Bank of Dave (2023) - full transcript

Based on the true-life experiences of Dave Fishwick; 'Bank of Dave' tells the story of how a working class Burnley man and self-made millionaire fought to set up a community bank.

[evocative music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[train clatters]

[laughter]

Good choice. Good choice.

See you later, lads.

Did I say saxophones?

- Two-sophone.
- Three-sophone.

[host] Dave!

- You're up.
- Whoa. No, no, no, no.

[man 1] Go on, Dave!



Go on, get up there. You know you want to.

- [sighs]
- [man 2] Go on, Dave!

Go on!

Okay!

[crowd cheering]

Alright, alright.

Here we go.

["Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake playing]

♪ No, I don't know where I'm going ♪

♪ But I sure know where I've been ♪

♪ Hanging on to promises
And the songs of yesterday ♪

♪ I've made up my mind ♪

♪ I ain't wasting no more time ♪

♪ Though I keep searching for an answer ♪



♪ Never seem to find
What I'm looking for ♪

♪ Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on ♪

♪ 'Cause I know what it means ♪

♪ To walk along
The lonely street of dreams ♪

- ♪ Here I go again on my own ♪
- [all singing]

♪ Going down the only road
I've ever known ♪

♪ Like a drifter
I was born to walk alone ♪

♪ I've made up my mind ♪

♪ I ain't wasting no more time ♪

[laughing]

♪ Here I go again ♪

♪ Here I go again ♪

[guitar instrumental playing]

[indistinct]

- Take care, you two.
- Take care.

Night, Eric, -Night, Maureen.

- Here you are, Dave.
- What's this?

We got the contract.

We're building a new sports center!

Mate, that is
absolutely fantastic news, eh?

Couldn't have done it without you, mate.

This is more than what you owe.

I thought you could hang on
to the difference for me.

What am I supposed to do with it?

I don't know. Invest it or summat?

Eric, I've told you I'm not a bloody bank.

And I've told you, maybe you should be.

One that helps out the locals.

- Goodnight, Nicky.
- Night night Eric.

[curious music playing]

So, what do you think?

About what?

This bank thing.

Last time I checked, you sold minibuses.

Yeah, I know, but…

A bank that serves the whole community.

- You as a banker?
- [laughs]

Hmm, you didn't go to Eton, you didn't…

didn't go to Oxford, you don't talk posh.

Do you really think you could take
them buggers on at their own game?

I suppose, when you put it like that.

Makes me really want to give it a go.

Hmm. Well, I'd put my money
in t'Bank of Dave.

- Would you?
- Yeah.

- Come on, then.
- [laughs]

[siren blaring]

[man speaking on phone]

[phone ringing]

- [exhales]
- [phone rings]

Yes?

Okay, I'll be straight in.

No!

- Morning, Hugh.
- Morning.

How did it go
with the investment bankers last night?

Um, I can safely say
it couldn't have gone much worse.

Poorly, I'd say.

What do you call 1,000 dead bankers
at the bottom of the sea?

- A good start.
- [man laughs]

I thought it was lawyers.

Used to be, but we've been usurped.

Right, we just got a referral
from Elliot, Grossman, Stein.

They can't take the case
because of a conflict of interest.

- When has that ever stopped them?
- [laughs] Right.

So, a man wants to open a bank.

Is this the start of another joke?

This is the case.

No. The Financial Regulations Board
haven't approved a new bank in a century.

Century and a half.

Okay, who's the man?

He's from Burnley,
it's somewhere up north.

I've heard of Burnley.
I think they've got a football side.

- So he's a banker?
- He sells vans, I think.

Um, I don't know
what he wants us to do, Clarence.

We're lawyers, Hugh.

We're on the side of those paying us.
Even if they're guilty.

- Even if they're delusional?
- Even better.

This chap needs our expert legal advice.

He needs us
to submit the necessary forms for him,

he needs us to guide him

through the labyrinth
of financial rules and regulations.

Right into a brick wall.

We need to cover ourselves by telling him
about potential pitfalls of the scheme.

[inhales] Anyway, I said
you'd head up there today.

What? To Burnley?

Uh-huh.

No. Come on, Clarence.
That's a bit much, isn't it?

This isn't going to amount to anything.

You're the one who told me
never to stray outside the M25. This...

