Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012) - full transcript

foodval.com - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
---
[ Cheerleaders Chanting ]
♪ A-T-T-A-C-K ♪

♪ Attack, attack, attack
Attack, attack ♪

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ Attack, attack
Attack, attack ♪

♪ ♪ [ Pop ]
[ Woman ] ♪ Movin' in on my territory ♪

♪ Stealin' my moment
All my glory ♪

♪ I'm comin' for ya
What you gonna do? ♪

♪ Ain't gon' put up with your attitude ♪

♪ Don't try and get cute
Stay outta my way ♪

♪ I'll crush you hard
Put you in a bad place ♪



♪ Bad girls rule ♪

♪ Well, you're runnin' out of time ♪

♪ I think you'd better run for your life ♪

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ Attack, attack
Attack, attack ♪

♪ Attack, attack
Attack, attack ♪

♪ ♪
[ Electronically Processed Vocalizing ]

♪ ♪
[ Vocalizing Continues ]

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ Attack, attack
Attack, attack ♪



♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ A-T-T-A-C-K
Attack, attack ♪

♪ Attack, attack
Attack, attack ♪

♪ Attack, attack ♪
[ Fades ]

[ School Bell Rings ]

[ Car Horn Honks ]

[ Barks ]

Let's go! Defense! Let's go!
[ Whistle Blows ]

Let's go, Bucs!

- If you...
- [ Screams ]

Are you all right?

Our next victim is...

Cassie Stratford?

Hi, Brittany.

Do I know you?

You were my guide for freshman orientation.
And I'm pledging Zeta Mu?

Oh! That's right.

You're the legacy.

Too bad your Zeta mommy's
not here to help you now.

This is cheer squad. If you
want it, come down and earn it.

Go get 'em!

Hit it!

Five, six, seven, eight!

One, two. Shake that ass.

Finish.

Like that?

Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

Cheer.

Two, three, spike!

Try not to hurt yourself.
[ Sighs ]

[ Exhales ]

[ Grunts ]
[ Laughing ]

Next!

Brittany, please give me another chance.
I swear, I'll do anything.

Oh, you really shouldn't
have said that.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Man On P.A. ] The physics lab
will be having a freshman mixer...

this Thursday at
6:30 at the quad.

- Hey.
- Yo-ho.

How were the tryouts?

[ Sighs ] You know that
Hindenburg footage...

where people jump to their deaths to
avoid a hell fire of burning hydrogen?

That bad, huh? Worse.

- Ah, well, screw 'em.
- You don't understand.

My mom was captain of the cheer
squad three years running...

and president of her sorority.

She has expectations.

Okay, no offense,
but screw her too.

Thank you for coming on such
short notice, Mr. Grey.

Zem-Chem poured a ton of money
into this project, Doc.

If you've made a breakthrough, I need to know
about it pronto. Just tell me one thing.

- Can it fix this?
- [ Groans ] I don't understand.

- What's the biggest problem with plastic surgery, Doc?
- Sometimes patients get lost...

Wrong! It's goddamn turkey neck!

[ Man On P.A., Indistinct ]

These middle-aged broads come
out of face-lift surgery,

and their throats still look
like my Uncle Bob's scrotum.

That's an interesting picture.

Kyle. Kyle! Cassie!

[ Clears Throat ] This is Kyle Brooks,
Cassie Stratford, my assistants.

- And this is Mr. Grey, rep from Zem-Chem.
- How are you?

He's just a kid. I know.

Well, a kid with a
master's in biochemistry.

Listen, kid. Degrees don't
mean a squatting shit to me.

Sure as hell ain't gonna get you a job.
What I want is results.

Okay, uh, well,
take a look then.

Um, just... Right over here.

This was taken three days ago,

right before we administered
the Renew compound.

- Okay, it's a rat.
- [ Kyle ] Actually, sir, it's a mouse.

Whatever. So what?
[ Squeaking ]

Are you saying Renew did this?

The compound was created to
rejuvenate aging epidermal cells,

but it's gone so beyond that.

[ Kyle ] Yeah, a-a-and here's the
really cool part. Come here.

Just one second.

Um, see, Renew is actually
morphing chromosomes.

It's aiding replication, so only the
healthiest cells undergo mitosis.

In other words, it turns ugly...

into cute.

I have one question.

- Will it work on titties?
- [ Chuckling ] Oh, we're a long way from Th...

Yes, it'll work on titties.

[ Laughing ] You're beautiful, Doc!
I love ya!

Zem-Chem's gonna piss fireworks!

That's good? Good? Good?

That's better than good! Funding for Renew
is gonna go through the goddamn roof!

- Great.
- [ Chuckling ] You know what?

This calls for a
meditative moment.

Ladies and gentlemen, how do you like your
hookers? I don't... I wouldn't think...

Come on! Let's get some champagne
up here and celebrate!

- Okay. [ Chuckling ]
- Come on!

I can't. I have another
appointment I have to go to.

You're bailing? This is what
we've been waiting for.

- This is our big moment.
- I'm so sorry. See ya later.

Uh, Cass...

[ Cassie ] Bye!

Oh. There you are.

It's Cassie, isn't it?

I'm Sondra, the
Zeta's housemother.

Let's have a seat
in the living room.

Oh! Where are my manners?
Would you like a tea?

We have a wonderful chamomile.

It's, uh... It's very soothing.

Don't go to any trouble.

No, no, it's no trouble at all,
not for Zeta's youngest sisters.

- [ Both Giggling ]
- Here, I'll just put on a fresh pot.

Be back in a minute.

Wow, she's nice.

I was afraid there was
gonna be a hazing.

[ Door Hinge Squeaks ]

The kettle's on. Shall we begin?

[ Shouting, Laughing, Faint, Echoing ]

So beautiful.

Girls, lights out.

Step inside, you dumb skanks.

I said move, bitches,

before I rip your tits off!

May God have mercy
on your souls.

[ Chicken Clucking ]
What is that?

[ Bird Squawking ]
[ Chain Saw Revving ]

I don't wanna get hurt. I
really wanna get out of here.

[ Sorority Sisters ] Here, pledgie,
pledgie. Here, pledgie, pledgie.

Here, pledgie, pledgie.
Here, pledgie, pledgie.

Here, pledgie, pledgie.
Here, pledgie, pledgie.

Welcome to Hell Month, sluts.
[ Sisters Giggling ]

Yeah. That's right.

I said Hell Month!

Most houses do a week,

but if you wanna be a
Zeta Mu, you have to earn it.

Starting tonight! Strip!

[ Sisters ] Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

[ Laughing ]
Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

We need to work on this.

And here.

[ Gagging ] Oh, my God. Gross.

Next! Strip! Strip!
Strip! Strip!

I thought I told you to strip!

Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

Strip! Strip! Strip!
Strip! Strip!

[ Growling ]
Strip! Strip! Strip!

Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!
Strip! Strip! Strip!

- [ Whimpers ]
- You're, like, perfect.

You disgust me! Get
out of my sight!

