Back to the Outback (2021) - full transcript

Tired of being locked in a reptile house where humans gawk at them like they're monsters, a ragtag group of Australia's deadliest creatures plot a daring escape from their zoo to the Outback, a place where they'll fit in without being judged for their scales and fangs. Leading the group is Maddie, a poisonous snake with a heart of gold, who bands together with a self-assured Thorny Devil lizard Zoe, a lovelorn hairy spider Frank, and a sensitive scorpion Nigel. But when their nemesis Pretty Boy, a cute but obnoxious koala unexpectedly joins their escape, Maddie and the gang have no choice but to take him with them. So begins a hair-raising and hilarious road trip across Australia, as they are pursued by a zookeeper Chaz and his adventure-seeking mini-me.

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["Hello World" by Evie Irie playing]

♪ Hey ♪

[seagulls cawing]

♪ Hello, world, this is me ♪

♪ Girl on fire, baby, take a seat ♪

♪ I'll be what you want
But never what you need ♪

♪ I really like the skin on me
'Cause it fits me ♪

♪ I've been learning to fly
Above everything ♪

♪ Come with me, we can ride
'Cause we're still waiting for wings ♪

♪ Hello, world ♪

♪ Hello, hello... ♪



[man over PA] Welcome
to the Australian Wildlife Park,

home to the cutest animals in the world.

We're here! Look at them all!

Whoa! [chuckles]

Mummy, Mummy, can I please have
one of these? Please?

- [kid 1] Aw, baby bilbies!
- [purring]

Can I take one home?

Take my picture! Take my picture!

- Oh my gosh! It's Pretty Boy!
- [kids screaming excitedly]

- [kid 2] Yay! Pretty Boy!
- [all cheering]

[kids] Aw.

- [screams]
- [cameras clicking]

Okay, folks, just give the little fella
some air, would ya?

He's a bit tuckered out.



But his webcam is on 24-7,

so you can see him anytime
on the Pretty Boy app.

- [kids] Yay!
- [whimpering]

[kid 3] We love you!

- [kids] Bye!
- [kid 4] Bye, Pretty Boy!

[sighs] I wanna go see the ugly animals.

Dolores, you come back here!
Those creatures are dangerous.

I'm not afraid
of some stupid, smelly, ugly... [gasps]

[dramatic music playing]

[hissing]

[snarling]

[growling]

- [water flowing]
- [gasps]

[roaring]

[screaming]

[indistinct chatter on monitor]

[crocodile growling]

[chittering]

What's going on?

- Did Jackie scare another kid?
- [buzzing]

[munches, gulps]

Yep.

[growling]

[laughing] She's such a ham.
The show hasn't even started yet.

- She didn't bite anyone, did she?
- Nah.

Just gave some whiny kid a bit of a scare.

Probably the first time
she's seen a croc close-up.

Wait till they get a peep
at Maddie. [laughs]

- [horn blaring]
- Showtime, guys.

Do they have to blast that horn?
Why can't they play panpipes?

You're a deadly scorpion, Nigel.
Forget the panpipes.

[sighs] I hate showtime.

Should we wake Maddie
and tell her what it's like out there?

Nah. Let the poor thing sleep.
She'll know soon enough.

[door opens]

- Aw, not the pincers!
- Ugh! Could they at least warm 'em up?

Righto, guys, grab some glass.

- Mmm.
- [Nigel sighs]

Oh, stop. Please!
I'm ticklish. Please stop!

Hey, hey, hey!
Watch the spikes! That's soft tissue!

Good luck, Maddie.

[ominous music playing]

[switch clicks]

G'day, gorgeous.

[slithering]

[hissing]

Hi, Chaz.

How's my special girl?

Ready to get out there
and meet your public?

Yes. [chuckles]

And I know you can't understand me,
but I'm gonna make you so proud out there.

You call that a smile? Come on,
where are those fabulous fangs?

[hissing]

Maddie, those people are gonna go nuts
when they see you.

So let's get out there
and show the world how beautiful you are.

[giggles]

- [crowd cheering]
- They're horrible. They're disgusting.

They're the deadliest creatures
on the planet.

But have no fear.

'Cause they're guarded by the toughest
and bravest hero in the whole world.

He puts the Aussie in awesome.

The wonder from Down Under.

He's my dad, Chaz Hunt.

[crowd cheering]

[rock music playing]

[whistling]

- [purring]
- [gasps]

Thanks, Chazzie.

I don't know about being a hero, folks,

but the ol' chip off the block's right
about one thing.

These animals are deadly.

Step back, son. Step back.

‘Cause it's time to meet Jackie,
the saltwater crocodile.

[growling]

This beast from the billabong
could swallow you whole.

But not on my watch!

[scattered screams]

[snarling]

Come and get me, you ugly monster!

- [Chaz] Come on. Easy!
- [gasps] Papa!

- [Chaz] I'll take her from here, son.
- [growling]

[grunting]

Easy. Whew! Crikey!

That was tougher than tackling
a Tasmanian tiger off a tucker box.

It's not just the big critters
you gotta look out for.

- Chazzie, bring out the creepy crawlies.
- Here ya go, Dad!

In this box
is one of Australia's deadliest creatures.

- And he's no bigger than my hand.
- [crowd gasps]

Sting, sting. Ouch, ouch.

Grr. Grr.

Not scary enough? How'd you like
to hold this hairy little beauty,

a venomous funnel web spider!

[growls]

[Chaz] He's extra toey right now because
it's funnel web spider mating season,

and he's the only one in captivity.

I can't believe he just told them that.

You have been a bit tense lately, Frank.

Hang about!
What's this disgusting thing under my hat?

Ugh! Your face?

[Chaz] A thorny devil lizard!

Ew.

But by far, the deadliest creature
on this planet is the taipan snake.

There is no creature
more deadly, more venomous.

Now stand back, folks.

I trained her myself
the moment she came out of the egg.

Please let them love me.

Oh no, set the bar lower, Maddie.

Like. Please like me.
Liking would be fine,

and like could become love,
and like would be terrific. [chuckles]

- Break a leg, Maddie!
- She doesn't have any legs.

She can borrow one of mine.

- [Chaz] So prepare to meet...
- [crowd gasps]

- ...Medusa!
- [crowd cheering]

[cameras clicking]

Oh, the sun! [gasps]

Oh my gosh. Thank you. Ah!

It's so amazing finally meeting you all.

Um, I... I've never even seen
the sun before. [chuckles]

Now show 'em that beautiful smile.

- [hissing]
- [crowd gasps]

Well, didn't I warn you, folks?
She is a cold-blooded killer!

Wait, what?

- [crowd screaming]
- [Chaz] Look at those hideous fangs!

"Hideous"? But you... you said...

Hear that horrible hiss?
That means she's about to attack!

- Look at her!
- [hissing]

[crowd screams]

Just one drop from this snake's venom
can kill 100 people

in less than ten seconds.

- [crying]
- [hissing]

Get that monster away from my son!

"Monster"?

Righto! Back in your box!

- Get in there, you ugly monster!
- [Chaz chuckles] Good one, son!

But I'm not a monster, am I?

[crowd cheering]

[Chaz over PA] The park
is now closing, folks,

but don't forget to tune in
to the Pretty Boy app

to watch
everyone's favorite koala go to bed.

Night night, little guy. Sleep tight.

["Zou Bisou Bisou"
by Gillian Hills playing]

[yawning]

Bonne nuit, Pretty Boy. [blows kiss]

- [grunts]
- [crowd roaring]

- Aw. [groans]
- [bell dings]

[man] This is Mission Control
patching you through to Pretty Boy now.

Aw.

["Zou Bisou Bisou" continues playing]

[song ends]

[groaning] Ow!

- [Nigel gasps] Oh!
- [groans]

[grunts]

[door closes]

- Are you okay, Maddie?
- [door opens]

Get down, you crazy croc.

[snarling]

- [blows raspberry, screams]
- [laughing]

Be careful, Jackie.
They don't know you're kidding.

Ah! They love it!

Besides, keeps me young.

And how are my babies tonight?

Maddie! I almost forgot.
Today was your first show. How'd it go?

Aw. That bad, huh?

Oh, honey.

Look at me. Come on.
Show Auntie Jackie that beautiful face.

[sniffling] I'm not beautiful.

I'm a monster.

[laughs] Because a few humans screamed?

They were terrified, Jackie.

I... I made them cry.

So? Have some fun with it. I do.

That's not who we really are.
Frank, who are you?

Australian funnel web,
Hadronyche cerberea.

[laughs] Not the label on your cage, love.
In your heart. What's your true passion?

[sighs] Interpretive dance.

[laughing]

What? Why is that so funny, Zoe?

I thought you needed a partner
to be a dancer.