Under normal circumstances,
those are the rules,

but having just signed off
on your expenses

that yielded precisely zero in billing
from the investment bankers,

there's another applicable expression…

Which is?

Beggars can't be choosers.

[clicks tongue] Great.

["Kick" by Def Leppard playing]

[Hugh enunciating] Burnley.

[changes accent] Burnley.

[changes accent] Burn-ley.

I look for Burnley.

[drawing out] Burnley.

That's how they speak in Burnley. Burnley.
"That'll do, pig. That'll do."

"That'll do, pig. That'll do."

That's how they speak here, isn't it,
in Burnley? Burnley.

Yeah. I don't know
how they speak in Burnley, actually.

♪ I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit ♪

♪ 'Cause you never quit, quit
I gotta have it ♪

♪ I don't wanna kick… ♪

[Hugh] Quite sweet.

Like a bread advert.

Or a, um… story about a clever pig.

♪ Na, na, na-na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na ♪
- ♪ So won't you give me some more? ♪

♪ Na, na, na-na, na, na, na ♪

[Hugh] Come on, please.

Bollocks. Does nothing work
north of Watford?

[children shouting]

Oh. Hey!

Uh, sorry. Hey, hi, how you doing?

Um, yeah, I was wondering
if you could help me.

I'm looking for Finsley Gate.

No?

Uh, Fishwick Motors?

- Ah. Dave's place?
- Yeah, Dave's place.

Right. Well, get this end turned
in t'other direction.

Straight on past Tesco Metro,
four down on t'left.

Right over t'main road,
and Dave's is on t'right.

Sorry?

Get this end turned in t'other direction.

- Straight on past Tesco Metro.
- Tesco.

Four down on t'left.

Right over t'main road.

- And Dave's is on t'right.
- Yeah.

Alright, thank you.

[engine starts]

Thank you.

Bloody Londoners.

♪ I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit ♪

♪ 'Cause you never quit… ♪

What was he saying?

♪ I gotta have it
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na ♪
- ♪ So won't you give me some more? ♪

♪ Ah, kick it ♪

[shivers]

Christ.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Um, I need to see, uh, Mr Fishwick.

- Yeah, he's just upstairs, that way.
- Okay, thank you.

[sighs]

Hello, I'm Dave. How can I help you?

Hi. Hugh Stockwell
from Bentham and Green Solicitors.

Ah, Hugh, you made it!

Great. Take a load off.
How were your journey?

- Yes, fine, fine. Shall we just get…
- [Dave] Great.

…straight to it, shall we?

- Sounds good to me.
- Yes.

So… [clears throat] …I understand
that you would like… to open a bank.

That's right. [taps desk]

The Bank of Dave.

That's… [laughs] That's…
It's catchy. Very catchy.

So, tell me, how did this idea come about?

- So, as you can see, I sell minibuses.
- Yes.

[Dave] I used to sell vans.

I've got seven of these dealerships
across Lancashire and Yorkshire,

and, uh, well, I won't deny it,
I make good money.

Now, a couple of year back,
the country were in recession,

and, uh, my customers
were havin' problems making payments.

- So I started lending them me own money.
- Okay.

Pretty soon,
I were making loans to families

and small businesses in the local area.

- Why didn't they go to the banks?
- They couldn't.

For all sorts of reasons,
the banks wouldn't touch 'em.

Okay.

- Don't get me started on those buggers.
- The banks?

They caused the recession.

Speculating, treating the economy
like it were a bloody casino.

[sighs] Yeah.

[Dave] Got greedier and greedier.

Until the whole house of cards
came tumbling down.

And then, the government bailed them out.
With billions of pounds of tax money.

It came from the pockets
of the same people whose money they lost.

Hmm. Not their finest hour,
that's for sure.

- Bloody right.
- You were… Yeah.

- That's not the worst of it.
- No.

Then, the top dogs decide to keep
paying themselves millions in bonuses.

- For losing money.
- I know, but…

- Bunch of tossers.
- But…

- They should all be in jail.
- Hmm.

Yeah, but, back to the loans…

- You were making, you were saying…
- Right.

- So, I lent out just over a million quid.
- A million pounds.

Can you guess how many
of those loans went bad?

Oh, I… [puffs] …seven?

Try again, Hugh.

- Three, I mean, I don't...
- Warmer.

