Babyfever (1994) - full transcript

- You know, I never really
thought much about babies,

but then I had a birthday this summer.

And something started to happen.

It's like my whole body started to erupt

like some kind of volcano.

- I'm 37 now, and about three years ago,

all of a sudden I started
to love (laughs) babies.

I never really loved babies before that.

And, I, I guess my clock is sticking.

- I've always thought that I
was gonna have a blond boy.

Because there are times when I look up



when I'm reading at home,

and I see a little boy in the room.

- Well, I'm supposed to be a major success

and have five children and a
house in Connecticut. (laughs)

- I remember I used to draw pictures

of what they would look like,

and the color of their hair,
and the color of their eyes,

and what their names would be.

- My mother used to sing to me every night

that everyone loved me,
and that I was a good girl,

and that my father loved me,
and my brothers loved me.

And so I think it's very natural

that I wanna recreate
that for a little one,

a child in my own life.



- I know exactly how babies are made.

There's two people, they go into one,

and they become three people.

And that's the kind of baby I wanna make.

- I'm ovulating now.

I'm ovulating now, attention shoppers.

♪ Put your dreams away ♪

♪ For another day ♪

♪ And I will take their place ♪

♪ In your heart ♪

♪ Wishing on a star ♪

♪ Never got you far ♪

♪ And so it's time to make ♪

♪ A new start ♪

♪ When your dreams at night ♪

♪ Fade before you ♪

♪ Then I'll have the right ♪

♪ To adore you ♪

♪ Let your kiss confess ♪

♪ This is happiness ♪

♪ Darling, and put all your dreams away ♪

(gentle music)

♪ When your dreams at night ♪

♪ Fade before you ♪

♪ Then I'll have the right ♪

♪ To adore you ♪

♪ Let your kiss confess ♪

♪ This is happiness ♪

♪ Darling, and put all your dreams away ♪

- You weren't wearing anything?

- You knew I wasn't wearing anything.

- I didn't know you
weren't wearing anything,

how would I know?

- You told me you could tell

when I wasn't wearing something!

- Well sometimes I can,

but not after a couple bottles of wine.

- But you, you, you told me
that you could always tell!

- (sighs) I never said
I could always tell.

- You're trying to--
- Sometimes I--

- Trap me into this!

- I'm not trying to trap anyone!

- Yes you are, you're trying to trap me

into getting pregnant and marry you.

- Gena--
- I'm not doing it like this.

- Gena, I'm not.

Look, if you didn't--

- Well why didn't you stop?
- Then why didn't you stop??

Why is this my fault, for Christ's sake?

You're the one that knew, I had no idea!

You should've stopped.

You shoulda said something.

Or did, did you know?

- Of course I knew, of course I knew!

But I thought you knew!

I thought you knew what I knew!

I thought we knew.

- Then why didn't you stop?

I think that's pretty interesting.

- Doesn't mean I'm pregnant.

- I know.

Well what, what time of month is it?

I mean, how does that work?

- Well it depends from your point of view.

I mean, is it a good time
or a bad time of the month?

- It depends.
(laughs)

No, I'm asking you.
(both laugh)

Is it--
- Well, if it's--

- A dangerous time of month?
- A good time of month,

is that a bad time, or
it's a bad time of month,

is it a good time?

- If it's a dangerous time of month--

(Gena laughs)
I think that's--

- Dangerous from which point of view?

Meaning I could be?

- If you might be pregnant,

I'd be a pretty happy guy.

What do you know about metallurgy?

- [Gena] What?

- Metallurgy.

- [Gena] What do I know about metallurgy?

- Yeah.
- What do you think

I know about metallurgy?

I don't know anything about metallurgy.

- When they put copper and tin together,

they found bronze.

Totally new substance.

It changed civilization.

They put two things, two
separate things together

that, through their union, made
something that was greater.

I feel like that with you.

I feel like...

That you bring out the best in me,

and I bring out the best in you,

and it would be a crime if

(sighs) we didn't share that with a child.

- You manipulated me into this.

- [James] I manipulated you.

- Yeah, you manipulated me into this.

- You wanna explain that for me?

- Because, you're always
here, and you're just...

Terrific.

And you've got me thinking about it.

- If that's manipulation,
I'm glad I'm manipulative.

- Me too.

- Okay listen, Mark, we've got commitments

for the supermarket, for
the motion picture theater,

for the bank, for major restaurants.

We're ready to roll, we're
ready to order materials.

The contractor has been on my back,

the city's been on my back.

I keep telling you this,

we've spent two months
in this courtship dance,

and I wanna know where is the commitment?

- The commitment is done,
the money is arranged.

It's just a matter of
time, J.K., that's all.

This thing is done, it's finished.

As far as I'm concerned,
the people are moving in.

- Well you keep telling me this,

but it's not acceptable
on my end, I'm sorry.

I need to know specifically
in writing from you

what the hell's going on with this thing.

I wanna know where are the documents.

- I don't know what more I can tell you.

I believe in you, I
believe in the project,

I believe in the future of the project.

I believe in us working together.

I have six more projects that
I wanna work with you with!

Six of them!

This is number one!

I believe that you're the best

that I've ever seen in this business.

- Mark, you have until
10:00 tomorrow morning

to put the documents on my desk signed,

or the deal is off.

- Where's the trust?

Where's the faith?

Where is the commitment?

- Where are the documents?

- [Gena] Diane, did you send Ken

the (papers shuffling) folder?

- The Garabino file?

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

I need it right away.

- Uh, I think I gave it to him on Tuesday.

- Please make sure, okay?

- Okay.
- And

do you know where my MLS book is?

- They're at home.

- [Gena] Why?

- Because they came to, they
came to my home this time

instead of coming to the office.

I'm not sure why, and I
honestly don't remember,

Gena, I'm sorry.

- Okay, well please bring them in,

I need them desperately.

- I spilled coffee on them.

I'm sorry.

I really am, Gena, I'm sorry.

I have pregnant brain.

- (chuckles) It's okay,
don't worry about it.

Would you get me a cup of decaf?

- Yeah, I'd be happy to.
- Thank you.

Nonfat milk, okay?
- Okay.

- Yes, yes, it's absolutely correct, Chip.

Do me a favor, let me call you back, okay?

Thank you.

- I need my check.

- Don't you have your check?

- No I don't have my check.
- Oh!

Of course you don't have, you know why?

It hasn't cleared yet.

I don't know what's goin'
on, maybe it got lost.

- [Gena] I really need it,
can't you give me an advance?

- I could give you an advance,

but I just wrote a check just
now for other things, I can't.

And the check that I
got has not cleared yet.

So therefore we can't--
- But that's impossible,

the closing's done, everything's settled.

I don't understand!

- Hold on Gena, it's
impossible, but it's possible.

It happens to be true!

I checked with the bank this morning

because I knew you'd be
asking about your money,

and I said, "Has it cleared yet?"

They said no.

- Then why did you say it
was gonna be ready today?

- Why, because normally
you're absolutely right,

things are ready!

They always come through,
you know, a few days.

Geez, I tell ya, I'm sorry.

If I'd only thought about it.

I mean, I just assumed
it would've cleared.

You assumed it too, didn't you?

- I wanna go to dinner.

You said you were gonna take me to dinner.

- I want to talk about something.

- But I'm hungry, I wanna go now.

I'm really dying now.

- We'll go in a minute.

The firm has a client
that I've been handling

for about three years now,

that's been trying to build
in Malibu, on Puerco Canyon.

And the new city won't let her.

She wants to build a guest
house, it's too many square feet,

they don't want her to.

Anyway, I could refer her out

and
(rubber band snapping)

get this house at a very sweet price, hmm?

I wanna know what you
have to say about it.

It's something, isn't it?

- Mm, it's a big house.

- Gallery.

- It's huge!
- Courtyard.

What do ya think?

I wanted your opinion.

Isn't it nice?

- This is a huge house.
- Mm-hmm.

- What do you need this house for?

- I don't.

- So (chuckles)--

- We might.

(soft chuckle)

You mean you and me?

You mean you and me might...

Oh.

- Ringing any bells?

- You've got this all figured out?

You know that you wanna
live here with me and--

- Well, it's a possibility.
- Be here with me

and have a family here with me?

- A very nice possibility.

I'm just showing you
what the reality could be

of our being together.

I mean, we talk and we
talk and we talk about it,

and still something seems to scare you.

So I wanted you to know
what the reality could be,

with the thought that it might
allay some of your fears.

- That's really sweet.

- [James] Sweet.

- Yeah, that's really sweet.

I, I appreciate that.

- Girls in school always
used to call me cute.

I hated that word just as much.

(paper rustling loudly)
- No, I'm very touched

that you went to all this
trouble to figure this out.

I mean, this is a house for children,

this is a house for a family.

This is a serious kind of house.

I don't--
- We've talked about children,

we've talked about marriage,
we've talked about love,

we've talked about commitment,

we've talked about our lives together.

I mean hell, if you wanna be a yuppy,

our careers even mesh, I mean. (chuckles)

It's just a thought.

(car door opening)

- And I think that's it.

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

- Okay.

- What's it feel like?

- What?

- Being pregnant?

- Usually good, today bad.

- Why?

- I don't, I just have a headache, Gena.

I feel, there's clamps on my head.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- Is it painful?

- Yeah.

I wonder if the baby's
hitting a nerve or something.

Sometimes it's just very--

- You wanna lay down?

- No, thanks.

- [Woman] Hey, there's Anthony Thomas!

There's Anthony Thomas!

- [Gena] Kidding.

- How are you?

- What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

- Came to ask you for some
of your financial wisdom.

- [Gena] Why didn't you call
and tell me you were coming?

- Because I knew you wouldn't see me.

- You're probably right.

- I know I'm right.

- Yes, you're right.

- Can I have 10 minutes of your time?

Say yes.

- I'm very busy right now.

- [Anthony] 10 minutes.

Say yes.

- Why should I?

- Say yes.

Say yes.

- No.

- [Anthony] Say yes.

- No.

- Please.

- Get down on your knees.

(grunts softly)

Get down on your knees and ask me.

- I need 10 minutes of your time.

- Ask me again.

- I need 10 minutes of your time.

- I'll give you five.

(laughs)

- There's a little problem that I have

with the internal revenue.

It's not a problem.

It's just an argument that we're having.

In the meantime, they've
confiscated my funds.

Now, I, I, I sent them,

well you're wrong now, it's
not that I didn't send it in,

I sent it in!

The money was sent to you, and,

I understand that it bounced,
but that's not the point.

The point is that the
money was in the bank

when I wrote the check.

I didn't write a bad check.

In the meantime, the government
came in, took the money,

and the check was no good.

- I came to see you for
some help, actually.

I, uh...

You know the house that you helped me get?

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

Well, um...

I have this business manager.

Well, I believe you knew him, William?

You know?
- Yeah.

- And, uh...

- But you must be making
a lot of money now.

- Yeah, I am.

He has me in a lot of
tax shelters, you know?

And, uh, I can't seem
to lay a hand on a dime.

You know, it's all, it's
all here, it's all there,

it's all almost here, you know?

- Well you know where it is, right?

You know what he's doing with it?

- Quite frankly, I can't
make heads or tales of him.

I never know--
- Does he give you

statements, or things to read?

- Oh yeah, yeah.

- (laughs) Do you read them?

- And they're long and involved.

You know I've never been a
reader of anything but scripts.

And I've never, uh,

I've never been able to add more than,

you know, my change for a tip.

- I think it's a little unfair of you

to just appear like this
and expect me to help you.

- It is unfair.

As you always pointed out
to me, I always was unfair.

- But, uh--
- But you don't mind

being unfair.

- Well, if anything was really fair,

the whole world would
be a little different,

wouldn't it, honey?

- So as long as we take care of you

and play by your rules, it's okay.

- No, as, um, long as everyone
takes care of themselves

and there are no rules, everybody's fine.

- You took care of yourself,

but I didn't take care of myself.

- [Anthony] That's right.

And I have felt bad about it ever since.

- [Gena] So what do you want?

