Bad Boys (1995) - full transcript

Hey, man, what's this "having

a picnic" shit in my car?

Please, man, I'm not

gettin' my sex at home.

Don't deny me this.

What are you talking about?

You sleep with a beautiful

woman every night.

I'm married.

That's what "married" means.

You sleep together



but you can't get none.

Why don't you watch it

with all that shit, all right?

Hey, look, where's

your cup-holders?

I don't have one.

What do you mean?

$80,000 for this car and you

ain't got no damn cup-holder?

It's $105,000, this happens

to be one of the fastest

production cars on the planet.

0 to 60 in

four seconds, sweetie.



This is a limited edition.

You damn right it's limited!

No cup-holder, no back seat.

It's a shiny dick

with two chairs in it.

I guess we the balls,

just dragging the fuck along.

Oh, damn!

Sorry.

Get it.

I can't get down there.

Engineering flaw up in here.

My shit ain't going down

up in there.

Go! Titty-titty,

strutty-strutty.

MAN 1: Go on.

Make them want it.

MIKE: I ain't your wife to be

cleaning up after your

filthy ass.

You watch my hand, okay?

And when it does, it

gets stuck.

Now, what do you come

up with? You got this shit.

You gonna get that fry.

This ain't no goddamn

Denny's. No eating in my...

MARCUS: I wouldn't be buying

Denny's anyway, not like

the way we been treated.

They bit, Jack. Let's

gank these fools!

MARCUS: Damn fry.

You all up in that.

Get out of

the car, man.

Shit.

What the fuck?

MAN 2: We've had

a big week.

So just get the fuck

out of the car.

Damn! What are you

weighing, 350?

I bet you're a big

Popeye Chicken-eating

motherfucker, ain't you?

Hey, hey.

Why I always got to get the

big, thick motherfuckers?

MAN 2: Out of the car now!

All right! All right!

All right!

Hold on!

Now this is some funny shit.

Let me tell you how bad

a day you're having.

Right now, you're jacking

a couple cops.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm

a stand-up comedian,

and I suck!

That's why I need your car.

Now, I ain't no Wesley Snipes.

I just hang out with

stupid-ass friends that drive

stupid-ass cars

that attract a lot of

motherfucking attention!

I need to jump over this car

and smack your head.

That's what I need to do.

You know what?

You're arguing over

a motherfucking French fry.

It's not about a fry.

It's about a lack of respect

for other people's property!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Shut the fuck up!

That shit is stupid!

Hold the fuck on!

MAN 1: Shut up! Shut up!

If you want some bad

enough, come get some!

[GRUNTING]

You like that shit?

Wesley Snipes,

Passenger 57.

Now give me a

motherfucking Handi Wipe.

Now let's hear one

of those jokes, bitch.

What do you think, guys?

Looks like the real thing.

You remember your assignment?

Yeah, I'm the decoy.

Yes, you are.

[SCREAMS]

CASPER: What the fuck

are you doing?

Hello, police?

I just saw something terrible,

a policeman shot

on South Miami and

First Street. Help, please!

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]:

Officer down. Officer down.

Respond code 3.

All units in the vicinity,

respond and identify.

MAN 1: This is Air Unit 2.

We've got a full perimeter.

MAN 2: Officer down.

We need additional

ground units.

WOMAN: Air 3, roger.

Suspect or suspects unknown.

FOUCHET:

Gentlemen, it's clear.

MAN 1 [OVER RADIO]:

We're inside.

We're in.

You got 20 minutes.

(FARTING)

Oh... Goddamn taco's

gonna kill me.

MAN 2: Okay, guys, we got

12 minutes. Come on, let's go.

[BEEPING]

MAN 1:

Clear. We're in.

MAN 3: Move your ass.

We got six minutes.

MAN 4:

Ready.

MAN 3:

Ready to fire. Go!

Fire!

Go!

MAN 5:

Move!

[MEN LAUGHING]

[FOGHORN BLOWS]

[RAP MUSIC PLAYS

OVER SPEAKER]

Oh.

Ooh.

Damn!

Did you have sweet dreams?

You're so nasty.

Mm-hm.

You always saying

you want quality time.

Well, right now I got

the time and you damn

sure got the quality.

Come on now.

Uh-uh.

You know what it is?

I can't remember

the last time that we

fell asleep together.

Baby...

Baby, it's my job.

It's what it requires.

You know I'm a better cop

when I get some in

the morning.

I feel lighter on my feet.

You're going to have

to keep it in your pants,

because I hear three

little Burnetts coming.

That's cold.

You gonna leave me here

like a humping dog.

[KIDS YELLING]

THERESA: Hi, baby boy!

Daddy! Daddy!

MARCUS: What's up?

Dad, at school, people say

I look weird.

They say my ears look funny.

Boy, your daddy has that

same problem. I got the ears.

But you know what?

They just out there for you to

listen to people's problems.

You're an angel.

These are your wings.

Flap, flap. That's all.

THERESA: James, stop!

Would you take them off?

And don't let me have to

come down to that school.

I'll arrest the principal.

Mom, mom.

THERESA: What?

Talking about my boy's ears.

Uncle Mike's in the house!

What's up, Uncle Mike?

MIKE: Partner, partner!

What's going on?

Quincy, check that out.

QUINCY: What'd you take

my food for?

Don't kiss me, Mike!

I don't know where your lips

were last night. Move.

Uncle Mike, did you

have a date last night?

Ooh, did I!

Let me tell you, boy,

now this girl was...

Hey, don't you go telling

my son none of your sleazy

sex stories.

I only tell your husband

my sleazy sex stories.

Hey.

I don't want him knowing about

them either. It gives

him ideas.

[PHONE RINGS]

Why you put me in this?

I'm with my babies.

Okay? Thank you.

Hello.

Eat. Go on, girl.

No problem.

Man, she was

a blu-bla-blam...

Oh.

You're on the mike with Mike.

Want Daddy to wipe your mouth?

I think you mean to say,

"Get our asses down there,

please," Captain.

[DIAL TONE]

Maybe not.

Hey, baby!

Hey, Francine,

where's Howard?

Down there. He's looking

for you. He's been in

better moods.

Aw, damn!

HOWARD: Get it done,

goddamn it!

Welcome to our

nightmare, boys.

See this?

What's wrong with

this picture, huh?

Remember this room?

These slats, they look

familiar, don't they?

There was these silver packets

they looked like bricks.

Little red tags on them,

about so high?

All that heroin, gone.

This was our career bust.

This was, what, $100 million?

Gone!

MARCUS: Oh, this is bad.

No, let me call it what it is,

this is fucked up!

You got that right,

detective.

Hello, Alison.

You guys know

Captain Sinclair, Internal

Affairs' top watchdog.

You know, I'd actually

take that as a compliment if

I didn't know you so well.

Excuse me, but if you two

want to get personal,

I could step out.

There's nothing personal

going on here.

I'm just doing my job.

I mean, I love knowing that

one leak, one headline

can turn this nightmare

into a media frenzy.

That's not gonna happen.

We're gonna get the dope back

before that ever happens.

Good. Why don't you start

by looking here,

because this had

to have been an inside job.

And I'm gonna find

out about it.

Sanchez, Ruiz,

you guys are late.

So they put this in for

toxic drug fumes?

Yeah, this was a brilliant

design. This was really

intelligent. I like this.

I didn't ask how he feels.

I said, what did he see?

What does he know?

Where were y'all

last night, man?

Why don't y'all just have

your cousins bring

the shit back and we can

all get some sleep.

We were gonna do that,

but you know what happened?

We came up with a problem.

Your mama snorted

up all the dope.

All right, you two,

get over there.

O'Fee's gonna be all right,

but he's got nothing

to tell us.

So they kill a decoy,

it empties the station.

Very smart.

But they don't kill

a real cop,

'cause they know they'd have

the whole force on their ass.

This was your case.

You're back on it.

Sanchez, Ruiz, you back them

up with whatever they need.

With whatever they need.

Shut your mouths.

All right,

but now wait a second.

It was Carrera's drugs

in the first place, right?

But it couldn't have

been him, because he was

killed in prison.

What about the rest

of his crew?

The rest of those idiots don't

have the precision to do this.

But just in case I'm wrong,

you guys check them out.

Yeah, they'd have been up

in here with Uzis, splashing

O'Fee all over the place.

It takes brains to

pull something like this.

Big cojones too.

What the hell are you

talking about, cojones?

It would take me

a month to explain to you

what cojones are.

You're in Miami,

don't know cojones?

English.

Ho! Ho! Hey!

We got nothing.

What's the matter with you?

We've got nothing.

The guy who pulled this off

knew what he was doing.

And he left us nothing

but a big "fuck you."

Ruiz, Sanchez,

find out who installed

the ventilating system, okay?

Do that now.

Oh, that's cold.

SANCHEZ: So's your mama's bed.

This could definitely be an

inside job. Don't rule it out.

The way I see it,

we got 72 hours

before the FBI and the DEA

walk in here and shut us down.

And we're gonna

be the bad guys.

The politics demand that

somebody take the rap for

this, and it's gonna be us.

Just do what you do.

Only faster.

Jojo. What's up?

You still a chemist, right?

Cutting drugs and

shit like that, huh?

