Baby It's You (1983) - full transcript

(BELL RINGS)

JILL: Then her husband
finds them.

Then all the men
get hold of Paul Newman...

And they back him against
his car and they smash
his face with a board.

Oh, don't say it.
They say, "You'll never
get another woman

"to look at you."
Oh, sure.

In the play,
they castrate him.

You're making
that up.

So how did he look?
He had a cut on his face.

Big deal.
He's still gorgeous.

Hi.
Hi.



I think I'm gonna pee
in my pants.

Do you know him?
I never did before.

I think he's so cute.

If it wasn't
for his name.

Jack and Jill.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Do you know him?

God, no.

Who is he?

Just got kicked out
of Saint Anthony's,
so he's coming here.

I wonder
what he did.

He raped a nun.
Debra!

We gotta have sorority
after school.

We electing
officers?



We already did.
Jill's president.

We called you.
Who's subbing for PE?

Would you believe
Miss Nagronsky?

(BELL RINGS)

See you at lunch.

TEACHER: Thank you.

Okay. I need
an example

of how commerce would
work in a meritocracy.

Yeah.
The cafeteria.

The food's lousy,
but it's cheap.

TEACHER: Now, you see?
We can learn from
the most unlikely sources,

which is why I continue
to bother calling on Jill.

Okay. Monarchy,
oligarchy,

democracy,
plutocracy,

anarchy,
meritocracy...

I think about him
all the time.

I dream about him.

I dream about
being near him

for the rest of my life.

I dream of having children
that look like him.

I wouldn't be an actress
all the time,

only until I found him
and fell in love with him.

After that... After that,
we'd take a train and go
to the beautiful cities

and see the wonderful people
everywhere.

And whenever
people were sick,

he'd go to them and make
them well again.

That's enough.

Very nice, Jill.

I'm sorry.
I went off the wrong track.
I'm sorry.

An actor never
apologizes for
an audition, dear.

Next, please.

Got the mail already?

MR. ROSEN: Hiya.
Hi. Anything for me?

Nope.

How was school?

Do your time.
Keep your mouth shut
and they leave you alone.

Nothing, huh?
Mmm-mmm.

I mean, how was
the audition?

I stank up the joint.

I told you
you should have
had breakfast.

You can't act
on a full stomach.

You're quoting
Stanislavski

or Audrey Hepburn?

MR. ROSEN: A body cannot
function properly

on a diet
of tomato pies.

You need protein!
You need fiber.

You need complex
carbohydrates.

When do you find out?

JILL: Tomorrow.

MR. ROSEN: What's the play?

The Time of your Life.
I wanna do Kitty.

There must be other parts
besides Kitty.

The object isn't
to have the biggest part.

Yes, it is.

MR. ROSEN: I hope you get it.

Fat chance.

MRS. ROSEN: You have homework?
Loads.

MRS. ROSEN: I'll call you
when dinner's ready.

(MELODRAMATIC MUSIC
PLAYS ON TURNTABLE)

Hi.

What's your name?

Jill.
What?

Jill.

It's a pleasure
to meet you, Jill.

They call me
the Sheik.

The Sheik?

Yeah.

Are you an Arab?

No. I'm Italian.
Capadilupo.

Then why do they
call you Sheik?

It's a long story.

Listen,
you want to go out
with me sometime?

(SCOFFS) Are you kidding?

No. You want to?

I don't even know you.

Go out with me,
I'll tell you
my life history.

You just go up to
people you don't even know
and start talking to them?

Sure. People I like.

I like you.

You don't know me.

So what do you like to do?
You like to go
to the movies?

You like to dance?
Whatever you wanna do.

I don't want
to go out with you, really.

Okay. Be that way.

I'll see you later.
No. I...

You know, you
really should eat
more than that.

You're too skinny
for your height.

What did he want?

He asked me out.

Really?
Just like that?

His name is Sheik.

He's an Arab?

No. Capata...
Something or other.

No. Christ! He looks
like he should be
selling used cars.

Or stealing them.

This macaroni
looks like it's
been left over

from last year.

Do you think
I'm too skinny?

TEACHER:
From the definition
of similar polygons,

it follows that
for two polygons
to be similar,

two distinct conditions
must be fulfilled.

One, the corresponding
angles must be equal.

And number two,

The corresponding sides
must be proportional.

Also, since the definition
is reversible,

if two polygons...
(BELL RINGS)

Hey, congratulations.

I'm going to pretend
you're not there.

Too bad you didn't
get the lead.

Kitty is the lead.

Oh.

I bet
you're real good.

Acting.

You want
to take a shot?

You don't
give up, do you?

No. It's just that,
uh, well...

I thought you
might like to see

what a real machine
rides like.

JILL: Is it yours?
It belongs to my friend Rat.

You wouldn't believe what
he's got under the hood.

I got to go.

What are you afraid of?
Nothing.

I got to bring
some people home.

I'll bring you
right back here.

You really expect me
to get into a car with you?

What, I'm
going to make
a move on you, huh?

You do not know
the Sheik very well.

You gotta celebrate
getting casted, right?

Five minutes.

Five minutes.

You can learn a lot
in five minutes.

(JILL CHUCKLES)

You might want
to put your seatbelt on.

Oh, come on.
Hey, it's your life.

( SHOUT PLAYS)

(JILL YELLS)

(TIRES SCREECH)

You like
to drive fast?

I love it.

I'll see you tomorrow, then.

Don't count on it.

You better drive.

♪ Stop in the name
of love

♪ Before you break my heart
(PHONE RINGS)

Hello!

Oh, hi.