- I wanna refinance my
house, since, uh, stuff,

whatever you call it.

What do you call that--

- Your variable?

- My variable, whatever that means.

- You got in so far under
the market, you must be okay.

I mean, the market's gone down,

but we got you such a great
deal, you should be fine.

You got enough equity, you
could pull some equity out.

Your payments would
probably be a little higher,

but if we did the re-fi at the same time,

it wouldn't be that much higher.

Or you could move out.

You could move out and lease
it and have some cashflow.

- That's probably the smartest option.

I'll pick up some stuff
in William's office,

and I'll bring it by, and...

- Or you could just mail it to me.

- It'd be even nicer for
me, if it's okay with you,

if I could bring it by,
have a little dinner,

and talk about my financial foolishness.

- Is there anybody else
living in the house with you?

- [Anthony] No.

- No?

- [Anthony] No.

- Come on. (laughs)

You must have millions of
women chasing you now, come on.

- [Anthony] Oh I do, but
I'm quick, you know that.

- (laughs) I remember.

So are you in a relationship?

- No, um, I haven't been in a relationship

about three months.

I lived with this woman
and her little girl

for about three years.

I took care of her, you know?

- You took care of her?

- [Anthony] Yeah, her and her child.

- And her child?

Was this your child?

- No, no.

No (chuckles) no, honey.

She was a little ash blonde girl.

She's very bright and very affectionate.

And it made me realize that I want a child

more than anything in the world.

When I thought about the
reasons I wanted a child,

I, I only thought about you.

It's not like wanting a
motorcycle and wanting a horse.

It's wanting a life.

- You're unbelievable, you know that?

- I've been told.

- I haven't seen you in so long.

You didn't return any of my calls.

- I was selfish and I was childish.

And I was wrong.

And, you know, what you
see is what you get.

What's, what's, what's here
right now is no different

from who was living with
you when we lived together.

Except in the fact that
I know what you are now.

- So now you appreciate me.

- Oh, yeah.

- Now you wanna have a baby, now.

- I don't have to do it right now.

- (laughs humorlessly) I hate you.

- No you don't.

- I hate you.
- (whispers) No you don't.

Look at me.

Look at me, look at me.

Look at me.

Relax, baby, relax.

I'm not here to hurt you.

I'm not here to scare you.

- I don't believe you.

- You don't?

- No.

- Okay.

You want me to leave?

- Um. (laughs)

I don't know.

Ugh, God.

- What time do you, uh,
have lunch around here?

- When I get hungry.

- Let's go eat.

- The Hockney that I have
for you is appraised,

it's evaluated for $450,000, okay?

I'm asking you for now cash 225.

I happen to have access to other Hockneys.

Otherwise I don't let it go.

I've got Rodin for you,

I've got some very special modern things.

I got graffiti artists.

I got everything.

Now you know how I love to collect,

you know what the taste it.

I got five Basquiats for you.

Five of 'em, having a show!

It's tremendous.

This is all for you if you move quickly.

But if you don't come
up with the cash now,

there's no pictures.

- I'm so confused, Roz,
I don't know what to do.

- What are you confused about?

- I'm just driving myself crazy.

I, I don't know what to do!

James suddenly wants to get married.

- What!?

- Yeah, he suddenly wants to get married.

He showed up the other day at my office

with these house plans!

He's got it all figured out,

he knows where we're gonna live,

which room the baby's gonna sleep in,

which room the other
baby's gonna sleep in,

which room the third
baby's gonna sleep in.

- I didn't even know you
were still with James,

I just sort of assumed it was off again.

I mean, you're so platonic.
- No, I really like him.

I feel that I'm safe with him,

I feel like I'm in a place
that will not let me down.

Maybe this is what love is all about.

Maybe it's about being with somebody

who's gonna be there for
you, who you can count on.

- The doubt quotient is too high.

There's too much maybe here,

there's too much I'm
not sure, I don't know.

There's too much ambivalence!

- Well, we've talked about that.

I mean, he knows I have doubts.

But he says that,

he says that it's like his golf game,

(laughingly) and that it's gonna improve.

- He says that it's what?!

- (laughing) He said to me the other day,

(laughs) he said...

(both laughing)

- I'm listening.

- He said, "Gena, honey, listen.

"It's just like I did when I
was trying to improve my game.

"I just switched my grip
a little bit, so that,"

I don't know what he did, he
moved his hand differently.

"We just keep working at it, we'll fit,

"we'll be in the groove, and
everything will work out."

- You can't marry someone
who deals in golf metaphors.

(Gena laughs)
I cannot let you do that!

I can't let you!

- (sighs) Guess who showed up
at my office the other day?

- [Roz] Who?

- Anthony.

- No.
- Yeah.

- [Roz] Oh no, he is the nerviest.

- Can you believe that?

- He is the most
self-involved, self-indulgent.

What did he want?

- He wanted mt to talk to him
about his financial problems.

- The big movie star?

- [Gena] Yeah. (laughs)

- Oh, I'm very concerned
about his financial problems.

- After four years, he shows up.

Doesn't call, just arrives, appears,

and expects me to talk to him.

- [Roz] So you didn't
talk to him, did you?

- Yeah.

- [Roz] Gena.

(giggles)

Gena, you talked to him?

- Yeah.

- Not about financial problems.

Well, exactly what happened
here, what went on here?

- Nothing went on, we just talked!

We talked, I told him about his house,

and he told me he wants
to have a baby with me.

- Oh! (laughing)

- (laughing) My life, my life.

I don't know.

- He told you he wants
to have a baby with you?!

- Can you believe this?

Can you believe this?
(gasps)

He's got this strange
kind of effect on me.

I see him and I feel myself ovulating,

I feel like--
(laughter)

I just wanna fall into his arms

and ruin my life!
- You're not ovulating.

- I can just imagine.
- That is not ovulating,

that feeling is not ovulating.

- No.
- That's another kind

of heat altogether--
- Yeah.

- It is not ovulating.

(whispering) Did you sleep with him?

- [Gena] No!

- Did, Gena?

- I've got enough problems right now,

I didn't sleep with him, okay?

- You promise me--
- I didn't.

- Just promise me--
- I swear, no!

- That you didn't sleep with him.

- Look, I'm not gonna sleep with him, I...

(sighs frustratedly)
- Oh, that guy is nothing

but just a big genital organ.

(laughs)
I can't stand it!

I can't stand this.

- But maybe that's what you need!

I don't know.

- You just told me that
you're gonna marry someone

because it's safe!
- Oh, come on,

I don't know!

Yeah, well, that's, I
think maybe I should.

- No no no, listen.

I mean, I'm not saying
that safety and security

isn't a wonderful thing,

but you just have no feelings about--

- But maybe I love him.

Maybe I really love him.

- Maybe you love him?!

It's like a pie.
- Well I don't know,

I think now I don't know what
I really love or how I love.

I think I just have to
do what's good for me.

- No no no.

If you have doubts, if there's
like a piece of the pie

that's a big no, then it doesn't matter--

- Yeah, but what if there's
a 80% of it that's a yes,

and only 20% of it is a
no, or maybe a maybe even.

- No, because maybe
means no, and no is no!

- I don't know, maybe
it's just the baby shower

hanging over my head.

I hate going to baby showers.

I swore the last time I went to one

that I wouldn't go again for a long time,

'til it was for my baby.

- No no, what are you, crazy?

What are you talkin' about,
$225,000 cash, that's all.

But you can give me 50 now.

Gimme 50 now, we'll work out a payout.

I don't need all the
money, just gimme 50 now.

I have certain things
I gotta take care of.

The Hockney'll be in your
house, hanging there tonight!

(Gena sighs)

(James sighs)

- Oh!

Well.

My hands are sweaty.

- That's okay.
- God, they're so sweaty.

Yours are freezing.

- You have beautiful hands.

- You think so?
- Yeah.

(yells loudly)

(laughs) Sorry.

Oh, God.

- I'm serious, will you teach me that?

(Gena sighs)

I don't think I do it right.

You know, Anthony taught me how to do it,

but I don't do it right.

I just, (breathes deep) it's
just when I feel very stressed

I try and anything.

- So he taught you one
thing worthwhile, right?

- Mm-hmm.

Well...

Yeah, I guess you could say that.

(both laugh)

Um. (yells loudly)

(yells more quietly)

- Just a normal evening, sitting around.

(laughs)
Making animal noises.

You're great.
- Um.

- You are.

- My throat feels so dry.

Um, yeah.

Um.

Ah!

- Did I make you nervous?

The other night, with the plans?

I thought afterwards
that was probably stupid.

There was a lot of things
we should've talked about

before I--

- Like what?
- Laid some plans out on you.

(laughs)

Sometimes my timing
isn't what it should be.

- Me neither.

You know um, I'm late.

My period's late. (laughs softly)

(yells loudly)

(both laugh)
- No wonder you're anxious!

Wait, wait wait wait.

- Ah!

What are you doing?
- No,

I don't think so.

Don't hear anything.

- You don't, I'm, I'm not that late.

- I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

You're serious, aren't you?

- Yeah.

I'm not sure whether you
look happy about that or not.

- Wow.

- I mean, I don't know yet, but...

You know, I may be pregnant.

I meant, I might be pregnant.

I mean, it was the right time of...

(yells loudly)

month, and, um--
- I'm kidding.

Well that's exciting!

(both laugh)

God!

That's great!

Well, I mean it...

- Is it?

Is it really?

I mean--
- Isn't it?

- I'm asking you.
(laughs)

- Well, I...

- What do you mean well um?

Isn't it?

- Yes!

Yes, no, absolutely,

I mean, it's--
- What do you mean well um?

You said well um.

- Well it's not, I mean...

Usually you plan for these
things, and then it happens.

When it just happens, it,

but no, it's great, it's...

- What do you mean you plan

for these things?
- You might be pregnant?

- I thought you wanted to have a baby?

I mean you--
- I do!

Oh, I do!

- Well I mean, I know it would
be accidental and everything,

but you mean you would be
happier if we'd planned it

and not have any accidental--

- No no no no no, I--
- And just do it?

- It's not a question of
happier, it's just, you know,

it takes some get--
- But I know

you like to plan things,
I just don't know,

I expected you (starts crying)

(yells loudly) I expected you

to be really happy about it.
- No I am happy,

sweetie, I am, I am, I
am, don't get me wrong.

I just, you know, it, it's
a big event, and, and,

no, it's great, it's great!

Oh Christ.

(laughs tearfully)

Here, I'll just put my
foot in my mouth, here.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.

I didn't.

I think that's, you know,

what have I been talking
about for three months?

I mean. (laughs)

- Well...

- That's wonderful news.

- Is it?
- So maybe my--

- I mean...
- Yes!

- Okay, well we don't
know yet, so. (sighs)

- Right.

We don't know yet.

Pregnant.
(yells quietly)

So maybe it wasn't premature,
my showing you that house.

(both laugh)

Oh, man!

- Um.

(yells loudly)

(mid-tempo jazz music)

♪ Somewhere, someday ♪

♪ We'll be close together, wait and see ♪

♪ Oh, by the way ♪

♪ This time the dream's on me ♪

♪ You'll take my hand ♪

♪ And you'll look at me adoringly ♪

♪ But as things stand ♪

♪ This time the dream's on me ♪

♪ It would be fun ♪

♪ To be certain that I'm the one ♪

♪ To know that I at least ♪

♪ Supply the shoulder you cry upon ♪

♪ To see you through ♪

♪ 'Til you're everything you want to be ♪

♪ It can't be true ♪

♪ But this time the dream's on me ♪

(mid-tempo jazz music continues)

- Milly?

Milly!

Milly?

Milly, where are you?

- [Milly] Hi!

- Milly, where is everybody?

- Who is it?

- [Gena] It's Gena!

- Hi honey!

- Milly, there's no cars
here, where is everybody?

- I don't know.

- [Gena] What do you mean you don't know?

- I don't know, nobody's here yet.

Can't get the clasp on this bracelet.