I don't know nothing

about that, man.

I'm out of the drug business.

You know something.

I just said "no" to drugs.

You said "no" to drugs.

What you into, Jo?

Rubber, rubber, rubber.

Check it out.

You're selling tires, huh?

Yeah.

So you don't know nothing?

Jojo don't know nothing.

I know tires.

You telling me

the truth, right?

Would I lie to you?

Would you lie to me?

Hey! You driving.

MARCUS: Yo, man,

this is a waste of time.

Oh, come on, man.

I keep telling you,

in Maxie's line of work,

she definitely gets the 411.

Maxie! How'd I know

I was gonna find

you up in here?

Listen, Max, we got to talk.

Is there some place we can go?

Yeah, the equipment room.

Behave yourself.

MARCUS: Oh, I'm cool.

Ooh...

Listen, I need some help.

Again.

So, what else is new?

[GRUNTS]

Oh, sh...

Oh, sh...

Some major, major ill shit

happened down at the P.D.

There's a lot of heroin

involved, there's gonna

be a lot of cash involved.

There's definitely gonna be

some jolly young men running

around who want to party.

What do you need?

There's a lot of

people who will

talk to you that

won't talk to me.

You mean customers?

Listen, I'm not asking you to

get into any wild shit. Just

call me if you hear something.

I think I will

call you.

Mm.

What the hell are you doing?

Trying to keep my shit quick.

Oh, that's right, ain't

getting none at home.

You got a little extra energy.

Go ahead, burn it off.

Hey, we got anything,

Francine?

Sanchez says that

the air conditioning contract

went to

Manuel Arrona of Key Biscayne.

He's working out of his house

this week. That's the number.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

He's not answering.

I guess we

should just leave.

What, make a trip

all the way down here to

high society for nothing?

No, man. That's what

they got windows for.

We can peek in.

Oh, yeah, that

should be okay.

I tripped.

The handle just

opened for you?

Right after I tripped,

it just opened.

I guess they

want us to come in.

Take a peek.

Hello!

We're your new neighbors.

Don't be alarmed.

We're Negroes.

No, man! No. That's too

much bass in your voice.

That scare white folks.

You got to sound like them.

[IN NASAL VOICE]

We were wondering if we can

borrow some brown sugar.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]

You fart?

No, man.

BOTH: Dead guy.

MARCUS: Ugh.

Well, looks like

somebody's home.

[FLIES BUZZING]

Okay, let me take

a stab at this one.

He sells the ventilation

plans to the bad guys.

He gets rich,

but he gets dead.

You're right on that one.

I'm going to go call Homicide.

Whoa, whoa, wait.

Why do you act like this every

time we around a dead body?

It's cool. I just...

Please? Look around.

The smell and the...

It's just unexpected,

that's all.

[GROANING]

It looks like our buddy

Arrona was a bit of a gambler.

Got dog track, jai alai...

Probably needed the

money to pay off his debts.

Bookie.

Oops.

Damn, man!

Watch where you

swinging the dead leg.

My bad, my bad.

Damn this.

I'm calling Homicide.

I'm a narcotics cop.

Dead bodies...

Dead ends.

Maggots.

What's wrong

with you, man?

[STAMMERING]

Hey, what do you say we

grab a couple of burritos?

You know, you drive

almost slow enough

to drive Miss Daisy.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, man,

the transaction is done.

We ain't got shit,

so it's over.

Relax, man. We got it

before, we'll get it again.

Yeah, yeah. You got it all

figured out, don't you?

Oh, you got to

have faith, player.

Let me tell you something,

all right?

By the time we figured

out how, we'd be out of a job.

No, scratch that.

Everybody in the damn

unit will be out of a job!

Oh, but don't worry!

They tend to think

Mike Lowrey going

to be all right.

Especially since they think

you some rich kid playing cop.

Look, man, I ain't

got no trust fund.

Okay, see, for me,

no job, no check.

That's like all

the other guys in the unit.

At least, most of us.

So I'm playing cop now?

This is a game?

I'm just joking around, huh?

You always wanted to be

Starsky or Hutch.

You know what, man?

I'm so sick of this bullshit.

What, I'm supposed

to apologize

for my family

leaving me money?

All I ever wanted

to be was a cop.

I get up early

and I take it to the max

every day.

I'm the first guy

through the door

and I'm always the last guy

to leave the crime scene.

So you know what?

Fuck you, and fuck them!

And fuck anybody who got

a problem with Mike Lowrey!

I love you, man.

Fuck you, Marcus.

I do.

You're cool, man.

You're my partner.

Shut up. Shut up, man.

Slow-ass driver.

You driving like a bitch.

Why I got to be all that?

Slow-ass.

I'll take me and you off this

fucking cliff, if you

keep fucking with me.

All right?

Then it would be, what,

two bitches in the sea?

Is that it?

Is that what you want?

Shut up, Marcus.

My wife know I ain't no bitch.

I'm a bad boy.

Bad boys, bad boys.

What you gonna do?

What you gonna do

when they come for you?

Shelly, only models

and that's all.

Max just dropped by.

I got to go. Bye.

What's this that you want

me to call around looking

for the newly rich?

Are there any new guys

partying a lot, spending

a lot of money?

Actually, this guy called me

this morning, desperate,

every two hours, looking for

new girls in town. Are you

available this afternoon?

It'll be a quick $2000.

I've got plans with Julie.

She's your roommate, right?

Yeah.

So bring her. She's cute,

she's sexy, go on.

She's not

a working girl, Lois.

Doesn't matter.

This guy's on speedballs.

He's probably so messed up

he can't even get it up.

Well, all right, maybe

we'll go check it out.

Could be the party

I'm looking for.

JULIE: A party

at the Biltmore?

Yeah, that'll really rock.

MAX: Okay, Julie,

I owe you one.

Forget about it. I'll just

deduct it from the hundreds

of favors I already owe you.

Am I turning into the guest

that won't leave?

No, I like having

you live with me.

JULIE: I'm an out-of-work

photographer who doesn't know

how to cook.

I mean, not a big

upside for you there.

So, what incredibly hip

individual inspired this

little visit to the Biltmore?

It's a favor

for Mike Lowrey.

Oh, right. The cop who

I think you're just maybe

a little bit in love with.

Well, maybe I am.

But we're just friends, and...

And if I were ever in trouble,

he's the only person I'd call.

I know, I know. I think

I've heard this before.

[SNIFFLING]

Hello.

Hi.

You must be Max.

Welcome.

I'm Eddie.

To the Al Capone suite.

So I guess we're

a little early.

This is my friend Julie.

Julie.

Hi.

You like Al Capone,

don't you?

I hadn't really thought

about it much.

I'm not kidding about

this being Capone's.

He had the place rigged

with secret passageways.

Ten minutes,

we're out of here.

Five.

Julie. One drink.

EDDIE: What's

the whispering about?

One sip.

Just girl chat.

Where's the bathroom?

Upstairs on your right.

Watch your step.

Come.

Sit.

Okay.

EDDIE: Enjoy yourself. Relax.

Eddie's got some

favors to play with.

MAX: Yes, that he does.

I should've told you sooner

about Eddie's private party.

Well, now it's

a surprise party.

Okay, Max, I think

we've been here about

five minutes too long.

I see you treat

yourself well, Eddie.

Yeah.

I needed to blow off

a little steam after the,

uh...

The move, you know.

So I...

A little party with a

couple friends, you know

how it is, that's all.

I was going to

invite you guys.

Invite?

Looks like I'm catering this.

I was looking for

my 2 keys of dope,

and now I know where they are.

Yours? Man, it's our score.

And the girl?

EDDIE: Nobody.

Just entertainment.

Hi. I'm Max.

Nice to meet you, Max.

I like a woman who

takes pride in her appearance.

Don't you?

Yeah, I hate when a

bitch lets herself slide.

You look like a model in that

dress.

Will you model for me, Max?

Oh, great.

It's the goon squad.

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]

FOUCHET: You were a cop

for so long, you should know

hookers talk.

You couldn't wait four more

days until I made the deal?

I can't work with

that kind of stupidity!

EDDIE: Stupidity?

I got you connected inside.

I brought you my family.

Eddie.

It's my family now.

EDDIE: Fouchet,

we're still friends.

What are you guys doing?

You pissed him off.

CASPER: Use a smaller gun.

You got blood on me again.

Hey. Somebody's

up there! Upstairs!

CASPER: Get her! Move, Fergie.

Get her!

[MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

What the fuck?

CASPER: Shoot her!

[GASPS]

I got her.

I got her!

Bullshit, I got her.

What do you know

about shooting?

I can't believe she made it!

Jesus!

Are you serious?

She jumped.

Fuck!

Find out who she worked for,

and find out where she lives.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[HORN HONKS]

It's about fucking time!

Lowrey. Burnett.

Come here. Come here.

Look at this. See this guy?

He's dead, right?

Look familiar?

Eddie Dominguez.

The ex-cop.

Two points for you.

And there's some of our

high-grade heroin over there.

There's a headline

Sinclair's gonna love.

HOWARD: Look, there's no

signs of forced entry.

What the fuck is all this?

Look like Beirut.

It's the Al Capone suite.

What can I say?