Don't be mean! It's not Frank's fault

that it's mating season,
and he can't get a date.

Oh my God. Please, can everybody
just stop talking about that?

I'm single by choice! By choice, people!

And Nigel... Nigel just wants
everything to be beautiful.

I have a horror of beige.

[Jackie] And Zoe's so smart,

she's always figuring out
clever ways to escape.

And as for you, you can...

- Kill 100 people in ten seconds!
- [Zoe] Seriously?

Uh, I was just complimenting
her ruthless efficiency.

Not helping, Frank.

You can be whoever you want.

So who cares
what a bunch of silly humans think?

But... but Chaz said that they'd love me.
He said I was special.

And you are special.

No, not in that way,

not like him.

["Tous les visages de l'amour (She)"
by Charles Aznavour playing]

[cooing]

- Ugh. Gross.
- I hate him.

I'd love a snuggle.

Uh, I mean, boo.

People love him.
They line up for hours just to hug him.

No one's ever gonna wanna hug me.

Unless you threaten them
with your insatiable bloodlust.

- Frank!
- It's just a pitch.

Aw. You know what you need?

- A nice bedtime story to cheer you up.
- Yay!

Now you kids were brought here
when you were just babies,

so you wouldn't remember anything
about the outback.

Oh, I do, I do. I mean, not much
but, uh, just a song my mum used to sing.

- Why don't you sing it to us now?
- And maybe Frank can dance!

[kissing]

Uh, maybe Frank needs help.

It... it... it's a twig. I know that.

But try telling my heart.

[Maddie] ♪ Sleep, little one ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Your body's cooling with the night ♪

♪ Let your worries slip away ♪

♪ Tomorrow is a brand-new day ♪

- [all] Aw.
- [Jackie] Aw, that's beautiful, hon.

Your mum must've loved you very much.

[sighs] I wish I'd known her.

Well, can't say I ever met her,

but before I came here,
I visited a lot of places in the outback.

- What was your favorite place?
- [Jackie] Oh boy, that's a tough one.

- She tells us every night, Nigel.
- Shh.

I think my favorite place is
the mountains where I grew up.

- I knew it! I knew she was gonna say that.
- She says it every night!

[Jackie] They're
the most beautiful mountains in the world.

Tall as the sky!

- [Nigel gasps] What color?
- [Jackie] Red as a bushberry.

Except at sunset, when they turn
the true color of the outback.

- [Nigel] Burnt sienna.
- [Jackie] That's right.

And that's the place
where all of you come from.

And I know that one day

you're gonna find your way
back to those mountains

and meet your families.

Now go to sleep, my babies.

[yawning]

[Jackie] First show's
always the hardest, hon.

It gets easier. I promise.

[seagulls cawing]

[Chazzie] Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

["9 to 5" by Dolly Parton playing]

- Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
- [hissing]

[back cracking]

Wake up, snakey! Wake up!

♪ Tumble outta bed
And I stumble to the kitchen ♪

♪ Pour myself a cup of ambition ♪

♪ And yawn and stretch
And try to come to life... ♪

[blow-dryer whirring]

[sneezing]

- It's Pretty Boy!
- [kids cheering]

[boy] Mom, the koalas!
I want one. You promised me.

- Pretty Boy!
- Look, it's Pretty Boy!

[growling]

- Whoa!
- [spraying]

- [sneezing]
- [crowd gasps]

[snarling]

♪ It's all taking and no giving ♪

♪ They just use your mind... ♪

Aw.

[giggling]

- [hissing]
- [crying]

[Chaz] Back in your box!

- [growls]
- [screams]

Stay still, ya mean old croc!

- Ahh!
- [kids laughing]

- Sting, sting! Ouch, ouch!
- [both gasp]

- [gasps, cries]
- [Chaz] Back in your box!

[muffled cheering]

[sniffling]

[sobbing]

[sighs]

[tourist] Help!
There's a kid in the crocodile pool!

- [crowd screaming]
- [gasping]

- [screaming]
- [snarling]

[screaming]

[man] Croc on the loose!

- [Chazzie] Daddy!
- Chazzie!

Jackie!

Help me! [screaming]

She's gonna eat me!

What? No! I just want to help.

Daddy! Ahh!

Oh no! Oh!

Ah! She's going for him!

[ominous music playing]

Get that monster away from my son!

[all gasp]

[screams, grunts]

Don't worry, love. Your dad's on his way.

Ahh!

[yelling] Ahh!

[siren wailing]

What's happening?
Why are there sirens? I hate sirens.

- Maybe the park's on fire.
- [gasps] Maybe Pretty Boy died.

Nah. I've seen the plans for his funeral.
There's a choir.

It's Jackie.

They thought she was attacking Chaz's son,
but she was just trying to help.

[Chaz] Put a muzzle on her!
Get her out of here!

- [grunting]
- Down! Down!

- Leave her alone!
- [banging on glass]

[grunts] She didn't do anything!
She was just trying to help! Jackie!

- Maddie.
- I've gotta get outta here. [pants]

- Let me out!
- Maddie!

[panting]

[breathes deeply]

I'll take a closer look, okay?

[dings]

[thunder rumbling]

[somber music playing]

Oh, Jackie.

[door closes]

[engine starts]

[music continues]

[thunder rumbling]

[sniffling]

[softly] No.

[lights shutting down]

[panting]

- [sniffles, whimpers]
- [footsteps approaching]

[gasps]

It wasn't my fault, Dad! Honest!
I was just trying to be like you.

Hey. I'm not mad at you, Chazzie.

You're... you're not?

It's never easy
seeing an animal get taken away like that.

Look, that croc had it coming.

I mean, these creatures are killers, son.
Never forget it.

I was so proud of you out there.

Not every kid can stare down the gullet
of a two-ton killing machine

and come away with dry daks.
That takes guts.

Thanks, Dad.

Now, how about a bedtime story?

Where were we?

Chapter four. [clears throat]

"How I Fought a Giant Python
and Lost Your Mother."

"The swamp was steamy
with the stench of death

as we began our honeymoon."

"I paddled the canoe upstream..."

[somber music playing]

Who's gonna tell us stories now?

[Frank] Um, Maddie?

Tell us about the mountains.

[somber music continues]

[Maddie] No.

Why not?

Because I'm done just talking about them.

I say we go out
and see them for ourselves.

- [all] What?
- Break out of here tonight.

- [whimpers]
- Are you nuts?

Those mountains are in the outback!
That's 500... 500... 1,500... nine miles away.

No, no, no. I can't leave my glass box.
The glass box is me.

- I'm the box. [hyperventilating]
- [Frank] Breathe, Nigel. Breathe.

[sighs]

Well, we're down to three.

Guys, listen to me.

I know it's scary,
but do you want to end up like Jackie?

Spend your whole lives
being put on display like freaks?

Because that's what
we are in here. Monsters.

But out there, we're someone's kid,
someone's brother, sister...

family.

[inspirational music playing]

- Out there, we can be...
- Dancers?

Ourselves.

Zoe, climb out and unlock our cases.

Tonight, we're going back to the outback.

[adventurous music playing]

["bad guy" by Billie Eilish playing]

- ♪ I'm the bad guy ♪
- [can clatters]

♪ Duh ♪

[music stops]

[metal screeching]

[Nigel grunting]

[grunting]

Oh! [sighs]

["bad guy" resumes]

[snoring]

♪ I'm the bad guy ♪

- [Maddie yelps]
- [Frank] Ow!

[Zoe giggles]

[chuckling]

[nervously] Ah!

♪ I'm only good at being bad, bad ♪

I think we're gonna make it.

Don't say that! Every time
someone says that, something always...

- [clanging]
- Who's doing that?

Look!

[clanging continues]

[all] Pretty Boy?

- Hi, sorry. Do you mind not doing that?
- What?

[softly] We're trying to escape.
Someone might hear you.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize.
- That's okay. Just...

- So you want me to stop doing this?
- Yes! Stop!

[yelling] Sorry!
Can't hear you over all this noise!

They'll see us!

Please!

We're just trying to get to the outback
so we can find our families.

[gasps] Oh.

Wow! That is so inspiring.

Families are
very important to me too. [laughs]

You're a snake!
You're not gonna get five yards.

And anyway, what kind of family

is gonna want
a bunch of ugly bugs like you?

[gasps] You're really mean.

But he's so adorable.

You're right. I should do it like this.

[cutesy voice] Over here, Mr. Policeman!

Some animals are trying to kill me!
I'm in distress. Koala in distress!

Stop that! Grab him!

Go ahead and try. Snakes can't climb.

- [yelps] Snakes can climb! Get away!
- [Maddie] Please be quiet!

Get your scaly mitts off me.
Let me go! Help!

Please! Please be quiet.

I can't die yet! I'm not even 27! He...

