Banya (1962) - full transcript
Presented by Studio Soyuzmultfilm
Creative association for Puppet films
"If each bureaucrat
would evaporate and get cleared
then working mans brooms
would turn into artists brushes "
Vladimir Mayakovsky
THE BATH
[TESTED] [APPROVED]
GLAVUPRAPUPS *
* Acronym - Directorate General for approval
The directorate General for approval
Through this jungle are trying to squeeze in their invention
- a time machine -
The directorate General for approval
Through this jungle are trying to squeeze in their invention
- a time machine -
Comrades Chudakov ("QueerFish") and Velosipedkin ("Bicyclist").
- Comrade Optimistenko, we came for the Chief Head of the Office for agreement.
- Comrade Pobedonosikov? ("Victory-nose")
There's no necessity for that.
- Chudakov? Chudakov? Which one of you is Chudakov?
- Chudakov - is the inventor.
- Many Inventors come for the
head of the office for agreement
[ RECEPTION CLOSED]
- There is only one.
[ RECEPTION CLOSED]
Come back on Friday.
[Metropolitan]
[Entrance]
Mr. Pont Kitsch, a British Anglo-Saxon.
And his translator - Madame Mezalyansova ("Miss-alliance").
CONCORDIA
( Wine, brandy, liqueur )
U.S. reserves (The No.1 cigarettes from the old world )
IRA ( Nowhere except at Mosselprom's )
Fur bra's! Fur bra's!
What does a wife do when the husband is not at home?
[ The Kreutzer Sonata ]
105 hilarious jokes from the late count Leo Tolstoy,
instead of 1 ruble 20 kopecks, 15 kopecks now.
Balloons - sausage shaped, fly safely! Buy, citizens!
Forgotten and abandoned in my early years, I'm still young,
I was left an orphan, I do not share the happiness
I was left an orphan, I do not share the happiness...
Here, Lapshin matches, they burn like the sun and moon!
COCUS
( Acronym ), the Commission for Cultural Relations
And its chairman Ivan Ivan
The artist Belibedonsky
- A portrait painter, painter of battle scenes, a naturalist.
- Would you like to look at your future furniture?
- Show me.
- Certainly.
Like the famous historian said:
" Styles come in different Louises"
Here is Louis quatorze( Fourteenth ).
Thus named by the French after the revolution of '48
that came directly after the Thirteenth.
Then there is this Louis: Jacob.
And finally let me recommend,
as the most modern
- Louis the Fashion buzz.
Mr. Pont Kitsch ... Please.
- You're really from England.... I was in England.
Surprisingly interesting how one finds Englishmen everywhere.
I just bought a cap in Liverpool and
have seen the house where he lived...
... uh... Anti- Dühring*. *(Friedrich Engels, lived in L + wrote: Anti-Dühring)
Mr. Pont Kitsch - Reknown London philatelist.
Ce que on appèl (one calls) "Stamp collector" in Russian
and he is tremendously interested in chemical plants,
aviation and art in general.
He's a really cultured and sociable person.
Ce que on appèl (one calls) "Stamp collector" in Russian
and he is tremendously interested in chemical plants,
aviation and art in general.
He's a really cultured and sociable person.
Vous Comprenez?
- Then we need to open a broad champagne!
- Monsieur Momentalnikov, employee.
pre-revolutionary employee and post-revolutionary squeezer.
Here, he tests some changes by the revolution
to prevent a fall in quality.
- Comrade Momentalnikov, you need to open a big bottle of champagne!
[Gibberish] Inventor Chudakov
Taganskaya street
house number 28
28, Taganskaya Street
- My idea is sublime;
I force time to stand still or rush forward
in any direction and at any speed!
- Do you speak English? Sprechen sie Deutsch?
Vour Parlez Francais, finally?
It is very tiring.
I am forced to make "une traduction" (translation)
from us to the peasants & workmen...
- Hello, dear comrades!
We very much need us a fine Soviet Edison.
- Hello, dear comrades!
- Mr. Pont Kitsch, such a cultured, sociable person
even told us your address.
- Oh, this big-nosed bastard,
he sure can smell things out!
- I do not understand the purpose of... GIBBERISH...
- Mr. Pontus Kitsch wants to say,
that his fatherland, all foggy
from Macdonald to Churchill,
is beastly interested in your invention.
- Of course, of course, my invention
belongs to all mankind.
- The first time in the history of mankind!
Stand back!
Stand back!
Turn on!
Jump up, laugh, look at it...
[ DB 5.24.20 ]
It's a letter!
This was written 50 years ahead!
Do you understand?
Ahead! Read!
- And what's there to read? Is that a
phone-number of some fellow called WL?
- Not "WL" but" will."
They write down only the consonants.
"24" - is tomorrow,
"20" - a time.
He, she, it will be here tomorrow,
at 8 pm.
In order not to kill those that will come from there,
We immediately need people and money.
Let's all run... -... GIBBERISH... Chervontsevi
- Chervontsev (notes of 10 ruble )?
He does not need them.
I just ran for money to the State Bank.
And came...
with all the chervontsi needed. All right, Goodbye!
- May I ask you for a little bit of tact?
Your KOMSOMOL (Young Communist League)-manners,
will generate a huge international conflict someday.
- Well, we need this Soviet Edison for ourselves.
By the way, do you have a telephone?
Do not worry, I'll inform Nikander Piramidonovich..
- It is good that there is some money now.
- There is no money.
