Barbie (2023) - full transcript

Barbie and Ken are having the time of their lives in the colorful and seemingly perfect world of Barbie Land. However, when they get a chance to go to the real world, they soon discover the joys and perils of living among humans.

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Original Sub By ViKramJS

Since the beginning of time,

since the first little
girl ever existed,

there have been dolls.

But the dolls were always
and forever baby dolls.

The girls who played with them

could only ever play
at being mothers.

Which can be fun, at
least for a while, anyway.

Ask your mother.

This continued until...

Yes, Barbie changed everything.



Then, she changed it all again.

All of these women are Barbie,

and Barbie is all
of these women.

She might have started out as
just a lady in a bathing suit,

but she became so much more.

She has her own
money, her own house,

her own car, her own career.

Because Barbie can be anything,
women can be anything.

And this has been reflected back

onto the little girls of
today in the Real World.

Girls can grow into women,

who can achieve everything

and anything they
set their mind to.

Thanks to Barbie,



all problems of feminism and
equal rights have been solved.

At least that's what
the Barbies think.

After all, they're
living in Barbie Land.

Who am I to burst their bubble?

And here is one of
those Barbies now,

living her best day every day.

♪ When I wake up ♪

♪ In my own pink world ♪

♪ I get up out of bed and
wave to my homegirls ♪

♪ Hey, Barbie, hey ♪

♪ She's so cool ♪

♪ All dolled up ♪

♪ Just playing
chess by the pool ♪

♪ Come on, we got
important things to do ♪

♪ It's her and her
and me and you ♪

♪ And pink goes
with everything ♪

♪ Beautiful from head to toe ♪

♪ I'm read' to go
You know, you know ♪

♪ It's pink Good
enough to drink ♪

♪ We like other colors but ♪

♪ Pink just looks
so good on us ♪

♪ What you wearing?
Dress or suit? ♪

♪ Either way, that power
looks so good on you ♪

♪ Hey, Barbie I
like your style ♪

♪ If that was really a mirror
you'd see a perfect smile ♪

♪ Round and round and
round and round and ♪

♪ That's my Barbie ♪

♪ Go Barbie, go Barbie ♪

♪ That's my Barbie ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ That's my Barbie ♪

♪ Go Barbie, go Barbie ♪

♪ That's my Barbie ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Come on, we got
important things to do ♪

♪ It's her and her
and me and you ♪

♪ And pink goes
with everything ♪

♪ Beautiful from head to toe ♪

♪ I'm read' to go
You know, you know ♪

- ♪ It's pink ♪
- ♪ Pretty pink ♪

- ♪ Good enough to drink ♪
- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ We like other colors but ♪

♪ Pink just looks
so good on us ♪

♪ P, pretty ♪

♪ I, intelligent ♪

♪ N, never sad ♪

♪ K, cool ♪

When you're playing
with Barbies...

Hi, Barbie.

Nobody bothers to walk
them down the stairs

and out the door, et cetera.

You just pick them up

and put them where
you want them to go.

♪ You'd better fly
Girl, yeah, yeah ♪

You use your imagination.

♪ Hey, I was still singin' ♪

- Hi, Barbie.
- Hi, Skipper.

- Hi, Barbie.
- And Midge.

Midge was Barbie's
pregnant friend.

- ♪ Hey, Midge ♪ - Let's
not show Midge, actually.

She was discontinued by Mattel

because a pregnant
doll is just too weird.

Anyway, Barbie has another
big day ahead of her.

- Hi, Barbie.
- Morning, Barbie. Hi.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- Another great day.
- Good morning, Barbie.

Hi.

- Hey, ladies. Hi.
- Good morning!

Everybody, turn to the Barbie next to
you. Tell her how much you love her.

Compliment her.

Reporter Barbie, you can ask
me any question you want.

Well, how come
you're so amazing?

No comment.

♪ Black Barbie, President
Black Barbie, President ♪

No, seriously, no comment.

Ah, I love you guys.

The Nobel Prize for
Journalism goes to... Barbie.

I work very hard,
so I deserve it.

And the Nobel Prize
for Literature

goes to... Barbie.

- You're the voice of a generation.
- I know.

In our assessment,
money is not speech,

and corporations have no free
speech rights to begin with.

So any claim on their part
to be exercising a right

is just their attempt to turn
our democracy into a plutocracy.

This makes me emotional,
and I'm expressing it.

I have no difficulty
holding both logic

and feeling at the same time.

And it does not
diminish my powers.

It expands them.

♪ Oh, pink ♪

Hi, Barbie.

What can't Barbie do?

Hi, Barbie.

Yay, space!

Gosh.

♪ See you later ♪

Barbie has a great
day every day,

but Ken only has a great
day if Barbie looks at him.

Hi, Barbie!

Hi, Ken.

- Hi, Barbie!
- Hi, Barbie!

Hi, Barbie.

- Hi, Ken.
- Hi, Ken.

- Hi, Ken.
- Hi, Ken.

- Hi, Ken.
- I got us both ice creams.

- Cool.
- Hi, Barbie.

- Hi, Barbie.
- Hi, Barbie.

- Hi, Barbie.
- Hi, Barbie.

Hi, Barbie.

- Hi, Barbie!
- Hi, Ken.

- Hi, Barbie.
- Hi, Ken.

- Hi, Barbie.
- Hi, Barbie.

Hi, Barbies.

- Bye, Barbies.
- Bye, Barbie.

Hi, Barbie.

Oh, hi, Allan.

There are no multiples of
Allan. He's just Allan.

Yeah, I'm, I...
confused about that.

Hey, Barbie. Check me out.

Ken!

- Ooh!
- No!

Oh!

Whoa!

Oh, no!

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, no!

That's gotta hurt.

- Ken.
- Oh, hey, Barbie.

- Hi.
- How much of that did you see?

We saw the whole thing.

Let's get you up on your
feet, Ken. There you go.

- You guys are so strong.
- Use your legs. There he is.

- You okay?
- Yep. Totally.

Looks like this beach was a little
too much beach for you, Ken.

If I wasn't severely injured,

I would beach you
off right now, Ken.

I'll beach off with
you any day, Ken.

Hold my ice cream, Ken.

All right, Ken, you're on.

Let's beach off.

Anyone who wants
to beach him off

has to beach me off first.

I will beach both of you
off at the same time.

But you don't even know
how to beach yourself off.

How you gonna beach
both of us off?

- Uh, Kens?
- It doesn't make sense.

- Why are you getting emotional?
- So you can beach yourself off!

Come on, Kens. Nobody's
gonna beach anyone off.

Okay?

Let's go.

- Okay, okay.
- Okay.

- You did so well.
- You still hurt?

We'll get you fixed up.

- Go!
- Go!

- Barbie, hold my hand!
- You're okay.

Stay with me, Barbie!

Great.

Not even broken.
You'll be fine.

Shredding waves is much more
dangerous than people realize.

You're very brave, Ken.

- Thank you, Barbie.
- Yeah.

- You know surfer is not even my job.
- I know.

And it is not lifeguard, which
is a common misconception.

- Very common.
- Because actually my job...

- it's just beach.
- Right.

And what a good job
you do at beach.

You should heal up in no time.

Actually, in the time
that it took for me

to say that
sentence, you healed.

- Fantastic.
- Nice.

- Hey, Barbie.
- Yeah?

Can I come to your
house tonight?

- Sure. I don't have anything big planned.
- Yes.

Just a giant blowout
party with all the Barbies

and planned choreography
and a bespoke song.

You should stop by.

- So cool.
- Yeah.

- Okay. Bye.
- Okay. Bye. Goodbye.

♪ Baby, you can find
me under the lights ♪

♪ Diamonds under my eyes ♪

♪ Turn the rhythm up
Don't you wanna just ♪

♪ Come along for the ride? ♪

♪ Ooh, my outfit so tight ♪

♪ You can see my
heartbeat tonight ♪

♪ I can take the heat
Baby, best believe ♪

♪ That's the moment I shine ♪

♪ 'Cause every romance
shakes and it bends ♪

♪ Don't give a damn ♪

♪ When the night's
here I don't do tears ♪

♪ Baby, no chance ♪

♪ I could dance, I could
dance I could dance ♪

♪ Watch me dance
Dance the night away ♪

♪ My heart could be burnin' ♪

♪ But you won't
see it on my face ♪

♪ Watch me dance ♪

- ♪ Dance the night away ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I'll still keep
the party runnin' ♪

♪ Not one hair out of place ♪

♪ Place, place ♪

♪ Lately, I've been
movin' close to the edge ♪

♪ Still be lookin' my best ♪

♪ I stay on the beat,
you can count on me ♪

♪ I ain't missin' no steps ♪

♪ 'Cause every romance
shakes and it bends ♪

♪ Don't give a damn ♪

♪ When the night's here... ♪

- Hi, Barbie.
- Hi, Ken.

♪ I could dance, I could
dance I could dance ♪

♪ Watch me ♪

- Looking good, Barbie.
- Thanks, Ken.

♪ Dance the night away ♪

♪ My heart could be burnin' ♪

♪ But you won't
see it on my face ♪

♪ Watch me dance ♪

♪ Dance the night away ♪

♪ I'll still keep
the party runnin' ♪

♪ Not one hair out of place ♪

- Oh, hi, Ken.
- Hi!

- Yes, yes, yes!
- Hi, Barbie.

- Hi, Barbie.
- Barbies!

What's up, Ken?

♪ I don't play safe ♪

- ♪ Don't you know about me? ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I could dance, I could
dance I could dance ♪

Hey, Barbie. Check me out.

♪ I'll still keep
the party runnin' ♪

♪ Not one hair out of place ♪

Bet you can't do a
flip like that, Ken!

What?

This is a real rager, Barbie.

Thanks, Barbie. Gosh, this
night is just perfect.

It's perfectly perfect.

And you look so
beautiful, Barbie.