Shit happens.

It's a shitty day.

Real shitty day.

Looks like we got

over here, gentlemen.

Seems to me, somebody's

missing from the party.

All right, listen to me.

Your only function in life

right now is to find that

person. You find her.

It's the only good lead

we got all day. You find her.

Look, man.

I'm gonna check all

calls to the room.

MIKE: Hey, what you got

over there, partner?

Cover her.

HOWARD: He knew the girl, huh?

Look, man.

All right,

we'll get the witness and

the fools who did this.

Yeah.

Listen, why don't you see if

you can catch

a ride with Howard?

Whoa.

Where you going?

Eight calls were made

to Lois Fields, that's who

Max used to work for.

So I'm gonna check it out.

All right,

well, I'll come with you.

No, why don't

we just catch up later.

You okay?

I'm cool.

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Shit!

Yeah, baby. Look, baby,

I know quality

time was my idea.

THERESA [OVER PHONE]:

Don't talk to me

about quality time.

Hold on, babe.

Look here, I need a full

file on Eddie Dominguez.

MAN: That will take

a minute.

Hold on.

THERESA: I got on the red one.

Baby?

You have on the red one?

The one with the snaps?

Why couldn't you wait till...

You're never home, baby.

Theresa, hold on.

MAN:

All his files are blocked.

Hey, I don't give a damn

about his personal files.

The man's dead. Unblock it.

MAN:

Screw you, that's illegal.

No, screw you!

THERESA:

Marcus, are you talking to me?

No, I'm not talking to no...

It's a term you use, baby.

"Screw you" is a cop term.

You ain't screwing nothing!

Theres...

Goddamn it!

HOWARD: Where's Lowrey?

I just paged him.

He's following up

this Lois Fields lead.

The madam?

21-2, request backup.

614 Reach Road.

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]:

21-2, backup. Reach Road.

[GRUNTING]

[PHONE RINGS]

That might be him.

Yeah, Lowrey's desk.

I need to talk

to Detective Mike Lowrey.

HOWARD [OVER PHONE]:

This is Captain Howard.

Can I help you?

You can get me

Detective Lowrey.

Look, this is not another

paternity case is it?

No, it's another murder case,

you twerp!

You're talking about the

murder case at the Biltmore

Hotel tonight?

Listen, I've just seen my

best friend get murdered.

And I'll only

talk to Mike Lowrey.

Why only Mike Lowrey?

I have a detective here...

None of your fucking business,

all right? Either Lowrey

or I'm gonna blow town.

Mike, phone! Telephone!

Mike!

He's coming right now.

Hold on, please.

Talk to her.

I ain't got time

for these games.

Talk to her.

This is the witness,

the girl at the hotel.

Yeah, he just got out

of the john. Hold on.

Talk to her now.

Talk to her now or

she's gonna walk.

Captain, I can't be

no Mike, man.

Just talk to her.

She's going to walk out.

This is our witness.

Calm down!

Hello.

This is Mike Lowrey.

He doesn't talk that way.

Talk like him.

Try to talk sexy.

You don't sound

sexy enough.

Captain!

Damn!

You don't know me.

My name's Julie Mott.

And I was Max Logan's

best friend.

Okay, whoa, calm

down, calm down.

Talk to me now.

Yeah.

And she said if she

ever needed anything...

[CRYING]

I need your help.

Give me the address.

All right. Okay.

It's gonna be all right.

Hey, Mike's to the rescue.

I'm on the way.

All right.

Let me see

if I can find Lowrey.

Hey, I can't go.

But you gotta go! Go.

Get Mike down here, man.

Handle this.

Go now. Get out of the chair!

I'll wait till Mike get here.

You won't see your wife for

a month! Get out of the chair!

Get this fucking door fixed!

Mike Lowrey.

No, easy.

Mike Lowrey.

[KNOCKING]

Shit!

Who's there?

Mike Lowrey.

How do I know

it's Mike Lowrey?

Because, I'm Mike Lowrey!

Okay, now we ain't

got much time.

Hold your badge up

to the peephole.

I'm not letting you in

until you do.

[DOG BARKS]

No way!

What the fuck was that for?

You're not Mike Lowrey!

What you mean I ain't

Mike Lowrey? You've

never even met him... Me!

Max described you differently!

I'm undercover!

Prove it!

Okay.

I know Max from way back.

I helped her

brother get out of jail.

Yeah, so?

I mean, you know,

I was cool like that,

little bump and grind...

Wrong!

Give me the bat!

You wanna go at this? Fine!

You don't want to believe me?

You go at this shit alone!

Oh, I forgot.

The bad guys probably

know where you live,

which means they're coming

for your ass. Good luck!

I saw the whole thing.

I watched them shoot her

like she was nothing.

Please, shut the door.

Look, lady.

You ain't got

no more bats, golf clubs,

or anything like that you

can swing at me, do you?

I knew Max, okay?

I cared about Max also.

I'm just here to help you.

You're not what I expected.

Yeah, well,

I ain't expect to walk

into Yankee Stadium either.

[BAT CLATTERS]

Okay, now, we got to get out

of here, okay? Let's go.

I've got to get my dogs.

Come here, Dukie!

Lukie, Dukie, whatever!

Look, you got

a back door?

Where we going?

Duke, come here.

Protective custody.

Well, fuck that!

I'm only dealing with you.

That was a cop

back at the Biltmore.

Former cop, okay?

We got rid of him

a long time ago.

Luke, come on, Luke!

Listen, lady, if you want

to live, you ain't got no

choice, you got to trust me.

[SCREAMS]

[BOTH YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

MARCUS: Run! Run! Move!

JULIE: Get my dog! Get my dog!

Here, doggie! Come on, doggie!

Jesus Christ!

Who the hell was that?

There is too much

killing going on!

Go after them!

Go! Go!

I'll go around front!

MARCUS: Come on. Come on,

move your ass! Let's go!

Fuck!

Get in the car!

Damn it!

JULIE: Go, goddamn it!

Fucking door!

Go, goddamn it, go!

[COUGHING]

How did you miss them?

Huh? You fat fuck!

Watch your fucking

mouth, will you!

Lose some weight and

you would have caught them.

I'd like to come over and

squeeze your little fucking

head, you bastard.

You're in trouble.

Now you're in fucking trouble!

You get the license plate?

Yeah, I got

the fucking plates.

You cockeyed fuck!

This is your

goddamn getaway car?

What is this? A goddamn

family station wagon?

Oh, my God, you got...

You got a baby

seat in the back.

It's an undercover car, okay?

Undercover.

Shit. I know they got a look

at my license plate. Were

those the guys who shot Max?

What guys?

All I saw were bullets.

You tell me what

they looked like.

I don't know. I was too

busy trying to keep a

bullet out of your ass.

Look, Julie.

I'm gonna need you

to look through some mug shots

until you can identify

Max's shooter.

Where are we gonna do that?

Protective custody.

No way! I told you, I am not

going into protective custody!

Look, lady, I'm not playing.

Okay, you really

pissing me off.

Now, I'll book

your narrow ass!

Oh, yeah?

And I'll develop amnesia.

I feel a little case

of it coming on right now.

Fine, lady, where

would you feel safe?

You want to do

protective custody?

All right.

We'll do in-home protective

custody at your place.

All right? I can handle

going to your place.

Yeah, my place.

My place is...

No way.

Right.

My place... Yeah.

No, my place...

Yeah, my place is the shit.

Mike Lowrey's place.

You right.

That's the best idea

you came up with tonight.

Yeah, my place.

Wait here.

Wait here.

Detective Burnett!

How are you?

Long time no see.

Mr. Lowrey, he's not here.

He's out.

I know. He said I could

use his place tonight.

Oh, really?

He didn't mention it to me.

Who's the chick?

How's your wife?

[CHUCKLES]

Fine, she's fine.

And your kids, they're

good? Because family's

the most important thing.

Is it?

Yeah.

Mr. Lowrey told me that

you got a real baby factory

going on over

there at your house.

That true?

Here you go.

Aah.

If that ain't enough,

I'm gonna run you

in for extortion.

You know,

I'm so stupid sometimes.

Are you?

Mr. Lowrey did mention

something about you

coming by tonight.

What did he say?

Did he say he had a key?

Hang out.

Here you go.

Is this it?

Yeah. You're hurting me.

Thank you.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Have fun.

It's not like that.

Sure, sure.

It's not like that.

[DOOR OPENS]

MARCUS: Yeah, come on.

Watch your step

up through here.

Damn, I must've left

some incense burning.

Welcome to

Casa de Lowrey.

This is kind of...

I'm always moving

my switches.

See, I'm always decorating,

so sometimes I just

don't know where shit is.

Damn!

Shit!

Why am I tripping on shit

I know is there?

See, you found a light switch.

I should have known it was

there since I decorated

the place.

[PHONE RINGS AND

MACHINE ANSWERS]

WOMAN [ON MACHINE]:

Mike, this is Yvette.

I'm horny...

Ignore this.

It's one of my freaks.

MARCUS: She's always calling,

got to have it.

Don't call here no more now,

freak! Just one of my freaks.

JULIE: All of this

on a cop's salary?

YVETTE:

...right now, on the table.

