Debbie. Remember the vermouth?
- Dirty martini as you like.

- Is the plane full?
- It is not bad.

We have a sad boy in the first
series called Joe Exotic.

- Joe Exotic?
- He's the actress's son...

Isadora Manicotti Exotic. The movie
star of the serious zip line accident.

- Zipline?
- When recording the musical...

'Malaria devastation' in the jungle.
She and her husband fell.

- Did they survive?
- Yes, but they both lost their memory.

I wish I could
forget my whole life.

- Another round, Mr. Exotic?
- Yes, thank you, Pickles.

My name is Jebediah.
Another burnt at home will come soon.

You are drinking well tonight.
Is there anything that worries you?

- Or do you want to be in a good mood?
- My son will visit his mother...

- for the last time. - Last time?

This is something that is not true.

- Did you check the power steering fluid?
- No!

- I can't control the plane!
- And I don't anymore.

- Not tonight, Kenny.
- You are ruining our relationship.

Abner, listen to me.
Our neighbor is a real witch.

Last week, I saw her perform
the copulation ritual.

Sorry, but do we know each other?

- What are you going to do in the Amazon,
boys? - It turns out we took the wrong plan.

I saw you at Coachella once.
The stage was so bright.

- You were the one who undressed naked.
- Yes! I was using drugs with the Poles.

- Guys, we're making a song for her.
- Yes! They can come with peanuts.

Yes!

This is not your place.

Have you explored Scientology?

Pull it up!

I have to calm my nerves.
Ask Debbie for another round, now!

Admit it. We distance ourselves.

10-4, flight 86. Captain Crunch announces
that they have serious problems.

- I never said we were together.
- I think it lasted so long, after all.

Do I get your attention? New single
and second companion Kenny here.

Fasten your seat belts,
I have sensible news.

- I never got my peanuts.
- And I'm on my way to AA.

We have a small engine problem that
our idiot captain is trying to solve.

Stay calm. Do not wet your panties.
There is probably no danger.

With that said, if any of you
have a parachute, put it on now.

And thanks for
flying Wild Cat Air.

They should have fallen over here,
so the wreckage is probably in this area.

Ask the first search team to refuel the
plane and ask Debbie to cancel dinner.

Sister, maybe you should create a line of confessions.

This is the captain. I hope you enjoy
the flight and ignore all the rumors.

We just hit the ground and I don't
see you before landing or again

you land first, so we want to thank
you for choosing Wild Cat Air.

We know there are other options
and we appreciate your money.

- This pilot sucks.
- Debbie, the planet is sinking.

I forgot to ask everyone if
they have assets to declare.

I checked again.

But I forgot my phone charger!

- Goodbye. - This is the last one.

- But little Joe Exotic then?
- Find everything that floats.

- Goodbye.
- I'm on my honeymoon!

- Goodbye. - No, I can't swim!

And I'm allergic to algae.

Thank you for choosing Wild Cat Air.

Wait, you're eating my arm!

- Hello? - Is it Chip Exotic?

- Yes it's true.
- Adventure Land travel agency here.

I'm sorry to announce that
Joe Exotic was on the plane

that fell in the Amazon. Hello? Hello?

Your last journey... to the jungle.

You are watching The Great Catsby
- The Joe Exotic Story

with several Canadian actors
that you don't recognize.

It is no wonder that Joe Exotic became a
celebrity after the documentary premiered.

How can you not like him?
He's a blond, blue-eyed, all-American guy

who likes to shoot and has an
insatiable appetite for peeing.

Tiger kisses.

He's so sexy, right?

He's very charming, I think.
But he is probably nothing to us.

Joe is for everyone.

- He probably doesn't like to pee like us.
- Calm down, we'll keep checking.

Ironically, American hero Joe Exotic
rots in prison while Carol Baskins

ex-man has not yet been found.

She is the villain.
I just want to scratch her eyes.

She's worse is Darth
Vapor from Star Trek Wars.

- You mean Dark Veiner?
- Yes, him too.

I call him Joey Joe Joe
Joe because he’s so cute.

All of our friends also disappeared without
a trace. Carol Baskin is certainly guilty.

No, they haven't disappeared, Barbie.
We are still just isolating ourselves.

Yes, but we still have to do something
for her. I hate that flower headband.

