Bad Karma (1991) - full transcript
A group of people are having a barbecue party when two Krishnas appear at their doorstep, both of which transform into hideous monsters and start killing everybody in gory ways. The ...
Will somebody get the door?
Another burger anyone?
This is rather good.
Dave, I think
this food will be ???.
Yeah, that's before
I knew you were cooking.
Dave, the door! Can't you hear
the door. Come and answer it.
Yes, OK, in a minute.
Everything's in a minute with that boy.
Takes after his father.
I'm coming.
Can't bloody open the door now.
??
Hi.
What do you want, gentlemen?
I'm very busy at the moment.
We won't take much of your time, Miss.
Have you considered
donating money to the Third World?
If it's a good cause. I did give
money to Comic Relief last year.
Darling, I'm going upstairs to have
a shower. I'm feeling a bit adherent.
Don't be too long, darling.
- No, I won't.
Don't smoke all the pot.
What about reincarnation?
- What about it?
Do you believe in it?
- I believe there's something after death.
Possibly heaven.
- Krishna says death is a transitory state.
If you live your life to Krishna's concepts
death is like a doorway to a better form of existence.
I haven't got time at the moment.
- Don't be afraid of death.
We're told in this life...
I'm just going up to take a shower,
is that OK?
That's OK, there's plenty of hot water.
Do you know where everything is?
I should do by now.
Cheers, Sarah, thanks.
I'm sorry, gentlemen, you've got to go.
It's my son's birthday.
I'm terribly busy. Another time perhaps.
Perhaps you could read this book
and consider some of our beliefs.
Or maybe you would
like to make a donation.
Bloody hell!
What's going on?
And blood!
Right, who wants what? Lager?
Lagers all round then, yes?
Bloody hell,
what kid of party is that boy holding?
Dave, Sarah,
what's all that screaming about?
What the hell?
Hey, Dave,
make mine a Killer Zombie.
You'll get what you're given, clever dick.
Dad?
I don't know about you, but I'm parched.
Where's Dave?
Where's Dave?
- Where's our lager?
He went ages ago.
He's up there somewhere?
He probably passed out. That glass of Heineken
must have gone straight to his head.
Or he's gone to wash Hannah's back.
The sight of a naked ankle
is enough to terrify Dave.
What?
When I said Killer Zombie
I meant the drink not the costume.
Dave, honey, is that you?
Chew on this, you fucking pervert!
Hannah, lovely, I'm here.
Hannah, honey,
I'm so glad you're OK.
I've just killed someone upstairs
with the shower curtain.
It doesn't matter.
- Doesn't matter? I've just killed someone.
It's OK, it's all over now.
Come on.
I must tell everybody else.
What's going on?
You can't tell anybody else.
No, not out there!
Everybody's...
Dead!
It's horrible.
Are they really all dead?
There's nothing we can do about it now.
Come one.
We must do something.
- There's nothing we can do about it now.
We've got to do something,
not just stand here.
The police, call the police.
Shit!
What is it, Dave?
Phone lock.
Where's the key?
It was in my dad's pocket.
Dave, I'm so sorry.
Shouldn't we go to Anthony's house
and use his phone?
Let me think for a minute.
I have converted 8 of their souls.
Good, where's Zoinst.
- In the house, finishing off.
No witnesses. go back there.
Phone me when you know.
- OK.
You've had a terrible shock,
but you must pull yourself together.
You can't stay here.
We've got to inform the authorities.
There's something you don't know about
Anthony. - What else is there to know?
He's your best pal,
you grew up together.
Before we get to his house
I have to tell you something.
Anthony runs a brothel,
an S & M spanking house.
For city gents and ladies.
I promised never to tell
anybody else.
Trust me, don't worry.
We have to go to Anthony's house.
We need his phone.
Hello, Kalimar!
I've followed them to a house.
They're walking in the house now.
Hello, what's the purpose of your call?