MARCUS: Uh, well,

it's honest money.

I'm a second-generation

rich kid.

So if you're not in it for

the pay check, what are you,

some kind of action junkie?

If that's what you

want to call it.

I don't mind bats swung

at my head, bullets damn

near grazing my ass.

Gives me a rush.

Look, let me give you a

broad stroke of the place.

I got some T-bones in the

fridge for Lukie and Dukie...

Sorry, your fridge

is this way. I confuse

my own shit.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You're gonna leave

me here alone?

Yeah, I gotta get

back to the P.D.

These are Miami's

peak crime hours,

you know.

Apparently.

You know, they said that

this deal was going down

in four days, and I'm...

You know, obviously seem

to be kind of a major glitch

in their...

Hey.

You ain't with the bad guys

now. You're with the cops.

With Mike Lowrey.

You with the cops. Okay?

Everything's gonna be

all right. Trust me.

[IMITATING SCHWARZENEGGER]

I'll be back.

I know that it's no time

to joke, but remember

in the movie when...

All right, all right.

Thanks for everything, Mike.

I'm gonna go.

Chet.

CHET: That was quick.

You're one of those guys.

In and out.

It's not like that,

Chet, okay?

The girl,

she's a witness.

Right.

I need you to keep

an eye out.

No problem.

All right, now listen

to me. Hear me.

Me? Okay.

That's right.

All right, the moment

Lowrey gets in, you

have him call me at home.

Call you at home.

At my home.

Use this phone.

Don't let him go upstairs.

Don't let him upstairs?

But he lives here. I can't

argue with Mr. Lowrey.

I could lose my job.

Chet, trust me on this, okay?

Okay. Call you from here.

Don't let him up.

From here.

Important witness.

No problem. Okay.

Thank you.

I got a better idea. I'm

getting off in two hours.

If you want, I could go

upstairs and watch the door.

You know, like cops do in

the movies. Sit on the stool.

I got a magazine

and everything.

And I don't let

anybody in or out.

Seriously. All kidding

aside, I want to help.

You're helping.

Do that from here.

Can you do it from here?

Yeah, I can do it from here.

Fine. That helps.

From here, okay?

Okay. All right.

It's funny that you ask me,

I was going to be a cop.

I took the test

and everything.

You know,

just didn't work out.

Politics.

Yeah. I know.

You're my deputy.

I'm your deputy.

From here.

Watch out for everything.

You got it.

Take care, chief.

I'm a deputy.

Don't "honey-baby" me,

you smell like perfume.

[STAMMERS]

And you don't even have

your wedding ring on!

Damn!

I went undercover,

and so it required taking

off the ring for a second.

I got the ring. Look, I just

put my hand in my pocket

because that's where it was,

and it's right back on, baby.

Damn!

Can I get a pillow?

Well, if it isn't

the guy who doesn't

return phone calls.

You mind telling me

where the hell you been

the last 12 hours?

Huh? I been

paging you all night!

We got a situation here

that I think you need

to know about.

Look, Marcus,

I got a dead madam,

I got a concussion and

I got a real bad headache.

You got a headache.

Well, let me tell you

what I did last night.

I had to sleep on my couch.

I wake up this morning and

I got a Power Ranger

stuck up my ass.

And while we're discussing

my ass, I damn near got

it blown off.

Guess what the good

news is. I got a witness.

Marcus. Marcus.

Let me tell you

about this witness.

Shh. You sound like

a nagging wife.

I'm a nagging...

I'm nagging?

You see what happens

when you go off without me?

You get into shit.

Oh, please, like shit don't

happen when you're there.

That ain't the point, okay?

The point is, if your partner

pages you, you might wanna

get back to your partner.

I want to meet the man

who whupped your ass.

I want to meet who

whupped Shaft's ass.

That's what I want.

Look at me, man.

Last night, you don't know

what I've been through.

My wife done kicked me out

the house. Kicked me out

of a happy home.

But, no. You got to

go off by yourself.

"I got this, partner,

I got this." Bullshit.

I am feeling much better

though. Thank you.

And I'm gonna get his ass.

MARCUS: Watch yourself.

What did I say?

Did you hear what I said?

I heard what I said because

I was standing

there when I said it.

I told you. I told you

to secure a witness,

not to shoot up a

neighborhood.

Not to do another dead body.

Just get the dope back,

and do it quietly.

Look, captain. This situation

is getting out of control.

You're goddamn right

it's getting out of control!

Look, man, I damn near

had to pass a pop quiz

before she believed I was him.

HOWARD: Going, it's going...

Shit, little off.

I haven't killed anybody

yet today, captain.

Do you want me to yell at you?

Because I can do that.

Let me tell you something.

This witness, it's the only

good news I got.

The only good news.

You guys are bad news.

So, what does that mean?

That means if you have

to be Mike Lowrey,

Santa Claus,

I don't give a shit,

that's what you're gonna be!

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

What the hell is

going on in here?

I was, like, getting them

all in before you showed up.

Can somebody

talk to me, please?

Can I know what's going on?

Captain, these fools could

have gotten a look at my

license plate last night.

So where's the girl now?

His place.

What?

You left her by herself?

Our only fucking witness?

You left a strange hooker

alone in my apartment?

The girl is not a hooker,

as far as I know.

I had to stash her

somewhere. Her and her

dogs, Luke and Dukie.

You left dogs in my house?

So there's dogs and a

hooker in my house?

How about you just add

some chimps, okay?

We can have a carnival.

Didn't I just say

she wasn't a hooker?

Can you please...

HOWARD: Shut up!

For years, Sinclair has

been up my ass, trying to

pin something on me.

I'm always taking it for you.

Right? Do it for me!

Now, if we get this witness

to ID the shooters, maybe

we catch our bad guys.

But until then,

until then,

you are Mike Lowrey.

You be him,

you're him.

You're him!

I don't want to hear it!

You're him.

And you! You be you.

But not in front of her!

You're him, you're you!

Can we get a time-out here,

cap? What am I, like,

the designated homeless?

Hey. Does it look like I care?

Whatever it takes.

What did she say to you?

The shooters are gonna

make their drop in four days?

So we got four days.

Captain, what kind

of plan is that?

I can't be shacked up

with that woman.

I have a family to look after.

My wife will kill my ass.

You don't like

your job, quit.

Damn!

Look, I'll stay at the house

with Theresa and the kids.

Thank you. But no, thanks,

okay? You won't last

five minutes with my family.

Please, man.

Married life is easy.

You only got one

woman to satisfy.

MARCUS: Yo, man,

we ain't the Cosbys.

Let's go, I got this.

Go.

Everybody wants

to be like Mike.

Yeah, and you're going

to be retired like him too.

I'd have dunked it

on your ass.

Cleveland? I have never...

Hey, look, woman, okay?

Now I done told you, okay?

It's a federal subpoena.

What am I gonna do,

tell them no?

I don't know what you're gonna

tell them, baby.

Why can't he go?

Why can't you go?

Oh, you know, I wanted to,

but Captain Howard said,

you know, I'm irresponsi...

No, he said, "loose cannon."

Because I be shooting

in public.

Just out of nowhere sometimes.

Mike! No, man.

Please.

All right.

Look, babe, okay?

The neighborhood has

had a lot of break-ins.

I can handle it.

I don't need Mike.

MARCUS:

I know you can handle it,

but I'm worrying about me.

Mike's going to stay here.

Take care of y'all.

Just till I come back.

THERESA: Who's gonna pick

the kids up from day care

and all that stuff?

Mike can't do it.

Are you listening to me, baby?

I said, Mi...

Hey, I read a book that

could probably help y'all.

Mike, please, man.

Can you go down and have

a Coke and a smile?

Please.

All right.

Y'all want something?

Bring me a Coke, Mike.

Baby, you want a Coke?

I'm fine, thank you.

Mike.

All right.

So explain it to me, Elliot.

We've got a problem

with our chemistry set?

It's not a chemistry set.

He knows it ain't

a chemistry set,

asshole.

So, what is it?

The cutting agent

is a highly volatile...

substance.

The ether...

I don't care.

I don't care! I don't care!

I'm not a fucking

chemistry teacher, Elliot.

So, what is the problem?

The problem is that there's

too much moisture down here.

Yeah, it's totally fucked.

You shut up!

Okay.

So, what else?

ELLIOT: It's taking longer

to cook than

we originally planned.

And if we rush it,

we're gonna have a lot

of drugs that we can't sell.

You're fucking with my

timetable here. I gave you

a deadline. You understand?

Do you understand?

I understand.

MARCUS: Julie!

JULIE: Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, um...

Hi.

You dressed?

Yeah, I am.

Look, we gotta go through

some mug shots. So I'm gonna

hook into the computer,

and we can do this.

Hey, Mike,

who's the guy in all

the photographs?

Sometimes I don't even

look at my shelf and I forgot

all the pictures was here.

That's my partner.

Yeah, that's my partner,

Marcus Burnett.

I've never seen anything

like this before.

Well, I can see how it

may throw you a little bit.

You know what?

It's a cop thing.

Yeah, these pictures

are up here

for every time

he saved my life.

It's the same thing with him.

You go to his place, ain't

nothing but pictures of me.

Because it's like a

shrine. Just a reminder.