- I do not understand why, for
Pete's sake, were you bragging about it,
and then beforehand refuses us the money,
when there's at the same time a solid offer
from the foreigner...
- That's because even though you are a genius, you're a fool!
In order for your idea to become embodied in iron
you want the West rushing in
Secretly taking over the command
over a time controlling battleship?
that can invisibly hit our plants and factories?
How could I...
- But you yourself lead him to the door for a take over...
How could I...
- But you yourself lead him to the door for a take over...
- Fool, It wasn't him
I was embracing but his pocket.
- Bravo, Velosipedkin!
Let's go, comrades,
We'll grab'em by the collar and make'em come around
Eh... I'm going to gobble up
some officials and spit out the buttons!
We'll grab'em by the collar and make'em come around
Eh... I'm going to gobble up
some officials and spit out the buttons!
GLAVNACHPUPS
" It's forbidden to write on the walls "
" No Trespassing "
" Children under 16 years old are not allowed "
" Do not talk " " Out of order "
"Do not stick your neck out "
" Bringing and drinking
alcoholic beverages is prohibited "
"Don't pick the flowers " " Do not touch ", " No Smoking"
" No Exit "
" Closed "
And so, comrades,
this warning bell
will revolutionize, tram bells
The bell shall cling in the heart of every worker
and peasant. Today this rail will connect an area
known as "The 10th anniversary of Soviet medicine"square:
and peasant. Today this rail will connect an area
known as "The 10th anniversary of Soviet medicine"square:
with the former stronghold of the bourgeoisie - The hay market.
Who rode the tram up to 25 October*
(*1917)?
Has-been intellectuals, priests and the upper class.
Who rode the tram up to 25 October*
(*1917)?
Has-been intellectuals, priests and the upper class.
For how much did the ride? They paid 5 kopecks.
But who will ride now? Now WE will ride,
The labor force. For how much?
For only 10 kopecks!
Allez. (Forward)
- Comrade Optimistenko, this must end.
We go to the most Glavnachpupsu.
- It's not necessary to disturb him.
We go to the most Glavnachpupsu.
- It's not necessary to disturb him.
All is in order.
Your case is completely in order.
All is in order.
Your case is completely in order.
- It's accepted!
That's great! So the bureaucracy is overcome! Hurraay!
- First we have to find your drawer.
[ Case no.32/48
Chudakov ]
second...
catch hold of your business... third...!
superior
Deputy Chief Deputy Chief
Assistant Chief Assistant Chief
Chief started.
deputy started deputy started
Helper started Helper started Helper started (6x)
- I told you - complete in order.
.... [ REJECTED ]
- Where were we?
- You stopped at " So, comrades... "
- So, comrades, remember that Leo Tolstoy
- The great and unforgettable wielder of the pen.
His legacy of the past shine us by
on the borderline between two worlds.
- The great and unforgettable wielder of the pen.
His legacy of the past shine us by
on the borderline between two worlds.
Like a great star of art, like an entire constellation,
like the largest constellation Ursa Major!
- I'm sorry, you were talking about thew streetcar...
but now for some reason you've put
Leo Tolstoy in it while it's moving...
- What??? You feel invited
to criticize without any restrains!
If you have any self-criticism to make
use the bulletin-board newspaper!
- Ouch, Don't you dare interfere in our govern-
mental functions with those fantasies of yours.
Oh, please, glad to see you here!
Make yourself at home.
- Allow me to go on with your portrait
and capture you
as an innovator, administrator,
as well as credit manager.
- I sit here at the desk,
but paint me in side-perspective,
like on a horse.
- The horse I already painted at home,
from memory. I will now only need to
attach you to the horse.
Let me zoom in on your heroic leg.
Oh, how that polished boot does shine!
Makes a man want to lick it!
Yes!
Only in the work of Michelangelo
does one find such a clean line...
- Angelov? An Armenian?
- Italian.
- A fascist?
- Really, now!
- I do not know him. And he knows me?
- I do not know, he is an artist too.
- Ah. Well, then he probably knows me.
After all, there are a lot of artists
but only one Glavuprapups.
- What??? Laughing???
Right,...even wearing lipstick??? Out!
- And under every leaflet
there was a place for her
(Quote from Krylov: The dragonfly & the ant)
- Comrade, for Pete's sake, understand,
if we can't shift the experiment
to the space above the city,
there may even be an explosion!
- Well, you better leave.
Don't you dare threaten a government agency!.
- Get this through your head, dimwitt!...
You will kindly refrain from personal attacks!
The individual has no special role in history.
COMING SOON! COMING SOON! COMING SOON!
Film " BATH", Vl. Mayakovsky
production studio "Soyuzmultfilm"
One moment, comrades. We have to interrupt our film
due to circumstances beyond our control.
Comrade Sam Pobedonosikov
decided he wanted to see an excerpt of our film.
Please, comrades, come in.
Ha-ha!
OUT!
- In real life this does not happen!
It's all exaggerated.
It never occurs we behave like this. It's not natural,
It not like real life! It's unheard of!
Bath. What is with this bath?
Who is washed?
- The bath washes off, simply erases, bureaucrats.
The bath agitates from the perspective
of the inventor's initiative.
- It is necessary to do this anew,
tone it down, poetisize it, make it more round.
- But, comrade, let's...
- I will not allow it!
It even discredits us before all of Europe!
- But, comrade, let's...
- I will not allow it!
It even discredits us before all of Europe!
Better not translate that, please.
- Allrayt.
He just ate caviar at the banquet and now he's drowsy.