[ Whimpering, Weeping ]
Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

[ Chuckles ]

Cassie, Cassie, Cassie.

[ Brittany Gasps ]
Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!

[ Woman ] Oh! Oh, yeah!
[ Moaning ]

Yes! Yes! Yes!
[ Man Moaning ]

- [ Man ] Oh... No. Come on. Give it to me!
- [ Woman ] Don't stop!

- [ Man ] Give it to me! Yeah!
- [ Woman Moaning ]

- Oh, yeah!
- [ Man ] It's all you, baby! Ride this shit, baby!

Ride it! Yes!

Yeah! Yeah, ride it! Oh, yeah!

Take the stick, baby! It's
like a steering stick!

[ Woman ] Who's your mommy?

[ Beeping ] [ Line Ringing ]

Dear God. Cassie.
[ Woman Moaning ]

Wh-What happened to your face?

I'm fine. Just some of the
girls messing around.

Oh, thank God!

I thought you were
breaking out again.

Remember Spanish Club?
What did they call you?

Senorita Blotchy Face. Yeah.

Thanks for the memories, Mom.

Oh! Did you hear your
sister's big news?

Her squad won the city tournament.
[ Woman Continues Moaning ]

Whoo-whoo!
[ Giggles ]

So, any news on the tryouts?

Yeah. I, uh...

I made the squad.

[ Gasps ]

And you wanted to quit trying?

You remember what I said. Cheerleading
is not just for the pretty girls.

So you'll send a check for
the rest of the tuition?

Yep. You earned it.

- Go, Cassie. Go, Cassie.
- [ Woman ] Oh, don't stop!

What is that noise?

Nothing. Gorilla Weekend.
History Channel.

- Gotta go. Bye!
- No! No, no! No!

Crazy bitch! Get away from me!

- [ Man Screams ]
- It's organic!

No! I was gonna
lube it up first!

No! You're fucking crazy!
Get away from me!

Man! Somebody help me!

Oh. Hey, Cass. Hungry?

I'll pass.

Okay.

[ Sighs ]

[ Brittany's Voice, Echoing ]
What do you have that I don't?
Look at you, and look at me.

[ Cassie's Voice, Echoing ]
Senorita Blotchy Face.

[ Brittany's Voice, Echoing ]
Next! Next!

Too bad your Zeta mommy's
not here to help you now!

[ Mother's Voice, Echoing ]
Cheerleading is not just for the pretty girls.

- [ Brittany's Voice, Echoing ] Look at you, and look at me.
- [ Mother's Voice ] Dear God.

[ Brittany's Voice, Echoing ]
Cassie, Cassie, Cassie.

[ Exhales ]

[ Groans ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Door Opens ]
[ Gasps ]

[ Door Closes ]
[ Voices Chattering, Faint ]

[ Door Closes ]

[ Voices Continue Chattering, Indistinct ]

♪♪ [ Dance ]
[ Man ] Hold on to that ticket stub.

It's worth a free
soda at Jiffy Squid.

[ Snoring ]

[ Snoring Continues ]

[ Snoring Continues ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ] Jett. Jett?

Jett! Wake up!

[ Snoring ]

What is wrong with her?

♪ ♪ [ Rock ]
[ Chattering, Laughing ]

♪ ♪ [ Continues ]

Britt, you look amazing.

I do, don't I?

Holy shit.

Hi, Brittany.

How is this possible?

Uh, just a little makeover.

I know this stylist on Broadway.

A stylist? A stylist
did all this?

- What's his name?
- It's kind of a secret.

He likes to keep
exclusive clientele.

Tell me.

Tell me his name, or I'll
slice your fucking throat!

Whatever. You need to grab a leaf and start
fanning, or there'll be hell to pay.

[ Phone Ringing ]

She looks incredible.

[ Scoffs ]

Hello?

Hey, Cass. It's Kyle.

Um, listen, something weird
happened at the lab last night.

Define "weird."

[ Stammering ] I don't know.

Something broke into
Fluffy's cage...

and ripped him apart.

I mean, I am talking full-on,
like, Wolverine style.

There's nothing left
but blood and fur.

Um, can you just... Can you come over here
and help me inventory supplies, please?

I'm kind of in the middle
of something right now.

In the middle of what? A kegger at the
Zeta house? Come on. This is important.

Kyle, I'll be there in a few hours.
I promise.

You know what? Forget it.
Have fun at your party.

[ Beeps ]

Oh! Son of a bitch! Oh!
Geez. I'm so sorry.

That was in my face. Really?
I'm so sorry.

[ Laughs ] I really am.

Don't even worry about it. Never happened.
Okay? We're just gonna erase that one.

Um, who are you? Never seen
you before in my life.

I'm a freshman pledge. I've
seen you around campus.

Ah, you've seen me around campus.
Freshman pledge.

Trudy, what's up? Hey, Brandon.

Trudy. She does all
my math homework.

Looks like Brandon's
on the rebound.

Zeta pledges!

Front and center!

Here at the Zeta house,

there's nothing
more important...

than loyalty.

And what better
symbol of loyalty...

than a man's best friend?

I give you... the Zeta
canine challenge!

[ Cheering ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

Zeta Mu House
proudly presents...

the canine challenge!

[ Cackling ]

Oh! [ Laughing ]
[ Panting ]

Lap it up, you! Lap it up!
Go on now!

Drink me grog. Lap it
up until the last drop.

I know mermaids that can suck the
barnacles off my ship quicker than you.

Now lap! Come on now! Faster, will ya!
That's right!

Ooh! Loser.

Very good. You're done.
Off you go! Ha-ha-ha!

Come on, you slow poke! Make it quicker!
Come with me, my dear.

There you go, lass.
Good for you.

Good little pup y'are!
Now off you go!

[ Cackling ] Quickly. Quickly, I tell ya.

You! Come on, you slow poke!

Me paint's dryin' on me ship.
Now let's go!

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
for your viewing pleasure,

the canine slalom.

[ Cackling ] Come on, you saucy wench.
Come now.

Off you go, lass!

Have at ya! Har-har!

Weave. Bob and weave.
Bob and weave.

I'm bobbing and...

- Ooh!
- Last one, last one. Roundabout. Over here.

[ Whistles ] Here, pup.
Here, pup. Aye!

- [ Groans ]
- [ Guests Gasping, Laughing ]

Follow the line. Walk me plank, lass.
Walk me plank.

[ Laughs ] She's not lookin' so good.

[ Groaning ]
Oh! Oh!

[ Grunting ]

[ Laughing Continues ]

[ Vomiting ]

And now, the best for last.

[ Cackles ] Come on now.

Away you go! [ Cackles ] Ohh!

Oh, my! [ Laughs ]

Impressive. Ha-ha!

Shiver me timbers! Ha-ha!

Oh, my... What?

For the ball challenge. Ha-ha!

[ Guests Gasping, Shouting ]

Oh. Oh, my.

- [ Gasps ]
- [ Man ] Whoa.

[ Gasps ]

I... I got nothing else.