- You know, I can't believe this,

I blew my horn at this
cop to get his attention,

and he pulled me over and gave me a ticket

for blowing my horn!

- [Milly] Gena, I can't
hear a word you're sayin'!

What are you sayin'?

- I got a ticket for excessive
use of horn! (tearfully)

- Gena, take a--
- Do you know anybody

who's gotten a ticket for
excessive use of horn?

- No, I don't.

Excessive use of horn,

what were you doing?
- I blew my horn.

- Well it's all right, it's all right--

- No it's not all right,

you don't know--
- Sit down,

you'll feel better.
- I can't go to traffic school

for another two years.

- What I'd like you to do,

in addition to shooting the party--

- Mm-hmm.
- I'd like you to do

a video of the house.

Just like you did on Coalwater Canyon,

on Edgewater Road, okay?

I want you to do this house
like it was a regular video.

- Well you know, I'd love to,

but Milly hired me to do the shower.

I mean...

- Nobody's gonna stop you
from doing the shower.

Just additionally.

And then I'll take care
of the extra money.

Whatever it costs extra.

But I want you to do it like
you do a regular sales video.

It's, it's really a surprise for Milly.

It's a birthday present.

- (laughs) What kinda, I don't understand,

why is it a birthday present?

- I wanna show her, in
the greatest fashion,

a beautiful video of the
house where the kids grew up,

where we lived our life.

You know, the house that we live in!

- [Gena] I thought I was gonna be late!

- [Milly] You're not late, you're early.

- [Gena] I can't believe
this happened to me.

You know, it's your fault I got this.

You told me to be here early!

- [Milly] It's my fault?

- I mean, excessive use of horn!

Who can get such a thing?

You know how much my insurance is?

Oh.

Diane!

I didn't know you were here already!

You look so great.
- Thanks, Gena.

- You really do.

I don't know how you did
this, you just met him!

You haven't even known him a year,

you just met him,
suddenly you got pregnant,

here you are, married, you're one of them!

I don't know how you made this transition.

- I just knew, Gena.

- [Gena] How?

- I just knew!

- It was that easy?

It can't be like that.

So you're happy?

- [Diane] I'm happy.

- [Gena] You look happy.

- [Judith] (sighs) I'm not gonna be able

to stay much longer.

- [Diane] Why, what's the matter?

- [Judith] She was up all night,

and I have to get her
back early, that's all.

I mean, it's such a long drive back.

- Is she okay?
- Oh yeah, oh yeah yeah,

she's okay, but she's
just teething, you know?

Will you open my gift before I go?

- Yeah, sure, I'd love to.

- I wanna see you open it.

- Neiman Marcus.

- Neiman Marcus!

(Diane gasps)
(Judith laughs)

- Wait, what is it?
- Isn't that great?

- Oh my God!
- It's a little outfit!

Isn't that so cute?
- Gena, look at this! (laughs)

- It'll be so cool for
when it gets cold it.

- That's adorable!
- I know.

- You know what, I really
don't mean to make this short,

but I've gotta go to the bathroom,

because I'm just dying, as
I'm sure you understand.

- Oh, I know.

- I don't wanna wake up when
I'm 40, having my first child.

I don't wanna be that old!

I wanna be able to do
things with my children.

- [Milly] You can start
the table now if you want.

- Okay.
- You know,

put everything out on the table?

- All right.
- Okay?

And two waters in the garden.

- Okay.
- Okay, do you want

fizzy or non-fizzy?

- I want one fizzy and one non-fizzy.

- [Molly] Okay.

- Did the cake get here?

- [Molly] No, Rosie's bringing it.

- Did you see it?

- [Molly] No, the pastry chef
was just puttin' it together

when we left this morning.

- It's gonna be adorable.

- Yeah, they do a good job.

- It's gonna be fabulous.

It's gonna be a great baby shower.

- Just hold her like that.

Okay, just--
(baby whines)

It's okay, it's okay.

- She's gonna cry!

- No no, she's fine.

She's fine, she's fine!

(baby cries)

She's okay, she's okay.

Oh, come here!

Oh.

She's okay.

- Did I hurt her?
- Pumpkin.

No, (chuckles) no, you didn't hurt her!

You didn't hurt her.

No, she's fine!

She's fine!

Oh no, it's, here, hold her again.

It's okay, here.

She just didn't know who you were!

(baby cries)

- Oh, don't cry!

- Oh, baby, it's okay.

- Oh, oh!

- Oh.

Here, shake this at her.

(Gena laughs)

Oh, sweetheart!

(Gena laughs)
(baby cries)

- You're scaring her!

- Oh, I'm sorry!

- No no, you're not scaring
her, she's scared of you.

(Gena laughs through tears)

- This is for you.

- Thank you.

- Enjoy.

And actually it's more for
you and Mark afterwards.

- Oh, how sweet!

(baby cries)

(Gena laughs)

- Oh!

- I'm sorry!

- We just need to get her bottle!

(baby wails)
- Oh!

- What if I just go get her bottle, okay?

- Okay, okay, here, sweetheart.

- She's all right, yeah.

Oh no, I'll get her bottle.

- Okay!

I'm sorry!

(baby crying continues)

- Va va va voom!

- So what do you think?

Is that good?
- It's terrific! (laughs)

- Is that good? Good.

- That's great!
- Bring back

a little zip after the baby.

- Hi Mil.

- Hi honey.

- How are ya?

- I'm fine, how ya feeling?

- I feel like a big fat
sofa, how do you feel?

(kisses)

- I wanna talk to you, okay?

I wanna talk to you for a minute.

- What do you wanna talk to me about?

- I just wanna talk to you for a minute

before we go in there, okay?

- What's the problem, Mil?

- I wanna have 10 minutes
with you this week,

I don't care where it is,
I don't care when it is.

I want 10 minutes so we can
talk about the singing thing,

do you understand?

You're gonna have another baby,
you already have one baby.

What are you gonna live on?

- Milly, this is none of
your business, you know.

This is between Billy and me, we don't--

- Oh, this is none of my business.

This is not being responsible!

You have to get a regular
job or he has to get

a regular job.
- You know what,

you know what, you're really--

- Are you listening to me?
- I'm listening, you know,

but you're really out of line here.

- I'm outta line.
- Yeah, you are,

because you can't tell me I'm--

- My whole life I didn't give to you

whenever you needed it from me?

- No, I'm not saying you're not wonderful,

it's not that you're
not a wonderful sister,

and it's not that you don't
do good things for me,

I'm not saying that, but you don't--

- What are you saying?

- What if the most remarkable thing I do

is to be somebody remarkable's mother?

I can't have that!

She can't be the only thing in my life!

- My life was such a sham?

Huh?

Was my life such a sham that
I gave it all to the kids?

Huh, is that what you think?

That's what you think, right?

- It's okay for you,
I'm not criticizing you!

I'm just saying that there's--

- What do you think you're gonna get?

What's gonna be better than
somebody going like this

and saying mommy to you?
- Nothing, nothing,

that's great.
- What's gonna be better?

- She has to see me--
- Singing in a nightclub?

With a spot?
- She has,

she has to know that I'm
capable of other things

so that she can be
capable of other things.

I don't want her to grow up--

- I'm not--
- And think

this is all there is.

I want her to grow up and think

my mother was a great
person, she was strong,

and she worked, and she made her mark!

- You think my kids don't think that

their mother's a great person?
- No, you're great, Milly,

it's not you against me,
this isn't a competition,

we're different!

We're different!

- We're definitely different.

- I was beeping my horn
to get his attention,

he pulled me over to give me the ticket.

It's illegal to cross a
double yellow line, isn't it?

You're a lawyer, you know.

Yes I went to the clinic today,

I'll get my results this afternoon.

I'll call you as soon
as I know, I promise.

Look, what about this?

Can't you wait a few seconds

to tell me what to do about this?

You've gotta help me with this.

Well I got this letter that says

if I get another ticket, they're
gonna suspend my license.

I'm at Milly Fine's, I'm
here for a baby shower.

Yeah, I promise I'll call you.

Will you help me with this?

Okay.

All right, I'll call you back.

Okay, I'll call you as
soon as I know, I promise.

- [Gena] Molly!

- Oh, our queen spinster!

I know, (laughs) I know.

- Ta-da!

- Hi!
- Oh my God.

- Isn't it great?

- Oh Rosie--
- I didn't trust

the delivery guy.
- That's such a great duck,

wow!

- It's a stork!

It's not a duck.
- It looks like a duck, Rosie.

- [Gena] It looks like a duck. (laughs)

It does. (laughs)

- All that hard work, for what?

- It's beautiful, hi.

- Molly, how's everything going?

- It's going great.

I'm gonna go check and see
what's going on outside.

- Thanks sweetie.

- Do you have any hand cream?

- No.
- I get this thing on my neck

every time I go into ovulation.

- [Rosie] I'd never be an unwed mother,

that's something I would not do.

- [Gena] Really, you wouldn't do it alone?

- Not in a million years,

would I bring a child into the world

without knowing who their father was.

- Really, it's that important to you?

- Oh yeah!

I mean, if we had a child,

they'd obviously know that
Arnold was the father,

but I wouldn't, you know,

have 'em without being
married, absolutely not.

It's just...

Bless his heart, he loves
me and everything like that,

but I just don't think he's,

and he's not ready to be
married right now, and

he's also got two kids, they're grown,

and he doesn't really know

whether he wants to have
another child, and...

- Rosie, you should just do it.

You should just get pregnant.

- What, accidentally get pregnant?

- Come on, he loves you,
he wants you to be happy,

he wants you to have a baby.

- No he doesn't want me to have a baby.

Not really.

I mean, he's talking about
maybe in the future, some day.

- You don't have forever.

- I'm not gonna have a child

and fool him into
accidentally getting pregnant.

- Just do it, don't tell him, just do it.

- There are two types
of women in this world

who get accidentally pregnant.

Idiots and liars.

I can't believe you're even suggesting

that I would do that.

That's just, that's so, that's so wrong!

- You deserve this.

Give it a hug.
- Thanks Maggie, it's great.

I wanna give you a hug.

- Thank you.
- So happy for you.

- Thank you.
- It's just incredible.

- I know my baby will love it.

(splashing water)

- So what's new with
Anthony Thomas, movie star?

- Not a word.

Not a call, not a pretty face.

I haven't seen him since, I don't know.

Who knows, this guy's insane.

- Oh, he's unbelievable.
(Gena sighs)

Surprise surprise, I should be surprised.

That's unbelievable.
- You were right.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah I'm okay.

I'm okay.

- (deep voice) Oh, I
want you to have my baby.

(Gena laughs)

(splashing water)

- Every time I see a woman

in the shopping mall or something

and she's dressed really elegantly,

and her baby's dressed some pretty outfit,

I think, oh, I wanna do that.

I wanna do that!

You know what I do sometimes?

When I'm shopping, if
I see some baby clothes

that are on sale that look
really cute, I buy them!

And I take them home and
I put them in my box,

and I open up my box, and I fold it,

and I, I put it in there,
and I think, this is crazy!

I don't even have the
baby, why am I doing this?

And I--
- Gena, really?

- Is that weird?

I--
- Well it's not weird,

it's just, I think I'd feel
very superstitious about it.

You don't feel odd about that?

- I feel like it'll make it happen.

- I mean, it's very sweet!

- When I get really sad about it,

I take out my box, and I (chuckles)--

- So are they girl things or boy things?

- They're girl things.
- They're girl things!

- I want a girl.

Yeah.
- Oh.

Oh, I think you'll have a girl.

- And my things that were mine,

I wanna have a baby and
dress her up in my clothes.

(both laugh)
- Oh, God.

- Is that weird?

Am I crazy?
- Well no, it's not weird,

it's just you'll be so
horrified when she puts,

you know, purple with orange.
(Gena laughs)

It'll just be so terrible
for you. (laughs)

You know, I feel like
carrying a sign sometimes

behind Eliza that says, I
did not dress this child.

You know what I mean?

She did it herself, it was her idea.

- It is a Judy's Mommy-To-Be doll.