- [gurgling]
- [stinger pops out]

[Pretty Boy squeaking]

[gasps]

[gurgling]

Ahh!

- [all] Ahh!
- [thuds on ground]

Oh no! I killed Pretty Boy.
I've murdered a celebrity.

No, you didn't.
Your venom only knocks 'em out, Nigel.

He'll wake up in a minute.
He might have a headache.

Then we'll have to get him out of here.
Count of three. One, two, three!

[all] Whoa!

- [gasps]
- [Zoe grunts]

- [grunts]
- Ooh!

Oh, we're free! We're free!

I feel so liberated, so virile.

But we're not safe yet. Hurry.

- [Pretty Boy snoring]
- [sighs]

- Look at that.
- [Frank] Wow!

[Nigel] It's Jackie's mountains!

We made it!

[all] Yay!

- Um, uh, I think that's the city.
- [opera music playing]

- [sighs]
- Sorry, yeah, that makes more sense.

[chuckles] It felt too easy, right?
But we're on our way.

And somewhere beyond those lights
is the outback.

I hate to break it to you,

but there's a lot of water
between us and those lights.

And none of us know how to swim,
so how are we gonna...

- What's wrong with Frank?
- [Frank grunting]

- Frank, what are you doing?
- I dunno.

[spluttering] It's like
now that we're in the wild,

some kind of instinct's taken over.

[gasps] You mean...

Oh! Oh! I think it's a mating dance.

[grunting]

[disco music playing]

Okay, if he's gonna do that the whole way,
I'm taking the bus.

There's a bus?

- Guys, focus.
- [Frank blabbering]

We need to find a way across the harbor.

- Oh! Does anyone know a friendly turtle?
- Or we could find a raft.

That's exactly what I was gonna say.

What's a raft?

- Anything made of wood.
- [snoring]

What do we do with Satan's teddy bear?

[Maddie] Ugh, we have to take him with us,
or he'll sound the alarm again.

We can let him go when we get to the city.

I want my snuggly. Mmm.

Ugh! He's so furry and hot.

Come on.

[ship horn blowing]

Do you think you could've found a raft
that wasn't full of holes?

You said "made of wood."

Guys, guys, don't argue.
Look at us. We're on our way.

[chuckles] And check out the sky.
I've never seen the sky at night before.

- [Nigel] What are all those twinkly dots?
- I think they're called dandruff.

- "Dandruff"?
- Yeah.

You know that stuff that comes off humans
when they scratch their hair?

It floats up into the sky,
and it shines at night.

[Maddie and Nigel] Wow. Dandruff.

Oh, look,
what a pretty little sailing boat!

That's not a boat, Nigel. That's a...

[all] Shark!

Paddle! Paddle!

It's circling us.

[Zoe] Paddle in circles!

- [all] Ahh!
- [grunting]

What? What's going on?
Why is my bottom wet?

Are we getting colonics?

Just grab a leaf and paddle!

You koalanapped me, you psycho worm!

You snitched on us, you dirty little bear!

- Just you wait till...
- Bigger problems!

- [roaring]
- [all] Ahh!

[coughing]

Oh, sorry to scare you.
I get that reaction a lot.

It's the smile, isn't it?

You know, I took some acting classes,
did a few mime workshops.

But it's just not me, you know?

So I thought, "Hey,
stop trying to change who you are."

"Just be yourself, the face of death,

aka Jacinta."

- [mollusks] Hi!
- Ahh! [grunts]

Hey! Aren't you that snake
who can kill 100 people in ten seconds?

Oh. No, not really.

It's... it's more like 94, 95 tops.

But you've probably eaten
a lot more people than that, right?

Sorry. I don't know why I said that.
That was so inappropriate.

Nah, sounds about right.
Did you guys just escape from the park?

Yeah! How'd you know?

We get a lot of breakouts.
Last month, it was a dung beetle.

Duncan? I thought
he got released back into the wild.

The only place he got released was
into the belly of a seagull.

- [seagull cawing]
- Tragic. The one night I was off sick.

Ugh! Could you be any more self-obsessed?

Can everyone please focus on me for once?

Razor face, take me back to the park,
or I'll have your fins made into soup.

- "Razor face"?
- No, he didn't mean that.

And we're not going back to the park.
We're on our way to the outback.

Then you've come to the right place.
For I am... [whispers]...a secret agent.

Lethal and deadly.

- Designed to strike with stealth and...
- [all] Oh!

Sorry. Sorry.
Oh, now I'm making it worse, aren't I?

Oh, it's these tiny fins.
It's why I could never knit.

- I... I think we can just...
- No, no, no! No!

I really am an agent,
and I'm here to help.

See, I'm a member of... U.S.S.

- "Us"?
- No. U.S.S.

- "Ussss"?
- U.S.S.

- Ussss.
- Now you're doing too many. Just U.S.S.

- What?
- U.S.S., the Uglies Secret Society.

It's a gang
of sensitive, misunderstood animals.

In a world of cuddly koalas,
we are regarded as monsters.

Don't worry.
The U.S.S. has networks everywhere.

If you ever get into trouble,

just say the password,
and a member of U.S.S. will help.

- [whispering] What's the password?
- [whimpering]

[mollusks] Hey. "I'm ugly. You're ugly.
We should all be this ugly."

"Ugly is the new beautiful."

[all] What?

"I'm ugly. You're ugly.
We should all be this ugly."

"Ugly is the new beautiful."

- [all yelping]
- False alarm.

That's a really long password.

Yeah, um, I hate to rush.
I think we're sinking.

Oh, right! On it!

Let's get you guys
to the other side before the sun comes up.

That's when
the really scary creatures come out.

- What are they?
- [mollusks] Humans!

[man on radio] We need an urgent dispatch,
59372 at the Australian Wildlife Park...

Stone the crows, what's happened here?

[shoe squeaks]

They've gone, sir.

And look what they've done to Pretty Boy.

[gasps] Crikey!

[gasps] What are you gonna do, Dad?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, son.

I'm gonna go out there

and call Pest Control.

Pest Control?

- Aren't you gonna hunt 'em down yourself?
- Eh?

You know, like how you hunted those wolves
who ate those orphans?

Oh! Right. Yeah, yeah.
But well, they ate orphans, you know, so...

You said that snake
was the deadliest creature on the planet.

They're a menace to society, Dad,
and you're the only one who can stop 'em.

- [stomping feet]
- Please?

[inspirational music playing]

[sighs]

Pack your peashooter
and some clean undies, son.

[Chazzie, guards] Yay!

We got some deadly creatures to hunt.

Once you're through the city,
head for the Blue Mountains.

- They sound pretty. What kind of blue?
- Uh, kind of a smoky eucalyptus blue.

[Nigel] Like a cerulean or...

They're mountains, Nigel.
I'm sure we'll find them.

Thanks, Jacinta!

And remember, if you need help, contact...

[mollusks] U.S.S.

- Aw, what a sweetheart.
- [tires screeching]

- [horns blaring]
- [man] Hey, watch where you're going!

- [Zoe] A lot of humans.
- [Nigel] Maybe some of them are nice.

- They're gonna kill us.
- Right. Forgot that. Let's move on.

And I'd love to stay,

but I'm afraid I'm late
for my appointment with the real world.

Hey, watch it!

By the way,
you're never gonna get to the outback.

You should quit now before you get
your friends killed. [laughs]

- Later, losers!
- [scoffs] What a jerk!

Oh, but look at his cute little bottom.
Like it was knitted by angels.

["Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels"
by Todrick Hall playing]

♪ I don't dance, I work ♪

♪ I don't play, I slay ♪

♪ I don't walk I strut, strut, strut ♪

- ♪ And then sashay ♪
- ♪ Okay ♪

♪ What did that girl just say, girl? ♪

♪ Wave, wave, blow a kiss ♪

♪ Face, lips, eyes, nose
Camera, click, we pose... ♪

Yes, it's me. [clicks tongue]

It's good to be back.

So I've just been through a major trauma,

and I'm in desperate need of a sound bath
followed by a regular bath.

Could someone call my therapist Brenda
and get her to send the chopper?

- Timmy, get away from that thing!
- What? Timmy, it's me. It's Pretty Boy.

♪ Doobie, doobie, doo ♪

Look at me! I'm Pretty Boy!

[bystanders gasping, screaming]

[dramatic music playing]

[gasps] Rabies? I don't have rabies.
[chuckles nervously]

I'm Pretty Boy!
What are you doing with those umbrellas?

- [man 1] Quickly! Before it bites someone!
- I'm not gonna bite!

I've still got my Invisalign in! Look!

- He's going into spasms!
- [roaring]

[people screaming]

- [man 2] Kill him!
- Ahh!

[clanking]

[dogs barking in distance]

- Clear.
- [grunting]

- Ouch!
- Have you always been this spiky?