No. I got homework.

Oh, come on.
What am I supposed
to be afraid of?

(LAUGHS)

Okay. For a little while.

No. Not here.
I'll meet you
someplace.

I don't know. Where?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

See ya.

You're such a dope!

(TV DIALOGUE, GUNSHOTS)

You ready
with those, Ma?

Keep your voice
down in there, will you?

Here they are.

I'd like to see you
move that fast

When I need something
around here.

(GUNSHOTS ON TV)

Attaway, guys.
Kick ass.

Got a new jacket?

He looks nice.

Where did you get
the money for it?

Not from you.

MR. CAPADILUPO:
Where you going?

Since when
do you care?

If I find out you're making
money the way I think
you're making money,

I'll rip your lungs out.
Stop.

Promises, promises.

Isn't that
a little
over your head?

One of these days, Mr.
Bigshot, you're gonna find
yourself flat on your ass.

Spread out
on the sidewalk.

Long as I don't
end up like you.

Night, Ma.

Have a good time.

Dresses like a pimp.

He looks handsome.

(HORN HONKS)

SHEIK: Jill.

Hi.
Hi.

You look real pretty.

Thank you.

Come on.
Rat's waiting on us.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION
CONTINUES)

( UNCHAINED MELODY
PLAYS FAINTLY ON JUKEBOX)

GIRL: You don't
remember me.

What?

We used to be
in the same gym class once.

You go to
St. Catherine's?

No. Transferred.

Ninth grade we were
in the same squad.

Um...Rosen, Roth,

Rousseau, Tatum,
Tessetori.

Joann Tessetori.

Yeah. I wasn't
blonde then.

You were great
at volleyball.

You always sat out
with your period.

Yeah, I still
pull that one. (CHUCKLES)

Going out
with Sheik, girl?

No.
He's a great dresser.

You been going out
with, um...Rat long?

Uh, off and on.

He's got
a nice car.

You wouldn't believe
what's he's got
under his hood.

So why'd you say
you'd go out with me?

I don't know.

Just curious,
right?

Want to go out
with me again?

Sheik, you hardly said two
words to me all night.

Hey, I figured,
you better
get used to me

before I hit you
with anything
too heavy.

Never been out
with anybody
like me, huh?

No.

Well, what do you
think so far?

I think you're crazy.

You got real
pretty eyes.

I bet you don't
even have to act
up there on stage.

People just stare
at your eyes.

I hope not.

I've never been out
with anybody like you.

Can I give you
a ride home?

No. I'm just
a couple of blocks.
I'll walk.

Have you ever
seen Trenton
late at night?

It looks like
a whole
different place.

I got to get home.

It's best
if you drive slow,

find something
good on the radio.

I got to get home.

You can drive okay?
You girls really packed
away the liquor in there.

I'm fine.

See you
in school then.

Okay. See you.

So, is he fast?

Compared
to who?

Compared to
Barry Silver.

Gross me out.

I bet he's
a good dancer.

I never
danced with him.

What does
he kiss like?

Jesus, Beth.

What's your problem?

Just cause
Jill's going out
with some thug.

He's not
a thug!

You have to have
all the clinical details.

I'm interested.
She's interested.

I think
he dresses nice.

So have you two
set the date yet?

Give me
a break.

♪ Goin' to the chapel

♪ And we're
gonna get married

♪ Goin' to the chapel

♪ And we're
gonna get married

♪ Gee, I really love you

♪ And we're
gonna get married ♪

I have no idea why anyone
would wanna fight over it.

Anyway, I'd been stationed
there for about a month

before I saw a Japanese...
Hi.

Yes?

You have a message for me?
No.

Oh, sorry
to interrupt.

And, um... And the other
men, they didn't want to
talk about it.

It was pitch-black
when the artillery began.

You can't imagine the...
Was this Japs or the Germans?

Jill, who is
this person?

What are you
getting on her for?

I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.

Hey, excuse me.

I figured this
was high school.

I could drop in,
soak up a little knowledge.

Out. Out.

Okay.

I'll see you
in the parking lot.

I don't know
how I did.
I'm really worried.

If you get in,
are you going to go?

It's not a rule or anything.
Just 'cause
you get accepted...

What am I supposed to do?
Stay in Trenton?

(SIGHS) I can't see it.
Signing on for four more
years of this garbage.

No, it's not the same.

Where I wanna go,
there's no required classes,

no bells, no tests.

You study what
you want. It's great.

Hi.
Hiya, Mr. Ripeppi.

So what do you
do in college that you
don't do in high school?

Is it different
subjects?

Same subjects.
You just go into them deeper.

You want to go
deeper into what,
earth science?

They got any good
schools in Florida?

Florida?
Yeah.

That's where Frank
is these days.

Frank who?
Frank who?

Sinatra,
who else?

(BELL RINGS)

Bye.
See you tonight.

You supposed to
be someplace, mister?

Yeah. I'm going to class.
What class?

Wood shop.

I saw you in second
lunch again today.

My girlfriend's
got second lunch.

I wanted
to talk to her.

You pull that again,

and I'm going
to come down on you.

Promises,
promises.

We used to be
in the same
gym glass once.

Once.

I'm so glad because
I wanted to be an actress

and have a young doctor come
to the theater and see me,

and fall in love with me,
and send me flowers.

I wouldn't know who it was,
and then one day
I'd see him in the street

and fall in love with him.

Jill.

Yes?

I wanted a word
with you, dear.

Okay.

I heard a rather
distressing rumor

in the faculty lounge
the other day

about you
and some young man.

About me?

