Baby Boom (1987) - full transcript

53 percent of the American
workforce is female,

three generations of women
that turned 1,000 years
of tradition on its ear.

As little girls,
they were told to grow up

and marry doctors
and lawyers.

Instead they grew up
and became doctors
and lawyers.

They moved out
of the pink ghetto

and into
the executive suite.

Sociologists say
the new working woman

is a phenomenon
of our time.

Take J.C. Wiatt,
for example.

Graduated first
in her class at Yale,



got her MBA at Harvard,

has a corner office
at the corner of
58th and Park.

She works 5:00 to 9:00,
she makes six figures a year,

and they call her
"The Tiger Lady."

Married to her job,

she lives with
an investment banker
married to his.

They collect African art,
co-own their co-op,

and have separate
but equal IRA accounts.

One would take it
for granted that a woman
like this has it all.

One must never take
anything for granted.

No, no, no, no, no.
You don't get it.

Atlantic Overseas
isn't just having
a slow quarter.

The way they're going,
they may not be flying
to Newark in six months.

Don't you think...
Ken. Ken.



A company can't lose
$25 million a quarter

and expect
to stay in business.

They've got to streamline
their organization,
reduce headquarters' staff,

get rid of operating
bottlenecks,

and then we'll
be able to focus
on the real soft spot.

What?
Well, you're good.

Oh.
I see you're just
realizing this?

Robin, I need
the flash report
in time for my meeting.

Got it.
Good.

I also need
the latest info
on the IBC merger.

Right.
What's going on?

Oh, Steven just called.
He wants to know if 9:00
is okay for dinner.

Oh.
Melnicker called twice,
he said it was urgent.

And I need you
to sign these.

Legal's been screaming
for them.

Okay, now, Sheldrick
moved up the deadline
on Consolidated,

so don't make any plans
for the weekend.

This weekend?

Is there a problem?

No, it's just that
I have tickets
to the ballet

that I've waited
six months...

No problem.

All right. Tell Steven
9:00 is fine for dinner

and see if you can
get us into Jams.

And if they don't
have a good table,

try and get
something else.

Ken, I need the PNLs
on Atlantic Overseas.
Right.

I also need the latest
ZBBs AND PBBs.

And, Robin,
I want you to get me
the CEO of IBC ASAP.

Excuse me,
Miss Wiatt.
Uh-huh?

Mr. Curtis wants
to know if you're free
for dinner tonight.

Absolutely.
Cancel Steven.

And good morning
to you, too, Miss Wiatt.

Okay, the Montana lamb
with roquette-leaf
and goat-cheese salad,

and the lime-grilled
free-range chicken

with the pumpkin pasta
and dandelion greens.

Looks fabulous.

Enjoy.
Thanks.

I'm Phillip
if you need me.

Thank you.

Tell me,
what do you know
about Hughes Larrabee?

He's the CEO
of The Food Chain.

He used to be
the CEO of Avon.

He's a killer.
Real smart, no bullshit.

I never met him. Why?

He called.
They wanna talk.
Mmm-hmm.

I thought they were
with Mackenzie.

Well, apparently
they're shopping around.

I set up a lunch
for you at The Pierre.

Oh, I would love
to steal an account
from Mackenzie.

I would just love it.

J.C.
Mmm-hmm.

You know I think
you're enormously
talented.

Fritz, are you
leaving the company
or something?

No.
Am I leaving
the company?

Christ,
let me get it out.
No? Sorry.

No.

I want you to become
a partner.

Oh.

Oh, well.

I accept. This is...
This is great, Fritz.

This is very exciting. Wow.

Of course
I have to discuss it
with Everett,

but I'll do that
on the plane tomorrow.

I hope he remembers me.
Because, you know,
I only met him a few times.

You reel in The Food Chain,
he'll remember you,
I promise you.

Well.

J.C., let me ask you
something.

How many hours a week
do you work now?

I don't know.
What, 70, 80?

Well, realize as a partner,
the hours are only
gonna get worse.

I never complain about
these things, Fritz.
Yeah, I know.

You know me.
I like work.
I know.

Yeah, I know.
I know. Okay.
You know that I...

Just let me get this
off my chest, okay?

Sure.

Now...

What's that knocking?

Well, never mind. Look,
you know that normally

I don't think of you
as a woman,

but in this case,

I do have to
look at you as
a woman/partner.

I mean...

What if you and Steven
decide to get married
somewhere down the line?

I mean,
what if he expects a wife?

Fritz, first of all,
may I?
Mmm.

Steven and I are not
getting married.

And secondly,
you know how we are.

We both eat, sleep
and dream our work.

That's why we're together.

Fritz, I understand
what it takes to make it.

But do you understand
the sacrifices you're
gonna have to make?

I mean, a man can
be a success

and still have
a personal life.
A full personal life.

My wife is there for me
whenever I need her.

I mean, she raises the kids,
she decorates, she...

Well, I don't know
what the hell she does,

but she takes
care of things.

I guess

what I'm saying
is I'm lucky.

I can have it all.

Is that what
you're worried about?

Forget it.

I don't want it all.

I don't.

How would you
like an Akita as
a partnership present?

J.C.: A dog?

Yeah, I thought
you loved them.

Oh, I love
looking at them,
but owning one?

You'd have to feed it
and walk it,

we'd have
hair everywhere.

What if it died?

Jeez, it was
just a thought.

Oh, it's a lovely thought.
It's not that.

It's just a...
Oh, you know me.

I'm not really great
with living things.

I think you are.

Do you wanna make love?

Please. Really.

All right.
It's coming off
right now.

Oh, dear.

Oh. Oh, Steven.
Mmm.

Did you see
this house?
No.

Listen to this.

"62-acre Vermont estate."

STEVEN: Mmm.

"Fruit orchard,
swimming pond,

"360 degree view
of the mountains."

This is so great.

Why do you keep
saving those things?

Why? A lot of people
have vacation homes.

Yeah.
People who take vacations
have vacation homes.

Well, you never know.

I know you in Vermont
without a speakerphone
would not be a pretty sight.

Oh. That is
extremely funny.

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, God,
it even has a barn.

Do you wanna
make love?

Do you?

Oh. I guess
you do, huh?

Mmm.

Mmm.
That was incredible.

STEVEN: Hello?

One moment, please.

J.C., it's for you.

I'm in a meeting.
Take a message.

J.C., it's the telephone.
Come on.

What?

It sounds
like overseas.

Oh.

Hello?

Mmm-hmm.

Yes.

Cousin Andrew?

No, I don't have
a cousin Andrew.

Well, wait.
No, wait, wait, wait.

My mother's cousin's
daughter's son.

Yeah, you're right,
I do.

Really?

Oh.

Well, hello?
Are you there?

This is...
This is a very bad
connection.

What happened?

Oh, wow.
That's awful.

I'm sorry. I really...
I'm terribly sorry.

I still can't hear you.

What about his will?

No, no, no, no.
I heard that part.

I just didn't hear
the part... Hello?

Hello? I didn't
hear the part...
What's going on?

Well...
Oh, my goodness.

A cousin of mine died
with his wife

in some sort
of an accident.

I only met him once
when I was just
a little girl

'cause he lived
in England,
but anyway,

he left me something
because I'm his only
living relative.

This could be big.
Was he rich?

Oh, yeah, sure.
Of course he was rich.
My family?

Hello. Yes.
Yes, I'm here.

Uh-huh.
JFK tomorrow.

Mrs. Atwood.

All right.
What time?

No, wait. Wait.
Excuse me.

But I still didn't hear
what it was you said
he left me.

Hello? Yes, hello?

Can you believe this?

WOMAN ON PA: Flight 701
now arriving from London
at Gate 29.

Miss Wiatt?

Oh. Yes.
Mrs. Atwood.

Yes. British Department
of Health and Social Security.

Shall we step
over there?

Sure. Sure.

I'm sorry
about Andrew.

Oh, yes,
quite tragic.

Of course,
I didn't know
them personally.

Oh, no, I know.
Neither did I,
but it was very awful.

I mean, you know,
what happened. So...

