Baby Ghost (1995) - full transcript
A hack photographer tries to help a group of people escape from a high-rise office building which is haunted by a mischief-making ghost.
(electronic music)
(laughter)
- Okay Timmy.
Now let's give me a great big smile, okay?
What do ya say?
Give me a great big smile, huh?
Come on Timmy.
Now, give your old Uncle
Winslow a nice smile
across that handsome face of
yours huh, what do ya say?
- Mom said to not talk to strangers.
- I understand, that's
real good advice mom.
Wow, you're a good kid
to listen to your mom
like that Timmy.
Alright let's get a picture
of that nice guy now huh?
I think if your just chew that bubble gum
maybe a little bit less,
well I'll get you a picture
and then you can get
outta here and go play
with your friends huh?
Come on Timmy, don't chew
that, don't blow the bubble.
Timmy, don't blow the bubbles okay?
Timmy don't, now that
bubble's gonna break.
Let me help you get that
bubblegum off your face Timmy.
Let's see here.
Just a minute mom.
- Ahh mom he's hurting me.
- What are you doing to my son?
- Okay well you want him to
look good for the picture
don't ya?
- Are you saying may
son doesn't look good?
- Oh no, he's a very
hansom young gentleman.
- Mom I want a candy bar.
- No hunni, that'll spoil your dinner.
- I think I'm having low blood sugar.
- Here, take your sister with you
and get something for your brother
and also get me a Snickers bar.
- Oh hey could you get me a
Milky Way while you're out there
- Excuse me, my daughters are
not your personal errand girls
besides you're supposed
to be taking pictures,
not eating candy bars.
- You're right.
- Alright, run along to the candy machine.
- Well, well alright Timmy.
We're gonna try it one more time eh mom?
Alright Timmy now, one smile that.
You got chocolate all over
your face Timmy (laughs).
- So which way is the candy machine?
- How am I supposed to
know I don't live here.
- Well duh.
- So which way is it?
- Tell you what, you go that
way and I'll go this way.
- Fine.
(mysterious music)
- Hey, what are you doing here?
(suspenseful music)
(chains rattling)
- I know, mommy's measurements,
36-24-58.
- Hey you little brat, where are you?
You cannot hide from me.
I know you're in here.
I can tell.
I was in Nam, recon on
the Ho Chi Minh Trail.
I spent three years in
a Vietcong prison camp.
I'd eat bugs and rats to stay alive.
It was horrible.
Actually the rats weren't that bad.
The meat tenderized with pepper.
Anyway, it taught me how
to use all my senses.
I can track a person just by their smell.
I have the reflexes of a panther
and the strength of a tiger
(sneeze whooshes)
Ah ha!
Now I've got you.
(loud crash)
(intense music)
(metal clanging)
- Where have you been?
- There was this man and
he was talking about lions
and panthers and guys named Hootim.
- Your imagination is strange.
Next you'll be seeing ghosts.
- Do you think this place is haunted?
- The only think haunted is your brain.
Come on, let's go.
- The hearing never rests.
Wait, bad, yeah it's scary bad.
(screeches)
- I know I can get a
great picture of this kid.
- Come on children, come on.
We have wasted enough time.
- Is this check good?
I guess not.
I guess it's just not
my day, just not my day.
(mysterious music)
Miss!
I haven't read my horoscope all day.
I forgot all about my horoscope.
Boy that's not like me, busy day.
LA Life!
LA Life, horoscopes, horoscopes.
You are in for a surprising day,
some of which may be rather unpleasant.
Don't stay indoors.
Get out.
Don't be confused.
Talk to someone who knows.
Madame Zora!
Madame Zora, I haven't
talked to her for hours.
1-900 (phone dialing)
(light orchestral music)
(phone rings)
- This is Madame Zora.
I see all, I know all,
past present future,
the secrets of the universe are.
- Uh it's me.
It's Winslow Cobblepot.
- Oh, hello again.
- Look I, I just had to talk to ya.
I had this terrible day.
Well I wanted to talk to you
and see if you could make it better.
- Mr. Cobblepot, I mean Winslow.
Don't you think it would be better
if you tried to work out
some of your own problems.
- But isn't that what you're for.
- Listen, you seem like a nice guy to me
and although I haven't met you,
you seem to be sweet and kind.
You shouldn't be spending all your money
talking to telephone psychics.
You should be out living your life,
doing things that you enjoy,
doing things that don't
cost three 99 a minute.
- But talking to you makes me happy.
I mean you make me feel special
and besides I mean all your predictions
well they've been 100% right on the money.
- They are?
I mean, yes, yes, yes, of course they are.
Listen let me read your cards for you.
- What do they say, what do they say?
- Just a minute, you cannot
rush the ancient arts.
Well, your first card is the magician.
This is your signifier.
- Is that good?
- Yes, yes, it shows that you
are a man of good character.
Yet, your 2nd card is the tower.
A large structure, like
a fortress or a prison.
- Oh I bet it's this
building that I work in.
Madam Zora sometimes I
tell ya, this place is,
is well it is like a prison to me.
(gasps)
what, what's the matter?
- Nothing, nothing.
Your wheel of fortune card is reversed.
- Wheel of fortune!
Ooo this is like Vanna White.
I'm gonna be on the Wheel of Fortune show!
- This means strange
and unexplainable events
are about to happen.
- Boy, just what I need in my life,
strange and unexplainable events, go on.
- The hangman.
- The what?
- Mr. Copperpot, this card is
directly above your signifier.
It indicates a period of
frustration and helplessness.
Strange.
- Strange, well what is it Madam Zora?
Tell me what it is.
- Ohhh, and the devil.
- The devil?
The devil I mean what's
he got to do with it?
- Mr. Copperpot, this card does not refer
to the devil, devil.
It crosses the fool,
meaning devilish influences
like a practical joker.
- Oh, oh I know what it is.
It's that security guard
downstairs (laughs).
I tell ya, that guy is a practical joke.
He plays practical jokes on me everyday.
- Practical jokes, mine too.
- Huh?
- Nothing, never mind.
Mr. Cobblepot, my advice
to you is go home.
Lock your doors and stay in
bed until tomorrow morning.
- But why?
I mean what does it say
about tomorrow morning?
- The next cards are
judgment and the lovers.
- Lovers?
- yeah, lovers.
Mr. Cobblepot, listen.
I think that's enough for now.
Please feel free to call
back later, much later
and thank you for calling
the Master of Light,
Institute Psychic Hotline.
For entertainment purposes only.
- She's a fortune teller.
She lives in Tupelo, Missouri someplace
and she charges me three
dollars and 99 cents a minute
and even she hangs up on me.
(sighs)
- No this can't be.
Now, let's see what my cards say.
They say the same thing.
(slow music)
- Another day, day, well I
don't wanna talk about that.
Jimeny Christmas.
Lovers, I like that.
Stranger things have happened Winslow.
Stranger things have happened.
Go home Winslow, go home.
And goodnight Mrs.
Cobblepot, wherever you are.
(door shuts)
(upbeat music)
(screaming and struggling)
- Oh it is you.
Sorry about that Mr. Cobblepot.
I thought you were somebody else.
- Who are you looking for?
- A little girl.
- Little girl?
- Yeah.
- Do you often use
choke-holds on little girls?
- It seems to work when you're babysittin.
- Look you idiot.
I never want you using a
choke-hold on a little girl
or anybody else for that matter.
- What about a lawyer sir?
- Lawyer, okay.
- I think we're on to somethin'
- Yeah sure.
You stop that!
Now look, all I wanna do is
I wanna get on this elevator.
I wanna go home and rest, okay?
- Okay sir, but the elevator
isn't working right.
- What happened?
- I don't know, they seem to
be stopping on all the floors.
Some little kids pushing all the buttons.
- Little kids?
Is that why you're sneaking
around here acting goofy?
- It's my job to protect this building.
- Against little kids?
- Especially little kids.
Well I'm goin' up to the upper
floors to check them out sir.
Have a nice night.
- Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
(high-pitch laughter)
- Well, there it is.
- There what is?
- The building.
- What building.
- The building that we is gonna rob.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah sure, sure.
(intense music)
where is it?
- Hey, hey, pretty boy.
- Oh yeah.
That's a pretty nice lookin' building.
You know it reminds me of
that place on 33rd Street.
You remember that Ike's back in New York?
Both buildings had very
similar agriculture.
- Hey listen, did your parents
have any children that lived?
- Come on god, give me a break will ya?
Just wanna get down in
the elevator and go home.
Please.
(dramatic music)
(screams)
- Just what do you think
you're doing jumping
out at me like that?
God you could give someone a heart attack.
I cannot believe they
pay you for what you do.
Is this your idea of
guarding the building?
What is the matter with you?
- Sorry mam.
- Madame Zora, don't you forget it.
What is it?
- Yes Missus, Madame Zora!
- That's better.
Now get out of my way, I
have to catch the elevator.
- Elevator's broken.
- Well why don't you
call the maintenance man
up here to fix it?
Where is that no-good loafer anyway?
(mumbles and laughter)
- Look, look (cackles)
excitement, oh boy.
- Elliot,
- Oh Mr. Grabit hi.
- It's Cobblepot.
- That's what I just said.
The coffee pot.
- Yes, never mind.
Look, Elliot, I think
you better have a look
at this elevator.
(sighs)
what are you doing?
- Looking at the elevator,
like you told me.
- I didn't mean look at the elevator.
I mean, fix the elevator.
- What's wrong with it?
- It's broken.
- Broken how?
- Well it's broken see,
it doesn't work right.
It stops at every floor.
- But it's supposed to, it's an elevator.
- No, see I know that.
But it stops at every floor all floors.
- Well all elevators do.
If they're not working,
then they don't, right?
- You're not gonna give
me a break are you god?
- Who are you talking to Mr. Cobblepot?
- Just the ghosts.
- Ghosts?
- Look, never mind.
Will you just fix the elevator?
