Baby Assassins (2021) Movie Script

Well...

I've been a frequent customer of

this store for some time...

I felt the atmosphere was very good.

I applied for this job because the working

environment is really good.

Also, it said I can take this

as a side job.

And... this.

This...

WELCOME TO HAPPINESS MART!

I liked this sign very much!

You did?

I made it.

Oh, I see.

Don't touch it too much.

Sorry.

I thought it was really...

cool.

Is that so?

So your name is Mahiro Fukagawa...

What else do you do for a living?

Well...

Video streaming...

Oh, you live stream.

It's all the rage these days.

YouTube or something?

Yes.

That's my main job...

Main job?

A gameplay or something like that, right?

Something like that...

I see.

My son was playing video games

all the time,

and I scolded him.

And he said, "I'm going to make

some money out of this!"

I said back to him, "You want a job

playing games? Stop daydreaming!"

And then I threw his computer away.

Oh, I see.

You can't play around

all the time either, okay?

You need to get a better job.

You're the one who would regret it

in ten years or so.

What do your parents say about your job?

What?

They don't have any particular opinion.

You have to take care

of your parents, okay?

Family comes first, you know.

- I love this quote of Hiroshi Nohara.

- Yes.

"Dreams don't run away."

"It's always you who runs away."

I was really moved.

It's so deep.

That's probably not what

Hiroshi Nohara said.

Anyway.

Let's see. How many times a week

would you like to work?

About three days...

What about a late-night shift?

I need someone working at late night.

That's fine.

I see.

What about a weekend shift?

So?

Is that "No"?

Well...

What?

What's going on?

I can't do this anymore...

What?

What did you say?

I'm tired of this kind of conversation.

What?

What do you mean?

You're in the middle of a job interview.

- I'm not good at going undercover.

- What?

- I can't stand it.

- What?

- Let them get mad at me later.

- What is it?

What?

All right. Good job!

I have to take a picture.

Say cheese!

Okay.

Good.

Oops.

What shall I eat for dinner?

What?

They know I'm here.

You fucking killed our manager? You bitch!

He's been working without sleeping!

Thank you very much!

It said, "Any harm to the other clerks

is unavoidable..."

Yeah.

Yes, it does.

Mr. Tasaka can do the cleaning.

I don't think the police is around.

All right.

Let's do this.

We'll avenge the manager ourselves!

- Yeah!

What kind of convenience store is this?

Disgusting...

Hey!

I'll kill you!

Hey!

I'm so exhausted.

- Thank you for calling.

- Oh, no.

- Shimabukuro from Happiness speaking.

- It got smeared.

This store is...

closed as of today.

So please don't call us

when I'm fucking busy.

Hey!

What the hell...

am I supposed to do with our

work shifts from tomorrow?

What?

Whatever.

You must be exhausted...

but let's have another match.

This is my favorite one...

Such a big dude...

That hurts!

This is for my manager!

Hey?

They almost got you.

You were here?

Wasn't the plan to get a job

and infiltrate before killing him?

You almost got killed.

So?

You pride yourself on your strength,

don't you?

We're assassins, so do your job right.

Yes, ma'am.

Good.

Okay.

Listen. I was getting annoyed

with the manager.

No wonder

you wanted to kill him right away.

He started telling me

Hiroshi Nohara's wise words.

- And that wasn't quite his word.

- What the heck?

"Dreams don't run away.

It's always you who runs away."

He said that with a serious look.

When telling horror stories,

that type of person says

"It's not the ghosts that really scare me,

it's the people."

- Right!

- Yeah?

One more typical phrase.

"The opposite of love is not hate,

it's indifference."

- He'd definitely say something like that.

- I thought the same thing.

I had afternoon tea in the morning!

Would he say something like that?

That's not that funny.

No?

You know, you go to a crowd and you say,

"Look, people look like garbage."

He'd tweet lines from movies

on the Friday night TV show, you know.

See?

The manager was weird.

Can you believe he threw

his kid's computer away?

Miss?

Are you listening?

Can you take shifts on weekends?

Are you listening?

Hey, you!

Ouch! That hurts!

Oh, I'm sorry!

It's just a habit...

What kind of habit is that?

This really hurt!

About the shift...

What?

I can work on weekends.

Who the hell hires you?

I'm sorry...

This really hurt!

Get out!

Sorry.

- Hey, you're here.

- Hey.

Thanks for coming!

Here you go!

What?

Thank you very much!

- Let me come in.

- Okay.

Wow.

That's grotesque.

I was told to make it as gory as possible.

I see.

So we're not doing this for Mr. Tasaka?

No.

They're busy so we have to dismember

some of the bodies ourselves this time.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah...

He's so high and mighty but

sloppy on instructions.

Right.

How was your interview?

Oh, the manager was so annoying

that I had to put him down.

It happens.

That happens a lot.

I saw this nail stripper in When They Cry!

Yeah, the one Mion uses.

Wasn't it Shion?

How did you get this?

Amazon is awesome.

Such a bad timing!