There you go.

[ Screams ]

[ Whistle Blowing ]

[ Shouting, Grunting ]
[ Crowd Cheering ]

I cannot believe you did that.

I don't know what came over me.

Ever since I injected the Renew,
I've felt this weird confidence.

Hey, Cass, look at those
guys checking you out.

No chance in hell, jerk-offs.
Just keep movin'.

Ohh!

Yeah, okay.

Geez, they didn't
even look my way.

Not sure I like what
we got going on here.

What did Kyle say about your
little science experiment?

- Yeah. About that...
- Are you shitting me? You haven't told him yet?

[ Cheering, Yelling ]

Cassie, this Renew stuff
turned you into a Barbie.

Overnight.

I meant to tell him, but...

I got distracted.

♪ ♪ [ Vintage Recording ]
[ Man ] ♪ If you were mine ♪

♪ Then the stars would align ♪

♪ Our hearts and minds
would sing in perfect time ♪

♪ We'd never be blue ♪

♪ If it was just me and you ♪

♪ Please tell me you do... ♪
[ Whistle Blows ]

You little slut!

Totally want that quarterback to
Shia your Le Douche, don't you?

I don't even know
what that means.

You know. Beef your burrito.

Pound your mollywog. Make the sexy time.
Okay, you can stop now.

All right.

- Just promise me you'll tell Kyle. Okay?
- Sure.

Go, go, go! Get him!

[ Grunting ]
[ Whistle Blows ]

[ Cheering ]

Oh, hey, look. It's Ryan.

[ Cheering, Shouting ]

Hi, Ryan!

How about a pickle next time?

Why does he look so scared?

What?

It might have something
to do with a cucumber.

[ Hissing ]
[ Skittering ]

[ Growling ]

[ Growling Continues ]

Hello?

Anybody there?

Hello?

- [ Blabbering ]
- [ Screams ]

[ Laughing ]
Stupid jackhole!

I almost peed myself.

Sorry, baby. I
couldn't help myself.

Well, you're gonna be helping
yourself from now on.

I hope you and your hand will be very happy
together. Tiffy, don't be like that.

We got the showers to ourselves.

I thought we could do the
sexy slip-and-slide.

- ♪ Ho-ho-ho ♪
- Oh! You smell like a hobo. Go take a shower.

And find your wallet, because
you're taking me out for lobster.

Oh, man!

So unfair!

[ Sniffs, Gasps ]

[ Hissing ]

Mac, if that's you,
I swear to God...

It's your final warning.

[ Roaring ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Screaming ]
[ Roaring ]

Everyone, thank Tiff for freaking out
over a stupid bug and twisting her ankle.

It wasn't a little bug.

It was a spider, and it was
"gibungous." Like, cow-sized.

Sure. A spider cow.

Sounds like Mac finally boinked
what's left of your brains out!

[ Laughing ]

I know what I saw.

Anyway, 'cause of
Tiff's accident,

now we have to rearrange
all of our routines.

No, you don't. I've seen all of your
routines, and I'm a really quick learner.

[ Scoffs ] You had your chance,
and you choked on a big one.

Like Tiff on prom night.

Hey! [ Scoffs ]

Anyway, we can't use you.

Bye-bye now.

[ Sighs ]

Come on, Brittany. Let's give her a chance.
Yeah, come on!

Just give her a chance. Yeah!

Yeah! She's, like,
really pretty.

[ Screams ] Fine!

[ Cheerleaders Chuckling ]

Try not to embarrass
yourself this time.

Hit it!

♪ ♪ [ Hip-hop ]

Ahh!

[ Grunts ]

♪ ♪ [ Hip-hop ]
♪ I'm a dirty girl, mm-hmm-mmm ♪

♪ I-I-I-I-I'm a dirty girl ♪

♪ Don't tell me what
you wanna do to me ♪

♪ I can give you
everything you need ♪

♪ Let me satisfy your fantasies ♪

♪ Come on, baby
Just give it to me ♪

♪ Touch me there
I-I-I-I can be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Pull my hair
I-I-I-I will be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Dirty! Dirty! It's a dirty world ♪

♪ Dirty! Dirty!
I-I-I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I-I-I'm a dirty girl
It gets better ♪

♪ Pull my hair, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there
I'll be your dirty girl ♪

[ Exhales ]
[ Cheering ]

That was so good!
[ Excited Chattering ]

Do you wanna go to the mall?

[ Screaming ]

- I made the squad!
- Okay, congratulations.

So you think your mom will
quite riding your ass now?

Mm-hmm.

- That's why you tried out, right?
- Yeah, of course.

- Mm-hmm.
- [ Man ] Is this really necessary?

Dean Willis observed my
class last semester.

It's university policy, Professor.
You know that.

What's the school afraid of?

That I'm gonna use
the "F" word...

or maybe show one of the
coeds my stimulus package?

I find your crass attempt at
humor very unprofessional.

Watch yourself, Professor White.
I'm gonna have my eye on you.

[ Mocking ]
"I'm gonna have my eye on you."

[ Thump ]
[ Groans ]

You all right? You eat a
bad burrito or something?

No. I'm fine.

Good morning, class.

We have a guest observing today...
Dean Hinkle.

[ Clicking ]
Okay, guys.

It's time to put
your phones away.

Put your phones away.

[ Snoring ]

Put your...

Please put your phones away.

[ Rumbling ]
Okay. That one hurt.

[ Groans ]
Whoa. Cass, are you okay?

So I trust everyone has read their
assignment... John Maynard Keynes.

[ Rumbling ]
[ Groaning ]

Keynes's argument that...

"Inadequate aggregate demand could lead
to extended periods of unemployment."

- Keynes also said...
- [ Fabric Rips ]

Son of a whore!
[ Students Laughing ]

Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow!

Shit! It hurts! It's like fire!
I'm blind!

What the hell is... Ow!
Ow! I'm blind!

Oh, my... Godda... Ow! Ow!

Ow! Shit! It hurts!

It stings! It burns!

Shit, it hurts! Goddamn fire!
Blind!

[ Laughing Continues ]

Jesus Christ!

Someone's in big trouble!
I am so...

Thank God this lecture
wasn't televised.

Why me, God? Why not
one of the students?

Why me?

It's clear. Cass,
Kyle's not around.

Come on.

[ Grunting ]
I got you. I got you.

Oh, God.

You're okay? Okay, take a seat.

Oh, God.

Cass, we really need
to get you some help.

No, I'm fine. I'm...
[ Rumbling ]

- [ Groaning ]
- [ Rumbling ]

Okay, no, you're not.

[ Fabric Ripping ]
[ Groans ]

Hey, guys. What's up?

Hey, Kyle.

Kyle, let me explain.

Shit a brick. Are
you kidding me?

Explain what? You took an experimental
compound to impress some pom-pom-waving twits?

You should be happy. Renew
works better than we imagined.

There's just one
tiny side effect.

Tiny? I-I wouldn't call this "tiny," Cass.
You're a she-hulk.

