Bad Therapy (2020) - full transcript

I know. It's really,

really stupid.

The rules say, oh, you can't

have bra straps showing.

I think it's the stupidest

thing I've ever heard.

Right?

Like, no bra straps?

What's with that?

Yes, thank you! I know.

- You don't look ready to go.

- Stop it!

Two minutes!

Oh, I've got an unbelievably

busy day today.

I'm meeting Roxy for coffee at nine,

and then I've got five houses to show.

Everybody wants to sell,

but who can afford to buy at these prices?

Hmm.

- It's yummy.

- Hmm.

I'm trying to unclog your heart.

My heart is not clogged.

You eat like a teenager.

Let's face facts.

Oh, come here.

It's time for you to face facts.

Okay?

Face it.

Louise!

Hmm, you smell great.

It's that perfume you

got me for my birthday.

Oh, yeah? Good for me.

Oh.

All right. Let's go. Backpack.

Okay, I'm getting it.

- Will you take these, please?

- Yeah.

Okay.

Bye.

Hey, Louise, laces.

Goodbye to you.

Yuck.

Hello.

Amigo!

Rob's Cafe, yes, yes.

You read my mind.

Could you give me

like a half an hour?

Yeah, order me, I don't

know, the No. 2 special,

over-easy bacon on the side,

and you know what?

While you're at it, why don't you throw in

a neat little stack of buttermilk pancakes?

How about that?

Oh, hey.

Hi.

Oh, hey.

- You look amazing.

- Thanks.

Did you do something

to your hair?

I washed it.

Hmm, looks really good.

- Thank you.

- So,

can you tell?

I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God!

I couldn't say anything until I was at least 12

weeks along but I finally heard the heartbeat.

Oh, my God! That's so exciting.

Actually, I should

say heartbeats.

Twins?

Triplets.

I know! I know! I know! I

know! Oh, my God! Okay.

I mean, I knew... I knew this was a

possibility because of the fertility drugs,

but Nicky is shitting bricks.

Therapist has to work

to calm him down.

Oh, I didn't know

you saw a therapist.

Ah, triplets,

I can't believe it.

I'm gonna have a

house full of kids.

I only going to have to

wreck my body one time.

I mean, I'm just...

I'm over the moon.

I've already hired

a nursery designer.

Is it helping?

Oh, God, I'm buying

everything in sight.

No, I mean, the therapist.

Why? You guys don't go?

No, but I think maybe we should.

Problems?

It's mostly just money stuff.

That's why I think I

need to get a new job.

No, no, honey, you are married.

It is the man's job

to make the money.

Yeah, Bob doesn't care.

He's fine with things

the way they are.

He better care if he wants

to stay married to you.

All right. Just play it half

speed from right here.

That's good. All right. So, now,

let's keep... it's after this, time right,

okay, stop, pause,

see? Right there.

Do you see it? Run it back frame by frame,

frame by frame, slowly, a little bit further,

and right there.

Look, they're dancing.

See it? Polar bears dancing.

Yeah. Ha? That's our cover.

That's our cover. Print

that image. That's great.

You must be

so happy. That's great.

But... but back...

back to the house.

So, Larry, I mean, I think it

checks all the boxes, right?

It... it, you know, it's got

the-the pool, the Jacuzzi,

yeah, and it's great

for entertaining.

Oh, can you hold on one second?

Larry, I need one second.

I'll be right back.

Hi.

Yeah.

No, no, I'm... I'm... I'm waiting

right here for you. Yeah.

Uh, no, I can't come

back at seven tonight.

No, no, no, no, it's fine. These things

happen. We... we'll reschedule it.

You have a great audition, okay?

Good luck! Bye.

Larry, it's me, I'm back.

Thanks for holding. Okay.

I think that if you want the house,

you're gonna have to make an offer.

Hello, Larry?

Ugh!

- I hate real estate.

- Uh-oh.

- What the heck!

- It will get better.

I don't know, maybe

it's just a midlife thing.

Life is just...

Maybe you should get a new job.

I like my job.

Of course you do, and that's what I love

about you. You're so easily pleased.

I want a break

from all the drudgery.

I mean, I want

my life to expand.

Yes, I know... I know

what you mean.

- You do?

- Yeah, I do. I do.

- You do?

- I do. I do. I do.

That's why I think

that if we had a baby...

I told you I don't

want a goddamn baby.

We must have been insane not to

resolve this before we got married.

Huh! Baby? Yeah, a baby! Who's gonna take care

of the baby and all the stuff for the baby

and everything like that?

Guess what? Roxy's

pregnant with triplets.

In your wildest dreams you cannot imagine

the torture the triplets would be,

and our marriage

would snap like a twig.

She and Nick are in some kind of therapy

like marriage counseling or something.

Oh, Jesus.

I think we should try it.

It doesn't mean that there's

something wrong with us.

It just means that we want to

understand each other better.

It... it's totally normal.

It may be totally normal,

but why do we need it?

Because we do,

because it's a good idea.

We're fine the way we are,

and you talk about money issues, right?

We're just... we're gonna pay to... to

invite a complete stranger into our lives?

Well, we could, for example,

get a little help with the baby question.

I mean, couldn't

we at least try it?

It could change

our lives, right?

I'm against it, but... but

if it'll make you happy, I'll

try it once to make you happy.

You are such a wonderful man.

Oh.

Hmm.

If we hurry, we got some time

before Louise gets home.

I don't need much time.

Mom!

What?

I need more time than that.

Hi.

How are you?

Traffic was stupid.

It was.

Yeah, yeah, terrible.

Welcome.

I'm Judy Small.

Please come in.

So the best way to begin is for you to

tell me a little bit about why you're here.

Um,

I guess

I just really want

our marriage to be

the real thing.

You think it isn't

the real thing?

No, I... I didn't... no,

I didn't mean that.

I... I just... um...

For whatever reason I think

I just... I don't feel satisfied.

Why do you think that is?

I don't know.

I met my first husband

when I was in college.

We fell in love,

and we got married,

and we had Louise,

and one day I woke up to a ringing phone

and he was dead.

He was out fishing at

night with his friends and

he fell overboard and

was killed by the propeller.