Well, actually,
I have a lunch meeting
in 40 minutes,

so if I could just sign
for whatever it is
that I inherited.

Oh, yes. Certainly.
I just need you to
sign one thing.

Mmm-hmm. Good.
There.

So, what is it?
A million dollars?

I beg your pardon?

Oh. What is it?
I mean, what is it
that I inherited?

Why, Elizabeth,
of course.

What Elizabeth,
of course?

Your cousin Andrew's
Elizabeth.

Are you...

Are you joking?

Didn't Mrs. Simpson
tell you?

What?

What?
Wait a minute, now.

I... Are you telling me
that I inherited a baby
from a cousin

I haven't seen
since 1954?

No. N-O.
No way. Uh-uh.
This is impossible.

I'm sorry,
I assumed you understood
the nature of my trip.

Well, you see,
that's the funny thing.
I can't have a baby,

because I have
a 12:30 lunch meeting.

I'm sorry,
I have to reboard.

I'm on my way to visit
relatives in Florida.

Now, Elizabeth,
this is your aunt J.C.

The one I was
telling you about.

You're going to
live with her now,

and she is going
take care of you

and love you
very much.

Mrs. Atwood...
Here are her things.

In there.
But I can't...

And a copy
of the Wiatts' will.

And Elizabeth's passport
and her birth certificate.

Yeah, Mrs. Atwood,
I'm not the right sort
of person for this.

You're the only person,
Miss Wiatt.

She's a very
agreeable child,
you'll see.

Once you get the hang
of it, I'm sure you'll be
a wonderful mother.

Mother?

Thank you so much.

Armand. Yeah.
No, no, just get...
Yeah.

Now, look,
careful, Armand.

Her diaper's
just a little bit damp.
Oh.

Gesundheit.

What?
Would you mind?

No, I don't mind.
What? Oh.

Yeah. There.

Do you have
anything to check?
Yes.

No! No, no.
It's just for an hour.

Just, you know,
take care of her.
She's very agreeable.

Hughes. J.C. Wiatt.

Good to meet you.
Good to meet you.

I'm so sorry I'm late.
Thank you.

Would you like
something to...

Oh, I see,
you have something to drink.
Well, I think I'll join you.

Waiter,
I'd like a glass of wine,
the same as Mr. Larrabee.

So how long are you
in diapers for...
In town for?

Just a day.
I can't take too much
of a good thing.

That's very funny.

I wanted to tell you
that I was just
so knocked out

when Fritz told me
about your call.

You see, I've always
been a very huge fan
of yours...

Armand!
What is going on?

Let me handle it.
I'll find out.

Excuse me, Hughes.
Armand.

Look, miss, miss.
I'm in the middle
of a major meeting.

Could you please
keep her a little
quiet, okay?

Look, if it's so easy,
you try.

I don't know...

There.
All she wanted was
her mama.

I am not her mother,
and by the way,

she has just been through
a very traumatic experience,

so a little compassion
would not be out of line,
okay?

I will give you
a very big tip.

I'll give you
my Visa card.

Can you believe somebody
would actually bring
a baby here?

Anyway, as I was saying,

I've always been intrigued
by the managerial panache
of The Food Chain.

Tell me about you.

Me, huh? Me.

Well, I'm...
Oh, I just...

I'm assigned all our
Fortune 100 companies.

And I personally
handle IBM, Xerox,
DuPont, Polaroid...

Excuse me.

Yeah,
Texas Instruments...

Yo!
What?

Your baby has just barfed
all over my boss.

But this is not
my baby.

I... I went to
Harvard and Yale,
and I don't have children.

She just... She's...

She belongs... Look.
I'm gonna hold her
for just a minute.

But this is not
going to affect me.

Yes, I...
Who else do I handle?

I also handle
Hewlett-Packard,

Citicorp, Eastman Kodak,
they always ask for me.
They love me there.

Oh, God.

Oh. Luvs.
Here we go.

Pampers.
Huggies Supertrim.

Okay. Large, 23 pounds
and over.

Hey. Medium, 20?
Twelve.

Twelve to 24 pounds.

And newborn is
up to 14 pounds.

Okay, so,
you're not newborn,
are you?

How much do you weigh,
anyway?

Twenty-two.

Oh, 22 pounds. Okay.

Oh!

There.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.
Hi.

I need a drink.

Okay. I'm leaving you here
for a few minutes,

so I'm trusting you
not to touch anything.

Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.

J.C.?

I'm home.

Great hunting boots.
If I only hunted.

Hi!

Whoa!

What?

What is this?
A baby.

What is it
doing here?

J.C.: You know that pin
I thought I inherited
from my cousin?

Yes.

Well, it wasn't a pin.

Ah, here it is.
"We hereby request
that J.C. Wiatt

"act as guardian
to our only child,
Elizabeth Alice Wiatt."

Mmm-hmm.

"If however,
J.C. Wiatt is unable
to act as guardian,

"we leave it
to her discretion

"to find suitable
adoptive parents."

Thank God,
you have an out clause.

You do want
the out clause?

Well, of course I want
the out clause.
What do you think?

I thought I heard
your biological
clock ticking.

Oh, Steven, please!
Please.

Tomorrow I'm gonna
contact whoever it is

who finds
suitable adoptive parents,

but in the meantime,
we're just gonna make do.

Here, would you
hold her?
Oh, no, no, no.

I can't.
No, I never
held a baby.

Oh, I see.
And what, I have?

Oh, God.

Thank you very much.

Now look, there is
nothing in the world
to get uptight about.

We are two
summa cum laude.

We can handle
one little baby
for eight hours.

J.C.: Mmm! Yum!

Mmm-hmm.
Thank you very much.

STEVEN:
It's linguine time.

I think you're gonna
like this.

J.C.: Here you go.

Bon appetit!

Great idea.
Give her linguine.
Wonderful.

I think
it'd be easier
to just move.

What are you doing?

Spaghetti's dropping
from the ceiling.

"Bring diaper between
baby's legs,

"release tapes and
position over the front
of absorbent padding."

Now...

Oh.

Release the tapes.

There.

Let's see.
In front of absorbent...

This is really fabulous.

Position over front
of absorbent padding.

Okay, I've got it!

Perfect!

Ah.

That's great.

Yes, yes,
now the diaper.

Okay.

Sit.

Yes. Now there, sit.

Play with it, here,
you can play with this.

Yes. You can play
with that.

WOMAN ON TV:
Fine! You're doing
splendidly.

Speed it up a little!

MAN: A lot of 'em.

There must be
30, 40...

Twenty-six!

Twenty-six.

FEMALE TV ANNOUNCER:
Weinberger insisted he needs
everything he's asking for

to negotiate
with the Soviets.

Good opportunity to
go over the growing nature
of the Soviet threat.

The reasons why
we have to have
the kinds of totals...

Do you mind?
I'm trying...
J.C., please.

Well, I don't know
what to do.

All right,
I'll handle this.

Stop crying. Please.
I'll pay you.

Elizabeth,
now listen.

It is 11:53, and it's time
for you to go to sleep.

It's late,
we both have a lot
of work to do,

and we need
some peace and quiet.

Elizabeth, grow up.

I have to be
at a conference
in Boston tomorrow,

and I need
to concentrate, okay?

Now, I want you
to lie down,
close your eyes

and stop crying
by the time I count
to three.

Don't shake your head
"no" at me, Elizabeth,
I'm speaking to you.

Are you ready? One...

Two...

Two and a half...

Three.

It worked.

Good.

All right, now,
just kiss Uncle Steven
good night.

Ow! Jesus! What?
She bit me!

I hope this doesn't appear
like I'm a terrible person
for not keeping her.

You forgot this page.

Oh, thank you.
Thanks. Goodness.

Anyway, her parents,
I never really knew them,

and I'm not the motherly type,
I never have been.

And I didn't have
little brothers
or sisters,

so, you see,
I didn't babysit.

Plus I'm not, well,
you know, I'm not
natural with kids.

I'm a management...
I'm a management
consultant,

and I work
12 to 14 hours a day,

and I just really feel
that Elizabeth needs

a more equipped situation.

No explanations
are necessary,
Miss Wiatt.