Have you always been this clueless?

- Who knew intimacy would be so painful?
- Shh. Come on, guys.

Don't worry. I know where I'm going.
Snakes have a built-in radar.

- That's bats.
- Oh.

- In that case, I am completely lost.
- Maybe we could ask Pretty Boy.

- [Pretty Boy screaming]
- [crowd yelling]

Help!

- Stop him!
- Get him!

[grunting] Save me.
They're trying to kill me.

[woman] They're the ones in the poster.

[man 1] The zombie koala's got
a scorpion and a snake!

- [man 2] Get back!
- [man 3] Taipans are vicious killers.

- That's not true!
- Yes, it is! Take her!

- What?
- You'll get a huge reward! Ooh!

What do we do?

Ah! Dear God, don't let me die
with ugly animals.

[gasps] The Uglies Secret Society!
What's the password?

Ooh. Um...

- Something about ugly is bad...
- No. Ugly isn't bad.

No, ugly is good but...
No, that's not right, is it?

Kill them!

- [crowd yelling]
- Just hurry up!

I'm ugly. You're ugly.
We should all be this ugly.

Ugly is the new beautiful!

Crush 'em!

Everybody, step back!

- [all gasp]
- [man 4] But what happened to Pretty Boy?

[ominous music playing]

He... hello? [echoing]

Is anyone there?

- [squeaking]
- [Zoe gasps]

[both gasp]

Are you friendly chipmunks?

[whimpering]

[hissing]

- I don't think they're chipmunks.
- [all whimpering]

- Oh.
- [Frank] Redbacks.

Don't anybody move.

Their venom is ten times
as deadly as mine.

Oh.

Oh, I've never been
so ar... aroused in my life.

Keep it together, Frank.

[spider hissing]

[enchanting music playing]

Um... [chuckles] Are you with...

The Uglies Secret Society?

Yes.

Nice pumps. Aren't you that snake who...

Can kill 100 people in ten seconds?
Yep, that's me!

[laughing] So not tired of hearing that.

Impressive. Welcome to U.S.S.
I'm Legs Luciano, capo of the east coast.

I'm Frank. What are you doing later?

Eating my husband.

And after that? Oh!

How did you find us?

[whispering] Jacinta gave us the password.

Good agent. Tricky smile.

- Can you help us get through the city?
- [Legs] Sure.

And don't worry. Everyone here
knows what you've been through.

We've all been condemned by society,

driven into the sewers.
You're safe with us.

[all] Phew!

Except him. He's really attractive.
We're gonna have to kill him.

- [yelping]
- [spiders squeaking]

- But it's okay, Legs. He's with us.
- Very well.

But if he stumbles
into some flattering lighting,

I can't be held responsible.

I won't. I swear. I'll stick with Barry.

- It's Maddie.
- That's what I said.

- Why did you bring those humans after us?
- They think I'm deadly and disgusting.

They think I'm you.

You can't got back to the park.
I guess you're stuck with Barry.

Do I have a choice?

Yeah. You can go back outside
and get clubbed to death by your fans.

Eh, it's kind of a cool headline.

Okay. Let's go, ladies.
Stacy, Tina Q, you're backup.

I've never had a pretty friend before.
Can I call you PB?

- No.
- Can I wipe my bottom with your fur?

- What?
- Jeez, Nigel.

Why would you even say
something like that?

- I was joking! That was a joke. [chuckles]
- [Zoe] Was it, though, really?

Are we waiting for the valet?

No. A flush.

Okay. Sorry, what?

[water gushing]

Whoa!

[all screaming]

- [Pretty Boy] Ugh, gross!
- [Maddie] Yeah! Whoo!

[yells]

Not my beautiful fur!

[Maddie] Whoo-hoo!

[laughing] Yes! I'm flying!

Hey, look, I can swim! Whoo!

No. No, I can't.

[all whooping]

[screaming]

[Zoe] Whoo-hoo!

Look at me. I'm surfing.
Ha-ha! Check it out!

- Whoa!
- Go, Zoe!

Zoe, be careful. That pipe looks rusty.

[Pretty Boy] Whoa!

[whining]

Oh! [grunts]

Ugh!

[gasps] What's that? Is that an eyeball?
I'm pretty sure that's somebody's eyeball.

Ahh! I swallowed it!

[screaming]

[grunts]

[muffled scream]

[grunting] Ah!

Slimy scales! Ugh!

- Get your toilet-water fur off me.
- Get those fangs away from me.

- [whirring]
- [all screaming]

[screaming]

["Tous les visages de l'amour (She)"
playing]

[Frank retches]

- Oh, I feel sick.
- Ew!

I feel amazing!

[joyful music playing]

[all screaming]

[groaning]

[screams] Ugh! Look at my fur.
I have to call Martine.

- Martine?
- [all screaming]

Martine, I can't talk. I'm falling.

[screaming]

Oh brother!

- [buzzing]
- [all screaming]

[retches]

[gasps] Over there, Dad!

It's Chaz and Chazzie!

And a sale on outdoor furniture!

[tires screeching]

- Ow!
- Ouch!

[grunts]

- Dang it! We lost 'em!
- Hey. Don't worry, son.

I once captured ten Komodo dragons
using nothing more

than a pair of budgie smugglers
and some Vegemite. We'll get 'em.

["Mini Skirt"
by Juan García Esquivel playing]

They're gone.

Salut, darling.

- Shame on you for wearing fur.
- [screaming]

[whimpering] Ahh!

Agh!

- [panting]
- [horns blaring]

Huh?

- [Maddie] Pretty Boy!
- [Frank] What's he doing?

["Against All Odds (Take a Look
at Me Now)" by Phil Collins playing]

♪ Now take a look at me now ♪

♪ 'Cause there's just an empty space ♪

♪ But to wait for you is all I can do ♪

♪ And that's what I've got to face ♪

♪ Take a good look at me now ♪

- ♪ 'Cause I'll still be standin' here ♪
- [sobbing]

♪ You coming back to me ♪

[singing along] ♪ Is against the odds ♪

♪ It's the chance I've got to take... ♪
[sobbing]

[reporter] A moving tribute

by Pretty Boy's corecipient
of the Nobel Peace Prize, Phil Collins.

The heroic koala passed away
after contracting rabies

from a group of deadly animals
still at large

and believed to be extremely dangerous.

Coming up next,
Giggles, the world's cutest quokka.

What?

That's my snuggly. He stole my snuggly!

I know where you live, Giggles!
You're dead meat!

Maddie, what are you doing?
Just leave him.

Zoe! Catapult!

Hmm. What's a cata...

[screaming]

- [horn blaring]
- [grunts]

[horn honking]

- Bye, Legs.
- We'll always have the sewers.

Good luck!

[horns blaring]

Dad!

- Guys, grab hold of me!
- [all screaming]

[whimpers, grunts]

Where'd they go?

There!

Dang!

Oh well, we gave it our best shot,
Chazzie. Maybe we should...

Hack into the mainframe
and get an ID on that license plate?

- Eh?
- [beeping]

It's a catering van
from the Western Plains School.

But we can't...

Get to that school first
unless we run every red light?

Well, yeah, but...

You're the coolest dad in the world!

Come on!

[ice cream truck music playing]

[tires screeching]

- [tires screech]
- [music warps and stops]

What is this place?

I dunno, but at least there are no humans.

[Frank] Except for him,
and he doesn't look very well.

- [grunting] Ahh!
- Hey. Check this out.

[male voice] ♪ When a man loves a woman... ♪

What's going on? What's that sound?

I think it's coming
from behind that fish tank.

But what if it's a human?

No human can sing like that.

[male voice] ♪ If she is bad
He can't see it ♪

[Maddie] It's the voice of an angel.

♪ She can do no wrong ♪

[flies buzzing]

♪ He'd turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down ♪

[all] Ew.

Actually, those warts are
a really lovely and rare shade of topaz.

Oh. Hey there, guys. I didn't see you.

Well, don't just stand there.
Come on in. Pull up a chair. Chill.

[burps]

Wow. This day just keeps getting uglier.

Hi. I'm Maddie, and these are my friends,
Frank, Zoe, Nigel, and, um, Pretty Boy.

And I'm Doug. Put it there.

I would literally rather gnaw off
my own paw.

[sighs] And that beautiful creature
in the next cage

is my special lady, Doreen.

- So she's taken?
- Hi.

- [buzzing]
- [yawning]

Ugh! Blech! I'm hit! Oh God!
That was my lip. Am I gonna die?

Sorry if we don't get up,
but as you can see, we're prisoners.

Locked up by a human.

- Did he have a mustache?
- It was a lady, but yes, I think so.

I can still taste it.

[gagging] Toad spit!

That's terrible! I'm so sorry.

Humans are the most horrible creatures
on the planet.