I am sorry.

For five years I took

care of Louise all by myself.

I made all the money.

I paid all the bills, and

I took the garbage out,

and I guess I just-

I kind of want to

be taken care of.

- And you feel that Bob doesn't take care of you?

- No, I... I mean, yes.

I love Bob.

I just-

I think maybe I want

more than he does.

He... he doesn't seem to

care about money at all.

No, I care.

I care. It's just that money has

never been that important to me.

I just want to be happier I

guess, you know, I want... if

true happiness exists, and I think it does,

I mean, I definitely tasted it with Bob.

If happiness is out

there, I just really want it.

I see.

Why are you here today, Bob?

Well,

yeah, Susan pretty

much dragged me here.

Tell me, what is it

you do professionally?

Oh, um, I'm the Head of

Programming at The Nature Channel.

I love that channel.

You do?

Yes, I find animals

just so fascinating.

Oh, well, I just uh...

you're going to love this.

I just finished this special

about polar bears.

Just remarkable animals.

Remarkable.

Well, that's splendid.

I just want our marriage to be the best

it can be, to be as strong as it can be.

Is there something

wrong with that?

Do you have ideas about how I might

be able to help you in this regard?

Well, yes, I mean there are a few

things, maybe one, or two, or three.

First, there's the issue of, you

know, how we both feel about money,

how much we need

to feel secure.

- I think that's a big one.

- Hmm.

And then there's the issue

of whether or not

we have a baby.

Mm-hmm.

And then there's our family dynamic, you know,

Louise, my daughter, she's 13 years old

and she's lovely.

She's a blossoming

young woman, really, and

lately I wonder

if it's getting

complicated for Bob.

What?

What are you even

talking about right now?

The other morning,

in the kitchen,

I saw you looking at her.

She was in her underwear.

Yeah.

Yes.

I see Louise.

I'm not looking at her, not in the

way that you're implying at least.

I can't even believe

you're saying this.

You know what? I think... I think I'm a pretty

damn good stepfather, and a good husband...

- Yes.

- too for that matter.

I love Louise.

I love Susan, but

a comment like that,

that is just damn hurtful.

It's damn hurtful.

Perhaps Louise

should join us next week.

If you think that's

helpful, yeah.

I defer.

So are you and Bob

getting a divorce?

Oh, baby, of course not.

- No.

- Well, then why are you seeing a shrink?

- Never mind. Don't tell me.

- She sees lots of couples.

Don't tell me that.

That's really gross.

- Really, gross?

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, it's so gross.

- Yeah, it's disgusting.

Listen, you are a very

important part of this family,

and you are my favorite

person in the entire world

so I want you to come

with us next time we see her.

- No way.

- Yes.

- No! No, I... I won't do it.

- You are going to see her.

- No.

- Yes, you are.

- Yes, you are.

- No.

Yes!

- Señor.

- Amigo.

How are those polar

bears coming?

Good, yeah, almost set to go.

Great.

Uh, you got a minute to talk?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem.

What's up?

Clarette got pink-slipped at Disney so she's

freaking out about finding a new job, and

I don't exactly blame her

'cause times are tough.

Yeah, I'm sorry

to hear that, man.

Yeah, so our income just got cut in half, and

now she decides she wants to get married,

and buy a place with a

swimming pool up in the hills.

I thought you and

Clarette were married.

No, just... just keeping house.

Anyway, that's...

that's not why I'm here.

Um, you know, Annabelle

Bernard down in accounting?

Dark hair, great

legs, short skirt.

Yeah, yeah, sure, Annabelle.

We... we started this thing,

you know, nothing serious.

Just a couple of days a week at lunch, and

then yesterday she comes into my office,

closed the door behind her, as soon as that

happens, man, my heart went through the floor

'cause she's in love with me,

wants us to quit our jobs, move to Mexico.

Seriously?

Yeah.

And... and I'll tell you what scares the

shit out of me. It's... it's not Clarette.

I... I can handle Clarette.

It's... with the world turned upside down these

days, all she has to do is point the finger

and my ass is grass.

Sexual harassment?

You think she'd do that?

Nowadays? Come on.

These women will do anything.

Wow! Well, have you

tried talking to her?

Have you ever tried talking to a woman

especially one that's pissed off at you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um-

Um, do you want

me to talk to her?

Oh, man, would you?

Yeah, sure.

You're a gentleman

and a scholar.

No, it's my pleasure.

- Thank you.

- For sure.

Hey I'd love to stick around, but I got an

appointment across town I got to get to.

- Job prospect?

- Yeah, no, no, no, no.

Marriage counseling.

- Ooh.

- Yeah.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

It's okay to laugh.

I just think this whole

thing is weird.

Laughter can be very constructive

sometimes just for the release of it.

I laugh between sessions,

alone, right here in my office.

Oh, bless you.

Thank you.

There.

Bingo!

Hmm,

one sneeze.

If I didn't have my hankie, bacteria,

germs would've spread amongst us all.

Think of your conflicts as germs,

left unchecked, without a hankie,

they spread among you...

the three of you, living unit.

I have never really felt

like a germ before.

Well,

other than mortality

itself, it is the

human bond most essential,

a web that ensnares us all.

Ensnares?

Yes, I'm referring to the thread of

life that wraps us around and binds us.

Hmm.

Um, do I have to be here?

'Cause I have homework.

Louise, this is your chance, in the safety

of this room to say anything you want.

Well, there is something

since I'm here.

Baby, we wanna hear what

you have to say. Go ahead.

I have no freedom.

My mom is scared to let me do

anything ever since my father died.

That is not true.

I'm 13, and I can't even

go on a sleepover.

You've been on a sleepover.

Once, and then you showed up in the middle of

the night in your pajamas with Comfy Cream.

You'd slammed your finger.

It was 'cause the girl having

a sleepover only had a dad.

Oh, not true.

Yes, it is. It is so true.

- No, it's not true!

- Yes, it is.

It's true, right?

You know what? I think your mother

just wants what's best for you.

Louise, just so I understand,

are you saying that your mom,

what, is

afraid of men?

She definitely

doesn't trust them.

I cannot believe that

you're saying this.