(sighs)
what are you doing?
- Eating my lunch.
- Eating your lunch?
- Yeah.
Union rules.
- Look, would you just fix the elevator.
Please fix the elevator!
- Alright, alright.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Alright, it's okay.
Even photographers are high-strung.
- Yes, yes I know, I'm sorry.
- Yeah (sighs).
(dramatic music)
(door screeches)
(high-pitch laughter)
- You shut up, shut up.
I'm trying to think how we
is gonna get into that place.
- Well, why don't we just
walk in the front door.
- And I suppose the like
security guard is gonna like
open up all the offices and
let us into all the wall safes.
- Well, I don't know about that
but I mean you have to
think about people out here.
They're very laid-back.
Maybe if we go up to him nicely,
explain what we do, he
might do that for us.
I mean how are we gonna
know if we don't try?
- Pickle head, listen to me.
All this yammerin' is like
givin' me a brain tumor.
I mean right here, you know?
I'm losing frontal lobes right here.
- You should really get that checked.
I mean a brain tumor that's
nothing to sneeze at.
You could end up like Uncle Vito,
standin' out there in park
with his underwear on his head.
That could be you.
- You know, I'm gonna hit
you so hard your whole family
is gonna die okay?
- Violent mood swings.
I'm beginning to worry about you then.
Besides, if my whole family died,
wouldn't you die too,
since you're my brother?
- I'm adopted okay?
- Really?
- Listen look, okay.
I got a little quiz for you okay?
- Alright.
- Little little quiz just
like uh, you know, like on TV.
Okay, what is in my hand?
- Oh Vinny, you poor sap.
You're farther gone than I thought.
That's a glove.
- Yeah, it's a glove.
Here, shut up!
I swear I'm gonna take you,
I'm gonna put you in the trunk.
Then I'm gonna drive
it off the pier, okay?
- Now Vinny, I really don't
think that's a very good idea.
All that salt water would
be murder on the paint job.
And as you know, Uncle
Franky painted this car
himself, by hand.
And I know, you don't
want Franky mad at you.
No sir.
Of course he might not
get so mad if Aunt Sylvia
was locked in the trunk with me.
- Would you shut up and
get out of the car yous?
- Well where are we going?
- We're going to your funeral.
- Wow.
Do you think Gina Belafacci will show?
I'd love to see her again.
- Just shut up okay?
Now put your cap on okay?
Your bald spot is giving me like,
you're blinding me okay?
Now just get out of the car okay?
(dramatic music)
alright, here.
Get the tools.
- Why is the car broke?
- Yeah, you know, the car is broken.
- Oh great, what do we do now?
- Tell you what, why don't
you get in there and look,
to check out the car okay?
- Alright Vinny.
- Alright, what do ya see in there?
- I can't see much, it's pretty dark.
- Well let me help you
cast some illumination
on the whole scene okay?
(metal clanging)
okay, now do you see some stars?
- I see stars Vinny.
- You see the stars?
- I see big birds.
- Big birds.
Bonnie.
- And Robert De Niro.
- Yeah, he's Italian.
- And John Travolta.
- He's also Italian.
Hey Saturday Night Fever you know dancin?
- Not bad.
- That' good okay okay now shut up.
Alright, alright, give me the tools.
Okay now, it's pretty
dark in there you know?
- Yeah.
- There's probly not
too many people around.
Maybe like a security guard,
maybe even a cleaning lady.
- Cleaning lady?
- Yeah.
- You think she's gotta
do all these windows?
Remember Aunt Gladys she
had that cleaning lady.
She didn't do windows, what is that?
You clean or you do not clean.
Don't give me this I don't do windows.
Uncle Joe had to climb out there
and scrub the windows of the whole house.
I don't even know why they hired her.
- Hey Rocco.
- Yeah?
- You wanna see some more stars?
- Yeah.
Like maybe Clint Eastwood.
Or how about that chick
who played Catwoman
in the Batman movie?
I'm talkin' the movie
now, not the TV show.
The lady who played her in the TV show,
she's probly like 114 by now.
At this point in my life I
don't need a relationship
with an older woman.
- Hey snapper head, get over there!
(metal clanging)
alright alright, how you
doin' there, lookin' good.
Okay take this.
Put that somewhere.
You know this looks like
a job for Mr. Crowbar.
- Who's Mr. Crowbar?
Is that friend of Cousin Mikey's?
Is he here?
- Shut up snapper head you.
Alright, just don't stand there.
Give me a hand okay?
(clapping)
you know I knew you was gonna do that.
(dramatic music)
- Finally!
(rock music)
- Oh thank god okay.
No!
Help!
No, no.
- Oh jeeze, you think anybody heard us?
- Nah nobody heard us.
- Why did you slam the door?
I didn't slam the door.
- Who slammed the door then?
- Maybe it was the wind?
- The wind?
- Yeah.
- You know Rocco, I should have
taken Uncle Petey's advice.
Taken you to that
alligator farm and like tie
a bunch of chicken to your
body and leave you there.
- You know I don't think
that would've worked Vinny.
I don't that alligators eat chicken.
They have more a steak
and potatoes kind of diet.
Of course in this part of
the country I could be wrong.
Everybody's into that fat free.
They eat chicken all the time.
Of course it's gotta be skinless.
- You through?
- Yeah.
- Good, get over there!
- Elliot!
Elliot!
Elliot!
Cheese and pimento.
Elliot!
Elliot!
(dramatic music)
- Ugh, cheese and pimento!
(high-pitch laughter)
who is that?
Who's there?
Don't you come near me!
I have pepper spray and
I just took a course
on how to use it.
(high-pitch laughter)
(sighs)
(screams)
- Is that you Charlie?
I guess you're not are ya?
- No I'm not.
Listen, what are you doin' up here?
- Security, what are you doin' up here?
- I'm just workin' on the elevator.
I was stuck there for
about a half an hour.
- Yeah and what were you
doin' on the elevator?
- Tryin' to fix it.
- You didn't happen to see
any kids in there did ya?
- Kids?
- Yeah, especially little green ones.
(chuckles)
- Little green kids?
- Yeah.
- What have you been drinking?
Whatever it is, save me some.
- Seriously and on the 6th floor.
I saw it flying through the air.
- Little green kids?
- I saw it, it was laughing too.
- You mean that it had a high-pitch,
like a little kid voice?
- Yeah.
- You know what?
I've heard that on the elevator.
- I told you I saw it.
Listen, you don't think it
could be some little green men
that came from another planet?
- Little green men?
- Yeah.
- You mean like aliens?
- Yeah, come to think of it
I saw a movie some time ago.
- Yeah?
- It was about these three
aliens that came to this planet.
And they these beams and
they got in a cemetery
and brought these dead
bodies back to life.
- Dead bodies?
- Yeah, dead bodies.
And the worst part of
it, there was a fellah,
strong man, bullheaded and he's
walking through the cemetery
sequence, big fellah like
this you know what I mean?
Didn't say a word at all,
he looked straight ahead.
Straight ahead and then, next thing,
he had this lovely little
slick chick with him.
Oh what a body she had, black dress.
- Woman in a black dress huh?
- Yeah.
- That's my kind of aliens.
- Yeah, do you know that was
shot right here in Hollywood?
- No kidding?
- Yeah, it was called Flying
Saucers over Hollywood.
(high-pitch laughter)
- let's get out of here man!
- Wait for me, wait for me.
(screaming)
(door slams)
- Think the police can get
me out of the building.
Nine one one.
Oh, the old nine-one-one
is busy (chuckles).
Huh?
Oh what's, first the
windows, then the doors,
then the phone, now the lights.
What could possibly happen next?
(high-pitch laughter)
(intense music)
Wait a minute?
What are you doing here?
No no, don't don't!
Hey now, you put that down.
Put those scissors down.
Why I oughta!
You leave that alone now
don't you, don't you.
Don't touch that, please don't cut that.
(high-pitch laughter)
(groans)
no, no please, I.
I don't know who you are
you little whipper-snapper
but you're gonna get it.
No, no please.
No no, don't turn on the light.
Please don't turn on the lights!
You little monster.
(high-pitch laughter)
Hey!
I'm locked in a, help!
Somebody help me please.
- Whoever invented heels anyway?
(heels clacking)
(mumbling)
Oh no, what is going on?
That does it.
From now on I am working from home.
(high-pitch laughter)
who is that?
Hello?
Who's up there?
(dramatic music)
(screams)
(high-pitch laughter)
Please, leave me alone.
(dramatic music)
- [Cobblepot] Help?
- Hello?
Is anybody there?
- I'm here!
I'm in here!
- Where are you?
- I'm down the hall on
the last door on the left,
on the right.
- Hello?
- Hello, look look.
The door is stuck.
Can you try and unstick from your side?
- No, it's stuck out here too.
What am I supposed to do?
- I don't know, you could go for help?
- No, I tried all the doors downstairs.
They don't work either!
And there's this thing out here.
- Thing?
Is it small and green?
- Yeah, what the heck is it?
- I don't know.
It looks like a baby ghost.
- What?
- A baby ghost!
- A baby ghost, that's impossible.
- Well what do you think it is?
- Uh no, it's coming.
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah I'm fine.
What if that thing gets in here?
- Don't worry about it, I'll protect us.
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna open the door.
I'm gonna whack the little
whipper-snapper with this.
And then will escape on the stairs.
You ready?
Well, it looks like we'll
have to stay here a while.
- I'm gonna listen to some
guy who's wearing a bowtie?
- Oh boy, you're pretty tough for a lady
who just looks like she fell
off the back of a gypsy caravan
- Hey, I'll have you know these
clothes are very important
to my work.
- This is gonna be good.
Just what kind of work is it that you do?
- Tarot cards, yeah I read tarot cards.
- Tarot cards?
- Yeah.
- Oh, well, that's different.
- What do you mean?
- Well I mean I believe in tarot cards.
As a matter of fact, I just had mine read
just a few minutes ago.