- Yes.
- If only a celebrity could help us.

Rapper Cardi B, of course,
started a campaign to release Mr Exotic.

Some think the verdict was fair,
but Cardi B, known for his logical insights

is convinced that he was placed
there and plans to help him appeal.

- Imagine he's in prison.
- I know.

- She went too far.
- What should we do?

I have a cruel idea!
Let's save the tiger king!

- We are terrible activists!
- Yes!

- We'll call him. - Yes!

- Wait, how can you have his number?
- I got on speed dial.

I have all the numbers there.

To speak to a prisoner, press 1.

You came to state prison
for wild animal hunters.

Leave a message.

Super sin.

- Hello ?! Can anyone hear me?
- We will continue checking.

Stay there!
I'm turning you into a stomach bag.

Help me get out of here to hell!

Daddy!

Mom!

I'm not in an adventurous mood.

The plane must have crashed here somewhere.

Corner, monkeys! Where the hell am I?

There must be a caravan
camp somewhere nearby.

It is not a luxury resort directly.

I think it's the leadership,
follow or stay away.

But first I have to shit.

The plane crashed here and some
parts ended up here and here.

Did the mother send the search team?

The Amazon terminal for
Isadora Manicotti Exotic.

- Listen to me, exchange.
- I hear you, Jungle 1, Panther 12 here.

- We're looking for a boy.
- Your child can be anywhere.

- So who? - Your son. He's gone.

I have memory loss,
I forget things.

- Difficult to forget things all the time.
- I can imagine.

The treetops continue for miles.
We'd better continue on foot.

- To find my missing son?
- Bingo.

The father is a movie star
and offered a great reward.

What is it? There's someone down there.

- Joe Exotic?
- I'm not sure, but maybe.

It could be him.

Missing child on the river bank!
Is there a ranger here?

This sucks. I didn't want to come
here at all. What a waste of time.

I'm starting to think that you're right.

Someone who knows the terrain can help us.
You know someone, don't you?

- Why are you laughing?
- There is only one who can help you.

- What are you waiting for? Tell me who.
- Brick Fister.

The same man who caused your zip line accident.

Damn it! Shake the maracas!

Good day. Table for one?

Rafiki, give her a margarita,
chips and salsa. Very good.

This table will look fantastic.

Welcome to Casa Anaconda.
How about starting with a few entries?

- I recommend lemur tachiton.
- Looks good.

- Want to know what is special about us?
- Clear.

Tonight we have a wonderful rhino
fajita served with rice, beans

and flaming gorilla feet.

- Do you have sevens? - Go fishing.

Shit too. Can't we play crime
against humanity instead?

- I'm tired of this.
- The forgotten actress is here.

AND? She still doesn't recognize me.
I've done enough damage.

She may have forgotten.

Miss Exotic. I know why you are here.
You know Brick Fister, don't you?

I barely recognized you
without your double. - Stick.

Well then. I can only imagine why you
searched for a pound of acid like me.

Speaking of which, do you have the drink menu?

Excellent range.

So, Isadora Exotic. What brought you here?
Or don't you remember?

Well, my son Joe Exotic was
on a plane that crashed.

- I feel like...
- And you want me to find him?

The man who almost killed you.
Didn't I do enough?

- I forgive you, Brick.
- Forgive me?

If I could forgive myself.
I had taken three LSDs that morning.

- I could have killed you.
- I need your help.

- Not interested. I lost the stinger.
- You owe me that.

My pilot thinks he is at the Tiger Temple
just after the secret diamond mine.

There's something in Joe's suitcase.
Something that reveals my past.

Say yes.
Help me find little Joe Exotic.

This is Uganda Jones.

She is here and is going to hire
Brick Fister to find her son.

- She knows where the diamond mine is.
- Anything else?

The guacamole looks very good.

Cut their way.
If anyone finds out, you're...

Oh no. I will be very rich.

Especially if I find Joe Exotic first.

I did not hear anything.
I would like to order more pork soup.

So you help me find Joe
and restore my memory?

Sure, we're leaving tomorrow.

My God, no more bats!
I'm done with this shitty place.

I would need a
Pucko and a hot tub.

I am beginning to suffer from strong rotting of the wood.

Wait, what is this?

This way!

Don't forget the baby!

I'm coming! Save a place for me!