- Comrade, don't bear us an ill mind
we wanted to put our art at the service \of the struggle and positive action.
People look, and they get to work
They look, and they are aroused.
People look, and they get to work
They look, and they are aroused.
They look, and they expose whatever is bad.
- Your art is not for the masses
and workers and peasants will not understand it.
It's alright they will not understand.
Explain it to them therefor isn't necessary!
- Well, in Art one should depict a life of beauty,
beautiful people.
Show us good-looking people in beautiful landscapes,
in general: bourgeois decadence...
Or say, how rotten the West is.
in general: bourgeois decadence...
Or say, how rotten the West is.
The new struggle with the old way of life.
- Yes, yes, yes. Make it pretty for us!
At the Bolshoi Theatre
they always make it pretty for us.
- Yes, yes, yes. Make it pretty for us!
At the Bolshoi Theatre
they always make it pretty for us.
Everywhere you looked they were
dancing, and singing, and flitting about,
and those different elves, twelves, and syphilids...
You mean sylphides ?
- Bravo! Perfect! That's art!
Understandable and making sense
to me, to Ivan Ivanovich and to the masses.
- Bravo! Perfect! That's art!
Understandable and making sense
to me, to Ivan Ivanovich and to the masses.
- Yes, surprisingly interesting...
Comrade
Momentalnikov, we must launch a broad campaign.
- Well, thank you. Goodbye.
after such an elegant finale, I don't want
my impression dulled
or their bloom rubbed off..
Please accept my comradely best wishes!
- By the way, what is the name
of that little actress there?
She has a very pretty talent on her.
Looks delicious...
We must launch a broad campaign...
or maybe even a narrow one...
Just me and her, I mean.
or maybe even a narrow one...
Just me and her, I mean.
PP Triumphantikov
[Toilet]
[Do not enter without business]
- You're leaving me behind?
You think I don't know what's going on?!
I noticed they brought you two tickets.
- You better forget these
petty-bourgeois notions of a vacation.
I'm not going just to get a suntan!
I always plan ahead for the current moment
And then when I get there
a speech, a report ...
I'm not going just to get a suntan!
I always plan ahead for the current moment
And then when I get there
a speech, a report ...
BUSINESS number
Sudakov
...a resolution, in short: socialism... [ give up] [... Statement
I beg you to link and coordinate with her husband Alex.
We live : he drinks vodkuvdumchivo...]
... In my official position
I am entitled by law to a stenographer.
- When did I ever interfere with your stenography?
That's a laugh..
Well, are you kidding me?
Let me come along, for the love of God!
you can shorthand all night.
What do I care... It's ridiculeous...
You'll compromise me with your disorganized outcries,
especially when they're religious like" For the love of God."
Shush! Kozlyakovsky lives downstairs,
He might tell Pavel Petrovich,
and he is a friend of Semyon Afanasich.
Shush! Kozlyakovsky lives downstairs,
He might tell Pavel Petrovich,
and he is a friend of Semyon Afanasich.
- Come on, comrades, heave!
An error of one second
means a whole hour by out time-system
The weight of the machine is increasing with each second.
I could almost swear inside the machine
some foreign body is already materializing
- Polenka, I forgot to hide my gun.
Remember, it is charged.
To fire it all you have to do is release
this safety hatch
Well, good-bye, Polenka.
Are you coming, funny-bunny-nose?
- Shhh!
- Greetings, comrades!
I am a delegate from the year 2030.
I've been switched into your present time for 24 hours.
It's only a short time, and there's a lot to do..
[MANDATE]
A mandate?
Correct.
MANDATE
To be handed to the highest authority for accreditation
...for being transferred to the Age of Communism...
What's going on here? Good Lord, what's going on?
...for being transferred to the Age of Communism...
What's going on here? Good Lord, what's going on?
BUREAU
for selection and transfer to the communist age
Book of Complaints
" I demand that you let me bypass the line. "
Pobedonosikov
- I need to get things cleared up in connection
with the transfer: My salary, my living quarters, etc.
- What is your problem, citizen?
There is no need for you to bother her.
- Comrades! We came towards each other,
like two crew of workmen
digging a tunnel until we met today.
I was amazed when I saw those giants of earth and steel,
the grateful memory and experience
of which we still treasure a model
of communist achievement and communist living.
you have no time to step back from your work
and admire both it and yourselves.
but I am glad to tell you of your greatness!
and admire both it and yourselves.
but I am glad to tell you of your greatness!
- Forgive me comrade, for interrupting you.
I need your designation settings, fast.
Direction: infinity.
Speed: one year per second.
Destination: the year 2030.
Proceed comrades.
- Subordinate comrade Optimistenko!
you surely understand that
my problem is of major importance!
it involves a 100-years official trip by an executive - namely myself -
at the head of an entire agency.
Rejected! Impractical!
Who would want to go on a trip like that
knowing he's entitled to expenses for a 100 years,
Who would want to go on a trip like that
knowing he's entitled to expenses for a 100 years,
but will only be paid for a few seconds?
No more interviews today. Come back tomorrow.
- What interview? What tomorrow?
[RECEPTION CLOSED]
And you forgot to take down that stupid sign...
- As a senior comrade I must warn you,
that you are surrounded by people
who are not fully 100 % reliable.
Velosipedkin...
smokes! [ PRIVATE AFFAIR
eccentrics ]
Chudakov drinks!
[ PRIVATE AFFAIR Eccentrics ]
- What business is it of yours?