[gagging]

[Doug] Maddie, don't be too hard on them.
They do try their best.

[Maddie] Don't make excuses
for them, Doug. They're awful.

[yelps] My eye!
Why does this keep happening to me?

Um, Maddie?

Uh, if you could let us out, like, now,
we'd be so grateful.

[Zoe] Maddie? Quick word.

♪ When a man... ♪

Just playing thorny devil's advocate,

but maybe there's a reason
they've been locked in separate cages.

Zoe, they're cane toads
who love each other.

- Where's the harm in that?
- But...

- I mean, look at them!
- [blows kiss]

- [laughs]
- ♪ Good thing he's found ♪

Of course, we'll let you out.

- Dougy!
- Doreen!

[both moaning]

Aw.

Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew.

I am so lonely.

Ah, thank you, Maddie.
We'll never forget your kindness.

- If there's anything we can do...
- Well, we're on our way to the outback.

Could you tell us
how to get across the Blue Mountains?

Get away!

Nothing easier. Mmm.

The school buses are leaving for the day.

I'm sure one of them goes
to the mountains.

The children
would be happy to help. [burps]

They're such darlings. [chuckles]

- [kids yelling]
- [grunting]

[all gasp]

Ahh!

- [kid] Whoa!
- [grunts]

[ants squeaking]

[shudders] What was that sound?

- [all] Panpipes.
- [sniffing]

How are we gonna figure out
which one is the mountain bus?

Follow the blue bow.

I look like an alien.

Seriously, mate, they're not that bad.

I look like a monster.

What's so special about a blue bow?

That's not just blue.
That's cerulean with eucalypt highlights.

And notice the gumnut earrings.

She's got Blue Mountains couture
all over her.

Wow, Nigel, that's incredible.

- Let's go!
- [Pretty Boy] No!

That's it. I am done.

I have been kidnapped,
attacked by sharks and spiders.

I've been licked by a toad.

I haven't seen my therapist in two days.
I am not going...

- [stinger pops]
- [gurgling]

It's just easier.

[kid 1] See you tomorrow.

[kid 2] Come on. Let's go.

[kids playing]

- [kid 3] I'll text you later.
- [kid 4] All right.

[Pretty Boy groans]

No, no dessert for me please.

- Let's see the cheese trolley.
- [grunting]

[adventurous music playing]

[bus engine starts]

We're on the wrong bus!

[Nigel gasps] Look!

[tense music playing]

- I've got an idea.
- [grunting]

[Maddie] Whoo!

- We lost Pretty Boy.
- [Frank] Aw, gee, what a shame!

[all screaming]

[grunting]

- [Zoe] Yay! We did it!
- [Frank] We did it!

[dramatic music playing]

[snoring]

Aw, nuts!

[horn honking]

- [tires squealing]
- Stop! Stop! Oh!

Hi, kids. I'm Chaz Hunt.
We're looking for some deadly animals.

Tell us where they are, or I'll thump ya!

[gasps]

["ROAR" by G Flip playing]

♪ Run to the hills ♪

♪ Get to the top, feel all the thrills ♪

♪ And it's gonna be hard at times ♪

♪ But not too hard for me ♪

♪ I'm screaming ♪

♪ So the world can hear my roar ♪

♪ This feeling ♪

♪ No, my heart can't pound no more ♪

♪ I came, and I conquered
Now you'll hear me roar ♪

♪ I came, and I conquered
Now you'll watch me soar ♪

♪ I came, and I conquered
Now you'll hear me roar... ♪

[sighing] Ah!

Yeah. Yeah, now this is more like it.

Yeah, he's so much nicer
as a couch than a koala.

Oh, I hope I'm as happy in the outback
as I am right now.

Of course, you will be.
We'll be with our families.

What if we don't like our families?

Or... or if they don't like us?

Nigel can be very needy.

It's true. I can.

And what is a family?

None of us have ever had one before.
We don't even know what it means.

Um, maybe it just means being with people
who love you no matter what.

Oh. Sounds like us.

[sentimental music playing]

Ah.

Ah, it's nice up here, isn't it? Quiet.

And just that strangely familiar jeep
speeding towards us.

- [all gasp]
- [engine revving]

- [all] Chaz and Chazzie!
- Hmm? What?

Oh, finally! I'm saved!

Did you happen to bring
my leave-in conditioner?

Enemy at twelve o'clock, Dad!
Ram 'em off the road!

Let's not spit the dummy, son.
There are kids on that bus.

Rats!

- I'll take the wheel. You jump on top.
- What?

Good thing you taught me how to drive
a combat vehicle when I was six.

Or maybe we could just signal them
to pull over.

[laughs] Good one, Dad.

Hey! This is just like the time

you jumped off that chopper
onto the back of a charging rhinoceros.

[groaning]

Yeah, fine.

Get me closer, son.

I'm going in! Okay, steady. Steady, son.

[tires screeching]

Here! I'm over...

[indistinct chatter]

[kid 1 gasps]

- [kids] Aw.
- [suckling]

[kids] Ew.

- Hi.
- [kid 2] It's a snake!

[muffled screaming]

Tough crowd.

- Whoa!
- [kid 3] Snake!

Ah!

[tires screeching]

There's a spider on me!

- Ahh!
- [screaming]

Okay, sit down, kids.

I'm a trained animal events coordinator,

and I'm looking
for some very dangerous animals.

[footsteps approaching]

[foreboding music playing]

Oh! [whimpers]

No, Frank, no.

[gasps]

Ahh! [grunts]

[all gasp]

[gasps] Deadly.

- No, no. We're not like that. We just...
- Shh.

- He'll hear you.
- Huh?

- [zipping]
- [sniffing]

In case you kids are thinking
of helping these vermin...

let me remind you what they can do.

Once the most famous koala in the world.

He had 100 million fans in China alone.

- Hundred and twenty.
- Now he's dead.

I saw his lips move.

Murdered by those monsters.

At least we've still got Giggles.

[Pretty Boy] No!

Now, where are they?

He's just scared
'cause he thinks you're gonna bite him.

But I reckon you're just a bit lost, yeah?

Probably trying to get back
to the outback.

[chuckles] Deadly.

Thanks. You're pretty deadly too.

Good luck. Hey!

Hope you find your way home.

Aw, you made a human friend.

Guess they're not all like Chaz.

[Nigel] Hey, where's Pretty Boy?

Aw, poor guy!
He must've fallen off this treacherous...

- Whoa!
- [all screaming]

[screaming]

- [grunts]
- [all grunting]

Ooh! Sweet!

Like a tiny cloud filled with hate.

[groaning]

I just... A little bit more eucalyptus oil.

Get up. We've gotta keep moving.

- No.
- Snap out of it.

No, Giggles. They're my fans.
What? Meet the Pope? Hmm?

[gasps] Oh, it's you.

- We have to keep moving.
- No!

Please! Move!
[grunting] Chaz'll be here soon.

Good! I want to go home.

He threw you out of a bus.
He's not taking you home.

Besides, you'll have a new home
with all our families.

They're gonna love us!

[chuckling] You're a bunch
of creepy animals.

- No one is ever going to love you.
- [all gasp]

Why do you have to be so mean
all the time?

Uh, I'm sorry.

"It's so hard being a snake. Look at me!
Everybody hates me. Boo-hoo-hoo."

Because they do.
Because all they see is a killer.

"Oh, check it out, mate!
She can kill 100 people in ten seconds!"

How'd you like to spend your whole life
being treated like a freak?

I've got a webcam up my jacksie 24-7.

The whole world watches me
when I take a whiz.

That's different.
People love you. Your life's perfect.

So just 'cause I look perfect,
my whole life is perfect.

- Is that what you think?
- No, but...

I had one thing going for me, my looks.

And look what you've done to them.

I'm slightly less attractive
than I was before!

Oh brother!

I want to go home! [sobbing]

I want my snuggly.

I just... I want to have a massage
and to sleep for 17 hours.

[wailing]

Okay, look, I'm... I'm sorry
I took you away from the park.

But a... a cage with a snuggly
is still a cage.

At least out here, you know,
we're free to be whoever we want.

Haven't you ever wanted
to be more than just pretty?

[laughing hysterically]

More than... More than...

Where'd they go? Can you see 'em?

Nah. Too much bush, I'm afraid.
We'll never find 'em out here.

- [rock cracking]
- [screaming]

[grunting, screaming]

- [panting]
- [laughing hysterically]

- [gasps]
- [all screaming]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[panting]

Ahh! Get off! Get off me!
Get off me now! Get off me!

Wow! That was amazing, Dad! You got her!

Huh? I did?

[grunting]

I did! [chuckles] I got her!

- [all] Maddie!
- Run!

Never! I've always hated
your preference for beige.