I'm sure we'll
have no problems
placing Elizabeth.

You really shouldn't
feel guilty.

You're not the first
person to put a child
up for adoption.

Oh, I understand that,
and I'm really very
comfortable with my decision.

And it's just...

Guilt's not a part of it.

Guilt's not a word
in my vocabulary.
I mean...

Please, guilt?

Believe me, J.C.,
you made the right choice.

You're gonna be a partner,
for Christ's sake.
Uh-huh.

Your career comes first.

Look at it this way.
Yeah.

You spend a few days
with her, you got her
all these toys.

I know.

$1,700 worth
of clothes.

Come on,
that's not a bad haul
if you ask me.

I just wanna say thank you
for your support, Jesus.

Hey, no problem.
Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Put this over you
like that.

And...

Well... Gesundheit.

What? You're hot?

You're burning up.

Uh-oh.

What did I do
with that book?

Oh, no.

Sneezing. Let's see,
sneezing, sneezing.

171.

Don't get sick.
Just don't get sick.

One cold-mist
humidifier,

one electric
steam vaporizer,

one baby thermometer,
one baby Tylenol,

baby nose drops,
baby cough medicine,

and...
A bottle of valium?

Oh, yeah.
That's for me.

Oh, I...

Oh, I... All right.
I gotta take this.

I know. I know.
It's gonna be so fast.

I have to have this
before I do this.

I know, Elizabeth,
it's gonna be
such a cinch, okay?

Here we go.
Now try one more time.

Here we go.

Okay. Good.

Hello?

Oh. Oh.

Oh, uh-huh.

Yes.

Yes, that's,
that's great.
Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

10:00. Okay. All right.

We'll...
We'll be there. Right.

WOMAN: This is
Mr. And Mrs. White.

Hi.

The Whites have been
very anxious to
meet Elizabeth.

Before we take her
off your hands,

I wanna hear from
the horse's mouth

that there's no chance
of us getting a male.

WILMA: The agency
representative that came out
to our motor home

said we might have
a chance of getting a boy.

So Father here
just wants to make sure

that no stone's
been left unturned.

We did try to locate
a boy for you,

but there are
no boys available
at this time.

Well, then.
Is she all right
for you, Mother?

Yes, sir.

Now she's got
all of her shots
and everything?

WILMA:
Lord, Merle.
It's not a puppy.

I understand you bought
Elizabeth some new clothes?

Oh, yes. I just... I bought
just a couple of things.

See, she's just
getting over a cold,

so I brought
her medicine, and...

And, well, she takes
a quarter of a teaspoon
every 4 hours.

And I packed
her measuring spoon in
with her clothes and toys.

The clothes and toys
won't be necessary.

Where are you folks from?

I mean,
if I'm allowed to ask.

We'll be moving
back to Duluth next week.

Most of Merle's family
is out that way now,

and our pastor
is out there and all.

I'm sure Fern
will like it just fine.

Fern?

We're naming her
after Merle's mama.

Oh, hush, hush.
Hush, now.

Well, uh,
maybe I should...

No. I'll take care
of the formalities from
here on, Miss Wiatt.

You're free to go.

Oh, I am.

Oh, uh...

Bye-bye.

You... You take care.

Right.

Right.

Just don't expect
too much, okay?

Okay?

Okay?

I just couldn't
hand her over

to a woman who called
her husband "sir."
It gave me the chills.

Her whole life
flashed before me,
and suddenly I saw her

in frosted lipstick,
wearing a Dairy Queen
uniform.

Oh, look, J.C...
Anyway, Steven,

I can handle it.
I really can.

A lot of working women
do it.

Eleanor Roosevelt,
Jane Pauley,
Ethel Kennedy.

Ethel Kennedy?

All right, so she
doesn't work, but
a lot of people do it.

I just don't think
you know what
you're getting into.

You have no experience.

You kidding?
My mother had a doctorate
in parenting. You learn.

I'm telling you,
you should see me
diaper now.

I'm so totally
brilliant at it.

I appreciate what you're
going through, I do.

But for me, I just...

Go ahead,
you can be honest.
I just...

You what?

I just...

No?
I can't.

Okay.

MAN: My pleasure,
Mr. Sloane.

Do we have
any women partners?

Yeah. One.
In the Chicago office.

Good morning,
Mr. Sloane.
Good morning.

Oh, right, right.
The redhead.

Everett, it's down here,
the first office
on the left.

J.C.: I found it.
Here you go.
Here you go, miss.

There it is.

Oh!

Oh, hello!

Oh! Hello!

FRITZ: Everett, you remember
J.C., don't you?

Well, of course!
Everett, how do you do?

I... I thought you were
in Washington.

Well,
won't you please
come right on in?

Yes. Sit down.

Charlotte!

Everett,
why don't you sit down?

Oh, Everett, excuse me.
So, so sorry.

If you could
just scoot over.
I'm terribly sorry.

Oh!
Oh, my goodness!

I have a hair dryer
in the closet.

I'm fine, really.

Perhaps a towel.
Would a towel be good?
I'm fine. I'm fine.

Oh, very sorry
about that.

When did she
have a baby?

Oh, this isn't
J.C.'s baby,
it's her cousin's.

She's just keeping her
for a few days.

Yeah, well, Fritz,
as a matter of fact,
as it turns out,

I'm keeping her...
Excuse me.

I'm keeping her
a little longer
than that.

How much longer?

Oh, forever.

Could I interest anybody
in anything to drink,

uh, 7-UP, Perrier,
formula?

I... I hear you'd like
to be a partner.

Oh, yes.

I would...
I would love
to be a partner.

It represents
the kind of tenure
that... Pardon me.

Yes. Thank you.
I'm so sorry, Everett.

It represents
the kind of tenure
that I've always wanted.

Oh, I'm so, so sorry.

So, anyway, it does...
Would you excuse us
for one moment?

I'm very sorry.
Pardon me.

Charlotte. Charlotte.

Now, look here.

This is the single most
important moment in
my entire career.

If you don't stick this
bottle back in your mouth
this very second,

you're gonna find yourself on
the next Greyhound to Duluth!
Do you understand?

Okay, now, take it!

Okay.

Nice to see you again.

You're leaving?
Yes.

Because I wanted
to chat with you
about The Food Chain.

I know they're looking
for new entries
in the food market.

I have some
great ideas about...

Good,
I hope they buy it.

They will because
The Tiger Lady is
on the case.

Mmm-hmm.

Yes.

I'm hiring a nanny tonight.
She'll never be
in the office again.

Believe me,
nothing is going to change.
I'm totally on top of it.

I need you to come with me
to Cleveland Thursday...
You got it.

...to talk to
The Food Chain.
I'll be there. Absolutely.

I can still count on you
seven days a week,

48 hours a day?
Of course, I mean,

I'm not gonna turn
into Erma Bombeck.

I'm a maniac!
You know that.

Yeah.

Hi. I'm here
for the nanny interview.

So why don't you tell me
a little about yourself?

I'm originally
from Wichita, Kansas.

Oh. And what brought
you to New York?

The Lord.

Uh-huh.

Well, thank you very much
for coming by.

I've just graduated
from Johns Hopkins,

and I'm taking a year's
sabbatical before I begin
my medical school training.

Fabulous!
And what brought you
to New York?

I came here to
live with a guy,
but that didn't work out.

And then three weeks ago
I suffered a nervous
breakdown.

You see, my father,
he tried to commit suicide

and when I came home
I found him at the bottom
of the stairs.

My mother was drunk,
and she accused me of
trying to kill him.

So what did you say
your baby's name was?

I think you should
know from the start

that I am
a full-charge nanny.

I don't argue

and I do not like
to be argued with.

I will teach your daughter
to properly respect a man.

I speak only
when spoken to.

I do not need a bed,
I prefer to sleep
on the floor.

Well, I don't have any
real nanny experience,

but I love kids,

and I did
a lot of babysitting
for people back home

in Mandrake Falls...

You're hired.

Elizabeth...
Yes.

I'm leaving
for Cleveland now.

I will be back tonight,

and tomorrow
we will spend
quality time together.