Can I go? Can I,

please, be done, Mom?

Fine by me.

Bye, sweetie.

- Bye-bye.

- Mm-hmm.

You... you do understand that you have to take

everything Louise says with a big grain of salt.

I'm really pleased that I got

the chance to meet her.

You know what? I should say right

now that Susan is a wonderful mother.

Thank you.

I needed that.

Okay. Well,

I've had this chance to see you as a family

unit, and there are some certain tensions.

What would you think about the idea of

me spending time alone with each of you?

I think that sounds

like a great idea.

Hmm.

There's this new couple, the

Howards, typical LA couple.

Their problems are

very ordinary as is she,

but there's something

about the husband,

something elusive.

It's a quality.

It's very difficult to define.

I've just learned that

Judith Smolinsky James is in Los Angeles.

Apparently, she's resumed her practice

there under the name of Judy Small.

What did he say? Judy who?

It was inevitable.

Someone please fill me in.

She was removed from our roster two

years ago for unprofessional conduct.

It was an unfortunate incident of

counter transference enactment.

Why do I not know this?

You must have blocked it?

Whose case?

Yes, she was mine.

A severely narcissistic woman,

unanalyzable, entirely without boundaries,

but with an intact capacity

for reality assessment.

For 15 years she had

a spotless record.

I mean, essentially this woman

was raised by wolves.

It was a classic case

of soul murder.

So what are we supposed to do?

Howl at the moon? Dangle red meat?

I... I think she still has a

contribution to make.

Except for the patient in

Boston who killed himself.

Her method was unorthodox

to say the least.

Look, I'm not saying that

mistakes weren't made.

Mistakes that I

am trying to rectify,

but I will tell you all that unofficially

I have been trying to find her.

She's drawing you into

a boundary violation.

Well, I'm certainly being drawn into a role change,

but I'm the only authority figure she's got.

Okay.

Dress code.

Stress code.

...appearing in torn-tattered,

dirty clothing, skin-tight short shorts,

beach clothing or other garments

inappropriate for blah, blah, blah.

Try this on.

Good.

Aren't these perfect? Noisy.

- Perfect.

- Yeah.

I know. I'm wearing the blue

tights that I cut up the other day.

Mm-hmm. And the shirt that

I cut up with the red top under.

We're leaving.

One second.

- Bye, baby, have a good day.

- Bye.

- Thanks, Mom.

- Hmm.

- Love you.

- I love you, too.

We should do this every day.

Ditto.

You two.

Yes, you two.

Ladies, I know you were at

the assembly last week, right?

Yeah, sure.

And you're aware of

the new dress code?

Sort of.

No torn clothing.

These clothes aren't torn.

We cut them ourselves.

To my office.

Discuss this further.

James,

how's this finger?

Come with me too.

And the rest of you, homeroom.

Come on.

You've got no idea how much

dough this place takes in.

Our work is lining

other guys' pockets.

They're raking in

it upstairs on our backs.

I got all the numbers.

I know how much

you make every year.

125, right?

Well, yeah, you know, I'm

gonna ask Beaver for a raise.

They all gonna be rat shit.

- Beaver pulls in 10 times that much, and that's before bonuses.

- Ten times?

Look, we

start our own outfit.

We don't have to limit

ourselves to that nature crap.

We can do whatever we want.

Well, I like the nature crap.

All the big media companies

need content right now.

It's the same

drumbeat every day.

Content is king.

Parents are looking for a place to park

their kids and we can provide that.

Who's our partner?

Motherfucking nature.

Walter's got all the contacts.

He can sell ice to

fucking Eskimos.

We get to keep doing exactly what

we're doing right now except this time

we're lining

our own pockets.

Okay.

Okay. So why do

you guys need me?

We're great at making deals.

You're great at making product.

Conservatively, we're gonna quadruple

our take home in the first year,

but remember, Beaver gets one

whiff of this and we're fucked.

Did you have sex

after our last session?

Bob and I?

Yes.

You mean right after?

Susan, we're trying to understand

how you are, just you and Bob

together, your

sexual dialogue.

So you're here to satisfy Susan,

is that the pattern? Her needs dictate?

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, probably.

I don't have a single couple in my practice

that doesn't have some conflict in this area.

Um, I'm confused because

that's not really our problem.

She knew what I did when she married

me, and what can I do about that?

- Of course she did.

- Yeah.

And you're a man and you

have needs of your own.

Yeah, well, I'm not sure Susan's

too concerned about that.

Sex is one way that we stave off a fear of loss

which feels particularly resonant for you.

You've already

lost one husband.

You don't want to lose another.

Oh, God.

I don't think that I'm afraid

of losing Bob, do you?

Have you been faithful to him?

To Bob? Yes. Absolutely.

And what do we know

about his sexual history?

I mean, he was 39 when we married so

he must have known a lot of women.

He does seem to

appreciate women.

You could tell that so quickly?

Well, we can run,

but we can't hide.

It's not uncommon for women, especially

women who tend to be controlling, to become

competitive with their

adolescent daughters.

No shit.

Has he been faithful to you?

I'm sorry. What

was the question?

So could the tension be

from something else?

Like what?

Your sexual history.

Why? Why did... did

Susan say something or-

Did Susan say something?

Sheila, right? It happened

before we were married.

That's so unbelievable.

Okay.

So I had this one-night thing with

an ex-girlfriend named Sheila.

I confessed to Susan because it made

me realize that I was in love with her.

I proposed to her that night.

I can't believe

she's still angry.

I cannot believe it.

Trust is like a muscle.

Once it's torn,

it's difficult to repair.

Better watch out. Mom

is in a pretty shitty mood.

Thank you for the warning.

How's your day?

Fine. Louise!

I just saw her leave.

What? I... I just sent

her to her room.

Honey, maybe just this one

time you should let it go.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

It's gonna be dark really soon,

and she's out there all alone.

I don't think that's

really safe, do you?

- Ha.

- Considering the fact that there's been three robberies

in this neighborhood

in the last six months,

to say nothing of the fact

that I sent her to her room.

Sounds like you guys had

a pretty tough afternoon.

Oh!

What the fuck?

Hey, you know what?

I think we need a vacation.