Thanks, Barbie. I
feel so beautiful.

- So do I.
- This is the best day ever.

It is the best day ever.

And so is yesterday,
and so is tomorrow,

and so is the day after
tomorrow and even Wednesdays

and every day from
now until forever.

Yeah, Barbie!

You guys ever think about dying?

I don't know why
I just said that.

I'm just dying to dance.

♪ I don't play safe ♪

- ♪ Don't you know about me? ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I could dance, I could
dance I could dance ♪

♪ Dance the night ♪

♪ Give you the world
on a silver platter ♪

♪ But it ain't gon' matter ♪

♪ Give you the world
on a silver platter ♪

♪ But it ain't gon' matter ♪

Wow.

You can go now.

I thought I might
stay over tonight.

Why?

Because we're
girlfriend/boyfriend.

To do what?

I'm actually not sure.

- Oh, but I don't want you here.
- Mmm-hmm.

Is it Ken?

Ken's just a really good friend.

And this is my Dreamhouse.
It's Barbie's Dreamhouse.

It's not Ken's
Dreamhouse. Right?

Right as always.

Okay. And it's girls' night.

Come on, Barbie! Slumber party!

Hurry up. The President's here.

I am. You're welcome.

- Every night is girls' night.
- Mmm-hmm. Every night. Forever.

- Every night.
- Forever and ever.

- Good night.
- Good night.

I love you, too.

Girls' night! Girls' night!

Girls' night! Girls' night!

I can't. I gotta go.

Girls' night! Girls'
night! Girls' night!

Girls' night! Girls'
night! Girls' night!

Good night, Barbies! I'm definitely
not thinking about death anymore.

♪ When I wake up in
my own pink world ♪

Hi, Barbie.

♪ I get up out of bed and
wave to my homegirls ♪

- ♪ Hey, Barbie ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

- ♪ Why so stressed? ♪
- Hi, Barbie.

♪ Could it be those
irrepressible... ♪

- Hi, Barbie.
- ♪ ...thoughts of death ♪

♪ Come on, we got important
things to... Ooh! ♪

♪ It's her, and her
and me and you ♪

♪ And pink goes
with everything ♪

♪ Oh, that's cold ♪

♪ Beautiful from head to toe ♪

♪ I'm read' to go
You know, you know ♪

♪ It's pink It's
gonna be all right ♪

♪ Good enough to drink ♪

♪ We like other colors but ♪

♪ Pink just looks
so good on us ♪

♪ P, panic ♪

- ♪ I, I'm scared ♪

♪ N, nauseous ♪

♪ K, death ♪

♪ That's my Barbie ♪

♪ Go Barbie, go Barbie ♪

♪ That's my Barbie
Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

Ahh!

Oh. Ooh, girl, you okay?

Hi, Barbie.

I'm fine. A-okay.

- You got it, Barbie.
- Let's go, Barbie!

Great cheer, Kens.

High five!

Hey, Barbie.

- Come on, Barbie. Let's run towards the water.
- Okay.

Oh.

Oh! My feet!

Oh, no.

Yes! So good!

Hey, Barbie.

- Hi.
- Are you okay?

- Hey, Barbie.
- Yeah, Barbie. I just fell.

- Fell?
- I'm so embarrassed.

- Barbie doesn't get embarrassed.
- I know.

Barbie, I don't even
have context for this,

but my feet... my heels
are on the ground.

I'm no longer on tiptoes.

That's okay. Let me see.

Flat feet!

Oh, no!

Stop it, Ken.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I know I'm Stereotypical Barbie

and therefore don't
form conjectures

concerning the causality of
adjacent unfolding events,

but some things have been
happening that might be related.

Bad breath this
morning, a cold shower,

burnt waffle, and
falling off my roof.

You're malfunctioning.

What? No, I'm just, I'm...

Am I?

I've never seen this kind of malfunction
before. It's usually just hair-related.

You know, you're gonna
have to visit Weird Barbie.

I have never had to
visit Weird Barbie.

That's because you've
never malfunctioned.

I heard that she used to be the
most beautiful Barbie of all,

but then someone played with
her too hard in the Real World.

- ♪ Colors of the world ♪

- ♪ Spice up your life ♪
- ♪ Every boy and every girl ♪

♪ Spice up your life ♪

- ♪ People of the world ♪
- ♪ Spice up your life ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

- ♪ Slam me to the left ♪ - ♪
If you're having a good time ♪

♪ Shake it to the right ♪

And now she's fated to an eternity
of making other Barbies perfect

while falling more and more
into disrepair herself.

That, and we all
call her Weird Barbie

both behind her back
and also to her face.

She's so weird.

Why is she always in the splits?

I would never wear heels if
my feet were shaped this way.

Hello?

Woof.

Oh.

Bark.

Woof.

Bark.

Hey.

What's cookin', good-lookin'?

- Hi.
- Welcome.

Welcome to my Weirdhouse.

- Hi, how are ya?
- Nice to meet you.

Sorry about the dog crap.
What can I do ya for?

I just had to come
see you about my feet.

They're, um...

- Flat.
- Yeah.

Never seen that before.

- Really?
- Whoa.

Okay. Well, can you,
you know, fix them?

You're Stereotypical
Barbie, right?

Mmm-hmm.

That Ken of yours, he is one
nice-looking little protein pot.

I guess.

I'd like to see what kind of nude
blob he's packing under those jeans.

- Anyway, what preceded this?
- Oh, nothing.

A really fun game of volleyball.

- That's it?
- Thoughts of death.

What is it?

Maybe some thoughts of death?

Thoughts of death!

- Is that a problem?
- Oh.

- What?
- I've heard of this.

Of course, I didn't think it
was possible, but it's real.

Oh, you've done it.
You've opened a portal.

I didn't open a portal.

Someone did. And now, there
is a rip in the continuum

that is the membrane between
Barbie Land and the Real World,

and if you wanna be Stereotypical
Barbie perfect again,

then, baby girl,
you gotta go fix it.

Or you're gonna keep going
funny. Look at your upper thigh.

- What is that?
- That's cellulite.

- That's gonna spread everywhere.
- What?

And then you're gonna start getting
sad and mushy and complicated.

No!

What do I have to do?

You have to go

- to the Real World.
- Okay.

And you have to find the
girl who's playing with you.

Playing with me?

We're all being
played with, babe.

But usually there's some
kind of separation. Thanks.

There's the girl and the doll.
And never the twain shall cross.

- The twain is crossing?
- Yes.

And the girl who's playing
with you, she must be sad,

and her thoughts and
feelings and humanness

are interfering
with your dollness.

Why would she be sad?

We fixed everything so that
all women in the Real World

can be happy and powerful.

I don't know, but if you ask me,

- you had something to do with this, too.
- Me?

- Takes two to rip a portal.
- I can't have.

I've only ever wanted

for everything to
stay exactly as it is.

Well, be that as it may,

the two of you are becoming
inextricably intertwined.

And you gotta help
her to help yourself.

So, should... Whoo!

So, what'll it be then?

You can go back to
your regular life

and forget any of
this ever happened,

or you can know the
truth about the universe.

The choice is now yours.

The first one. The high heel.

No. We'll do a re-do.

You're supposed to want to know.

I don't.

Mmm. Babe, listen.

You have to want to
know, okay? Do it again.

I'm not Adventure Barbie.
I'm Stereotypical Barbie.

I'm like the Barbie you think of

when someone says,
"Think of a Barbie."

That's me.

I'm bummed. You're a
bummer. That's a bummer.

Okay, I'm ready to forget now.

No! You're doing this one!

I just gave you a choice so you
could feel some sense of control.

- So there is no option one?
- No!

You have to fix
the rip yourself.

Don't blame me, blame
Mattel. They make the rules.

Oh, I don't want to.

Fine, get cellulite.
I don't care.

No! No, no, no.
No. Okay. Yeah.

Send me through the portal.

Okay. There's
actually no portal.

- Oh.
- It's a figure of speech.

It's actually a sports
car to a speedboat,

to a rocket ship,
to a tandem bike,

to a camper van, fun,
to a snowmobile, brr,

which will take
you most of the way

to the state of Los Angeles,

where you will don
neon and Rollerblades,

and enter the country
of California.

Weird, I know. Best if you
don't think about it too much.

And then when I get there,
how do I find this girl?

You will know.

Okay. And how do I get back?

The same way you
came, but in reverse.

Like I should move forward but
do the order backward or go...

- Don't overthink it.
- Oh. Okay.

For you see, if you do not
find her and fix things,

what's ugly will become uglier,

and what's weird
will become weirder.

And then you'll look like me.

Ahh! Oh.

Sorry.

I understand. I set
myself up for that.

- Anyway, I believe in you.
- Thank you.

Go. Be careful. I love you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bon voyage to reality,

and good luck
restoring the membrane

that separates our
world from theirs

so you don't get cellulite!

- I guess she's going without you.
- You're so lost, Ken.

She literally asked me.

And I was like, "I
prefer to stay here."

Why? Are you scared?

- No.
- I bet you're scared.

And I bet she doesn't
even want you to go.

Well, you bet both those
things incorrectly,

and I bet in the
opposite direction.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Which way is that?

You don't even know.

I just don't want to leave. I'm
trying to find reasons not to leave.

Please stay.

I'm gonna miss you guys so much.

I just wish someone could
come with me, but you can't.

I should do this alone.

- What bird am I thinking of?
- Parrot.

Dolphin. I mean, no, a bird.

Pelican.

- Ohh.
- Man.

We'll miss you, Barbie.

I'll be back in no
time, with perfect feet,

and we'll forget that
this ever happened.

And you'll get to see all the good
work we've done to fix the world.

You'll be such a hero to them.

All those grateful,
powerful women

who owe their wonderful
lives to Barbie.

I'll bet every woman
will say thank you

and give you a really big hug.

Yes, you're right. Here I go.

- Bye.
- Yay!