- Don't forget the tennis ball.
- Oh, yeah.

I can jump really high, and I'm
kind of a cheerleading stud.

Okay, I'm calling Dr. Higgs. We're gonna see
if we can flush the Renew from your system.

No! Yes.

No! I don't want it
out of my system.

Um, Cass?

I think, uh, Superdork
might be right here.

You have no idea what
that's doing to your body.

I don't care. I've been homely,
forgettable Cassie my entire life.

Now people notice
me, and I like it.

Uh...

- Where are you going?
- I need a bigger uniform.

[ Woman ] ♪ Wanna be ♪

♪ Hangin' with the it crowd ♪

♪ A limousine ♪

♪ To take you to a club downtown ♪

♪ I'll put you down
Make it you plus three ♪

♪ You could be with the
bes and the wannabes ♪

♪ Yeah ♪
[ No Audible Dialogue ]

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ You wanna party with the "A" list ♪

[ Chanting ] Defense! Defense!

♪ Legendary like Elvis Let's!
Hold! That! Line! ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ Do you wanna shine
just like a celebrity? ♪

♪ Flashing lights ♪

♪ From the paparazzi ♪

[ Whistle Blows ]
♪ And be who you wanna be ♪

♪ You wanna party with the "A" list ♪

[ Chanting ] Let's go! Let's go!
♪ Legendary like Elvis ♪

[ Shutter Clicking ]
♪ You wanna party with the "A" list ♪

[ Chanting ] We're here
to beat the Panthers!

♪ ♪ [ Continues ]
We're here to beat the Panthers!

We're here to beat the Panthers!

♪ ♪ [ Continues ]

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ You could be with the bes ♪

Let's go!
♪ And the wannabes ♪

♪ You wanna party with the "A" list ♪
Let's go, defense! Let's go!

♪ You wanna party ♪

♪ With the "A" list ♪

See ya at practice.

[ Cackling ]
See ya, Cassie!

Oop! Got your hat!

[ Cheerleaders Chattering ]

[ Pirate Grumbling ]
Hey. Cass.

What's going on? You
haven't answered my calls.

I've been busy. Yeah, well,
so has your pituitary gland.

Okay? It looks like Renew has accelerated
the production of your growth hormones.

Which explains the increased
vitality and dexterity.

I don't wanna talk
about this right now.

Oh. Okay. Well, let's talk,
uh, possible side effects.

Like liver failure
or cardiac arrest.

I feel fine. I feel
better than fine.

I feel freakin' awesome.
But for how long?

Come on, Cass, be reasonable.

At least let us monitor
your condition...

before all this pom-pomming
sucks your I.Q. dry.

What'd you say? You heard me.

The Cass I knew was a scientist.

Now you're throwing all that away
to be some bimbo cheerleader.

I happen to like cheerleading.
[ Sighs ]

Okay. You know what? Fine.

I'm going back to the lab.

Hey! Hey.

Is that, uh... That little guy.

Is he, uh... Is he bothering you?
Not anymore.

All right. 'Cause, uh,
I'll kick his ass.

All right? Just for you. No problem.
Free of charge.

I mean, not that, you know, you need my help.
Could probably squash that guy like a bug.

Are you making fun of me? Oh, no, no.
I'm a big fan of the new look.

Read all about it
in the State Press.

Something about a... weird family
growth spurt thing, like, genetic...

Something like that.

Gotcha.

Um, saw the picture of your
mom, though, at the Zeta house.

How come she isn't... tall?

It skips a generation.
Too bad for her.

'Cause this... whole thing...

is, uh...

You look good.

Thanks.

Um, you gonna do the... You're
doing the fun run, right?

Me and the other pledges.

Cool. Well, uh,
I'll see you there.

And maybe we could, uh,

hang out or something.

[ Mascot ] Oww!

See you later.Okay.

[ Laughing ]

Dude, you are a freak!

She is like a mountain!

[ Exhales ]
Yeah.

A sexy...

sexy mountain.

Yes, she is mountainous.

And I am gonna climb that
shit like Mount Everest.

Kilimanjaro that shit!

[ Chuckles ]

Get the pack ready.
[ Sniffs ]

Oh, I've got it.

Think we need 0-2 on this one.

[ Sniffs ]

♪ ♪ [ Loudspeaker: Dance Pop ]
[ Chattering, Laughing ]

[ Screams ] ♪ ♪ [ Stops ]

[ Chattering Subsides ]

Welcome to the 12th
annual Undie Fun Run!

Remember, all proceeds benefit
testicular cancer research.

So screw you, cancer! Keep
your hands off our balls!

[ Cheering, Applauding ]

The race will begin momentarily.

But first... [ Giggles ]

Zeta Hell Month is almost over.

[ All Giggling ]
Aww!

To celebrate,

we thought the
pledges deserved...

a little treat.

And don't forget the whipped cream.
[ All Laughing ]

[ Brittany ] Hose 'em down, girls.

[ Laughing, Squealing ]

Okay. That's enough. Hmph!

We want to make sure that the
pledges have plenty of fluids...

during the race.

You need to kill this
before the end of the run,

or you aren't a Zeta Mu.

But I'm too young to die.

Yeah, me too.

I can't fit that in my mouth.

I don't know, Britt.
That's a big bottle.

It's not safe.

[ Scoffs ]

Every... last... drop,

or you aren't a Zeta Mu.

Make your choice.

The race is about to start.
[ Kisses ]

[ Exhales ]
[ Man ] All right. All right.

[ Coughing ]

[ Mock Coughing, Gagging ]

[ Groans ]

Screw it.

[ Onlookers Gasping ]

[ Gulping ]

[ Onlookers Gasping ]Yes!

[ Exhales ] Is that what you want?

See? That's what I'm
talkin' about!

That's what I'm talkin' about!

Right there! There it is!

What do you think you're doing?

I'm sick of being your bitch so
you can feel a few inches taller.

But Hell Month is almost over.

No one ever quits Zeta Mu!

Watch me.
[ Onlookers Gasping ]

[ Microphone Feedback ]

Run, bitches!

[ Shouting, Laughing ]

Let's get out of here, man!

[ Chattering, Indistinct ]

Hey! Cassie.

That was awesome!

[ Laughs ]
Where did that even come from?

[ Rumbling ]
Like, you were... What's wrong?

Are you all right?
[ Groaning ]

[ Coughing ]
Hey. Talk to me...

Oh, whoa.

I think I might hurl.

And this is not helping.

You know what? Um, I
just had a great idea.

My room is, like, right down the...
You know, over there.

And you can, uh, shower and...

- You wanna get me out of these wet clothes, don't you?
- What? [ Stammers ]

No. I mean, I just want you to be, you
know, clean and everything and...

Yes, I want you out of those clothes.
Shut up.

I didn't know you were
this type of girl.

[ Scoffs ] Neither did I.

Kinda used to being the
one in control here.

[ Both Moaning ]

[ Groans ]
[ Rumbling ]

Okay, okay. When I said "take charge"
this is not what I was talking about!