For all that - They work
- I'm "For all that" too,
But I do not smoke, I do not drink, I do not give tips...
Always "I don't, I don't, I don't"
Isn't there anythiong you "do, do, do"?
Always "I don't, I don't, I don't"
Isn't there anythiong you "do, do, do"?
"Do, do do"? Well, yes.
I implement directives, I file resolutions,
establish communication
I pay my party dues, I sign papers,
I stamp them with the official seal
I implement directives, I file resolutions,
establish communication
I pay my party dues, I sign papers,
I stamp them with the official seal
- Asayev, begemot, dive dog, lip is bit,
time is sneezos, my potsifization
- Mr. Pont Kitch is trying to tell you,
he can at a reasonable price he can buy up all watches,
and then he will believe in Communism.
We can understand that even without a translation.
comrades,
be on time.
At 12:00 o'clock sharp, at the station,
The first time-train will leave for the year "2030"!
Rise up and soar,
oh song of mine.
As red troops
swing along.
March onward time!
Oh, time march on!
quicken your pace
Forward time! Forward time!
Oh time march on!
Stride, my country
Yet faster still
dear land of mine
Ahead lies the commune!
Five years are planned for bonuses
We'll cut them short by one!
March onward time,
Oh time march on!
Five years are planned for bonuses
We'll cut them short by one!
March onward time,
Oh time march on!
Make factories hum ,dear land of mine,
all day and all night long!
Strike harder yet , commune of mine
Till evil ways are gone!
March onward time. March onward time,
March onward time. March onward time!
March onward time. March
Forward! Forward! Forward!
REMAINING TIME BEFORE DEPARTURE TIME MACHINE
100 / 99 / 98 / 97 / 96 SECONDS
- Comrade Dvoykin,
you can put on ordinary windshields.
The Five-Year Plan has accustomed you people
to the rhythm and speed.
Check the springs. See to it there is no jouncing
when we hit the bumps and potholes of holidays.
The going will be smoothly alright, unless
vodka bottles are scattered along the way.
- Oh, nothing left. Oh well,
there'll be enough to drink.
Comrade, I must ask you something confidentially...
Will there be a diner?
Yeah...
That compartment, then?
Yep!
REMAINING TIME BEFORE DEPARTURE TIME MACHINE
59 / 58 / 57 / 56 / 55 / SECONDS
- Comrade, what is this? A department store?
No comments please.
I could ask for an additional private car
but in accordance with my
modest scale of living I won't.
They haven't sounded the "all aboard"signal yet?
They can do it now and the second bell right after it.
Where's my briefcase with my monogram on it?
- Please don't get all excited.
I was tidying up the apartment and I saw something I thought you'd forgotten.
It looked important. What a laugh...
- Goodbye Polya, when I am settled,
I 'll send you a third of whatever is court-practice...
- Comrades! At the first signal we rush ahead,
breaking through the old, decrepit time.
The future will accept anyone who at least posesses one feature
who will make him kin to the collective
of the commune : Joy in working,
The future will accept anyone who at least posesses one feature
who will make him kin to the collective
of the commune : Joy in working,
REMAINING TIME BEFORE DEPARTURE TIME MACHINE
6 / 5 / SECONDS - Eagerness to make sacrifices,
REMAINING TIME BEFORE DEPARTURE TIME MACHINE
4 / 3 / SECONDS - Unwearying creativeness.
Comrade, Chudakov, ready?
READY
She, and you, and the author... All of you.
What have you been trying to say here?
That people like me aren't of any use to Communism?
[TESTED] [APPROVED]
[TESTED] [APPROVED]
written & directed by
Sergei Yutkevich, Anatoly Karanovich
cameramen Michael Kamenetsky
art director Felix-Lev Zbarsky
music Rodion Shchedrin
sound Boris Filchikov
Cutter Lidiya Kyaksht
Second unit art director
Valentina Vasilenko
Puppeteers: Vladimir Puzanov,
Youry Klepatsky, M. Portnaya
Animator: Vyacheslav Kotenochkin.
Text read by: Arcady Raikin, Ekaterina Raikina
camera combined life footage: B. Aretsky,
camera hand-drawn animation Nikolai Grinberg,
Ass. director M. Rapoport
Ass. Camera A Shik
Sound design A Baranov
Literary Konsultant V Katanyan
Text editor B Voronov
puppets and decor Pavel Lessin,
S. Etlis, Pavel Gussev, V. Kuranov,
Valery Petrov, V. Cherkinskaya, Vladimir Alisov,
Literary Konsultant V Katanyan
Text editor B Voronov
puppets and decor Pavel Lessin,
S. Etlis, Pavel Gussev, V. Kuranov,
Valery Petrov, V. Cherkinskaya, Vladimir Alisov,
Boris Karavaev, Roman Gurov, V. Chernikhova,
Vladimir Abbakumov, Oleg Massainov,
V. Kalashnikova Lead by ROMANA GUROVA
puppets and decor Pavel Lessin,
S. Etlis, Pavel Gussev, V. Kuranov,
Valery Petrov, V. Cherkinskaya, Vladimir Alisov,
Boris Karavaev, Roman Gurov, V. Chernikhova,
Vladimir Abbakumov, Oleg Massainov,
V. Kalashnikova Lead by ROMANA GUROVA
phosphoric women based on drawings of Picasso
Film-production orkest
Lead by E. Khachaturyan
Soloist A. Ejzen
Soyuzmultfilm 1962
Executive Producer Nathan Bitman
The End
Subs by Chapaev & Eus, march 2014
Creative association for Puppet films
"If each bureaucrat
would evaporate and get cleared
then working mans brooms
would turn into artists brushes "
Vladimir Mayakovsky
THE BATH
[TESTED] [APPROVED]
GLAVUPRAPUPS *
* Acronym - Directorate General for approval
The directorate General for approval
Through this jungle are trying to squeeze in their invention
- a time machine -
The directorate General for approval
Through this jungle are trying to squeeze in their invention
- a time machine -
Comrades Chudakov ("QueerFish") and Velosipedkin ("Bicyclist").