- Guys, charge!
- [Zoe] Yahh! [grunts]

I saw that playing out a lot differently
in my mind.

[laughing] I got em, Chazzie!
I got 'em all. I... I actually did it!

I knew you would, Dad!

Who ya gonna call? Chaz Hunt.
What's the name again? Chaz Hunt.

Yeah, I think we got it.
About time you showed up. Take me home.

[grunts] Back off, you filthy has-been.

[grunts] "Has-been"?

- And as for you, you treacherous snake...
- [whimpering]

No. [gasps]

- Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing to her?
- Don't worry, Maddie.

- No.
- [Chaz] It's just a tranquilizer.

[groans] I can't believe
I'm about to say this.

- [Chaz] I'm gonna take you back alive.
- I'm ug... I'm ug... I'm... [blabbers]

Ugh! I'm ug...

Come on, just spit it out, Pretty Boy!

- [Maddie] No.
- [Pretty Boy] I'm ugly. You're ugly.

We should all be this ugly.
Ugly is the new beautiful! [echoing]

[rustling]

[rapid footsteps]

- [snarling]
- [screaming]

Ow! Chazzie!

Good on ya, Dad! You're a legend!

[screaming]

[snarling]

[grunting]

[screeching]

[roaring]

Wait. Aren't you Tasmanian devils?

That's us. This is my mate Lucifer,
Beelzebub. And I'm Dave.

So why aren't you in Tasmania?

Vacation. But always happy
to help out a fellow Ugly.

Oh, no, it's not for me.
I'm actually famous for my beauty.

Right. And I'm a French poodle.

- Are you okay, love?
- [sighs] Yes. Thanks, Dave.

Too easy. Boys, free the others.

[growling]

- [groaning]
- Ahh!

My bloomin' onions!

Help me, son! Throw me a rope!
I'm being attacked by savage predators!

This is just like
the time you had to climb...

- Just throw me the damn rope!
- [snarling]

Up, Chazzie! [screaming]

- [growling, screeching]
- [Chaz whimpering]

- Wow. Thanks, Mr. Lucifer.
- That was amazing.

Boy, you Tasmanians don't mess around.

Too easy. All right, boys, let's dip.

We'd better get goin'
before Terry Tight Pants calls in backup.

Thanks, Pretty Boy. You saved my life.

Don't mention it. Seriously, not a word.
And do not hug me.

You know what this means?
You don't hate me anymore.

I'm a Capricorn. I hate everybody.

Can we please just go?

As soon as I find a private jet,
I'm outta here. Gone.

[giggling]

[panting]

[grunts, pants]

Dad, come on!
They're getting away! Get up!

[panting] I can't. I need a rest.
I'm parched. Where's the FIJI Water?

We drank it all, but here.

[slurping, gulping]

- What is it?
- My urine.

[Chaz spitting]

I got the idea from that time
you were tracking those lions.

- What?
- You went ten days without food or water.

And you had to lie in manure
so the lions couldn't smell you.

Hey, maybe we should do that. Maybe...

- I never tracked a lion!
- [gasps]

Or rhinos. Or wolves.
Or even a package online!

But you grew up in the outback.

No, Chazzie.

[clears throat] I grew up
above my auntie's lingerie store...

[in American accent]...in Tampa, Florida.

But what happened to your voice?

This is my voice.

My real voice. Okay?

You see, son, when I was a kid,
I got picked on a lot by other kids.

[indistinct chatter on TV]

And then one day,

I saw this Australian guy
on TV wrestling a crocodile.

And he sounded so cool, you know?

[Australian hero on TV] Holy smokes!
Danger, danger, danger!

[Chaz] So I started talking like him,

and suddenly,
I wasn't nerdy Charlie Huntington anymore.

I was...

[in Australian accent]
Chaz Hunt, you know? Outback legend.

People respected me.

I grew a mustache.

I moved out here
and made up all that other stuff.

So then Mum...

Wasn't swallowed by a giant python.

She ran off
with a landscape architect called Bret.

And all that stuff you say in your show
about how bad these animals are?

Did you just make all that up too?

No, no, no, no. I meant every word of it.

These creatures are evil,
and I'm glad we're hunting them.

I realize that now but...

This is my chance
to make up for all the lies,

to be the hero you deserve.

And I'm not gonna let you down again, son!

We're gonna finish what we started,
no matter how hard it gets.

We'll face danger. We'll face death.
We'll drink each other's urine.

I dunno, Dad.

Maybe we should just go home
and play some video games.

I'll raise an army if I have to!

But I'm gonna catch those freaks
and show the world who I really am,

a rugged, semi-Australian man!

Maybe you should put some pants on first.

["Justified and Ancient (All Bound
for Mu Mu Land)" by The KLF playing]

♪ Hey, hey... ♪

These caves will take you
under the mountains.

Once you get to the outback,

the Uglies Secret Society
will take care of you.

I'm ugly. You're ugly.
We should all be this ugly. [echoing]

- [bats hissing]
- [all] Ahh!

Don't worry, guys.
They only drink warm blood.

[all] Phew!

[Dave] Oh, sorry, mate.
That's a bit awkward.

- [Pretty Boy] Ahh!
- [screeching]

[Maddie] No, Vlad!
Get off his neck! Bad, bad bat!

♪ Justified and ancient
Ancient and a-justified ♪

♪ Rocking to the rhythm
In their ice cream van ♪

♪ With the plan and the key to
Enter into Mu Mu ♪

♪ Vibes from the tribes of the jams ♪

♪ I know where the beat is at
'Cause I know what time it is ♪

♪ Bring home a dime... ♪

[cattle mooing]

We can get you past the herd,
but you'll need to blend in with us.

Whoa. I am not disguising myself
as a dung beetle.

Who said anything about a beetle?

[cattle mooing]

[horse snorting]

It's not working!
I don't look anything like a ball of...

Ugh!

Okay, now I do.

♪ Bring the beat back ♪

[female voice] These days,
it's about the venom.

Kids just want deadly.

Back when Deirdre and I joined
the Uglies Secret Society,

being ugly was something to be proud of.

Now it's just a popularity contest.
I heard they let a platypus in.

- [loud thud]
- [bush pigs squealing]

[song continues]

Am I cute? Am I ugly?
Am I a duck? Am I a beaver? It's just...

It's very hard for me
to buy clothes off the rack. Duck!

- [quacking]
- [cameras clicking]

God, I hate this job.

[engine revving]

[country music playing]

- [music stops]
- I'm Chaz Hunt.

I'm tracking a deadly snake,
a scorpion, a spider, and a lizard.

Who's with me?

[gentle piano music playing]

Try next door.

[indistinct chatter]

- [chatter stops]
- I'm Chaz Hunt.

I'm tracking a deadly snake,
a scorpion, a spider, and a lizard.

Who's with me?

[slurping]

[bikers] Yeah!

[rock 'n' roll music playing]

- [laughing]
- [biker 1] Yeah!

- Oi! Oi!
- [biker 2 laughing]

- [slurping]
- [glass shattering]

- [engine revs]
- Ahh!

[biker 3] Whoo-hoo!

[biker 4 whooping]

[back cracking]

[Nigel sighs] Isn't the universe amazing?

It makes me feel
so small and insignificant.

We are small and insignificant.

It makes me wonder if I'm a god.

Seriously, doesn't that cluster
look like me?

It makes me miss Jackie.

She would've loved seeing all this.

Can you sing us the song, Maddie,

the one your mum used to sing
when you were in the egg?

♪ Sleep, little one ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Your body's cooling with the night ♪

♪ Let your worries slip away ♪

♪ Tomorrow is a brand-new day ♪

♪ Shimmering moon and satin sky ♪

- ♪ Soft wind breathes its lullaby ♪
- [screeching]

♪ Your dreams are here to set you free ♪

♪ The dawn will bring you back to me ♪

♪ The dawn will bring you back to me ♪

- [all snoring]
- [Pretty Boy] That's nice.

Must be cool having something
to remember your mum by.

You don't remember anything about yours?

Nah. She got hit by a car
just after I was born.

Oh. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, me too.

But then a lot of nice people
started looking after me.

Even Chaz. I mean, I know he's a bonehead
and a total psycho,

but I don't know, he was okay.

To you maybe. Not to me.

Well, and don't take this the wrong way,
but you are extremely murderous.

- [scoffs] What?
- I'm just sayin'.

You don't understand.

Chaz was the first person I saw
when I was born.

I thought that meant something.
I thought he cared about me.

But all he saw was
another monster for his show.

[somber music playing]

[breathes deeply]

But that's all in the past.

There's a whole new life waiting for us.

A life we've only seen in our dreams.

[inspirational music playing]

I'm starting to think
you don't entirely suck.

[chuckles] Thanks, PB.

Neither do you.

Are we becoming friends now?