- That's really strange
'cause I just did a reading
a few minutes ago.
- Oh really?
That is, well what?
- This guy right, he calls
me like ten times a day,
total idiot, always you know
wantin to get his cards read.
Total loser.
I mean he's probly a shoe
salesman or a baby photographer
or something like that.
- I'm a baby photographer (laughs)
- Wait a minute.
You kind of sound familiar to me.
- You sound a little familiar to me.
- Oh my god, it can't be.
- Madame Zora!
- Winslow Copperpot?
- My goodness this is amazing.
What are you doing here?
- I work here up on the 9th floor.
- Well, wait a minute.
I call the Master of Light
Institute Psychic Hotline,
I mean.
- Oh, it's a switchboard
in Tupelo, Mississippi.
They route all the calls to
us from all over the country.
- Tupelo, Mississippi?
Well, you mean I've been
talking to you all this time
and you're just three floors above me?
- God, this is incredible.
I mean we've had, I mean oh my god.
- What?
- Oh my god, oh my god,
I gotta get out of here.
Wait a minute, it's
okay see, all this time
I've been wondering what you look like
and now here you are in my studio!
- Wait a minute, your studio?
- Yeah.
- Im trapped in your studio?
- Yeah.
- Oh my god, I gotta get outta here.
- Good luck!
- Oh god!
- Why why what's the problem?
- This morning, don't you remember?
Your reading, my cards
said the same thing.
- Oh my god.
- we're doomed!
- No, no, no look.
I can get us out of here.
I'm sure of it.
It's that that, whatever it is,
wants to keep us in here for some reason.
(slow music)
- Why?
I never did anything to it.
- Well I don't know I mean,
well you're the one that sees
all this weird psychic stuff.
- No I'm not.
I learned how to read tarot cards
from the mail-order catalog.
I don't even believe in demons
and ghosts and all that stuff
- But, what do you mean, you're a phony?
- Well, yeah.
- Well isn't this just great?
I mean, you ought to see
my phone bill last month.
Three 99 a minute, it
adds up pretty quick.
- Hey I'm sorry.
Besides everyone knows that
all that stuff is just fake.
- Hey, you advertise on TV.
And what about the Master of Light, huh?
What about Father Denalgo?
- He's an ex auto mechanic from Detroit.
He formed the institute when
he found out how much money
those 900 phone lines make.
- Not only am I a lowly baby photographer,
but I'm trapped in this
building by a ghost with a woman
who I trusted but now
I find out is a phony.
A fake!
A charlatan!
A no-good,
- Hey alright, okay, I'm sorry you know?
I just wasn't good at
anything else, alright?
I got kicked out of cosmetology school.
So, I became a telephone psychic.
- I get your point.
Well I'm sorry, I was
a little rough on ya.
Let's forget about everything
that happened before
and hey, we'll just
start out as friends huh?
Huh?
Oh come on!
- Alright, just until we get out of here.
- Well, now to get out of here.
- But what about that thing out there.
- Look, if it's a ghost
or if it's an alien.
(high-pitch laughter)
- There's no such thing.
- Fine, then what is that thing out there?
- Okay, alright, let's say okay, a ghost.
Alright, let's say, let's
say that it's a ghost.
- Just to call it something.
- Yeah.
- Okay, fine, fine.
- A ghost right?
My spirit guide.
Stupid ghost.
- Spirit guide book.
- Ghost right?
Here we go, ghosts are the
spirits of well dead things.
- Dead things?
- Yeah, it's when a
spirit decides not to go
into the afterlife.
It stays around the place where it died
and haunts it until,
- Well until what?
- Oh I'm sorry, until
it decides to go away
or it drives away the people
who are living in its hot zone.
- This building, this must be a hot zone.
- Okay, okay.
The ghost cannot leave until
it's either banished or,
- Or what?
- Someone is forced to take
it out of the boundary?
- Yeah well, as far as I'm
concerned it can go any place
it wants, but what I don't
understand is why it wants
to play it's own practical jokes on us.
- Maybe some ghosts are mischievous.
I mean it looked kind of small to me.
Maybe it's like a little kid or a baby.
- Well why don't we just
call the Ghostbusters.
- Maybe we could.
You know there are people, I've seen it.
There are people that
exercise spirits for a living.
- Like Jane Fonda?
- No, no, no like the Max
Von Sydow in The Exorcist.
- Oh, oh Lynda Blair.
It's not gonna start
spittin' up all that green.
- No Winslow, it's not like that.
Okay, umm spiritual exorcist.
Find out what the spirits
want and advise them to go on
into the beyond.
- Who ya gonna call?
- Ghostbusters!
Look, 24-hour spiritual hotline.
(slow music)
- What is it?
- This line is dead?
- Dead things.
Look, look, all I know is that
we have to get out of here.
Aren't there other people in the building?
I mean maybe somebody else can help us.
- The only ones I know of are
the security guard and Elliot.
- Oh great, two of the three stooges.
- Hey you know, I wonder if
they've seen the little guy yet?
(laughter)
(high-pitch laughter)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
- Hey hey hey get off my head you stupid.
I cannot believe this.
Get down off of there.
- Alright I'm comin', I'm comin.
Quit botherin' me I can't see.
- It's kind of silly to
like you know rob a building
during the daylight okay you know?
Get the dust off you.
- Okay!
(high-pitch laughter)
- Close the door!
Is that thing behind us?
- I don't think so man,
I think we lost him.
- I don't know what that things was
but it sure didn't look
like a space alien.
- You don't think it
could be a ghost do you?
- Man I don't believe in ghosts.
- You're right man, had to be an alien.
Had to be an alien.
- Yeah, what can we do?
- I don't know.
If it is an alien, it has to
have a reason for being here.
- What reason?
- Maybe it's an advance scout
waiting to report back to his planet.
- Why?
- An invasion!
- Yeah, an invasion.
You think they'll come
down here on this planet
and make slaves out of us so
they can do their evil doings?
- What other reason could there be?
- We cannot let that happen.
We have to do something
to save this earth.
- It's time we stop running
scared and do something.
- You and me?
- That's right, it's up
to us to save humanity.
(high-pitch laughter)
(screaming)
- So how'd you get the name Madame Zora?
Is that some kind of royalty or something?
- No, I just made it
up you know to go along
with that whole ooo
psychic thing you know?
It's a lot better than my real name.
- Well, what's your real name?
- Never mind, no, no.
- No really, what's your real name?
- Alright, you promise you won't laugh.
- Of course I won't laugh.
- Okay, it's Mildred Kirbopple.
- Hahahah!
- Hey you promised you wouldn't laugh!
What is this?
- Mildred Kirbopple (laughs)
- Let me ask you something.
What kind of a name is
Winslow Cobblepot anyway?
What is that?
- What's wrong with Cobblepot?
It's a good name!
- Yeah it's great if you happen
to be a cartoon character.
- Yeah well your name sounds
like that wrastling champion
from the mid-60s (groans)
- I'll have you know, my
mother was national champion
wrestler for six consecutive years.
Say uncle.
- Uncle.
(door pounding)
Wait a minute, I heard something.
Time out!
I think the door opened.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- Careful.
- I'll be careful.
- Is it out there?
- I don't see it.
- Wait so why do I have to go first?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Winslow!
Come on come on.
Would you stop doing that?
- Looks pretty clear to me.
- Okay, okay.
What is that?
Did the police do that?
- No that thing must have done it.
The police aren't nearly that neat.
- What it has a sweet tooth?
- Come on.
- No I, do you think it's okay?
- It's okay, just stay
with me Miss Crabapple.
- It's Kirbopple.
- Oh yeah, right.
- Come on dagnabbit.
All these doors are locked.
- Of course they're locked.
Why do you think we brought the tire iron?
- In case we have to fix a flat?
- You know I'm going to
fix the flat in your head
if you don't shut up.
You know here we'll try that one.
- No kind of luck.
- Hey, that one over there is ajar.
- Oh, nasty brain tumor.
No Vinny, that one is a door.
You see if it was a jar,
it would be small and glass
and filled up with some
sort of jam and jelly.
- You mean like your head?
Shut up already I mean,
all your inane babbling
is kind of like making me crazy.
- You know Vinny I think
you should give up coffee.
I think all that caffeine
is having a bad effect
on your tumor.
- No you're having a
bad effect on my tumor.
I ain't got no tumor, just
shut up you snapper head you.
Get up, I cannot take you nowhere.
Shut up!
I swear, next time when
I go rob some place,
I'm gonna take Cousin Swashy, okay?
He knows how to be quiet
because he's got no tongue.
Ah this one.
(dramatic music)
(high-pitch laughter)
(grunting)
- You alright?
What is it?
Speak to me?
Where did that come from?
What happened, what's goin' on?
- Was you hittin' this?
- No, no,
- When this was on my
head was you hittin' this?
- I was pullin' it off ya.
- You was pullin' off me?
- I cannot imagine where it came from.
- Now look in there, look inside there.
You see inside there?
Hey, hey, hey don't hit nobody in the head
with no bucket okay?
I swear, take that off your head.
Okay, okay, we're okay.
You okay?
- I see little birdies.
- Little birdies yeah I see 'em too.
(dramatic music)
hey hey come on, wake up, wake up.
- What happened?
- Alright.
- What happened?
- Hey somebody is trying
to make chumps out of us.
With you, they succeeded.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute, who could have done this?
- I don't know but I aim to find out.
- Okay.
- Come on let's go.
You go first, I don't want more
buckets falling on my head.
- Don't rush me.
(dramatic music)
(whispering)
- Winslow, you have to stop doing that!
- Sorry.
- You're scaring me to death.
All the exits are blocked.
- It's alright.
I'll find a way out.
- Yeah right.
There's water all around.
Where is it from?
- I don't know.
- Don't like it down here.
- I don't either.
- Over there!
What is that?
- What's this old box?
- Be careful, you don't know what it is.
- Stop that!