- Comrade Optimistenko, we came for the Chief Head of the Office for agreement.
- Comrade Pobedonosikov? ("Victory-nose")
There's no necessity for that.
- Chudakov? Chudakov? Which one of you is Chudakov?
- Chudakov - is the inventor.
- Many Inventors come for the
head of the office for agreement
[ RECEPTION CLOSED]
- There is only one.
[ RECEPTION CLOSED]
Come back on Friday.
[Metropolitan]
[Entrance]
Mr. Pont Kitsch, a British Anglo-Saxon.
And his translator - Madame Mezalyansova ("Miss-alliance").
CONCORDIA
( Wine, brandy, liqueur )
U.S. reserves (The No.1 cigarettes from the old world )
IRA ( Nowhere except at Mosselprom's )
Fur bra's! Fur bra's!
What does a wife do when the husband is not at home?
[ The Kreutzer Sonata ]
105 hilarious jokes from the late count Leo Tolstoy,
instead of 1 ruble 20 kopecks, 15 kopecks now.
Balloons - sausage shaped, fly safely! Buy, citizens!
Forgotten and abandoned in my early years, I'm still young,
I was left an orphan, I do not share the happiness
I was left an orphan, I do not share the happiness...
Here, Lapshin matches, they burn like the sun and moon!
COCUS
( Acronym ), the Commission for Cultural Relations
And its chairman Ivan Ivan
The artist Belibedonsky
- A portrait painter, painter of battle scenes, a naturalist.
- Would you like to look at your future furniture?
- Show me.
- Certainly.
Like the famous historian said:
" Styles come in different Louises"
Here is Louis quatorze( Fourteenth ).
Thus named by the French after the revolution of '48
that came directly after the Thirteenth.
Then there is this Louis: Jacob.
And finally let me recommend,
as the most modern
- Louis the Fashion buzz.
Mr. Pont Kitsch ... Please.
- You're really from England.... I was in England.
Surprisingly interesting how one finds Englishmen everywhere.
I just bought a cap in Liverpool and
have seen the house where he lived...
... uh... Anti- Dühring*. *(Friedrich Engels, lived in L + wrote: Anti-Dühring)
Mr. Pont Kitsch - Reknown London philatelist.
Ce que on appèl (one calls) "Stamp collector" in Russian
and he is tremendously interested in chemical plants,
aviation and art in general.
He's a really cultured and sociable person.
Ce que on appèl (one calls) "Stamp collector" in Russian
and he is tremendously interested in chemical plants,
aviation and art in general.
He's a really cultured and sociable person.
Vous Comprenez?
- Then we need to open a broad champagne!
- Monsieur Momentalnikov, employee.
pre-revolutionary employee and post-revolutionary squeezer.
Here, he tests some changes by the revolution
to prevent a fall in quality.
- Comrade Momentalnikov, you need to open a big bottle of champagne!
[Gibberish] Inventor Chudakov
Taganskaya street
house number 28
28, Taganskaya Street
- My idea is sublime;
I force time to stand still or rush forward
in any direction and at any speed!
- Do you speak English? Sprechen sie Deutsch?
Vour Parlez Francais, finally?
It is very tiring.
I am forced to make "une traduction" (translation)
from us to the peasants & workmen...
- Hello, dear comrades!
We very much need us a fine Soviet Edison.
- Hello, dear comrades!
- Mr. Pont Kitsch, such a cultured, sociable person
even told us your address.
- Oh, this big-nosed bastard,
he sure can smell things out!
- I do not understand the purpose of... GIBBERISH...
- Mr. Pontus Kitsch wants to say,
that his fatherland, all foggy
from Macdonald to Churchill,
is beastly interested in your invention.
- Of course, of course, my invention
belongs to all mankind.
- The first time in the history of mankind!
Stand back!
Stand back!
Turn on!
Jump up, laugh, look at it...
[ DB 5.24.20 ]
It's a letter!
This was written 50 years ahead!
Do you understand?
Ahead! Read!
- And what's there to read? Is that a
phone-number of some fellow called WL?
- Not "WL" but" will."
They write down only the consonants.
"24" - is tomorrow,
"20" - a time.
He, she, it will be here tomorrow,
at 8 pm.
In order not to kill those that will come from there,
We immediately need people and money.
Let's all run... -... GIBBERISH... Chervontsevi
- Chervontsev (notes of 10 ruble )?
He does not need them.
I just ran for money to the State Bank.
And came...
with all the chervontsi needed. All right, Goodbye!
- May I ask you for a little bit of tact?
Your KOMSOMOL (Young Communist League)-manners,
will generate a huge international conflict someday.
- Well, we need this Soviet Edison for ourselves.
By the way, do you have a telephone?
Do not worry, I'll inform Nikander Piramidonovich..
- It is good that there is some money now.
- There is no money.
- I do not understand why, for
Pete's sake, were you bragging about it,
and then beforehand refuses us the money,
when there's at the same time a solid offer
from the foreigner...