Oh, yeah? That sounds

great. With what money?

Don't you worry about money, okay? Our money

situation is about to change for the better.

How? What happened?

Let's rent a convertible, drive up the

coast, stop whenever we feel like it,

rent motels by the

hour, no-tell motels.

- Hmm, that does sound good, doesn't it?

- Mm-hmm.

Did Beaver give you a raise?

And Louise can

stay with friends.

Hell, she's probably old enough

to stay here by herself.

I am, definitely.

The next time I tell you to go to

your room I expect you to stay there.

Will you tell her that I'm getting

too old for the room stuff?

Tell her yourself.

I'm getting too old for the room stuff unless

you need permission from your therapist.

Oh.

I am trying very hard to deal with a

lot of confusing and difficult things

which is why I

sought out Judy Small

so I would appreciate it if you could

give me a little bit more respect.

Well, Judy Small is a loser.

I didn't ask you

for your opinion,

but because I care about your

thoughts, um, go ahead, tell me.

What do you think?

I don't trust people

who wear scarves.

I wear a scarf.

- No, you don't.

- Hey, hey, come on.

Let's... let's just all cut

each other a little slack, huh?

Thank you. Exactly.

I need to watch somebody

turn... someone has to turn...

I know but it's... it feels

like... it feels like years.

Oh, how are my babies?

I will see you

fine ladies later.

Bye, Nick.

Do you and Nick ever talk about what happens

at Judy Small's, like, outside of the office?

No. Nick and I don't talk at

all. That's why we're going.

She has me and Bob going separately,

and I... we don't even talk about it.

I don't know if I

like it or hate it.

I love being pregnant.

I mean, look at me,

I'm glowing.

There was this guy getting a cappuccino yesterday

who said he had to put on his sunglasses

'cause I was so dazzling.

Hey, you don't get to be

depressed while I'm pregnant.

I'm not depressed.

I'm just a little discouraged.

Susan, you are not pulling

another one of your no-shows.

You are coming to

Nick's launch party.

Stern is gonna be there.

I need you to meet her.

There are gonna be a lot

of big people at this thing.

I thought Nick was a writer.

Writing is not big money. This

thing with Stern is big money.

Now, I have until four o'clock today to

decide on the stencils for the baby's rooms.

I have it narrowed

down to koala bears,

and sailboats, and then these

adorable little Raphael angels.

So do you want to help me?

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

Hi, Juanita.

Can we have the stencils on the

counter in the kitchen, por favor?

So cute. Oh.

Also, can we have a pitcher of iced tea?

Pretty, pretty, por favor.

Thank you.

Twenty-three more minutes?

Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe we

just have to sit here.

Detention so sucks.

I hate this school.

It sucks.

We're such idiots.

We're out of here.

Where are you going?

Later.

I'm not allowed to take

public transportation.

Me neither.

Hi, person!

Judith, it's Ed Kingsley.

I've been trying to reach

you for some time.

I understand you're in Los Angeles,

but it's important that we speak.

We have some matters that

I think we need to discuss.

So, please, call me.

It's not too late to reach

a deeper understanding.

Oh, my God.

That's Judy Small. She's

the marriage counselor.

Hey, yo, marriage counselor!

What are you doing?

Oh, crap.

Oh! Oh, my God.

She marked me.

You need to tell your mother.

I'm not allowed to take the bus.

I don't know

what I'm doing wrong.

I was hoping that by embarking on this

journey that my life would get better,

but as weird as it sounds,

I think it's getting worse.

How do you feel

it's getting worse?

Well, I've found myself

daydreaming about my first husband,

wondering what my life would

be like if Dominic hadn't died.

You know, it's crazy, this life that

we have, you know, like you pick

a husband which means you pick a

life, and he dies so it dies.

Has it occurred to you

you're longing for justice?

Justice?

Payback for Bob's

past sexual infidelity?

He told you about that?

About... about Sheila?

It's important that we get

to the root of these issues.

Oh, God, but I... I didn't

think he still cared about that.

Did you think it was trivial?

Are you not aware that your husband

is an exceedingly attractive man?

I know he's an attractive man.

It may be that you

need to take action.

Take action?

In order to make peace with his sexual history,

you may need to rebalance the sexual scales.

The sexual scales?

The power dynamic.

I'm so confused.

You may need to even the score.

Hey!

Hi.

So tell me upfront, is

this work or pleasure?

Hmm.

Hey, can I get a martini

straight up twist? Thank you.

Or does this have something to do with

Reed and Walter's new business venture?

Wait, wait. How did

you hear about that?

Oh, Reed mentioned it to

me a while ago, you know,

pillow talk.

Oh, hmm.

No, no, that has... that

has nothing to do with that,

or your work by the way which is great,

yeah, across the board, excellent.

- Yes.

- Cheers!

Thank you.

No, Reed came into my office the other

day, and he's concerned that-

that there might be some,

I don't know, bad blood or...

What an asshole he is?

Ha-ha.

You know how, uh,

sometimes you can want something but

then not even realize that you want it?

Yes, yes, I do.

I had wanted to leave my

husband for a very long time,

and then when Reed

stepped in, I just-

I kind of just let myself

get carried away by him.

The shock was how fast and scared he

ran because I never even mentioned

the word sexual harassment, but since he

put it in my head, I don't know, I mean,

I'm tempted, and I would do it, too, if I

had to, you know, just to protect my job.

Well, of course you would,

of course, no question.

You're married, right?

Yes, I am.

- Yes, you are.

- There it is, the evidence.

I was married for 13 years.

Wow! Just three for me.

Ooh, that's long enough.

Well, yeah.

Hmm, you want to get

another one of these?

Yeah, why not?

I mean, I have time

for a quickie.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, thank you.

Yippee! I think I

found you a job.

What?

Pinot furniture, genius designer, you

have to fly to San Francisco to meet him.

- Okay?

- Oh, thank you.

Okay.

You have to meet Serge.

He's married to Stern.

Now, she's a star,

but he's pretty amazing.

Serge, this is my friend Susan.

Oh, hello.

- We have known each other for...

- Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Serge is the host

of the stellar affair.

Delighted to have you.

Spread your wings, celebrate.