I've seen many
a promising young actress

betray her talent
for the sake of a few
careless adventures.

Yes, Miss Vernon.

A theater professional
is dedicated

to the pursuit
of excellence.

If you strive
for anything less
than excellence,

you're cheating
the people who come
to see you perform

and betraying
your own talent.

Yes, Miss Vernon.

(ITALIAN FILM DIALOGUE)

Don't.
What?

What's the matter?

Nothing's the matter.
Just don't.

Christ.

I should
be home asleep.

You Jewish girls.

What about
us Jewish girls?

You make
such a big deal
out of things.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Shh!

You mean
I don't put out?

You're pretty smart,
you know that?

You're about
the smartest girl
I ever went out with.

Thank you.

Only it isn't
healthy, you know,

getting all
excited about that

and not going
any further.

It's really
bad on the heart,

especially
if you're a guy.

This is
my favorite part.

You going to give me
a ride home?

If your heart
can stand it.

(SIGHS)

My name isn't Duval.

It's Koranovsky.

Katerina Koranovsky.

And we
lost everything,

the house,

the farm, the trees,

the horses,
the chickens, the cows.

Papa died.
He was old.

Excuse me, dear.
Just a word.

Even if you're
supposed to be

a somewhat
lowlife character,

you mustn't
forget that
you're an actress,

and that Kitty
herself is
an actress.

Not a very
successful one,

as we've
discussed,

but with that
certain something

you must always
be aware of.

Do you see
my point?

Jill?

You mean like
she was always acting,

whether she's
in character or not.

Very well put.

From the top,
dear.

Why, I dream
of home.

Christ, I always
dream of home.

I have no home.
I have no place,

but I always
dream of us,

all of us... Blah.

Make one wisecrack,
and I'll kill you.

I thought
you were good.

You just waltz in
wherever you want.

You don't want
me to watch
you rehearse?

If you had
half a brain,
you'd know that.

What do you mean,
half a brain?

I don't want you to
wait for me after school.

I just got kicked off
the basketball team.

You probably
deserved it.

You're a real
ball-buster,
you know that?

What happens if you
woulda got kicked
out of this play,

and I come to you and
I say, "You probably
deserved it"?

Nice mouth,
you know?

I don't want you to wait
for me after school.

I don't want you driving
by my house at night.

I've had nothing but trouble
ever since I met you.

Leave me alone, okay?

What do you think?
You're too fuckin'
good for me? Huh?

That's it!
Go ahead, walk away!

Go ahead, turn your little
chin up in the air!

Go home to Daddy!

What do you mean
half a fuckin' brain?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Here's your boyfriend.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Hello?

We used to be
in the same
gym class once.

You be careful
how you talk to me.

BOY: Now I remember.
I wanted to be a doctor once.

JILL: (AS KITTY)
I'm so glad because
I wanted to be an actress

and have a young doctor
come to the theater
and see me

and fall in love with me
and send me flowers.

BOY: I would
do that, Kitty.

JILL (AS KITTY):
I wouldn't know
who it was.

and fall in love with him.
I wouldn't know he was the
one that was in love with me.

I'd think about him
all the time.

You were just wonderful.
Yeah, you did great.

Better than
the rehearsals.

Hi.

Hi.
How you doing?

You like the play?

SHEIK: It was all right.

You're Davey Fine's
sister, aren't you?

Jody.
Yeah, Jody.

You going
to the cast party?

Nah.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

I'm not
going either.

You like
a ride somewhere?

Sure.

No way to get
through that crowd.

Come on.

You okay?

Uh-huh.

There's a back way
if you don't want to walk
through the bar again.

Okay.

I used to hit
on your brother
for his lunch money.

Third grade.

We were awful proud
of you last night.

Thanks.

Miss Vernon told us
how she was worried
about you.

In the play?

About you
and that boy.

Oh, God.

MR. ROSEN: We thought
you were the best.

I mean, objectively,
we really did.

I told her you had
too much sense

for that to be
a problem.

Mom, just do me
a favor, all right?

Just stay out of
my personal life.

She's got
a personal life.

What's wrong with that?

I thought
you lit up the stage.

That does it.

Of course,
it would be great to go
somewhere where it's warm.

It's not so important
where you go to school,

but the people
you can meet there,
who you spend your time with.

I think that's the
most important thing,
to meet the right people.

Get in the car!
(SCREAMING)

In the car! Go!

What are you doing?
Shut up.

You're being kidnapped.
Oh, my God.

You're really something,
you know that?

I said shut up!
A real shit for brains!

Nobody goes home
until we get
some things settled here.

You're gonna
end up in jail!
Right.

And when they let you out,
they'll give you a job
picking up garbage!

That's it! That's it!
Give me the gun, Rat.

They've got a gun!
Give me the gun!

Jesus, Rat! Give me the gun!
Where are we going?

Shut up!
Be careful!

You shut up, too!
Don't tell me...

Is this fuckin' thing loaded?

To shut up
in my own fucking car!

Is it loaded?
I don't think so.

Then what the fuck
are you worried about?

Jill, they're gonna kill us!
No, they're not!

How the fuck
do you know?

RAT: We gotta have
a conference.

Oh, Christ!

You girls make one peep,
and you're dead meat.

You're gonna
end up in jail, man!

You are gonna end up
in jail, Sheik!

I don't know
what you're doing!

You're nuts!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Should we run?

They'd catch us.

Are they going
to hurt us?

No!

Maybe.

I don't know.

Well, what
does he want?

He wants me
to get all scared
and hysterical

and cry and apologize.

Are you gonna?
Damn him!