This chain here must
have held it together.
I'm sorry.
- Do you always have to drop everything?
Oh my gosh, these symbols.
They belong to the occult.
- What do you mean?
- You broke my fingernail!
- Sorry!
- Yes they're symbols of
the occult of all sorts.
I mean these seem to be ancient.
Like in the middle ages!
- Wow, what's it doing here?
- Look at this.
Don't drop it.
- I'm not going to drop it.
Just let me have it.
I didn't drop it.
- Set it down, set the box down.
To he who comes in contact
with the spirit of the box.
Let it be known that it
be the soul of a child
struck down in the year of our lord 1635.
- 1635?
- Yeah, in the providence of our camp
in the state of Massachusetts.
- Are you making this up?
- Would you stop it?
Stay over there.
Don't touch me.
Also, let it be known that the spirit,
- Well what?
- I was doing that earlier.
- You're doing it again (laughter).
Read the note.
The spirit is full of
mischief and tomfoolery
should be held here in this
mystical containment box
for all eternity.
Let it be know that great
havoc and suffering will come
if this baby spirit should
be let loose among thee.
- Well, what did you?
I mean well what's it doing here?
- I mean whoever built this building okay?
They must have unearthed this box somehow
and I don't know someone
found it and put it
in this storage space.
- 300 years ago?
- Well it looks like it's
been here for quite a while.
- That's amazing that the
symbols were what kept
the baby ghost inside.
What?
- The box has been opened.
- Yes I can see that.
Okay, okay the ghost is loose so.
- Yes.
- So then, we have got to
try to get it back inside.
(dramatic music)
- Easier said than done okay?
You've seen that thing out
there it's like a ghost.
How do you put a ghost back in a box?
- I don't know but we have to try.
Wait a minute.
Maybe, maybe we can trick
it back into the box.
What do you say?
It's our only chance.
You got a better idea?
Alright then.
- Alright well, we'll try.
- Get the box.
- Say, if we caught one of those,
actually if we could capture
one of those little space aliens,
you think that would
stop the invasion forces
from coming in?
- Yeah, you know once the
space creatures find out
how tough us terrans
are, they'll think twice
about invading us.
- Those terrans?
Yeah that's what all the
aliens call the surface?
- Yeah but listen, how did you know that?
- I saw it on TV.
Now that's how the
government's getting this,
from the shows like Star Trek.
And the make the movies like
the one you were telling me.
- Yeah, yeah.
- But they won't let the
rest of the population know
because it would cause a worldwide panic.
- Listen, I was just thinking,
if we find one of these aliens,
what do you think we'll
be able to do with them,
turn them over to the government?
- No way.
They'd just take them away,
we'd never hear from them again.
Now, we'll take them to the newspapers.
That way they can't deny it
and the rest of the world
know, we're not alone.
- You think we can make
some money out of this?
- Money?
Come on, we're doing
this to save humanity.
- Humanity?
But we need to make some
money for our troubles.
- Yeah I think we might.
Yeah, yeah.
- Buckets, buckets.
No money, open offices, nothing.
You know this place bites,
let's get out of here.
- Hey, shh, we haven't
even stolen nothin' yet.
- Okay fine.
Here, we'll take this tree okay?
You happy, can we go now?
- What are we gonna do with the tree?
You're a moron.
- Hey I ain't no moron.
I just don't like this place.
It's weird.
- Hey, you're weird.
(high-pitch laughter)
- What the hell was that?
Let's get out of here.
- Hey, hey, hey get off of me!
Nothin doin, we aint goin' nowhere
until we find who's doin' all this.
I'm gonna take care of
him, the New York way.
- Oh yeah, the New York Way.
We're gonna be rude and obnoxious to him.
- Get outta here!
I swear.
(dramatic music)
- Winslow, do you really think
this plan is going to work?
- Of course it's going to work.
See we already know the uh,
well whatever it is, we
know that he likes donuts.
So, he'll unsuspectingly
eat the trail of donuts
until he hits the box
and then (clap crash),
we got him!
(giggles)
What what's the matter?
- It's just, I just hope
that this baby ghost
is really stupid.
- Let's try one of your ideas.
(high-pitch laughter)
- I don't have any ideas.
- Oh you don't have any ideas?
- No.
- Well then perhaps you might
like to help me with mine?
- Okay.
Oh my gosh, do you think that's him?
- I just,
(dramatic music)
(high-pitch laughter)
- He's coming, I can't breath.
(dramatic music)
- He's taking the bait!
- I know.
I can't believe it.
This stupid plan might work.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- He's getting closer!
- Gotcha, ya space-suckin' alien!
- Yeah, we're gonna capture you!
- Elliot no!
- And we're gonna make
money, lots of money!
And you ain't gonna be
able to conquer this earth.
(laughter and screaming)
- Elliot!
- I knew this stupid plan
of yours wouldn't work.
- Elliot, you two.
You two are even more stupid
than I thought you were.
- The baby ghost got away.
- Hi, Mr. Cobblepot.
Long time huh?
- Your still here with us.
- I am trying to catch the little ghost.
What is it that you two are trying to do?
- We're trying to save humanity.
- And make some money.
- Ahh, make some money and save humanity?
You two really screwed it up good!
- What do you mean?
- What I mean is if we don't
catch the little ghost,
we don't get out of the
building, do you see?
And if we don't get out of the building,
then we can't save humanity can we?
And we can't make any
money can we (laughter)?
- Baby ghost?
And there's no alien that's
supposed to conquer the earth?
(laughter)
- No, not aliens.
Now look, if you two
would really like to help,
perhaps maybe you could,
well get up off the ground
and try to find the
little creature for us eh?
- Yeah.
Help me.
(slow music)
- Hey, skulk.
Hey, hey, hey Rocco, what's that?
- What?
- That.
- I don't know but it looks like donuts.
- Donuts?
- Yeah.
- Who would put donuts all over the floor?
- I don't know.
Remember Uncle Squashy?
He use to take carrots
and cram 'em in his ear.
- Hey, hey shut up about
Uncle Squashy alright?
Come on, come on let's just go.
Skulk.
(high-pitch laughter)
- What is that?
- I don't know man.
It looks like Cousin Petey.
- But Cousin Petey wasn't like green.
(mumbles)
- What should we do?
- Get the heck out of here.
(screaming)
(high-pitch laughter)
- I still don't get it.
- You see, we lure the ghost down here
and then while one of us distracts it,
the other one snaps the box shut, huh?
(laughter)
- How are you gonna fool it?
- What, just because it was
wise to the donut trick?
- Right.
(laughter)
- I have something that
no kid, that no human,
no ghost no spirit on the
entire planet earth can resist.
Tudah!
- Video game, uh huh!
- I tell ya.
When that little ghost sees this,
well he'll go for it like
a pack of ants at a picnic.
(laughter)
- Winslow?
That ghost has been in the
box what, about 300 years?
- Yeah about 300 years.
- Well, he's not gonna know what this is.
He's not gonna know what
a video game is right?
- He will okay, don't worry.
I got five nephews, I know
what I'm talkin' about alright?
Alright come on come on, hide hide hide.
Over here, over here,
over here, hide, hide.
Hide, hide, come on, hide, hide.
- But what about the video game?
- Oh yeah!
Sorry.
Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.
- I think I heard something.
- It sounded kind of human, sort of.
- There's only one thing
I know of that makes
that kind of noise.
- Yeah, a New York thug.
(screaming)
- Who were those guys?
(dramatic music)
(video game beeps)
- Okay now, you go up and slam the box.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(mumbles)
very, be quiet.
Let's go.
(high-pitch laughter)
(screaming)
- Hey, that's my video game!
- You did it!
You did it!
(laughter)
- Of course I did.
If you want something done
right, get a woman to do it.
- Oh well (laughs).
- My game, it's broken.
- So this is how you treat
other people's property?
I demand that you replace it.
- What are you doing here Mrs. Rodman.
- Timmy left his video game here yesterday
and I came back to get it
but the building was closed.
So I figured we'd come by
first thing in the morning
but apparently you've been so
busy doing heaven knows what,
you can't take care of my son's things.
- Well, Mrs. Rodman, I
think I speak for all of us
when I say that we're gonna get together
and we're gonna buy little
Timmy here a new video game.
And also I think I speak
for all of us when I say,
Mrs. Rodman, shut your big mouth!
(laughter)
- Come on kids!
Well, have a good night.
Hey, hey, my check!
(screaming)
- Oh my gosh.
- Door open, daylight.
- It's been a long night.
- Oh my god.
(laughter)
- We're free.
No, we hid that so well,
I don't think anyone's
gonna find it for the next 300 years.
- Oh what about Elliot
and that security guard?
- Oh my gosh they were
like rambling on and on
about like getting rich going
to the National Enquirer
and selling the story.
- Well I don't even think
the National Enquirer
is gonna buy that story.
- I don't think so.
(laughter)
- Um, so what are you gonna do now?
- I'm gonna go home and
I'm gonna go to sleep
for about a week.
- Well, after you wake up, do you think
we could get together?
- You mean like a date?
- Well, yeah.
We'll go to wrestling match.
(laughter)
- A wrestling match?
- Yeah.
- Well I usually make it a
policy never to date my clients
but in this case I guess
I could make an exception.
One thing though.
- What's that?
- Lose that bowtie.
- This bowtie?
Why this bowtie has been in
my family over 125 years.
- You remember that guy
we ran by in the hallway?
- Yeah?
- I followed him down into
the basement and I found this.
- Ohhhh.
- It's nice huh?
- It's beautiful.
Hey, hey what do you
think is inside of that?
- I don't know I can't open it.
It's got a lock.
- That's one of them combination locks.
- Yeah and I ain't got no combination.
- Yeah, hey try anything.
- Alright.
- Yeah, I'll start the car.
- You got any ideas?
- Yeah, you remember cousin Elvira?
- Yeah.
- Hey hey that's right.