- Thank you.

- This is Stern.

Stern, this is my friend Susan.

Hi, welcome.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

All right. Let's do it.

Hmm.

- Yeah.

- Hmm.

So tell me, I'm curious...

Mm-hmm.

...how did it all work, you know, like,

did your... did your husband move out?

I'm... no, I'm just... I'm just

curious about the logistics.

I'm a logistics guy.

Do you want to know

the secret to a divorce?

Hmm.

It is the best thing

in the world.

It is fantastic.

I mean, I just can't believe how long I

tied myself in knots trying to avoid it.

It's like taking out the trash.

You do it, and bam! It's done.

Wow! So just like

that? 13 years? Out.

Done.

So tell me another secret?

What?

- So now you want to know all my secrets, huh?

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Yeah.

- Some I do wanna know, yes.

All right. Well, the truth is,

it's all easy, everything,

anything.

Huh.

Once you realize that everything

is structured to keep us down...

Pressed down.

Yes, frightened of ourselves.

Yeah. But not you?

Uh-uh.

No, not me.

Not anymore.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

- No, no, no, no!

- Yes!

Everybody drives

better on two martinis.

- Everybody knows that.

- Oh.

That, sir, is my carriage.

I can't.

This... this is my chariot.

- Have a good night.

- Good night.

Sorry. I'm so sorry.

- Hello.

- Where the hell are you?

Oh, shit, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I... I was held up at work

and I... I'm leaving right now. Bye.

Hurry, please.

I'll see you at work.

To our new venture!

And to those of us lucky enough

to get in on the ground floor...

There's nothing I love

more than making money.

Hey, we saw an

opportunity and we seized it.

- Yeah.

- Perch me that deal!

- Wooh!

- Yeah.

- Cheers, darling, cheers.

- Right. Right.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Crazy traffic.

South Island, they'll see you.

Congratulations, Nick.

- Thank you.

- Well, that's the point of money, darling.

We don't want to be sitting

ducks for the apocalypse.

That's the symptom,

the fear of O.

The fear of O?

Ouroboros, the serpent

that eats its own tail.

Right, right.

None of us is immune.

It happened to me last week.

Why, what happened?

I'm driving home from the gym at 6:00

a.m., Mulholland, I'm at a red light

when three guys cut me off, pulled me

out of the car, stick a gun in my face,

and discuss whether or not

they're gonna blow me away.

They take my wallet, my watch, my rings, my

cell phone, get in the car, and drive off.

It's the end of a

civilized world.

It is inevitable.

I, for one, refuse to surrender.

- Did they find your car?

- Who the fuck is they?

Darling, be nice.

They... there ain't no they.

You can kiss goodbye the idea that there's someone

out there who is gonna make it all better

because the guys on the white

horses have all run scared.

That's true, yeah.

Where on earth did you

find these people?

Oh, I know. Aren't they

great? Stern is fabulous.

Are you okay?

You look dehydrated.

Um, I need to talk to

you about Judy Small.

Ah, I am getting fat.

You are pregnant with triplets.

Yeah.

Judy Small thinks that

I should have an affair.

She said I needed to even the sexual score because,

you know, Bob had that thing with Sheila.

But that doesn't count. That

was before you were married.

Judy Small seems

to think it counts.

Maybe she just thinks you

need to have a little fun, huh?

- Let's see what I have here.

- Oh, so...

Yes.

Have fun.

Try these.

In fact, take the bottle.

I can't take it anymore

'cause I'm pregnant.

They'll help you unwind.

I need to unwind.

- You really do.

- I'm really stressed.

- You really are.

- Okay.

- Ah.

- Mm-hmm.

- Go on.

- Ahh.

Yeah! You should get out more.

Come on. We're going home.

Right now. Now.

This way.

Bye.

Wooh! Who's next?

Bob Howard,

you are a tight,

secretive, little man.

Jesus Christ! How much did

you have to drink tonight, huh?

Oh, boo-hoo.

I guess you'll have to tell

your therapist all about it.

Oh, wow!

Maybe I should have an affair.

Yeah, maybe you should.

Why? Are you thinking about it?

Maybe.

You're incredible,

you know that?

Do you mean me, or

do you mean Sheila?

Sheila?

She must be on your mind or else you

wouldn't have told Judy Small about her.

I didn't tell Judy Small

about her. You did.

I didn't tell Judy Small about

your sexual transgressions.

She told me that you told her so

don't pretend that you didn't.

- This is so fucked up.

- Yeah, bingo!

Your fault.

- Bingo.

- Bingo.

You know what, Susan? If you were

smart, you'd know that I'm a man.

Yeah, such an attractive man.

Yeah, that's right.

I'm an attractive man

with needs of his own.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha.

You know, I'm... I'm

having a really hard time

getting comfortable with your

suggestion that I even the score.

Is that what you think I said?

That's what I know you said.

I mean, you can't be implying that I'm

the one who said I should have an affair.

I would entertain that idea.

That's a very real possibility,

and you can certainly grant me that you must

be finding your impulses pretty scary, hmm?

Isn't that what you learned

by your behavior at the party?

Bob said he didn't

tell you about Sheila.

I can't discuss what

Bob said or didn't say.

You know I don't think

you like me very much.

This

is going to help you

relax

and open.

Okay.

Why don't you tell me

whatever is going

through your mind?

All right. Uh...

Oh!

You know what? I had

the craziest dream last night.

Oh.

Yeah.

Wow.

Tell me about it.

Um...

I was on this rowboat

with Annabelle.

You know that woman

from work I told you about?

Yes.

Yeah, so we were on this rowboat and...

and, you know, she's there and

I'm watching a fish-

just luminescent fish

like a rainbow trout.

And so, I'm... I turned back to

Annabelle and she's undressing.

Actually, you know what? No.

That's not true.

I was undressing her,

and we are in a hotel room,

and she was naked except

for this black brassiere.

And she took the brassiere off,

but

when she did,

I don't know, I get tangled up

around my head or something.

I just... I couldn't

see anything.

Even in your dreams your

sexual wish is frustrated.

Yeah, that... that's

exactly what I thought.