Oh.

Because, I mean, when

I saw it, the whole wall,

I thought maybe they were,

you know,

pictures of your lover.

Of who?

I thought that... You know,

I thought maybe you were gay.

I was gay?

Nah, nah, nah, baby.

I mean, I didn't mean to

offend you. You know, it's

okay to be a homosexual, Mike.

No, you're not listening.

It's not registering, okay?

Believe me. Did you

sleep in the bed? You

didn't feel the dents?

Yeah, the dents

come from all that.

That's how I gets down.

Oh, that's...

sweet.

Gay. Psh. If I was,

I'd change the drapes

in this motherfucker.

JULIE: No.

You want some?

No, thanks.

I don't eat flesh.

What?

That's flesh that you're

shoveling into your mouth.

You know, that was a living,

breathing creature, you know.

It probably had a name.

It's just bologna.

My bologna has a first name.

Well, actually, your bologna

has about 30 names,

you know, because they

take, like, odd parts from

all different ones.

You know, like, the leftovers,

like the hooves,

stomach lining, ears,

stuff like that. You know.

They put it into this machine

and, like, grind it all up.

And then out comes, like,

this sheet. That's what

you're eating now.

Okay.

You know what?

I don't eat bologna no more.

How about a pickle?

Can I eat the pickle?

Well, there's a lot of salt

in it, but, yeah, it's fine.

It is a vegetable.

Lot of salt in the pickle?

Okay, let me rinse...

Let me rinse it off.

There we go. There we go.

Hm? How's that?

Just... Let's keep going.

I don't even taste

the salt now.

Go back. Go back.

That's the guy.

He was there, in the room.

We got a tip they was running

some major druggage in there,

something like 50 keys.

So we steps to the door. Boom!

"Freeze! Miami P.D.!

Get down, get down, get down!"

Out of nowhere,

this little crazy pimp

named Chino punched me

in the head with

some brass knuckles.

So I'm like, "Ah."

Chino's been running

ho's up in there,

but your dad will

explain that to you.

Look at it. Your dogs,

they shitting all over

my place. Liquid shit.

It doesn't help, you going

around shellacking it in

with furniture polish.

There's a piece right

there. Please, get that.

Fine. I got it.

Look like a chip of shit.

Francine, can I please

have the parole jacket

on Noah Trafficante?

Thank you.

MARCUS: You know what, man?

I'm getting tired

of this witness, man.

I wanna get back to my life

the way it was.

I'm tired. Okay, I got married

so I could stop lying.

You know what? I cannot

believe you're complaining.

You got it easy

compared to me,

living in that

zoo you call home.

Why you got to call

my place a zoo?

I'm tired of you

talking that stuff.

Now you want to fight me.

Don't call my

place no zoo, man.

Listen, Francine, please...

Yo, that's my

silk shirt, man!

Yeah. It's kind of nice.

I figure since I'm gonna

be like Mike, I might as well

dress like Mike. You know.

I wanna be,

I wanna be like Mike.

Pow! Huh?

You're sick.

Something's wrong with you.

You have a problem and you

should have yourself checked.

Probably.

Here's the file.

He worked at Club Hell.

Thank you. Thank you.

[PAGER BEEPING]

Can you take care of this,

please? I gotta call the wife.

Whose wife?

Can you please do some work?

One time today,

just do something!

I'm gonna tell you...

Do something that

helps this case.

Boy.

You look real

handsome today,

Marcus.

No, see, it's not

that kind of day. Okay?

Leave me the fuck alone.

Seriously.

All right?

What's up,

babe, PMS?

No, damn the jokes.

Damn them.

Ring it. Ain't in the mood.

Yeah, that's cool. Hold on.

Okay. Go ahead.

Mm-hm. All right.

How are things

going with the kids?

THERESA: They're fine.

You okay?

How's that

potty-training thing going?

THERESA: Slowly, but surely.

You're so silly.

You gonna be late tonight?

It'll be 10:30,

11:00 before I get in.

No, don't wait up.

I'll be there.

[PHONE HANGS UP]

So yeah, why don't you

rent a movie or something?

You know. Something

we can kick back to.

So, what you wearing?

Give me the phone!

Give it! Baby!

She hung up a long time ago.

I was playing. I was playing.

Hello?

I was playing.

Hey, man. Don't play that.

That's my family. Don't break

up a happy home.

Stop wearing my clothes then.

Everybody about the

motherfucking jokes

today, ain't they? Hello.

MIKE: I can't believe this.

Come on, Francine, this

Eddie Dominguez file can't

be that hard to get into.

I tried three times,

I just can't get in.

Besides, you know,

this is illegal.

Well, yeah, that never

stopped you before. Just let

me know if you get anything.

Anything for you.

But I can't get in. I tried.

What's up, Chet?

Hey, Mr. Lowrey.

Chet.

Hey, Mr. Lowrey.

Okay. The Lowrey Brothers.

MIKE: Let's just get down to

Club Hell and pick up Noah.

Julie, it's me!

What's up? You're supposed

to be getting us into this

Eddie Dominguez file.

It's gonna be a day or two.

We don't have

no day or two.

I'm not the computer whiz.

It's gonna take a while before

we can hack the computer.

You not taking care of shit.

JULIE: Mike, listen,

I was thinking...

Hi.

You must be Marcus.

Marcus. I'd be Marcus.

That's right.

JULIE: Marcus, right?

I'm Julie.

Julie. All right.

Nice to meet you.

You too.

I recognized you from

every one of the photographs.

Oh. Well, it's my man,

you know.

The wall. Yeah,

those on the wall.

You must be very good.

I'm sorry?

As a partner.

Given your job, what you do.

What time are we

doing this thing tonight?

Excuse me?

Mike said that

we're going to a club.

Yeah, well, "we,"

as in me and my partner.

You wanted home protective

custody. You at my house.

Oh, that's just great.

So I'll just stay here again

with Chet the mini-moron

doorman to protect me?

Chet is very good.

Oh, I'm so...

That looks like a stain

on your rug. Damn.

That was my baby, Luke.

He gets kind of nervous

in new surroundings...

And he just shits, huh?

Well, it's sort of... It's

like marking his territory

It's sort of a male thing.

I offered to pay Mike

for the cleaning and

he wouldn't hear of it.

I'm gonna get rid of it.

Yeah, you don't need that.

Yeah, I was going to throw

that out anyway, you know

I just want a new look.

Mike, he's a special guy.

That Mike is special.

That's what I call him,

Special Mike.

It's funny...

I like how you can

just laugh at that.

That's why...

I love him. Now, me,

whoo! I'd be pissed.

Oh, and look at this cute

little dog on the couch.

That's Luke.

Look how he just crawls

around on the leather.

You want to meet Duke?

He's in the bed. He's been

feeling sort of upset

and having diarrhea

and throwing up all morning.

Oh, baby.

Let's go see if little Duke is

going to be okay, shall we?

[LUKE GROWLS]

Me and you. Me and you.

Oh, Mike.

MARCUS: Hey, lady,

who are you?

YVETTE: Who the hell are you?

MARCUS: Look,

you gotta get out.

Get your hands off me!

Lady, don't push me!

YVETTE: I'm Yvette.

Well, you not the Yvette

I know.

YVETTE: Get your hands off me!

Hey, what are you doing?

Get out of here, all right?

If you don't stop stalking me,

I'm gonna arrest your ass.

You old psycho!

YVETTE: You asshole!

Woman's into some weird shit.

What's going on out here?

MARCUS: That was crazy Yvette.

Stalking me. Ha.

Yvette?

You threw Yvette out?

Yvette is a masseuse.

Mm-hm.

She massages shit.

She told me.

Hey, listen, are there any

other totally hysterical,

half-naked women

popping by tonight that

I should know about?

She was naked?

Titties were out

a little bit.

You threw Yvette out naked?

[STAMMERS]

My wife would hate...

She hates womanizers.

I don't believe... You see...

Something wrong with you.

You don't respect

other people's shit,

that's your problem.

I've been

telling you for years.

Ever since we started,

your trash is all over.

Enough! Please!

Me and my partner,

we're going to

Club Hell so we can

bust this fool Noah.

Does anybody have

a problem with that?

Fine.

Don't blow the case.

Okay, Frank,

here's the deal, okay.

You stay put.

Anybody tells

you to move, don't.

I don't care what they say.

Tell them you're making

a delivery for Fouchet.

You got it? You got it? Frank?

It's ether!

It'll explode, you dope!

Don't even breathe,

you knucklehead!

Noah.

I remember you.

Check it, Lowrey...

We got two days left.

Let's try to do this right.

No gunshots,

no dead bodies.

I'm not trying to lose

my job on this one.

Well, you know, if I recall,

the last couple dead bad guys

belonged to you.

And next time you

have to kill them,

why don't you do it after you

get the information that

we need.

Just a suggestion.

Please. You ain't even trying

to compare body counts.

Should I keep going

all day? I'm out.

I'm out.

This guy Noah's parole jacket

says he works in there.

We're standing out

front arguing like a

couple of schoolgirls.

What do you say we put an

end to all this bickering?

Because you starting to

get on my goddamn nerves.

[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING

OVER SPEAKERS]

He got no package.

Look at you! Look at you!