Now, Eve,
your new babysitter,

is a very responsible
person,

and I feel
very comfortable
leaving you with her.

I gotta go.
Uh, Eve! Good girl.

Eve, now, you know
how to do everything,
right?

Don't worry, Miss Wiatt.
Everything is under control.

"Don't worry"?
Worry's my middle name.

Really?
Well, no.

No, no.

Now, you have
my number at the office
and they can always reach me.

Got it right here.
Good.

And if you should
take her to the park,
I want you to be sure...

I know. Take the mace.
This isn't Mandrake Falls.
Right.

Very good.
Thank you, Eve.
Thank you.

You're welcome.

Everybody knows
that The Food Chain

is one hell
of an organization.

Your managers are effective,
your workers, motivated.

According to your data,
your margins could be
the highest in the industry.

Twenty percent growth,
equity returns
in the high 20s.

So, what's the problem?

Why isn't The Food Chain
number one in
the marketplace?

Now that's the question
that's been keeping me
up at nights,

and then I realized that
the answer is so simple...

Miss Wiatt?
It's... Yes.

Line two is for you.

Well, I'm very sorry...

They said
it was important.

Well, excuse me.

J.C. Wiatt.

Eve...

Eve, I'm in the middle
of a very important meeting.

So what's going on?

The nipples?

Well, did you look
in the drawer to the right
of the sink?

Why don't you do that?
Hurry up and while
you're at it,

make sure they're
sterilized, okay?

No, no, no. No, Eve.
Don't put her on, please.

Hi. Honey,
yes, I hear you.

Okay, okay.

* The itsy-bitsy spider

Good! Would you
put Eve back on?

Eve, Eve, I gotta go.

Oh, oh...

Where was I?

EVE: Oh, hi, Miss Wiatt.

Hi, Eve.

You got
a message today.

Uh-huh.

Mr. Curtis called,
and he said,

"Congratulations.
You got the account."

Well, thank you, Eve.

Uh, what is going on?

This is Wayne.
Dwayne.

And we met
in the park today...

Uh-huh.
...and he was
just leaving.

Go with him.

So, Helga,
tell me about yourself.

How's your social life?
Would you say that
it's fairly active?

I have no
outside interests,

other than my sister
in Wiesbaden,

and of course,
my music and my books.

Oh, I see,
so then you're not
really involved.

I mean,
you have no...

Never have.

Oh. So, Helga,

now you're gonna
take her for a three-mile
walk every day?

Are you sure that's not
too much air or anything?

She will be fine.
Good.

Now listen,
I've gotta run.

I've got
an 8:00 appointment.

So, I've gotta go.
Bye-bye, darling.

Bye-bye.
Thank you, Helga.

Helga!

Helga!
Pardon me, Helga!

Helga! Helga!
Helga, excuse me.

I'm really sorry,
but I forgot,

there's just one
very small detail.

Could I have your
social security number
for tax reasons?

Uh-huh.
126-42-4276.

Great, and your
sister's name
in Wiesbaden,

in case of an emergency,
and her prison record,
if any.

Excuse me?

Silly. I mean
her address,
if you have it.

Good. I'll just write
that phonetically.
It doesn't even matter.

Oh, jeez, I'm late.
I'll get it later.

Oh, bye!
Bye-bye, Elizabeth!

Bye-bye! Bye!

Hey!

I'm sorry.
Really, I'm quite fine.

I'll see you
this evening!

Charlotte, here.

Take my coat,
will you, please?
Sure.

Oh! Gotta hurry.
I know. I'm late. Okay.

Meeting's started.

Thank you.

Oh, sorry.

The problems of motherhood,
I had absolutely no idea.

So, where are we?

Uh, have you
seen this?

Oh, J.C.,
we were just buzzing you.
Come in for a sec.

Sure.

Oh. Hi.

Listen.
I have good news.
Uh-huh.

I'm moving Kenny up.

Oh!

FRITZ:
I think after three years
under your tutelage,

he's ready,
don't you think?

Sure. Absolutely!

FRITZ: Yeah, I want him
to be first lieutenant
on The Food Chain.

Oh, you know, Fritz,
he's already been
helping me a lot.

Yeah. I want you
to really involve him.

Larrabee wants to push up
the deadline.

I'll need you both
full-time.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's great.
I got plenty
for him to do.

Thank you so much,
J.C., really.

Uh, listen, I got...
I've got dinner with
Larrabee's people,

so I gotta run.

Oh, again, Fritz,
thank you for
this opportunity.

That's all right.
Yeah, fine. Yeah.

Just congratulations.

Oh, thank you.
Really, thank you.

Oh...

You were smart
to recruit that kid.
He's good.

Yeah, he's great.
He's really just great.

CHARLOTTE:
Oh, there you are!

You forgot
your Teddy Ruxpin.

The Puffalump
didn't come in yet,
it's on order.

Here you go.
The batteries
are in the box.

Thank you very much,
Charlotte.

Okay.
Oh, excuse me.
I'm sorry.

Good night.
Have a good weekend.

Good night.

Good night, Fritz.

Good night.

What about a week
from Wednesday
for junior symphony?

No, no, no.
Cole has drama
on Wednesdays.

Oh. Ben's got
his play group
in French on Monday.

Gymboree on Tuesday,
computer readiness
on Thursday...

What about Friday?

After violin
but before his shrink?

Perfect.

Crosby, go play
in the sand box.
Here.

What is wrong with you?
You look awful.

We heard from Dalton.

Crosby didn't get in.

BOTH: Oh, no.

I'm so upset.

If she doesn't get
into the right preschool,

she's not gonna get
into the right kindergarten.

If she doesn't get into
the right kindergarten,

I can forget about
a good prep school

and any hope
of an Ivy League college.

WOMAN: Honey,
that is so devastating.

I just don't understand it.
Her resume was perfect.

Her references
were impeccable.

Dennis is gonna
kill me.

Excuse me. I heard you
talking about preschools,

and I was just wondering,
at what age do they
actually start?

I forget.

Well, it depends.
Two and a half, three.

Oh, yeah.
And are the good schools,
are they hard to get into?

Hard?
Are you kidding?

I've had Alexis
registered

at the Preschool
for Performing Arts
since birth.

He's already
on the waiting list
for Dalton.

So, if we're not on the
waiting list or something
by now, I mean, it's like...

You can forget
about it, honey.

Mom.
Hi, honey.

Doesn't the sky
look just like Cezanne's
Bay of Marseilles?

Gee, it does.

Oh, Ben,
that is a terrific
observation.

Go play, honey.

They teach Cezanne
in preschool?

Well, no, actually
Ben is a graduate
of The Center.

Oh, that's an idea
for you.

Really? The Center.
Now what is that?

It's a week-long
intensive training program

that literally teaches you
how to multiply your child's
intelligence.

When we first went there,
Ben, he could barely speak.

By the time we left,
he was reciting The Raven.

What kind of classes
do you have your daughter
in now?

Oh.

None.

WOMAN 1: Not even
a Mommy and Me?

No.
WOMAN 2: Not Gymboree?

WOMAN 3:
Not reading readiness?

Nothing!
The child can't
even hold a cup.

Ooh. The other babies
are way ahead of her.

WOMAN 2: I thought
I had problems.

MAN: Welcome
to The Center
for Brighter Babies.

The point here,
moms and dads,

is to teach
your children
the facts of life.

Everything they
see and hear can be
stored and utilized.

Please allow no more
than one second per
information card.

You may begin.

ALL:
Republic of Botswana.

President Kennedy.

Doorknob.

BMW.

Whoopi Goldberg.

J.C.: Look,
I'm late for a meeting.
Just let me out here.

I can run, okay?

'Cause you guys
didn't come in.

I asked you for
all the research that
I needed on Thursday.

When was it?
When did I... Oh!

Sorry. Whoa.
Very sorry.

Where was I?

* Wondering if the dreams
that I believed in

* Can still come true

* Caught in between,
it comes back to

* You and me
ever-changing times

* I gotta find me
a better understanding

* Every day,
keep forgetting
what's mine

* Gotta find me
a way less demanding

Tchaikovsky.

Great gray owl.