- That's because even though you are a genius, you're a fool!
In order for your idea to become embodied in iron
you want the West rushing in
Secretly taking over the command
over a time controlling battleship?
that can invisibly hit our plants and factories?
How could I...
- But you yourself lead him to the door for a take over...
How could I...
- But you yourself lead him to the door for a take over...
- Fool, It wasn't him
I was embracing but his pocket.
- Bravo, Velosipedkin!
Let's go, comrades,
We'll grab'em by the collar and make'em come around
Eh... I'm going to gobble up
some officials and spit out the buttons!
We'll grab'em by the collar and make'em come around
Eh... I'm going to gobble up
some officials and spit out the buttons!
GLAVNACHPUPS
" It's forbidden to write on the walls "
" No Trespassing "
" Children under 16 years old are not allowed "
" Do not talk " " Out of order "
"Do not stick your neck out "
" Bringing and drinking
alcoholic beverages is prohibited "
"Don't pick the flowers " " Do not touch ", " No Smoking"
" No Exit "
" Closed "
And so, comrades,
this warning bell
will revolutionize, tram bells
The bell shall cling in the heart of every worker
and peasant. Today this rail will connect an area
known as "The 10th anniversary of Soviet medicine"square:
and peasant. Today this rail will connect an area
known as "The 10th anniversary of Soviet medicine"square:
with the former stronghold of the bourgeoisie - The hay market.
Who rode the tram up to 25 October*
(*1917)?
Has-been intellectuals, priests and the upper class.
Who rode the tram up to 25 October*
(*1917)?
Has-been intellectuals, priests and the upper class.
For how much did the ride? They paid 5 kopecks.
But who will ride now? Now WE will ride,
The labor force. For how much?
For only 10 kopecks!
Allez. (Forward)
- Comrade Optimistenko, this must end.
We go to the most Glavnachpupsu.
- It's not necessary to disturb him.
We go to the most Glavnachpupsu.
- It's not necessary to disturb him.
All is in order.
Your case is completely in order.
All is in order.
Your case is completely in order.
- It's accepted!
That's great! So the bureaucracy is overcome! Hurraay!
- First we have to find your drawer.
[ Case no.32/48
Chudakov ]
second...
catch hold of your business... third...!
superior
Deputy Chief Deputy Chief
Assistant Chief Assistant Chief
Chief started.
deputy started deputy started
Helper started Helper started Helper started (6x)
- I told you - complete in order.
.... [ REJECTED ]
- Where were we?
- You stopped at " So, comrades... "
- So, comrades, remember that Leo Tolstoy
- The great and unforgettable wielder of the pen.
His legacy of the past shine us by
on the borderline between two worlds.
- The great and unforgettable wielder of the pen.
His legacy of the past shine us by
on the borderline between two worlds.
Like a great star of art, like an entire constellation,
like the largest constellation Ursa Major!
- I'm sorry, you were talking about thew streetcar...
but now for some reason you've put
Leo Tolstoy in it while it's moving...
- What??? You feel invited
to criticize without any restrains!
If you have any self-criticism to make
use the bulletin-board newspaper!
- Ouch, Don't you dare interfere in our govern-
mental functions with those fantasies of yours.
Oh, please, glad to see you here!
Make yourself at home.
- Allow me to go on with your portrait
and capture you
as an innovator, administrator,
as well as credit manager.
- I sit here at the desk,
but paint me in side-perspective,
like on a horse.
- The horse I already painted at home,
from memory. I will now only need to
attach you to the horse.
Let me zoom in on your heroic leg.
Oh, how that polished boot does shine!
Makes a man want to lick it!
Yes!
Only in the work of Michelangelo
does one find such a clean line...
- Angelov? An Armenian?
- Italian.
- A fascist?
- Really, now!
- I do not know him. And he knows me?
- I do not know, he is an artist too.
- Ah. Well, then he probably knows me.
After all, there are a lot of artists
but only one Glavuprapups.
- What??? Laughing???
Right,...even wearing lipstick??? Out!
- And under every leaflet
there was a place for her
(Quote from Krylov: The dragonfly & the ant)
- Comrade, for Pete's sake, understand,
if we can't shift the experiment
to the space above the city,
there may even be an explosion!
- Well, you better leave.
Don't you dare threaten a government agency!.
- Get this through your head, dimwitt!...
You will kindly refrain from personal attacks!
The individual has no special role in history.
COMING SOON! COMING SOON! COMING SOON!
Film " BATH", Vl. Mayakovsky
production studio "Soyuzmultfilm"
One moment, comrades. We have to interrupt our film
due to circumstances beyond our control.
Comrade Sam Pobedonosikov
decided he wanted to see an excerpt of our film.
Please, comrades, come in.
Ha-ha!
OUT!
- In real life this does not happen!
It's all exaggerated.
It never occurs we behave like this. It's not natural,
It not like real life! It's unheard of!
Bath. What is with this bath?
Who is washed?
- The bath washes off, simply erases, bureaucrats.
The bath agitates from the perspective
of the inventor's initiative.
- It is necessary to do this anew,
tone it down, poetisize it, make it more round.
- But, comrade, let's...
- I will not allow it!
It even discredits us before all of Europe!
- But, comrade, let's...
- I will not allow it!
It even discredits us before all of Europe!
Better not translate that, please.
- Allrayt.
He just ate caviar at the banquet and now he's drowsy.