Are you gonna?

Yes.

Unless we wanna sit
in this car all night.

This is a nice car.

It belongs to Lester
at the bowling alley.

We got to have it
back by midnight.

Big kidnappers.

Oh, you don't think
this is serious?

No, I do. Really.

I do.

You're not
the only person
in the world

who's got feelings,
you know that?

I know. I'm sorry.

Beth is on Greenwood.

Let's go
to the shore.

Sheik!
Come on! You're a star.

You can do
anything you want.

Pull a 180 on this sucker
and we're outta here.

I'm going to miss
a biology test.

What do you want
to know about biology?
Ask me anything.

SHEIK: The way I figure it,
only three people
in the world matter.

Jesus Christ,
Frank Sinatra, and me.

Frank Sinatra?

The man who knows
what he wants,
and he gets it.

Best clothes,
best cars, best women.

You listen to Sinatra?

My parents do.

They got taste.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

If you don't go to classes,
they'll kick you out
of school.

So?

Nobody sings
like Sinatra.

Who wants to?

You think Frank wants
to hang around somebody
who's copying his style?

He's got respect for
the individual artist.

You're crazy.

You don't think I can do it?
I didn't say that.

We got to feed you.
You're going to fuckin'
die out here.

I want those smothered
in onions, all right?

Hey! Punch E-5.

( STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT
PLAYS)

(MUSIC CONTINUES FAINTLY)

Going home?
Mmm-hmm.

I'll see you tomorrow, then.

Okay.

♪ Strangers in the night

♪ Two lonely people

♪ We were strangers
in the night ♪

TEACHER:
Now make an incision
just under the chin

and move downward.
Don't cut too deep.

And watch out
for the formaldehyde.

Jesus. You want
me to do it?

No. You did the crayfish.
So what about Stewart?

That doesn't mean he
won't go to the prom
with you. We could arrange it.

TEACHER:
Now, take the forceps
and pull that little rib cage

so that the viscera
are exposed.

Forceps.
TEACHER: Peel them back.

Mmm-hmm. He's coming
to lunch today
to negotiate.

He wants to make
a big production out of it
and hire a limousine.

TEACHER:
Okay. Now we're gonna
cut the heart out.

He knows how
to treat a girl.

BOY: Hey, Sheik!

JODY: Why should I?
There's no law that says
I have to go to prom.

He's crazy.
How you doing?

I was talking
with Fausto last night.

You remember him?
I told you about him.
He's my cousin.

He says I can get a limo, huh?
Yeah, he's a good guy.
Really?

You!
Let's see your pass.

What pass? This is
lunch period.

Not your lunch period.

Hey, I'm just talking
to the girls here, okay?
What's your problem?

Your problem, mister.

Hey, don't get
your balls in an uproar.

That will cost you
a suspension.

Great. I'm suspended.
Now, leave me alone.

That means
off school property.

And you and whose army
is going to make me?

Don't flatter
yourself, punk.

Fuck you.

That will put you
out of school altogether.

Let's go.
Don't fuckin' touch me.

You want to
fight me, huh?

Fuckin' son of a bitch!

Let him up.
Let him up!

Let me go.
Let him up.

You going to behave?
Let him up!

MR. MCMANUS:
You're out of here, mister!

Sheik.

Okay, I want to pose a problem
or a puzzle for you.

And see if you can guess
who this person is.

He's described
in the history books

as a short,
squat, taciturn man...

Who, after his discharge
from the army

after fighting
in the Mexican war,

had been fighting
an unequal battle

with alcoholism
and poverty and failure.

He, at one point, became
a real estate salesman.

At another point, he worked
in his father's tannery.

At another point
he tried farming,
but he failed.

I think Jody's gonna be
our biggest problem.

Let her get
her own date.

She's in the sorority.
We're supposed to help her.

I think we should look
into Georgie Leacock for her.

Yeah, if we could fit
that misshapen body
of his into a tuxedo.

Okay, so Georgie
for Jody.

How about you, Jill?

Huh?
Who we gonna get for you?

I'm going with Sheik.
He got expelled from school,
remember?

So?
So, you know who the floor
chaperone is this year?

McManus.

Yeah, they say he killed
somebody in the marines.

Then the hell with it.
I'm not going to the prom.

Don't be ridiculous.
What about
Jack Harrigan?

Oh, he's taking some girl
from Miss Fine's.

That makes me sick.

I'm not going.

Look, has he called you yet
since he got kicked out?

He's probably
embarrassed.

TEACHER:
You look at your
committee guidelines,

and you'll see
that formal wear

is defined
as a black tuxedo.

And, gals...

Three inches.

If you come in with a hemline
that's more than
three inches above the knee,

or anything else
that's inappropriate,

believe me, we will
stop you at the door.

Every year we have
one or two tragedies.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

A LOVER'S CONCERTO
PLAYS ON JUKEBOX)

JILL: Hi.
Do you know what time it is?

Real late, huh?

This came today.

Oh, God.

I wish you'd tell me
when you're not
coming home after school.

If they turn you down,
it's no big thing.

There's lots
of other schools
just as good.

I'm in.

You're in?

They accepted me.
Sarah Lawrence.

I'll get your father.
Oh, don't wake him up.

You think he could
sleep if he knew?

I'll get him down here.
We'll have champagne.

(SINGING CHERISH)

SHEIK: Jill.

You look nice.

You won't be
seeing me.

Have a nice night.

Sheik!

(STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT
PLAYING)

You owe me 25 bucks.

Huh?

A tuxedo rental...
Corsage...

Gas for your car.

What are you
talking about?