Shrimp sushi.

* All of our lives

* And I had some big ideas

* So much of my life
still not completed

* Hopes and fears

* Watching them change
into something new

* Wondering if I'm going
to find the answer

* Loving you

* All of my life,
it comes back to

* You and me
are running out of time

* Gotta find me
a better understanding

* Every day,
keep forgetting
what's mine

* Gotta find me a way
less demanding

* And we're holding on
so tight

* Together

* All of our lives

KEN: If we convince
Larrabee that's a
rational thing to do,

which it is, you know,
he's gonna go for it.

Right. So you know
what you do?

You put
a shark repellent
in the deal. Right.

Hey, you know what, Rog?
Let me handle it,
okay? Thank you.

Charlotte, can you
get me Elise, ASAP?
Thank you.

J.C., uh...

I thought you
were taking the
day off today.

What brings you
back so early?

Fate, I think.
Fate?

We had
a breakfast meeting
in here this morning.

Oh, you did?
Yeah. You have
so much more room.

Big, isn't it?
Yeah.

Hey, I'll be out
in just a second.

Just, sorry. I'm sorry.
Excuse me.

Ken, do you know
anything about...

Oh, Fritz. Hello.
Oh, you're here.

Listen, Larrabee's
all over me about
that target list.

Do you have any idea
when it'll be ready?

Oh, I'm finishing it tonight

and I'm gonna have it
on your desk first
thing in the morning.

Yeah, okay.
Well, J.C., actually,

I roughed out
a draft of it

while you were
at that baby thing.

Do you mind if I...

No. No, not at all.

It wasn't due
until tomorrow,

but if you have it done,
I think that's great.

Yeah.
Oh, terrific.

Great, uh...

Great.

Hey. Ken,
this is my office.

Yeah.
All right?

Okay. Yeah.

J.C. Wiatt.

It's for you.

KEN: Oh, great.
Thank you.

ELIZABETH: Mama!

Oh, I see.

You took your
diaper off again,
didn't you?

Huh, huh, huh?

Oh, no. I hope
you're not catching
a cold again. Oh.

You want to sleep
with me tonight?

No? I sure could
use the company.

Um, Mary, would you
have Robin see me as
soon as she gets in?

Oh, she's already here.
They had an early meeting.

Oh.

ROBIN: Thank you very much.
Oh, Robin.

Um, I need the flash report
in my office right away.

Uh, Ken said that we're
going to pass on the
flash report from now on.

Oh, no, no, no.
Wait a minute, now.

Since when is Ken
calling the shots
around here?

Ken.
KEN: Yeah.

I asked Robin
for The Food Chain
flash report

and apparently
you've made a decision
that I'm not aware of.

Well, we talked about
this the other day.
I mean, their figures...

Robin, will you excuse us
for one moment, please?
Sure.

Thank you,
Robin.
Mmm-hmm.

Their figures are
on track for the year.

You know?
There aren't gonna
be any surprises,

and we feel that it's
counterproductive so...

The Food Chain
is my account,

and I'm the person who's
gonna decide what is or what
is not counterproductive!

J.C., you're overreacting.
I think you're taking
this personally.

You bet I am.
I'm your superior
in this company,

and I will not be
countermanded.

Okay, whatever.
Don't walk away from me,
you little pisher.

If it wasn't for me,
you'd be selling shirts
at Barney's, you know that?

FRITZ: J.C.?

Can I see you
for a minute?

Of course.

I'm sorry. I know
I went a little
over the top,

but this guy's getting
out of control.

I mean, I know
he's inexperienced
and I know he's young,

but I just can't
use him on my team
anymore.

Fritz, you're just gonna
have to pawn him off
on somebody else.

Well, it's not that easy.

Sure it is! Yes.
You can give him
to Joel or Ted.

They can use him, but
I can't use him anymore.
J.C.! J.C.!

I'm turning
The Food Chain
over to Ken.

No.

This account is
too important for us
to take any risks.

Wait a minute.
I mean, I...

We have this account
because of me!

Yeah, I know that,
but you've changed,
J.C.

I mean, you've lost
your concentration.

I don't know.
You've gone soft.

Fritz, a baby
came into my life

and it's taken me
a few weeks to adjust,

but I'm over the hump
and I'm back.

Look, I need
a solid team
on this thing.

And Larrabee feels
comfortable with Ken.

Oh, I think
it's for the best.

I'm putting you on
the Ferber dog chow
account.

Oh. Oh, I see. I...

I thought that
I was gonna be
a partner.

That's
what I thought.

Well, maybe next year,
after things have
cooled down.

Uh-huh.

Ah, swallow
your pride, J.C.

Ferber's is a low-profile
account. You'll have more
time to spend with the baby.

I told you,
you can't
have it all.

Nobody can.
Not me,
not anybody.

Look, I don't even know
how many grandchildren
I have, okay?

But I've got this
company grossing
200 million a year!

Well, something has
got to give!

You've been
on the fast track
a long time, kiddo.

It's okay to slow down.
Nobody's keeping score.

Fritz, I can't
go out there now

and say
that I'm working on the
Ferber dog chow account.

Well, I guess you're
gonna have to do what
you have to do.

Let's see...

Okay. Okay.

Hello?

Yes, um, I'm calling
about the 62 acre
Vermont estate.

I was wondering,
is it still for sale?

Uh-huh.

Honey, you know
that big car I
bought yesterday?

Well, the reason
I bought it

is because we're
gonna go and live
in the country.

Yes, we are. Here, look.
See? See?

Yes. This is
our house!

Can you believe it?

I just phoned the number
and I bought it.

Honey, it's so exciting.

We actually own a house

with fruit orchards,
a pond and a barn.

Oh, Elizabeth, it's
going to be a whole
new life for us.

Yep. I'm going to relax
and sleep late.

Bake apple pies,
get into quilts.

I can't wait!

We're gonna be just like
the farmer in the dell.

Cow. Honey, look.

Over there. Moo-cow.

Moo-cow.

New York plates.

Uh-oh.

Hi. Hi.
We're gonna go.

Yeah.

Oh!

Dang it!

Isn't this
just fabulous?

I'm gonna rest
for just a second.

I'm just a little bit
out of shape.

This isn't
exactly the rowing
machine.

Oh, no. The oars.
Oh, no. Oh, God,
I need those.

No, don't...
Don't worry. Don't panic.
I can handle this.

Everything's fine.

Help!

I think that should be
enough for a pie.

Pie.

J.C.: And then the prince
kissed Sleeping Beauty.

Then she woke up,
and she looked into
the prince's eyes.

And you know what
she said? She said,

"Thank you for
waking me, Prince,

"because you
know what I did?

"I overslept, and I have
medical school today.

"And, you know, I'm going
to be a very important
doctor one day,

"like all women can be."

And then, you know
what they did?

They made a date
to meet each other

after her graduation.

And you know what?

It's a little bit
chilly in here.

Let's go see what
the radiator's doing.

Let's go see what
the radiator's doing.

It's cold in here, huh?

Huh? See, here we go. Here.

Oh, no!

Oh, no.

Them pipes is
corroded, miss.

There's no way I can
get this system
going again.

Oh, that's a bad break.

It's gonna be
a mighty cold
winter.

Yeah? How
do you know?

Well, you see
them birds?

They're gully willows.
Oh.

And when they're flapping
their wings like that,
means the big snow's coming.

Right.
I better call the editor
of the newspaper.

Now wait, Mr. Boone.

Are you saying there's
no way of saving this
system?

Uh, yup.

Do you know how much
it's gonna cost?

Uh, nope.

Uh-huh. Do you know
the ballpark?

Well, we're talking somewhere
in the neighborhood of
$7,000, $8,000.

What? Are you sure?

Yup.

Uh, Mr. Boone,
one more question.

Um, are you the only
plumber in town?

Uh, yup.

God!

So, uh...

How's the roof?

You've seen worse,
right?

Uh, nope.

Come on. What are you
saying? I need a whole
new roof?

Uh, yup.

J.C.: Hello?

Elise?

Oh, hi!

It's so good
to hear your voice.

Oh, I'm fine.

Really, I've
never been happier.