Let's finish this already.

Hurry!

Hurry up!

Can you shut your mouth, please?

Can't you see I'm talking over the phone?

Yes.

Yes. I got it.

Okay. Thank you.

It was the manager of the restaurant.

Your part-time job?

She said Ms. Masuoka's son had a fever.

I was asked if I can work today.

So you said no, right?

You've got to be kidding me.

This is your main job!

You ditch this for your side job?

I mean, now? In this situation?

What are we going to do about this guy?

We even bought the nail stripper!

The manager is having a holiday

after working 27 days in a row.

That's not your business.

That's your side job.

Are you listening to me?

Are you?

Okay, just go!

Thank you very much!

I'll buy you something nice tonight!

Forgive me!

Enough.

Thank you again!

Hey, finish him before you leave.

Oh, my bad!

- Do you mind if I borrow your gun?

- Why?

Mine was stolen.

Thank you very much!

All right, see you later!

That's sloppy.

LUNCHTIME PASTA

FOR FREE

Hi.

Forgot your shirt?

I couldn't bring one cause I didn't

have time to stop by home.

I've heard Ms. Masuoka's son

is having a fever.

She's having a tough time.

Being a single mother, you know.

You wear too much perfume.

I'm sorry.

Don't waste your time!

- Yes.

- I'll let you arrange some dessert.

Okay.

Finish that waffle first.

Waffle?

Here we go!

Done!

Waffle...

Here you are.

Do it again.

Now...

Would you want to eat this?

I don't think you would. Do it.

Is there any trick to this?

- Let me show you.

- Yes!

Give it to me!

I'll do it.

- Move away.

- Okay.

Pass me the mango.

It's right over there.

Mango? Okay!

- It's right over there!

- Okay.

It's right in front of you!

Yes, mango...

Mango...

It's right in front of you!

Right in front!

Get me mango!

Do you know what mango is?

Yes!

Right in front!

No!

Mango.

- Mango...

- Mango, don't you know what it is?

Oh, my gosh!

- Sorry!

- Here!

This is mango.

Sorry!

Don't apologize to me.

Mango...

What a drag!

Three, four...

Four days a week. I can work early

in the morning, late night, and weekends.

Yes...

Interview? Yes.

Yes, okay...

What a drag!

Good job!

Yes!

Wow, cool!

Here you go!

- Thank you!

- Wow, that looks really good.

Wow!

- Enjoy your waffle!

- Thank you!

But I don't like whipped cream...

So you can have it.

- Thank you.

- Enjoy.

What the fuck is your problem?

What?

What? Hey!

What the hell are you doing?

What?

I'm sorry!

What the hell?

- I'm so sorry!

- What?!

I'm sorry!

Mahiro!

I got canned!

I shouldn't have been there

if it was going to be like this.

All I wanted was to help them

and look what happened.

How did this happen?

You deserve it after leaving

the dead body.

Our main job is killing...

You didn't set up my plates.

Why do we have to get a part-time job

anyway? We're assassins, you know.

We kill people so we don't have to get

those annoying jobs.

Wow, that looks good!

Hey,

I didn't even get paid for the job!

Do you think they'd pay me?

No, I don't think so.

Forget it. It's only about 20,000 yen.

What a drag!

I hate it!

What's that sound you're making?

Imitating the sound of a dog

walking on a wooden floor.

That's too much pepper.

Do you want one?

I don't like spicy food.

Can't you eat spicy food?

You're such a child.

I didn't say I can't eat it.

The logic of saying that disliking

spicy food is a child isn't valid.

It's a matter of likes and dislikes.

That's "Spi Hara,"

What's "Spi Hara"?

Spicy food harassment.

You're spicy-food-harassing me,

left the dead body. You suck.

Don't get mad at me.

Come on!

I said I'm sorry.

Poking on the cheek!

- Poking oden in the cheek!

- Stop it...

I'm so geeked!

Are you eating oden with bread?

That's crazy...

Oden matches bread.

Here you go!

An apology gift.

An apology gift...

This bread can't be the true nature of...

What? Don't scare me.

What's "true nature"?

I mean the true nature of my anger

is somewhere else.

Do you get that?

I feel like I'm being misled

by this bread.

What's with you? Don't be a prude.

So you don't need this bread.

I didn't say I didn't want it.

Let my hands go. It hurts.

I'll have this bread but

you need to apologize to me first.

I'm sorry.

Yummy.

Yes.

Thanks for the preparation.

I just wanted to eat oden.

I'm so exhausted.

I lost my part-time job.

There is a tax hike. Japan is screwed.

Right you are.

It's all the government's fault.

They're the ones to blame.

Oh, I feel like shooting my machine gun.

We won't have a job using one for a while.

What did I buy that for?

Oh,

20,000 yen...

You're still not over it yet.

Thanks for waiting Kaoru.

Shall we?

You smell so good, Kaoru.

Are you wearing perfume?

Yes.

Cool!

- Is it?

- Yes, it is.

Hello, everyone!

Oh, what are you doing?