Not a single one.

- Wow.
- Zip-a-de-doo-dah.

In fact, some of me customers
started making money.

And they asked me to invest it for 'em.

For which you need accreditation.

[laughs] Spot on, Hugh.

- That's why you're here.
- Yes.

Uh, one last thing.
This isn't about me making money.

Every single penny of profit
goes straight to local charities.

Oh, that's… That's, um…

It's charitable, isn't it?
That's… Yeah, great.

- You don't look very convinced, Hugh.
- No, it's... I don't have any…

You're not paying me to tell you what
you want to hear, you're paying me to…

[inhales] …point out all the pitfalls
and stumbling blocks

and problems you are going to face.

Ah, and hopefully
to find a way around 'em.

Yeah.

Right, so firstly I'm going to need to see
the paperwork of those loans

and the financials of your businesses.

Phyllis has got all that ready for you.

Great. I'll talk to Phyllis
and get back to you.

- Nine o'clock, here tomorrow morning?
- Tomorrow?

Uh, yes, okay.

- Yes.
- Great to meet you, Hugh.

Great.

Welcome to Burnley.

[man] Thank you, your worship.

[gavel slams]

In order to relieve pressure
on both hospitals and GPs,

we need to find a way to bridge the gap
between primary and tertiary care.

This proposed facility does that
in the most efficient and economical way.

Doctor Ashforth.

Shouldn't the NHS be the ones
to fund this facility?

The National Health Service has agreed

to fund the running costs of the facility,

but we still need
the initial capital outlay.

[incredulous] Which is considerable.

And our limited resources
are already committed in other areas.

Well… Burnley has already earned
the dubious distinction

of being one of the most
deprived towns in the country.

We're caught in a spiral
of neglect and decay.

I mean, clearly something has to change.

But change takes courage.

That's a quality sadly lacking
in this council, and in this country.

[councillors] Hear, hear.

[gavel slams]

[Hugh] I can't believe
I have to stay for the night.

[Clarence, over phone] You'll survive.

[Hugh] Starting a new bank.
He doesn't have a hope.

I told him that
but he wanted the chance to convince you.

- How much are we charging him?
- The full whack.

Oh, no, we're not, are we?

God, I feel bad.

[scoffs] That's a first.

[Hugh] No, I do.

I feel bad I'm gonna have to
tell him to give up on the whole thing.

Well, my advice is,

let him down gently and then see if he's
willing to explore other opportunities.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess…

- Okay, thank you. Bye.
- Alright. Bye, Hugh.

- [horns beeping]
- [car alarm blaring]

Bollocks.

[comical suspenseful music playing]

Bollocks.

Stupid, stupid…

[wrench clatters]

[child] What's he doing, Dad?

- [dad] You alright there, mate?
- Huh?

- Are you…?
- Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.

Come on, then.

[jack clangs]

[screams] Bollocks!

- [water bubbling]
- [motor droning]

[exhales] Oh, my God.

- [phone ringing]
- [baby crying]

Hey, hey, sorry.

I was wondering when I'm gonna
get to see a doctor. I'm in a lot of pain.

It won't be too long.
I'm afraid it's been a busy night.

Don't know if this makes a difference,
but I've got a private health care plan.

[scoffs]

- What?
- Hear that, Dr. Ashforth?

He's got a private health care plan.

Oh! Well, wouldn't say that too loud.

Round here we tend to believe
that health is a basic human right.

Not a privilege available
to only those who can afford it.

No, I'm not negating anybody else's pain.
I'm just saying I'm in pain also, okay?

I've dropped a…

A, uh… a car thing on my foot.

Okay?

- [Dr. Ashforth] Careless.
- Excuse me?

Michelle, would you, uh,
give him some aspirin?

Wait your turn.

[barely audible radio broadcast]

Oh, dear.

- What's happened?
- [Hugh] Nothing. Just a…

An accident changing a flat tyre.

- Anything broken?
- Thankfully, no. Just my pride.

You muppet.

Is the car still there?

Yes.

I'll have one of the lads get it sorted,
brought back here.

Thank you.

[humming]

[Dave whistling]

Fancy a brew?

[Hugh] No, thank you.

Look, Dave,

I know I said yesterday that it was my job
to look for all the problems and pitfalls,

um…

but, actually, it's a bit worse than that,
because…

[Dave] I know what you're gonna say.