Not... You're getting bigger!

Why are you getting bigger?

Oh, shit! What the fu...
What is that?

[ Growling ]
[ Groaning ]

Is that... That's
a fucking spider.

Is that a giant spider? That's
a fucking giant spider.

That's a fucking...
giant... spider!

Brandon!

You're a big girl now, Cassie.
You're on your own!

Ah! Shit!
[ Growling ]

Oh!
[ Growling ]

[ Whimpers ]
[ Growls ]

Thank you. Thanks.
Appreciate it.

Uh, all right. Now, take care!

It's nice playing with you.
You look great!

[ Yawns ]

[ Groans ]

♪ ♪
[ Whistles ]

[ Shuddering ]

Ooh, hot.

[ Spits ]

[ Scoffs ] Son of a...

Sorry. Uh...

It's okay. It's not like you
just spat hot coffee in my eye.

Wait. Yes, you did.

I... Th-Th... This is okay.

Uh, we can... Yeah. We can fix this.
No problemo.

Really? I look like slutty Statue of
Liberty, and you say "no problemo?"

Okay. You know, I could've said,

"Oh, dear God. You're
a ginormous freak."

[ Sighs ] I'm sorry, Kyle.

About everything. I just...
I just wanted to be pretty.

[ Sighs ] I know, it's...

It's okay, Cass. All right?
We'll do what we can.

I'll call Dr. Higgs.
We'll figure this out.

You better make that call quick.
We've got a mess to clean up.

Hey. Hey. No! Stop. Stop it!

Stop foolin' around. Stop.

Okay? Let's just go. Please.

[ Higgs ] Where is she?
She's in the pool?

Yes, but listen. The Renew has
sped up quite... quite a bit.

And she's growing a lot faster
than I anticipated. So...

Well, how much? I'm not sure
of the calculation, but...

How you doin'?

What the...

I think my aorta just
crapped its pants.

You grew again?

[ Chuckles ] My little
piggies look like fat hogs.

The Renew compound must
have altered my hypothesis.

Yes, uh, resulting in
extreme gigantism.

It's truly amazing.

Be amazed from over there, Dr.
Feelgood.

Oh. Okay. I'm sorry, Doc.

The Renew compound must be making
me more spontaneously aggressive.

Yes, uh, among other
side effects.

How is that counteractive
agent coming along?

You're working on the antidote?

Well, yeah. Once the Renew
started showing adverse effects,

I-I hit the lab, but...

[ Sighs ] It's not
goin' so well, Cass.

I mean, once the Renew roots itself
in your cells, it digs in deep.

So what do we do?

Okay, okay. Look.

I'm gonna call Zem-Chem.

Because they're the only ones
with enough resources to help us.

But in the meantime, you
hide her a little better.

Uh... There's eyes everywhere.
Yeah.

Well, what do you... Hide?

I have nothing to wear.

Okay. Uh, I have an idea. But
I'm gonna need your help.

Fine. But no peeking.

Oh, right.

[ Chattering ]

Okay. Okay. We're good. Come on.

What do you think? Looks
like your size, right?

Hey. Eyes front, boy genius.

Sorry. Sorry.

[ Birds Flutter ]

What do you think?

Perfect. Come on.

♪ ♪ [ Pop ]

[ Sighs ] You are not short.

The rest of the world is
just freakishly tall.

[ Sighs ]

[ Snaps Elastic ]

[ Screams ]

Hey, sweetie, it's me!

- What the hell, Brandon?
- Calm down, okay?

[ Slurring ] I need to talk to somebody.

All right. So, I'm with Cassie,

and there's this spider,
and she starts growing.
[ Sighs ]

Like, growing. She gets huge!

And I ran and then I passed out.

And... Oh, God. I think I'm...
I think I'm gonna puke.

[ Groans ]

- I'm gonna puke.
- Oh, my God. Gross!

[ Gags ]

Oh, no, I'm okay.

[ Growls ]

Oh, my God.

It was terrifying. Okay?
This spider had these fangs.

Okay. these fangs were like...
were like... [ Shouts ]

And it like... It was all, like...
[ Hisses ]

And I was, like, freakin' out!

And she's gettin' huge and I just ran.
And I passed out.

I have no idea what happened!
[ Whimpering ]

Enough about the spider.
Tell me more about Cassie.

[ Panting ]

[ Whimpering ]

[ Laughs ] Arr.

I see you, Buccaneers!
Let's get 'em, mates.

It's game day. And the stage is
set for a homecoming brawl...

between Iron Coast University
and their rivals, the Panthers.

Hmm. With two undefeated
records on the line,

anything can happen.

This is Sophia Long reporting.

Hey!

Oh, really, dudes? Just stop it.

Get out of here. Sh... We're
gonna have to do it over.

Okay.

All right.

- Uh.
- [ Man On Radio ] Attention, 214 in progress.

Two students in hot water
at the Agua Caliente. Hey.

[ Coughs ]
What's going on here?

Oh, uh, didn't Animal
Control call you guys?

Yeah, a pack of, um, giant
pygmy howler monkeys...

They, uh, escaped from the lab.

They infested the
whole gymnasium.

[ Sniffs ]

Really. Nobody told me about it.

I better take a check. Oh...
Okay. Hang on a second.

If you're gonna go in
there, you might...

wanna wear this.

What for?

Well, two words, okay?
Explosive diarrhea.

Yeah. Some laxative company. We're
using the monkeys as test subjects.

Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. It's
like a poop apocalypse in there.

[ Man On Radio ] Spotting of a very
unusually, extremely large woman...

I don't need no monkey shit today.
I'll tell you what.

Tell Animal Control I was here.

Okay? Yeah. You got it. Will do.

I'll just... I'll lock... lock this up.
Take care.

All units, there has been a spotting of
a very large woman in the quad area.

Please investigate.

Ah, okay. They won't be
buggin' us anytime soon.

What's up?

I'm not sure.

But I think your
antidote may be working.

Check out these G.H. levels.
Okay, inside voice. Please.

[ Typing ]

No. I can't tell.

Okay. Let's take another sample.

[ Explodes ]
[ Groans ]

[ Coughs ] Oh, God.
[ Cassie Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ]
Oh, you think that's funny?

Maybe. Huh? That's
really funny, isn't it?

Yeah.Yeah. You think it's funny?

[ Smashes ]

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Sure, you are.

[ Sighs ] What are you doin' here?

I thought my roomie could
use some non-nerd company.

What's up, big mama?

Nothing much. Just growing
into a gigantic mutant.

You?

Better than you.
[ Thud ]

Son of a...
[ Giggles ]

That keeps happening.

Hey, Cass. Check this out.
You're right.

The spider's G.H. levels
are getting lower.

What's that?

It's an artificial antibody.

Hopefully, it'll target the
altered cells like an antigen.

And disable the Renew compound.
Will it work?

I don't know. Let's find out.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sniffs ]
Should something be happening now?

[ Sighs ]

Look, um, I'm sorry.