Hello, this is Dave Jackson, a friend
of Anthony's. Can you let me in, please?
Hold on.
That man's still there.
- I know, forget it.
Anthony!
What the fuck is it?
Can't you see I'm busy?
Your friend Dave Jackson's at the door
and tried to pick me up.
Sorry mate, I've got to...
got to fuck off.
Sorry, mate.
Brothers you must go forth again.
Herman has located witnesses.
Master, I can't wear these
stupid fucking clothes again.
They make me itch like a bastard.
- You wear them today.
We have just two more days.
Two more days to complete the cycle.
To convert 10 more vulnerables
to resurrect.
Kalimar!
Our saviour!
Lord of the Shapeshifters.
Two more days and we
the last surviving disciples
will be at his side
as he is reborn
and rid this world
of all the filthy vulnerables.
Two more days
and nothing can stop us now!
What about those red-necks, Master?
The red-necks? Fuck those
inbred bastards. That was 50 years ago.
50 years! How is it possible
that they could follow us here?
Nothing can stop us!
Nothing can stop us, brothers!
We've got force.
Hail Kalimar!
For Christ's sake, what you're saying is
your parents are dead,
your friends are dead?
They've all been murdered today
and the geezer who did it
is following you and he's outside now?
Look, I'm sorry, Anthony,
but you don't understand.
Can't you see he needs help?
I thought you were his best friend.
It's alright, Dave,
calm down.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm really sorry.
Roger, anything out there?
Yeah, there's some Buddhist dude
with blood all over him.
That's him.
He's looking this way.
Come one, Pete, let's get the fucker!
- OK, boss.
You lost, mate?
He's awake.
Tell us about the scene
in Makeson Road, you shit.
This morning, yeah.
Makeson Road.
We slaughtered them all
and converted their souls.
Fucker, you're hard now.
Follow us, all of you,
they're coming to get you.
Fuck him.
No... Get the fuck off me, vulnerables.
You can't hurt me.
Don't count on it.
We're professionals of pain.
Pain! ???
Christ, not that.
This fucker deserves it.
Pull his fucking trousers down.
Fuck you, arsehole.
No, fuck your arsehole!
Alright, calm down.
Oh shit, Dave, I've got to go.
I've got to sign on.
I forgot to sign on. - What do
you mean, I need you here with me.
I've no money. If I don't sign on
I'll be skint for the rest of the week.
Sorry, Dave, got to go.
Love you, babe.
You have beautiful eyes...
Darling.
Brothers, we can wait no longer.
The others will be here soon,
but now is the time to spread the word
of the Shapeshifters.
Hail Kalimar!
Who's at the fucking door?
Shit! Anthony there's a load of them!
Shit! Boys! Girls!
Tool up, trouble's brewing!
Come on!
Come on in you Krishna cunt!
You're ?? you wanker!
No, Jesus, no!
What the fuck is that noise?
Shut up, babe and fuck.
What the fuck are you doing?
Can't you see I'm fucking this bitch.
Oh my god! Oh, my dick!
Gooly!
I've got one!
Come on you fuckers,
who's next then?
Please, just don't hurt me.
I won't tell anyone. Please.
I swear it, I won't tell anyone.
Kalimar demands no survivors!
Please, don't kill me.
I can be useful for you.
I can get you punters.
I'm a professional.
No!
There is one more.
I can smell him.
Go! Find him
and that will be the last!
Kalimar demands it!
Hello?
No! You can take anything you like!
The last vulnerable!
You can fuck my girlfriend.
- I've fucked her already!
I killed her first
and then I fucked her brains out!
No, no, it can't be true!
It is true.
Such a fine specimen.
So very, very vulnerable.
Fear not, child.
Fear not.
Fear? You should feel pride.
Feel pride, my child, for your death.
Praying so, though it will be,
it brings forth
a glorious path between us and ancients
and ??? and Kalimar!
Lord of Darkness, Lord of Transformation
will burst forth unto our world!