Um, right now?

Well, actually,
I'm making baby
applesauce.

No, it's not from jars.

No, it's from
real apples.

I told you about
my orchards, right?

Well, you see,
I invented this recipe
for Elizabeth,

and, you know, I mean,
she really loves it,

and, well, it...

It gives me something
to do while it snows.

So tell me,
what's going on
in New York?

Oh, hectic. Oh.

Right.

You did!

You mean
you got the big corner
office.

We're talking about
the big, big one?

Oh, well.
I mean, congratulations.

Oh, yeah.

You did?

It was, huh?

Well, yeah.
Yeah, sounds like fun,

if you're into that
New York kind of
nightlife, sure.

Really? You did?

Oh.

Yeah. Where...
Where did you
meet him?

* I'll never

* Smile again

* Until I smile at you

* I'll never laugh again...

Give me Waterman
in Atlantic Overseas.

Pathetic.

RADIO ANNOUNCER:
This is the Night Owl
on WHDY, Hadleyville,

signing off and wishing you
a pleasant tomorrow.

And it's gonna be a nice one,
only 17 below.

Enjoy it.

No!

BOONE: Uh-oh.

Your well's dried up.

Oh! Oh, God.
That's good.

I thought it was
something serious.

We can just fill it up
because there's a hose
right around back.

Do you know
what I mean?

Fill it...
Fill it up?

What?
Fill it up?

Lady, you're...
You're out of water.

You're out of water.
You're gonna have to
tap into the county line...

...and that's three
miles down the road.

Well, look, I am almost
out of money, Mr. Boone.

I don't understand
these technicalities.

Just tell me
one thing, okay?

Is this going
to be expensive?

Yup.

Well, do you know, like
approximately how much
this is gonna cost me?

Nope.
Nope, right. Yeah.

Well, just guess!

$5,000, $6,000,
maybe more.

Oh, well, that's just fine.
That's it! I've had it!

I can't make it
here, okay?
Okay.

I mean, I am not...

I am not Paul Bunyan,
all right?

I went to Harvard.
I graduated at the top
of my class. For what?

To spend my life
fixing up this
dilapidated shack?

Well, you can
just forget it,

because I'm gonna
get out of here.

You see?
I need to work.

I need people.
I need a social life.

I need sex!

Please! I'm
a married man!

I'm gonna
shrivel up and
die here!

I mean, how
much baby food

is a person supposed
to be able to make
in their lifetime?

I mean, I am
a career woman.

I'm used to having
phone lists and
dinner meetings.

Do you know
what I mean?

Uh, nope.

I have been "yupped"
and "noped" to death
by you guys!

I have had it
with whiskers
and plaids!

Look at me.
I am going nuts!
I used to be cute!

I am not prepared
for wells to run dry!

I just wanna turn on
the faucet and have water.

I don't wanna know
where it's coming from!

Another 6,000!

Oh!

DR. COOPER: Hi.

I'm Dr. Cooper.

You passed out, and
Mr. Boone brought
you here to my office.

Hi.
You okay?

Yeah. Where's the baby?

Oh, she's fine.
She's with my nurse.

J.C.: Oh. I fainted?

Yeah.

Really, I did?

Oh. I never fainted
before, Doctor.

Is there any chance
you might be expecting
Mrs. Wiatt?

No. There's absolutely
no chance of that,
Doctor.

Zero chance of that.
Less than zero.

Well, it's okay.
You can talk about
it, if you want.

No, I can't.
Mmm-mmm.

I can't
talk about it.

Wait. Hang on. Here, here.

Well, don't get
upset. It's okay.

Oh, Doctor.

You thought that I...
You thought that
I was pregnant?

Well...
Fat chance.

But, you see,
but that's not
why I'm crying.

You know, because...

I haven't had any...

I haven't had any,
you know...

Sex.
Hmm.

I just can't even
hardly say the word.

And it's not like I was
ever that into it,
you know?

But when it's gone,
and you have no prospects
of it in the future,

it's very upsetting.

I...

I hope you don't mind
my talking to you like
this at all.

No, no, no.
Just... Just relax.
No?

I don't know
how to relax.

It's not in my nature.

You know, I mean,
I moved here, um,

from New York,
foolishly thinking
that the country

was gonna be
good for me, right?

I thought that
I needed to slow down.

I wanted to...

I wanted to...
Um...

I wanted to think
and I wanted to put
things into perspective,

but now I just wanna
go home, Doctor.
I'm broke.

I have nothing but this
200-year-old house that
I hate.

I just...

I'm so...

I'm so lonely, Doctor.

I'm so lonely!
It's okay.

Uh, what is that?
What's that?

That's
my next patient.

What do you mean?
I'm a vet.

Hi, Joe.

You're a what?
Hi, Doc.

I'm a veterinarian.

I'm spilling
my guts out
to a vet?

I'm lying on a vet's
table telling you
about my sex life?

Well, what do I have,
horse hair on me
anyway?

I thought you knew.
Based on what?

What? You're wearing
a white jacket. You
look like a real doctor.

You've got diplomas
and a stethoscope.

Relax, I wasn't
gonna put you
to sleep.

Oh, what is that
supposed to be?
Vet humor or something?

Look, Dr. Cooper,
I think it's highly
unethical of you

to allow an obviously
emotionally unglued woman

to sit here and think
that you're a real doctor!

I mean, I think I should
report you to the AMA.

Or the AVA.
Or the VMA.

Or whatever.

Oh! Now look,
may I please
have my coat

before your next
patient eats it?

Right.

I am putting the
house up for sale.
Here. Here you are.

I am moving back
to civilization.

I'm gonna get myself
a nice little apartment,

watch HBO and have
a real life again.

Oh!

MAN: Reckon she'll be
able to sell the place?

Not likely.
Place was for sale
for five years.

She was their
only nibble.

Five years and I was
the only nibble?

Meg, this is no good.
I mean, if I can't
sell the house,

I can't afford
to move back to
New York.

I know, honey.

Well, we'll do
the best we can.

No. Five years.
You say five years,
and I'm the only nibble?

They're almost
too pretty to eat.

I know. I got carried away
during the last storm.

The twins loved
the last batch.

And them kids
don't eat nothing
out of a jar.

Oh, is that... Oh!

What?

Oh, dear. I got some...
This aspirin is stuck
in my throat.

Could I... Could I have
just a little piece of
bread

or something?
Oh yeah. Certainly.

Oh, my God!

You should try this.
Oh.

Oh.

If I could just...

Excuse me.
Hmm?

Are you feeling
all right?

I heard about
your collapse over
at the town meeting.

Dr. Cooper's nurse
is also our mayor,
you know?

No, I didn't know
that. Really?

So, I'm the talk
of the town, huh?

Well, so to speak.

Well, that's very
comforting to hear.

Let me tell you.
Listen, um, Sam,

I could use
a few things.
Mmm-hmm.

I need a half
gallon of milk,

two bottles
of apple juice,

a box of
Hamburger Helper

and two dozen cans
of that kerosene.

Yeah, I'm working
on a small project
at home.

I wanna get back
to the pottery place
before it closes.

Isn't this place cute?

The whole state is cute.

Phil, did you lock the car?
The video camera is in there.

Yes, honey. I locked it.
I locked it.

Hey, do we have
enough maple syrup
or should we get more?

Better get
a couple more.

Oh, honey, look at
these for Lindsay.

Those are great.
Isn't that adorable?

Oh, look at this.

Does this look
good on me?

Well, what are
you going for?

I don't know.
Turtleneck, Sundays
reading the paper.

What? No good?

Well, they're $12!

You don't need a $12 shirt.
Get a Ralph Lauren.

Gail! Look at this!

Gourmet baby food!

I've never
seen this before!

Fabulous idea!
How much are they?

Oh, they're $3.50 a jar.
Cheap!

Well, $4.50, I mean
they're $5.50. They're
$5.50 a jar.

Oh, great packaging
concept!
Really.

This is very unique.

That means the way
it's designed.

Oh, really! Isn't that
something? You learn something
new every day, don't you?

We'll take a dozen.
And how are you?

You cute little
country baby!