I was feeling frustrated

and entangled,

then I was home, and I was

laying on the couch, and

all of a sudden there was a loud

knock, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

It was scary.

I jumped out. My heart

was beating like a rabbit.

I ran over to the door

and I answered it.

Then there was this

woman standing there,

but you couldn't see anything

'cause it was nighttime, and there

was, you know, not a lot of light.

I couldn't tell who it was.

I think it was Annabelle,

but I also think it

might have been you.

Yes.

Go on.

And I-

and I felt this powerful desire,

and the end.

It was really weird.

It's so painful to feel that I

have to win your approval.

Of course it's sexual.

She's caster eating him, and there's

such just such agony to sit by and watch

which is all you analysts

know how to do anyway.

Oh, how good

it would feel just

to fire you.

You know that?

Such a suck at chat.

It's just so hard 'cause I'm doing

everything that I know how to do.

I just know I'm right this time.

It can't be what you say.

It can't!

It just can't.

I know it.

And I've tried several times to reach

you, Judith, so please call me back.

I'm in Los Angeles, and

you know the number.

I... I look forward

to hearing from you.

- I want to talk to you.

- Okay.

About the therapy.

- Okay.

- I'm having second thoughts.

Second thoughts, huh?

Okay.

Um...

- Thank you.

- Thank you, baby.

What is that?

- I don't know.

- What's the problem?

No return address.

Hmm.

Is there a note?

Uh...

No signature.

Okay, but what does it say?

It says "What you desire."

Is this a joke?

- Well, I didn't send it.

- Of course you didn't, but who the hell did?

Don't ask me. I don't...

I'll call the company.

Is there something

you wanna tell me?

No, absolutely not.

Okay, fine, whatever,

but I'm telling you this.

I want us out of the therapy.

What? You don't think...

I don't know what to think,

but I want that woman out of our lives.

You're breaking your

commitment to therapy.

It hasn't worked for me.

Well, you refuse to open up,

but your need is bottomless.

You're in flight.

My needs are not bottomless.

You're running away, Susan.

No, I'm not.

You are, but at the same

time you want my love.

This is foul.

You want my love, and you're willing to

undermine Bob in order to win in my eyes.

I don't even know what

you're talking about.

I have to get on a plane to San

Francisco tomorrow so I'm gonna go now.

Oh, to San Francisco?

I am leaving and I

am not coming back.

That is why I came here.

Aren't you concerned about Bob and Louise

being alone together while you run off

to San Francisco because you are

a morass of hungers and impulses,

and you just jump into therapy,

and just as quickly you just jump right out

because you got to go.

You got to go off

to San Francisco.

Oh, not even a care about the

chaos that you leave in your wake.

You think that you

don't need me?

I think you're the

one who needs help.

You need me.

Oh, Susan, you need me.

You need me, Susan!

You need me!

Fuck!

Oh, I hope I lose my mind.

I hope I go crazy

and hallucinate.

- Let me try.

- Wow.

Hold it in, don't breathe.

Your mom smokes pot?

She's scared I'll find out.

Well, you know what? My

mother is scared of doors.

My mother is scared

of buttons. Why?

My mother... my mother is

scared of the word mucus.

My mother is scared

of the word horny.

Oh, that's so gross.

Oh, I'm starving.

Let's order pizza.

It's been a long time, Judith.

Two years, seven

months, nine days.

I assume there's a reason

you hunted me down.

Well, I wanted to talk to you.

Oh.

Talk.

I hate talk.

Look,

no one even knew that

you resumed your practice.

Why should they?

And why shouldn't I?

Judith, please don't play

childish word games.

You don't like word

games, Dr. Kingsley?

- Judith.

- They stole... no, you stole my livelihood.

I was framed.

I understand how you felt, but

I did everything that I could.

- No.

- Perhaps I could have done more but nonetheless I...

No, no. I... I did.

I did everything

for Benjamin Price.

I did everything.

I did more than any therapist on

earth would have done for him.

No other ethical therapist in the

opinion of the licensing board.

Look, Judith, it's not too late.

You still have a chance to redeem yourself,

to appeal, and I will support you in that.

Oh, God, spare me

the lecture, Dr. Kingsley.

Look, you don't even

have a license to practice.

It's California.

Nobody here cares

about licenses.

Judith, you're making

a mockery of me.

Bingo!

Look, you were always a challenge, but I

had hoped that you'd make more progress,

that you'd dismantled some of

those self-destructive impulses.

I think you need

to return to therapy.

You think I need more treatment?

Well, we weren't

finished when you left.

So you came here to rescue me?

Is that what you did?

Oh, it's so kind.

Oh, Dr. Kingsley,

that is so, so dedicated.

If you return to New York we

can complete your therapy there.

Well, then why wait? Let's

do it right here, right now.

Let's go, Dr. Kingsley.

What did you expect when you violate all

the tenets of neutrality when you follow me

like an animal, when you hunt me

down, when you violate my privacy?

I am such an interesting subject

to you, am I not, Dr. Kingsley?

Flattering yourselves? I

need you? I don't need you.

I don't.

Ask yourself this,

why are you here?

Why are you crossing boundaries

yet again, Dr. Kingsley?

Everything I learned,

I learned from you except

that when I needed you,

you abandoned me!

Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!

Judy!

Hello.

I thought you'd never answer.

I'm sorry. I was stumped

on at a crossword clue.

I have to go in like two minutes.

I have dinner with Ronald.

Oh, yeah? Well, uh,

I mean, how'd... how'd it go?

How'd the whole thing go?

The furniture was beautiful,

but I'd have to commute.

Just, um, anyway,

can I say hi to Louise?

Um, no, I told Louise she

could spend the night at Zoe's.

Um,

what are you gonna do tonight?

Nothing.

I'm doing the crossword,

gonna eat some pizza,

probably look at pictures of

cars I can't buy on the internet.

I love you.

I love you.

Well, some stupid clue.

Hi.

Hello.

Is Susan here?

No, no, actually. No, she's

not. She's in San Francisco.

San Francisco?

Yeah.

Back tomorrow.

I'm sorry. Would

you like to come in?

You know, sometimes I just wanna

light a light bulb, just like that,

I guess, snap and fly a

bike with E.T., you know,

- like a, b, c, d...