Wait! Don't forget the baby!
Help! Get me out of here!

Shit too!

- Are you sure you saw something?
- A child or an albino chimpanzee...

- in a red shirt.
- I dont know. You may have had visions.

I dont know.

There is not a soul several kilometers
away. The child was probably eaten.

Speaking of which, why did the
tiger devour the string dance line?

- I dont know.
- He wanted a well-balanced goal.

Talk about jungle humor!

Did you know that two big
breweries are like a sex pack?

We would gain a lot if we
started a comedy cabin.

There is no money in looking
for missing children.

What is it?

A floating device that looks like a coffin.

Someone is doing a garage sale.

It's a life jacket and a children's sweater.

Watch out, furious natives!

Running! You don't have a comedy club.

Shit, the boy has to fend for himself.

Go to hell with you!

Where in the world is my mother?

Coming soon.

- Room service?
- No, I'm your psychologist.

- Dr. Florence Henderson.
- Clear. In between.

The Great Catsby - The Joe Exotic
Story is back after this announcement.

Ladies and gentlemen. Do you like
pizza, pasta or chicken Alfredo

so I can promise you that
you want to come to Zooters.

It is located right in front of the zoo
and you do not have to pay the entrance fee

so sit back and try one of the most
famous pizzas in the world, a cold beer

or something else to drink in an atmosphere
close to tigers you’ve never experienced.

Yes, you heard me right. You can sit on the
veranda next to the living tigers of life

and eat one of the best homemade
pizzas I made from scratch.

And that is a promise from Joe Exotic.

- Joe is a real starter menu.
- Yes, as a businessman!

He's so hot.

Back to The Great Catsby - The Joe
Exotic Story sponsored by Zooters Pizza.

- Thanks for setting up and looking.
- I hope I don't make mistakes again.

Does that remind you?
Work harder.

Leave her alone.
That is not why we are here.

Great words from an acid skull
that caused him problems.

- Look!
- It is a creature that never forgets.

- Why did he come, did you say?
- She invited me.

This is not true, Dr. Henderson
and you know it as much as I do.

Sharpen up, Isadora.
How can you remember that?

Okay, officially I'm done here.
I won't buy pizza Mcnuggets or Zooters

within an hour they will go to hell. Which
father lets his son fly on low cost airlines?

And I don't even like my mom.

She fell off a zip line
and hurt me forever.

Let me go, you bastard!

Let me go!

You're lucky I left my bone knife on
the plane. I know what you are doing!

I saw 'The Predator'.

Where are we somewhere? What is it?

Brick!

A tourist trap.
Haggan recognizes you there, who is she?

- My ex.
- Brick Fister, you're back!

Sumbala Punani answered my prayers.
I knew you would come back.

I promise never to read your text
messages again while you shower.

It's over, Stacy.
I am not here for you.

No, I cannot live without you.
I miss your masculine scent.

Damn cockroaches.

Snuffalubagus, how are you? There are
rumors that you saw a missing boy.

Tell me what you know.

I don't know anything about a boy.
Do you want to buy a basket?

- You dirty liar. Tell me what you know.
- Snuffalubagus has been quarantined.

- I do not know anything. - Oh really?

Is that what is needed?
Money under the table?

- Who bribed you?
- You buy, but first...

- I'm calling the IRS.
- No, not the tax authorities!

- They will examine you.
- It was Uganda Jones.

He plans to kidnap Joe Exotic.

There are laws against this kind of thing.
Child abduction is a serious crime.

- I hope they don't care about me.
- Your Highness, Mowgli can step forward?

- Yes, my crazy subject.
- I want to introduce a young lantis...

- as a victim at the big corporate party.
- Which one of you is wearing patchouli?

- Where did you find the child?
- He walked in the jungle, Your Highness.

This is not an intruder.

And no ordinary child.

No, city flag. This child was
sent here by the great tiger god.

He is a holy being that we must worship.
He will rule a world called Netflix

and get married in a mysterious
triangle and then open a dirty zoo.

The tiger god sent him from heaven! With
dance we will celebrate this great day.

Greetings to the tiger king!

Did Snuffilupagus have any information?

Even though we have had bad
contact, I hope he is alive.

- Brick. Are you alright?
- Mescaline started working.