I know you're gonna tell me that
the Bank of Dave is never gonna happen.

You're gonna say
that the Financial Regulation Board

hasn't approved a new bank in 150 years.

- Am I right?
- Yeah.

[Dave] We got Google up here too.

But, please.

Indulge me, hmm? Just for a day.

There is method in me madness.

- I promise.
- Okay.

- Second loan I made were to Jamie.
- Okay.

Come out here one morning
and it were quiet.

His amp had packed up.
That's how he made a living.

But with no bank account, no address,
where were he supposed to turn?

So I got him a new one
and he paid me back two quid a week.

- Two quid…
- Never missed a single payment.

- Good on, you, Jamie.
- Eh up, Dave. You alright?

- ♪ It's gonna be… ♪
- Come on.

Sorry, I...

I want you to meet some more
of the people this is all about.

♪ It's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright… ♪

[Dave] Come on, Eric. The big reveal.

- Have a look at that.
- Ta-da!

- It's gonna be great for the community.
- You swim?

Basketball, cycling. Which one are you?

It sounds stupid, don't it?
It sounds stupid.

A barge builder
at top of a hill in Ribble Valley.

But he's got one of the most successful
barge building companies in the country.

Dream up your favourite boat,
he'll build it.

- Yeah.
- Okay, lads. You gonna wow us?

- [man] Take hold of that.
- [Hugh] Okay, thank you.

- Cheers, Hugh.
- I'm spoiled. Cheers.

- Okay, cheers.
- To us all.

Cheers.

♪ It's gonna be alright
You gotta solver by your side ♪

- That's a proper drop, isn't it?
- Yeah, it's good.

[man] That's really nice.

- This is my favourite.
- Okay.

This is gentle. This is the coconut.

[Hugo] Gentle's good.

Want a bit more? The Goan.

- Very nice.
- [Dave] Now, have some of this.

- Delicious.
- This is the mild one?

- Have a bit of naan with it.
- Yeah, why not? Thank you.

- Thank you.
- [Dave] You make these as well, don't you?

- [woman] Yeah.
- It's... I…

- It's to the highest standards.
- Yeah.

- Good to know.
- It's vegan. Not tested on animals.

- That's good.
- Try some of this.

- Have a squirt.
- Good quality.

- [Dave] Shocking blue…
- [woman] Have a smell.

Rub it round. It's nice.

That scent will stay with you
for the rest of the day, so…

I put it on some of my horses.

This lady's an artist.

Anyone to apologise to?
Say sorry to the wife?

- Thank you.
- Have you got a wife?

Afternoon all.
Two black coffees, please Jenny.

- [Hugh] A macchiato with oat milk?
- There she is!

- My favourite niece.
- Hiya, Dave.

- [Dave] How are you?
- Good, how are you?

[Dave] Smashing.

Oh, shit. Hi.

- Should've known you were Dave's banker.
- I'm a lawyer, actually, but, yeah…

How's the bruised big toe?

It's a bit more than bruised,
but it's okay.

[Dave] You've met already?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Hugh's advising me on setting up
this Bank of Dave.

Which we need
to get our project off the ground.

- Hmm.
- Sorry, what is that?

You know all about
waiting times at the A&E.

Here, they're some of the worst
in the country,

and it's because the people we deal with
don't actually need hospital treatment.

Their ailments could just as easily
be treated by GPs,

but it takes, on average,
11 days to get an appointment.

And, well…

No one wants to wait that long
when they're sick.

So, we're proposing a walk-in free clinic.

They can write prescriptions,

run diagnostic tests, make referrals.

Sounds like a good idea.

- [Dave] Don't it?
- Yeah.

The NHS agrees,

but they've already
been pared to the bone.

And the council weren't interested
so thought I'd try Dave.

If you were to register as a charity,

that'd be a huge incentive
for corporate sponsors.

I mean, I know it's corporate, but…

No, that…
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, actually.

[phone vibrates]

- Oh. Sorry, I'm on call.
- Oh, right.

- Got to run. I'll leave that there.
- Okay.

Great.

- Well, nice to…
- Yeah. Look after that bruised big toe.

I will. It's fine now, actually.

Not completely fine, but…

- Right.
- Yeah.