You obviously
don't want to
be here with me.

Oh.

SHEIK: Go!
RAT: We're outta here!

Ya-hoo!

BETH: Don't slobber,
Georgie.

GEORGIE (CHUCKLING):
They're partying
at PJ's...

(SIREN APPROACHES)

Some kid walked out of there
and wrapped his car
around a telephone pole,

so now the cops
are on him.

BETH: I want to go somewhere.
I know a place.

GEORGIE: Sure they'll
serve us?

Anybody talk to Jody?
BETH: She's with Carl.

They're supposed
to be following us.

They're pulling
up on us, Rat!

(RAT YELLING)
They're going to catch us.

No way!

SHEIK: You'll hit 'em!

RAT: Whoo!
We're gonna hit 'em!

RAT: Whoo-hoo!

Argh!

Okay, I got a screwdriver,
three rum and Cokes,

a grasshopper,
and a Tab.

You're such a drag, Jill.

Anybody who tosses their
cookies in my car
cleans it up.

I'm shit-faced.
Big of you to admit it.

Hey, Jody, hi.
Want a drink?

I have to use
the ladies' room.

Is Carl parking
the car?

Carl went home.

I'm shit-faced.

Let me see your ID.

She didn't look
so good.

BOY: Is that a beautiful job,
or what?

GEORGIE: First I couldn't
feel my cheeks,

then I couldn't
feel my nose,

then I
couldn't feel
my eyeballs.

BETH: Who would
want to feel your
eyeballs?

DEBRA: Do you come
to this place
often, Jill?

Jody? Jody?
(SOBS)

What happened?
What happened?

I think
I hurt my fingers.

God.

What happened, Jody?
What happened?

I needed something
to cut with.

I broke the mirror.

You always
get everything
you want.

You never do
anything for it.

It just gets
handed to you.

Is that my fault?

Anyhow, you could have gone
to Beth or Debra.
They're your friends.

They think
I'm a slut.

Oh, come on.
Just because
you make it with boys

doesn't mean
you're a slut.

Since when?

I always just wondered,
you know,

what the big
attraction was.

I like it.

Is that so bad?

I like it when
I'm making it. Okay?

It's just afterwards
that it's bad.

Like...
Like with Sheik.

How could you do that?

He was my boyfriend.

I'm sorry.

BETH:
I've seen this episode
Peyton Place.

DEBRA:
Don't start
making jokes.

BETH:
What's your problem?

MOTHER:
Are you girls
all right down there?

We're fine, Mama.
Go back to sleep.

One-way to Miami Beach.

First week, we were
supposed to wear
these little green hats,

all the freshmen
on campus.

(CHUCKLES)
I wonder if they
still do that?

You felt ridiculous,

but it built a kind
of camaraderie,
class spirit.

You're talking
loud again, Dad.

Am I?
I'm sorry.

The grounds
are beautiful.

I wonder if
these buildings
are fireproof.

Some of them
look pretty old.

This is it.

You're what?
First floor?

Right.

I can take them
from here.

Don't be silly.
We want to see
your room.

We're paying enough for it.
Dad... Mom.

Another visit,
Eli.

You're going to have
a wonderful time here.

You'll write?
I will.

(BELLS CHIME)

All these
young girls.

I feel like we're
delivering her
to a convent.

Hi.
Hi.

Is this Slater Hall?

(SIGHS) I think so.

I dream about him.

I dream of having children
that look like him.

I wouldn't be
an actress
all the time...

Okay.

Jill?

Were you in the,
uh, dramatics club
or something in high school?

I was president.
Uh-huh.

Well, I think
your best bet

is just forget everything
you learned there,
and start over.

"I've discovered a world
I didn't know existed
till I came here.

"I'm learning a lot.
The other girls
are a very diverse group."

She spelled "diverse" wrong.
She was never a speller.

"A very diverse group
from interesting
backgrounds.

"I think the decision not
to go to a coed school
was a good one.

"I feel like I'm starting
a new life

"with a wonderful
opportunity
to make friends

"among people I never
would have met in Trenton.

"The drama here is not
what I had imagined.

"Our visiting director is one
of the people who is reshaping
American theater.

"The emphasis is
on discovering yourself,

"on bringing out the fears
and passions inside you.

"The production this fall
is St Joan of the Stockyards.

"But for the time being
I'm concentrating on
developing my acting skills,

"instead of worrying about
how big a part I get."

MR. ROSEN:
Does she say whether
she is happy there?

MRS. ROSEN:
It's hard to tell.

Peas, peas, peas,
peas, peas, peas...

Two pieces?

Save myself a trip
back through the line.

So who are these
guys that they're
shipping in?

Princeton, Columbia,
and Brown.

Brown.
They're animals.

I heard about a girl
that went up there
for a mixer.

She passed out on beer
in some dorm.

And when she came to,
all the guys that had
taken a crack at her

signed their initials
on her ass.

I've got a class now.
See you guys later.

She's got a boyfriend
still in high school.

They write
each other.
Every day.

A bit of a wimp.

So what about you?
You leave anybody behind?

No.
Nobody?

Well, there was this
insane character
in high school.

He was really
a greaser.

Almost...
He was sorta my boyfriend.

Won't find much
of that stuff up here.

I wonder what they
are like from Princeton?

I hear they fuck
with their socks on.

(BAND PLAYS RHYTHM & BLUES)

Ow!

Jill! How you doin'?
Okay.

What did I tell you! Animal!

Hi.
Hi.

You want to fuck?

I mean dance.

No.

(CHUCKLES) Which one?

What?

Which one don't
you want to do?