Why don't you try her measurements?
(laughter)
36-24-58.
(laughter)
(upbeat music)
(laughter)
- Okay Timmy.
Now let's give me a great big smile, okay?
What do ya say?
Give me a great big smile, huh?
Come on Timmy.
Now, give your old Uncle
Winslow a nice smile
across that handsome face of
yours huh, what do ya say?
- Mom said to not talk to strangers.
- I understand, that's
real good advice mom.
Wow, you're a good kid
to listen to your mom
like that Timmy.
Alright let's get a picture
of that nice guy now huh?
I think if your just chew that bubble gum
maybe a little bit less,
well I'll get you a picture
and then you can get
outta here and go play
with your friends huh?
Come on Timmy, don't chew
that, don't blow the bubble.
Timmy, don't blow the bubbles okay?
Timmy don't, now that
bubble's gonna break.
Let me help you get that
bubblegum off your face Timmy.
Let's see here.
Just a minute mom.
- Ahh mom he's hurting me.
- What are you doing to my son?
- Okay well you want him to
look good for the picture
don't ya?
- Are you saying may
son doesn't look good?
- Oh no, he's a very
hansom young gentleman.
- Mom I want a candy bar.
- No hunni, that'll spoil your dinner.
- I think I'm having low blood sugar.
- Here, take your sister with you
and get something for your brother
and also get me a Snickers bar.
- Oh hey could you get me a
Milky Way while you're out there
- Excuse me, my daughters are
not your personal errand girls
besides you're supposed
to be taking pictures,
not eating candy bars.
- You're right.
- Alright, run along to the candy machine.
- Well, well alright Timmy.
We're gonna try it one more time eh mom?
Alright Timmy now, one smile that.
You got chocolate all over
your face Timmy (laughs).
- So which way is the candy machine?
- How am I supposed to
know I don't live here.
- Well duh.
- So which way is it?
- Tell you what, you go that
way and I'll go this way.
- Fine.
(mysterious music)
- Hey, what are you doing here?
(suspenseful music)
(chains rattling)
- I know, mommy's measurements,
36-24-58.
- Hey you little brat, where are you?
You cannot hide from me.
I know you're in here.
I can tell.
I was in Nam, recon on
the Ho Chi Minh Trail.
I spent three years in
a Vietcong prison camp.
I'd eat bugs and rats to stay alive.
It was horrible.
Actually the rats weren't that bad.
The meat tenderized with pepper.
Anyway, it taught me how
to use all my senses.
I can track a person just by their smell.
I have the reflexes of a panther
and the strength of a tiger
(sneeze whooshes)
Ah ha!
Now I've got you.
(loud crash)
(intense music)
(metal clanging)
- Where have you been?
- There was this man and
he was talking about lions
and panthers and guys named Hootim.
- Your imagination is strange.
Next you'll be seeing ghosts.
- Do you think this place is haunted?
- The only think haunted is your brain.
Come on, let's go.
- The hearing never rests.
Wait, bad, yeah it's scary bad.
(screeches)
- I know I can get a
great picture of this kid.
- Come on children, come on.
We have wasted enough time.
- Is this check good?
I guess not.
I guess it's just not
my day, just not my day.
(mysterious music)
Miss!
I haven't read my horoscope all day.
I forgot all about my horoscope.
Boy that's not like me, busy day.
LA Life!
LA Life, horoscopes, horoscopes.
You are in for a surprising day,
some of which may be rather unpleasant.
Don't stay indoors.
Get out.
Don't be confused.
Talk to someone who knows.
Madame Zora!
Madame Zora, I haven't
talked to her for hours.
1-900 (phone dialing)
(light orchestral music)
(phone rings)
- This is Madame Zora.
I see all, I know all,
past present future,
the secrets of the universe are.
- Uh it's me.
It's Winslow Cobblepot.
- Oh, hello again.
- Look I, I just had to talk to ya.
I had this terrible day.
Well I wanted to talk to you
and see if you could make it better.
- Mr. Cobblepot, I mean Winslow.
Don't you think it would be better
if you tried to work out
some of your own problems.
- But isn't that what you're for.
- Listen, you seem like a nice guy to me
and although I haven't met you,
you seem to be sweet and kind.
You shouldn't be spending all your money
talking to telephone psychics.
You should be out living your life,
doing things that you enjoy,
doing things that don't
cost three 99 a minute.
- But talking to you makes me happy.
I mean you make me feel special
and besides I mean all your predictions
well they've been 100% right on the money.
- They are?
I mean, yes, yes, yes, of course they are.
Listen let me read your cards for you.
- What do they say, what do they say?
- Just a minute, you cannot
rush the ancient arts.
Well, your first card is the magician.
This is your signifier.
- Is that good?
- Yes, yes, it shows that you
are a man of good character.
Yet, your 2nd card is the tower.
A large structure, like
a fortress or a prison.
- Oh I bet it's this
building that I work in.
Madam Zora sometimes I
tell ya, this place is,
is well it is like a prison to me.
(gasps)
what, what's the matter?
- Nothing, nothing.
Your wheel of fortune card is reversed.
- Wheel of fortune!
Ooo this is like Vanna White.
I'm gonna be on the Wheel of Fortune show!
- This means strange
and unexplainable events
are about to happen.
- Boy, just what I need in my life,
strange and unexplainable events, go on.
- The hangman.
- The what?
- Mr. Copperpot, this card is
directly above your signifier.
It indicates a period of
frustration and helplessness.
Strange.
- Strange, well what is it Madam Zora?
Tell me what it is.
- Ohhh, and the devil.
- The devil?
The devil I mean what's
he got to do with it?
- Mr. Copperpot, this card does not refer
to the devil, devil.
It crosses the fool,
meaning devilish influences
like a practical joker.
- Oh, oh I know what it is.
It's that security guard
downstairs (laughs).
I tell ya, that guy is a practical joke.
He plays practical jokes on me everyday.
- Practical jokes, mine too.
- Huh?
- Nothing, never mind.
Mr. Cobblepot, my advice
to you is go home.
Lock your doors and stay in
bed until tomorrow morning.
- But why?
I mean what does it say
about tomorrow morning?
- The next cards are
judgment and the lovers.
- Lovers?
- yeah, lovers.
Mr. Cobblepot, listen.
I think that's enough for now.
Please feel free to call
back later, much later
and thank you for calling
the Master of Light,
Institute Psychic Hotline.
For entertainment purposes only.
- She's a fortune teller.
She lives in Tupelo, Missouri someplace
and she charges me three
dollars and 99 cents a minute
and even she hangs up on me.
(sighs)
- No this can't be.
Now, let's see what my cards say.
They say the same thing.
(slow music)
- Another day, day, well I
don't wanna talk about that.
Jimeny Christmas.
Lovers, I like that.
Stranger things have happened Winslow.
Stranger things have happened.
Go home Winslow, go home.
And goodnight Mrs.
Cobblepot, wherever you are.
(door shuts)
(upbeat music)
(screaming and struggling)
- Oh it is you.
Sorry about that Mr. Cobblepot.
I thought you were somebody else.
- Who are you looking for?
- A little girl.
- Little girl?
- Yeah.
- Do you often use
choke-holds on little girls?
- It seems to work when you're babysittin.
- Look you idiot.
I never want you using a
choke-hold on a little girl
or anybody else for that matter.
- What about a lawyer sir?
- Lawyer, okay.
- I think we're on to somethin'
- Yeah sure.
You stop that!
Now look, all I wanna do is
I wanna get on this elevator.
I wanna go home and rest, okay?
- Okay sir, but the elevator
isn't working right.
- What happened?
- I don't know, they seem to
be stopping on all the floors.
Some little kids pushing all the buttons.
- Little kids?
Is that why you're sneaking
around here acting goofy?
- It's my job to protect this building.
- Against little kids?
- Especially little kids.
Well I'm goin' up to the upper
floors to check them out sir.
Have a nice night.
- Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
(high-pitch laughter)
- Well, there it is.
- There what is?
- The building.
- What building.
- The building that we is gonna rob.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah sure, sure.
(intense music)
where is it?
- Hey, hey, pretty boy.
- Oh yeah.
That's a pretty nice lookin' building.
You know it reminds me of
that place on 33rd Street.
You remember that Ike's back in New York?
Both buildings had very
similar agriculture.
- Hey listen, did your parents
have any children that lived?
- Come on god, give me a break will ya?
Just wanna get down in
the elevator and go home.
Please.
(dramatic music)
(screams)
- Just what do you think
you're doing jumping
out at me like that?
God you could give someone a heart attack.
I cannot believe they
pay you for what you do.
Is this your idea of
guarding the building?
What is the matter with you?
- Sorry mam.
- Madame Zora, don't you forget it.
What is it?
- Yes Missus, Madame Zora!
- That's better.
Now get out of my way, I
have to catch the elevator.
- Elevator's broken.
- Well why don't you
call the maintenance man
up here to fix it?
Where is that no-good loafer anyway?
(mumbles and laughter)
- Look, look (cackles)
excitement, oh boy.
- Elliot,
- Oh Mr. Grabit hi.
- It's Cobblepot.
- That's what I just said.
The coffee pot.
- Yes, never mind.
Look, Elliot, I think
you better have a look
at this elevator.
(sighs)
what are you doing?
- Looking at the elevator,
like you told me.
- I didn't mean look at the elevator.
I mean, fix the elevator.
- What's wrong with it?
- It's broken.
- Broken how?
- Well it's broken see,
it doesn't work right.
It stops at every floor.
- But it's supposed to, it's an elevator.
- No, see I know that.
But it stops at every floor all floors.
- Well all elevators do.
If they're not working,
then they don't, right?
- You're not gonna give
me a break are you god?
- Who are you talking to Mr. Cobblepot?
- Just the ghosts.
- Ghosts?
- Look, never mind.
Will you just fix the elevator?
(sighs)
what are you doing?
- Eating my lunch.
- Eating your lunch?