- See you, Dave.
- [Dave] See you.

- Thanks.
- [Jenny] No, problem, Alex.

So, she's…

What's all this?

All the projects that are too big
for me on me own.

Um…

- Up till now, I've helped create 150 jobs.
- Yeah.

In here, there's hundreds more.

- I get it, Dave.
- It's not just jobs.

It's about the quality of life
for a whole community.

This is all really impressive.

Okay, but unfortunately, the Financial
Regulation Board doesn't care about this.

Question I want you to answer

isn't "can the Bank of Dave exist?"

The question,
after what you've seen today,

is "should the Bank of Dave exist?"

Well…

Yes. Yes, it should.

Right.

So, this is what I want you to do.

I want you to file the necessary paperwork
with the Finance Commission Board.

I know they're gonna turn me down,

but I want them to tell me why.

I want them to admit publicly

that it's because I'm not in their club.

I'm not part of the Eton and Oxford elite.

I want them to say

that the very same people
who've just lost 500 billion quid

are the only people
entitled to look after our money.

And you don't mind losing?

Of course I bloody mind.

But it's the price I'm willing to pay
to get them to admit the truth.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, I'm in.

I'll give your boss a bell.
Tell him you're still on the clock.

[laughs] That'll make his day.

Alright. Time to celebrate.

And, as luck would have it…

tonight's karaoke night.

Oh, no, thank you.

Alexandra will be there.

Really?

[laughter]

[Dave] What I didn't tell you
is that Eric used to be shop steward

at the Michelin factory
before it closed down.

And he was a real bloody troublemaker.

- Now he employs 25 workers.
- Thirty.

- This bugger turned me into a capitalist.
- It happens.

Can barely look at myself in the mirror
of a morning.

- Hugh…
- [Hugh] Thanks.

- I'd like to introduce you to Maureen.
- Nice to meet you.

First loan I made that weren't
for a van or a minibus were to Maureen.

I heard you got yourself a posh
London lawyer to sort out this bank thing.

When you take on the fat cats,

you gotta have someone
who knows how to play their game.

I told Dave he was wasting his time with
the idea, but he's managed to convince me.

- Dave can be very persuasive.
- Yes.

I hope, for his sake, you're half as good.

Well… hopefully.

So, you received the first loan from Dave?

Yeah. I were married to Ron for 38 years.

When he died,
I had very little money in the bank.

I couldn't have afforded a proper funeral
without Dave and Nicky's help.

- [mic feedback]
- [host] Right, first up.

All the way from London…

It's Hugh.

- [Eric] Get up there.
- [Dave] Go on.

- [Maureen] That's you.
- No.

- I picked an easy one.
- Not nice.

- [Dave] You'll be fine.
- No, no.

- You know this one, you'll like this.
- No, thank you.

- Let's give him a round of applause.
- [Hugh] No, thank you.

- No, right, I'll just press play.
- [Dave] Hugh!

- [crowd chanting] Hugh!
- ["Losing My Religion" by REM playing]

[crowd cheering]

[Nicky whooping]

I honestly don't want to do this.

You'll be fine. You'll be grand.

I… I… really don't want to.

- That's funny.
- I know this one.

- ♪ Oh, life is bigger ♪
- There he goes!

♪ It's bigger than you ♪

I…

And you are not me…
I don't know this song.

Can't hear you.

♪ …lengths I would go to… ♪

[muffled] ♪ The distance in your eyes ♪

♪ Oh, no, I've said too much ♪

- ♪ I set it up ♪
- [man sings along]

- You know. Do you want to swap?
- [man] No.

- ♪ That's me in the corner ♪
- That's you!

Oh, shit.

- ♪ That's me in the spotlight ♪
- A lager, please.

♪ Losing my religion ♪

Oh, God.

♪ Trying to keep up with you ♪

[groans]

- ♪ And I don't know if I can do it ♪
- That's right.

Please help.

- ♪ Oh no, I've said too much ♪
- [crowd singing along]

♪ I haven't… I haven't said enough ♪

♪ I thought that I heard you laughing ♪

- [Dave] I wasn't laughing!
- ♪ I thought that I heard you sing ♪

Oh, come on.

♪ I think I thought I saw you try ♪

I think I'm… I think that's it.

[scattered applause]

[Hugh] Okay. I'm gonna go.