Push it in!

Oh, the gun!

Good!

Any blood on my shirt?

No.

- Okay?

- Okay.

- Somebody definitely saw us!

- Okay.

- Don't you think so?

- Okay.

Okay.

Please take care of the rest.

Yes. Talk to you later.

Hey, that's too much!

You've got to get rid

of the gunpowder smell.

That was close.

Mr. Tasaka would be furious.

I hate him.

Yeah.

- All right. We did a good job.

- Yeah.

Let's hurry. The movie will

start in a few minutes.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yes.

Good that we've already

bought the tickets.

Yes!

- It's freezing out here!

- It is.

Thank you for your work yesterday.

Mr. Tasaka wanted to talk to you directly

about how you handled the dead body.

You'll hear from him later.

Again?

What's with him? We did our job anyway!

One more thing. Are you two ready to live

together after graduating high school?

- What?

- What? Two of us? Live together?

Yes. That's our company policy.

The crew members are supposed to be

independent after graduation.

I've explained that to you two before.

Stop calling us "crew."

We don't work for McDonald's.

So can't I stay

at the place where I live now?

What?

No. You two need to learn how to live as

a member of society. So get a job

aside from your main job as assassins.

After graduation,

you'll be a member of society.

That's nothing special.

I don't want to have a part-time job!

I mean, I definitely can't do housework.

That's why you two live together

and cooperate.

Our support service expires by next week.

We've been issuing the notices

over one year.

The notice?

Oh, that piece of paper? I never read it.

- I don't read that sort of stuff.

- Me neither.

You should.

Didn't you two say that you wouldn't even

take the college entrance exam before?

Anyway, get a part-time job,

and live together.

Hi, there...

Nice to meet you.

What's that weird vibe?

It's hard to live together

all of a sudden. You know.

We need to feel ready for it, Mr. Susano.

Take the key of your new apartment.

We've already rented the right place

for you two. It's all furnished.

You'll take care of the rest of the stuff

like utilities and others.

Resident tax?

Tax return?

Health insurance?

I didn't learn any of these at school.

Send me the tax documents and our

accountant will take care of everything.

What scares us is not cops

but people from the tax office.

Anyway, I'll give you a quick explanation,

so please listen carefully.

First of all, the rent is due on the 27th.

The rent will be automatically deducted

from your account, so...

They really kicked me out!

Sorry, I'm late.

So where is our new apartment?

It's here.

Somewhere close to Ueno.

The nearest station is Uguisudani.

What?

Uguisudani?

There is nothing but love hotels.

I wanted to live in Shimokitazawa.

You know.

So how do we pay the rent again?

Who knows?

Mr. Susano

was giving you the instructions.

What? I thought you were listening to him,

so I didn't hear anything.

What? I thought you were listening to him,

and I was thinking something else.

You're so irresponsible!

So are you!

Which way?

- This way.

- Okay.

Those girls who walk home...

I mean those girls who like to walk home...

Most of them are mentally ill.

- We're all mentally ill!

- Shut up!

BEAN PASTE

130 YEN

Here is your change, three million yen!

Thank you!

Three million yen... What the hell...

Hey, let the man enjoy joking.

Let me give you something nice, you cutie!

What do you like?

Here it is. Take this bean jelly!

Thank you.

Thank you very much!

We'll be up all night unpacking tonight.

Oh, my gosh.

- We won't finish it tonight.

- Yes, we will.

We will.

Would you like some dumplings?

Well...

- I'll take the dumplings.

- Okay.

Here you go! 300 yen, please!

Here you are.

500 yen. Okay.

Here is your change, two million yen!

Two million...

That's the change...

That's very generous of you.

Two million.

I mean.

It's a joke you know.

Don't scare me, please!

What's so funny?

You said the change is two million yen.

This is only 200 yen.

Give me two million.

No, I mean that was...

What should I say...

So...

The change was 200 yen,

but I just said 2 million yen

to sound funny.

It's sort of humor, you know.

Humor?

Right. It is humor.

Humor!

Hey, don't take it seriously.

What's with the humor, you bastard?

Don't you fuck with a yakuza.

You said two million, didn't you?

What? Am I saying something wrong?

Am I wrong? Answer me.

No, you aren't!

Get me two million yen

no matter how long it takes.

You got that?

Hey, Dad!

What the hell are you doing here?

You want some dumplings?

We ain't got time for loafing around.

Loafing around?

Tojo, the guy who handles

our drugs got killed.

We're in trouble.

I'm not loafing around.

Whatever, let's go!

A single shot in the forehead.

That's so professional.

It must be some hitman!

So cool!

Dolce & Gabbana?

Hey, Daddy!

Stop saying "Hey." He's our boss!

Ouch, what the hell?

It's lovely to watch sibling rivalry.

Stop smiling!

Our man got killed, you know.

Mogi family must have done this.

We have to retaliate.

Take it easy, Kazuki.

We aren't sure who did this yet.

Idiots like you start something without

thinking, and disputes get uncontrollable.