I took an E at a Farm Aid show once
and woke up next to Minnie Pearl.

Is that the child?

Do not be stupid. The child was wearing a
red sweater. Of course, it is very humid.

He may have taken it off.

No, Joe Exotic is still alive.
I feel.

I hope he has the suitcase.
I have to reveal my mysterious past.

We interrupt with news about Joe Exotic
from the President of the United States.

One of the biggest hits of the
Corona virus on TV is a Netflix show

called Tiger King.
The man in question is a former zoo owner

who received 22 years in prison. He wants you
to forgive him and assert your innocence.

Your son joked yesterday and
said he would bring the case.

It must have been Don.
I felt it was him.

- He said that? 22 years for what?
- He must have hired someone...

for murdering an animal rights
activist, but claims he is innocent.

I will search. Was your name Joe Exotic?

He doesn't need the help
of that orange squishie.

He has us.

Think about how sad he must be now.
Stuck in a cell with scary old men.

- Or it's pure paradise.
- Let's save him, Joey.

- Who are you calling now?
- John Reinke. Him with the robot's legs.

He probably knows what to do. OK...

Hello John. It's Kendra.

Can we talk about zoom?

Yes, perfect!
I will send the link at once.

Two seconds.

OK...

- Well then. - Imagine that
we are going to save a legend.

I know, and it's John.
He cannot make mistakes. Now he is coming.

I'm so happy that
we're finally talking.

- The top.
- You are so popular now.

Yes, it's starting to get popular.

How does it feel to move from
tiger tamer to a real celebrity?

This is very crazy.
I didn't expect it to be that big.

So how did Netflix treat you?
Did they give you trillions?

No, they didn't pay anything, so...
They don't pay documentaries.

What they pay in that case.

When they did the extra episodes,
they had to pay a little for the interview

but as for the documentary
itself, they don't pay for it.

You deserve the whole universe.
I mean.

I was delighted. Then Corona came,
so I can't be on TV or anything.

During the five years that everything was
recorded and the sale of films and photos

so I have maybe $ 12,000

Difficult. How is it to care for a tiger?
Brush your teeth

and dry them when you shower?

It is a lot of work.
I especially miss the kids.

You don't brush your teeth.
You can comb and give them love.

You have to remember that they get
big and can kill you at any time.

You have about a year to play and
swim with them and so on. It's cool.

Do you think we should save Tiger Joe?
And how are we going to do that?

Joe did some bad things. I know that?
Yes, but I worked for him.

It was difficult to leave
the Tigers when I stopped.

I have a camel and a monkey
there and I can't get them back.

My lion died in August
and nobody told me...

and I was going to ride it.
It was difficult to leave the park.

But... There are a lot of things that
are not true, but you have to move on.

- What does 'mount' mean?
- I was going to stop him.

I spent a lot of time with the lion
and I wanted to stop it and keep it.

So, should it be tucked into your
living room, so that you can pet it?

- Yes.
- My God... Too bad it didn't work.

I don't know why he died,
but I'll probably find out someday.

- We give you a virtual hug.
- Like this...

- Thank you.
- So you don't work for Joe anymore...

so what's the biggest secret about
it that you never told anyone?

Wow... I think he had a revolving
door with puppies coming and going.

And by dogs I mean
18 year old boys.

Many. As long as someone left
on the country road, yes...

- It looks elegant.
- Oh my God...

A little like you.

Where do you think Joe got his
fashion influences from? Nightmares?

He's probably gay in him,
but he's been an artist since I met him.

He has always been involved
with magic and shows.

- Black nails, tattooed eyeliner.
- Wow, so everything he did...

so Carol was just a show?
Or was it for real?

No, it was real.
She was literally chasing...

him wherever he was.
In shopping malls, theaters and just...

She attacked the places to get
rid of Joe and ruin his lifestyle.

You tolerate bullies to a certain
extent, but then you explode.

I'm Team Joe. I really want to save
him, I am totally obsessed with him.

But every now and then I hear
things that are not just 'meow'.

So, how is it really?
Is he an angel or a tiger cock?

Somewhere in the middle, I would say.
Your ego is what makes you bad,

but did he do stupid things?
Yes he did. He sold children, yes.

And he must be punished for that.
But 22 years in prison? Do not.