Thank you. Thanks a lot.
Thanks, Dave. Really appreciate it.

Well done, lad.

- [Nicky whoops]
- [clapping]

- [Dave] Well done, lad.
- [Nicky whoops]

Well done.

See. He's got a good voice.

- You'll bill me for that later.
- Cheers.

[all] Cheers.

- [Hugh] Speak soon. Yes.
- [Dave] Yeah, we better.

- Bye. Okay.
- [Dave] Take care.

- Cheers, Dave. See you.
- See you.

Oh.

[woman] I'll get it, you're alright.

Here you are, love.

Uh, thank you.

[calm music playing]

[laughs]

[knocking]

My God, Hugh. what did they do to you
up there in the North?

It's nothing. Silly. My fault.

I got a call from Mr Fishwick.

He's keeping you on
at your full hourly rate.

Which is, of course, music to my ears.

He also said he'd convinced you
to move forward on the Bank of Dave.

- Yes.
- Must be a hell of a salesman.

Explain, because this I have to hear.

The banks are literally
a law unto themselves.

They've created a model
of what a bank should be,

which is exactly like them.

Dave Fishwick's proposal is a new model.

A small local bank taking local deposits,
investing back into the local community.

That's a nice idea.

- FRB will never go for it, though.
- No, of course they won't.

But they are going to have to justify
why the status quo is so much better.

So, you want to take them on
in the court of public opinion?

That's not a bad idea, given the public
opinion has never being so negative.

But expect them to fight dirty.

The good news is they have to win
and we don't mind losing.

[Clarence] Hmm.

I'm liking this more and more.
What do you need?

Any advice you have
on submitting to the FRB.

You're going to need a business plan.

Talk to your friend Oscar.
He churns them out every day.

Yeah, that's a great idea.
Thanks, Clarence.

So, these are all old,
but they all follow the same pattern.

Huge upside, almost no risk.

I'll email you the software
that makes this a piece of piss.

These are great. Thank you.

What's this for?

- Um…
- I know, I know.

You could tell me
but then you'd have to kill me.

Something like that, yeah.

So, tell me,
how's married life treating you?

[sighs]

- Oh, really?
- Hmm.

Come on, it's not that bad.

The baby keeps us up half the night,
every night.

Priscilla is moody as fuck all the time.
And the house looks like Ground Zero.

Aside from that, I've…
I've never been happier.

It sounds great to me.

[indistinct chatter]

[woman] Hugh.

- Hey, Hen. How you doing?
- Hi. [laughs]

Never better. Will you join me?

- No, I…
- Oh, please.

Bloody Cynthia stood me up
at the last minute.

A client dinner the dozy cow
had forgotten about.

I'll be legless if I drink this on my own.

- Please.
- [hesitates] Okay, I'll have one.

So, what have you been up to?

I've just come back from the North.

- Hampstead?
- Uh, Burnley.

Oh. Sounds grim.

Actually, it's a surprisingly pretty
part of the world.

They've got a great football side.

Who knew? [laughs]

How's work?

[inhales] It's full on.

Giles is… Well, he's an arsehole.
As you know.

- Yeah.
- But I can honestly say I'm loving it.

Great. I saw you and Jem the other night.
How's he doing?

Yeah, he's good. He, um…

He just got a big promotion.

Great.

[Hen] Hmm.

[muffled sobs]

Oh, no. Oh no, what have I done?

[cries] Sorry.

Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing. Sorry.

[breathless sob]

- He dumped me.
- Oh, shit. I'm so sorry, Hen. That's…

I mean, what am I gonna do?

He's my boss now.
I can't go back to work there, but I…

I can't afford to lose my job.

- [gasping sob]
- I'm sure it'll work itself out.

- Maybe… Maybe slow down.
- [waitress] Yes, madam.

- Maybe not drink so much if you're sad.
- This one, yeah. Thank you.

[waitress] Absolutely.

- You okay?
- I'm fine.

- There's a step coming up.
- One, two, three.

Good. Nice.

- Um…
- [Hen giggling]

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, Hen.

No. You're vulnerable, I'm vulnerable.
This… this won't solve anything.

- No?
- No.

- Okay.
- Okay.

[groans]

I do miss you though, Hugh.

- I miss you too.
- Hmm.