It's great, and inside
of her there's the baby,

and you can take it out,

and then her stomach goes completely flat,

just like she was never pregnant.

And you can open it up and put it back in

whenever you feel like being pregnant.

I got one for myself at the toy store.

I look at mine every morning, and...

(Diane laughs)

I do, because I wanna
be pregnant like you!

- You have to be really nice to us,

because we're the two at this table

with the least number of eggs.

(laughter)
(speaking simultaneously)

- That's very immature,

and I'm sure I have many
more eggs than you do.

(laughter)

- It doesn't work like that.

- You've gotta figure, if there is even

a 20 year range in our ages,
it's not predictable that way,

you can't say that.
- I'm 38,

how many eggs do I have left?

- How many do we have?
- Two.

- Well I can't hit it right on the head.

(speaking simultaneously)

- Well yes!

I mean, the whole thing
sounds like science fiction

if you describe it, thank you.
- Thank you!

- But a female embryo at
three to four months gestation

has seven million eggs.

By the time you're born,
it's dropped to two million.

So around--
- Explain--

- So for a fetus, you have--

- The clock starts before we're born?

- Oh yeah, you have all
your eggs, they're just old.

- That's nice.
(laughter)

So when we don't need
them, we have the most.

- Not only that, every
time an egg is released,

it becomes, there's a little scar tissue

on the outside of the ovary.

And then an egg can never be
released from that area again.

- Oh my God.
- So your ovaries

become like these dried up giant raisins.

They become this scar-tissued little nut

by the time you're 40, just
when you want to have kids!

- Oh my God.
- So that's

when menopause starts,
'cause when your ovary

is completely scarred and you have, like,

this giant raisin stuck in your side.

(laughter)

- She knows a lot of strange things,

she used to be a medical student.

- She's so depressing!

- So she became a performance artist.

She uses it all--
(laughter)

- In her act?
- Right!

- I'm a pediatrician,
but I'm also a woman,

so I do know that it's
unexplored territory.

It's not over when you're 40,

we're just starting to learn
about pregnancy after 40.

Because now, that's more the time,

in terms of economics,
in terms of our lives.

40 and up!

- [Roz] And you make a much better mother!

I mean, you're not in
competition with your kids.

- It's more like being a
grandparent, emotionally

in terms of the calm--

- (laughs) Hilda!
- The detachment.

No, excuse me, you don't
have that intense ego.

There can be some wonderful
wonderful benefits to it.

- I'm just goin' nuts right now!

- You know what I think is
so depressing, is c-sections.

Are you more likely to
have one if you wait?

- Gena, you know I had a c-section.

- I know, I don't know how you did it.

It's so scary to me.

- I'm telling you, when they come to you

and they say your baby's in distress

and we have to take your baby,
which limb would you like?

Just save my baby's life!

Who cares how they get
here, get them here!

(water splashing)

(all speaking)

- I want you to go in there
and be nice to everybody.

And have a wonderful time.

You're gonna see how terrific
it is to have a baby shower,

you see?
(Roz scoffs)

A baby shower is a wonderful thing!

- A baby shower is a disgusting
display of gaucheness.

I mean, it's giving people gifts.

They're manipulating people
into giving them things.

You're inviting people to a--
- It's not,

it's inviting people to come
and to share in your joy.

And to have a wonderful time.

- It isn't, it's saying--
- To see how beautiful

you look.
- Come and bring me a present,

I registered at blah blah.

- You watch Diane and you'll see

how she accepts a baby
shower, with grace--

- Because she's--
- And style.

- Of course she accepts
it with grace and style

because she's completely naive!

She got pregnant, she got married, she,

I mean, look at her, she's
young and she's glowing,

and people--
- You're young

and you're glowing.
- I'm not young--

- You're such a toughie!
- And I'm not glowing,

I'm fat--
- How did you turn out

like this?
- And everything's big, and--

(all speaking)

- I'm embarrassed, that's all.

I feel embarrassed about
this kind of display.

And if people wanted to give me gifts,

they would give me gifts afterwards,

and that would be wonderful.

- How 'bout a surprise baby shower?

- Oh, that's funny.

That's really funny, because--

- I'll give you a surprise baby shower.

- You can't give me a surprise,

'cause I wouldn't be
surprised, 'cause I'd know,

and you're manipulating me,

and I feel so embarrassed
by this whole thing,

and I, and I--

- And I love you.

- I love you too Milly, but
don't, that's manipulative too--

- Okay, okay.
- Because we're having

an argument about something
that's very valid to me,

and I think I--
- No you're arguing,

I'm not arguing.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- And anyway, I don't need a baby shower

because you buy me everything.

- Okay, I'll buy you everything.

(Roz laughs)

- Diane!

- Oh my God! (laughs)

Hi!
- Hi! (laughs)

How are you?
- What are you doing here?

I thought you were in--
- Well I came back early,

I couldn't miss this!

Look at all of this stuff!

- Thank you for coming,
I can't believe it!

- How are you?

- I'm fine, I'm really fine.

- This is for you.
- Thank you.

- Gee, now I think mine
looks really, like, homemade.

- No, it looks great.

- You had yours professionally wrapped.

- Let's go, let's go
give her the presents.

I'm so excited to be
here, another baby shower.

I think I'll shoot myself.

(all speaking)

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi Lucy.
- Lucy.

- I'm sorry.

- Well this is for you.
- Thank you!

Thank you so much.

(all speaking)

- Hey everybody, look at this surprise!

- Hi everybody!

- Hi!
- Hi.

- This is my baby sister, hello!

She's bigger than me, but she's the baby.

- Hi Lucy, hi Sylvia, how are you?

- You don't know everybody.

Who don't you know, baby?

- Thank you.

- Go ahead, put your present, sit down.

- You look terrific, you really do.

- See?
- You look terrific, honey.

- Who's coming first?
- You want more water?

- We're a day apart!

We're a day apart, and--

- Yeah, a day, literally.

(all exclaiming)

Okay okay okay, it says,

okay, it says, Diane, for
the little one, love Sylvia.

(all speaking)

Oh my God, Rock-a-Bye Bunny!

(all oohing and aahing)

- Have you seen these?
- No!

- Turn it on, it sounds just like

the inside of your womb, listen.

(all speaking)

(shushing)

- Really great.

- The baby, it kicked!

And when the baby kicks,
I sing this little melody,

and it's Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

(all laugh)

And the baby calms down,
it just calms down.

(all speaking)

♪ Twinkle twinkle little star ♪

♪ How I wonder what you are ♪

♪ Up above the world so high ♪

♪ Like a diamond in the sky ♪

♪ Twinkle twinkle little star ♪

♪ How I wonder what you are ♪

♪ Then the traveler in the dark ♪

♪ Thanks you for your tiny spark ♪

(all laugh)

♪ He would not know which way to go ♪

♪ If you did not twinkle so ♪

♪ Twinkle twinkle little star ♪

♪ How I wonder what you are ♪

♪ When the blazing sun is gone ♪

♪ When she nothing shines upon ♪

♪ Then you show your little light ♪

♪ Twinkle twinkle all the night ♪

♪ Twinkle twinkle little star ♪

♪ How I wonder what you are ♪

- [Diane] Baby liked that a lot.

(all chuckle)

- [Roz] Here, open this.

(all exclaiming)

(all speaking)

- Diane, my mother couldn't
wait another minute

for a grandchild, so she went
ahead and embroidered this.

I give it to you for
yours, with love, Lucy.

- So there's a cover with it, too.

- [Diane] Precious.

(all exclaiming)

- It's a bathing suit.

- I love that!

(all speaking)

- What'd you give her?

- I gave her a one-year
rental on a breast pump.

- A breast pump.
- Yeah.

- Meant to, oh.

- You don't have kids.

- No, I don't have kids.

No, I won't be having kids.

(all speaking)

I endorse all of this.

I love this.
- Yeah.

- You know, if this is her choice,

if Diane wants to have a baby,
Diane should have a baby.

- Yeah, especially now.
- Now, a lot of people

are having babies

because they think they
should have a baby.

- Mm-hmm, that's true, that's very true.

- You see?

It's the right thing.

I think it's a selfish move.

- How long have you been married?

- Um, let's see, it was
two years in October.

- Me too!

In December, two years.
- In December, two years?

- Yeah.
- Wow.

- Do you have kids?

- No--
- Two years, I guess not.

- I have a stepson who's a teenager.

- Oh great.

- And I'm trying to get pregnant.

- Oh you are?
- Yeah.

- You don't sound really complacent

with the decision to not have kids.

It sounds like there's a part of you

that's very drawn to the idea.

- See people always want
to hear that, you know?

- I mean people always,
"You must want a child!"

- And I say, "Babies."

And he says, "Uh-uh."

And all I wanted to do was
get outta that car and run.

- Oh man, we don't even say the B word.

It's like, the B word.

We don't (laughs) even
mention it, you know?

- We had the conversation,

then we didn't talk
about it for six months.

- It's the only thing we ever fight about.

It's the only thing.

We get along so good,
and I love him so much.

- Takes away your life.

- Or it gives you life.

- It gives you another life.

- Yeah.

There are philosophies,
like in the Eskimo culture,

where they feel that you
live the first 25 years

of your life for you.
- Mm-hmm.

- And then you give it over.

The baby, the same word for
baby is the word for king.

- No, I don't need you to come.

I don't, I haven't got the results yet,

there's no point in you coming here.

I'll call you later!

That's very sweet.

No.

- The Eskimo culture, that's cute and all,

but when you're raising
someone in this culture--

- Mm-hmm.

- Say, an African American male.

In this culture, in this environment.

I mean, there's no clean
air, there's no clean,

(laughs) there's no clean sex.

- If you're round
around, then it's a girl.

If you point, if you go straight out,

supposedly it's a boy.

Now, meanwhile, this time,
I feel like I could have

a baby out of each thigh, but--

(Diane laughs)
I'm having a boy.

- I was raised by a warrior mother.

She knew right away.

This child is not going
to be afraid of anything,

this child has to be a warrior.

She's being brought up in a
world that's hostile to her.

I don't wanna put my kids through this.

I'm telling you!
- I know.

- My mother put me through the paces.

- Yeah, I promise I'll call
you, please don't come.

Okay.

Did you have a good golf game?

(laughs softly)

Okay.

Yeah.

Me too.

Bye-bye.

- Gena, this really bothers me!

- What?

- Are you seriously thinking
about having a baby with James?

He's not right for you, he's a suit.

(Gena laughs)

He's square!
- I'm a suit!

- I know, but you're groovy inside.

You've got so much to give!

Don't like start settling!

Don't read these women's magazines!

Don't watch television and start thinking,

oh my God, I'm worthless
now, I need this, this kid.

And this, this husband with the right job.

- Am I supposed to wait for Mr. Perfect,

Mr. Ideal, that doesn't even exist?

I know he's not exactly right for me.

I want that feeling, I wanna have it!

But, he's got this and
he's got that, and--

- What, do you think
you should have a baby,

then it's gonna come?

- Maybe, I don't know.
- Shouldn't you start

with a little sparkle?

I always--
- I tried that!

I tried that once.

I tried it with Anthony.

And I was crazy about
him, I was so mad for him,

I used to roll around on the
floor because he wouldn't call,

and I would be in tears.

Do I need that again?

- Now you're associating men
who you're really attracted to,

men who really spark you,

into men who screw you over.

And now you're going for
real safe guys like James.

Oh, they're so benign, aren't they.

You have a nice little car.

Oh, you have the right little dresses.

But where's your life?!

It's wrapped around some man!

- I wanna have a baby,
I wanna have a family.

I want what I had when I was
a little girl, but in reverse.

I wanna be on the other end.

It's time I grew up, okay?

I have to grow up now.

- It's a tape.

- I was in the studio the other day,

and I was thinking about you.

And this song sort of popped out.

If it's okay, I'd like to
sing it for the baby now.

- Aw.