Whoa, uh, guys, guys you
kind of want to see this.

[ Exhales ] Whoo!

Oh, yeah! Who rocks, huh? Me.

You rock, Kyle. You rock.

Where are you going?

Back to the lab. I got
more antibodies there.

You know, he's kind of cute in
a nerdy, puppy kind of way.

You noticed that too, huh?

Yeah.

It's a shame he'd have to go spelunking
to have sex with you though.

Hmm!

♪ ♪ [ Rock ]

[ Sizzling ]

What are you doing? Blending in.
What's it look like?

Want a dog? No.

Listen. I thought Zem-Chem was
sending specialists to help Cass.

They did.

Disguises were my idea.

Now they can run all over campus and
everybody will think they're just big fans.

Look. I was expecting medical
professionals and scientists.

Who are those guys? Zem-Chem security.
Ex-military mostly.

Nice fellas... once
you get to know 'em.

Listen. This is not necessary.

Cassie is not a
threat to anybody.

Oh, really? Yeah!

Really? A 50-foot cheerleader
with superhuman strength.

She's a naive grad student.

You know, I'm so glad
you cleared that up.

Let's roll, boys.
This isn't right.

Listen, you eggheaded pussy.

There is no right or wrong,
just profit and loss.

And right now, your freaky cheerleader
has profit written all over...

her perfect, gigantic ass.

So she's goin' with us one way or the other.
[ Wheezing ]

Now, get in the goddamn van!
Okay.

[ Groans ]

- Shotgun.
- [ Security Guard #1 ] Okay.

- I'll just walk.
- [ Security Guard #2 ] In the van.

Or get in the van.

♪ ♪ [ Rock ]

Uh...

You're that, um,
cheerleader, right?

Shouldn't you be getting
ready for the game?

I am getting ready for the game.

You see, the cheer squad
has this tradition.

[ Chuckles ]

Before every homecoming game,
we pick one lucky guy...

and we strip for him.

Um, you do what now?

[ Chuckles ]

Guess who we picked.

Listen, no. You can't...
You can't do that here.

Mmm.
[ Giggles ]

[ Coughs ]

If you want me to leave,
you need to manhandle me.

Please. Just... I don't
have time for this.

Go away.
[ Giggles ]

[ Moans ]

Is that the stuff that
made Cassie beautiful?

[ Sighs ]
What did you say?

Come on. You can tell me.
Is that the stuff?

Just, please. Just go, okay?
Please.

All right? Leave. Right now.
Make me!

Oh!
[ Screams ]

Uh...

Listen. Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.

It's just...
[ Screaming ]

Just stop yell... Uh... Shit.

[ Screaming ]

Oh, Brittany! Brittany, come on!

[ Screams ] Oh, my babies! Stop, please!

Hey! Brittany!

Excuse me. Hey.
[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Sighs ] Oh, shoot.

That's not good.

[ Sighs ] Excuse me. Excuse me. Watch out.

So. Wanna tell me
what's bothering you?

What are you talkin' about?

Well, Kyle found a way to
make you normal again.

Shouldn't you be doing, like,
big-ass cartwheels or something?

Maybe I don't want to be normal.

So, you'd rather be
Gigantor the sex bitch?

No, I just don't want to be me.

In case you didn't
notice, being me sucked.

[ Skype Beeping ]

Cass, your mom's
Skyping you again.

You have to talk
to her sometime.

Fine, but adjust the camera. She'll
crap puppies if she sees me like this.

Okay.

[ Beeping ]

Ready? Yep.
[ Sighs ]

Cassie? It's me, mom.

But you're so... pretty.

That's some great
parenting, Mom.

I'm your mother. I'm supposed
to say you look pretty.

But this time, I really mean it.
You look beautiful.

I found a good
stylist near campus.

Better than good. This
guy's a miracle worker.

[ Mouthing Words ] I mean, I've had
my stellar work in the past also,

but look what they had to work with.
Okay, Mom.

I mean, you... You could say that Rome
wasn't built in a day in your case.

Okay, Mom. Wow, really.

This guy should get a
Nobel Prize or something.

Okay. We're done here.

Oh, but I haven't told
you my good news yet.

I'm coming to homecoming.
Isn't that great?

I'm overcome with joy.

My daughter makes the cheer
squad, and now this?

I couldn't not come!

I'll see you on the field!
Whoop, whoop!

Bye, honey. Mwah, mwah.

Whoop, whoop.

Wow.

It's like life is taking a
steaming pee on my birthday cake.

Would ice cream help?

Twenty gallons, mint
chocolate chip.

All right, well, that's
gonna take a few trips.

I'll be back.

[ Tires Screech ]

Cassie? Cass!

Cassie! Cass, get out of here!

Mr. Grey, what is this?

Taking you to remote
installation, Miss Stratford.

So we can run some tests.

I hate to admit this, but that outfit
is giving me just a tiny little chubby.

Ew.

Hey, Jett, Cassie. You guys all right?
Dr. Higgs, what's going on?

It's okay. Cassie, Zem-Chem has

the resources to help you!
We don't.

If they're trying to help me,
then why are they armed?

There's no need for concern.

They're only Tasers for
our own protection.

Protection from what?

We're afraid that the Renew might
compromise your mental stability.

Your wardrobe, for example.
Come on.

You know what? That's it. I'm
calling the F.D.A. or something.

Why don't you set your phone
to "shut the fuck up?"

[ Electrical Zapping ]
[ Grunts ]

Kyle!

[ Grey ] Okay, that's it.

No more screwin' around!

[ Groaning ]
Bring me the big boy!

[ Coughs ]

You're goin' with us, girlie,
or you're eatin' 500,000 volts!

Cassie, they will lock you
up like a lab rat. Run!

Don't do it.

Son of a bitch!

That is one hell of a stride!

Look at ya. You could
have had it all.

You could have been swimming in
money and drowning in hookers.

But no. You threw it all away.

And for what?
[ Sighs ]

[ Car Door Opens ]
[ Sighs ]

Tough luck, kid.

By now, her vagina's a
frickin' echo chamber.

You're just gonna be
yodeling in the canyon.

[ Yodel Echoes ]

Let's get crackin', Doc.

Huh?

College kids.

[ Tires Screech ]

Come with me. You. Got it.

Cover me.
[ Loud Footsteps Approach ]

Where are you gonna
hide, Cassie?

You're 50 feet tall, and we
got eyeballs everywhere.

I will not be Zem-Chem's
science experiment.

Well, you should have thought of that
before you injected company property...

up your ass!

Capisce? Huh?

[ Electrical Zapping ]
Ow.

[ Sighs, Growls ]

[ Grunts ]

You know, if you want
something done right...

[ Beeps, Whirring ]

[ Growls ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

All right. Get the
winches hooked up.

We gotta get her outta sight.

But first... somebody
take my picture.

No, wait. Wait. Hold on.
One more for safety.

[ Clicks ]

♪ ♪ [ Classical ]

Hi. Uh, is Britt here?