- Bye, Barbie.
- Bye.

Bye, Barbie. Good
luck in reality.

Watch for cellulite!

- - ♪ I went to the doctor
I went to the mountains ♪

♪ I looked to the children
I drank from the fountains ♪

♪ There's more than one
answer to these questions ♪

♪ Pointing me in
a crooked line ♪

♪ And the less I seek my
source for some definitive ♪

♪ Closer I am to fine ♪

- ♪ Closer I am to fi...
- ♪ Closer I am to fi...

What are you doing here?

I'm coming with you.

- No. Please get out.
- I can't.

I made a double bet with Ken,

and you can't make me look
uncool in front of Ken.

Ken's not cool!

He is to me.

You're just gonna slow me down.

Barbie, what if there's beach?

You'll need someone who's
a professional in that.

Did you bring your Rollerblades?

I literally go
nowhere without them.

- Please?
- Okay.

Wow.

Let's do this.

- Can I sit in the front?
- No.

And so Barbie and Ken set off

on their adventure
to the Real World.

♪ Somewhere else
there is to see ♪

♪ The future is a mystery ♪

- ♪ I wonder what
we'll see when we ♪

- Ah!
- ♪ Get to ♪

- ♪ The Real World ♪

Hi!

♪ We're going to ♪

♪ The Real World ♪

- Barbie...
- Wow.

Yes!

Wow. This is the Real World.

Barbie, I told you
there'd be beach.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Oh, yeah!

What's going on?

Give us a smile, blondie.

Why are these men looking at me?

Yeah, they're also
staring at me.

Ooh, love that!

Wow!

I feel kind of ill
at ease. Like...

I don't know the word
for it, but I'm...

Nice leotard.

Conscious, but it's myself
that I'm conscious of.

I'm not getting any of that.

I feel what could only
be described as admired.

- Damn, girl!
- But not ogled.

You're hot.

And there's no
undertone of violence.

Mine very much has an
undertone of violence.

Oh, look, a construction site.

We need that good
feminine energy.

- Yeah.
- Ladies! Yoo-hoo.

- Oh.
- You got fries with that shake?

If I said you had a hot body,
would you hold it against me?

Have I died and gone to heaven?

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

- Baby, you are an angel.
- I can see myself in your shorts.

I don't know exactly what you meant
with all of those little quips,

but I'm picking up on
some sort of entendre,

which appears to be double,

and I would just
like to inform you,

I do not have a vagina.

And he does not have a penis.

We don't have genitals.

- That's okay.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, whatever. Yeah.
- It's cool.

I have all the genitals.

Geez, you would think a
construction site at lunch time

would be the perfect place
for a little woman power,

but this one was so... male.

Everything is almost
like... reversed here.

Oh, look!

The Supreme Court.

- They're so smart.
- Yeah.

Yeah, bruh! Do it, bro!

I love me a leotard.

I love the elbow pads.

I think we should get
some different clothes.

We look great.

- I love fringe.
- I love denim.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hey, man.

You guys gotta pay
for that stuff.

She looks even better
in more clothes.

Because you can imagine more.

You know what? Keep 'em.

Weird Barbie said I would
know how to find this girl,

but I have no idea.

Hmm.

What would a smart Barbie do?

I just need to clear
my mind so I can think.

Who is playing with me?

I hate it when people
think. I get so bored.

Faster I figure it out, the
faster we get to go home.

- What am I supposed to do?
- Ken!

- Go for a walk or something.
- By myself?

- Yes.
- Really? Where?

Anywhere.

- Can I go that way?
- Yes. Okay.

- Don't go far.
- Okay!

Excuse me, sir.

Thanks, man.

What's up, man?

- We've got to man up on this one.
- Great workout, man.

Men, men, men.

- You're the man!
- No, you're the man!

Men, men, men!

Based on the ROI, we are
exceeding expectations.

- Good stuff. So I'm not worried about it.
- Excuse me...

Not now, Margaret.
Let's shake on this.

- We are gonna make a lot of money.
- We are officially important.

Yes!

That felt...

achy, but good.

I'm actually trying
to make this work.

How? By calling me a lunatic?

That's not how you
make things work.

I don't know what this is all...

You're so beautiful.

I know it.

Barbie! Barbie!

Yes!

I've got it!

Oh, what do you got?

- You go first.
- No, no, you go.

- We'll go at the same time.
- Okay.

- She's at school.
- Men rule the world!

- What was that?
- The kid's at the school?

But what did you say?

- Nothing.
- Okay.

- Well, let's go to the school.
- Okay!

Now, come on.

- Hello.
- This is Dan of the FBI.

Oh. This is Aaron at Mattel.

I don't give a flying
squirrel who you are, Aaron.

- What are you, like an intern?
- No, I'm...

Two of your dolls
have gotten loose.

Impossible.

- How do you know?
- Don't sass me, Aaron.

Couple of blondes,
answering to Barbie and Ken.

Rollerblading in Santa Monica.

We're gonna need Mattel's
help landing the eagle.

Don't crap the bed, Aaron!

I won't.

This is bad. This
is really bad.

- What?
- This happened before.

What? When?

I heard about ten years
ago, a woman named Skipper

turned up at some
family's home in Key West.

Asked to babysit the kids.

She then tried to take
their toddler surfing.

- Geez.
- I know.

They were able to straighten
it out, keep it under wraps,

but this is serious.

- I'm going all the way up.
- No one goes all the way up.

- I have to.
- You may never come back.

I know.

♪ Closer I am to fine

Oh.

- Hey.
- Oh, hi, Aaron.

- New drawings?
- Yeah.

I just started drawing
these weird designs.

These are different.

It's Irrepressible
Thoughts of Death Barbie.

Full Body Cellulite Barbie.

Crippling Shame Barbie.

Okay. Listen, I have to
speak to the top brass.

- No.
- I must.

- No.
- I'm going to.

Aaron, they're in a big corporate
idea sesh. No one is to be admitted.

- Aaron! Aaron! Aaron, stop!
- Always be empowering girls.

Always!

But what do we really
sell? I'll tell you what.

- We sell dreams.
- Aaron.

And imagination!

And sparkle!

I get excited. I'm passionate.

And when you think of sparkle,
what do you think of after that?

Female agency.

Excuse me.

- Who are you?
- Aaron Dinkins, sir.

We're in the middle of a major
sit-down here, Aaron Dinkins.

I think you're gonna
want to hear this, sir.

Can you just e-mail it? And
you can send it to me EOD.

End of day.

- That's cool.
- Yeah.

May I put it in a whisper, sir?

Fine. Whisper me.

No. No!

Ahh! Ahh! No.

- Get the chair!
- Take the cart.

They're okay.

- You all right?
- He's okay.

- Okay.
- He's okay.

It's a repeat of
Skipper in Key West.

And with all due respect,
that was Skipper, sir.

This is... Barbie.

If this got out

that our dolls were coming to
Los Angeles from Barbie Land

as life-size versions
of themselves...

roaming the earth...

this would be very bad.

Barbie in the Real World?

That's impossible.

We've got a definite
situation on our hands.

Catastrophic!

- I can't stress that enough!
- What?

- What's your name again?
- Aaron Dinkins, sir.

- Aaron Dickinson?
- Dinkins.

Yes! Aaron.

Is Barbie Land like
an alternate reality

or is it like a place
where your imagination...

Yes!

Okay.

Think of it as a town in
Sweden, Aaron Dinkins.

Sweden.

Right.

How much do you weigh?

It doesn't matter.

Sounds like a job for the box.

No one rests until this
doll is back in a box.

Look, Davy Crockett
Junior High School,

just like I saw in my vision.

A man on a horse.

I've started to get all
these weirdo feelings.

Like, I have fear with
no specific object.

- What is that?
- It's anxiety.

I have it too. They're
just awful at this age.

I feel amazing.

That's because kids don't
take it out on the dads.

She's gotta be here somewhere.

I need to find her soon.

I'm just gonna pop
into the library

and see if I can find
any books on trucks.

Okay, just don't get in trouble.

I won't!

- ♪ Johnny, my baby, did it
always have to end this way? ♪

♪ 'Cause one day ♪

- ♪ One day, my baby
just went away ♪

♪ My angel ♪

What are you doing?

Oh, uh, what's that girl's name?

That's Sasha.

Hey, Sasha!

- Don't talk to her.
- Oh.

Sasha can talk to you, but
you can never talk to Sasha.

- She'll crush you.
- Don't worry.

Everyone really likes me and
thinks I'm cool and pretty.

Huh.

Thank you.

Hey, ladies. Sasha, what's up?

Who are you?

I'm only your favorite
woman of all time.

Barbie!

You really think you're Barbie?

- Yeah.
- She's crazy.

Do you think she escaped
from like an insane asylum?

So you're like "Barbie" Barbie?
Like a professional bimbo?

No. Barbie's not a bimbo.

Barbie is a doctor and
a lawyer and a senator

and a Nobel Prize winner.

You're a Nobel Prize winner?

Oh. No, not me, but Barbie is.

Yeah.

Aren't you guys gonna thank
me and give me a big hug?

For being your favorite toy?

We haven't played with Barbie
since we were like five years old.

Yeah, I hated dolls with hair.

I mean, I'd play with Barbie, but
it was, like, the last resort.

I loved Barbie.

Oh.

Anyways, even then, it
was horrible for us.

It was horrible?

Why?

- Come on, Sasha.
- Give it to her.

Destroy Barbie.

Okay, Barbie, let's do this.

You've been making women feel bad about
themselves since you were invented.

I think you have that
the wrong way around.

You represent everything
wrong with our culture.

Sexualized capitalism,
unrealistic physical ideals...

No, no, no. You're describing
something stereotypical.

Barbie is so much
more than that.

Look at yourself.

Well, I am technically
Stereotypical Barbie.

You set the feminist
movement back 50 years.