We'll take
a dozen, too.

I can't believe
nobody's come up
with this before.

Gourmet baby food!
Fabulous idea.

Great
Christmas gift!
It is.

Great.

Well, God,
it's the greatest Christmas
present. Uh, it is.

Yeah.
Honey, maybe we ought
to even get more.

We should.
We, too.

Yeah.

I'd like to see
everything you have
on baby boomers,

new consumerism,
baby food manufacturers.

Also recent issues
of Progressive Grocer
and American Demographics.

Uh, look, I know
we saw each other,

so it'd be kind of stupid
for me to ignore you, right?
Oh.

No. No, really. It
wouldn't. Go ahead,
please. Ignore me.

You have my permission.

Yeah.

There's something about
you that's kind of hard
to ignore, you know.

Uh-huh.

What are you
doing here anyway?

Well, I'm just doing
a little bit of research.

Oh.

Oh, can I help you?
No, no, you can't.

Really. You cannot.

What are you doing here?
I thought you were a vet.

Hi, Dr. Cooper.
Hi, Stacey.

No, I teach a class
here once a week.

Uh, aren't you supposed
to be headed back
to civilization?

Oh, I'm working on it.
Believe me.

What?

Uh, nothing,
I was just wondering

if maybe you wanted
to go have a cup
of coffee.

I don't drink coffee.

Okay...
Anyway, I thought that
you asked in a way

that just sort of sounded
to me like you weren't
even asking,

so I just think, you know,
"Forget it." Just forget...

I can't believe this.

Um, are you this
nervous around
all men,

or is it just me?

Oh, no.

"Place the
jack tongue..."

Oh, God.

"...in the slot
in the bumper."

Okay. Okay.

All right.
I've got this bumper.

I'm positioning this
tongue in this slot.

Oh.

You need some help?

Everything is under
control. Thank you
very much.

Here, here. Let me...
No, I've got it.
I've got it fine.

It's gotta go
in the slot.

Oh.
There you go.

Yes, I guess
I'm just...

I guess I'm just not used
to this kind of jack,
that's all.

Right.

You know, uh,

you kind of remind me
of a bull terrier
sometimes.

Yeah. I bet you say
that to all the girls.

You do. I mean,
you're feisty
and quarrelsome

and hard to get
along with.

You know, even a bull
terrier, once they
warm up to you, they...

They what?

They bring you
your slippers?

There.
You got it.

Now, I'm just going
to loosen the lug nuts.

These are...
The lug nuts
are right there.

Oh, yeah.
I knew that.

Look, is there something
I've done to you that
I don't know about?

Right. Right.

You don't know that
I've been completely
humiliated?

Why? Because you told me
you hadn't had sex
for over a year?

It has not been
over a year.

Where did you hear
it was over a year?
At the town meeting?

There's nothing
to be ashamed of.

I'm...
I'm not ashamed.

I just really choose
not to talk about this
any further.

There!

If a man knows
your frailties,

it doesn't necessarily
mean that he's your
enemy, you know.

I mean,
I like frailties.
I like women.

So, you're under
control here?
Yes, I'm fine.

You know, you and me
are probably the only
two people under 60

in the whole
of Hadleyville County,

so we might as well
make the best of it.

Look, I appreciate you
taking the time to chat,

but I'm really not
in the mood for
idle conversation.

So, if it should
happen again, I think
we should both

gracefully try to
ignore each other.

'Cause I'm not one
of your little students

who's gonna faint
every time you say
"hello."

I am a tough,
cold career woman

who has absolutely
nothing in common

with a veterinarian
from Hadleyville.

I have only one thing
on my mind at this point
in my life,

and that is to get out
of this moth-eaten town.

And nothing here,
including you,
Dr. Charm,

holds any interest
for me whatsoever.

So what do you think
about that?

See you around.

Wow.

We don't sell baby food.

That's perfectly fine,
because this is unlike

any baby food
you've ever tasted.

It's all natural.
It's homemade.

We don't sell baby food.

Right.

J.C.: Now, ladies,
I'm telling you honestly.

Trust me.
You can trust me.
I swear to you.

This is the
greatest stuff ever.

Honest. Really.
Were you gonna
try it?

Look. I'm gonna show you
something now you're not
going to believe.

Here you go.
Here you go.
Here you go.

You want this?
You wanna take it?

Put it in your mouth.
Are you going to...

I like it!
I love it.

So, now let me
get this straight.

You want the Country Baby
peas, peas and carrots,
the corn and the bananas?

Oh, and listen,
why don't I send you
our catalogue?

Great. Super.
Okay. Bye.

J.C.: Elizabeth,
that's great!

Morning, J.C.
Morning!

We'll send that
right over, Mayor.

Thanks, Mary.
I'll see you
tomorrow.

Oh, excuse me, Mayor?
Aren't you Dr. Cooper's
nurse?

Yes, I am.
Oh, how are
you feeling?

Oh, I'm fine.
How's Dr. Cooper?

Oh, he's fine.

Oh, good. I'm glad
to hear that.

You know, I was
thinking about him
the other day,

and it's just
very good to hear
that he's pretty fine.

Well, he had a pretty
bad cold, but he's
much better now.

Oh.
Just has a bit
of a cough.

Well, tell him I said
"hi." No, forget it.
Never mind.

He'll just think...

Oh, my goodness.
Well...

See you later,
Doctor.

Hi.

Oh, are you taking
something for that,
uh...

Oh, yeah, I think
I've got it under
control.

That's
good. I'm glad to
hear that.

Yeah.

So, I hear your...
So?

...business is
really taking off.

Isn't that something?
It's unbelievable.

Yeah.
We have our products
in a catalogue.

Do you?
Yes, and I'm
doing very good.

That's good.
Yeah.

Are you still moving
back to New York?

Oh, yeah.
First chance I get.

Hmm.

Huh.
Huh.

Um, yeah...

Well, it's good
to see you.

Oh, isn't
that something?

It's good
to see you, too.

Take care.
Um, yeah.

Yeah. Take care.

J.C.: There it goes!
MAN: Look at that.

Yeah, you're big time now.
Great! It looks
good! I love it!

J.C. J.C., hi.

Oh, hi.
How are you?

I'm good. I'm good.
This is Ben.

I knew it was Ben.
I knew it.
Yeah.

Hi, Annie. Hi.

You see Elizabeth?
Doesn't she look
cute tonight?

You wanna dance, huh?

Hello. And how are you?

Oh, Emily, hello.
How are you?

Hi.

I didn't know you were
a music aficionado.

Oh. No, I never miss
a concert my plumber
plays in.

Oh, he's pretty good,
isn't he?

Yeah, he's very
good. Yeah.

Oh, so this is the famous
"Country Baby" baby?

I know. What do
you think? This
is Elizabeth.

Hi.
Hi. Hi.

I know.

Well, you look good.

Thanks. So do you.

Um, I like your shirt.

Do you?
Yes.

Listen, you want to know
how... You don't drink
coffee, do you?

Oh, but I drink
lots of other things.
You do?

Yeah, 7UP
and root beer,
iced tea and water.

You do?
I drink punch.

Punch!

Well, let's have
some punch.

Oh!
It spilled.

Oh, no.

We're gonna slow things
down now a bit, folks.

So if you wanna take hold
of your favorite partner,

now would be
a good time.

One, two, three.

* Pennies in a stream

* Falling leaves,
a sycamore

* Moonlight in Vermont...

Do you wanna dance?

Would you like
to dance?
Oh, I would.

I'd love to dance.
You would?

I don't exactly know
what I'm gonna do
with chatterbox...

I'll hold her.
I'll hold her.
Will you really? Thanks.

Okay, I'll be back.
I'll be back.

Oh, quick.
Okay.

Oh, by the way, I...

I don't really
slow dance
all that well.

So, you gonna still do this?

DR. COOPER: Come on.
Come on. Let's give
it a whirl.

Hey. Is she asleep?

Oh, yeah.
She's really out.

Um, I think I have
a bottle of wine
in here somewhere.

You do?
Yeah.

A short house.
Oh.

It's in the refrigerator.

Oh, you know,
um, I know what.