The whole contract murder thing was
created by Jeff Lowe, Allen Glover...

and the Chuckie doll.

Did Joe really marry
the three women?

He married...
Dillon Passage, who he's still with.

And then...

As for Travis and John,
you can't have three husbands

and it was a plow thing,
but it was a whole ceremony and so on.

So which of the three was a wife?

- I would say Dillon.
- Did he sing his own songs?

No, someone else did it for him.

I asked him to sing once to
see if he could really do it

see that he didn't lie,
but he doesn't know how to sing.

Perhaps he should be called the king
of lies, since he constantly lies.

We are great admirers
of his great robot legs.

- Can you jump mountains and stuff?
- I don't know anything about mountains...

- but I will probably overcome them.
- Unbelievable. You are so inspiring.

Thank you, I'm trying to be.

So, is it more cozy to hug
a tiger or his girlfriend?

I will probably be beaten for
it, but I miss hugging my lion.

- So, both at the same time?
- There would be no problems.

Okay, so the last question.
Have you ever seen a zombie Corona?

- No, I do not have.
- They're really scary.

I don't know anyone who has Corona here,
so I don't know how crazy you get, but...

It's not that big here. They are
starting to open things up here again.

- Thank you anyway. - Goodbye!

- Wow.
- What in the whole coat...

Once again for the BPN special series
The Great Catsby - The Joe Exotic Story.

Isadora, this is your ex-husband,
Chip Exotic. I hope you remember me.

I'm looking for little Joe.
Call me when you hear this. Thank you.

- Where are you going, sir?
- Run into the middle of the jungle.

No problem, boss!

Ladies and gentlemen, savages and angels.
Join this incredible celebration

while we lubricate little Joe
Exotic, the future tiger king!

And now directly from your room at the
Planet Hollywood Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada.

A warm applause for the girl who always takes
the tiger by the tail, Miss. Lelani Shapiro.

We will!

So, yes, the bride! You look like
a Kim Kardashian with a stubble.

I would like to have a swing
like that on my balcony.

I want to see a casting.

We will!

Good afternoon friends.

So yes, the bride!

Did you bring conversation?

What is... conversation?

Forget.
We set up camp before nightfall.

The Tiger Temple is
just a few miles away.

Keep your eyes open.
There are headhunters everywhere.

I hope you have alvedon.

- How long have you known the psychologist?
- I do not remember...

but he says that I am
making great progress.

- It seems so.
- What do you mean?

Just stay away from your chair.

I don't see where we're going.

I dropped a sandal.

Low!

My God,
it's a coronavirus-shaped piñata.

These headhunters have a sick sense of humor.

My name is Chip Exotic
and I have an appointment.

We are waiting for you.
He is finishing his Pilates training.

I understand your great sadness, Mr. Exotic, but you
are talking about a child in the middle of the Amazon.

It is dangerous and believe me, the Catholic
Church knows more about boys than anyone else.

Joe Exotic is special. Someone must have
a plane or an excavator that I can borrow.

I'll call Father Wright
at the jungle church.

- Thank you, Pickles.
- He's freelance as a smoke writer.

Maybe he can drop you
off at the crash site.

I hope you haven't misunderstood.
I'm a big fan and I designed you.

If Joe is in the area, the villagers will
tell us, otherwise, we will shoot them.

We leave when you've made breakfast...

like a slut.

Crispy bacon.

Your pussy.

- Wonderful night. Isn't that right, Ramón?
- Yes, Mr. Brick.

- My passport. Do it like a banana
and share. - Yes, Mr. Brick.

Excuse me Miss. Aren't you Isadora
Manicotti Exotic, the famous actress?

I used to be that.

Before falling out of favor... and 30
meters below between tangled steel cables.

- You made your way through the tree there.
- Fortunately I don't remember.

I tried to look for you, but it was
difficult. I was stoned with mushrooms.

- But you're not tall now.
- You don't know that.

- Who am I to judge?
- Brick, I managed to fall and eat.

I woke up and realized I had a son.
As little as I feel for him

I feel you in my fragment.

I hope you haven't forgotten
how to suck someone.

And I hope you don't
mind yeast infections.

What do you think I look
like platinum blonde hair?

- Manicure and pedicure day for the
tiger king. - Do you want French nails?

No thanks, but happy waxed legs.
Do you grow your eyebrows?