♪ You are a gift from above ♪

♪ Sent to me in love's embrace ♪

♪ And I could watch your face ♪

♪ For hours ♪

♪ Just looking at me ♪

♪ Unafraid ♪

♪ All those plans I made before ♪

♪ Will they seem much
more like daydreams now ♪

♪ That you are a part of the plan ♪

♪ I have come to understand ♪

♪ Yes, I know that ♪

♪ You will leave me ♪

♪ You will leave in time ♪

♪ But now while you sleep ♪

♪ You are still completely mine ♪

(all speaking)

- [Woman] She loves it.

(laughing)

- It's beautiful.

(all speaking)

- [Milly] Lunch everyone, come on!

- Oh yes, that's all I need is lunch.

(all speaking)

- It seems to me that

most of the women that are having children

are the ones that shouldn't
be having children,

because they're all having
them for the wrong reasons.

And I know that's why I've
held off having a child,

because I wanna be sure
that I'm a clear person,

that I've worked through all
of my issues, emotional issues.

Because if you're an abused person,

you're just gonna turn
around and abuse your kid

if you don't work these things out.

(all speaking)

- I mean it's life, and rebirth.

And there comes a time

when life is about bringing up new life.

- Yeah.
- Giving over,

giving over the focus.
- Giving, exactly, giving.

- I'm so sick of having
my life be about me.

- I want Christmas present, I want it.

You know, it's like
I'm so sick of holidays

without presents under my tree!

- If you're ignorant about your body,

then you can just say, oh,
nature took its course.

And, oh, I got pregnant,

so therefore that's the road I go down.

But if you're responsible,

in this day and age,
every woman should know

how to get pregnant and
how not to get pregnant.

I mean, it's only 48 hours a month,

it's not a big deal that
you keep your legs closed.

- Do you think you'll ever have a baby?

- Oh, I'm sure I will.

- You're sure?

- Mm-hmm.

- How are you so sure?

- Well, because my belief is
that the Lord will provide.

I believe in Jesus Christ,
and I live by faith.

- Well what if he doesn't
come through for you?

- He's come through so far.

- He has?
- Yeah.

- If you want a boy--
(laughs)

You should lie in missionary
position, and you can try--

- I thought you said you

have to have an orgasm?
- To have an orgasm.

Yeah, well it helps to have an orgasm,

because then the sperm--
- Well that's good!

- The male sperm swims faster

and it gets to the egg quicker.

Where the female sperm are
stronger, but they're slower.

So they thrive in an acid environment.

Which, if you wanna have a boy--

- Do you guys mind if we
talk about something else?

I mean, you know, I don't mean to be rude.

This is all we've talked about.

People have been doing
this for millions of years.

How do you think we got here?

Let's, you know, everyone here,
I'm sure, has other things.

They're intelligent, interesting women,

they can talk about other things.

- I wanna talk about astrological signs.

- Oy.

- So is this gonna be
immaculate conception?

- No, no, he's gonna provide a man.

And we're going to...

- He's gonna provide a man?

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- Is this gonna be a man that you like?

Or he's gonna--

- Oh, I'm gonna be in love with him.

I've asked very specifically
for what I want.

- How can you be so sure
that he's gonna give you--

- Because he says in his word--

- a man that you're gonna be in love with?

- He says in his word,
"Ask, and you shall receive.

"Seek, and ye shall find.

"Knock, and the door will be opened."

- They did a study in Japan
on gender differences.

- Boy, girl.
- Yeah.

They took babies of all
nationalities, boys and girls,

at about the age where they
could turn themselves over,

between four and six months.

And they put them in cribs
lying on their tummies.

The girls kicked and cried and screamed

until they turned themselves over.

They kinda used that energy
to propel themselves over.

The boys kicked and cried and screamed

until somebody else came (laughs)--

- Ah, you're kidding!
- And picked them up

and turned them over.

- You believe that you'll have it.

Now what happens--
- I absolutely believe--

- If you turn 50--
- I'm gonna have it.

- And you can't have a baby anymore.

- Sarah!
- And he--

- Sarah had Isaac when she was 90!

- Oh well, (laughs) there you go!

- 90!
- There you go!

And you're gonna a baby when you're--

- We're talkin' faith!

I mean, Abraham and Sarah!

- I can't do this.

I can't do this.

You believe that you're gonna
have a baby when you're 90?

(shouting) You can't have a
baby when you're 90, wake up!

- Why not?

Why not?
- You really think

you can have a baby when you're 90?

- Sarah did.

- [Susan] Uh, tell me
what you're feelings are

about having babies.

Tell me about babies.

- Babies.

I always thought I was gonna have a baby.

And now I'm at this point,
which I can't believe,

which is the middle or something,

toward the middle of my life.

And I feel like, wait a minute,
somebody else has my life.

I mean, I had this list of things to do.

And one of them was have a baby.

And I think that was like
somewhere in the '80s, to do this.

- I think that it's really important

for someone like myself
(laughs) to have babies,

because I have good genes.

And I think that genes are
very important in this world.

And all my brothers and sisters
have very good features.

And, and I'm bright.

I was in all the advanced
classes in school.

- I have four nieces.

And when I play with them
or I change their diapers,

I see my family in their faces.

And then it becomes very personal for me,

and I realize that I might not
see my face reflected back.

- I thought sure by now

I would have at least one or two children.

And the fact that I haven't makes me feel

like I've been left out
of this secret society.

The society of being mother.

- I often feel like I have
a big sign on my forehead.

Uh, I'm desperate and I'm
vulnerable, and so forth.

I mean, the media, the
propaganda out there

tells you that you're more apt

to be kidnapped by a
terrorist than you are

to be with a mate successfully
and have children.

- I'm part of the first
generation of women, I think,

who were raised both ways.

As children, I played with babies,

I had little dolls, I
thought I would have a baby.

And then when I got to
college in the '70s,

I went to a woman's college

at the height of the woman's movement,

whose fatal flaw, I think, was that

they never found a way to value that,

to value having children.

- My child, my baby.

See, that's the thing that feels so bad.

My baby.

I'd love to be able to say my baby.

Why is that so powerful?

My baby.

- I'm too selfish to do it.

You know, I just can't do it.

I feel like my body can't do it,

my breasts'll never get big enough,

I can't shop for all those clothes.

- Oh stop, why do you worry about things

before they even occur?

- I can't do it, I, I
can't, I can't even conceive

of the fact of somebody
growing inside of my body,

it just freaks me out,

it makes me nervous.
- Would you just relax.

Just relax.

- I can't relax about it.

- It isn't enough that we
had to bring a present.

We also had to bear our
soles to roving cameras.

- Right?
- This is ridiculous.

(speaking simultaneously)

I don't know.
- God, we're gonna be

on the 6:00 news, just--

(laughs)

- Humiliating ourselves.

- What are you knitting anyway?

You're not a mother yet.

- Oh, well, this isn't,
this is for the man

who is not going to have
a baby with me, but--

- This is ridiculous, why are
you knitting him a sweater?

- Hi, this is Gena Wistrom,
do you have my results?

I was in there this morning.

Well how long will it take?

Okay, I'll call you back.

Um, when I call you back,

when you, if you say, uh,
negative, it means I'm not, right?

And positive means I am, right?

- So let's say that somebody wants to,

a woman wants to get pregnant,

and she doesn't have a lotta time.

What would she have to do
in order to get pregnant?

- Uh, well, and you say she
doesn't have a lotta time--

- Yeah.
- Which adds pressure.

'Cause my first advice
is always not to treat it

as if you have an ailment,
or that there's a problem.

And that's for anything
to do with pregnancy.

'Cause you gotta relax.

And of course, if you're trying to relax,

it's a very un-relaxing thing.

- Right. (chuckles)

- But, I mean--

- And also, she wants it to be a boy.

I mean, that's--
- Oh,

you wanna plan the gender.

- Not me, not me, somebody.
- I mean, the she.

- Right.

- Are you premenstrual?

(Gena laughs)
What's the problem?

You're so sad.
- I feel very hormonal,

I don't...

I think I'm pregnant.

- Oh God.

- I'm two weeks late.

- You are?
- Yeah. (cries)

- Are you ever late?

- No. I'm never late.

- You're never late?
- Never.

Never late.

- Gena.

- I know, I know it.

- You know, you can get a test.

- Waiting to hear today.

- In terms of planning gender, there's,

the most foolproof,
and it's not foolproof,

is sperm spinning, which
is that you actually do it

through artificial insemination.

I mean, you, you know, you get the sperm.

And there's the X, which
is the female chromosomes,

and the Ys.

And you spin it.

And they separate.

And then you implant, you know,

it's just like artificial insemination,

just the, in that case,
of whoever that is,

it would be the Y.
- Yeah, well, if the guy,

though, I mean, you don't,

can he spin his sperm before he puts?

- No, no no no, he has
to go to the doctor--

- Oh.
- And ejaculate.

- I don't know what I'm gonna do.

- What about James, have
you told him about it?

- Oh yeah, yeah.

- So, so what does he say?

- He wants it, he's...

- Of course.

- He's Mr. Perfect. (laughs)

I know.
- Of course he does.

So he wants to get married tomorrow, and--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, and...

- So it's scary, right?

- I don't know how to do this.

You know, I mean, every
relationship I'm in,

I have my escape plan
already worked out, I know.

I do, I know--
- You are so fucked up.

- What I'm gonna take
with me when I leave,

I have it all planned out!

I don't know how to be an us,
I don't know how to be we,

I know how to be me.

- In terms of impregnation,

you hear all different things
about different positions.

It depends on what
condition you're treating.

I mean, there's certainly--

- Rear entry, is that?

- Rear entry is one.

I mean, it's a matter of
retaining as much as you can.

There's also just pillow under the hips

and feet to the ceiling.
- Yeah.

- But a lot of it has
to do with the sperm.

Heat inhibits the sperm,

and so the man should
not wear tight underwear,

should not take a hot bath
five days before ovulation.

So always--
- But he can take a bath,

but just not a hot bath.

- Yeah, it's just heat, to avoid heat.

- Just look at the situation.

Here's a man that's crazy about you,

that would do anything
for you, and you want out.

Every other minute you're telling me

that you want outta this.
- I know--

- Now why--
- I'm crazy!

- Well no, it's--

- It's because I'm always evolving.

I feel like what I wanna become

changes next year.

It's like my lipstick.

I used to always use sherry
last year, you know--

(Roz laughs)
when they had that line?

No seriously, listen!

And then they came out
with this thing toffee.

And I thought, why was I
using sherry last year?

I should have been using toffee!

- But that's okay!
- And next year

they'll come up with something better,

that I should have been using this year!

And I'll think, God, why was
I using toffee all that time?

Why was I with James?

Do you understand what I'm saying?

- Listen, lemme tell you something--

- How do I make that permanent decision

where I've got his genes inside my genes?

I just don't know how to do it,

I don't know how to (groans frustratedly).

- You need to abstain for a
few days before ovulation,

except in certain cases.

There are women who have only one tube,

and it's scarred, and
they advise sometimes

to make love every day,
and I've seen that work.

- (sighs) Okay, okay.

- Why was it so easy for our mothers?

They got married, they had children.

- They didn't have any choice.
- They didn't have to

go through this process.

They didn't ask themselves,
do I wanna have a baby,

how am I gonna have a baby,
will you have a baby with me.

They just, it just seemed to happen.

In one generation, this whole thing

seemed to have completely disintegrated.

We went to college.

- I know, I think this was a big mistake.

(laughs)
I'm ready to go back.

- You think mothers have it bad, you know,

elephants have to carry around
their baby for two years.

Two years!

I mean, can you imagine
carrying around two years?

And then they have it and they
raise it all by themselves.

They get no help whatsoever.

I mean, if you were like a possum,

you could, like, have
a gestation for, like,

eight to 11 days and be done with it.

You know, and then if you
want or you don't want it.

But if you're an elephant,
you got no choice.

(slow sweet music)

- Gena.

Hi.

I just want to apologize
for possibly hurting you.

That wasn't my intent,

and I didn't meant to come
off like a religious zealot.

But I saw something in your eyes.

And I wanted to try to help
you get to an understanding

of what that is.

- Susan.

- Milly, hey!