Can you stay focused?

What you talking about?

I'm focused.

Yeah. Focused on

all this scattered

ass around here.

Let's do what we came

to do and get the fuck

out of here.

Simple.

Fine.

Let's just split up,

check around.

Meet you at

the bar in 10 minutes.

Fine.

Fine.

CASPER: Holy shit,

what the hell is he doing?

Oh, man! That's the cop!

There he is! See him?

NOAH: That's him! I'm going.

[HUMS]

What's up?

MARCUS: Whoo...

Budweiser. Feel like I had

a million of them.

What's up, motherfucker?

Tell me where the

girl is, jack-off!

Oh, fuck!

Next time, learn how to work

the safety with your punk-ass.

I'll be back.

Who done tore off and

whupped your ass now?

This ain't the time.

This really ain't

the fucking time.

Look. They know. Let's get

Noah and get out of here.

Hey, it's the chick.

Look, the chick!

The girl.

The bitch from the rooftop!

Julie!

[GUNSHOT]

MARCUS: Let's go!

That was the guy

who shot Maxie!

MIKE: The truck! Come on,

let's take the truck!

There! Right there! Go!

MIKE: Move it! Move it!

We're really in a hurry.

Let's go!

JULIE: You're cops! Why are we

running away? He's in there!

Here! Go!

This is good.

Noah's chasing us!

What was that?

What the...

What was that?

That was...

I don't know.

But I had a perfectly good

shot at him if your friend

Action Jackson over here...

No! No! This is official

police business!

You had no business in there!

And can you please

drive this thing?

Please drive!

Don't bring it here,

all right?

You're the one who picked a

slow-ass ice-cream truck!

What am I smelling?

Just drive!

What am I smelling?

JULIE: Ether.

Extremely flammable ether.

Oh, shit.

Goddamn.

You the man!

You the fucking man tonight!

How you gonna pick an

ice-cream truck that's

a damn bomb?

Shit!

This is protective custody?

Yes!

[TRUCK HORN HONKS]

Oh, shit!

You better do something, boy!

Because we're

running out of road!

Who picked this dumb-ass road?

All the goddamn road in Miami

and you run out of it!

You gotta come up

with an idea, fast!

Why I gotta come up

with all the ideas?

Take this shit!

We're coming to a dead end!

There's no more road!

We out of fucking road!

Motherfucker's going to blow!

Get the fuck out!

Get the fuck out!

Well...

Should I add this

to your body count?

There goes our

only lead to the dope.

Ain't this a bitch.

The dope? The do...

What are you talking about?

How about, "There goes

our only lead to Max's

killer"? He's still out there.

Oh, but, I mean, that's not

really important 'cause

it's not like

it's your job to protect

people. Holy shit.

See what I'm saying?

She's crazy!

I'm crazy?

You're gone!

What's wrong with you?

Stop it! Marcus!

This is the witness!

She done zoomed.

That's it, you deal with her.

No way.

Julie.

Listen, yes, okay,

you're right.

This whole thing started

because of missing drugs.

But let me tell you something,

there's nothing,

absolutely nothing,

more important to Mike

than doing this guy

that killed Max.

I know, sometimes

he has a hard time

expressing his real feelings.

Come on. It's gonna

be all right, okay?

We need you.

Part of the team.

JULIE: I thought he was

supposed to be the smooth one.

MIKE: This has not

been a good day.

Damn right. This is

bullshit. We got two

days to find these fools,

and we got no leads

because you cooked Noah's

ass back on the freeway.

[HUMS]

Shampoo?

Hello.

MARCUS: Well, let's just

do that.

MIKE: What's up?

Hey.

MARCUS:

Julie, it don't take that

long to get shampoo.

Come on, please, let's go.

JULIE: Look at this.

"Animal tested.

Animal tested."

Do you know how many

chemicals are in this stuff?

I don't care if you go bald.

Just get it and let's go.

Jojo.

He is a chemist.

It's entirely too much

heroin and too much ether

for nobody to know nothing.

What's he talking about?

Well, you know the barrels

of ether that blew up

on the ice-cream truck?

They were gonna use

that to process the heroin.

Yeah, they do that to cut it.

It, like, quadruples

the value.

MARCUS: Yeah, you can't

just nuke it.

Let's just pay for this,

all right?

MIKE: Hey, how much is that?

$14.25.

Damn, you know what?

I must've left

my wallet somewhere.

Freeze, motherbitches!

Don't you move.

MARCUS: Wait...

I'm not understanding.

I really don't.

Shut up!

Do you just

attract violent people?

Shut the fuck up!

Take it easy, all right?

We're police officers.

You're not police officers.

I'm not stupid. I know.

MARCUS: Wait.

I know. I've seen police.

I'm gonna reach

for my badge, okay?

You want badges, motherbitch?

I give you badges!

Here! 99 cents each.

I sell you some.

He got eight fucking

badges. I told you this

cop thing don't work.

I blow you! Then I blow you!

Blow me? What the fuck?

No, hump me, that's all right.

I kill before. I kill again.

Please! Hold on!

I'm gonna blow you!

No, you hold on!

Do you see the fucking emotion

I'm going through right now?

That means this is serious.

That means me and this

motherfucker is not vibing

now. That's what that means.

You got

something on your chest?

I got something!

Hello! The guy's got a cannon.

What do you want?

You want some?

Then come get it.

I want some.

I'm gone!

Hey, freeze, bitch!

You freeze, bitch!

Oh, shit. I'm fucked.

Now back up.

Put the gun down. And

get me a pack of tropical

fruit Bubblicious.

And some Skittles.

MARCUS: Hell of a night.

I'm going to bed.

So make yourself at home.

It's your bed.

I'll sit down,

you know, for...

For a minute.

You know, because...

I'm guarding shit,

you know. I'm watching

out for the bad boys.

I can see things

real well, you know,

from my peripherals.

You know, for such

a stud, Mike Lowrey,

you sure seem a little rigid

about having a girl

in your bed.

Who?

Me? Mike Lowrey?

I'm not rigid.

I'm comfortable.

It's my bed. Why would

I be uncomfortable?

I don't know. You know,

I think it's more than

just wired.

I mean, maybe it was

guns and stuff.

I mean, I've never really

shot a gun before.

All that,

I don't know, steel...

I'm feeling... Don't you

feel a little funny?

I'm not a comedian, but...

I don't mean

that kind of funny,

I mean, like...

funny.

You don't want that.

You don't want that,

because when I come,

I come with the thunder.

And that's...

Mike.

You sound like you're

saving yourself for marriage.

No, that ain't me there.

That's Marcus.

You know what I'm saying?

He's the married one.

I got some other...

Oh, no.

I done seen it now.

Turn the page.

No.

Turn the page, girl.

I done already seen it.

Don't laugh.

MIKE: No. I cannot believe

he wore his Afro that big.

I forgot all about that.

He looked cute

like that, I think.

What's Marcus'

wife like?

She's like a wife.

Well, I mean,

she must be pretty

amazing to keep

a guy like Marcus.

Keep a guy like what?

Well, you know, watching

him tonight, he's very...

sort of take charge.

The way he was throwing

guys this way and that.

You know, there's something

about him. I don't know

what it is. He's so smooth.

Boy...

I bet...

his wife's enjoying the

smoothness right this minute.

He got a quality

women respond to.

Sure.

I can't imagine

the kind of woman

that wouldn't find Marcus...

attractive.

Probably couldn't

be around him and...

just, you know,

like our situation.

If two people were alone...

No, not with a guy like that.

Excuse me.

What is wrong with him?

This one goes on the

bulletin board at work.

[PHONE RINGS]

Don't do that. No, come on.

[OVER PHONE]

Mike, put it back in, I can't

believe you took it out.

Come on. Marcus will kill us

if he finds out.

Give it to me.

I can't believe

I let you see it.

Motherfucker!

Goddamn it.

Got some jewelery for you.

I'm sorry, but damn that.

Whoa. I think we need to

address this serious lack

of trust in this relationship.

Please.

Is this legal?

I don't think it's legal.

I won't be long.

Oh, it's legal.

Out of sight.

Yeah, Sanchez, Lowrey.

Yeah, your mother. Listen.

I think these guys

are about to make a move.

Blue convertible.

Two visible occupants.

Check it out, all right?

Hey, hey, hey. Here we go.

Is that our guy?

Where's the girl?

I don't see any girl.

[DOG BARKING]

Fuck off,

barking-ass dog.

Shut up!

Sneak up on my own

motherfucking house.

MAN 1: What in the world?

Very strange.

His ass is upstairs.

Supposed to be my boy!

You motherfucker!

Like ducking and weaving,

up and down.

MARCUS: Look at this shit.

This is what you want?

Got me climbing like

a fucking chimp.

No, I ain't going

out like that.

Don't take nobody that

goddamn long to get in bed.

Got my babies in the house.

The man can't get

no quality time,

but, oh, yeah, my partner

can get some quality time.

I don't play that shit.

Oh, my God.

Somebody's out there!

MIKE: Get the kids.

Get the kids!

MARCUS: I knew it! I didn't

even have to call

a fucking psychic line.

MIKE: Freeze!

Move, and you're dead.