You don't want
to fuck?

No.

You don't want
to dance?

No.

I'm a senior.

You're not
going to make it.

Huh?

Where are you aiming
on the cushion?

It's not going
to do it.

You're just trying
to psych me out.

Do it your way.

We should go shopping.

For clothes. For you. I know
some place in New York
that would be good for you.

You do, huh?

We could go in,
get some things for you.

Maybe hook up with somebody.
Phillip's got this friend
from Princeton.

You're standing
in my light.

It's not like you need
a whole wardrobe
or anything.

Just some basic stuff.

I mean, your instincts
are pretty good.

Just have to learn
how to listen.

So, the five of us, right?
We pile into this car.

We end up at this bar
in Trenton, right?

(LAUGHS) Let's get more wine.

This local
comes in, right?

We boxed him in.
So he says,

"Whoever belongs
to the green Volvo,

"I'm gonna tear
his face off."

This guy is right out
of the Stone Age, right?
He's got hair on his knuckles,

his forehead slopes back
where his frontal lobe
is supposed to be.

This guy is really
heavy-duty New Jersey.

Ha.
So nobody
speaks up, right?

He starts looking
around the bar

to see who he thinks might
drive a green Volvo, right?

Everybody in the bar
looks just like this guy.

We're talking early
stages of evolution, here.

So finally, he comes over
and he's standing, looking

at the five of us
at the table, right?

I'm trying to think, what
would Johnny Weissmuller do

in a situation like this?

(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Let's get some more wine.

So there was
this guy, Rat.

I never knew
his real name.

His mother named him Rat
in the cradle and it stuck.

Rat de la Rocco.

He's probably Italian,
but maybe not.

Oh, and he always wore this
glove on his hand,
like a racing driver.

And he never took it off.

Bowling, even,
or when we'd eat pizza.

I always pictured him
all naked in the bathtub
except for that glove,

Like Dean Martin and his hat
in Some Came Running.

Did you ever see that?
With Shirley MacLaine?
It was great.

(GUFFAWS)

Rat had this car, see?

And he called it...
the Ratmobile! Ha ha ha!

Oh! The Ratmobile!

You should have seen
what he had under his hood!

I'm talking like
a crazy person, aren't I?

You're doing fine.

(GROANS AND WHINES)
Okay.

So, anyway...

Rat would
be driving, right?
And we'd be taking a shot.

Did I tell you
about taking a shot?

Uh-huh.
(LAUGHS)

You never went out
with anybody like
me before, huh?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, hey, hey.

Did I tell you about me
and Frank Sinatra?

No.
Huh?

(LAUGHING)

Me and Frank Sinatra
are like that.

Know what I mean?
(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

Jill?
What's the matter?

What's wrong?
Are you all right?

BOY: Oh, shit.
(JILL GROANS)

Try to keep
her head up!

She booted
on the check!

(JILL RETCHES)

JILL: Help!
You okay?

Miss, we seem to have
a slight problem.

(JILL RETCHES VIOLENTLY)

I don't think I have
anything left.

I did it on the train, too.
Well, just in case.

Would you dial
this for me?

Sure.

Yeah, I'd like to call
305-866-5050, please.

Ask for Albert.

Mm-hm.

(COINS JINGLE)

Yeah,
is Albert there?

They are getting him.

Thanks.
Call out if you need any help.

Okay.

Sorry I woke you.
No problem.

(EXHALES) Sheik?

Hi. It's Jill.

Yeah, I'm in the dorm.

I called your house
and I talked to your mother.
She gave it to me.

Think I woke her up.

What is it?
A restaurant or something?
No, no. It's a club.

I'm doing my act here.

Yeah, I'm singing. Yeah.

So, uh...
What are you doing?

I've been sort of
bummed out.

It's different here.

Um, there's
a lot of pressure.

I don't know how
you are supposed to act.

No.

Only for this
girl Shelly.

And no one
likes her either.

So, you thinking
of dropping out?

No, no... No.

I was thinking of coming
down to Miami, though.

I got a friend down there.

Remember Beth Liebo?

And there's this guy Bill,
whose family is in the
toy business. Zelmire Toys.

Yeah, Leonard. His family
is the Golden Meat Company.
Beef by-products.

How are your classes?

Classes? They're not
real high on the list
down here.

Oh.

Anyhow, who we're meeting now
is this guy Curtis

who's very sweet and is
bringing someone for you.

What do you think
about that, Lew? A whole
school full of horny women.

(LAUGHING)

CURTIS: I had a cousin
who went there once.

She was a freedom rider,
back when they had those.

But she was always weird.
Who wants to go in the water?

CURTIS: I think I'm ready
for another brew.

Listen, there's some bills
in my wallet. Why don't
you get us another six?

Okay.
I'll go with you.

CURTIS: And get some
smokes, too, okay?

Okay.

Listen, if we are not here
when you get back

it means we met a couple
of hot ones and took them
down to the grove.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

I was wondering
if you'd be up to
go see Sheik tonight?

He's down here?
Yeah.

What's he doing?
Running a kidnapping
service?

He is performing.
He's got a nightclub act.

If you really think that
you want to see him.

We could just take a peek
and not let him know.
If it's too awful...

What about Lew?
We'll drown him.

That's Curtis's
Eldorado.

Where do you
meet all these guys?

Through the sorority.
You still in?

Sororities aren't real high
on the list up there.