Good shot boy,
you've got one of the bastards.
It's them!
Shapeshifters...
Change!
What's happening?
It's the old smoke trick,
like the Indians used to use.
1823. Those fuckers
ain't changed much have they?
Can I kill one of them now?
Can I use this?
You sure can Mary-Lou,
you can kill them all.
Shut the fuck up, Junior.
Stop wailing that guitar!
I'm Eugene, Pa.
We gone and ate Junior last week.
Oh yes, and mighty tasty he was too.
Well, come on there, youngens,
there's appeasing to be done.
Shoot anything that moves.
Pa, I can't see anything.
Holy smoke, I'm scared, Pa.
Careful with that axe, Eugene.
What's that?
Shit, boy!
You shot me in the goddam leg.
I'm sorry, Pa.
I thought you were one of those baldycoots.
A mistake you're not
going to fucking make again, boy.
Never did like that boy, anyway.
He was too goddam fat.
And he smelt.
Hot Deputy Dawg,
Gopher's done lost his brains.
Don't pay him no mind.
Pa told me he was a changeling, anyhow.
But he was my brother
and the father of my children.
Mary-Lou, I would consider it an honour
if you would allow me, Eugene, your cousin,
to become your husband.
Oh, this is
the happiest moment of my life.
Pa, they've killed Eugene.
Die! Die! Die!
This one's for Eugene.
Mary-Lou, you got yourself hit?
You goddam stupid bitch!
I ain't getting my blow job now.
Fucking chair!
The ??? bastards, they can't stand up!
Pa! Pa! I think I've seen one. An evil
looking bastard with a shit eating grin.
Come to Bubba. I'll blow
your goddam fucking brains out.
Goddam Yankee bastard.
Well done boy, that's another one
of the mother-fuckers we've popped.
Blew him away, didn't I, Pa?
You sure did. That's
one hell of a messy face he's got.
Still, we can't stand here wanging all day.
We've got some more of the fuckers to kill.
Shut your snivelling, boy.
You don't want to give
our goddam position away. - Sorry, Pa.
Just don't fucking do it again.
??
Come on boys,
come to poppa.
He gonna blow your goddam brains out.
2000 years of killing, boy,
and that's the best you can come up with?
It's easier than a possum hunt.
- Sure is, boy, let's kill the bastards.
Sharp shooting, boy.
I'm gonna go that way, and you go that way
and kill the fuckers.
??? all that sound.
Just another little mistake.
I'll give you another big break.
I got him, Pa, I got him.
We did good, didn't we, Pa.
We got them all.
Got some goddam fucking flesh wound.
Don't know what I as so worried about.
Well boy,
you got something to say to your old pa?
Yeah, Pa, we'll be heroes,
we'll be rich.
Why? Why?
What the fuck do you mean, we?
I can't have some smelly little bastard
son of a bitch fucking up their own name.
I'm sorry son, you sniff too much.
You're goin' to have to die.
Never did like that boy.
He sniffed too much.
And he smells.
There's one of them.
What you doing hiding, boy?
I thought you were one of them
bloody, fucking mouldy gooks,
Where is everybody?
- I killed them all.
Every goddam fucking one of the bastards.
Shit they were.
Joy.
I'm alive, I'm alive.
Dave Jackson's the name.
I'm in P.R., Nice to meet you.
Josiah T. Rosebucket,
slayer of things from the pits of Hell.
And goddam happy in my work.
But why? Why me? Who are they?
They are the Shapeshifters, boy.
They are the most goddam sons of bitches
on this or any other planet.
Messy little bastards.
Get your jeans dirty when you kill 'em.
But who are you?
- Me? I hunt them down.
Well, boy, can't stay in
this stinking place any longer.
Let's get going. I've got to
culture that magic mushroom moonshine.
Sounds good to me.
Why is life so complicated?
- You don't shoot enough people.
You got to shoot your gun proper.
Get them right between the eyes.