- What are you doing?

- Oh you know what,

I'm actually just getting some atmosphere.

You know, you have such a--

- What do you mean, atmosphere?

- Well, you have such a beautiful place,

I just thought it'd be so
nice for Diane to have, like,

your home in it, where we had the party?

- Susan, you're videotaping the wet bar.

- (laughs) It's just so lovely!

- I asked you to do the people,

I really want, you know,
to talk to the women and,

about babies, and?
- Okay.

Mil, I understand.

I know, I just thought it'd be nice.

You don't want me to do this?

- No.
- Okay.

Okay, I'll get back to the party then.

- Okay.

- Okay, doc.

If everything is perfect,
I mean seemingly perfect,

with me, and my husband's
sperm is really high,

his count's really high,
the motility's terrific.

Why is it, um, so hard to get pregnant?

When everything's optimum like that?

- Well, there, there is an instance

where the woman can actually
be allergic to the man's sperm.

And you develop antibodies,

and you have actually
an allergic reaction.

- I don't know what to do about
that, about the man thing.

But it's the big thing for me.

I can't do it singly, I don't want to.

I don't wanna be inseminated

with one of those turkey basters,

because that's just not romance to me.

- Before I can have a child,

I have to have somebody I
love to have the child with.

Because I can't get excited
about a generic concept.

- Children have to come out of the love

between a man and a woman.

- I'm sure that I'm never gonna find

a man that I can connect with,

because the kind of connection that I want

is the kind that I have with women.

And the truth is, is men are not women.

- Every time I get into a
relationship with someone,

they either are afraid of commitment,

or, you know, they don't
wanna have children.

- I was married for several
years, to a wonderful man.

But unfortunately, he felt
that in order to have a child,

you had to be able to
demonstrate that life worked.

And he didn't feel his life worked.

- The man that I love is not
interested in being a father.

In fact, he's only
interested in being a baby.

Just my luck.

- I think I could give it
all up to have a child,

and I don't know that he would.

- And I don't know

whether it's something
I have to fight for.

And whether it's worth risking my marriage

to fight for that.

- I love my man so much,

and I know that if we had a
child, it would be wonderful,

but I'm afraid to take that leap.

Also because I'm afraid that

maybe our relationship would change,

and I don't know here it would go.

- At this point, it's unbelievable.

I mean, people call up
and they're very nice,

and they say, "Would you
like to go to dinner?"

And I say (scoffs), "Dinner?"

I mean, I've gone to dinner for
years and it's done no good,

I have to have a child.

♪ It's just like lookin'
for a needle in a haystack ♪

♪ Searching for a moonbeam in the blue ♪

♪ Still, I've gotta find you ♪

♪ It's just lookin' for
a raindrop in the ocean ♪

♪ Searching for a dewdrop in the dew ♪

♪ Still, I gotta find you ♪

♪ Now I haunt the place
where we used to meet ♪

♪ Look at each face I pass on the street ♪

♪ Sometimes I hear the beat of your feet ♪

♪ But it's just imagination ♪

♪ Though it's like lookin'
for a needle in a haystack ♪

♪ Still I'll follow every little clue ♪

♪ For, I've gotta find you. ♪

- Having a child is the true
meaning of the word joy.

- Yeah, but what about your
relationship with your husband?

I mean, didn't that change
after you had your babies?

- Of course it changes.

Suddenly there's three of
you instead of two of you.

I mean--
- Does he feel

left out, or anything like that?

That's what I'm afraid of.

- Feels enormously left out at first.

But then, then it
becomes the three of you.

And the three of you is not a detriment.

You just become a new kind of a unit.

- I get this letter from the sperm bank

that I've wrote away to,
to get the information.

And in it, they say thank you so much

for choosing our lab as your donor,

as your choice for donor semen.

- Yeah?
- Which kinda means

they're saying thank you for picking us

to be the father of your baby.

- And that touches you?

- Yeah.

- Even if the smallest part of you

thinks that you wanna have a baby,

then you have to go ahead with it.

'Cause otherwise you're gonna
turn around when you're 65

and you're gonna say,
"I didn't have a baby!"

- So I look at the list,

and I get to pick out from eye
color, weight, education, um,

I don't get to see the person.
- You know

most of these guys are like

these 19-year-old students
who need 20 bucks.

- 18 to 35, 18 to 35.

They tell you what their major is

or what their subject is.

Like, I don't think I wanna pick an actor,

I don't think he would
be a very good father.

I was thinking there was one subject

that was a biochemistry and pre-med.

- I feel 50/50.

Sometimes I want one
and sometimes I don't,

and I don't know which the,
which way to go with it.

- It's easy, you'll have a baby.

You'll have a baby boy.

With big blue eyes, like yours.

And yellow hair.

And a little t-shirt.
(Rosie laughs)

And he'll be running, out
there in the garden, look.

See, you see him running?
(Rosie laughs)

Climbing a tree, jumping up and down.

"Mommy!" he'll say.

Right?

It's not hard.

It's not hard.

♪ Though it's like lookin'
for a needle in a haystack ♪

♪ Still I'll follow every little clue ♪

♪ Because I've gotta find you ♪

- I feel like people that have children

abdicate their own lives.

And as for myself, I
wanna retain my crown,

I wanna live my own life.

- There's no guarantee,

once you sacrifice
everything for this baby,

that it's going to love you back.

- I respect the pro-choice movement,

but I wanna know why all
the support for pro-choice

only seems to occur after conception.

There doesn't seem to be
that same kind of support

for women that have made
the decision pre-conception

not to have them.

- You know, they're lovely
when they're three years old.

But then they grow up,

and they hate you at some point.

Some of them hate you forever.

I have friends who are not
speaking to their parents,

30 years old.

I could kill my child for that.

- I don't wanna go back to my childhood

in any way, shape, or form.

I wasn't wild about it.

- Once you have a baby,
you're no longer the baby.

See, my husband gives me baths,

and he gives me the attention I need.

I go to bed every night with satisfaction.

That's all over once you have a baby.

- Every year I go to my gynecologist,

and every year she asks me,
"Do you wanna have children?"

And every year I tell her, "No I don't."

And then she always says to me,

"Well, do you want counseling about that?"

And, you know, I just,

I don't know what kinda message
that sends forth to women.

You know, it's like, if you
don't wanna have children,

there's something wrong with you.

- I don't think it's necessary

to bring a child into this world.

I think people should pay
attention to the children

that are brought into
this world and dumped.

- She's not gonna preserve
this posterity, is she?

I mean, this isn't gonna
be shown to the children--

- Oh no, no more of this.

Enough.

Don't say another thing.
- Please, listen to her.

- I'm her representative.
(laughter)

- I want you to come home.

Because I wanna talk to you.

No, it's important.

Mark, it's not a big deal,
you're right up the driveway.

You built the office right next to the...

I am asking you to come home
for five minutes to talk to me,

because it's important.

Can you do that?

Would you please do that?

All right.

Yes, now.

Yes, I'll meet you in the kitchen.

Thank you.

(slams phone)

- I would like to have a child personally.

I think it would be an amazing experience.

- She wants to do it.

I don't know, the stretch
mark thing, you know?

I'm a little more vain,
perhaps, than this one, but.

- I think it would be incredible.

- Yeah, maybe.
- But, you know,

there are problems when
you have, you know,

who goes to the PTA meetings

once you have the baby, you know.

- How do we, how do we,

do they call them both mommies?

Is one an aunt?

And if there's all those pressures

of coming from a gay home,
how do we let them know

that it's okay--
- And kids are really,

kids are nasty, too.

- No, but I also, but it's like,

how do you let them know that
it's okay to be straight?

How do you let them know that...

- They don't have to
be like us, it's okay.

- They don't have to be like us.

- Right.
- How do we tell,

you know, we love you
and we want you to be

however you wanna be, but how do we not

over-impose our views
on this little being?

It's so, I don't know, it's hard.

It's hard for me, it's hard for me to,

I feel very nervous about it,

'cause I'm such a
perfectionist, that I wanna do--

- I know.
- Everything right.

I wish there was a book on gay parenting.

I'm sure there is.
- I'm sure there is.

- You should write it!
(laughs)

- I feel this surge of
energy going through me.

- (scoffs) From where?

- I feel like I'm hooked
up to a sperm machine.

- It's hard, it's hard.

And, well, for us, it's especially hard,

because it's not like you have, you know,

one day you get pregnant all of a sudden.

It's something you have to plan,

and you have to decide
how you're going to do it.

- You have to decide how
to explain to the child

that it comes from a test tube.

I mean, it's, you know.
(both laugh)

- Or your friend next door.

- Do you feel sexy?

- Oh, God.

Well I, I, love sex.

I don't feel particularly sexy, no.

I mean, I sorta feel like a--
- How do you have sex

when you're like this?

- Well, the usual way. (laughs)

- Really?

- Well, not necessarily.
- I mean, well, no,

I guess not exactly, no no
no, but there are ways--

- That's not true.
- What I should say is

there are ways, and it's
fun, and it's funny.

But you feel like an ad
for National Geographic

or something.
(giggles)

- It doesn't get squashed?

- Well it does get squashed--
- Yes, it does get squashed.

- In the missionary position,

so you just don't do that anymore.

But, you know, there are
lots of ways to have fun.

We had more sex at the end
of the last pregnancy than,

you know, than I could
remember ever having,

- Really?
- Just to try

to bring on labor. (laughs)

- You're lucky.

- The thing is,

it's such an unnatural--
- Why, are you not having sex?

(laughs)

(smacks lips)

- No sex?

- Niet, nein, no.

- Do you feel like it?
- Why?

- Uh-uh, I don't.

But I feel sexy though.

I don't feel--

- You feel sexy, but
you don't feel like sex.

- Not at all.

- See for me it's such a relief

not to have to deal with birth control.

- Every month, when the time is right,

we try and get pregnant.

And then I try not to
think about it too much,

but how can I not think about it,

it's all I can think about.

So I try and distract myself,
but I can't distract myself.

And then if I don't get
my period, if I'm late,

I'm happy, but I try not to be too happy.

And then I do, and then I'm sad,

and I try not to be too sad.

- I've been going to an
infertility specialist

for a couple of years now.

I've spent about a year on Clomid,

which is the most miserable
drug in the world.

And timing everything, and
taking the temperature,

and doing the whole thing.

- I had a laparoscopy, when they go

and do exploratory surgery
and they see everything.

And everything was fine.

They did an MRI and everything was fine.

And when they say everything's fine,

then you realize how little people know.

- I could adopt,

and that's something that
I've thought about as well.

I've thought, you know, of
doing the Josephine Baker thing

and, you know, adopting third
world children from all over.

- But that's not really the same thing.

I want it to come out of me.

Yeah, I want it come out of me.

I want it to kinda look like me.

I want it to be able to talk like me,

so I can have conversations with it.

Her.

I wanna have a girl.

- There was a painting here last night.

Where is the painting?

Where is it?

- As far as I'm concerned,
(laughs) it's there,

that's where it is!

- Oh, that's really funny.

- What, what do you want me to say?

It's there, it's there!
- I want--

- Of course it's not there!
- Shh, be quiet!

- Be quiet, for who!

Who should I be quiet for?!

- There's all those
women in the other room.

Just tell me where the painting is.

Where is the painting?
- You know where

the painting is, what's
the matter with you?!

You know exactly where it is.

Okay?

We talked about this thing

we talked about all these things.

- Where is the painting?
- They're being re-evaluated,

that's what they're being.
- Re-evaluated.

- That's right, re-evaluated.

- For what?
- For what?!

For insurance purposes,
don't you understand that?

We talked about it over and over again,

we talked about fire
insurance, the house itself.

- Look at me.

Look at me.

- What do you mean, look at you.

- Where are my mother's pearls?

- With your mother, I
don't know where they are.

- Mark.
- Whatsa matter with you?!

- Mark.
- Why are you asking me

these questions?!
- Mark!

I wanna know what's going
on, tell me right now.

- What's going on are these
things are being re-evaluated.

That's as simple as that.