Yes, and then you get a tan without the sun.

What's the matter with that Mowgli?
I don't trust that idiot.

This is a paradise. I haven't felt
so relaxed since I went into a coma.

Be able to worry about water
lizards when you are a sore bride.

She is blowing bubbles...

I may have forgotten my baby, but I
can still fuck like a son of a bitch.

Pull the pulleys.

This jungle is full
of mysterious gases.

Yes, Mr. Brick.

- Crumble my amphetamine pills.
- Where's my patient?

Yes, where did she go?

Isadora?

It's Brick Fister. The man you fell in
love with on that palm tree last night

The guy you did where I never
let a woman do to me before.

At least not in this area.

We must continue.
We are close to the Tiger Temple now.

Rick, stay there.
Someone stole my panties.

Believe me. You don't want to see
me without them. My ass is so big

I rolled a crown once
and caught four 25 trout.

- You are desperate. - And you are
a good bride with poor hygiene.

Now let's look for
your rotten boy.

- She has a C-cup. It means lemon.
- She just, I have it in my head.

- Here you receive a gift of sacrifice.
- Sure, sure.

- I'm giving you this potato.
- Nonsense!

- And a magic corncob.
- Never heard of gift cards?

If I am a king, then where is my
baby tiger? Deodorize, you stink.

Joe Exotic is an idiot.

No, you heard Grand Poobah.
He says the child was selected.

The tiger god spoke,
he was not a joy killer.

The tiger god makes bad decisions.
The child is very difficult.

Joe Exotic must die,
Mowgli is more suited as a tiger king.

Mowgli is prettier in the crown and
I won a swimsuit competition once.

Mowgli's response to the greatest
desire was peace on earth.

Joe Exotic is just an ordinary slut.

- You really look great in a bikini. - He
must sacrifice himself. Exotic Joe must die.

Dad, my name is Chip Exotic. The actress
whose children disappeared in the jungle.

I heard this. I love amateur radio.

- You must have a plan.
- Father Mandalorian is a pilot.

He has to take me to the jungle.
I have money.

- Money is the secret word. We will.
- Thank you, Pickles.

I always wondered what you
monks wear under your robes.

Prince Machiavelli and Fredrik
of Hollywood, of course.

We've been walking for four hours.
Shouldn't we be at the diamond mine now?

- The temple, I mean.
- Brick knows what he's doing.

Damn it too!

Of course yes.
Someone is starting to get shallow.

We are hunted. This way.

- Little Joe could have died.
- He's not tall enough.

Perhaps we should let your
psychologist guide us.

The murderous force comes to the service!

What is it? I said camoflage.
This is too much.

It looked like you were dressed in
Mardi Gras. Stick! Pick them up!

If your son has been here, the villagers
should know, but they are cannibals per se.

- Do we have to sit in the same place?
- Blah! Cannibals?

Look, Uganda Jones!

I hope it doesn't shock you.

- Welcome to Fantasy Island.
- I'm here for my son.

We have substitutes.

I'll just install a cable.

Stay still!

Great Joe Fister, see you again.

Uganda Jones. You must have trained.

Thanks to Nutri Systems, hacking people
to death is excellent for fitness.

Dear God in heaven,
please take care of little Joe.

Please help him to survive so that he
is the great man that I know he will be.

A big, mischievous man with
high-heeled boots and eyeliner.

Trapped in the jungle and
crowned tiger king at six?

And a mother with memory loss?
Who knew your childhood was so difficult?

So, Joey Joe Joe.

Anesthetics take up to 20 minutes
to start acting on an animal.

And I swear it was the
first time I saw him.

- The tiger king is kind of a tiger cock.
- What a tiger shit.

I hope he leaves and lives a life with
all these toothless amphetamine roles.

A life full of suffering.
This would teach you a lesson.

Wow... You got over him too fast.

I've been with thousands like him...
but never again.

He can change when he leaves.

A tiger never moves.

Can we... order pizza?

Yes! But not from Zooters.

This is very intrusive.
I want to speak to your supervisor.

- And now, Joe Exotic... - No!

There! No!

- What do you think of my summer house?
- Glad you kept the wooden floor.

The area has been completely renovated.
You can no longer loot a village.

But I couldn't say no
to the acoustic ceiling.