You shoot their goddam fucking brains out.
They don't follow you no more.
It's the way it's got to be done.
Another burger anyone?
This is rather good.
Dave, I think
this food will be ???.
Yeah, that's before
I knew you were cooking.
Dave, the door! Can't you hear
the door. Come and answer it.
Yes, OK, in a minute.
Everything's in a minute with that boy.
Takes after his father.
I'm coming.
Can't bloody open the door now.
??
Hi.
What do you want, gentlemen?
I'm very busy at the moment.
We won't take much of your time, Miss.
Have you considered
donating money to the Third World?
If it's a good cause. I did give
money to Comic Relief last year.
Darling, I'm going upstairs to have
a shower. I'm feeling a bit adherent.
Don't be too long, darling.
- No, I won't.
Don't smoke all the pot.
What about reincarnation?
- What about it?
Do you believe in it?
- I believe there's something after death.
Possibly heaven.
- Krishna says death is a transitory state.
If you live your life to Krishna's concepts
death is like a doorway to a better form of existence.
I haven't got time at the moment.
- Don't be afraid of death.
We're told in this life...
I'm just going up to take a shower,
is that OK?
That's OK, there's plenty of hot water.
Do you know where everything is?
I should do by now.
Cheers, Sarah, thanks.
I'm sorry, gentlemen, you've got to go.
It's my son's birthday.
I'm terribly busy. Another time perhaps.
Perhaps you could read this book
and consider some of our beliefs.
Or maybe you would
like to make a donation.
Bloody hell!
What's going on?
And blood!
Right, who wants what? Lager?
Lagers all round then, yes?
Bloody hell,
what kid of party is that boy holding?
Dave, Sarah,
what's all that screaming about?
What the hell?
Hey, Dave,
make mine a Killer Zombie.
You'll get what you're given, clever dick.
Dad?
I don't know about you, but I'm parched.
Where's Dave?
Where's Dave?
- Where's our lager?
He went ages ago.
He's up there somewhere?
He probably passed out. That glass of Heineken
must have gone straight to his head.
Or he's gone to wash Hannah's back.
The sight of a naked ankle
is enough to terrify Dave.
What?
When I said Killer Zombie
I meant the drink not the costume.
Dave, honey, is that you?
Chew on this, you fucking pervert!
Hannah, lovely, I'm here.
Hannah, honey,
I'm so glad you're OK.
I've just killed someone upstairs
with the shower curtain.
It doesn't matter.
- Doesn't matter? I've just killed someone.
It's OK, it's all over now.
Come on.
I must tell everybody else.
What's going on?
You can't tell anybody else.
No, not out there!
Everybody's...
Dead!
It's horrible.
Are they really all dead?
There's nothing we can do about it now.
Come one.
We must do something.
- There's nothing we can do about it now.
We've got to do something,
not just stand here.
The police, call the police.
Shit!
What is it, Dave?
Phone lock.
Where's the key?
It was in my dad's pocket.
Dave, I'm so sorry.
Shouldn't we go to Anthony's house
and use his phone?
Let me think for a minute.
I have converted 8 of their souls.
Good, where's Zoinst.
- In the house, finishing off.
No witnesses. go back there.
Phone me when you know.
- OK.
You've had a terrible shock,
but you must pull yourself together.
You can't stay here.
We've got to inform the authorities.
There's something you don't know about
Anthony. - What else is there to know?
He's your best pal,
you grew up together.
Before we get to his house
I have to tell you something.
Anthony runs a brothel,
an S & M spanking house.
For city gents and ladies.
I promised never to tell
anybody else.
Trust me, don't worry.
We have to go to Anthony's house.
We need his phone.
Hello, Kalimar!
I've followed them to a house.
They're walking in the house now.
Hello, what's the purpose of your call?
Hello, this is Dave Jackson, a friend
of Anthony's. Can you let me in, please?
Hold on.
That man's still there.