MAN 1: Gun right up

to his head. Gonna shoot each

other. This is unbelievable.

Miami Police! Freeze!

I am the police!

Marcus, what are you doing?

You're doing Theresa!

No, I'm not!

You're doing my baby!

Marcus, shut up!

MAN 2:

We could sneak up and

snuff them both right now.

MAN 1: Yeah, but we're

supposed to get the girl.

Never fuck with

a cop's family, asshole.

Doesn't that piss you off?

RUIZ: That pisses

the fuck out of me.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't get me started.

Get out of the car.

Motherfucker!

This whole shit is

making you crazy, man!

You know damn well ain't

nothing going on between

me and Theresa!

Man, I've been your

partner for six years

and I've been

your boy all my life.

For you to even think...

To even let some

dumb shit like that creep up

in your mind!

This is me, man!

What's wrong with you?

Man, fucking...

THERESA: Mike!

I'm just...

I'm fine!

Get the fuck out of here,

man! Where's Julie?

She's in the car, handcuffed

to the steering wheel.

Are you trying to

blow this whole case?

My bad. I ain't

had no quality time.

You know how that shit is.

Sometimes you do dumb shit.

My bad, all right?

It's cool, man.

Go, go. All right.

These phone calls

were made to Club Hell

from this precinct.

Explain.

I'm gonna ask you one more

time. Give me a name.

Give me a goddamn name!

Okay. Okay.

All I know is his name.

Give me his name.

RUIZ: You're looking at a lot

of time, you know that?

Fouchet.

Fouchet, I think.

That's his whole name,

"Fouchet"?

Fouchet.

I'm just an errand boy.

Stop it, please.

You're gonna make me cry.

I swear. Watching the house

was my first gig.

SANCHEZ: How sweet.

Does that make you union?

You know something?

If you were a real cop,

in the field,

working every day,

you'd realize

that shit happens.

Don't give me that crap.

You know, you're on your

way to being reassigned.

Shut down.

Who's gonna reassign me? You?

You don't have the

authority to reassign me.

So until you do,

stay the hell out of here!

They should just bone

and get that shit over with.

I'm getting

really tired of this.

You're tired?

They're overfed, they're lazy.

We need video surveillance.

These guard dogs

are nothing.

Jojo!

Don't make this hard!

Nice running into you, Jojo.

Always making it

hard on yourself, Jojo.

Gee, Julie, what have you been

up to the last couple of days?

Oh, nothing. Just hanging out,

handcuffed to steering wheels.

MARCUS: Now we're looking for

someone who could step

on a shit-load of heroin.

Do it real fast, real well.

We're looking for

a real pro, Jojo.

Well, I told you already, I'm

in the rubber business now.

Jojo, we're not playing, man.

Huh?

I'm telling you,

man, I'm straight.

I'm straight like a board,

like an arrow. I'm so

straight, it's sick.

Jojo. It's a lot of dope, man.

Who could cut it real quick?

Cut it?

Cut it up?

I'm sick of this bullshit.

Bullshit!

What's up, yo?

You're pulling a gun on me?

You guys are cops!

I can't believe this. I should

turn you in to Hard Copy.

Put your ass on TV.

What you doing?

I got this. Jojo...

I got 15 bullets in this gun.

Mike!

I swear, if you don't start

talking to me, I'm gonna fill

your lying ass

full of some hot shit.

What's up?

He's a former ganja-smoking

motherfucker.

He ain't worth it.

Do you want some?

I'll bust your ass too!

So sad.

You're on your own, Jojo.

What's up, Jo?

But I'm gonna

tell you like this,

you splatter his ass,

he's no good to us.

Fuck that.

Fuck that. I'm not going

down over this shit.

I'm not going down for you

killing Jojo the tire man!

Okay, okay.

Fuck that! I don't want

no brain on me.

Shit gets in your clothes

and it stinks.

Okay.

MARCUS: Fuck that, Jojo!

I'll tell you what I know.

I don't know everything.

I know a little bit

about a little bit.

Tell him something, Jo.

There's three guys.

They got a laboratory...

No, no.

[GUN COCKS]

It's two guys. One guy died in

a plane crash last year.

There needs to be more!

No, it's one guy, really.

It's only one guy.

Don't fuck with me, Jojo.

This guy's an Einstein,

motherfucking

genius college boy,

fucking egghead motherfucker.

He got four eyes and glasses.

He got a rich mom and daddy

who live in Coconut Grove.

Where?

Tell him again, Jojo!

I'll tell you where it's at.

MIKE: You'd do that

for us, Jojo?

Yeah. I want to help.

Stick that gun down.

I got the address...

in the...

office.

Thanks. Why don't

you go grab that.

Cool.

You can go ahead.

Now?

Yeah, now's good.

Now is real good.

This is on me.

Why don't you pick out some

whitewalls for yourselves.

A little gift from me to you.

You made me think

you were going to

shoot me for a minute.

I was.

MARCUS: Man, when's

this punk-ass chemist

coming home?

JULIE: So...

this is a stakeout.

Not what I imagined.

Thought there'd be

more conversation.

Sorry, it's not up to your

usual high standards.

Is he always like

this on a stakeout?

What is it?

Too much caffeine?

Not enough sex?

MIKE: Ooh, I can't believe

she went there on you.

You don't know who

you talking to?

That's Mike Lowrey

over there.

King Ding-a-ling.

Go ahead, why don't you whip

it out for her, big boy?

Uh-huh,

right on your forehead.

Yeah.

Shut up.

There he is!

Let's go!

Let's go! Move!

I'm on him!

MARCUS:

What are our chances?

Well, remember Club Hell?

Worse.

That's it.

Call major backup.

I want motherfucking

swimming ducks in here.

Whoa, hold it.

Come on, man.

You know Sinclair got every

phone in the station tapped.

We gotta do that in person.

MARCUS: Shit. By the time

we deal with her bullshit,

every junkie in America

will be high off our bust.

Can we help you?

Hey, I staked out all night

in the back of that jalopy

too.

I think I earned a peek.

Hey, this is real cop stuff,

okay? This is not

Charlie's Angels.

All right, all right.

Can't hurt for

her to take a peek.

It can't hurt to look?

If they fire a goddamn

bullet over here, it'll hurt!

We have guests.

Have them followed.

Don't do anything, just

call me with their location.

This high-speed chase, ending

on a trestle near the River

Drive and 34th Street,

was captured two nights ago

by our news team.

Mom!

I thought you said

Daddy was in Cleveland.

Can't be in Cleveland.

MAN [ON TV]:

The officers

didn't like our cameras.

No, baby. Your daddy just

wishes he was in Cleveland.

MARCUS: I'm telling you,

this Fouchet, he's slick.

FBI, DEA, they got

nothing on him.

But he got to

deal with us today.

What's that?

That's the last time

they ever handcuff me.

That's what that is.

Good boy.

Excuse me, ma'am. Ma'am!

All visitors

must be announced!

Pisses me off!

Lady! Lady!

I guess when you guys

get back,

this'll all be over, right?

MARCUS:

You got that right.

Now don't worry, though.

You'll be set free.

Cut loose.

You'll be back

to your own life.

No more handcuffs.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'm out of here.

That's Chet with

my veggie burger.

Move your ass.

You got it.

Hi, can I help you?

Yes, I'm here to kill

my husband, Marcus Burnett.

And that'd be the tall one

or the short one?

The short one.

Thought so.

MARCUS: Is Chet

ringing the...

Oh, babe!

Um, Theresa. Uh...

Let me get your husband.

Marcus, get over here.

Okay. I know what

it looks like. Did you get

my message?

Huh?

Um...

Can you...

leave me and

Mrs. Burnett alone?

JULIE: Right.

Y'all met?

Baby...

I know... So let me...

As far as I'm concerned,

you can keep the wedding

ring in your pocket,

because you and

your little girlfriend...

Oh, shit.

...and Mike will all be

very happy living here.

Sweetie! Sweetie, honey!

[DOGS BARKING]

It's not even...

Uh-uh.

No, no, I saw it on the news.

That shit be

having a slant.

No, you're no longer

welcome to my house.

He didn't tell you I was

coming in the airport early?

Remember, I said call her,

that you was gonna bring me

to your place? Hold on.

Tell her about

what I told you, man.

You were gonna

bring me here...

Julie!

All right.

Ain't even going to...

You know, no.

We're not arguing about this.

Okay. I'm raising my...

All right... Baby!

Believe me,

we wanted to tell you.

You know what?

It really doesn't

matter anymore,

Marcus... Mike, Kojak,

whatever your name is, okay?

Aside from the fact,

I'll tell you something else,

if his wife can find us,

I'm a lot better off

on my own.

This...

I can see how it

would look a trip.

Uh-huh.

You see me, I run out,

I got a shirt open.

You see Mike,

he half-butt-naked.

Then you see the white girl.

So the shit looks like

we having one big

motherfucking orgy,

and ain't nobody humped.

I'm telling you.

Ain't nobody doing none

of that.

It's not what it

looks like, okay?

Hear what I'm saying.

Baby, she's a

material witness.

That...

That's real!

Baby, Theresa, listen.

It was orders.

Listen, it was orders.

Julie, can I talk to you?

Can you stop so I can

talk to you, please?