My wife knows that I get food and
kidnapping, so I had to choose a cave.

We're eating some portions on the porch
before I interrogate and torture you.

None of us can find Joe Exotic, so tell
us where the diamond mine is instead.

- Do not touch him! - To reverse!

- Just tell me where mine is.
- I dont know.

Brick Fister can do that in that case.
It is our only chance to survive.

I swear I hate you all.
I hope you have scorpions in the nets.

Who also eats piss ants for breakfast?

No, Smokey. He is the chosen one.
Joe Exotic is the tiger king.

I don't even want to be
the stupid tiger king.

Kill me so I don't suffer.
Let Mowgli be king.

But can anyone teach you how
to put on the wig correctly?

Give me a knife. Scammers!

So much for being a team player. And now
Joe Exotic. Mowgli quit his job alone.

Quickly, distract Mowgli by
burning the whole village!

You must replace the battery in the fire alarm.

Feed me.

- Where's the diamond mine?
- I'm Dr. Florence Henderson.

I just dress up as an adventurer.

It seems that the psychologist was
ready for battle. For what reason?

Maybe the boy never left? Maybe you just
wanted to be cheated and stolen jewelry.

Nobody is cheating Uganda Jones.

- Behind you!
- Who's the hot jungle bride?

Okay, it was a disgusting pool.

My wife was about to get egg rolls!

Retreat!

This flower smells like Jim
Morrison's leather bras on the inside!

Can someone please...

Delete my search history...

Who was the beautiful woman?

Joe Exotic, come with me.

Calm down, I'm taking anticoagulants.

Faster, I just stepped on a mung.

This way, my son.
I bring you to safety.

Ugandan men said the crash
site is where the river curves.

I will check my e-mails for so long.

It may be dangerous. Stay here.

You're right.
Maybe I should just watch the birds,

Grab a monkey or find a Starbucks.

Normally, I would have stayed
away from the secret diamond mine.

Keep an eye on him.
It is illegal to own monkeys.

Wouldn't it be better without the wig?

If we don't come back in half an hour,
the adventure is officially over.

Okay, Isadora. Don't forget to breathe.

- Quick, dear tiger king.
- I hurt my heel.

No danger, tiger king.
We took shelter in a hollow tree...

- and I will raise you as my son.
- I prefer to be eaten by jackals.

Oops. Hi then, gold.

Lelani, no!

- My fault. - Oh, Mowgli.

Yes my pretty?

The baby disappeared.
He remains the only tiger king.

Go to him.

I would give anything for
a classic quarantine now.

From the frying pan to the fire.

Come back, Joe Exotic.

Joe Exotic must die!

Can anyone call BRIS?

My God... What a destruction.

Here is the trunk. Stay close and
prepare for the worst, Isabela.

And keep an eye on the drinks cart.

We can only hope that the airline
does not neglect its luggage.

I just realized that I
didn't insure Joe's suitcase.

Do you get flight points
even if the plane crashes?

- Good question. How was the suitcase?
Pink with Hello Kitty stickers.

- I found!
- Great, now we're leaving here.

Hungry piranhas at 12 o'clock.

Finally, my mysterious
suffering can end forever.

With my powers I summon the great
tiger god to protect Joe Exotic...

- and help you get home safely.
- No way!

Don't touch me, pedophile!

Where he will live forever a chaste
life with sporadic drug extravaganzas.

- Dr. Henderson! We found Joe's suitcase.
- We can finally get out.

- We opened the suitcase. - Isadora.

I don't know if it's the right place
to take the contents out of the bag.

Hold the tab, Florence.

What if you don't like the find?
If your condition worsens?

What if it's just underwear
for kids and fruit candy?

We must continue. It will soon be dark
and that means a lot of mosquitoes.

The diamond mine, I mean,
the tiger temple is only a few miles away.

- And the child?
- It's my ex-husband's diary.

- So feminine.
- Read later and we'll make cakes.

Maybe I should go on without you.
I can leave a trail of crumbs.

When my wife Isabela starts to wake up from
a coma, it is obvious that the memories

completely betrays it and makes
me rot with guilt and worry.

I recovered faster than she
did and the locals saved me.

Especially a mysterious dark-haired
beauty that the locals call Tigra.