- We were so good together.
- Yeah.

- Can I ask a favour?
- What do you want?

All of Jem's stuff is at my house.

- Can I stay at your house?
- Of course.

But let's just…

- Get into the cab, please. Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay.

[Hugh grunts]

[Hen] Hmm.

- Okay?
- [Hen] Yes.

- Please be careful...
- [Hen] Hello! [thud, yelps]

[sirens blaring]

[soft piano chords playing]

[dog barking]

[grunts]

[dog barking]

Oh, Christ.

[moans softly]

[sighs] Thank God.

[sighs]

Hmm.

[ominous music playing]

[scoffs]

[water pouring]

- Hey.
- [Hen] Hello.

- How are you doing? Are you okay?
- [rueful laugh] Hmm.

I have made you a very strong coffee.

Thank you.

Sorry about last night.
I was in shocking shape.

Don't be. I was glad I was there to help.

Can we go for dinner soon?

You know, like normal people.
When I'm not completely off my face.

Yes. Whenever you like.

Tonight?

Yeah.

Um…

Yeah.

- How's it going?
- Good. Getting there.

Excellent. Because I found someone
you should speak to.

Sir Charles Denbigh. Friend of a friend.

He was on the board of the FRB
until three years ago.

These days, he mainly does
legal consultancy for hedge funds.

And he's going to be helpful?

This needs to go public.

Spin Sir Charles a convincing yarn,
he won't be able to help himself.

He'll be on the phone right away

to his friends in high places
in the banking world.

Then you can tap
into the one thing you have on your side.

Everybody hates bankers.

Precisely.

Toodle pip.

Everybody hates bankers.

- [classical piano playing softly]
- [indistinct male chatter]

[clears throat] Sir Charles?

Hmm.

Hugh Stockwell from Bentham and Green.

Oh, you work with… Lawrence.

- Yeah, Clarence. Yes.
- [Charles] Clarence?

Oh…

I've never met the man.

In fact, until yesterday,
I'd never even heard of him. [laughs]

But, anyway, you're here now, so…

How can I be of service?

Firstly, thank you.

Everybody tells me you're the country's
leading expert on the banking system.

Oh, well. I've put in my time.

I'll be brief.

I represent a client who is looking
into establishing a new retail bank.

[whispers] Not an American, I hope.

[laughs] No. The gentleman in question
is definitely English.

- Yah.
- Um…

The question is more about scale.

In the rest of the economy,
we have large and small companies.

We have a chain of supermarkets
and corner shops.

- Greengrocers, butchers.
- Your point?

Well, my point is,

why do all banks
have to be like supermarkets?

Isn't there room for a few corner shops?

You're talking about Hoares.

Am I?

Oldest bank in the country, tiny.

Caters for very exclusive clientele,
old money.

No. Wh… What about people
on the other end of the spectrum?

New money?

No money.

[puzzled laugh]

I'm not… quite sure
what you're getting at, Mr Stockwell,

but there is no right size of bank.

The FRB exists to make sure

that people's hard-earned money
is entrusted to the… [inhales]

…well, right kind of chap.

- [Hugh] The type of chap you can trust?
- Precisely.

If their job is selecting
the type of chap you can trust…

[puffs] …you'd have to admit

they've been doing
a pretty piss-poor job, haven't they?

- I beg your pardon.
- Anyway, thank you, Sir Charles.

My client is the type of chap
people in his community can trust. So…

I'm sure there won't be any problems.

Thank you.

[grunts]

- [Hugh] What do you think?
- [Dave, on phone] Looks bloody fantastic.

Wouldn't be surprised if they say yes.

[chuckles] I don't know about that, Dave.

I'm going to hand-deliver this
to the FRB on Friday, so speak soon.

Okay?

Cheers.

How was your day, anyway?

[sighs] Fraught.

Everyone was being incredibly nice to me,

which is a sure sign
they're gonna get rid of you.

- How about you?
- Ah…

I had a meeting with Sir Charles Denbigh.

- You're kidding.
- Yeah, I did.

- He's a legend.
- Is he, though?

Yes. He was tipped
to be the possible governor

of the Bank of England
before the recession.

What did he want to talk about?

Nothing. I was picking his brains
about something.

- Um…
- Meetings with Sir Charles Denbigh.