He's so right!

Himari, you take care of this case.

Yes, sir!

Why not me, Dad?

I'm making more money than you.

You're nothing but a pimp

for sugar dating or something.

What?

Don't put me in the same boat

as you chicks who'd make it on sex.

Don't you dare mock women!

- What?

- Cut it out.

Kazuki, what you just said was sexism.

Sugar dating is a great way

of making money!

Diversity is the key nowadays.

Yakuza also needs to create a comfortable

working environment for women.

Haven't you seen Ocean's 8?

No, I haven't

I'll take care of this body

and find the killer, so leave it to me.

Don't screw up!

You handle this right,

and you'll take over his drug route.

For real?

I'll do my best!

I bet you will.

Spray some deodorizer on me!

Okay.

Thank you.

I hate yakuza.

Why is he so high and mighty?

That's the only way he can keep

himself together.

So this hitman...

I wonder what's he like.

Can't wait to see him.

Don't skip the ending!

That's the important part.

Lack of respect for the staff.

Pay some respect!

Come on!

Take care of the rest!

The server is too shitty.

There were only cheaters.

Your favorite voice actor

is getting swarmed on SNS.

It's okay. It happens all the time.

I don't want to go to the job interview.

- This is still the beginning.

- Hey.

I think I'm doing fine living

with you so far.

Isn't that great?

This is super easy.

Are you listening to me?

What?

Look!

I'm wrapping up some rice

into small potions.

This is quite a technique.

That's great,

but I guess you'll quit soon.

Why is the SNS full of bad mouth?

I'd definitely take them to court.

Why don't you just kill them?

Isn't this noise terrible?

Hey.

Hey, you over there!

What?

Shit, we're screwed.

You left the magazine

in the washing machine.

Gosh...

Bullets too.

Did we break the washing machine?

What do you think?

This happens a lot, you know.

You often leave

some tissues in the machine.

No, it doesn't!

It's really broken.

The lid is closed.

What about the faucet?

Don't put such pressure on it!

What?

My precious washing machine!

Thank you for your hard work

all this time!

You give up so fast!

How about tapping!

- Okay, fuck it.

- Okay!

I wonder why those people

start the flames on SNS.

Are you still talking about that?

Did you get rice?

Don't splash your ramen soup.

Sorry.

Be careful!

I will.

Sorry!

I've got a job interview that day.

Can you do that for me?

Sure.

Just killing some punks, right?

Great!

Okay, the meeting is over!

- Shall we?

- Yes.

Can you move over?

My senior at my part-time

job is really annoying.

This guy always tells me quotes

from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

Something like, “But, I won't do that.”

When I ask him something,

he says, "Have you ever counted the number

of loaves of bread you've ever eaten?"

It's okay if I like JoJo.

But I never watched it, you know.

This is good! It tastes right.

Beef tongue sold at wholesale stores

are the best, right?

Right. This is good.

Okay, wait.

It's okay.

- Get in!

- Come here.

Come here.

- Your cell.

- What?

I told you to show me your cell.

Are you fucking deaf?

I fucking told you to give me

your cell phone, asshole!

- Come on!

- Okay.

Have you hired a hitman

to kill a yakuza in Shinjuku lately?

What the hell are you talking about?

Just answer me, you dick head!

It hurts...

No evidence left on the phone?

I wonder what to do...

Tell me who did it or you die.

It's me! I hired the hitman...

and asked him to kill Tojo.

Wow! Bingo!

How did you figure out it's me?

We never did.

We kept kidnapping the suspects,

and beat them up.

You're the seventh guy.

Well...

He asked me if I wanted to

open my own restaurant.

I was just saddled with the debt,

and the store was shut down...

So it was all an act of

the yakuza after all...

All the girls I cared about were

drugged by these guys...

I couldn't let him go like that.

And my wife fell ill...

Enough of your story.

Save that for the TV show you'd be on.

I want to know who you asked to kill him.

- I don't know who did it...

- What?

They have a system that can never be

leaked to the outside world.

What?

I'm telling you the truth!

Their security is really tight! Seriously!

The request form on the website

disappeared after I sent the request!

- So you really don't know.

- No.

Did you ask them to kill anybody else?

- Yes. One more guy...

- What?

- Who's that?

- Hanabusa...

Oh, Hanabusa! I know him.

So if we use him as bait,

we'll know who'd kill him.

- That's a good idea.

- Okay, I'll help you do that. I will.

So please don't kill me. Please!

- Okay, I got you.

- Please!

Come with us. We've got some time to kill!

Okay?

Killing time?

Hey, pull over!

I told you to pull over!

Hey!

Pull the fuck over, idiot!

I don't know how I got into this mess.

The yakuza is the one to blame...

Why the fuck don't you stop the car?

If you beat this guy, you can go home!

Okay.

All right!

I can do this!

I can fucking do this!!

You guys think I'm just an old man

hanging around, don't you?

I'm famous around here, you know.

Ask anyone about me!

What?

He sucks!

- Come on.

- He sucks.