You destroy girls'
innate sense of worth

and you are killing the planet

with your glorification
of rampant consumerism.

No, I'm supposed to help you
and make you happy and powerful.

Oh, I am powerful.

And until you showed up here
and declared yourself Barbie,

I hadn't thought about
you in years, you fascist!

Oh. Um...

Okay.

It's happening
again. I have to...

Will you excuse me?

It was really nice
talking to you.

They never listen.

Excuse me, sir, do
you have the time?

You respect me.

Sorry, no, do you
know what time it is?

No, I do not.

Okay.

Why didn't Barbie tell
me about patriarchy,

which, to my understanding,

is where men and
horses run everything?

Sure.

I shall seek my fortune there.

All right. So...

I'll take a high-level, high-paying
job with influence, please.

Okay, you'll need
at least an MBA.

And a lot of our
people have PhDs.

Isn't being a man enough?

Actually, right now, it's
kind of the opposite.

You guys are clearly not
doing patriarchy very well.

No! No. We're, uh...

We're doing it well, yeah. We
just... hide it better now.

Oh.

No, I won't let you do
just one appendectomy.

- But I'm a man.
- But not a doctor.

- Please?
- No.

- Can I talk to a doctor?
- You are talking to a doctor.

- Can you get me a coffee?
- No.

- And I need a clicky pen.
- No.

- And a white coat.
- No.

- And a sharp thing.
- No.

- There he is. Doctor!
- Somebody get security.

I'd like to apply for
your job of beach.

So, you want to be a lifeguard?

Oh. I'm not trained
to go over there.

I'm trained to stand
confidently right here.

There's nobody in danger here.

And even if there were, I'm
not trained to save them.

Then I can't hire you.

I can't even beach here!

She thinks I'm a fascist?

I don't control the railways
or the flow of commerce.

- There you are.
- Oh, no.

That went terrible.

I need to find somewhere where
I can start patriarchy fresh.

Miss Barbie?

It's just Barbie.

We're gonna need
you to come with us.

Oh.

- Who are you?
- We're Mattel.

- Mattel?
- Mattel.

Oh, thank goodness!

I've gotta talk to
somebody in charge.

Everything is backwards here.

Men look at me
like I'm an object.

Girls hate me.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy,
and I keep getting arrested.

Need you to step
this way, ma'am.

I also just learned to cry.

First, I got one tear and
then I got a whole bunch.

What do I do? Do
I follow Barbie

into that scary unmarked
black truck car?

A truck car I'd like
to have, actually.

You're right, she's
fine. It's Mattel.

- Yeah.
- I know.

I'll go back to Barbie Land, and
I'll tell the Kens what I've learned.

Oh, it's going to be beautiful!

Okay.

- Back to Barbie Land.
- Let's go that way.

- Hi, Bunny Boo-Boo.
- Don't call me that.

Sorry. I'm off early
because of a crisis at work,

but I thought we could
go get some soft serve.

Thank God they
arrested that nutjob.

Um, um...

that reality-challenged woman.

She thinks she's Barbie.

Wait, what did you say?

She thinks she's Barbie.
She's, like, fully convinced.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

Mom. Mom!

Mom, get back in the car!

Are you kidding me?

Mom!

Mattel! Of course it was you
guys that brought me here.

Because it definitely
wasn't that Sasha girl.

Thanks for the ride. This
has been so much fun.

Wow, the mothership!

- Barbie!
- We're so happy to see you.

- Hi!
- Would you like some mineral water?

Yes, thank you.

Oh, thanks.

I'm not used to that
having anything in it.

Thank you.

So, we've been very anxious to get
some quality face-time with you.

Of course. So what can I do

to repair the rift in
the space-time continuum,

get my feet back, and
that one cellulite gone,

and just generally not
turn into Weird Barbie?

We have been discussing
that very topic.

If you're agreeable to
it, we would love it

if you could just get
into that giant box.

Get into the box and you'll
go back to Barbie Land.

And everything
will be as it was.

You know what? We should
probably get Ken first.

Ken?

Ken.

You know, Ken. Barbie and Ken.

Oh!

- Yes, Ken. Yeah.
- Ken. The guy. Yeah.

Back to Barbie Land!

I'm gonna be sick.
I'm gonna be sick.

Ken isn't something
we're worried about.

Ever.

Okay, I'll just, um...
I'll get in the box then.

All right! Yes!

Oh. But since I
came all this way,

could I just meet
the woman in charge,

your CEO?

Oh, that would be me.

- Oh. Your CFO.
- Me.

- Your COO.
- Here.

President of the
Barbie division.

- Present.
- I'm a man with no power.

Does that make me a woman?

Are any women in charge?

Listen, I know exactly where
you're going with this,

and I have to say
I really resent it.

We are a company
literally made of women.

We had a woman CEO in the '90s.

And there was another one...

at some other time.

So that's... That's
two right there.

Women are the freaking
foundation of this very long

phallic building.

We have gender-neutral
bathrooms up the wazoo.

Every single one of
these men love women.

I'm the son of a mother.

I'm the mother of a son.

I'm... I'm the nephew
of a woman aunt.

Some of my best
friends are Jewish.

What I'm trying to say is...

Get in the box, you Jezebel!

What? I can't say Jezebel now?

I haven't been in a box in ages.

See? It's easy.

Oh, okay.

Huh.

Oh, my gosh. I
remember this smell.

I'm having a real
Proustian flashback.

Remember Proust Barbie?
That did not sell very well.

Oh! Ha-ha!

You know what? Um,
before I get in the box,

could I just run to the restroom

and make sure my
hair is perfect?

- Fine. Can you be speedy about it?
- Mmm-hmm.

- Down this way?
- It's just down the hallway.

- Thank you.
- On the right.

I guess she really had
to go to the bathroom.

Get that Barbie!

♪ She my best friend
in the whole world ♪

♪ I'm the mood board... ♪

Don't you dare push that
button. Let me push it.

- I said get that Barbie!
- Oh!

Where's Barbie?

I'm gaining on you.

I'll capture you.

♪ Oh, oh, Barbie
You're so fine ♪

- ♪ You're so fine
You blow my mind ♪

♪ Jump into the driver's seat
and put it into speed drive ♪

Barbie!

It's quicker to go
over the cubicles.

- It's quicker!
- Sure.

♪ We're running through
the red lights ♪

♪ Oh, Barbie, you're so fine ♪

Ahh!

♪ Jump into the
driver seat... ♪

- Get that Barbie!
- Barbie!

- Barbie!
- Damn it, Barbie!

Barbie!

I'm gonna get you! Barbie!

♪ Red light, red lights Red
lights, red lights, yeah ♪

- ♪ Oh, got the top
down Tires on fire ♪

Oh!

Don't worry. You're safe here.

What is this place?

I always find I think
best at kitchen tables.

Tea?

Uh, yes, please.

So a woman does work here.

Oh, sweetie, we do
more than work here.

Thank you.

What?

It's because I don't
know how to drink tea?

No. You look different.

Oh. It's not how I normally
look. I usually look perfect.

Oh, I don't know.

I think you're just right.

Real World isn't what
I thought it was.

It never is.

And isn't that marvelous?

Who are you?

Which way did she
go? Who saw her last?

Uh, if you go
through that closet,

you'll find a stairwell
down to the lobby.

- Find her!
- Okay.

Thank you, um...

Ruth.

Ruth. Thank you, Ruth.

You're welcome, Barbie.

- ♪ Oh, oh ♪

- ♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ She my best friend
in the whole world ♪

♪ I'm the mood board
She's the inspo ♪

- ♪ And she's dressed
in really cute clothes ♪

Oh, we got her! There she is!

Oh! Uh, key card!

- Wait.
- I don't have my key card.

Get in!

Now! Get in now!

- Come on.
- Oh!

Ahh!

Okay.

Oh, no! Now we're
never gonna get Barbie!

Oh, we didn't need it!

Barbie!

Let's form a plan here.

I would normally have shotgun.
I'll go in the first one.

Hang on.

Ahh!

God, I hope nobody
from school saw us

put a life-size
Barbie in our car.

- How did this even happen?
- I don't know.

How are you here?
You're like an idea.

A great idea.

So, I've been a
little lonely lately.

And I found those Barbies
we used to play with...

- I thought we gave those away.
- Well, I started playing with them.

And making drawings like
we used to do. Remember?

Because I thought
it would be joyful.

- Was it?
- No, it wasn't.

I got sad and weird,

and then the drawings
got sad and weird,

and maybe because I
couldn't be like you,

I ended up making you like me.

Did any of these
drawings by chance

have thoughts of
death and cellulite?

Yes! Irrepressible
Thoughts of Death Barbie.

- Oh, my God!
- And Cellulite!

- I came for you!
- You came for me!

Those were your memories.

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Are you
two, like, shining?

No! No, it's nothing like that.

- Are you shining with a real Barbie?
- No!

I mean, maybe.
Like a little, yes.

I don't even know where to start

with this
wishing-a-Barbie-to-life crap.

Oh, Sasha, listen.

I'm just a boring mom with a boring
job and a daughter who hates me.

Can you blame me for wanting
to have a little fun?

I gotta lose these chuckleheads.

Ahh!

Mom!

I think I owe you
ladies an apology.

I thought that Barbie had
made the Real World better,

but the Real World is forever
and irrevocably messed up!

Well, the Real World is not
perfect, but you inspired me.

I love women. I
want to help women.

Oh, come off it,
everybody hates women.

Women hate women,
and men hate women.

It's the one thing
we can all agree on.

- Is that true?
- It's complicated.

- Hate is a strong word.
- Wake up, Mom!

I am wide awake, Sasha!

Mom, where did you learn
to drive like this?

- There was this guy.
- Was it Dad?

Yeah, yeah, it
was... It was Dad.

Okay, duck.

- You look so pretty.
- Don't look at me.

Okay, sorry.

I can't hold them off
forever. Where can we go?