- Good, then I want the
marriage re-evaluated.

- Hey, come over here and
don't do that to me, now,

please, please--
- Don't you!

- There are people
here, and don't do that.

- Oh, there are people here!

Oh now you're gonna tell
me there's people here?

- Listen--
- Get your hands off of

my arms!
- Listen!

Don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't you do this.

Don't do this.
- Don't do this.

- Talk to me now.

Talk to me now.

There's a re-evaluation

for a particular reason.
- Let go of my arms.

- I'm gonna let go of ya,

I don't want you to leave me.
- Let go of my arms.

- Just don't leave me.

- I won't leave.
- Just don't leave me.

- If you don't talk to me
and if you don't tell me--

- Okay.
- What the fuck is going on,

I will leave you faster

than the speed of light.
- It's real simple,

it's real simple.
- I will take

all three children--

(Mark shushing)
and I'll take everything

I can get my hands on.

Okay, I'm listening.

- Okay, you ready to listen?
- Talk to me.

Uh-huh.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- I'm just having these things

looked at because we happen,
at this point in time,

to need some money.

That's all!

- We need some money.
- It's as simple as that!

- 'Kay.
- So I want them

to look at it--
- How much money do we need?

- I don't know how much we need,

but just in case we,
we may need some money,

we do need some money--

- What do we need money for?

- For many reasons!

Do you know what's happening today?

- Mm-mm.

- Well, lemme tell ya something.

The market is in the shit house.

My business is real estate.
- (whispering) What are you

trying to tell me, what
are you trying to tell me?

- I'm not trying to tell you anything,

I'm trying to tell you
that I wanna know now

what this is worth, okay?

What the pearls are worth,
just in case, that's,

don't do that, please.

- Get me a drink.

I'd like a drink.
- I'll get you

all the drinks you want!
- Okay, I'm gonna sit down.

- Just, just, just listen to me.

- 'Kay, I'm listening.
- Listen to me.

Have you, have you trusted
me for all these years?

(Milly sighs)
Okay,

if everything's been cool?

- Maybe it was a terrible mistake.

- What is--?
- See, it's this thing that,

(gasps) that I'm really good at.

And I, I feel like I lost it, you know?

I lost the moment, and
I did this other thing,

which is a good thing to do too.

It's not that it's not a good thing to do

and it's not that I would trade it,

I wouldn't trade Billy and I
wouldn't trade meeting him,

and I wouldn't trade any
of those options, but

I, I was the best and
the brightest, you know?

I was supposed to be a star, and I,

and I really think, I mean I really think

if I'd made some different choices,

that maybe I could've done both.

I mean, some people do both, you know,

I was supposed to be a singer,

I know I was supposed to be a singer!

- But I thought that was...

Inconsequential compared to this.

Isn't this what it's really about?

- This doesn't stop the
need to be something,

it doesn't stop the need to,

to express yourself!
- Well you can have it all,

you can have everything!

- No, I can't.

You could, because you've
already established yourself

as a person, but I didn't.

I didn't establish myself as a person,

I just went ahead and had babies.

- But you've already taken care of that

restless feeling inside of you,

you don't have to worry
about who you love,

and who loves you, you've got them.

You've fulfilled your potential

as a woman that way!
- But you know,

what about the other restless feeling.

What about those other yearnings,

and what about that sense that

you have no idea what you're
gonna do with your life,

and that you're not
really properly equipped

to do anything because you waited too long

to do the things that you're good at.

And so you're just sort
of pushing and pushing

to figure out what it
is that you wanna do,

and you have no idea, and the
time is going by so quickly,

and one day you turn around,

and you've turned into
your mother, you know?

- What else?

- Want me to break each thing down?

I mean, what's the difference what else?

You don't wanna know each thing.

- Yes I do.

- Uh, I haven't paid the
mortgage for three months.

Okay?

- 'Kay.
- 'Kay.

The banks, all the banks
I've borrowed money from

in order to keep the
business going, you know?

So that's the banks.

But those are easy, because
those are big things.

The tough ones--
- (laughing) Those are easy.

- Well, they're easy, they're
not gonna change our life,

you know?
- What about the kids' school?

- Nothing's gonna change.

Nothing's gonna change.

- Did you already pay the tuitions?

- No.

But that's not gonna, not gonna matter,

I'm gonna get the money and
it's gonna be paid, 'kay?

So don't even think about that.

- How much do you owe the banks?

- There's one for 700,000,
there's another one for 300,000.

- What's one for 700,000?

- The bank loan.

You see, when you're in business,

you borrow money because
you're making money.

When you get money--
- We owe a bank $700,000.

- Then you pay them.

And we owe one 300,000.

We owe somebody else 900,000.

This is no big deal!

This is business!

The problem is, when the
money stops coming in,

then there's a problem.

Did you ever not have
anything you wanted in life?

Tell me that.

- What does that have to do with anything?

What are you saying to me?

- Every time something
happens, I should tell you?

What do you want me to do,
go through it during--?

- This is not something happening,

this is $700,000, and $300,000,
and the kids' tuitions,

and God knows what else.

What else, tell me what else--

- Milly, Milly, Milly!
- Why don't you just tell me

everything right now?

- The things you worry about is people.

I never hurt any people.

I hurt groups of people.

You know, I don't mean
groups of people, I mean,

I mean institutions.

If I owe an institution,
I don't feel so badly.

The bad thing is Diane.

She's sitting there,
having a wonderful party.

- Uh-huh.
- She's gotta get let go,

temporarily, okay?

Because I cannot keep her.

If she stays and she leaves
because of pregnancy,

I have to pay her through the pregnancy.

And I can't do that, I can't afford it.

- It's awful late for that, isn't it?

- I gotta let her go now!

It's not late.

I let her go now.

I explain to her, I'm sorry,

she'll be back--
- I'm giving this woman

a baby shower, and you're
gonna go in and fire her?

In the middle of a shower?
- I'm not gonna fire her,

I'm gonna let her go now,
that's all I'm gonna do.

And I want you to come into
the office and take her place.

- You're gonna sell the
house, and you're gonna

sham the money--
- I didn't say

we're gonna do--
- And you're gonna fire Diane.

- I didn't say we're gonna do anything.

- We're gonna take the kids outta school.

- I did never say that!
- And we're gonna go

live in downtown LA.
- I never said that!

Listen, we're gonna work
together, just like the old days.

Do you remember the fun we had?

We used to work late,
and we'd have the chili,

and we laughed, and we'll do it again!

- I don't know how to do that anymore.

Don't you understand?

I don't, I don't remember
how to take shorthand.

I don't know how to type.

I only know how to be a mother.

I only know how to go to lunch, okay?

How long has this been going
on, why wouldn't you tell me?

What kind of marriage is this?

- What do you mean don't
tell you, I've told you,

I said that we--
- I spent my whole life

being on your arm.

I spent my whole life being
a mother to three children

and your wife, that's what I
decided to do with my life.

I spent this whole day
telling all of these people

that it didn't matter
to me that I never had--

- [Mark] Don't don't don't, come here.

- I gotta bunch of people in the house.

- Don't, don't.

Don't leave me!

Please!

- I read recently, I don't know where

and I don't know if it's right,

but something like 8,000 women a year

over the age of 40 have first children.

That's incredible.

I think they must all live in Los Angeles.

- I keep checking my birth certificate

because I think someone made a mistake.

Both my sisters look older.

But I'm really 37.

So, I guess that means that,
uh, my plumbing's 37 too.

- It's so frightening to
be over 35 and single.

I'm divorced.

You feel like you've been
requisitioned to men who are 48,

and they have two
children in other states,

and ex-wives in other
countries, and, you know,

their interest in, you know,
a kind of a diaper experience

isn't all that keen.

- I go through different phases with this.

Like, I'm into major denial.

And that's when I'm happy and
young, and it's all right.

And then I wake up in
the middle of the night

and I realize that I'm not that young,

and that my time is running out,

and I don't have anyone I zing with.

- We have these incredibly complicated,

beautiful reproductive systems,

but the truth of it is, they're primitive.

We're not ready now to have
children until, realistically,

if I had another 10 or 12
years, that'd just be great.

We're talking about having
babies when we're 45 or 50 now.

- We weren't planning this.

It just happened, you know?

- What do you mean just happened?

- Well, you know, just happened.

I mean, it wasn't
something that was planned.

- Well aren't you taking,

weren't you taking birth control pills

or something?
- Well, I was,

I was on the pill, but I went off of it

and I'd been using a
diaphragm, and, you know.

- What'd you do, just
throw you diaphragm out?

What do you mean you just--?
- Well I had...

Look, it's not such a big deal, you know?

I had some champagne and I
just didn't feel like using it.

(Rosie exhales loudly)
I forgot!

- You forgot?!

How could you forget, Gena?!

- Why do we have to wait for some man

to decide when we're gonna
use our bodies to reproduce?

- The man is gonna end up resenting you.

James is gonna have an
underlying resentment

that you manipulated him and
trapped him into something

that he wasn't a part of.

- But I don't know whether I
wanna be with him or not, okay?

- Why are you gonna have a baby

with somebody you don't know
if you're gonna be with?

If you need--
- I don't--

- To have a baby so much, adopt.

There are thousands of
kids in this city alone

that need mothers.

Why bring another one--?
- Why don't you adopt then?

- Because I think that
I might have a chance

to have a baby with Arnold.

- You've been with him many years now.

- I told him up front, I said listen,

if you don't wanna have a baby with me,

you gotta tell me now so I won't be

so emotionally invested
in this relationship--

- But you already are!
- And I'll go

find somebody else!

- You already are!

What are you waiting for?

- For it to be--
- What?!

(both laugh)
Waiting for what?!

- I'm waiting for him to say
yes, now it's time to, because

I don't wanna do it alone!
- You're waiting for him

to say yes it's okay.
- Yeah, because he's--

- What if he doesn't say it?

- I'd kill him.

- When I think about how

the body's natural response
to a wound is to heal,

it reminds me of how I
feel that a woman's urge

to have a baby, or her
desire to have a baby,

is a way of the body healing itself.

And I feel that it's
so strong and powerful,

and that in some ways,

that's why we feel that we're not whole,

or I feel that I'm not
whole by not having a baby.

It's as if I've been wounded.

And if I'd get to have the
baby, I'm gonna be healed.

- What I've done in order to ensure

that children might one
day be a part of my life,

uh, I, believe me,

I never planned on doing
it non-traditionally,

but I have a very dear old family friend,

close friend to me.

He is gay.

He is HIV negative, he has been for years.

And I will have a child with him.

- I think the danger here is

coming off sounding a little
privileged and complaining,

and I think that it's no small feat

to have achieved a kind
of financial independence.

I think that for my generation of women,

if we've achieved anything,

we've been pioneers in being
financially independent.

But I'm simply acknowledging the cost.

Which is that we've learned
how to take care of ourselves,

but we're lonely because

we're not taking care of anyone else.

I don't really feel like I'm
living my life as a woman,

I'm living my life as a very
highly evolved, sensitive man.

- (sighs) Are you sure?

(chuckles)

Okay!

Okay, thanks.

(sighs heavily)

(sighs)

- [Diane] Hi guys.

- Hi.
- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I just needed to go the bathroom.

I'm always going to the bathroom,

my life is the bathroom.

(knocking)
- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm looking for Gena Wistrom?

- She, I don't know where she is.

- I saw her earlier.
- Maybe she's inside?

- Is Milly here?

(women all speaking)

- Milly?
- Milly?

- Milly?
- Milly?

- [Milly] Yeah?

- You have a guest.

- Hi Milly.
- Hi James!

- How are you?
- I'm fine,

how are you?
- Fine.

I'm looking for Gena?

- Sure.

Do you want me to get you?

Oh, you have.
- No, I'm fine.

- I'll get her.

Gena?

Gena?

- [Woman] Where is Gena?

(background chatter)

- You're not going to
jail, it's an infraction.

- (laughs) What are you doing here?

Uh, let's go outside.

Come on, go outside.