- I know, forget it.
Anthony!
What the fuck is it?
Can't you see I'm busy?
Your friend Dave Jackson's at the door
and tried to pick me up.
Sorry mate, I've got to...
got to fuck off.
Sorry, mate.
Brothers you must go forth again.
Herman has located witnesses.
Master, I can't wear these
stupid fucking clothes again.
They make me itch like a bastard.
- You wear them today.
We have just two more days.
Two more days to complete the cycle.
To convert 10 more vulnerables
to resurrect.
Kalimar!
Our saviour!
Lord of the Shapeshifters.
Two more days and we
the last surviving disciples
will be at his side
as he is reborn
and rid this world
of all the filthy vulnerables.
Two more days
and nothing can stop us now!
What about those red-necks, Master?
The red-necks? Fuck those
inbred bastards. That was 50 years ago.
50 years! How is it possible
that they could follow us here?
Nothing can stop us!
Nothing can stop us, brothers!
We've got force.
Hail Kalimar!
For Christ's sake, what you're saying is
your parents are dead,
your friends are dead?
They've all been murdered today
and the geezer who did it
is following you and he's outside now?
Look, I'm sorry, Anthony,
but you don't understand.
Can't you see he needs help?
I thought you were his best friend.
It's alright, Dave,
calm down.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm really sorry.
Roger, anything out there?
Yeah, there's some Buddhist dude
with blood all over him.
That's him.
He's looking this way.
Come one, Pete, let's get the fucker!
- OK, boss.
You lost, mate?
He's awake.
Tell us about the scene
in Makeson Road, you shit.
This morning, yeah.
Makeson Road.
We slaughtered them all
and converted their souls.
Fucker, you're hard now.
Follow us, all of you,
they're coming to get you.
Fuck him.
No... Get the fuck off me, vulnerables.
You can't hurt me.
Don't count on it.
We're professionals of pain.
Pain! ???
Christ, not that.
This fucker deserves it.
Pull his fucking trousers down.
Fuck you, arsehole.
No, fuck your arsehole!
Alright, calm down.
Oh shit, Dave, I've got to go.
I've got to sign on.
I forgot to sign on. - What do
you mean, I need you here with me.
I've no money. If I don't sign on
I'll be skint for the rest of the week.
Sorry, Dave, got to go.
Love you, babe.
You have beautiful eyes...
Darling.
Brothers, we can wait no longer.
The others will be here soon,
but now is the time to spread the word
of the Shapeshifters.
Hail Kalimar!
Who's at the fucking door?
Shit! Anthony there's a load of them!
Shit! Boys! Girls!
Tool up, trouble's brewing!
Come on!
Come on in you Krishna cunt!
You're ?? you wanker!
No, Jesus, no!
What the fuck is that noise?
Shut up, babe and fuck.
What the fuck are you doing?
Can't you see I'm fucking this bitch.
Oh my god! Oh, my dick!
Gooly!
I've got one!
Come on you fuckers,
who's next then?
Please, just don't hurt me.
I won't tell anyone. Please.
I swear it, I won't tell anyone.
Kalimar demands no survivors!
Please, don't kill me.
I can be useful for you.
I can get you punters.
I'm a professional.
No!
There is one more.
I can smell him.
Go! Find him
and that will be the last!
Kalimar demands it!
Hello?
No! You can take anything you like!
The last vulnerable!
You can fuck my girlfriend.
- I've fucked her already!
I killed her first
and then I fucked her brains out!
No, no, it can't be true!
It is true.
Such a fine specimen.
So very, very vulnerable.
Fear not, child.
Fear not.
Fear? You should feel pride.
Feel pride, my child, for your death.
Praying so, though it will be,
it brings forth
a glorious path between us and ancients
and ??? and Kalimar!
Lord of Darkness, Lord of Transformation
will burst forth unto our world!
Good shot boy,
you've got one of the bastards.
It's them!
Shapeshifters...
Change!