- Yeah.
Union rules.
- Look, would you just fix the elevator.
Please fix the elevator!
- Alright, alright.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Alright, it's okay.
Even photographers are high-strung.
- Yes, yes I know, I'm sorry.
- Yeah (sighs).
(dramatic music)
(door screeches)
(high-pitch laughter)
- You shut up, shut up.
I'm trying to think how we
is gonna get into that place.
- Well, why don't we just
walk in the front door.
- And I suppose the like
security guard is gonna like
open up all the offices and
let us into all the wall safes.
- Well, I don't know about that
but I mean you have to
think about people out here.
They're very laid-back.
Maybe if we go up to him nicely,
explain what we do, he
might do that for us.
I mean how are we gonna
know if we don't try?
- Pickle head, listen to me.
All this yammerin' is like
givin' me a brain tumor.
I mean right here, you know?
I'm losing frontal lobes right here.
- You should really get that checked.
I mean a brain tumor that's
nothing to sneeze at.
You could end up like Uncle Vito,
standin' out there in park
with his underwear on his head.
That could be you.
- You know, I'm gonna hit
you so hard your whole family
is gonna die okay?
- Violent mood swings.
I'm beginning to worry about you then.
Besides, if my whole family died,
wouldn't you die too,
since you're my brother?
- I'm adopted okay?
- Really?
- Listen look, okay.
I got a little quiz for you okay?
- Alright.
- Little little quiz just
like uh, you know, like on TV.
Okay, what is in my hand?
- Oh Vinny, you poor sap.
You're farther gone than I thought.
That's a glove.
- Yeah, it's a glove.
Here, shut up!
I swear I'm gonna take you,
I'm gonna put you in the trunk.
Then I'm gonna drive
it off the pier, okay?
- Now Vinny, I really don't
think that's a very good idea.
All that salt water would
be murder on the paint job.
And as you know, Uncle
Franky painted this car
himself, by hand.
And I know, you don't
want Franky mad at you.
No sir.
Of course he might not
get so mad if Aunt Sylvia
was locked in the trunk with me.
- Would you shut up and
get out of the car yous?
- Well where are we going?
- We're going to your funeral.
- Wow.
Do you think Gina Belafacci will show?
I'd love to see her again.
- Just shut up okay?
Now put your cap on okay?
Your bald spot is giving me like,
you're blinding me okay?
Now just get out of the car okay?
(dramatic music)
alright, here.
Get the tools.
- Why is the car broke?
- Yeah, you know, the car is broken.
- Oh great, what do we do now?
- Tell you what, why don't
you get in there and look,
to check out the car okay?
- Alright Vinny.
- Alright, what do ya see in there?
- I can't see much, it's pretty dark.
- Well let me help you
cast some illumination
on the whole scene okay?
(metal clanging)
okay, now do you see some stars?
- I see stars Vinny.
- You see the stars?
- I see big birds.
- Big birds.
Bonnie.
- And Robert De Niro.
- Yeah, he's Italian.
- And John Travolta.
- He's also Italian.
Hey Saturday Night Fever you know dancin?
- Not bad.
- That' good okay okay now shut up.
Alright, alright, give me the tools.
Okay now, it's pretty
dark in there you know?
- Yeah.
- There's probly not
too many people around.
Maybe like a security guard,
maybe even a cleaning lady.
- Cleaning lady?
- Yeah.
- You think she's gotta
do all these windows?
Remember Aunt Gladys she
had that cleaning lady.
She didn't do windows, what is that?
You clean or you do not clean.
Don't give me this I don't do windows.
Uncle Joe had to climb out there
and scrub the windows of the whole house.
I don't even know why they hired her.
- Hey Rocco.
- Yeah?
- You wanna see some more stars?
- Yeah.
Like maybe Clint Eastwood.
Or how about that chick
who played Catwoman
in the Batman movie?
I'm talkin' the movie
now, not the TV show.
The lady who played her in the TV show,
she's probly like 114 by now.
At this point in my life I
don't need a relationship
with an older woman.
- Hey snapper head, get over there!
(metal clanging)
alright alright, how you
doin' there, lookin' good.
Okay take this.
Put that somewhere.
You know this looks like
a job for Mr. Crowbar.
- Who's Mr. Crowbar?
Is that friend of Cousin Mikey's?
Is he here?
- Shut up snapper head you.
Alright, just don't stand there.
Give me a hand okay?
(clapping)
you know I knew you was gonna do that.
(dramatic music)
- Finally!
(rock music)
- Oh thank god okay.
No!
Help!
No, no.
- Oh jeeze, you think anybody heard us?
- Nah nobody heard us.
- Why did you slam the door?
I didn't slam the door.
- Who slammed the door then?
- Maybe it was the wind?
- The wind?
- Yeah.
- You know Rocco, I should have
taken Uncle Petey's advice.
Taken you to that
alligator farm and like tie
a bunch of chicken to your
body and leave you there.
- You know I don't think
that would've worked Vinny.
I don't that alligators eat chicken.
They have more a steak
and potatoes kind of diet.
Of course in this part of
the country I could be wrong.
Everybody's into that fat free.
They eat chicken all the time.
Of course it's gotta be skinless.
- You through?
- Yeah.
- Good, get over there!
- Elliot!
Elliot!
Elliot!
Cheese and pimento.
Elliot!
Elliot!
(dramatic music)
- Ugh, cheese and pimento!
(high-pitch laughter)
who is that?
Who's there?
Don't you come near me!
I have pepper spray and
I just took a course
on how to use it.
(high-pitch laughter)
(sighs)
(screams)
- Is that you Charlie?
I guess you're not are ya?
- No I'm not.
Listen, what are you doin' up here?
- Security, what are you doin' up here?
- I'm just workin' on the elevator.
I was stuck there for
about a half an hour.
- Yeah and what were you
doin' on the elevator?
- Tryin' to fix it.
- You didn't happen to see
any kids in there did ya?
- Kids?
- Yeah, especially little green ones.
(chuckles)
- Little green kids?
- Yeah.
- What have you been drinking?
Whatever it is, save me some.
- Seriously and on the 6th floor.
I saw it flying through the air.
- Little green kids?
- I saw it, it was laughing too.
- You mean that it had a high-pitch,
like a little kid voice?
- Yeah.
- You know what?
I've heard that on the elevator.
- I told you I saw it.
Listen, you don't think it
could be some little green men
that came from another planet?
- Little green men?
- Yeah.
- You mean like aliens?
- Yeah, come to think of it
I saw a movie some time ago.
- Yeah?
- It was about these three
aliens that came to this planet.
And they these beams and
they got in a cemetery
and brought these dead
bodies back to life.
- Dead bodies?
- Yeah, dead bodies.
And the worst part of
it, there was a fellah,
strong man, bullheaded and he's
walking through the cemetery
sequence, big fellah like
this you know what I mean?
Didn't say a word at all,
he looked straight ahead.
Straight ahead and then, next thing,
he had this lovely little
slick chick with him.
Oh what a body she had, black dress.
- Woman in a black dress huh?
- Yeah.
- That's my kind of aliens.
- Yeah, do you know that was
shot right here in Hollywood?
- No kidding?
- Yeah, it was called Flying
Saucers over Hollywood.
(high-pitch laughter)
- let's get out of here man!
- Wait for me, wait for me.
(screaming)
(door slams)
- Think the police can get
me out of the building.
Nine one one.
Oh, the old nine-one-one
is busy (chuckles).
Huh?
Oh what's, first the
windows, then the doors,
then the phone, now the lights.
What could possibly happen next?
(high-pitch laughter)
(intense music)
Wait a minute?
What are you doing here?
No no, don't don't!
Hey now, you put that down.
Put those scissors down.
Why I oughta!
You leave that alone now
don't you, don't you.
Don't touch that, please don't cut that.
(high-pitch laughter)
(groans)
no, no please, I.
I don't know who you are
you little whipper-snapper
but you're gonna get it.
No, no please.
No no, don't turn on the light.
Please don't turn on the lights!
You little monster.
(high-pitch laughter)
Hey!
I'm locked in a, help!
Somebody help me please.
- Whoever invented heels anyway?
(heels clacking)
(mumbling)
Oh no, what is going on?
That does it.
From now on I am working from home.
(high-pitch laughter)
who is that?
Hello?
Who's up there?
(dramatic music)
(screams)
(high-pitch laughter)
Please, leave me alone.
(dramatic music)
- [Cobblepot] Help?
- Hello?
Is anybody there?
- I'm here!
I'm in here!
- Where are you?
- I'm down the hall on
the last door on the left,
on the right.
- Hello?
- Hello, look look.
The door is stuck.
Can you try and unstick from your side?
- No, it's stuck out here too.
What am I supposed to do?
- I don't know, you could go for help?
- No, I tried all the doors downstairs.
They don't work either!
And there's this thing out here.
- Thing?
Is it small and green?
- Yeah, what the heck is it?
- I don't know.
It looks like a baby ghost.
- What?
- A baby ghost!
- A baby ghost, that's impossible.
- Well what do you think it is?
- Uh no, it's coming.
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah I'm fine.
What if that thing gets in here?
- Don't worry about it, I'll protect us.
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna open the door.
I'm gonna whack the little
whipper-snapper with this.
And then will escape on the stairs.
You ready?
Well, it looks like we'll
have to stay here a while.
- I'm gonna listen to some
guy who's wearing a bowtie?
- Oh boy, you're pretty tough for a lady
who just looks like she fell
off the back of a gypsy caravan
- Hey, I'll have you know these
clothes are very important
to my work.
- This is gonna be good.
Just what kind of work is it that you do?
- Tarot cards, yeah I read tarot cards.
- Tarot cards?
- Yeah.
- Oh, well, that's different.
- What do you mean?
- Well I mean I believe in tarot cards.
As a matter of fact, I just had mine read
just a few minutes ago.
- That's really strange
'cause I just did a reading
a few minutes ago.