Bring somebody better.

Won't be long before you see one.

Oh, I'm late!

Hey, it's still noon!

It's already 2 p.m.

You just have to kill

some yakuza today, right?

I was told to break in the moment

he comes back.

So I can't be late!

You'll be fine!

I'm doing this for you!

Oh, my gun!

It's loaded! Safety on!

See you later!

Oh, I forgot my bicycle key.

Oh, it was in my hand!!

Lock the door when you leave.

This futon feels so good!

I made it!

I almost didn't make it. Just in time.

- There is nothing in this room.

- What the hell?

- Who the hell are you?

- Do as I say.

Are you kidding?

You think this is a toy?

Do you want to try?

What? Who the hell are you?

Hi there!

Okay, I think I'm in big trouble.

She almost got me.

Thank you!

Bingo!

You have a surprisingly pretty face,

you hitman!

What's your name, baby?

You reek of alcohol. What do you want?

What?

I wasn't expecting someone like you.

Hey, do you want to die?

First time using a handgun?

You could miss the shot at this distance.

You're a funny girl!

I've got a feeling

we're going to get along!

I'd love to offer some cleaning jobs.

Want to do something fun?

Give me your contact info.

That's just a momentary feeling.

That's not it!

Don't say something like that! Please!

Let's do something fun together!

Do you use LINE?

Sure!

QR code?

Right?

You didn't have to knock her out.

Come on!

This one sucks too.

How could she be a hitman?

I'm concerned about hitman industry.

What about this guy?

It'd be pretty convenient

for me if he died.

What?

No, you promised to

save me from the hitman.

Right?

That bitch is a pain in the ass.

What the hell does she want?

Come on.

She took my gun!

I'm so pissed.

I'm in a bad mood. Brace yourself.

- Put your focus on your target.

- Okay.

Help me...

Please...

Ready!

- Yes!

- All right.

Shoot!

Oh, no?

You almost had it.

- Everybody misses the first shot.

- Yes.

- Let's try again.

- One more time. Yes.

- Aim carefully. Take it easy.

- Yes.

I did it!

I told you I'm better than Kazuki.

- I'm very handy.

- What?

After all, you didn't get a clue

about the hitman.

Why don't we go to Disney Sea sometime

to appreciate our family bond?

That's a great idea!

Hell no!

Let me take over his drug deal.

I'll sell them to my friend rappers

and make good money!

That's my girl, Himari!

Thank you!

Damn.

Hey.

I thought you had a job interview today.

Didn't you have one?

Oh, that?

Wait a second. You ditched it, didn't you?

You know what?

We're not hurting for money.

Why do we have to get another job?

Don't change the subject.

I'm going to start my next job today.

What?

- Already?

- You'd better find a new one soon.

What...

Listen, I have an idea...

Yeah?

Do you think I can work

at the place where you work?

What?

I don't mind but...

I wonder if you really want to do it.

I wonder what they'd say if

I brought someone else to the interview.

I can't do anything alone, you know.

I can't do anything.

Maybe I might be able to do something

if you are with me.

- So, please!

- Okay!

I'll give them a call.

You are a lifesaver.

What's with you?

Thanks! I can do this!

Finally, I'll get a job!

Yes!

What the hell is this...

Hey, you look good!

Let's do a practical test.

Say, "Moe Moe Kyun!"

to this glass of water.

- To this?

- Yes.

He's got to be kidding.

Okay.

Moe...

Kyun!

You're up.

Okay, you go ahead!

Mo...

- Mo...

- Yes. That's it.

- Moe...

- Go ahead...

- You can do it.

- Are you okay, Mahiro?

Never mind. She's a bit weird.

You got the job, Chisato.

Thank you very much!

What should I do about you...

I'll give it my best shot.

Okay, then. You'll observe others today.

- Himeko, I leave the rest to you.

- Okay!

Nice to meet you. I'm Chisato.

Hi. I'm Himeko.

- Nice to meet you.

- Likewise.

Okay. Let's learn how you

introduce yourself first.

Watch and learn!

Hi! My name is Chamu Chamu.

I'm from another planet!

Please call me Chamy!

I'll serve you with all my might.

Pleased to meet you, my master!

Did you get it?

From another planet?

Let's give it a try, Chisato.

You might want to be an alien like me.

- Go ahead!

- Go ahead...

I'm from another planet...

- We're home!

Am I going to serve the customer already?

Don't worry. I'll be watching you.

Let's give it a shot!

Thank you for coming, my master!

We've got a new customer!

Welcome!

Remember this isn't Izakaya.

Our master is home!

Welcome back home!

No pop-out!

It's my turn.

No pop-out!

Wow! You're good!

My turn.

No pop-out!

You're the man!

How can you be like that?

No pop-out!

Hey, Mahiro! Take a look at this!

I'm burned out!

You're rich enough to buy a sandwich!

What? It's just a sandwich.

I know, it'll cost more than 300 yen.

That's over my budget!

It does.

Wouldn't you eat a beef bowl

if you've got 300 yen?