What's happening?
It's the old smoke trick,
like the Indians used to use.
1823. Those fuckers
ain't changed much have they?
Can I kill one of them now?
Can I use this?
You sure can Mary-Lou,
you can kill them all.
Shut the fuck up, Junior.
Stop wailing that guitar!
I'm Eugene, Pa.
We gone and ate Junior last week.
Oh yes, and mighty tasty he was too.
Well, come on there, youngens,
there's appeasing to be done.
Shoot anything that moves.
Pa, I can't see anything.
Holy smoke, I'm scared, Pa.
Careful with that axe, Eugene.
What's that?
Shit, boy!
You shot me in the goddam leg.
I'm sorry, Pa.
I thought you were one of those baldycoots.
A mistake you're not
going to fucking make again, boy.
Never did like that boy, anyway.
He was too goddam fat.
And he smelt.
Hot Deputy Dawg,
Gopher's done lost his brains.
Don't pay him no mind.
Pa told me he was a changeling, anyhow.
But he was my brother
and the father of my children.
Mary-Lou, I would consider it an honour
if you would allow me, Eugene, your cousin,
to become your husband.
Oh, this is
the happiest moment of my life.
Pa, they've killed Eugene.
Die! Die! Die!
This one's for Eugene.
Mary-Lou, you got yourself hit?
You goddam stupid bitch!
I ain't getting my blow job now.
Fucking chair!
The ??? bastards, they can't stand up!
Pa! Pa! I think I've seen one. An evil
looking bastard with a shit eating grin.
Come to Bubba. I'll blow
your goddam fucking brains out.
Goddam Yankee bastard.
Well done boy, that's another one
of the mother-fuckers we've popped.
Blew him away, didn't I, Pa?
You sure did. That's
one hell of a messy face he's got.
Still, we can't stand here wanging all day.
We've got some more of the fuckers to kill.
Shut your snivelling, boy.
You don't want to give
our goddam position away. - Sorry, Pa.
Just don't fucking do it again.
??
Come on boys,
come to poppa.
He gonna blow your goddam brains out.
2000 years of killing, boy,
and that's the best you can come up with?
It's easier than a possum hunt.
- Sure is, boy, let's kill the bastards.
Sharp shooting, boy.
I'm gonna go that way, and you go that way
and kill the fuckers.
??? all that sound.
Just another little mistake.
I'll give you another big break.
I got him, Pa, I got him.
We did good, didn't we, Pa.
We got them all.
Got some goddam fucking flesh wound.
Don't know what I as so worried about.
Well boy,
you got something to say to your old pa?
Yeah, Pa, we'll be heroes,
we'll be rich.
Why? Why?
What the fuck do you mean, we?
I can't have some smelly little bastard
son of a bitch fucking up their own name.
I'm sorry son, you sniff too much.
You're goin' to have to die.
Never did like that boy.
He sniffed too much.
And he smells.
There's one of them.
What you doing hiding, boy?
I thought you were one of them
bloody, fucking mouldy gooks,
Where is everybody?
- I killed them all.
Every goddam fucking one of the bastards.
Shit they were.
Joy.
I'm alive, I'm alive.
Dave Jackson's the name.
I'm in P.R., Nice to meet you.
Josiah T. Rosebucket,
slayer of things from the pits of Hell.
And goddam happy in my work.
But why? Why me? Who are they?
They are the Shapeshifters, boy.
They are the most goddam sons of bitches
on this or any other planet.
Messy little bastards.
Get your jeans dirty when you kill 'em.
But who are you?
- Me? I hunt them down.
Well, boy, can't stay in
this stinking place any longer.
Let's get going. I've got to
culture that magic mushroom moonshine.
Sounds good to me.
Why is life so complicated?
- You don't shoot enough people.
You got to shoot your gun proper.
Get them right between the eyes.
You shoot their goddam fucking brains out.
They don't follow you no more.
It's the way it's got to be done.