Enough with

the smooth shit, Mike.

It's not going

to work anymore.

I don't care what you say!

Duck!

Julie, get down!

Get down!

[SCREAMS]

Get out!

JULIE: Mike!

911!

Yeah. 911? Yeah. Chet here.

Go upstairs and take

this! Take it!

Don't worry.

I'll keep everybody

calm until my backup arrive.

I love you, Marcus.

Shit, I forgot to give

them the address!

CASPER:

Go, go, go!

Watch it! Watch it!

Keep going!

Get her in!

[JULIE SCREAMING]

Move!

It's okay.

I'm with the police.

It's cool.

You look great.

Drive!

Don't ever say

I wasn't there for you.

HOWARD: What is it

with you guys?

How come it always has to be

good news/bad news?

[PHONE RINGING]

You know exactly

where the dope is,

but you lose

our only witness.

I just don't get it!

RUIZ: Lowrey, pick up

your phone!

Lowrey.

FOUCHET: Hi, Mr. Lowrey.

I'm keeping your

sweet little friend

for four hours,

until I make my deal.

And I will make my deal.

I just put

a bullet in the chemist

who fucked with my timetable.

The other one is for the girl.

Okay?

Son of a bitch!

That twisted motherfucker

just shot one

of his employees.

Says if we don't back up,

he's gonna kill Julie.

HOWARD: Not now.

I told you to

play by the rules.

Don't do this

to me now.

I'm on the verge

of solving this case!

You turned South Beach

into a war zone.

I've finally got the

authority to shut you down.

As of today, you're

all reassigned.

All right, this guy is

painting me into a corner.

Look. He's gonna

kill the girl anyway.

We won't let her die.

And we're not walking away

from this bust, I don't give

a shit what she says.

So the deal goes

down in four hours.

That means you guys

got two hours to find them.

It's time to get lucky.

Go do what you got to do.

MIKE: Look, Fletcher, you

kind of told us this thing

would move a little quicker.

Hey, man, it's not that easy,

okay? If it was that easy,

you guys would be doing it.

Hey, man. Work your magic.

You say you're

a computer whiz.

Hey, man.

Back up off me, okay?

I'm doing an illegal favor

for you.

Okay, this is what I got

put in jail for in the first

place. So you back up off me.

Man, you don't sit your lanky

ass down, bottom line,

I will knock you the fuck out!

What the fuck is

wrong with you?

Can you have a seat?

You said you'd

get me out of jail.

And I wasn't lying, Fletcher.

Cops are so dumb.

Look, it's coming up.

Remember, you promised

to get me out.

Eddie Dominguez.

There it is. Voila.

MIKE: Girlfriend?

FRANCINE: I was New Year's Eve

and my ex-boyfriend Eddie,

and this French guy,

they took some really

horrible pictures of me.

And they said

that they'd put them up on the

bulletin board at

my kid's school,

unless I gave them a lot

of narcotics information.

But I never...

I never gave them you

or the girl.

Look, they got the girl.

We need to get them now.

Because if we don't, they're

gonna kill her. How do you

make contact?

I have their

mobile-phone number.

I know, I'm sorry. Listen.

Mike, I'll make it up to you.

I will.

I'll do anything you want.

We don't have a lot

of time. Let's go.

You have such sexy

ears, you know that?

I want to lick them.

[PHONE RINGS]

Yeah.

Can I speak to Romeo?

No, there ain't no Romeo here,

asshole. Who you laughing at?

Now this cell phone will keep

triangulating him, no matter

where he goes.

We'll watch this on this

map until he stops.

MAN [OVER RADIO]:

Sector 2-3-4.

TECHNICIAN:

The signal's still strong.

We still have a lock.

Thank you.

Lucy was the queen, baby.

Think about it.

Lucille Ball was a bimbo.

What are you talking about?

Desi was the whole

brains behind it.

How could you say that?

What do you mean

how can I say that?

Take the bongos away,

he's nothing.

It's conga,

don't be so stupid.

MIKE: Yo, fellas,

what's up?

RUIZ: The fucking

pencil squad.

Hey, what, you get us

assigned to traffic duty?

No, this is real.

We got something for you.

This shit could

get you killed.

Let's go.

MAN: Here we go!

It's Conrad.

I'm calling in a favor.

TECHNICIAN:

Eastbound

towards 135th Street.

Northeast, keep going

northeast.

If I'm wrong about this,

you can fire my ass.

This is what I need,

I need a SWAT team,

helicopters.

We're calling all cars here,

baby. Only I don't know

where we need them.

Very nice car you got there.

Oh, yeah.

That's my toy.

I'm taking it with me

for my collection.

And how about

the wire transfers?

Two wire transfers

to your banks,

totaling 180 million dollars.

And 20 in cash.

CASPER: Damn.

This has been a shitty week.

MAN: Getting full integration

on that signal.

Yeah, we're on

the airfield now.

You know what, I bet it's up

in the old hangar section.

MAN: Let's bring it up!

Pick it up!

Deposit

confirmation requested.

90 million,

Geldersbank of Zurich.

No easy approach.

MARCUS: No time.

Fuck the backup.

We gotta go now.

Not a problem.

What, do you got an itch?

I'd love to scratch it.

Scratch this.

I'll scratch whatever

you want me to,

you blue-eyed bitch.

Thank you.

You guys sure you

want to do this?

Hey, look, let's go!

Tuck in your skirt.

Come on!

My shit always

works sometimes!

This is the best you can

buy. It's been very nice

doing business with you.

Oh, shit.

MAN: Fouchet, it's a setup!

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

If I get killed,

I'm fucking you up!

Goddamn it, go, go, go!

Go, goddamn it!

Okay, okay.

My God!

[YELLING]

Julie!

Oh, motherf...

Get down!

Shit!

You forgot your boarding pass!

[SCREAMING]

HENCHMAN: You motherfuckers!

What's up?

Oh, shit!

[GROANING]

[CAR STARTS]

[GUNSHOT]

Mike, let's go!

Mike, get in the car!

Get in! Come on!

Let's go! Get in!

JULIE: Get in the car,

goddamn it!

Get in!

This shit's going to blow!

JULIE: Get up!

Oh, shit! Please, catch that

motherfucker, he shot me.

He shot you, he shot me!

You all right?

I'm fine. I just had a little

run-in with your friend Jim

Brown over here, but I'm fine.

He steals our shit,

kidnaps Julie,

shoots at my wife.

We beating him down!

Marcus, I just got

one question for you, bro.

How the hell you

gonna leave my ass

at a gunfight to

go get the car?

You have got to shut up

and let him drive, okay?

Seem like that gunshot

wound has improved

your driving skills.

You got the right

to remain silent.

Anything you say

can and will be

used against you

in a court of law.

Yo, man,

what the fuck are you doing?

Getting it out the way.

Just punch it, man!

Punch it! Go!

This car's faster.

This is a faster fucking car!

It's gonna be one or the

other, baby! It's gonna be

him or it's gonna be us!

You better fucking win,

that's all I know!

You better win!

You better win!

Now that's how you

supposed to drive!

From now on,

that's how you drive!

[GROANING]

Freeze!

He ain't even

worth killing, man.

MIKE: Freeze!

Fouchet. I bet when

your punk-ass woke

up this morning,

you didn't think about

5:00 you'd have a hole

in your leg, did you?

You couldn't kill me,

you chickenshit, could you?

Oh, no. I could.

You're talking like it's over.

I was just pausing.

See, I'm starting to get the

hang of this whole marksman

shit, you know what I mean?

That shooting them from

30 yards while they running

away, no, that's not it.

Here's where it is,

right here.

Point blank,

up close and personal.

Mike.

That's what I'm talking about.

Would you do it?

MARCUS: Mike, step off.

Do it. Do it!

Do it!

It's over.

He's a joke.

He's a motherfucking joke.

MARCUS: I ever tell you

I love you, man?

MIKE: Yeah, you know you

always be getting emotional

after gunfights.

MARCUS: Just because

I'm glad we survived.

Shit.

What you talking about?

I love you too, man.

Don't be looking at me.

I said, yeah, I love you.

I said that shit.

You my boy, man.

MIKE: No, no, you like

my brother, man.

JULIE: So, what am I?

Oh, man...

Julie, sweetie, you...

You're a little dangerous.

See, you like a magnet

for random gunfire.

But you're all right.

You're cool.

You're down.

So, what's next?

No, no. See,

there ain't gonna be no next.

Whoa, Marcus, Marc...

Come on, man.

You wanted

Mike Lowrey,

you got him.

Right here.

That's Mike.

Old Mike Lowrey.

I'm going home to my wife

to get my quality time.

Marcus, why don't you

stop playing, man?

I been beat three times

since we been out here.

I'm cool, man,

I don't need no help.

Please, back up.

Don't need no help.

I don't know why you're going

home to your wife.

You got shot in your leg,

your dick don't work.

JULIE: Marcus, do you

have the keys?

MARCUS: Mike wanted me to go

to this gunfight, then...

Well, then

there was this witness...

My man!

Oh, I'm sorry.

My man, let me out of here.

I don't got the keys.

What do you mean,

why wouldn't you have keys?

Marcus, I thought you

said you love me!

Show me love!