- I think having a baby
is the female equivalent

of men joining the marines,

and I'm sorry I haven't
been man enough to do it.

- There's nothing I can
do about it on my own.

If there were, I would
just reproduce myself.

- I don't care if I ever get married.

(laughter)

I don't care if I ever have a baby.

I'm never going to a shower again.

I've had it!

- Why'd you come, I told you not to come.

- I couldn't wait. (laughs)

Did you hear?

- Yeah. (clears throat)

Yeah, I heard.

- [James] And?

- Well what if I am?

What if I am pregnant?

Hmm?
- Great!

- Great?

- Yeah.

Great! (laughs)

We have an incredible opportunity.

- For what?

- For what, for a family, for life, for--

- To be together, right?

But is it being together
because we're having a family,

or being together because
you wanna be with me?

- Both.

Gena, I love you.

I...

What's the matter?
- I don't think

you know me, James.

I don't think you really
really know who I am.

- I know you.

- No!
- I think sometimes

I know you more than you do.

I don't think you know yourself!

- I think that you love the idea of me,

you love the idea of me having your baby,

you love--
- Yes I do.

- I feel like there's this
small part inside of me,

this very very alone
part that you don't know,

that is unfulfilled, that I
feel has to be filled, that,

before I can do this.
- Keep that!

Keep that, I mean, we all have that part--

- I don't wanna be separate!
- Of ourselves, right?

I don't wanna be, I wanna be attached,

and I don't feel like I can--

- But that's what a child is,

it's a symbol of that attachment!

It's--
- A child,

I'm talking about us.

- [James] This isn't the place
to have this conversation.

- I need to know that it's perfect!

I need to know that it's there!

- Look, there's no such thing

as perfection between two people.

I mean, two people that are
perfect for each other aren't!

I mean, if you're talking about--

- (tearfully) What if I'm not?

- What?

- What if I'm not pregnant?

- Are you or aren't you?

- No.

I'm not.

I'm sorry, I'm not.

I just...

- What, is this a game we're playing here?

You're pregnant or your not.

Why do you put it in the form of a game?

- I'm not pregnant.

I'm not gonna be pregnant with you, okay?

I can't do this with you.

I thought I could, I thought I could,

I was gonna just try and
see what would happen.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.

I'm sorry, (cries) I'm sorry, okay?

I just can't do this with you.

- Why?

- I just can't.

(tearfully) I'm sorry, okay?

- What are you doing?

Where are you going?

- No, I, I'll call you, okay?

I, don't call me.
- No.

No no no, let's, let's--
- I can't do this.

- Let's continue talking about this.

- No.
- Come on, come on.

(door slams)

- I literally have about
15 minutes to get pregnant.

Which means that I have to do it now.

Ready or not, now.

I'm not gonna make it, I
miss the bus, it's over.

The buck stops here.

All right, it stops here, that's fine,

I have the courage to live in this world

without replication of myself.

I am enough, I am enough.

It is not necessary to join the club,

to be a club member.

It is not necessary to buy baby furniture,

it is not necessary to
play childish games.

It is not necessary to lose oneself

in the process of repeating generations.

My life counts as it is.

(crying)

- What's going on?

- (crying) I'm not gonna have a baby.

- Gena!

Gena.

Not this time, maybe, but--

- No, I'm not gonna have
one, it's not gonna happen.

It's not gonna happen for me!

- Gena--
- I'm not gonna have my life,

I'm just always waiting
for my life, I'm just!

- Geez.

- (breathes deeply) I
can't do this anymore.

- Gena, some day you're gonna have a baby.

- Oh.
- I promise.

I promise you.

- I feel like I'm always
waiting for things to happen.

- Gena--

- I wanna be able to
(gasping) control my life,

and I can't control it, I
can't make things happen.

- Maybe you should let
things happen to you

instead of making things happen.

- I tried, I did, I just--

- No, no, no no no no, stop saying

you wanna control everything,
you couldn't possibly.

Nobody can control, I mean,

you know, you have an idea
about who you wanna be, and--

- I just feel like I'm
waiting all the time

for things to happen, it's not happening.

I'm sick of waiting!

- What's not happening,
why are you so upset?

You have, so you were two weeks late

and you had a pregnancy
test and it didn't--

- It's not just that, it's,

I'm waiting for my life to
happen so I can have my life,

and I'm not having it while I'm in it.

You know what I'm saying?
- Yes I do.

And I'm telling you, you have this idea

about who you think you are,
or who you wanna be, and,

and maybe if you let
things just happen to you,

you'll find out that you're
exactly who you wanna be.

I mean, maybe--
- I'm not.

- Gena, you--
- Look,

I wanna ask you a favor.
(laughs tearfully)

- Well, ask me.

What?

- (laughing) You can say no if you want.

- What, anything, what, anything, what?

- If in five years, if I don't
meet anybody in five years.

- Oh my God, you're so crazy.

You are--
- No, I wanna know this,

I wanna know this.

If in five years I don't
meet anybody, can I use,

can I use Billy? (laughs)

- (laughs) Oh my God.
- Please,

it would make me feel so much better.

(laughs tearfully) Please.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I mean really.
- Yeah.

- I mean I won't have sex
with him, I won't fuck him,

I just want his sperm.
- Yep.

- You have such great kids--
- Yes, uh-huh.

- I want you--
- Yes, you can.

- I want what you have. (laughs tearfully)

- Oh my God.

- Look, I just think now is the time

that we really really have
to talk about it, because...

Look, what I think we
should do tonight is,

we can just start out by
just making lists, okay?

You can make your list,
I can make my list,

the pros and cons.

First of all, a list on
why we should get married

and why we shouldn't.

And then why we should have a child

and why we shouldn't.

We can just, just talk about, just,

just begin the dialogue, because I...

Yeah, I do.

But look, amino acids have no,

yeah, all right.

All right, I'm holding my tyrosine.

I promise I'll take my tyrosine

if we can have a meeting
tonight and talk about this.

It's really important to me, sweetheart.

(laughing) Yes!

I will!

All right, just make your list, all right?

(sighs)

(laughingly) I love you.

I love you so much.

(chuckles)

- I hesitate to say this

because it's really insensitive, but...

- What?

- Billy has this, oh, you're
gonna get angry at me,

but don't get angry at me, okay?

- (laughs) Okay.
- Just hear me out, okay?

Billy has this, this friend.

- Yeah?

- This, this interesting guy.

I mean, he's not, he's not--
- Oh, God.

- No, shh, listen, just hear me out.

I mean it's not--
- You can't fix me up

with somebody, Roz.
- No, I don't wanna

fix you up, I don't wanna fix you up,

I'm not gonna fix you up.

I'm just saying that if you
happen to meet this guy.

If you happen to, I mean--

- This is my life--
- No no no, shh shh shh.

- I'm gonna end up going
on blind dates for the rest

of my life?
- I'm not say,

I'm not gonna set you up with
someone, listen to me though.

I mean, he's a little odd and he's not,

you know, he's off the
beaten track, this guy.

- So what, (laughs) he's perfect for me?

- Well you, you know, you have

this conventional idea--
- Oh come on,

this is ridiculous!

- About what you should be
with, and you know, you just,

you know, things are odd.

I mean, I have an idea
about who I should be too,

and I haven't turned out
to be that person at all.

But you know, life is really sweet anyway.

(Gena laughs tearfully)

It really is.
- I can't do that.

- Just...

- Okay, I tell you what.

If you promise me in five
years I can use Billy,

I'll go on the blind date, okay?

But you gotta promise me.

- I promise you, and I know
you're not gonna need him.

(Gena laughs)
I know you're not--

- Oh no!
- But I promise you.

I promise you.

But you're not gonna need him, Christ.

Course, we really should
(laughs) consult him,

don't you think?

But anyway, he'll be thrilled.

I mean, who wouldn't be thrilled?

Come on, you're the prize.

You're the prize.
- Oh, God.

- It will leave a hole for
me, I think for a long time,

if I don't have my own children.

- I will feel completely
robbed of my womanhood

if I don't get to
express my body that way.

- Do I do it without a man?

Do I (sighs), do I do it by myself?

Do I do it with somebody else

and just have them living there?

It's, I don't know.

I don't think it can happen.

I don't think it's ever gonna happen.

- I don't know, I'm really
afraid when I get to be 50

I'm gonna feel like I
really missed something.

And the time will be past.

- I can't imagine being old,
and this is very selfish,

and not having babies.

Being old and alone in a nursing home

with nobody there to come and visit you

and take care of you.

They don't care if you
have gastric indigestion

or if your eye hurts.

- If in the future I'm
still alone (chuckles)

and wishing about all this stuff,

I think I'm gonna have to become

something really miraculous.

Like um, you know, one of
those 80-year-old women

who swims the English
Channel or something.

- If I don't, um, have a child,

which I find very unlikely,

I will more than likely adopt,

'cause I have a, I have
a lot of love to give.

- So I'm hunting, I figure

I have about five good years left.

And I'm cute.

I mean, I have a good personality,

so I should be able to find somebody.

- I think I'm going to have one.

I, I just think really
positively about it.

And either this means that I'm foolish,

or I'm adjusting really
well to being in California,

but I really believe that if I, um,

if I believe in having
a child, that I will.

- I had a dream.

A couple of nights ago.

And in the dream, I
found out I was pregnant.

And I felt so happy.

And I felt really calm,
because all of a sudden

I realized that my path
was charted for me.

The choice had been made.

And now I was going to go
down this particular road.

- I don't have any doubt that
I'll eventually get married

and, if we'll have children, I don't know.

And if we can't or we don't,
or he doesn't want to,

or it's not to be, I hope that I can just

meet it with the joy and equanimity

that I can meet every moment
in my life and in our life,

because that's what I think living is.

It's acceptance.

Action is easy, acceptance is difficult.

So's joy.

(lullaby plays)

- Did you see her moving?

(laughs)

She kicked me!

She kicked me really hard.

It's amazing!

It's so amazing that there's
someone in my stomach,

kicking me! (laughs)

I mean, there's a baby inside
my stomach, moving around.

Sometimes it feels like
a, like a fish, you know,

who's flopping around in there,

and I think, no, this isn't
a fish, this is a person.

This is my baby!

And she's moving around!

Sometimes she kind of does one
of these break dance moves,

and I think, oh my God, what was that?

(laughs) It's so, (makes surprised noise),

it's so scary, but it's fun!

It's really fun!

And then other times it's
completely mind boggling.

I think, how did this happen?

How did this baby get here?

Yes. (laughs)

I guess you're wondering
how this happened, huh?

Well, I did, I met somebody
wonderful, you know?

And, it just happened.

Isn't she beautiful? (laughs)

(jazzy piano music)

♪ Oh my baby ♪

♪ My curly-headed baby ♪

♪ I'll sing you fast to sleep ♪

♪ And love you so as I sing ♪

♪ Oh my baby ♪

♪ My curly-headed baby ♪

♪ Just tuck your head like little bird ♪

♪ Beneath it's mother's wing ♪

♪ So la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la bye-bye ♪

♪ Do you want the stars to play with ♪

♪ Or the moon to run away with ♪

♪ They'll come if you don't cry ♪

♪ So la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la bye-bye ♪

♪ In your mother's arms be creepin' ♪

♪ And soon you'll be asleepin' ♪

♪ La-la la-la-la-la la-la-la-la bye. ♪

♪ So la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la bye-bye ♪

♪ Do you want the stars to play with ♪

♪ Or the moon to run away with ♪

♪ They'll come if you don't cry ♪

♪ So la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la bye-bye ♪

♪ In your mother's arms be creepin' ♪

♪ And soon you'll be asleepin' ♪

♪ La-la la-la-la-la la-la-la-la bye ♪

♪ So la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la bye-bye ♪

♪ Do you want the stars to play with ♪

♪ Or the moon to run away with ♪

♪ They'll come if you don't cry ♪

♪ So la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la bye-bye ♪

♪ In your mother's arms be creepin' ♪

♪ And soon you'll be asleepin' ♪

♪ La-la la-la-la-la la-la-la-la bye ♪