Uh, well, we've been on a road trip.

You've seen me go three weeks
without a mani-pedi.

It seems like the logical next step.

[laughs]

Aw, look!

Falling dandruff.

[music continues]

[Maddie chuckling] What's the first thing
you're gonna do when we get there?

I'm gonna build a clubhouse
where we can all meet.

Forget that. I'm gonna find a girlfriend.

- What about you? What are you gonna do?
- I dunno really.

This is the first time in my life
I haven't been in the spotlight.

I just wanna have
some authentic conversations,

do a bit of yoga, maybe some meditation.

Just really shed the veneer
of superficiality of fame and beauty and...

[gasps]

["Tous les visages de l'amour (She)"
playing]

Mmm. [giggling]

[yawning]

[giggling]

Pretty people!

Right. I guess you wanna walk...
wait, or sprint over there.

Wait! Wait! PB!

Isn't there something you're forgetting?

Oh my gosh! I'm such a fool.

Ah, I knew you wouldn't just...

[Frank] Oh.

Whoa!

- Seriously?
- Eh.

- [Zoe grunting]
- So that's it? You're leaving?

- Oops.
- [grunts]

Fine! Good riddance!

[all sigh]

Ugh, boy. [chuckles]
So glad he's gone, right?

Did he seem kinda clingy to you?

Not really.

Yeah, no, he was definitely clingy.

I mean, he hides it,
but he is gonna miss me.

I mean, us.
He is gonna... he's gonna miss us.

It's okay if you miss him too, Maddie.

[laughs] Are you kidding?

You know that he's actually a marsupial?
Not even a bear.

[laughing] Ridiculous! [snorts]

Now let's find those mountains. [chuckles]

Almost there.

[adventurous music playing]

I can feel it.

I can smell it.

It smells like... home.

[Nigel] Everyone, look!
It's the mountains Jackie told us about!

[Zoe] They're so big.

[Frank] And mountainy.

And burnt sienna-y.

[chuckling] What are we waiting for?

Last one in's a deadly,
disgusting, venomous creature! Whoo-hoo!

- [all] Yay!
- [chuckling]

[Frank] Wow! Feel that sand, guys.
That's genuine outback sand.

And the rocks aren't plastic.

[Frank] Classy.

[inspirational music playing]

Look! A welcoming committee.

They look just like us.

[music continues]

[gasps]

[rhythmic music playing]

[triumphant music playing]

[pants, kisses]

Sorry, mate,
mating season ended yesterday.

Oh.

Do you think they know
we're from the city?

I love what you've done to the place.
The colors are so organic and textural.

[scoffs] They do now.

Ugh. Nice one, Nigel.
You scared away the welcoming committee.

[rumbling]

I don't think that was Nigel.

[engine revving]

- [bikers cheering]
- [all] Ahh!

[Maddie] Into the rocks!

[bikers whooping]

Frank! Nigel!

Over here!

Where's Maddie?

Everyone, spread out.

I want them alive,
so tranquilizer darts only.

[engine revving]

Don't be shy, son. Get out there.

[all] Maddie?

[bikers whooping]

Grab 'em!

No!

- [grunting]
- Gotcha!

[all yelp]

- [rumbling]
- [grunts]

- Ahh! [grunts]
- [Maddie grunts]

- Daddy!
- [gasps, pants]

[Chazzie panting]

You're trembling.

[panting]

So am I.

- [yelps]
- Nice work, son. You got her.

- [panting]
- [Chaz] You're a natural-born hunter.

But... but...

[grunts]

[grunts angrily]

This time, there's no one to save you.

Let's go!

[bikers] Yeah!

[panting]

[somber music playing]

At least we tried, right?

[music continues]

[dramatic music playing]

No!

No, wait!

Bring them back!

[sobbing]

Help me!

Please!

We have to go after them.

- [all gasp]
- No. It looks way too scary out there.

But you're supposed to be our families.
You're the reason we came all this way.

Sorry, love,
but none of us have ever left before.

Then it's about time you did!

Yeah! And if you don't help us,
we'll rip you apart

and turn you into a pair of shoes!

- Pretty Boy?
- Not a nice pair of shoes either.

The cheap, nasty kind!

Yeah, I'm talking to you, brown snake!
Don't you turn your backs on...

They turned their backs.
Yep, they're definitely gone.

I should've kept my mouth shut, right?

What are you doing here?
Why aren't you with the other koalas?

Yeah, nah, that...
Yeah, that didn't really work out.

Just wasn't what I thought
it was going to be.

She's my best friend, but did you see
how many gumnuts she ate?

Sorry. That is not fur. That is fat.
We need to kick her out of the tree.

Be honest. Do you think
koalas can be a little bit shallow?

- Um...
- I don't belong with them.

In fact, it kinda feels like
the only place I do belong is... with you.

Really?

[chuckling] Yeah. How messed up is that?

And seriously, M,
I leave you alone for two minutes,

and you let the guys get captured.
What the...

I know. I know.
I should never have brought them out here.

[breathes deeply, sniffles]

What are we gonna do?

Get them back, of course.

On our own?

Why not? We are, after all, U.S.S.

- Us?
- No, U.S.S.

The Uglies Secret Society?

I don't know.
Maybe it's time we changed that name.

How does
the Unique and Special Society sound?

- Sounds like U.S.S.
- [clicks tongue]

Aw, PB!

- Oh no. Hang on.
- Is that right?

- Right, okay.
- [muffled speech]

- Now, maybe if you go...
- How's that?

You're kinda choking me now.

- [chuckles]
- [grunts] Okay.

[gentle music playing]

Now let's go get our friends back.

[hissing]

[Pretty Boy] Remember, if anyone asks,

we're stunt animals on Mad Max,
and we're looking for hair and makeup.

[adventurous music playing]

[rattling, squeaking]

We can't take that.

Sure, we can. It's just a loan.

Besides, these guys love me.

Hey! Check this out.

- [siren blaring]
- [gasps]

[dramatic music playing]

[engine revving]

- [grunts]
- Whoo!

- Stand back! I will break the glass.
- Read the sticker, Frank.

[Frank] "Ssalg elbakaerbnu." So?

[grunts] Ow!

[dramatic music continues]

[siren wailing]

["Take a Long Line" by The Angels playing]

What the...

[rattling]

[horn blaring]

- Maddie!
- Where did they get that cool truck?

[music stops]

[sighs] I told you
we shouldn't have taught him how to drive.

["Take a Long Line" resumes]

[hissing]

Let's finish this.

- How do I get to the guys?
- Try this.

["Sussudio" by Phil Collins playing]

Ah, Phil!

[buzzing]

[whirring]

["Take a Long Line" resumes]

[bikers yelling]

Take the wheel, son. You're gonna see
what a real hero looks like.

That's okay, Dad.
You... you don't have to do that.

[both screaming]

- Grab 'em!
- Yeehaw!

[thrilling music playing]

[grunts, gasps]

- What's she playing at?
- I think it's snakes and ladders.

- [biker hollering]
- [yelps]

[whimpers, pants]

- Ow! Whoa!
- [all gasp]

- [grunts] Phew.
- [all] Phew.

[grunting]

[panting]

Ahh!

[gun clicking]

[grunts]

Let's get you guys outta that box.

How? It's locked.

Who's driving the truck?

- [siren wailing]
- [tires screeching]

- Looks pretty safe to me. [grunts]
- [gasps]

[grunts, growls]

[grunts]

- Oh, I have to get the key off Chaz.
- Maddie, wait! We're sorry.

- [Maddie] For what?
- Taking you away from your family.

Guys, you didn't take me away
from my family.

You brought me back to them.
You're my family.

- All of you.
- All of us what? What did I miss?

- I love you guys.
- Aw, that's sweet.

[tires screeching]

And I'm never leaving you again.

[both screaming]

She left us again.

- [both] Oh!
- [grunting]

Ugh. Some rescue!
Okay, stand back. I'm busting us out.

We can't. It's ssalg elbakaerbnu.

Look, Nigel's turned beige.

- [twitching]
- [whimpering]

[high-pitched scream]

- It's no good. I'm slipping.
- Ahh!

The skin on my hands is just too soft.

Have me stuffed!

[screaming]

- [gasping]
- [grunts]

[screams]

- [hissing]
- [screaming]

Thanks, M.

[engine revving]

- Come on, guys. Get on!
- [Pretty Boy] Jump on!

- [Maddie] Let's go!
- Move!

- Hurry!
- Cool bike!

Look. There!

- [tires screeching]
- How do we turn this thing?

- [grunting]
- [both screaming]

Follow them!

[dramatic music playing]

- [tires screeching]
- [bikers hollering]

He's gaining!

- That's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy.
- [grunts]

[Chazzie] Ahh!

[nervously] Uh...