- Oh really?
That is, well what?
- This guy right, he calls
me like ten times a day,
total idiot, always you know
wantin to get his cards read.
Total loser.
I mean he's probly a shoe
salesman or a baby photographer
or something like that.
- I'm a baby photographer (laughs)
- Wait a minute.
You kind of sound familiar to me.
- You sound a little familiar to me.
- Oh my god, it can't be.
- Madame Zora!
- Winslow Copperpot?
- My goodness this is amazing.
What are you doing here?
- I work here up on the 9th floor.
- Well, wait a minute.
I call the Master of Light
Institute Psychic Hotline,
I mean.
- Oh, it's a switchboard
in Tupelo, Mississippi.
They route all the calls to
us from all over the country.
- Tupelo, Mississippi?
Well, you mean I've been
talking to you all this time
and you're just three floors above me?
- God, this is incredible.
I mean we've had, I mean oh my god.
- What?
- Oh my god, oh my god,
I gotta get out of here.
Wait a minute, it's
okay see, all this time
I've been wondering what you look like
and now here you are in my studio!
- Wait a minute, your studio?
- Yeah.
- Im trapped in your studio?
- Yeah.
- Oh my god, I gotta get outta here.
- Good luck!
- Oh god!
- Why why what's the problem?
- This morning, don't you remember?
Your reading, my cards
said the same thing.
- Oh my god.
- we're doomed!
- No, no, no look.
I can get us out of here.
I'm sure of it.
It's that that, whatever it is,
wants to keep us in here for some reason.
(slow music)
- Why?
I never did anything to it.
- Well I don't know I mean,
well you're the one that sees
all this weird psychic stuff.
- No I'm not.
I learned how to read tarot cards
from the mail-order catalog.
I don't even believe in demons
and ghosts and all that stuff
- But, what do you mean, you're a phony?
- Well, yeah.
- Well isn't this just great?
I mean, you ought to see
my phone bill last month.
Three 99 a minute, it
adds up pretty quick.
- Hey I'm sorry.
Besides everyone knows that
all that stuff is just fake.
- Hey, you advertise on TV.
And what about the Master of Light, huh?
What about Father Denalgo?
- He's an ex auto mechanic from Detroit.
He formed the institute when
he found out how much money
those 900 phone lines make.
- Not only am I a lowly baby photographer,
but I'm trapped in this
building by a ghost with a woman
who I trusted but now
I find out is a phony.
A fake!
A charlatan!
A no-good,
- Hey alright, okay, I'm sorry you know?
I just wasn't good at
anything else, alright?
I got kicked out of cosmetology school.
So, I became a telephone psychic.
- I get your point.
Well I'm sorry, I was
a little rough on ya.
Let's forget about everything
that happened before
and hey, we'll just
start out as friends huh?
Huh?
Oh come on!
- Alright, just until we get out of here.
- Well, now to get out of here.
- But what about that thing out there.
- Look, if it's a ghost
or if it's an alien.
(high-pitch laughter)
- There's no such thing.
- Fine, then what is that thing out there?
- Okay, alright, let's say okay, a ghost.
Alright, let's say, let's
say that it's a ghost.
- Just to call it something.
- Yeah.
- Okay, fine, fine.
- A ghost right?
My spirit guide.
Stupid ghost.
- Spirit guide book.
- Ghost right?
Here we go, ghosts are the
spirits of well dead things.
- Dead things?
- Yeah, it's when a
spirit decides not to go
into the afterlife.
It stays around the place where it died
and haunts it until,
- Well until what?
- Oh I'm sorry, until
it decides to go away
or it drives away the people
who are living in its hot zone.
- This building, this must be a hot zone.
- Okay, okay.
The ghost cannot leave until
it's either banished or,
- Or what?
- Someone is forced to take
it out of the boundary?
- Yeah well, as far as I'm
concerned it can go any place
it wants, but what I don't
understand is why it wants
to play it's own practical jokes on us.
- Maybe some ghosts are mischievous.
I mean it looked kind of small to me.
Maybe it's like a little kid or a baby.
- Well why don't we just
call the Ghostbusters.
- Maybe we could.
You know there are people, I've seen it.
There are people that
exercise spirits for a living.
- Like Jane Fonda?
- No, no, no like the Max
Von Sydow in The Exorcist.
- Oh, oh Lynda Blair.
It's not gonna start
spittin' up all that green.
- No Winslow, it's not like that.
Okay, umm spiritual exorcist.
Find out what the spirits
want and advise them to go on
into the beyond.
- Who ya gonna call?
- Ghostbusters!
Look, 24-hour spiritual hotline.
(slow music)
- What is it?
- This line is dead?
- Dead things.
Look, look, all I know is that
we have to get out of here.
Aren't there other people in the building?
I mean maybe somebody else can help us.
- The only ones I know of are
the security guard and Elliot.
- Oh great, two of the three stooges.
- Hey you know, I wonder if
they've seen the little guy yet?
(laughter)
(high-pitch laughter)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
- Hey hey hey get off my head you stupid.
I cannot believe this.
Get down off of there.
- Alright I'm comin', I'm comin.
Quit botherin' me I can't see.
- It's kind of silly to
like you know rob a building
during the daylight okay you know?
Get the dust off you.
- Okay!
(high-pitch laughter)
- Close the door!
Is that thing behind us?
- I don't think so man,
I think we lost him.
- I don't know what that things was
but it sure didn't look
like a space alien.
- You don't think it
could be a ghost do you?
- Man I don't believe in ghosts.
- You're right man, had to be an alien.
Had to be an alien.
- Yeah, what can we do?
- I don't know.
If it is an alien, it has to
have a reason for being here.
- What reason?
- Maybe it's an advance scout
waiting to report back to his planet.
- Why?
- An invasion!
- Yeah, an invasion.
You think they'll come
down here on this planet
and make slaves out of us so
they can do their evil doings?
- What other reason could there be?
- We cannot let that happen.
We have to do something
to save this earth.
- It's time we stop running
scared and do something.
- You and me?
- That's right, it's up
to us to save humanity.
(high-pitch laughter)
(screaming)
- So how'd you get the name Madame Zora?
Is that some kind of royalty or something?
- No, I just made it
up you know to go along
with that whole ooo
psychic thing you know?
It's a lot better than my real name.
- Well, what's your real name?
- Never mind, no, no.
- No really, what's your real name?
- Alright, you promise you won't laugh.
- Of course I won't laugh.
- Okay, it's Mildred Kirbopple.
- Hahahah!
- Hey you promised you wouldn't laugh!
What is this?
- Mildred Kirbopple (laughs)
- Let me ask you something.
What kind of a name is
Winslow Cobblepot anyway?
What is that?
- What's wrong with Cobblepot?
It's a good name!
- Yeah it's great if you happen
to be a cartoon character.
- Yeah well your name sounds
like that wrastling champion
from the mid-60s (groans)
- I'll have you know, my
mother was national champion
wrestler for six consecutive years.
Say uncle.
- Uncle.
(door pounding)
Wait a minute, I heard something.
Time out!
I think the door opened.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- Careful.
- I'll be careful.
- Is it out there?
- I don't see it.
- Wait so why do I have to go first?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Winslow!
Come on come on.
Would you stop doing that?
- Looks pretty clear to me.
- Okay, okay.
What is that?
Did the police do that?
- No that thing must have done it.
The police aren't nearly that neat.
- What it has a sweet tooth?
- Come on.
- No I, do you think it's okay?
- It's okay, just stay
with me Miss Crabapple.
- It's Kirbopple.
- Oh yeah, right.
- Come on dagnabbit.
All these doors are locked.
- Of course they're locked.
Why do you think we brought the tire iron?
- In case we have to fix a flat?
- You know I'm going to
fix the flat in your head
if you don't shut up.
You know here we'll try that one.
- No kind of luck.
- Hey, that one over there is ajar.
- Oh, nasty brain tumor.
No Vinny, that one is a door.
You see if it was a jar,
it would be small and glass
and filled up with some
sort of jam and jelly.
- You mean like your head?
Shut up already I mean,
all your inane babbling
is kind of like making me crazy.
- You know Vinny I think
you should give up coffee.
I think all that caffeine
is having a bad effect
on your tumor.
- No you're having a
bad effect on my tumor.
I ain't got no tumor, just
shut up you snapper head you.
Get up, I cannot take you nowhere.
Shut up!
I swear, next time when
I go rob some place,
I'm gonna take Cousin Swashy, okay?
He knows how to be quiet
because he's got no tongue.
Ah this one.
(dramatic music)
(high-pitch laughter)
(grunting)
- You alright?
What is it?
Speak to me?
Where did that come from?
What happened, what's goin' on?
- Was you hittin' this?
- No, no,
- When this was on my
head was you hittin' this?
- I was pullin' it off ya.
- You was pullin' off me?
- I cannot imagine where it came from.
- Now look in there, look inside there.
You see inside there?
Hey, hey, hey don't hit nobody in the head
with no bucket okay?
I swear, take that off your head.
Okay, okay, we're okay.
You okay?
- I see little birdies.
- Little birdies yeah I see 'em too.
(dramatic music)
hey hey come on, wake up, wake up.
- What happened?
- Alright.
- What happened?
- Hey somebody is trying
to make chumps out of us.
With you, they succeeded.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute, who could have done this?
- I don't know but I aim to find out.
- Okay.
- Come on let's go.
You go first, I don't want more
buckets falling on my head.
- Don't rush me.
(dramatic music)
(whispering)
- Winslow, you have to stop doing that!
- Sorry.
- You're scaring me to death.
All the exits are blocked.
- It's alright.
I'll find a way out.
- Yeah right.
There's water all around.
Where is it from?
- I don't know.
- Don't like it down here.
- I don't either.
- Over there!
What is that?
- What's this old box?
- Be careful, you don't know what it is.
- Stop that!
This chain here must
have held it together.
I'm sorry.
- Do you always have to drop everything?