Wait, I have an idea. Can
you get us to Venice Beach?

Sure can.

Ah! I love Rollerblades.
Where are we going?

- Barbie Land.
- What? Mom!

Are you really gonna let Barbie

take you and your tween
daughter to an imaginary land?

Yes, and you wanna know why?
Because I never get to do anything.

I didn't even go on that cruise
I won at your school raffle

because I didn't have enough vacation
days and your dad's allergic to sun.

- Oh.
- What about Dad? We can't just leave him!

He'll be fine.

Bolígrafos.

Bolígrafos.

Bolígrafos.

Yeah, yeah. He'll be fine.

Ready for fun?

- Yes!
- Great!

Here we go!

Come on and feel the magic.

Where are we?

How did we get
into these clothes?

How did we get
into this vehicle?

When I was a kid,
I lost these boots

and my mom wouldn't let
me buy a whole new Barbie

just to replace the boots.

- They look so good on you.
- Why, thank you.

- Hey, you!
- She was always my favorite Barbie.

You're my favorite human.

Don't tell him, but
I never got a Ken.

That's because Ken is
totally superfluous.

I didn't say that.

Women hold all major positions
of power, control all the money.

Basically, everything
that men do in your world,

women do in ours.

I mean, that sounds
kind of cool.

Sasha, look, dolphins!

- ♪ Closer I am to fine ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Closer I am to fine ♪

What is this song?

Oh, and we have a
female president

and it's fun and work and
friendship and female 24/7.

Do giant hands come
in and play with you?

No, that's crazy.

Excuse me. Have you seen a
group of women on wheels?

Actually, yeah,

there was a blonde, a
brunette and a tween.

They Rollerbladed
in that direction.

Oh, no.

First step is always
Rollerblading.

Excuse me, sir?

They've gone to Barbie Land.

- Oh, no.
- And she's brought humans there with her.

This could mean extremely
weird things for our world.

Like what?

Nothing any of our
collective imaginations

could ever dream up.

A podcast hosted
by two wise trees.

Or a choir of 2,000
young fathers.

Not even close. We've got
to get to Barbie Land.

Go! Find some blades now!
Just pick a direction and run!

I can practically feel my
heels lifting already. Yes!

This is what I was supposed
to do. Bring you back here.

- It feels right.
- It does.

Okay, this is...

Oh. That's strange.

♪ 'Cause that's the man I am ♪

♪ Baby, treat me right ♪

Incoming brewski beer.

So, that's our
president, with the beer.

And the cheering squad
is the Supreme Court.

This is so much better
than being president.

Something's weird today.

Hi, Barbie!

Oh, okay. Hi, Ken.

- Have a brewski beer. My big guy is thirsty.
- Ah.

Anyway, uh...

Wait until you
see my Dreamhouse.

Everything I've bought and
own will totally inspire you.

And we can change clothes again!

- That's the Capitol.
- Ah!

- It's pink?
- Pink!

And that's the...

♪ You think That
women rule the world ♪

These are the Dreamhouses.
This is where I live.

You can see through the houses.

So does each Barbie, like,
have their own house?

- Mmm-hmm.
- That's cool.

Where do the Kens stay?

I don't know.

At first I thought the
Real World was run by men.

And then there was a minute

where I thought it
was run by horses.

But then I realized that
horses are just men extenders.

- Oh!
- Hmm?

Oh. I had that treehouse.

I saved up my
allowance to buy it.

I've never seen a car like that
before. What happened here?

Everything, basically
everything exists

to expand and elevate
the presence of men.

- That's amazing.
- That's beautiful.

- I know.
- Barbie's here.

Uh-oh.

Ken?

What have you done?

What are you wearing?

Don't question it. Just
roll with it, tiny baby.

- Tiny baby.
- Don't call me baby.

What about mini-baby?
Like this mini-fridge.

No, Ken.

This is my Dreamhouse. It
is my Dreamhouse! It's mine!

No, this is no longer
Barbie's Dreamhouse.

This shall henceforth be known
as Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House.

You don't have to
say dojo and house.

And casa...

But you do because it
feels good. Try it.

- Mojo Dojo Casa...
- No, girls. Don't say it.

Mojo Dojo Casa House.

Give it to me straight.
How weird is it?

Whoa, boss, these
Mojo Dojo Casa Houses

are literally flying
off the shelves.

The kids are clamoring for
them. Ken is on T-shirts, mugs.

- It's the number one tattoo.
- Oh, no.

Warner Bros. have started
auditions for the Ken movie,

which is already
a blockbuster hit.

It's happening. That thing
we could never imagine.

If we don't get my words lady...

- Executive Assistant.
- My Executive Words Lady

and someone who's
probably her daughter

back here and close the portal,

our worlds could
be altered forever.

Well, what does it matter
if it's Barbie or Ken?

The money is pouring in.

Shame on you,
Executive Number Two.

You think I spent my
entire life in boardrooms

because of a bottom line?

No! I got into this business

because of little
girls and their dreams.

In the least creepy
way possible.

Now, blade faster.
Time is running out.

Look, I'm just having
some brewski beers

at my Mojo Dojo Casa House.

Ken!

You can stay if you want,

as my bride wife,

or my long-term-low-
commitment-distance girlfriend.

- What do you say?
- Ugh.

Brewski beer me?

I will not brewski beer you.

Ha-ha-ha. That's fine.

You know, now that you Barbies
aren't around to run everything,

we can do our hair
however we like.

I have hats.

Where are my hungry
boys? Who wants snacks?

Barbie, I am so
happy to see you.

Can you believe
what is happening?

I know. Isn't it great?

Anyone need a brewski beer?

What are you doing?
You're a doctor.

I like being a
helpful decoration.

And Allan likes to help me give
all the Kens foot massages.

No, I don't, I don't like that.

We love it.

- Ugh, so gross.
- I'm so blotto-faced day-drunk right now.

Ditto same-same that.

I like not having to
make any decisions.

It's like a spa day
for my brain. Forever.

What is wrong with them?

We just explained to
them the immaculate,

impeccable seamless
garment of logic

that is patriarchy,
and they crumbled.

Oh, my God. This is
like in the 1500s

with the indigenous
people and smallpox.

They had no defenses against it.

Yeah. Buckle up, babe.

Because Barbie Land
is now Ken Land.

And it's gonna be just like
Century City in Los Angeles,

because they had it all
figured out in Century City.

The minute you get out
of your car, you're like,

"I can't believe how
great this place is!"

No, no, no. They don't have
it figured out in Century City

because we failed them.

No! You failed me!

Out there, I was somebody.

And when I walked
down the street...

people respected me
just for who I am.

One lady, she even
asked me for the time.

No way!

Way.

And if it weren't for
these technicalities

like MBAs, medical degrees,

and I don't know, swim lessons,
I could have ruled that world.

But I don't need any
of those things here.

Here, I'm just a dude.
And you know what?

That's enough.

TV remote.

Which one is it?

Oh, it's that one right there.

Call me Mister Ken President
Prime Minister, ma'am.

Let's recap all
the amazing changes

and innovations
thanks to the Kens.

The Nobel Prize in
horses goes to...

Ken!

Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!

Wow. And now you're
making it permanent

with a special election to
change the Constitution.

That's right. In
just 48 hours,

all the Kens will
head to the polls

and vote to change the
Constitution to a government

for the Kens, of the
Kens, and by the Kens!

You can't do this.

This is Barbie Land.

The Barbies worked hard
and they dreamed hard

to make it everything
that it is. You...

You can't just undo it in a day.

Literally and
figuratively, watch me.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

this is my Mojo Dojo
Casa House, it's not

Barbie's Mojo Dojo Casa House.

Right?

How's that feel?

It is not fun, is it?

It's boys' night!

Every night is boys' night.

Go, Ken! Go, Ken! Go, Ken!

Barbie! Take your lady
fashions with you.

Take your Celebrate
Disco Bell Bottoms...

Oh!

And your Ice Capades
Pretty Practice Suit

and Dazzling Show Skirt.

These are archival.

Your Pajama Jam
in Amsterdam sets.

No!

And your Pretty
Paisley Palazzo Pants!

- Not the Palazzos!
- And get out!

Maybe this could fit me.

Honey.

Why did you wish me to
your messed-up world

using your complicated
human thoughts and feelings?

- What?
- Barbie Land was perfect before.

I was perfect before.

I'm so sorry. I wasn't
trying to do anything.

Don't apologize.

Don't blame my mom.

Aw, Sasha, that's sweet.

Maybe you wished us. Maybe
it's your fault, Barbie.

No, I didn't wish anything.

I've never wanted
anything to change.

Oh, honey, that's
life. It's all change.

That's...

That's terrifying.

I don't want that.

Not my life. No, thank you.

Just, no, I don't want this.

I'm just gonna sit
here and wait and hope

that one of the more
leadership-oriented Barbies

just snaps out of it

and does something
about this whole mess.

I really understand
this feeling.

It's basically, like, being a
human person all the time...

Please just leave me
here. Just leave me.

Go back to your messed-up world
and just leave me to mine.

- So, you're just gonna give up?
- Yes.

Okay.

You know, I almost
feel bad for you,

but you are exactly
what I thought you were.

Um...

Let's go, honey. Let's just...

Okay, how do we...
How do you expect...

Do everything we did in reverse.

Unbelievable. Come on, Mom.
She doesn't deserve you.

This is the lowest
I've ever been.

Emotionally and physically.

Okay, kids,

it's time to run out

and get the new
Depression Barbie.

She wears sweatpants
all day and night.

She spent seven hours
today on Instagram,

looking at her estranged best
friend's engagement photos,

while eating a family-size
bag of Starbursts.

And now her jaw is killing her.

And she's going to watch the
BBC's Pride and Prejudice

for the seventh time
until she falls asleep.

Situation of our families is
such that any alliance between us

must be regarded as a highly
reprehensible connection.