Uh, I'm afraid Miss
Andrews is upstairs.

- Ah.
- Young man.

[ Sighs ] Follow me.

Okay.

♪ ♪ [ Classical Continues ]

You know, of course, that no...
lewd conduct...

is allowed in this house.

'Course. Yes, ma'am.

So, I expect you to be
on your best behavior.

Because if your crank sees
the light of day in there,

I will cut it off with
a rusty pipe wrench.

[ Chuckles ]

Tea?

No, thank you. No, no.
I'm... I'm good.

Hmm.
[ Teacup Clatters ]

[ Gasping ]

Okay. Ooh, calm down.

You can do this!
[ Gasping ]

One, two...

[ Brandon ] Britt!

[ Shrieks ]

Britt, are you in there?
[ Groans ]

[ Gasping, Screams ]

[ Gasps ]

What is... What... Are you, like,
waxing your pubes or something?

No, you idiot!

[ Gasping ]
What's goin' on in there?

Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

[ Growling ]
[ Rumbling ]

[ Growling ]

Okay. Uh, you know what?
Something crazy just happened.

Coach just called me. I gotta
be at the practice field.

- So I'm gonna... I'm gonna see you later.
- [ Growls ]

Promise.

You're not going anywhere.

Huh?

[ Kyle ] Cass!

Cass, you all right?
Hands off, creep.

She's gonna be fine.
Vitals are very strong.

You sold her out,
you piece of shit.

Oh, I wouldn't be too
hard on him, kid.

Zem-Chem can't afford another
company finding her.

They get Cassie's
blood, they get Renew.

Well, so what are you gonna do?
You gonna sneak her out?

It's homecoming. There's
thousands of witnesses.

Who said anything
about sneaking?

We're flying her out
in plain sight.

[ Rumbling In Distance ]

[ Brittany Moaning, Gasping ]

Oh, God!

You're hurting me. You're hurting me!
Oh, God!

Oh, God. Oh, God!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

You're hurting me!

Crushing me!

Oh, God! Oh, God!
[ Screams ]

[ Shouts ]

Get off me! You're crushing me!

You bitch! Get off me!

Oh, shit!
[ Panting ]

Fucking huge bitch. Fuck!

[ Moans ] Oh, my God!

[ Screams ] Help! Help! Fuckin'...

Shit!

I'm so sorry! Brandon, no!
Sweetie!

[ Screams ]

You're gonna fly her out on a blimp?
You're crazy.

No. Believing a woman can grow into
a 50-foot giant... that's crazy.

We are floating
over the stadium...

with Zem-Chem
Pharmaceutical's new mascot.

A 50-foot plastic cheerleader.

What about Cass stomping all over campus?
People had to see her.

Eh, it's a special effect.

Hologram or some shit.

Part of a publicity stunt
to promote Zem-Chem.

Listen to me, kid.
Look around ya.

Your peers have got their noses buried
so deep into their smartphones,

I could stage this year's
cheer-palooza with a hundred Cassies.

And unless it's on this,

your peeps just don't care.

[ Yodel Echoes ]

[ Echo Continues ]

No. I don't believe that.

Well, you better
believe it, buster.

Because it's simple and logical.

And most people are
frickin' morons...

who will believe anything
the Internet will tell 'em.

Okay, boys. Let's bag
this big, bad Barbie up.

Take these two to the lab.
Do a clean sweep.

Cass, I'll be back for you.
I promise, okay?

- [ Jett ] What is it with you guys? Geez!
- [ Kyle ] Cass, I'll be back!

No, he won't.

You're on your own now, kid.

But, hey, that's what you came
to college for, isn't it?

[ Growls ]

[ Cheering ] [ Announcer ]
All right, Buccaneer fans.

On your feet as we
get ready to rumble.

[ Indistinct ]

Let's show these Panther fans what
it's like to take on a Buccaneer.

Whoo!

Thanks, sugar.

Oh, Brenda, girl.
You look fantastic.

Hello. Well, you know my motto.

Zeta Mus never get old. We just
get better plastic surgeons.

Whoo! Go, Bucs!

Whoo, whoo!

Ooh, hmm. Why, hey, there, chocolate
thunder. Wanna go down under?

Mm-mmm.

Just you get over there.
[ Barks ]

Oh, what a lovely school.

I am so glad you made it.

You know I never miss
a homecoming game.

Well, sure. But we thought you
were gonna skip this year...

after we heard what
happened to Cassie.

What happened to Cassie?

You don't know? No.

Oh, honey. My daughter said Cassie
quit the Zetas a week ago...

and hasn't been to
cheerleading camp since.

Oh, really, Candy?

If that's true, heads
are gonna roll.

How could she do this to me?

[ Sighs ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Beeping ]

Dude, we can not let those
douche bags take Cassie.

Well, I know. We won't, okay?
Check it out.

It's for elephants. I'm gonna
inject her with the antidote.

I thought you said it
needed more testing.

Well, we don't have
any time, okay?

[ Cheering ]

[ Girl ] Ashley, I got you one.

That's what I call a red dress.

[ Chattering ]

Oh, this is great. Hey,
what's up, Brandon?

I remembered my robe.

Guys, guys...

[ Chattering ]
[ Girl ] Has Brittany put on weight?

[ Man ] What? Call the cops!

[ Man #2 ] Holy shit!
[ Screaming ]

Really?

Hey, Brit. You know, lookin' tall...
good. Really good.

[ Growls ]Listen.

All right. In the heat of the
moment, I said some things.

I think you may have
misunderstood 'em a little.

You called me a freak!

In a good way! Like, "What's
up, you sexy freak?"

You know, like... Come on!

[ Growls ]
We're good.

And you, the times,
memories there.

[ Sighs, Growls ]

You need to take
it easy right now!

Ah, there you go, babe. Have a beer.
Have a beer!

There you go. Relax.

[ Burps ]

Hey, how about this?

He gets up on the
podium and he says, um,

I've synthesized metabolic acids,
I've reengineered cell walls.

- But I forgot to...
- But you forgot to extrapolate the data.

You heard it before?

All right. Um...

Uh, you distract Cassie.
I'll inject her.Okay.

And then take out Dr. Higgs. Okay, good.
'Cause I really wanna hit him.

Good.Okay. Let's go.

All right.

Maybe bein' big won't be so bad.

I mean, after all, you won't
have to look for skirts anymore.

You can just use a tent.
[ Laughs ]

Oh, oh. Listen. There's no
need for violence. Okay?

Jett.Ow.

Aah!

How about this?

We'll find you a guy. We could advertise
in Large and Tall Women Weekly.

[ Jett, Indistinct ]

Or not.

You wanna suck some volts?

Didn't think so.

[ Coughs ]

Hey, stop it!

He... Oh.

Oh, no. No! Cassie, no!

[ Groans ]

Oh, this stinks.

Better late than never.

Let me give you a
hand there, Superman.

Getting kicked in the stomach
is highly overrated.

Oh, Kyle, are you okay?

I'm great too.
Thanks for asking.