- Comrade, don't bear us an ill mind
we wanted to put our art at the service \of the struggle and positive action.
People look, and they get to work
They look, and they are aroused.
People look, and they get to work
They look, and they are aroused.
They look, and they expose whatever is bad.
- Your art is not for the masses
and workers and peasants will not understand it.
It's alright they will not understand.
Explain it to them therefor isn't necessary!
- Well, in Art one should depict a life of beauty,
beautiful people.
Show us good-looking people in beautiful landscapes,
in general: bourgeois decadence...
Or say, how rotten the West is.
in general: bourgeois decadence...
Or say, how rotten the West is.
The new struggle with the old way of life.
- Yes, yes, yes. Make it pretty for us!
At the Bolshoi Theatre
they always make it pretty for us.
- Yes, yes, yes. Make it pretty for us!
At the Bolshoi Theatre
they always make it pretty for us.
Everywhere you looked they were
dancing, and singing, and flitting about,
and those different elves, twelves, and syphilids...
You mean sylphides ?
- Bravo! Perfect! That's art!
Understandable and making sense
to me, to Ivan Ivanovich and to the masses.
- Bravo! Perfect! That's art!
Understandable and making sense
to me, to Ivan Ivanovich and to the masses.
- Yes, surprisingly interesting...
Comrade
Momentalnikov, we must launch a broad campaign.
- Well, thank you. Goodbye.
after such an elegant finale, I don't want
my impression dulled
or their bloom rubbed off..
Please accept my comradely best wishes!
- By the way, what is the name
of that little actress there?
She has a very pretty talent on her.
Looks delicious...
We must launch a broad campaign...
or maybe even a narrow one...
Just me and her, I mean.
or maybe even a narrow one...
Just me and her, I mean.
PP Triumphantikov
[Toilet]
[Do not enter without business]
- You're leaving me behind?
You think I don't know what's going on?!
I noticed they brought you two tickets.
- You better forget these
petty-bourgeois notions of a vacation.
I'm not going just to get a suntan!
I always plan ahead for the current moment
And then when I get there
a speech, a report ...
I'm not going just to get a suntan!
I always plan ahead for the current moment
And then when I get there
a speech, a report ...
BUSINESS number
Sudakov
...a resolution, in short: socialism... [ give up] [... Statement
I beg you to link and coordinate with her husband Alex.
We live : he drinks vodkuvdumchivo...]
... In my official position
I am entitled by law to a stenographer.
- When did I ever interfere with your stenography?
That's a laugh..
Well, are you kidding me?
Let me come along, for the love of God!
you can shorthand all night.
What do I care... It's ridiculeous...
You'll compromise me with your disorganized outcries,
especially when they're religious like" For the love of God."
Shush! Kozlyakovsky lives downstairs,
He might tell Pavel Petrovich,
and he is a friend of Semyon Afanasich.
Shush! Kozlyakovsky lives downstairs,
He might tell Pavel Petrovich,
and he is a friend of Semyon Afanasich.
- Come on, comrades, heave!
An error of one second
means a whole hour by out time-system
The weight of the machine is increasing with each second.
I could almost swear inside the machine
some foreign body is already materializing
- Polenka, I forgot to hide my gun.
Remember, it is charged.
To fire it all you have to do is release
this safety hatch
Well, good-bye, Polenka.
Are you coming, funny-bunny-nose?
- Shhh!
- Greetings, comrades!
I am a delegate from the year 2030.
I've been switched into your present time for 24 hours.
It's only a short time, and there's a lot to do..
[MANDATE]
A mandate?
Correct.
MANDATE
To be handed to the highest authority for accreditation
...for being transferred to the Age of Communism...
What's going on here? Good Lord, what's going on?
...for being transferred to the Age of Communism...
What's going on here? Good Lord, what's going on?
BUREAU
for selection and transfer to the communist age
Book of Complaints
" I demand that you let me bypass the line. "
Pobedonosikov
- I need to get things cleared up in connection
with the transfer: My salary, my living quarters, etc.
- What is your problem, citizen?
There is no need for you to bother her.
- Comrades! We came towards each other,
like two crew of workmen
digging a tunnel until we met today.
I was amazed when I saw those giants of earth and steel,
the grateful memory and experience
of which we still treasure a model
of communist achievement and communist living.
you have no time to step back from your work
and admire both it and yourselves.
but I am glad to tell you of your greatness!
and admire both it and yourselves.
but I am glad to tell you of your greatness!
- Forgive me comrade, for interrupting you.
I need your designation settings, fast.
Direction: infinity.
Speed: one year per second.
Destination: the year 2030.
Proceed comrades.
- Subordinate comrade Optimistenko!
you surely understand that
my problem is of major importance!
it involves a 100-years official trip by an executive - namely myself -
at the head of an entire agency.
Rejected! Impractical!
Who would want to go on a trip like that
knowing he's entitled to expenses for a 100 years,
Who would want to go on a trip like that
knowing he's entitled to expenses for a 100 years,
but will only be paid for a few seconds?
No more interviews today. Come back tomorrow.
- What interview? What tomorrow?
[RECEPTION CLOSED]
And you forgot to take down that stupid sign...
- As a senior comrade I must warn you,
that you are surrounded by people
who are not fully 100 % reliable.
Velosipedkin...
smokes! [ PRIVATE AFFAIR
eccentrics ]
Chudakov drinks!
[ PRIVATE AFFAIR Eccentrics ]
- What business is it of yours?
For all that - They work
- I'm "For all that" too,
But I do not smoke, I do not drink, I do not give tips...