Anxiety, panic attacks,
and OCD sold separately.

Barbie. Barbie, wake up.

- Hey.
- Weird.

I'm like you now.

Ugly and unwanted.

Thanks.

Let's get her in
the back. Come on.

One, two...

- Isn't this great?
- Yes.

Wait until you see the boat.

The boat.

Beautiful countryside.

♪ I spent four years
prostrate To the higher mind ♪

♪ Got my paper and I was free ♪

♪ I went to the doctor,
I went to the mountains ♪

♪ I looked to the children

♪ I drank from the fountains ♪

We interrupt this
broadcast to bring you

our new radio station only
playing Ken's favorite song.

♪ I want to push you around ♪

♪ Well, I will, well, I will ♪

Turn this song off,
for Christ's sake!

- Who are you?
- I'm Allan.

Oh, you are Allan.
That's great.

Don't tell the Kens.
I'm trying to escape.

I cannot sit on one
more leather couch.

It's gonna break my spirit.

As soon as they figure out how
to build that wall sideways

and not just up,

no one is gonna be
able to get in or out.

So if we want to leave, we
better make a run for it.

No, Allan. You can't go. Having
a Barbie in the Real World

is what caused all these
problems in the first place.

Not one person would care if
Allan was in the Real World.

Yes, even him, so come on!

Hey, you there.

What do we do?

Just get in the car
and keep it singing.

- Hey, man.
- What?

Be ready for anything.

Who are you?

I'm Allan. I'm, uh,
I'm Ken's buddy.

Yeah, all of his clothes fit me.

Get in the car!

You want a piece?

Wait, you don't have
a driver's license.

This car doesn't have an engine.

Fine.

What are you
doing? We gotta go.

We have to go back.
Barbie Land needs saving.

Barbie needs saving.

What? You hate Barbie!

But you don't. You've always
believed in what she could be.

Yeah, well, I was wrong.
Barbie gave up. The Kens won.

You have to try.

Even if... Even if you
can't make it perfect,

- you can make it better.
- I can't make anything better.

I'm the one who
ruined Barbie Land

with my stupid drawings
in the first place.

They're not stupid!
They're amazing!

You like my drawings?

They're weird and
dark and crazy.

Everything you
pretend not to be.

I am, I am. I'm weird and
I'm dark and I'm crazy.

Easy. Easy.

Okay. You want some more Allan?

We have to get out
of here right now.

Shut up, Allan!
We're going back.

Let's go get my doll.

I'll never get out of here.

Where do we find Barbie?

There's only one place she'd be.

You're a writer.

This is your Nobel Prize.

- Remember winning it?
- Huh.

It's useless trying
to deprogram her.

I already did
everything I could.

Oh, my God. I don't even
know how I got here.

I don't deserve this.

Um, I'd like to thank Ken.

Thank you, Ken.

I love you, Ken.

The fork in my
soup is this, Barb.

Why didn't the
brainwashing work on you?

My exposure to the Real World
must have made me immune.

Either you're brainwashed,
or you're weird and ugly.

There is no in between.

Sing it, sister.

Well, get ready, kids.

Because in 48 hours, Barbie
Land becomes Ken Land.

Come on, gang.

We'll find Barbie at
the top of these stairs.

The Kens. They've found us.

- Ken!
- No! Get back.

Ken. Oh. Oh!

- Hello?
- Hmm?

- Humans. We're fine.
- Ah.

- And Allan.
- Hmm.

Come into my Weirdhouse.
Hi! I'm Weird Barbie.

I'm in the splits, I
have a funky haircut,

and I smell like basement.

Oh, my God. I had
a Weird Barbie.

- Yeah, you did.
- You make them weird by playing too hard.

That's cool.

That's Sugar Daddy Ken.
And Earring Magic Ken.

Mattel discontinued them.

- Sugar Daddy?
- No, no, no.

I'm not a sugar daddy.

This is Sugar,
and I'm her daddy.

And I have an earring.
A magic earring.

These were actual Kens.

More discontinued Barbies.

Growing Up Skipper? May I?

- Okay.
- Watch this.

- Her boobs grow.
- Why would they do that?

And Barbie Video Girl.

I have a TV in my back. You
know whose dream that is?

Nobody. Nobody's dream.

And that's Barbie
Barbie, of course.

She's not dead. She's just
having an existential crisis.

Okay, come on.

Hey.

What's wrong?

I'm not pretty anymore.

What? You're so pretty.

I'm not Stereotypical
Barbie pretty.

Note to the filmmakers.

Margot Robbie is the
wrong person to cast

if you want to make this point.

But you're beautiful.

It's not just that. I'm not...

smart enough to be interesting.

You're so smart.

I can't do brain surgery,
I've never flown a plane.

I'm not the president.

No one on the
Supreme Court is me.

I'm not good enough
for anything.

It is literally
impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful
and so smart,

and it kills me that you don't
think you're good enough.

Like we have to always
be extraordinary.

But somehow, we're
always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin
but not too thin,

and you can never say
you want to be thin.

You have to say you
want to be healthy,

but also you have to be thin.

You have to have money,
but you can't ask for money

because that's crass.

You have to be a boss
but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't
squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to
love being a mother,

but don't talk about your
kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman

but also always be looking
out for other people.

You have to answer for men's
bad behavior, which is insane,

but if you point that out,
you're accused of complaining.

You're supposed to stay pretty
for men but not so pretty

that you tempt them too much

or that you threaten other women

because you're supposed to
be a part of the sisterhood

but always stand out.

And always be grateful.

But never forget that
the system is rigged,

so find a way to
acknowledge that

but also always be grateful.

You have to never get old,

never be rude, never show off,

never be selfish,
never fall down,

never fail, never show fear,

never get out of line.

It's too hard, it's
too contradictory,

and nobody gives you a
medal or says thank you.

And it turns out, in fact,

that not only are you
doing everything wrong

but also everything
is your fault.

I'm just so tired
of watching myself

and every single other woman

tie herself into knots so
that people will like us.

And if all of that

is also true for a doll

just representing a woman...

then I don't even know.

Wait.

I did write a book.

It's like I've been in a dream,

where I was somehow
really invested

in the Zack Snyder
cut of Justice League.

But what you said
broke me out of it.

Really?

Yeah.

You're back. She's back.

By giving voice to the
cognitive dissonance required

to be a woman under
the patriarchy,

- you robbed it of its power.
- Yes.

Wow, I just said all of that.

Hell, yes, White Savior Barbie!

No, it was your mom.
Your mom did the saving.

We have to stop the Kens.

And you need to say all of those
things to the other Barbies.

- That's the key.
- Got it.

But how are we gonna
get the Barbies

away from their Kens?

We have experience with
a world like this one.

Do you have a map
of Barbie Land?

What do you think?

- Wow.
- Thanks. I built it.

Okay, here's the deal.

It's not just about
how they see us,

it's about how they
see themselves.

Ken Land contains the seeds
of its own destruction.

First we have to get the
Barbies away from their Kens.

We could use a decoy Barbie
who pretends to be brainwashed.

- That should be you.
- Cool.

Distract them by appearing
helpless and confused.

Kens cannot resist a
damsel in distress.

You have to make them believe
that you're complacent.

That they have the power.

And when their guard is down,
you take the power back.

The influence that Porsche 356

has had on the motoring
world as a whole,

it can't be overstated.

Oh! Photoshop is so hard!

I just don't understand
how to use the Select tool.

Honey, you can only
use the Select tool

if the layer is highlighted.

Let me show you.

My tiny head is just swimming

with technical jargon
like color bands...

- Oh! Hi.
- And magnetic lassos and bit maps.

Do you think that you and your
strong arms can explain...

- Oh! What's happening?
- Allan, go around!

Ahh!

- Oh, but what about Ken?
- No, no, no!

- No, but I love him!
- Come on, Allan!

Hey! What's gonna
happen to Ken?

Just listen.

You have to be their mommies

but not remind them
of their mommy.

Any power you have must
be masked under a giggle.

What happened?

One minute I was president,

and the next I was cutting
a Ken steak for him.

Welcome back, Madam President.

Then we'll recruit the now
unbrainwashed Barbies to our cause.

They can be the new decoys.

You can tell him that you've
never seen The Godfather.

And that you'd love them
to explain it to you.

Ooh, are you guys
watching The Godfather?

The Godfather.

I've never seen it.

Oh, my God. You've never
seen The Godfather?

This movie is a rich blend
of Coppola's aesthetic genius

and a triumph for Robert Evans

and the architecture of
the '70s studio system.

Can you start the movie over

and just talk through
the whole thing?

You have to find a way
to reject men's advances

without damaging their egos.

Because if you say yes
to them, you're a tramp,

but if you say no to
them, you're a prude.

I don't wanna touch a foot.

No, you don't.

Another one, be
confused about money.

I just have all my money
in a savings account.

That's totally wrong.
You need treasury bonds,

corporate bonds, CDs.

No one has CDs anymore.

Oh, sweetheart, you are so
cute when you're confused.

But no, not music.

CD stands for
Certificate of Deposit.

Stephen Malkmus really harnessed
the acerbic talk-singing

of Lou Reed with
post-punk influences

such as Wire and The Fall.

What am I wearing? I
would never choose this.

Because you're a physicist.
Do you want some pants?

Yeah.

Welcome back, Barbie.

Gee, I am so awkward and
don't feel pretty at all,

and will anyone ever like me?

Or distract them
with the old standby.

Wearing glasses so they can
discover that you're pretty.

- May I?
- Sure. Go ahead.

There. Now we can see
your beautiful face.

And then there's
pretending to be terrible

at every sport ever.

Here, let me show you.

Here, let me show you.

- Here, let me show you.
- Here, let me show you.

Here, let us show you.

We'll do this until
every single Barbie

is deprogrammed and ready
to take back Barbie Land.

- Yes!
- Yes!

Yeah!