- Secret trips to the North.
- Hmm.

- It's hardly secret, Hen.
- What are you involved in, Hugh?

- Not involved…
- Come on, spill.

I'm filling the formal paperwork out
at the end of the week,

so till then,
it has to be just between us.

Of course.

I have a client
who wants to start a new bank.

You're kidding.

He's aware the FRB
will inevitably turn him down,

but he wants to force them to go public
with what they think a bank should be.

Well, that'll certainly stir things up.

Your client's credible?

[doubtful laugh] Yeah.

He's certainly a character, but…

But, yeah, I think he is.

[Hen] Hmm.

- May I help you?
- Hey.

I'm here to submit a proposal
for the establishment of a new bank.

[laughs]

I'm not sure that's something
we deal with here.

According to the Financial Markets
and Services Act passed in 2000, it is.

Oh… uh…

If you'd like to take a seat,
I'll find someone who can help.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

[phone clatters, dial tone]

- Apologies for keeping you waiting.
- Hey.

Edward De Thame.

Hugh Stockwell from Bentham and Green.

Here is the proposal.

It's a long time since we've had
an application for a new bank.

- 150 years, I'm told.
- Indeed.

- Right, we'll be in touch. Right.
- Brilliant.

[man, over phone]
Giles, Sir Charles Denbigh on line one.

[nervous grunt]

[clears throat]

Sir Charles. What can I do for you?

Your friend Hugh Stockwell
is causing us problems.

[Giles] Hugh? He's not exactly a friend.

We hired him a while back
just to do some legal donkey work.

He's just filed with the FRB
to set up a new bank.

[Giles] Doesn't sound like Hugh.
He's hardly a high-flyer.

Well, it's hardly
a high-flying bank either.

More of a corner shop.

I see. So, less of a problem.

[Charles] Quite the opposite.

It's one thing rich foreign corporations
trying to home in on our business.

We know how to deal
with those buggers, but once…

ordinary people start thinking
they can get in on the act,

the floodgates'll open.

Of course. I see. So…

So how can I help, Sir Charles?

I may need to call on you at some point.

For now, I have the situation
well in hand.

[soft suspenseful music playing]

[exhales]

[dial tone]

[Hen, on phone]
Sir Charles. Do we have a deal?

[Charles] Send me that page
and you'll have your promotion.

[suspenseful music playing]

[distant siren blaring]

[sirens approaching]

Bloody hell?

[car door slamming]

[indistinct voices]

[radio chatter]

[dial tone]

[phone vibrating]

Hello.

[Alexandra] Dave's been arrested.

On what charge?

Loan sharking.

[Hugh] Really?

[hesitates] Um, I… I'll call you back.

I can't find anything illegal here.
These are all person-to-person loans.

Unless there's coercion or threats
of violence, it's not loan sharking.

Go to page 11.

I haven't got page 11.

Probably still in the photocopier.

You've got the photocopied version.
These are the originals.

The first loan Dave made
was through Fishwick Motors.

[Hugh] So what? He has a lending licence.

He's allowed to lend money
to buy a van or a minibus.

This is for funeral expenses.

Surely that's just a minor technicality.

It's illegal money lending,
for which you'll get a slap on the wrist,

and a criminal record.

- Of course.
- I told you they'd fight dirty.

[Dave] This isn't a big deal.

They let me out on bail
after a couple of hours.

- But they did charge you?
- Yeah.

- Can I see the charge sheet?
- [Dave] Alright.

- [Hugh] Hello.
- Hi.

[Hugh] This is actually very serious.

The police said the magistrates
might fine me a few quid.

- I'm not gonna prison.
- But you would have a criminal record.

Which means you wouldn't be able to run
a financial institution.

Exactly. If they get a conviction
for this, they've won.

There's no more Bank of Dave.

[Nicky] There you go, love.

- [Dave sighs]
- [Hugh] Thank you.

[Hugh clears throat]

It weren't even supposed to be a loan.

Sorry?

The one they're talking about.
The first… to Maureen.

- Yeah.
- I've known her and Ron for years.

He deserved a proper send-off.

I were happy to pay for it,
but Maureen didn't want charity.

So,

I used one of the forms from
Fishwick Motors to make it into a loan.

When she paid me back,
I had to file the paperwork.

[sighs]

So… what's Dave's