- What?

- What did you say?

- E. T., j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, TV.

You wanna watch E.T.?

No.

I wanna fly a bike

with E.T., you know?

You wanna know something sad?

Um?

See, if I were to find

an alien, I'd kill him.

Don't even look at me.

- That's...

- I'm looking.

Shit!

Hey, Mom.

How's Louise?

Louise? She's staying over

at her friend's house tonight.

Oh! Slumber party.

That's right, yeah.

Please, sit down.

You know, as much as I was

hoping to see all three of you,

I'm actually quite

happy that it's just you.

- Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

How's that?

Why do you look so scared, Bob?

I'm not scared. I... it's just,

you know, it's unusual when your

therapist drops by your house.

Yes, it is very unorthodox,

I will grant you that.

Do you want me to leave?

No, I'm not...

I don't want to be rude. I... no.

Come sit.

I have to tell you something.

I've received some just

very devastating news.

I have to leave LA.

I have to leave and I don't

expect to come back.

I don't have a lot of time.

And I feel like we have some

unfinished business, you and I.

Do you?

This is... I...

What if you just sit back,

relax,

and allow yourself

to use this very last chance

to free yourself?

Have you two been

smoking marijuana?

Uh-uh.

It looks like you two have

been smoking marijuana.

Yeah.

All right. We are taking

Louise home right now.

Now, just allow yourself

to relax

and drop in to this

present moment.

A moment

where you can remember

who you are.

Do you remember who you are?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Have I told you you're a man?

- Hmm.

- You're a man, right?

Mm-hmm.

A man has needs.

Lots and lots of needs.

When no one hears those needs,

when those needs aren't met,

a man can forget himself.

Did you forget yourself, Bob?

What if I told you

that you could have

anything you

wanted?

Bye.

Don't tell your mom that I yelled at you.

I want to remain in her social circle.

I don't wanna be shunned.

Go.

- I love you.

- I love you more.

Hey, we'll say goodbye 'cause you're

allowed to see your friend again.

That's how it works.

There's nothing

wrong with that.

You lied to us, such

a party pooper.

Not if you're laughing

when you forgot...

Oh, my God.

Mommy's gonna kill you!

- Louise.

- Go away!

- Please come inside.

- Go away!

- It's cold out here.

- Leave me alone!

Go!

Uh,

whoa.

I feel so good to be home.

Yeah, we're very happy

to have you home.

That guy was such a jerk.

Oh, my God. It was embarrassing.

Sweetie, are you alright?

Do you want to come out

from underneath that hoodie

and tell me what happened?

'Cause I can tell that something happened.

Uh, is somebody dead?

Jesus Christ!

What the hell happened?

I came home last night and Bob

was on the couch with Judy Small,

and it was really, really gross.

Judy Small? The therapist

was in our house?

Naked, and they were on the couch

doing stuff, and he was wearing a mask.

First of all, let me just say that...

that I'm sorry, and no one was naked.

I let... I let something

terrible happen but...

How can there be a but?

I mean, and in front of Louise?

Louise, sweetheart,

please go to your room.

Susan, as God is my witness, the woman...

the woman came here to seduce me.

I think I'm gonna vomit.

I'm not pleading innocence.

Oh!

My therapist, our fucking

marriage counselor,

on the first night in our

marriage that I go away?

I didn't... I didn't

invite her here.

The whole thing is

just fucking insane.

You were naked wearing a mask.

I'm trying... I'm trying to tell you

that under the circumstances the mistake-

the very egregious and indefensible mistake

was it was very difficult to resist...

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Susan, you don't...

I swear to God I'll do it

when you're sleeping.

I'm gonna stab you in the

heart with a meat thermometer.

I'm gonna cut off your

balls with a corkscrew.

Susie, you don't have

to be reacting this way.

- Just...

- Just get out of here. I want you out now.

- Please.

- Get out?

Please, just go.

I don't wanna see your face!

Go! Get out!

Let's get a one room,

please, just me.

Stay overnight.

Judy.

Have a good day.

Bob, what a splendid surprise.

Oh, sorry, I tried to call your cell, and

then your home number wasn't listed though.

- Well...

- I didn't know how else to find you.

I've been very busy packing,

making arrangements.

Hmm.

Have a seat.

It's okay.

Uh...

I came here today to ask you to talk to Susan

for me and maybe just explain things to her.

Darling,

you're so scared,

cornered, misunderstood.

No, I love my wife,

and I don't want to lose her.

Of course you don't.

So please, please just talk to her and just

tell her that this whole thing was insane.

Insane?

Yes.

I would do almost anything for you

so, yeah, okay, I could talk to Susan.

I could tell her... um,

I could tell her that it wasn't

you who undressed me, but it was I

who undressed you, and you

didn't take me,

but I who hoped in the course

of one reckless erotic journey...

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Oh, just enough with the flagellation over

a lousy blowjob, please, it's insulting.

Seriously, you

need to relax, Bob.

Let's do this.

Let's do a calming exercise.

I'm nervous, and

now I'm exhausted.

Just a nice breathing exercise.

Can you do that for me?

Please, please, Judy,

will you just talk to Susan?

I will talk to Susan if you promise me

that you're gonna do this for me, okay?

You're gonna be a good boy.

Yeah, I will do

anything you want.

Okay. You're gonna count

from 10 down to one.

Okay? 10...

Ten.

Nine.

You are not listening to me.

There's no more money.

It's all gone. Everything.

Nicky invested every single penny

of our money with that lying bitch,

and she just cut and ran.

What are you doing here?

I live here, remember?

Oh, God, don't remind me.

I just spent $200, money we don't

have, unblocking my energy.

One word from him,

money down the drain.

I guess Roxy told

you the bad news.

Yeah.

Don't talk.

Okay? Just don't make a sound.

How's Bob?

I don't know.

I don't care.

I heard there's some weird shit going down

at his place, some kind of slash-and-burn.

Why are you here? Why aren't you out

looking for a job? What about our babies?

Yeah, actually, I was thinking

about getting a tattoo.

You cannot afford a tattoo.

You cannot afford to take a shit on

the ground that you're standing on.