Hey! Tomorrow the Kens vote
to change the Constitution,

so we have to get there first.

The final stage of our plan,

to turn the Kens
against each other.

Now that they think they
have power over you,

you make them question
whether they have enough power

over each other.

What if this doesn't work?

What if he doesn't...

like me anymore?

- He likes you.
- He was really upset.

Because he likes you.

And because he knows deep down

that you don't like
him the same way.

It still doesn't mean
I want to hurt him.

He took your house.

He brainwashed your friends.

He wants to control
the government.

True.

- Girl.
- Yeah.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

It's like I'm a woman already.

Welcome.

Is this what it's like?

It's time.

I'm ready.

Thank you.

Here I go.

Hi.

Ahh!

Oh, hey. You've
caught me reading.

Oh.

- I've been thinking.
- Mm-hmm.

- Ken Land.
- Kendom.

- Kendom.
- Kendom Land.

- Land of the...
- Land of the free and the men.

Right. Well, this place is...

Kendom Land.

Really great.

And the Kens really are
just better at ruling

than the Barbies ever were.

Well, we just took patriarchy
and you know, made a patriarchy.

- Yeah, well, I was thinking...
- Yes?

I'm ready to be your
long-term-distance

low-commitment
casual girlfriend,

if you'll still have me.

Would you just hold
on for one second?

Oh, okay.

Sublime!

I don't know. I'm gonna
have to think about that.

Oh.

Please?

Okay.

Come on in. I'll play
the guitar at you.

Oh, yay!

♪ Said I don't know if I've
Ever been good enough ♪

♪ I'm a little bit rusty ♪

♪ And I think My
head is cavin' in ♪

♪ And I don't know if I've
Ever been really loved ♪

♪ By a hand That's
touched me ♪

♪ And I feel like
Something's got to give ♪

♪ And I'm a little
bit angry, Well ♪

♪ This ain't over,
No, not here, no ♪

♪ Not while I still
Need you around ♪

♪ You don't owe me ♪

♪ We might change, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, We just
might feel good ♪

♪ I wanna push you around ♪

♪ Well, I will, well, I will ♪

♪ I wanna push you down ♪

♪ Well, I will, well, I will ♪

This is the final
stage of our plan.

Give them their dream come true.

And at the peak of
their happiness,

when they think you actually
care about this song...

You take it all away.

♪ I will ♪

- Who are you texting?
- Huh?

Who are you texting?

- No one.
- Let me just...

Ken!

Sorry. One sec.

That's a beautiful song
that you're playing.

Did you write it?

Yes. You want to sit
here and watch me do it,

while I stare uncomfortably
into your eyes

- for four and a half minutes?
- I would love that.

♪ Baby ♪

Sorry, one sec.

♪ I wanna push you around ♪

Be right back.

♪ Well, I will, well, I
will, I wanna push... ♪

You play on their egos

and their petty jealousies,

and you turn them
against each other.

One sec.

♪ I wanna take
you for granted ♪

Sorry.

While they're fighting,
we take back Barbie Land.

Does the title of
long-term-distance casual

low-commitment
girlfriend mean nothing?

What do we do?

We beach every individual
one of them off.

No.

We go to war.

- Against the Barbies?
- No, against the Kens.

- But we are the Kens.
- The other Kens.

We should probably call
them something else

so it doesn't get confusing.

No, because we'll
know what we mean.

But when we're on
the battlefield

and you say "Ken
at four o'clock,"

how will I know if you mean
us Kens or the other Kens?

Because, my dudes, we
attack at ten o'clock

and take advantage
of the morning waves.

But not so early 'cause
we're gonna want to sleep in.

Right.

But what will we fight
with? We have no guns.

Tennis rackets and volleyballs.

And slap fights.

And beach offs.

- Yes.
- Oh, yeah.

♪ Doesn't seem to
matter what I do ♪

♪ I'm always number two ♪

♪ No one knows
how hard I tried ♪

♪ Oh, I, I have feelings
that I can't explain ♪

♪ Driving me insane ♪

♪ All my life been so polite ♪

♪ But I'll sleep
alone tonight ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm just Ken ♪

♪ Anywhere else I'd be a ten ♪

♪ Is it my destiny
to live and die ♪

♪ A life of blonde fragility? ♪

♪ I'm just Ken ♪

♪ Where I see love
she sees a friend ♪

♪ What will it take for her ♪

♪ To see the man
behind the tan ♪

♪ And fight for me? ♪

I'll see you on
the Malibu beach!

Charge!

♪ You can't, Ken,
you can't, Ken ♪

♪ You can't, Ken ♪

And now they destroy themselves.

You know what I think?

I think we should put our
freaking Constitution back.

- Yes.
- That's a great idea.

This is a real
hornet's nest in here.

Watch your flank.

- I got shot.
- That's impossible.

- Are there real weapons here?
- Nope.

♪ I wanna know what
it's like to love ♪

♪ To be the real thing ♪

♪ Is it a crime? ♪

♪ Am I not hot when
I'm in my feelings? ♪

♪ And is my moment finally
here or am I dreaming? ♪

♪ I'm no dreamer ♪

♪ Ken ♪

♪ Ken ♪

♪ Can you feel? ♪

♪ Can't you? ♪

♪ Ken ♪

♪ They are, you are, we are ♪

- ♪ I'm just Ken ♪

♪ Anywhere else I'd be a ten ♪

♪ Is it my destiny
to live and die ♪

♪ A life of blonde fragility? ♪

♪ I'm just Ken ♪

♪ Where I see love
she sees a friend ♪

♪ What will it take for her ♪

♪ To see the man
behind the tan ♪

♪ And fight for me? ♪

♪ I'm just Ken ♪

♪ And I'm enough ♪

♪ And I'm great
at doing stuff ♪

♪ So, hey, check me out ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm just Ken ♪

♪ My name's Ken ♪

♪ And so am I ♪

♪ Put that manly hand in mine ♪

♪ So, hey, world,
check me out ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm just Ken ♪

- ♪ Baby, I'm... ♪
- ♪ Nobody else, nobody else ♪

- ♪ ...just Ken ♪
- ♪ I'm just Ken ♪

- Ken! Ken.
- Huh? Yeah?

Weren't we supposed
to vote today?

- What?
- To change the Constitution.

- Oh, it was today, wasn't it?
- Yeah.

Okay, ladies, let's do this.

All those in favor of letting
Barbie Land be Barbie Land,

say "Aye."

Aye!

I'm so happy.

Go, Barbie! Go, Barbie!
Go, Barbie! Go, Barbie!

Go, Barbie! Go, Barbie!
Go, Barbie! Go, Barbie!

Is it just my imagination,

or did these Mojo Dojo Casa
Houses just get dreamier?

That's because they're
Dreamhouses, mother...

That's right.

We've reinstated the
Barbie Land Constitution

to what it should be.

And restored all the
Barbies' brains and autonomy.

Yes!

And we seriously
disinfected those houses.

What do we do?

Kens!

- Who are we attacking, sir?
- No...

No...

Don't look at me!

Is he crying?

Just give us a minute.

Ken.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Totally.

It's okay if you're crying.

You know, I cried too. It's
actually kind of amazing.

I'm a liberated man. I
know crying is not weak.

Okay.

You wanna sit up for a minute?

This, uh...

It was hard running stuff.

I didn't love it.

I get it.

And those mini-fridges
are so small.

- Mm-hmm.
- You could only fit a six pack in them.

And the freezers are
basically useless.

To be honest, when I found out

that patriarchy
wasn't about horses,

I lost interest anyway.

That's okay.

I always thought this
would be our house.

Oh.

Ken.

- I think I owe you an apology.
- Huh?

I'm really sorry I
took you for granted.

Oh.

Not every night had
to be girls' night.

Thank you for saying that.

Thank you.

Oh. I didn't mean
to suggest, uh...

I just don't know
who I am without you.

You're Ken.

But it's "Barbie and Ken."

There is no just "Ken."

That's why I was created.

I only exist

within the warmth of your gaze.

Without it,

I'm just another blond
guy who can't do flips.

Maybe it's time to
discover who Ken is.

- Okay. I think I get it now.
- Okay.

No, no, no! This
isn't the answer.

I feel so stupid.

- No.
- No.

- I look so stupid.
- Yeah.

I look so stupid!

- No!
- So cool. You look so cool.

Okay. Ken, you
have to figure out

who you are without me.

Why?

You're not your girlfriend.

You're not your house,
you're not your mink.

- Beach?
- Nope.

You're not even beach.

Maybe all the things that
you thought made you you

aren't... really you.

Maybe it's Barbie and...

it's Ken.

Ken is...

me?

Yes.

Ken is me!

And I'm Barbie.

Ken...

is me!

Ken is me!

- Ken is me!
- Ken is me!

I don't even care about
being Ken anymore.

I just miss my friend Barbie!

- That's cool!
- Barbie!

I'm right here.

Ken!

I want you to have it.

Aw. That's nice.

We were only fighting because
we didn't know who we were.

Ken is me!

Ken is right.

It's just so hard
to be a leader.

- You know?
- That's my boss.

It's... Oh.

Midge, gosh.

I thought we discontinued her.

Look, do you know how many times

I've wanted to stand up in a
board meeting and just say,

"Can we just
tickle each other?"

- Really?
- Let's have a company retreat

and just tickle each other.

Someone get me. Someone get me.

I love being tickled.

No, no, no. Don't
hug me. Don't hug me.

But thanks to the Barbies,

I, too, can now relieve myself
of this heavy existential burden

while holding on to the
very real title of CEO.

And we can restore
everything in Barbie Land

to exactly the way it was.

- Mister Mattel, I just...
- Please. Call me Mother.

No, thank you.

I don't think that
things should go back

to the way that they were.

No Barbie or Ken should
be living in the shadows.

Or Allan.

- Hey.
- Me?

- Yeah.
- Oh. Hello.