[objects clattering]

Dad, that's a bazooka.

I was saving this for your birthday, son,
but this is an emergency.

- [Chazzie] Look out!
- [all] Ahh!

- [rocks rumbling]
- [tires screeching]

Dad, stop it! Please!

I'm doing this for you, Chazzie!

[all] Ahh!

[Chaz] Closer.

Closer.

Gotcha.

- [croaking]
- Huh?

G'day, mate. Nice day for it. [hisses]

- [gasps]
- Red frills, scorpions, attack formation!

Ooh! Ahh!

[bikers grunting]

- Look!
- It's them. They made it.

[hissing]

[chittering]

You came.

That's what families do, love,
help each other out.

Hasn't anyone told you that? Besides,
beats lying on a rock all day. [laughs]

Oh no! It's Skylar.
What are they doing here?

"...branch will break." And she's like,
"At least I don't have nits,"

and I'm like, "As if!" And then... Wait.

This is so not Keisha's birthday party.
Anyway...

Seriously. I feel sorry for her.
She used to be nice,

and then we became friends, except...
This is gross!

I was more like a fashion consultant.

Charge! Onwards and upwards!

- [squeaking]
- Ahh!

- Ahh!
- Ahh!

- [grunting]
- [screams]

- [growls]
- [yelps]

[grunting]

- [heroic music playing]
- [laughing]

[giggling]

[kissing]

Oh, now that's a dancer!

[growling]

[grunts, screams]

And it's like the struggle is real.
Get over it!

Ahh!

That's the human who took my brother.
I'd recognize that hairy lip anywhere.

The wheel of poop has turned.

- This is for Duncan.
- [dung beetles chittering]

Put your back into it!

- One, two, three!
- [gasps]

- [gasps]
- Crikey!

- Uh-oh.
- [rumbling]

- [Chaz whimpering]
- [grunts]

- [koalas] Ahh!
- [grunts] Oh!

- Oh! [grunting]
- [rumbling]

[panting] Ahh!

[all screaming]

[rumbling]

[siren warping]

["Sussudio" playing on stereo]

[all laughing]

[all] Phew!

We're safe.
If it wasn't for that treacherous cliff...

- [all gasp]
- [rumbling]

The brakes!

[shuddering]

- [grunts]
- [all squealing]

[tires screech]

- So unfit.
- PB!

[panting] I have
a newfound respect for hamsters!

- You gotta get off!
- I can't!

- Jump!
- I can't.

- [Maddie] Jump!
- [yelps, grunts]

Whoo! Gotcha!

[dramatic music playing]

[thudding]

[tires screeching]

[music warping on stereo]

[music stops]

- Chazzie! You're safe.
- [rumbling]

[all screaming]

[clattering]

[dramatic music playing]

Chazzie?

Uh...

Daddy!

Hang on, son. I'm coming.

[gasps]

[all gasp]

Okay. Just... just...

[whimpering]

Quick! Wedge something underneath.

[thrilling music playing]

[gasps, grunts]

Ow.

[kissing]

Stella!

Ahh! [grunts]

Don't hurt my son, you monster!

- I am the deadliest snake on the planet.
- [whimpers]

One drop of my venom can kill 100 men.

[panting]

But I'm not a monster.

- [hissing]
- [whimpering]

[grunting]

[inspirational music playing]

Daddy!

[grunting]

- [gasps]
- [Chaz grunting]

[continues grunting]

- Ahh!
- [Chazzie grunts]

[thudding]

[sobbing]

I'm so sorry, son. I thought I'd lost you!

It's okay, Dad. We'll be all right.

[sentimental music playing]

We did it, M. We saved him. Whoo-hoo!

Did you just lose some weight?

M? M! Ahh!

She's empty! My friend's a husk!
She's melted from the inside!

[Maddie] PB, that's just my old skin!

I'm over here!

[Pretty Boy] Whoa!

Yeah. She does that all the time.

Yeah, it's kinda gross if you ask me.

Maddie, you're beautiful.

[chuckling] Thanks, PB.

She's always been beautiful.
You just never noticed before.

[Chaz sobbing]

[all grunt]

- Jeez.
- You're spiking his eye.

- I'm in his ear.
- [Pretty Boy] You're kinda choking me now.

Oops, I think I bit him. Phew.

- There we go.
- Well, that was awkward.

- [sobbing, blowing nose]
- Ugh.

- Sorry.
- That's okay. It's been that kind of week.

[sniffling]

[gentle music playing]

Thank you.

You're welcome.

What do we do now?

Go home, of course.

- Where's that?
- [loud cheering]

Why don't we ask them?

[cheering continues]

[uplifting music playing]

[blowing kiss]

What happened to Twiggy?

I don't know. She just snapped.

[music continues]

[croaking]

Blech.

[chittering]

- Ugh.
- Look! It's Doug and Doreen!

Hey there! You made it!
Well-done. [whistles]

[baby toads] Yay!

- Who are they?
- [Doreen] These are our kids.

Since Tuesday?

Well, you know Doug.

This is Braden, Haden, Jaden...

Oh, they're so adorable!

Huh? What? Ew! No! Not on me!

...Terry, Tiffany, Tammy, Chevy, Dwayne...

Oh, Doug!

The head of the Uglies Secret Society
wants to congratulate you in person.

- The head?
- Of course!

Who do you think told
all those agents to keep an eye on you?

[chuckling] Hello, my babies.

[all] Jackie!

[laughing]

But we saw you get taken away.

Oh, please!

I'm the head
of an international rescue team.

And I picked up a few clever ways
to escape from this one.

So you've been watching over us
the whole time?

Well, that's what mothers do, love.

- [baby toads croaking]
- Ugh!

This toad spit can't be good
for my fur. Unless it is.

Is toad spit good for my fur?
Has anyone seen the research on this?

Now let's go home.

[uplifting music playing]

Ahh! Get away! Argh!

[yelping]

[music continues]

["Beautiful Ugly"
by Tim Minchin and Evie Irie playing]

♪ You are the real platonic ideal ♪

♪ Of perfect pose and charm ♪

♪ You got a Mona Lisa smile, oh ♪

♪ The Venus de Milo couldn't touch you
Even if she had both of her arms ♪

♪ Nothing's as sweet
As the way that you treat me ♪

♪ When everything is going right ♪

♪ But when you're tired and grumpy
Or overly hungry ♪

♪ Man, it ain't a pretty sight ♪

♪ What I'm trying to say
In every single way ♪

♪ I think you're beautiful ♪

♪ But not when we're having a fight ♪

♪ You are beautiful ♪

♪ In certain types of light ♪

♪ It doesn't matter what you say ♪

♪ There's no point in denyin' ♪

♪ You are beautiful ♪

♪ Most of the time ♪

♪ Oh, and honey, you're lovely
You're cuddly ♪

♪ Your walk is the talk of the town ♪

♪ And when you're feelin' the groove ♪

♪ It is true you got moves like Jagger
When the lights go down ♪

♪ But in the morning light
When you had a big night ♪

♪ Honey, you're a heck of a mess ♪

♪ You are the nicest girl
In the whole wide world ♪

♪ Unless you haven't had
Your first espresso, oh-o ♪

♪ The thing about you and me ♪

♪ We always agree that honesty
Is beautiful ♪

♪ And honestly I think you're fine ♪

♪ I mean, you're beautiful ♪

♪ About 84% of the time ♪

♪ But every now and then
I take a photo of you ♪

♪ You look a little bit like a fish ♪

♪ You are beautiful-ish ♪

♪ People who want you to be perfect ♪

♪ Believe me, girl
They just ain't worth it ♪

♪ The surface can be fun ♪

♪ But time will see their love undone ♪

♪ I love every crease and crack of you ♪

♪ The unfiltered front and back of you ♪

♪ The UGG-booted morning truth of you ♪

♪ Wouldn't change a single tooth of you ♪

♪ All those branded beauties
With their tanned and airbrushed booties ♪

♪ Think they're beautiful ♪

♪ But they haven't got the meaning right ♪

♪ You can't be beautiful ♪

♪ If you're constantly
Adjusting your light ♪

♪ It's a pity
But prettiness comes and goes ♪

♪ Baby, how can I make you see? ♪

♪ You are beautiful ♪

♪ You will always be beautiful ♪

♪ Utterly beautiful ♪

♪ To me ♪

[orchestral music playing]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

["Maddie's Lullaby"
by Thelma Plum playing]

♪ Sleep, little one ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Your body's cooling with the night ♪

♪ Let your worries slip away ♪

♪ Tomorrow is a brand-new day ♪

♪ Shimmering moon and satin sky ♪

♪ Soft wind breathes its lullaby ♪

♪ Your dreams are here to set you free ♪

♪ The dawn will bring you back to me ♪

♪ The dawn will bring you back to me ♪