One night when Tigra gave me
the daily banana oil massage...

we found ourselves drinking Mai Thais
at the Tiger Temple, where we practice

crazy, extramarital sex
in several unorthodox...

Scaffolding! Even more is!
Take me to the diamond mine now.

Yes, exactly. I'm not a doctor.
Florence Henderson was the mother

and 'Brady Bunch'.

You bastard...

The reason you never met a
bond with young Joe Exotic...

because you are not his mother.

The mysterious Tigra is...

the sorcerer around here.

So is she the mother of Joe Exotic?

I don't know what else to say.
You don't get the chalk!

I don't want to be here. I just want a
club and see Justin Bieber's Instagram.

May the great tiger god
always look after him.

May it be overflowing with wealth
and be seen by millions of people.

You too, bitch.

Hi then, Felicia.

Hold the wig, bride.

May he become a presidential candidate, have
magical performances and be totally free.

What the hell was that?

Exit the stage on the left. Damn it too!

And now? Daddy! Daddy!

Daddy! Don't eat me, I have Corona.

- Daddy! - Joe Exotic!

- I heard it! He's down here.
- Daddy!

- Joe Exotic! - Daddy!

- Joe Exotic! Fight, boy!
- Hurry up!

Dad is coming!

Hurry up!

Joe! Are you alive.
My God, Joe, you are unharmed.

Take my hand, my son.

Fight, my son.

I have quicksand between my buttocks.

Who are these two and how many
thousands have kept homes?

Sorry, I sent you here.
You would meet 'mommy' one last time.

Haven't you heard of FaceTime?

- Thank God. You are unharmed, my son.
- They called me tiger king.

But it's you, Joe. The world is very happy
when they discover that you are alive.

But I'm dead inside. I hope my colleague
Carol Baskin has not forgotten me.

You will know each
other for a long time.

Let's go home.

All the while, I felt guilty as
if I were an emotional bitch.

Yes, and now you know you're not cold.
Now you know the truth.

Your husband spied someone
while you were gone.

Complex? Yes, but now you can let it go.

I'm so happy that he was a scammer.

Got it.

Now that I don’t have any
children, I’ve gotten a lot better

- I understand too.
- Let's go back to the tent...

and celebrate by speeding
up your Petter-Niklas.

If you promise you will never forget me.

What is your name?

Not even. Who are you?

Dad, what do you say I'm
getting hockey ruffles?

I've been thinking and I
think I want to be famous.

Thank you, Pickles.

- It was so random. - The writers
probably embellished it a little.

But honestly...

- Where's the pizza delivery?
- I dont know...

but if he doesn’t come,
I’ll pretend to give him a tip.

Really.

Just a moment!

- Mask! Protection and quarantine.
- Safety comes first.

Delicious pizza!

Corona...

Corona...

Corona!

Corona!

Corona!

- You dead bastard! - Corona!

- Oh, no... We became Carol Baskinade.
- She can never kiss us, miss.

- Claw forward, tigers!
- Now we're fighting in the jungle.

Wait. Who's gonna save
us if we're stuck here?

- That sucks! - Wait, I know!

- My God... What happens now?
- Everything is better than those cats.

Yes!

Now, Barbie!

I'm here to lead... the Department
of Defense and the Pentagon...

to start immediately what is needed
to establish a space force...

as the sixth division of the Armed Forces.
A great announcement.

We will have the Air
Force and the Space Force.

Barbie and Kendra in Space Weapon.

Translation: Jon
Underdahl Ordiovision

- We want to know how you met Brandy.
- Yes you know...

Everyone thought I had a good
marriage for 30 years, but I didn't.

I rarely met her and she never
wanted to think about anything.

It was about my happiness.

She was a waitress and served
me coffee every morning.

Okay, great! So when it
happened, Brandy, you were...

Was it during or before the program?

- It was in the meantime.
- So you knew what was going on...

and who was John.

- She knew all about the conversations
with the FBI. - You fit so well together.

- I've never been happier.
- The top.

Do you know that the girls who interviewed
you in your roles are really like that?

- They are almost the same.
- It's quiet.

It would have been fun if they switched to
an English pronunciation, but it doesn't.

Everything you saw is fictional.
All similarities to reality are random.

OpenSubtitles recommends using Nord VPN
from 3.49 USD/month ----> osdb.link/vpn