I just want to say,

I'm sorry we called
you Weird Barbie

behind your back and
also to your face.

That's okay. I'm owning it.

Would you like a
job in my cabinet?

May I please have sanitation?

It's yours.

- Yeah, thank you.
- All right.

- Madam President.
- Oh.

Please, may the Kens have
one Supreme Court Justice?

Oh, I can't do that. But maybe
a lower circuit court judgeship.

We accept. As long
as we can wear robes.

Well, the Kens have
to start somewhere.

And one day, the Kens will have

as much power and
influence in Barbie Land

as women have in the Real World.

No, I don't want to.

- Just go!
- I can't.

- Grow up and go.
- I have an idea.

Tell me your secret
dream, child.

Okay, what about
Ordinary Barbie?

She's not extraordinary. She's
not president of anything,

or maybe she is.

Maybe she's a mom.
Maybe she's not.

Because it's okay to
just want to be a mom,

or to wanna be president
or a mom who is president.

Or not a mom who's
also not president.

She just has a flattering top,

and she wants to
get through the day

feeling kinda good
about herself.

That's a terrible idea.

Yeah, that's going
to make money.

Oh. Ordinary Barbie.
I love it. Fantastic.

Okay, great.

- Great.
- Cool.

- Yes.
- We good?

I think we're good, right?

All right, let's begin the work

to close the portal
between our two worlds.

Hey, what about Barbie?

What do you mean?

Yeah, what about Barbie?

What's her ending?
What does she get?

Well, that's easy.
She's in love with Ken.

- Aw.
- That is not her ending.

- I'm not in love with Ken.
- Oh.

What do you want?

I don't know. I'm...

I'm not really sure
where I belong anymore.

I don't think I have an ending.

That was always the point.

I created you so you
wouldn't have an ending.

It's you.

You're Ruth from Mattel.

Baby, I am Mattel.

Until the IRS got to me,
but that's another movie.

So, you're...

Ruth Handler.
Inventor of Barbie.

What?

That's so cool.

Her ghost keeps an
office on the 17th floor.

- What?
- What?

You guys,

you think the lady who invented
Barbie looks like Barbie?

I'm a five-foot-nothing grandma

with a double mastectomy...

and tax evasion issues.

Nobody looks like Barbie,

except, of course,
Barbie. Take a bow, honey.

I don't really feel
like Barbie anymore.

Come, walk with me.

Thank you.

Thank you, Barbie.

Thank you.

I'm not really sure what
I'm supposed to do now.

I've always been
Stereotypical Barbie,

and I don't think I'm really
good at anything else.

You saved Barbie
Land from patriarchy.

That was very much
a group effort.

And you helped that mother
and daughter connect.

They really helped each other.

Maybe you're
Self-Effacing Barbie?

Maybe I'm not Barbie anymore.

You understand that humans
only have one ending.

Ideas live forever,
humans not so much.

You know that, right?

I do.

Being a human can be
pretty uncomfortable.

I know.

Humans make things up
like patriarchy and Barbie

just to deal with how
uncomfortable it is.

I understand that.

And then you die.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want to be a
part of the people

that make meaning.

Not the thing that's made.

I want to do the imagining.
I don't wanna be the idea.

Does that make sense?

I always knew that
Barbie would surprise me,

but I never expected this.

Do you give me permission
to become human?

You don't need my permission.

But you're the creator.
You... Don't you control me?

I can't control you

any more than I can
control my own daughter.

I named you after her, Barbara.

And I always hoped for
you like I hoped for her.

We mothers stand still

so our daughters can look back
to see how far they've come.

So, being human's not
something I need to...

ask for or even
want? I can just...

It's something that
I just discover I am?

I can't in good conscience
let you take this leap

without you knowing
what it means.

Take my hands.

Now close your eyes.

Now feel.

♪ I used to float ♪

♪ Now I just fall down ♪

♪ I used to know ♪

♪ But I'm not sure now ♪

♪ What I was made for ♪

♪ What was I made for? ♪

♪ 'Cause I... 'Cause I... ♪

♪ I don't know how to feel ♪

♪ But I want to try ♪

♪ I don't know how to feel ♪

♪ But someday I might ♪

♪ Someday I might ♪

♪ Oh, oh... ♪

Yes.

So, Barbie left behind

the pastels and
plastics of Barbie Land

for the pastels and
plastics of Los Angeles.

Okay. Thanks for the lift.

You got this.

I'm really proud of you.

Estoy muy orguoso de ti.

Orgulloso.

Orgulloso... Orgulloso de ti.

There you go. Close enough.

You guys are the best.
Thank you. Thank you.

Okay. Whew! Let's do this.

Si se puede.

That's a political statement.

That's appropriation, Dad.

Whoo-hoo!

- We'll be here when you're done.
- We love you!

- You got this!
- Bye!

- Okay.
- We love you!

Hi.

Name?

Oh, um, Handler, comma, Barbara.

And what are you here
for today, Barbara?

I'm here to see my gynecologist.

- ♪ And I'm bad like the
Barbie ♪ - ♪ Barbie ♪

- ♪ I'm a doll but I still
wanna party ♪ - ♪ Party ♪

- ♪ Pink 'Vette like I'm
ready to bend ♪ - ♪ Bend ♪

♪ I'm a ten so I
pull in a Ken ♪

- ♪ Like Jazzie, Stacie, Nicki ♪
- ♪ Grrah ♪

- ♪ All of the Barbies
is pretty ♪ - ♪ Damn ♪

♪ All of the Barbies is bad ♪

- ♪ It girls and we ain't
playin' tag ♪ - ♪ Grrah ♪

♪ Rad, but he spank
me when I get bad ♪

- ♪ I'm in LA, Rodeo Drive ♪
- ♪ Drive ♪

♪ I'm in New York,
Madison Ave ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl
Pink Barbie Dreamhouse ♪

♪ The way Ken be killin'... ♪

♪ Got me yellin' out
like the Scream house ♪

♪ Yellin' out, we
ain't sellin' out ♪

♪ We got money, but
we ain't lendin' out ♪

♪ We got bars, but we
ain't bailin' out ♪

♪ In that pink Ferrari,
we peelin' out ♪

♪ I told Tae bring
the Bob Dylan out ♪

♪ That... so cold, we
just chillin' out ♪

♪ They be yellin',
yellin', ye-yellin' out ♪

♪ It's Barbie, bitch,
if you still in doubt ♪

- ♪ And I'm bad like the
Barbie ♪ - ♪ Barbie ♪

- ♪ I'm a doll but I still
wanna party ♪ - ♪ Party ♪

- ♪ Pink 'Vette like I'm
ready to bend ♪ - ♪ Bend ♪

♪ I'm a ten so I
pull in a Ken ♪

- ♪ Like Jazzie, Stacie, Nicki ♪
- ♪ Grrah ♪

- ♪ All of the Barbies
is pretty ♪ - ♪ Damn ♪

♪ All of the Barbies is bad ♪

♪ It girls and we
ain't playin' tag ♪

♪ Barbie ain't nothin'
to play 'bout ♪

- ♪ He wanna play in the
playhouse ♪ - ♪ Playhouse ♪

♪ The... they gon' say now? ♪

♪ I'm washin' these bitches,
I'm rubbin' the stain out ♪

♪ Like I'm ready to bend ♪

♪ All the fake Barbies
just wanna pretend ♪

♪ Like hold on, let
me go find me a pen ♪

♪ Look where it led,
now I'ma put it to bed ♪

♪ She a Barbie bitch
with her Barbie clique ♪

♪ I keep draggin' her,
so she bald a bit ♪

♪ And I see the bread,
I want all of it ♪

♪ And I want the
green, so I olive it ♪

♪ And I throw it back,
so he losin' it ♪

♪ And I give the box
with no shoes in it ♪

♪ Yeah, I know the trick
so I got him bricked ♪

♪ Yeah, they know who lit,
me and Barbie, bitch ♪

- ♪ And I'm bad like the
Barbie ♪ - ♪ Barbie ♪

- ♪ I'm a doll but I still
wanna party ♪ - ♪ Party ♪

- ♪ Pink 'Vette like I'm
ready to bend ♪ - ♪ Bend ♪

♪ I'm a ten so I
pull in a Ken ♪

- ♪ Like Jazzie, Stacie, Nicki ♪
- ♪ Grrah ♪

- ♪ All of the Barbies
is pretty ♪ - ♪ Damn ♪

♪ All of the Barbies is bad ♪

♪ It girls and we
ain't playin' tag ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl
in the Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic,
it's fantastic ♪

♪ You can brush my hair,
undress me everywhere ♪

♪ Imagination, life
is your creation ♪

♪ You can touch, you can play ♪

♪ If you say I'm
always yours ♪

♪ I used to float ♪

♪ Now I just fall down ♪

♪ I used to know ♪

♪ But I'm not sure now ♪

♪ What I was made for ♪

♪ What was I made for? ♪

♪ Takin' a drive
I was an idea ♪

♪ Look so alive Turns
out I'm not real ♪

♪ Just something you paid for ♪

♪ What was I made for? ♪

♪ 'Cause I... I... ♪

♪ I don't know how to feel ♪

♪ But I wanna try ♪

♪ I don't know how to feel ♪

♪ But someday I might ♪

♪ Someday I might ♪

♪ When did it end?
All the enjoyment ♪

♪ I'm sad again Don't
tell my boyfriend ♪

♪ It's not what he's made for ♪

♪ What was I made for? ♪

♪ 'Cause I... 'Cause I... ♪

♪ I don't know how to feel ♪

♪ But I wanna try ♪

♪ I don't know how to feel ♪

♪ But someday I might ♪

♪ Someday I might ♪

♪ Think I forgot
how to be happy ♪

♪ Something I'm not but
something I can be ♪

♪ Something I wait for ♪

♪ Something I'm made for ♪

♪ Something I'm made for ♪