Oh my gosh, these symbols.
They belong to the occult.
- What do you mean?
- You broke my fingernail!
- Sorry!
- Yes they're symbols of
the occult of all sorts.
I mean these seem to be ancient.
Like in the middle ages!
- Wow, what's it doing here?
- Look at this.
Don't drop it.
- I'm not going to drop it.
Just let me have it.
I didn't drop it.
- Set it down, set the box down.
To he who comes in contact
with the spirit of the box.
Let it be known that it
be the soul of a child
struck down in the year of our lord 1635.
- 1635?
- Yeah, in the providence of our camp
in the state of Massachusetts.
- Are you making this up?
- Would you stop it?
Stay over there.
Don't touch me.
Also, let it be known that the spirit,
- Well what?
- I was doing that earlier.
- You're doing it again (laughter).
Read the note.
The spirit is full of
mischief and tomfoolery
should be held here in this
mystical containment box
for all eternity.
Let it be know that great
havoc and suffering will come
if this baby spirit should
be let loose among thee.
- Well, what did you?
I mean well what's it doing here?
- I mean whoever built this building okay?
They must have unearthed this box somehow
and I don't know someone
found it and put it
in this storage space.
- 300 years ago?
- Well it looks like it's
been here for quite a while.
- That's amazing that the
symbols were what kept
the baby ghost inside.
What?
- The box has been opened.
- Yes I can see that.
Okay, okay the ghost is loose so.
- Yes.
- So then, we have got to
try to get it back inside.
(dramatic music)
- Easier said than done okay?
You've seen that thing out
there it's like a ghost.
How do you put a ghost back in a box?
- I don't know but we have to try.
Wait a minute.
Maybe, maybe we can trick
it back into the box.
What do you say?
It's our only chance.
You got a better idea?
Alright then.
- Alright well, we'll try.
- Get the box.
- Say, if we caught one of those,
actually if we could capture
one of those little space aliens,
you think that would
stop the invasion forces
from coming in?
- Yeah, you know once the
space creatures find out
how tough us terrans
are, they'll think twice
about invading us.
- Those terrans?
Yeah that's what all the
aliens call the surface?
- Yeah but listen, how did you know that?
- I saw it on TV.
Now that's how the
government's getting this,
from the shows like Star Trek.
And the make the movies like
the one you were telling me.
- Yeah, yeah.
- But they won't let the
rest of the population know
because it would cause a worldwide panic.
- Listen, I was just thinking,
if we find one of these aliens,
what do you think we'll
be able to do with them,
turn them over to the government?
- No way.
They'd just take them away,
we'd never hear from them again.
Now, we'll take them to the newspapers.
That way they can't deny it
and the rest of the world
know, we're not alone.
- You think we can make
some money out of this?
- Money?
Come on, we're doing
this to save humanity.
- Humanity?
But we need to make some
money for our troubles.
- Yeah I think we might.
Yeah, yeah.
- Buckets, buckets.
No money, open offices, nothing.
You know this place bites,
let's get out of here.
- Hey, shh, we haven't
even stolen nothin' yet.
- Okay fine.
Here, we'll take this tree okay?
You happy, can we go now?
- What are we gonna do with the tree?
You're a moron.
- Hey I ain't no moron.
I just don't like this place.
It's weird.
- Hey, you're weird.
(high-pitch laughter)
- What the hell was that?
Let's get out of here.
- Hey, hey, hey get off of me!
Nothin doin, we aint goin' nowhere
until we find who's doin' all this.
I'm gonna take care of
him, the New York way.
- Oh yeah, the New York Way.
We're gonna be rude and obnoxious to him.
- Get outta here!
I swear.
(dramatic music)
- Winslow, do you really think
this plan is going to work?
- Of course it's going to work.
See we already know the uh,
well whatever it is, we
know that he likes donuts.
So, he'll unsuspectingly
eat the trail of donuts
until he hits the box
and then (clap crash),
we got him!
(giggles)
What what's the matter?
- It's just, I just hope
that this baby ghost
is really stupid.
- Let's try one of your ideas.
(high-pitch laughter)
- I don't have any ideas.
- Oh you don't have any ideas?
- No.
- Well then perhaps you might
like to help me with mine?
- Okay.
Oh my gosh, do you think that's him?
- I just,
(dramatic music)
(high-pitch laughter)
- He's coming, I can't breath.
(dramatic music)
- He's taking the bait!
- I know.
I can't believe it.
This stupid plan might work.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- He's getting closer!
- Gotcha, ya space-suckin' alien!
- Yeah, we're gonna capture you!
- Elliot no!
- And we're gonna make
money, lots of money!
And you ain't gonna be
able to conquer this earth.
(laughter and screaming)
- Elliot!
- I knew this stupid plan
of yours wouldn't work.
- Elliot, you two.
You two are even more stupid
than I thought you were.
- The baby ghost got away.
- Hi, Mr. Cobblepot.
Long time huh?
- Your still here with us.
- I am trying to catch the little ghost.
What is it that you two are trying to do?
- We're trying to save humanity.
- And make some money.
- Ahh, make some money and save humanity?
You two really screwed it up good!
- What do you mean?
- What I mean is if we don't
catch the little ghost,
we don't get out of the
building, do you see?
And if we don't get out of the building,
then we can't save humanity can we?
And we can't make any
money can we (laughter)?
- Baby ghost?
And there's no alien that's
supposed to conquer the earth?
(laughter)
- No, not aliens.
Now look, if you two
would really like to help,
perhaps maybe you could,
well get up off the ground
and try to find the
little creature for us eh?
- Yeah.
Help me.
(slow music)
- Hey, skulk.
Hey, hey, hey Rocco, what's that?
- What?
- That.
- I don't know but it looks like donuts.
- Donuts?
- Yeah.
- Who would put donuts all over the floor?
- I don't know.
Remember Uncle Squashy?
He use to take carrots
and cram 'em in his ear.
- Hey, hey shut up about
Uncle Squashy alright?
Come on, come on let's just go.
Skulk.
(high-pitch laughter)
- What is that?
- I don't know man.
It looks like Cousin Petey.
- But Cousin Petey wasn't like green.
(mumbles)
- What should we do?
- Get the heck out of here.
(screaming)
(high-pitch laughter)
- I still don't get it.
- You see, we lure the ghost down here
and then while one of us distracts it,
the other one snaps the box shut, huh?
(laughter)
- How are you gonna fool it?
- What, just because it was
wise to the donut trick?
- Right.
(laughter)
- I have something that
no kid, that no human,
no ghost no spirit on the
entire planet earth can resist.
Tudah!
- Video game, uh huh!
- I tell ya.
When that little ghost sees this,
well he'll go for it like
a pack of ants at a picnic.
(laughter)
- Winslow?
That ghost has been in the
box what, about 300 years?
- Yeah about 300 years.
- Well, he's not gonna know what this is.
He's not gonna know what
a video game is right?
- He will okay, don't worry.
I got five nephews, I know
what I'm talkin' about alright?
Alright come on come on, hide hide hide.
Over here, over here,
over here, hide, hide.
Hide, hide, come on, hide, hide.
- But what about the video game?
- Oh yeah!
Sorry.
Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.
- I think I heard something.
- It sounded kind of human, sort of.
- There's only one thing
I know of that makes
that kind of noise.
- Yeah, a New York thug.
(screaming)
- Who were those guys?
(dramatic music)
(video game beeps)
- Okay now, you go up and slam the box.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(mumbles)
very, be quiet.
Let's go.
(high-pitch laughter)
(screaming)
- Hey, that's my video game!
- You did it!
You did it!
(laughter)
- Of course I did.
If you want something done
right, get a woman to do it.
- Oh well (laughs).
- My game, it's broken.
- So this is how you treat
other people's property?
I demand that you replace it.
- What are you doing here Mrs. Rodman.
- Timmy left his video game here yesterday
and I came back to get it
but the building was closed.
So I figured we'd come by
first thing in the morning
but apparently you've been so
busy doing heaven knows what,
you can't take care of my son's things.
- Well, Mrs. Rodman, I
think I speak for all of us
when I say that we're gonna get together
and we're gonna buy little
Timmy here a new video game.
And also I think I speak
for all of us when I say,
Mrs. Rodman, shut your big mouth!
(laughter)
- Come on kids!
Well, have a good night.
Hey, hey, my check!
(screaming)
- Oh my gosh.
- Door open, daylight.
- It's been a long night.
- Oh my god.
(laughter)
- We're free.
No, we hid that so well,
I don't think anyone's
gonna find it for the next 300 years.
- Oh what about Elliot
and that security guard?
- Oh my gosh they were
like rambling on and on
about like getting rich going
to the National Enquirer
and selling the story.
- Well I don't even think
the National Enquirer
is gonna buy that story.
- I don't think so.
(laughter)
- Um, so what are you gonna do now?
- I'm gonna go home and
I'm gonna go to sleep
for about a week.
- Well, after you wake up, do you think
we could get together?
- You mean like a date?
- Well, yeah.
We'll go to wrestling match.
(laughter)
- A wrestling match?
- Yeah.
- Well I usually make it a
policy never to date my clients
but in this case I guess
I could make an exception.
One thing though.
- What's that?
- Lose that bowtie.
- This bowtie?
Why this bowtie has been in
my family over 125 years.
- You remember that guy
we ran by in the hallway?
- Yeah?
- I followed him down into
the basement and I found this.
- Ohhhh.
- It's nice huh?
- It's beautiful.
Hey, hey what do you
think is inside of that?
- I don't know I can't open it.
It's got a lock.
- That's one of them combination locks.
- Yeah and I ain't got no combination.
- Yeah, hey try anything.
- Alright.
- Yeah, I'll start the car.
- You got any ideas?
- Yeah, you remember cousin Elvira?
- Yeah.
- Hey hey that's right.
Why don't you try her measurements?
(laughter)
36-24-58.
(laughter)
(upbeat music)