FRANK SINATRA ON SPEAKERS:
♪ I once knew
a worryin' man

♪ He was
a hurryin' man

(SHEIK MIMES ALONG)
♪ With never a second to play

♪ He had appointments
to keep

♪ Lots of people to meet

♪ And it took 30 hours
to make him a day

♪ Not for me

♪ Not what I want to be

♪ Put my love to the test

♪ That's when
I'm at my best

♪ Because with you,
pretty baby

♪ Standin' by my side

♪ I couldn't be a failure
even if I tried

♪ 'Cause you make me

♪ Mr. Success ♪

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you, thank you.

The chairman of the board,
ladies and gentlemen.

And now another request.

Arthur, J-12.

This is for all you ladies

who keep
the home fires burning.

A one, a two,
a one, two, three and...

( WIVES AND LOVERS
BY JACK JONES PLAYS)

JACK JONES:
♪ Hey, little girl

♪ Comb your hair,
fix your makeup

♪ Soon he will
open the door

♪ Don't think because
there's a ring

♪ On your finger

♪ You needn't try anymore ♪

SHEIK: You order anything
you want, okay?

It's pretty
expensive.

Hey, you go
to the Fountainebleu,
you go first class, huh?

That's the point.
Anything you want.

Thanks.

Isn't this fantastic?

Miami Beach is the
greatest place in the world.

I think back
on Trenton sometimes.

It's like years
I spent in prison.

You like it?
What, are you kidding?

The people you see down here.
I've seen women, their hands
never been near dishwater.

Till they're 20 years old.
They go to these
debutante parties.

Look for a husband.
They have a big wedding.

And then for the rest
of their life
they go shopping.

So, are you
seeing anybody?

Not really.

How about you?
Not really.

So, how's your
singing career?

Que sera, sera.
You know?

I just need
the right break.

Are you working
on your voice?

Voice? Voice is not
that important.

I mean, you look at a guy
like Dino, okay?

You look at the clothes,
you look at the style.

Voice is not
the whole story.

You ever been
to a place like this?

My parents used
to bring me here
when I was little.

No kidding.

Well, next time, some
of the things I got
working for me,

they come through,
we'll book a room here.

Nothing but the best.

(STAMPS FLOOR)

It's the mice. Got to let
them know you're home.

You want some coffee
or something? I got
my own kitchen here.

No, thanks.

Like the tux?

It's nice.
It's custom-tailored.

I had it made.

Where did you get
all these pictures?

Remember that little
squirt that took
pictures for the yearbook?

I sort of bought
the negatives off him.

Does it pay pretty well
at the nightclub?

Monday through Friday,
I wash dishes.

Then on the weekends
they let me do the act.

People seem
to go for it.

That's how Jerry Lewis
got his start.
Lip-syncing records.

Oh.

I haven't decided though,
whether to bill myself
as just the Sheik,

or...I don't know,
use another name.

You never told me
why people started
calling you that.

It's a kind
of protection.

A what?

A kind of rubber.

You know, Trojans,
Ramses, Sheik.

Speaking of which,

are you on anything?
Are you on the pill
or something?

Oh. No.

Well, I got
that covered.

Turn the
light off.

Don't take any shit
up there.

I don't even know
why you're going back.

I got to work
some things out.

You ask me,
it's a waste of time.

(BOARDING ANNOUNCEMENT)
I should go.

I'm going to call.
So will I.

I'm going
to write, too.

So will I.

I love you.

I know.

( VENUS IN FURS PLAYS)

GIRL: So anyways, I figured
it was okay, getting it on
with my English Lit tutor

because he
wasn't married.

What's that
got to do with it?

I don't know.

Get good grades?
A's.

But I earned them.

Bet you did.
(ALL CHUCKLING)

Couldn't have gotten
away with that for
long in high school.

JILL: I used to go out
with this greaser.
(ALL CHUCKLING)

GIRL 2: Leather jacket!

JILL: He was a small-time
hood, right?

Wanted to be the
next Frank Sinatra.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(GIRL LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

GIRL 3: Cheer up, Shelly.

GIRL 4: So, what was this guy?
Polish?

JILL: Italian.
(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

His name was Sheik,
like the prophylactic.

GIRL 4: Sheik?
(LAUGHING)

And he was crazy about me.
He followed me round,
called me up.

Once him and
his friend Rat
kidnapped me.

LESLIE: We've heard
this number before, Rosen.

JILL: Such a fuckin' loser.
They borrowed the car and had
to have it back by midnight.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Did you use to get
it on with him in cars?

GIRL 2: I'm gonna make it with
somebody named Sheik.

All Rosen does in cars
is boot on the upholstery.

SHELLY: Somebody change
that record, please.

I'm scared.
LESLIE: Of the record?

It freaks me out.

LESLIE: Never smoke dope
with amateurs.

GIRL: Think we could
make a food run?

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

I don't think I can make it.
GIRL 2: Come on, Jill.

Maybe we'll meet some bikers
for you at Dunkin' Donuts.

(KNOCKING)

Hey.
Steve.

A bunch of the guys,
we were road tripping.

I tried to think of
who I knew on campus.

Like to come in?

Sure.

May be small,
but it's ugly.

You look different.

I'm not throwing up.
(CHUCKLES)

You were pretty sick.

I don't remember a whole
lot of that night, just
that it was a mess.

I've seen worse.

Do you smoke?

Sure.

So, what do you do
when you road trip?

Well, Phillip went to see
if he could find Leslie.

The other guys went to
the library to see if they
could pick anybody up.

Good luck.

Philip says you're
an actress.

That's the rumor.

So, you want to
stay the night?

Sure.

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

Phillip's driving down
right after his poli sci exam.

He'll be pretty wiped
but he'll get here.