Or, you could get a cup noodles

and a rice ball...

I never thought about

how much I spent on lunch before.

I see.

Hey! That's a rice ball with salmon roe!

That costs 200 yen!

That's the most expensive rice ball.

You bought smoothies too?

That'd be more than 1,000 yen.

You need at least 1,000 yen to be full.

Don't you?

Is that so?

What?

- Oh, yes...

- Oh, I see...

I guess you're really poor!

You're so straightforward.

I need to pay my tuition for college.

No matter how much I earn,

they're all gone for my living expense.

After all, we all work for money.

We can't make a living without it, right?

Is that so?

Yes.

Well, I know some people can't make

a living even if they got enough money.

Are you all right?

You've got some tissue here?

Let me find one.

Tissue...

Where is the tissue?

I'm so sorry.

Never mind, get her some tissue.

- Thank you for your hard work!

- Thank you!

- Cheers!

Wow!

- This thing tastes amazing!

- It's delicious!

You had one hell of a time doing this job.

I never thought I'd be serving

customers on my first day.

Lots of picky customers?

You're too picky!

That's an outdated phrase.

Thank you for throwing me

such a welcome party!

You're welcome!

No more food?

Take a look, Himeko!

Ta-dah!

What? Is this because

I told you I'm stingy?

You're such a nice person!

You deserve this! You're such a poor lady!

You're so straightforward.

It's out of friendship!

I'll take this one.

Let me try this one.

You speak Kansai dialect.

Where are you from?

I'm from Osaka.

Oh, yeah? I'm from Kyoto.

- You're my neighbor, then!

- Wow!

How about Chisato?

Somewhere north...

Somewhere north?

Somewhere north...

- Somewhere north...

Sorry.

Hey, we've got some fruit sandwiches!

Wow, I've been wanting to try that.

Never tried this before?

Have you?

No way, it costs more than 300 yen!

You're always talking about money.

I want to try this. Anybody else?

Who wants to eat?

- Rock, paper, scissors!

I can't get used to that vibe.

I love cats.

They're so cute.

I envy them.

I'm home!

Don't make any sound!

I pulled an all nighter

for the first time.

I'm so sleepy.

Let's take my contact lenses off.

Good morning!

Why did you leave?

I had so much fun!

Oh, yeah? Good for you.

I should have worked at a place like that

from the beginning.

Yeah? Well...

That's not the place for me.

I was so embarrassed dressing like that.

So you're quitting again?

I think so.

Well, it's not going to be beneficial

to my life anyway.

You're just a part-timer

and you're that serious?

I mean, it's hard to get along

with other part-timers for me.

Oh, yeah?

I can't do that Moe Moe Kyun thing.

Well, you don't have to be able to work.

But it would be nice to be

able to communicate at least.

Otherwise, you'll have trouble getting

any part-time job.

What? What's with you?

Well...

I guess...

To each their own.

I'm fine with that.

I'm fine, but...

Yeah...

You sound like the crappy tweeter

who doesn't try anything on her own

but looks down on those

who are trying and feels comfortable.

I hate that sort of people.

When watching a comedy show,

you'd say, "Am I the only one

who didn't find that funny?"

"Am I the one who's strange?"

Wouldn't you?

No, I wouldn't.

I mean, like I said before,

this is about chemistry.

Say whatever you want.

You're sulking so you better fix it.

That's it. Well, good night.

Stop bugging me.

I just...

I'm only living like this

because it suits me.

Did I bother you in any way?

Did you two have a fight?

- No.

Well, let me talk about the next job.

It'll be tomorrow...

I can't be involved in that.

Let her take care of it alone.

Okay. How does that sound, Mahiro?

No problem. Unlike someone,

I'll fulfill my duty as an assassin.

She's failed job interviews

ten times in a row.

She's got talent for failing.

Just ignore her.

She's been trying to upset me.

Whatever. Please get along.

Chisato, don't put your focus too much

on your part-time job.

Mahiro, you do your best to pass

your next job interview.

- Okay.

They say,

"The closer you are, The more you fight."

No way.

There is no such thing.

Okay...

Never thought I'd be walking around

Akihabara with my dad.

I found some

good business around here, Kazuki.

Drugs and pimping are outdated.

We're in the era of "Moe."

What the hell is that? I don't understand.

You're so inflexible.

You need to learn new stuff.

We're going to have to

update our sense of value, you know.

We'll start a female-centric business.

All right.

Let's give it a try.

Are you serious, Dad?

It's embarrassing to try

this kind of place alone.

It's good that you came with me.

You'd be even more embarrassed

to bring your son.

You know, in school...

Welcome home, master!

Hi.

I'll show you to your seats.

Our master is home.

Such a nice place, isn't it?

What do we do in a place like this?

Can I have my check, please?

It's crazy expensive.

They charge 2,000 yen for an omelet!

I told you, this would be good business.

Isn't it too late to...

Allow me to introduce myself!

My name is Chamy! I'm from another planet!

I'm so excited

to serve you today, masters!