I can shit anywhere I like.

I hate him.

I really fucking hate him.

I hate his guts.

Yeah, I hate them. I

hate them. I hate them all.

How many tranquilizers

do you need?

Oh, I'll take as many

as you can spare.

Oh, honey, I got plenty.

Oh, Nick is gonna find

a job, sweetie, he is.

Susan, he's a writer.

What the fuck can a writer do?

Good morning.

Ooh, ouch.

Ooh, that looked painful.

I'm so sorry.

Hey, don't be mad at me.

Hey, I never meant to hurt you.

It's weird he hasn't called.

I bet something bad happened.

Oh, no, Louise. Don't say that.

I mean, he's dumb,

but he's not that dumb.

Like, if he were okay he'd call.

Maybe you should call him.

Why? He's your husband.

It would be such a human

gesture, a forgiving thing,

considering the fact that even as

inadequate as he is, he loves you.

Bet you've got him

to an accident.

Hello?

It's Louise.

Is Bob there?

Well, do you know where he is?

Never?

Okay, bye.

He never showed up at work even though he

had a meeting with the writer from Alaska.

Something's definitely wrong.

So much is wrong,

I don't even know where...

Well, he... he... he could be in

jail, or bleeding to death somewhere.

- Louise.

- Or else he could have a heart attack.

- Don't say that.

- I'm sorry.

I can tell you're

already freaking out.

I'm not freaking out.

I'm just a little tired.

I think we're better

off facing the truth.

I'm having a very

painful realization.

What?

I still love Bob.

Oh, my God. I thought

that's why you married him.

It's crazy how easy it is to forget

how much someone means to you

even if they've been a complete

reptile, all their fuck-ups and flaws.

Oh, baby, if anything ever happened

to him I don't know if I...

Mom, not now.

Okay.

I bet you it has something

to do with Judy Small.

Judy Small.

Judy Small.

Judy.

Judy?

Filed a report.

If we haven't heard from him in 24

hours, we'll just have to come back.

Well, that's dumb.

What if tomorrow is too late?

I can't make you

a little cozier.

- Can you help me out here, babe?

- Judy.

Judy.

- Judy.

- What? What?

You can't do this.

Judy, you can't do this.

You can't keep me prisoner.

Get it straight.

I'm leaving tonight, and

you're coming with me.

Maybe he's glad that he left me.

He's not.

Oh, God, I really don't want...

When I saw them

naked on that couch...

He... he is.

All naked and crawled

up like two white dogs.

Louise!

Mom, you're gonna blow it!

I think I'm blowing it.

- What are you doing?

- No, you're not.

I'm sorry!

Susan and I came to you

because we needed your help.

Every child wants a

grownup who will pretend

so I'm gonna tell you

what we're going to do.

We're going to drive, and then we're going to

fly, and then we're gonna head towards water

because I see a white sail against

just the most ethereal blue sky.

Mom, we need to go now

to Judy Small's office.

Not planned.

Hands on the wheel

and eyes on the road.

Thank you.

I know the fires in need.

I know the truth.

I know the truth but

Dr. Kingsley says

human beings suffer from

reminiscences, Judith.

You... you suffer from nothing.

Somewhere there is

a human life for you.

Judy, I love my wife.

And yet

I pretend you love me,

and you must pretend the same.

I'm calling 911.

Come on, baby.

Coming.

We should break down the door.

Yes. We need something.

We need like, um, like a hammer or-

- Wait, go ask that guy.

- Okay.

Ask him for help.

Mom, money.

You don't need money.

- Okay.

- Bob!

Susan!

Judy!

- Help!

- Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!

- You need help?

- Yes, he... my husband is in there.

- You sure he's in there?

- Yes, I'm positive. He's in there.

- Please, just break the lock.

- Okay. Okay.

I hear Bob.

Shhh!

- Okay, I got it.

- Okay. You stay.

- Bob!

- Susan!

Where's Bob?

Mom! That's Judy. That's Judy.

Hey, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?

Just relax, lady, okay?

- Ahh.

- Gah, aw. God.

Hey, hey, what's going on here?

Help. Just let me go. Help.

- Let her go, now.

- No, no, but no...

What are you doing?

Don't let her go! Get her!

- She just bit me, man. She's crazy.

- Go!

Oh, my God.

I was so scared.

- I'm sorry.

- Susan, Susan, Susan, my Susan.

Bob.

No, stay back.

I'm gonna jump.

2546, we need a

jumper squad right away.

- Hey, look.

- Mom.

Judy!

You okay? Yeah.

Whoa, what are you doing?

You shouldn't be up here.

- Stand down.

- It's okay.

I know her. I know her.

It's okay. It's okay.

She's my therapist.

Judy.

Judy.

Hey.

Hey, Bob.

What are you doing?

Now, come on. Come here.

Come here. Come here.

This isn't you.

No, come on.

Come on, Judy.

You don't do this.

Judy Small doesn't do this.

No, you don't.

Yeah, I've got you.

Let me help you now. Come on.

Yeah?

Okay. Okay. Oh, oh, okay.

I've got you. I've got you.

Okay.

Okay.

Lover.

Jewel.

What are you doing home?

I have bad news.

What?

I got fired.

How can they fire you?

You have a contract.

I know. I know. They're gonna buy

me out for 30 cents on the dollar.

Well, what happened?

There was this thing with...

with Reed and Walter,

and I didn't tell you about it because

I wanted to wait until it was done

so I could come to you and say,

here it is, here's the new deal.

Here's the big money.

Here's the new salary.

And Beaver found out about it,

and told us to pack our bags.

Look, Susan, I know how bad this

looks, but I'm gonna find another job.

You don't have to worry.

You've been fired and we

have no income to speak of,

and almost no savings.

But

at least we have each other.

Shit.

Does that hurt?

Not too much.

- Good.

- Not anymore.

Being a tough guy?

If we hurry we still have time

before Louise gets home.

Yeah.

Hello?

Oh!

- That's weird.

- Yeah.

You know what that means?

Oh, God.

So gross.

They barely even

talk to each other.

Eww.

Aren't married people

supposed to do it at night?

- I'm starving.

- Me too.