I'm...

I'm going to get
us some glasses.

Okay.

Hey, you've
stocked up, huh?

Oh, I know. I'm...

I'm always experimenting
with new recipes.

I wonder if maybe
I could interest you

in something like
I don't know,

some strained zucchini, huh?

Hmm. Maybe later.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.
This is it.

Here it is. Here.

No?

No? No. Oh, no, no.

No.

Yes?
Yeah...

No, it's... Yeah, sure.

Go ahead.

Are you...
I mean, you're not
getting cold, are you?

Mmm-mmm.

You know something?
Hmm?

Do you remember
that night at the library
when you asked me

if all men made me nervous,
or if it was just you?

Yeah.

You know what
my answer is?

What?

I think that all men
make me nervous.

Yeah.

Except you.

* In the wintertime

* Moonlight

* In Vermont

* Oh, people...

* Are so entranced...

Oh.

Hi.

Hi. You tired?
Hi.

Well, I usually require
more than 20 minutes
sleep a night.

Oh.

Hi.

ELIZABETH: Daddy!

What are
you doing up?
Da-da?

No, no, honey.

No, this...
This is not
da-da.

No. I think
she's at that age

where she confuses
"man" with "da-da."

Mmm.

Oh, okay,
let's look here.

Honey, I'll pick up
the phone.

Hello.

Fritz!

Well...

Well, hello! Hi.

Well, I'm fine.
How are you?

Oh, well, thank you!
Thanks!

Oh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.

They do?

Really?

They are? Well...

Well, yes, of course
I would love to talk
to 'em.

Um...

Absolutely. Sure.
That would be great!
I...

This afternoon
would be fine,
just fine.

Okay, Fritz, okay.

Okay. Bye-bye.

The Food Chain wants
to buy Country Baby.

Is it for sale?

Well, I don't know! I...

I don't know, but
the thought of going
back to New York

as a hit is... Wow!

I mean, we're
talking major big.

Big, you know?

Hmm.

Well, so, I guess
this means you
won't be free

for bingo tonight
down at the fire
station?

Um, can I call you later?

Sure. I'll be here.

Sloane, Curtis and Co.,
will you hold, please?

May I help you?

Miss Wiatt!
Hi.

You look wonderful!

Oh, well,
thank you
very much.

Would you tell
Mr. Curtis that
I'm here?

They're all waiting
for you in the
conference room.

Oh, good. Okay.

Miss Wiatt's on the way.

WOMAN: Hi.
Hello.

HELEN: Hello, Miss Wiatt.
Hello, Helen.

J.C., good
to see you.
Thank you.

Where's the little one?
Oh, she's at home.

Oh, too bad.

Come on in!
We're all waiting.

Thank you.

You remember
Hughes Larrabee.

Oh, Hughes.
Well, thank you
for coming.

Good to see you.
And Fritz.

J.C., welcome back.
Thanks.

Shall we?

You look terrific!

First of all, J.C.,
on behalf of all of us,

I want to congratulate you
on a great, great success.

Thank you.

Usually in a meeting
of this nature

we have to take
the client by the hand

and lead him through
the negotiations,

but in this case,

we know we're dealing
with a savvy business woman.

Mmm-hmm.
So we'll cut through
the proverbial crap

and get right to
the nitty-gritty.

Hughes.

As Fritz told you,

The Food Chain is
interested in acquiring
Country Baby.

You've discovered
an untapped market
in the food business,

which is something
we all know is a pretty
tough thing to do.

However, we truly feel

that you've taken
this thing just about
as far as you can.

You're working with
an inexperienced staff

in a factory too small
for your product load.

You're burdened with
a severely handicapped
distribution apparatus.

What we'd like to do,
we'd like to help you
change all of that.

We'd like to see Country
Baby on every supermarket
shelf in America.

Mmm-hmm.
FRITZ: J.C.,
we all realize

that you may still be
harboring some ill will.

In fact, Hughes suggested
that we even consider

bowing out of
these negotiations,

but I assured him that
you were a big girl now,

and that what happened
between us is strictly
water under the bridge.

Oh, well, it's water
under the bridge

depending on how good
your offer is.

I told you
she'd play hardball.

I learned
it from you, Fritz.

FRITZ: Well, thanks.

J.C., shall we look
at the proposal now?

The Food Chain
will acquire
Country Baby, Inc.

for $3 million, cash.

Mmm-hmm.
HUGHES: In order to take

some of the day-to-day
responsibilities
off your shoulders,

we'd like to move
your base of operation
to Cleveland,

so that our people
could oversee production.

Country Baby homemade
in Cleveland?

I don't think so.

That point is negotiable.

Naturally,
we'd like to retain
your services

as chief operating officer,

with a base salary
of $350,000 a year,

with a bonus tied in
to the company's earnings

of up to 150 percent
of your salary,

which means, young lady,
that if the Country Baby
performs as expected,

you're looking at close
to $1 million a year
in salary alone.

What is that banging?

Paragraph four.

The Food Chain will
purchase an apartment
for you of your choice.

Naturally, there are
various perks,

six-week vacation,
golden parachute clause,
pension plan,

and, of course,
use of the company jet.

That's it?
That's it.

Um...

Well, Hughes,
would you mind

if I take a few minutes
to think this over?

No, I wouldn't
mind at all, please.
Not at all.

Oh, thank you.

Um, oh,
save my seat.

I think it's
in the bag.

Hope. Hope so.
Fine. Fine.

What do you think?
Time for the champagne,
gentlemen?

I'm back.

I'm back!

Yeah, I'm back.

That's right.

Oh, uh, sit
down, please.

I think I'm gonna
have to pass.

Excuse me?

My answer is "no."

Well,
which part no?

No $350,000 base?
No bonus tie-in?

No to all of it,
Fritz. Country Baby's
not for sale.

But this is
a world-class deal.

It'll make you richer
than you ever dreamed!

I'm sorry, Fritz.

I think I'm gonna have
to stay right where I am.

Perhaps all that's
happened between us

isn't water
under the bridge.

Well, no.
Maybe it isn't.

I mean, I was...

I was very
excited about
this offer,

but, you know, I don't
think I really thought

about what it meant,
and you see,

I'm not
The Tiger Lady
anymore.

I mean, I have a crib
in my office,

and there's a mobile
over my desk,

and I really like that.

I mean, Fritz,
do you remember
that night

when you told me about
the things that I was
gonna have to give up

and the sacrifices
that I was gonna
have to make?

Well, I don't wanna
make those sacrifices.

And the bottom line is
nobody should have to.

No.

I don't think
this is gonna
work out,

and I'll be
honest with you,

I think I'm doing
pretty good on
my own.

To be quite frank,
if The Food Chain

can put Country Baby
on every supermarket
shelf in America,

so can I.

I'm sorry.

I just think the rat race
is gonna have to survive
with one less rat.

And anyway,

I really think I'd miss
my 62 acres in Vermont.

I mean, Elizabeth is
so happy there, and...

And, well, you see,
there's this...

This veterinarian
that I'm seeing.

What's she saying?
She's a vegetarian?

Do you realize
what you're
giving up?

Yup.

There's nothing
we can do to change
your mind?

Mmm, nope.

Hi. Is the doctor in?
Hi.

Sure, honey.
Go on in.

Hi. Hi, boy.

Hi.
You're back?

I am back.

Well, how did it go?

Oh, I don't...
It just wasn't that
great a deal for me.

No? It didn't pan out?
No.

No.

It's too bad.
Yeah, it's too bad.

Does this mean
you're gonna be...
What?

...hanging around
Hadleyville?
Yeah.

It does?
Mmm-hmm.

So, what do you think?
If you're free tonight,

maybe you'd like to
come over. Maybe we
could, you know,

watch the farm
report on TV?
Sure.

Yeah?

I gotta get to bed
kind of early, though.

You do?

Oh. Well, that's
no problem.

Oh, hi. Shh. Shh.
Where is she?

Elizabeth.

Mama!

Hello. Hello.

What did you do today?
What did you do?
What did you do?

Did you play?
Did you see
your friends?

Did you?
Were you a good girl?

See the flowers?