Hello.

I'll have an iced coffee.

I'll have a rice omelet.

Hey, master!

Please read out what's exactly written

on the menu, sir!

"Wah, wah, wah."

"Kids should stay away from it."

"One bitter iced coffee

for an adult, please."

Thank you sir! A glass of iced coffee!

You're calling it iced coffee?

How about you?

Dad, you don't have to...

Chick's pom poko-tweet tweet

rice omelet, please.

Dad...

Certainly, master!

Kazuki.

This is what you're supposed to enjoy.

It's quite a fun place. Isn't it?

Here you are.

Thank you for waiting.

Would you like some syrup for your coffee?

Please.

Yes, sir!

Allow me to cast a spell that will make

this syrup taste even better.

Please repeat after me

when I say, "Moe Moe."

- Okay.

Are you ready?

One, two, three!

Moe Moe!

- "Moe Moe!"

Huli-huli!

- "Huli-huli!"

Shake!

- "Shake!"

May the syrup be tasty!

- "May the syrup be tasty!"

Moe Moe Kyun!

- "Moe Moe Kyun!"

You know what? This is sort of fun!

I told you so.

This is a fun place!

Wow, now the coffee is under a spell!

Master!

I can draw on the rice omelet.

What would you like me to draw?

With ketchup?

Yes!

How charming!

Then, write "Yakuza" with Kanji.

No way, Dad!

Can you give me some easier characters?

- How about "Code of Conduct" with Kanji?

- Let's give it a shot!

Excuse me, my master...

It's a bit hard.

Dad, this is impossible!

What's so funny?

We've been mocked!

I've been patiently listening to your

silly talk. What the fuck is "Moe"?

Do you want me to send you to Hades?

Let's go home, Dad.

It wasn't our place to come.

They're making fun of us,

yakuza, don't you get it?

Calm down...

Sir, how can I help you?

You're in charge here?

No, sir!

Kazuki,

let's take these girls!

You girls line up!

Where did your idea of female-centric

business thing go?

Fuck it! I don't give a shit anymore.

You girls, do whatever I say!

Hurry up!

Line up!

Line up in a row!

Hurry the fuck up!

Some of the girls

would be good money if we sell them.

How about this one?

You smell good! Don't you?

All right!

Turn around and face the wall!

Face the fucking wall!

Hurry!

Stick your ass out!

Hey!

You...

Do you want to die?

Do you?

Kazuki...

Kazuki!

This isn't real.

Gun!

Somebody, bring me my gun!

Don't look back.

Don't look this way and leave the room.

No need to call the police.

Nothing has happened.

Things will be back to normal by tomorrow.

Hurry up!

I've got to call Mr. Tasaka.

It was such a mess you made!

I'm sorry.

I've got to call some support!

Anyway, just like the last time

in Shinjuku.

Let's make this look like a battle

between yakuza clans.

Sounds good!

Good. You need to fill out the form

before we get to work.

Since you're personally using the service

this time, insurance won't cover it.

If anything happens to either of us,

you will bear

all criminal responsibility. Okay?

Do you have your stamp?

- I don't have it with me now.

- Oh, you don't.

Your signature will do.

Thank you very much!

Here is the quote.

Okay.

Keep it. It serves as a receipt.

Wow! That's pricey!

No, it's not!

This is how much it costs when you

personally use the service.

As you know, extra charges arise

when cleaning up yakuzas and politicians.

I see.

- Thank you!

Excuse me but...

You know what?

When using guns,

would you not aim at the head?

I've been telling you this all the time.

Aim at heart, right?

Right. Aim at heart.

You may think we're some kind of handymen.

- But we're only human, you know.

- Yes.

So it'd be nice if you could

keep that in your mind.

I've been wanting

to tell you this for a while.

- I totally understand!

- Okay.

- I didn't mean to complain but...

- Thank you...

I don't think that being an assassin is

just a job that requires killing people.

- I mean, this is my personal opinion.

- Yes.

You two are doing this job

as professionals.

Professionals have their own way

of doing things, you know.

You said you'd take me to Disney Sea!

Dolce & Gabbana?

It must be that girl.

Fuck! She's the one.

Hey.

You're home.

Yes.

Well...

What?

I'm sorry...

about everything. My attitude,

and you know.

Don't worry about it.

Listen,

I...

I don't really fit in with society.

I don't want to fit anyway.

And I don't think I can...

I don't even think it's something

I have to face, at all, anyway.

You know why?

It's not for everyone.

It's not for me.

I don't think I have to face it.

Right, you are.

I think that's fine.

But...

Well...

From now on,

I'd like to face you, Chisato.

You're someone rather important, you know.

So...

I'm really sorry about yesterday

that I said you're wasting your time on

your part-time job or something like that.

And one more thing.

You got me the bread

but I said that's not

the true nature or whatever...

I'm really sorry for that.

I spent some time thinking

about how I would repay you.

Getting you some cake was the only idea...

Oh, this piece of cake?

Yes...

It'd be great if we could

enjoy them together.