Always "I don't, I don't, I don't"
Isn't there anythiong you "do, do, do"?
Always "I don't, I don't, I don't"
Isn't there anythiong you "do, do, do"?
"Do, do do"? Well, yes.
I implement directives, I file resolutions,
establish communication
I pay my party dues, I sign papers,
I stamp them with the official seal
I implement directives, I file resolutions,
establish communication
I pay my party dues, I sign papers,
I stamp them with the official seal
- Asayev, begemot, dive dog, lip is bit,
time is sneezos, my potsifization
- Mr. Pont Kitch is trying to tell you,
he can at a reasonable price he can buy up all watches,
and then he will believe in Communism.
We can understand that even without a translation.
comrades,
be on time.
At 12:00 o'clock sharp, at the station,
The first time-train will leave for the year "2030"!
Rise up and soar,
oh song of mine.
As red troops
swing along.
March onward time!
Oh, time march on!
quicken your pace
Forward time! Forward time!
Oh time march on!
Stride, my country
Yet faster still
dear land of mine
Ahead lies the commune!
Five years are planned for bonuses
We'll cut them short by one!
March onward time,
Oh time march on!
Five years are planned for bonuses
We'll cut them short by one!
March onward time,
Oh time march on!
Make factories hum ,dear land of mine,
all day and all night long!
Strike harder yet , commune of mine
Till evil ways are gone!
March onward time. March onward time,
March onward time. March onward time!
March onward time. March
Forward! Forward! Forward!
REMAINING TIME BEFORE DEPARTURE TIME MACHINE
100 / 99 / 98 / 97 / 96 SECONDS
- Comrade Dvoykin,
you can put on ordinary windshields.
The Five-Year Plan has accustomed you people
to the rhythm and speed.
Check the springs. See to it there is no jouncing
when we hit the bumps and potholes of holidays.
The going will be smoothly alright, unless
vodka bottles are scattered along the way.
- Oh, nothing left. Oh well,
there'll be enough to drink.
Comrade, I must ask you something confidentially...
Will there be a diner?
Yeah...
That compartment, then?
Yep!
REMAINING TIME BEFORE DEPARTURE TIME MACHINE
59 / 58 / 57 / 56 / 55 / SECONDS
- Comrade, what is this? A department store?
No comments please.
I could ask for an additional private car
but in accordance with my
modest scale of living I won't.
They haven't sounded the "all aboard"signal yet?
They can do it now and the second bell right after it.
Where's my briefcase with my monogram on it?
- Please don't get all excited.
I was tidying up the apartment and I saw something I thought you'd forgotten.
It looked important. What a laugh...
- Goodbye Polya, when I am settled,
I 'll send you a third of whatever is court-practice...
- Comrades! At the first signal we rush ahead,
breaking through the old, decrepit time.
The future will accept anyone who at least posesses one feature
who will make him kin to the collective
of the commune : Joy in working,
The future will accept anyone who at least posesses one feature
who will make him kin to the collective
of the commune : Joy in working,
REMAINING TIME BEFORE DEPARTURE TIME MACHINE
6 / 5 / SECONDS - Eagerness to make sacrifices,
REMAINING TIME BEFORE DEPARTURE TIME MACHINE
4 / 3 / SECONDS - Unwearying creativeness.
Comrade, Chudakov, ready?
READY
She, and you, and the author... All of you.
What have you been trying to say here?
That people like me aren't of any use to Communism?
[TESTED] [APPROVED]
[TESTED] [APPROVED]
written & directed by
Sergei Yutkevich, Anatoly Karanovich
cameramen Michael Kamenetsky
art director Felix-Lev Zbarsky
music Rodion Shchedrin
sound Boris Filchikov
Cutter Lidiya Kyaksht
Second unit art director
Valentina Vasilenko
Puppeteers: Vladimir Puzanov,
Youry Klepatsky, M. Portnaya
Animator: Vyacheslav Kotenochkin.
Text read by: Arcady Raikin, Ekaterina Raikina
camera combined life footage: B. Aretsky,
camera hand-drawn animation Nikolai Grinberg,
Ass. director M. Rapoport
Ass. Camera A Shik
Sound design A Baranov
Literary Konsultant V Katanyan
Text editor B Voronov
puppets and decor Pavel Lessin,
S. Etlis, Pavel Gussev, V. Kuranov,
Valery Petrov, V. Cherkinskaya, Vladimir Alisov,
Literary Konsultant V Katanyan
Text editor B Voronov
puppets and decor Pavel Lessin,
S. Etlis, Pavel Gussev, V. Kuranov,
Valery Petrov, V. Cherkinskaya, Vladimir Alisov,
Boris Karavaev, Roman Gurov, V. Chernikhova,
Vladimir Abbakumov, Oleg Massainov,
V. Kalashnikova Lead by ROMANA GUROVA
puppets and decor Pavel Lessin,
S. Etlis, Pavel Gussev, V. Kuranov,
Valery Petrov, V. Cherkinskaya, Vladimir Alisov,
Boris Karavaev, Roman Gurov, V. Chernikhova,
Vladimir Abbakumov, Oleg Massainov,
V. Kalashnikova Lead by ROMANA GUROVA
phosphoric women based on drawings of Picasso
Film-production orkest
Lead by E. Khachaturyan
Soloist A. Ejzen
Soyuzmultfilm 1962
Executive Producer Nathan Bitman
The End
Subs by Chapaev & Eus, march 2014