Chrissy's got this guy
who's flying down
from Harvard

then taking the train.
JILL: Christ.

Karen's got this dude
from Columbia, but he's okay.

Shelly's guy from
high school is coming.

She wouldn't dare.
He's in love with her.

That's what
psychotherapy is for.

Bet they still
jerk each other off.
(SCOFFS)

8-Ball.

You can't
beat me, Rosen.

What'd I tell you?
Speed kills.

What about you?
Steve's coming.

Oh yeah? Good. I was
worried about you.

Why is it such
a big deal?

It always was
and always will be.

Off the cushion.

Thanks. Hello?

Sheik? What's wrong?

Nothing is wrong.

No. Did I wake you up?

Of course you woke me up.
It's 2:00.

I'm sorry.
I just had to talk
to you, that's all.

Oh, things are coming
along, you know?

A lot of things are
gonna happen for me soon.
I can feel it, you know?

I'm really tired.

Can I call you tomorrow
night or something?

Well, I'm out
of the dorm a lot.

All right.
Will you write me?

Yeah, I will.

All right.

Goodnight, Jill.

You waiting
for a call?

From Boston.

Sorry about that.

I'm so mad! I mean,
he just does these things!

I can't control...
Is it exciting?

Sort of.

That is something
you can use.

That sense of excitement
that goes with fear.

But he's such
an asshole!

And he's fucking
kidnapping me!

Is that all that
you feel?

You Albert?

They call me Sheik.

I was told
to see Albert.

I'm him, too.

You're supposed
to fix me up.

Oh, you bussing?
Am I what?

You bussing?
No, no. I'm singing.

Singing?

Yeah, I'm the new singer.
Vinnie Franco.

I don't get it.

What don't you get?
They said you were going to
run a microphone check for me.

You mean,
you really sing?

Now, I move my lips
and they play the
fucking jukebox.

Does this work?

They wanted real singing,
why didn't they
ask me first?

Why didn't they
give me a shot?

I figured this
would be a toilet,
but this is ridiculous.

You're a real
singer, huh?

How come
I never heard of you?

If I had a voice, would
I be working in a place
like this?

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

It's not like it's
the senior prom or anything.

I just thought...

Yeah, I know.
I can get somebody
else to go with me.

Sure.

Okay, give me
a call sometime, all right?

Have a nice flight.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Shit.

I don't know what
I'm going to do.

You were talking
on the telephone.

Mmm-hmm.

That must have
been interesting.

Remember I told you
about Steve?

That was him on the phone.

Rick isn't coming either.

I called him and told
him Shelly died.

They buried her
behind the biology lab.

It was beautiful.

You know Jill Rosen?

Do you know Jill Rosen?

You know Jill Rosen?
Yeah.

Where's Jill?
Where's Jill?

What are you doing here?

I came to see you.

Sheik...
You didn't write.

I know. I'm sorry.

It doesn't matter.
I'm here.

All my stuff.

I got to talk to you.

I think about you
all the time.

What do you mean?

I want you.

Sheik...

Damn it! You shut up
and you listen!

You never
give me an inch!

Not in high school,
not ever!

And we're good together!

I know that!

And all the rest,
all the college,

all the jobs, all the
bullshit, it doesn't
mean shit!

Just you and me,
that's what's important!

I'm not in love
with you.

Why not?

It just doesn't
work for me.

What the fuck
does that mean, huh?

You don't even
give me a chance!

It's because
of who I am, right?

Don't hand me that shit!
Don't hand me that shit!

On account of what
I'm gonna end up, right?
Right?

You've got your singing.
Oh, bullshit!

I ain't... I ain't ever
going to be anything!

I'm gonna end up
a fucking garbage man
like my father!

That's not true.
Don't fuckin' talk down to me!

Sheik...

Don't you look at me.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

I do love you,
you know.

Just not the way
you want me to.

I got some feeling
in this, too.

I'm trying to be somebody
up here and I'm a complete
washout!

Hiding in my room all night
because some guy won't
go to a dance with me.

You think I've got it
made or something?

You lied to me.

I didn't want to
hurt your feelings.

What about when
you came to Miami, huh?

What the fuck
was that?

What do you
want from me?

You want me to quit school
and get married to you
and have kids?

What the fuck
is so awful about that?

That's not
who I want to be!

I don't know what
I want, but it's not that!

When we were in high school...
We're not in high school

anymore!

You don't want
to see me anymore?

No.

You shouldn't have
slept with Jody.

Yeah, that was stupid.

(JILL SNIFFLES, SIGHS)

So, what are you
going to do now?

I don't know.

(KNOCKING)

LESLIE: Jill?
You in there, Jill?

BOY: We should
get a move on.

LESLIE: Maybe she crapped
out and took the train
home already.

(GROANS)

Is this dance
a big deal
or something?

Everybody tries to
impress each other

with what guy they can
get to go to it with them.

And you got stood up?
Shot down.

Fucking guy
is an asshole.

You could
take me to it.

I can't have everybody
thinking I'm a cootie
sitting alone in my room.

You don't want to
go in there with me.

Yes, I do.

What they going to think?
You walk in there with
some meatball?

There gonna think I've got
the best-looking guy
in the whole place.

I seen some of these guys
when I was looking for you.

They dress like shit.

You must've
terrorized the place. (LAUGHS)

Yeah, I did.

So, how about it?
You gonna bail me out?

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Ladies and gentlemen,
we just got a weird request.

But we're gonna
do it anyway.

(PLAYING
STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT)

(FRANK SINATRA SINGING
STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT)

( BABY, IT'S YOU PLAYS)