Good job!

- You've learned how to apologize properly.

- What are you doing?

- I'm sorry for making you feel so lonely.

- I didn't feel lonely.

Let's eat the cake.

We've got two pieces!

Here you are!

All right!

Let's eat!

One moment.

Just a second.

Hello?

What?

Who's this?

The yakuza who you just killed today.

That's my father.

Are you listening?

Yes.

I just sent you where I am now.

Get your ass here right away!

What?

Why the hell am I supposed to get there?

Why don't you come here?

Anyway, how did you find out it's me?

What?

What do you mean?

The smell of Dolce & Gabbana perfume?

You freaking bitch!

What?

You're the one who started this,

so you get your ass here!

All right then, I'll get there

and kick your sweet butt!

Prepare yourself!

Mahiro...

I've got a favor to ask.

Well...

Would you help me with this?

Now?

Yes. Consider me as one

of your clients, you know.

Help me kill these yakuzas.

Make a raid on the yakuza's office?

And it's personal, right?

Are there lots of staff?

Yes! We've got a lot to kill.

Oh, yeah?

And you need my help?

Please!

- Just this one time!

- Yes!

Let me move the cake.

Cool!

Hey, you moved my gun, didn't you?

No, I didn't.

You said you change where you hide

it day by day.

Come on, I totally forgot where I hid it.

I wonder where it is.

Well...

Thank god, you're a lifesaver.

You're taking the machine gun?

I probably won't use this.

Just in case, you know.

Then, I got punched in my face...

- And they took my gun.

- Holy crap...

Then I killed his father.

She must be so furious...

You should've told me that earlier.

We'll both survive this.

Let's eat the cake after we're back home.

Hey, do you think it's okay

to park my bike here?

I guess so. It's late at night.

Are you sure?

Oh, I almost forgot my machine gun!

It was close!

Okay, let's do this!

Hey, guys!

Is Mr. Watabe here yet?

No...

Okay.

I never understood

why he works for a yakuza.

I really don't understand.

You don't have any weapons?

Yeah, it's easier to fight like this.

You guys shoot as much as you want

but never shoot me.

How dare you girls

come to a place like this?

Better go to Shibuya for shopping.

Who's this?

Who cares?

You look like you're ready to fight.

I like that kind of spirit.

Come on!

What the hell was that?

I'm glad you made it!

That's my gun! Give it back to me!

Shut up and die!

By the way, this is your brother's gun.

You're inflaming her anger.

Don't worry about it.

I brought that machine gun...

- Wait a second! I dropped it somewhere!

- Oh, come on!

She should have told me about

this crazy strong guy!

I'm burned out!

I'm so exhausted.

What the hell... He was good!

I should have brought bombs or something.

Who's this guy anyway?

Whatever. Let's ask Chisato later.

I'm screwed!

Yes!

I finally got you! Yeah!

Your water bottle is

broken.

Your drink is leaking.

Oh my gosh!

My daddy's keepsake!

Damn it!

Thank you for being so stupid!

So cool!

- Finally found you, my sweet machine gun!

- You almost shot me.

I missed you!

Hey, you're there!

How did you do it? Cakewalk?

There was this one guy

who was freaking strong.

I thought I was going to die.

Why the hell are you laughing?

You're scaring me.

Are you all right?

I don't want to get blood on my hands...

Let's get you up!

Thanks.

Let's go home.

This is mine!

Did you see how I shot that machine gun?

That was so cool!

Good for you!

You want to give it a try?

NOTICE:

ABANDONED BICYCLE REMOVED

Come on!

Let's walk home.

Let's go home.

We look like we're drunk.

Yes! We do.

Mr. Tasaka must be upset

cleaning those 24 dead bodies.

He was very sarcastic.

He even called me to complain about you.

Well, now it's a busy season

that we need support from Kansai area.

He must be pretty busy too.

It's a good thing you're

on salary until you turn 20.

You would never have saved 22 million

if there wasn't a reserved fund.

You've spent most of them anyway

for this cleaning.

I was going to buy the Batmobile

when I turn 20.

What do you buy that for?

Anyway, you two lost

your part-time job again.

You know what?

Let me get this straight.

I can't be a member of society

because I'm a sociopath.

I've learned that.

I like this job pretty much...

You're so straightforward.

I really can take it, you know.

I agree with her.

She's shy and has communication problems.

No way she can handle normal jobs.

Are you backing me up or what?

I get that. I know some people are really

into killing and can't do anything else.

Someone from Kyoto who came to me

recently was just like you.

Oh, yeah?

Why didn't you tell me that earlier?

Get a driver's license instead.

You can register as a driver at least.

Driver's license...

I don't think she can.

I'll give it a shot!

I don't want to work...

I can do it!

So about you two...

Our managers are concerned

about you guys lately.

They're saying maybe it's a bad idea

to make you two live together.

That could be the cause

of huge stress, you know.

You two could live separately

if you want to.

- Well...

- We'd like to...

Baby Assassins (2021) - full transcript