Oh, oh. Hey, hey. Cass, wait.
Wait. Don't do that.

Okay? Listen to me. I'll
inject you with the antidote.

You'll shrink back to normal size,
you'll slip right out of those.

Yeah. I'll help.

Or not.

No. I don't want it.

Don't you get it? Grey is just afraid
you're going to go to a rival company.

All right? If we eradicate
Renew from your cells,

he'll leave you alone.

I heard about
Brittany's rampage.

Renew made me more aggressive.

But in her, it'll pump the
bitch factor way past 11.

No way Zem-Chem's
men can stop that.

[ Inhales ] But I can.

[ Beeping ]

We're moments away from kickoff here
at Iron Coast University Stadium.

As you can see, fans are
streaming into this Ga...

[ Laughing ]
Oh, come on. Again?

This is network television,
you stupid ho-bags!

Oh, whatcha got, man?

Whoa.

God! We're gonna...

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

[ Chattering, Screaming ]

[ Blows Raspberry, Laughs ]

Ooh.

So help me, Bob, if
you're not getting this,

I'll turn your nutsack
into a coin purse.

I'm gettin' it. I'm gettin' it.

Do you have a statement? Is
there anything you wanna say?

Uh...

[ Laughing ]
Oh, my God.

[ Kisses ]

Let's go! Go!

Get outta here!

[ People Screaming ]

Okay, "chicka." Playtime's over.

You're comin' with us. And
who are you supposed to be?

We're the only guys
who can help you.

We're also the guys who
can cut you down to size.

So what's it gonna be, "sistah?"

[ Scoffs, Sighs ]

I've never missed a game, and
I'm not about to start now.

[ Gasps ]

[ Whirs ]

[ Laughs ]

Can we talk?

[ Honks ]

[ Panting ]
Whoa!

You think they scared her off?
Oh, God. Did she kill him?

[ Groans ] Lower.

No. He's breathing.

Wow. All right. Well,
where is she, then?

[ Cheering ] ♪ ♪ [ Drum Line ]

[ Announcer ]
And now, the I.C.U. Buccaneer majorettes.

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering Stops ]

Holy Toledo. Is that
a giant cheerleader?

Oh, my God. Ready or not, this
announcer did not see that coming.

And I've seen a lot,
thank you very much.

- But this one takes the cake.
- [ Growls ]

That felt like an earthquake.
Holy smokes.

[ Brittany ] Come on, you guys.
Where's your spirit?

Let's do the wave. Whee!

[ Chattering ]

I got spirit, yes, I do! I got spirit!
How about you?

Whoo! I.C.U.!

Number one!
[ Laughs ]

Come on, you guys. Don't
you want to see me cheer?

My name is Brittany.
Don't mess with me.

I run Zeta Mu. I'm
the queen of I.C.U.!

[ Screams ]

You guys are so lame! Aah!

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Announcer ] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What is this?

[ Gasps ] A second supersized cheerleader?

The football game... Brittany!

has taken a giant turn into W.W.F.
territory.

You've been up my butt since the
day we met. What did I do to you?

You were the nerdy little science
girl, but that wasn't enough.

[ Announcer ]
Well, if you're leaving now, fans,

you are going to miss the knock-down,
drag-out of the century.

[ Grunting ]

Bitchslap.

Counter-bitchslap.

Bitchslap. Counter-bitchslap.

[ Groans ]

That was a low blow.

Oh, right to the gut.
Oh, that hurt.

[ Gasps ]

No, that was a low blow.

[ Gasps ]

[ Grunting ]

These cheerleaders have
it in for each other.

You gotta step into my world.

[ Groans ]

[ Announcer ] What ever has
come between these two...

surely must be better than
today's halftime show.

Only one of these giants
is going home today.

There's a right. And left.

Oh, that's gonna leave a mark.

She's sitting on her face.
Yahoo!

[ Gasps ]

[ Laughing ]

You can't make this stuff up.

[ Announcer Continues, Indistinct ]
[ Growls ]

[ Laughing ]

Oh! Excuse me. Watch it.

Sorry. Look out.

Okay. Are you gonna use
that thing or not?

[ Beeps ]

[ Screams ]

Oh, the classic headbutt.

These two titanic titans will know the
meaning of a migraine after that one!

[ All ] Ohh! Look at that.

You should've stuck to being
homely little Cassie!

Even though you're taller,
you're still a little bitch.

[ Announcer ] A shot to the breasts?

They didn't teach me this in
sportscasting class, that's for sure.

That was a backflip.

Looks like a kick.

Oh, and she's down
for the count.

Oh, my God.

[ Laughing ]

Look at the look on her face.
That is the sign of a winner.

You've got to want
it here today.

Is that her mother?
I believe so.

What's she gonna say?
You're a big girl now?

How did this happen?

I did it for you, Mom. I was just
trying to meet your expectations.

You know I've always wanted the best
for you, don't you? You know that.

No. You wanted me to
be more like you.

But I forgive you.

The truth is, I should've
stood up for myself more.

[ Groaning ]

[ Growling ]

That girl's not down. She's getting up.
And up. And up!

- That girl's growing faster than the I.C.U. tuition!
- Oh, God.

The extra Renew's kicking in.

Better look out, Cassie. You
go kick some butt, honey.

[ Announcer ] Oh, and once again,
hold onto that ticket stub.

It's worth a free
soda at Jiffy Squid.

Okay.
[ Beeps ]

Excelsior, beeyotch! Oh, God.

[ Groans ]

Yes! You did it!
[ Chuckles ]

- Nice.
- [ Announcer ] Electrifying!

[ Announcer ] All right. Looks like
she pulled it out of her butt.

- Hey, Cass!
- I'm gonna stomp you like a cockroach.

[ Announcer ] Oh, me, oh, my.
Look at this.

[ Gasps ] She looks like she's got a syringe.

She's comin' at her.

Oh, right in the
gluteus Maximus.

[ Groans ]

[ Growls ]

Stay down.

[ Announcer ] One more time.
What is going to happen now?

Hiyah! Yes, it is. That
is a scorpion kick.

- Yeah!
- [ Shouting ]

Nice! Whoo! Whoo!

[ Announcer ] We have a winner!
[ Panting ]

- [ Kyle ] Way to go.
- [ Jett ] You got it, Cass!

Hey, nice kick.

[ Gasps, Giggles ]

I wanna say something.

Whoop, whoop!

Thanks, Mom.

Okay.
[ Chuckles ]

Hey, guys. Check it out.

[ Groaning ]

Looks like your
antibodies worked.

I guess it'll take a while
to whip up another batch.

Well, it's a good
thing I have these.

[ Chuckles ]

Now, you are aware this will
reverse all the Renew effects?

That's okay. I think I
like the old me better.

[ Chuckles ] Didn't I tell you
she was a great cheerleader?

[ Sighs ]

Sorry.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

You've never looked better.

Mm-hmm.

Wait. What's wrong?

I think we might have messed up the
dosage of antibodies we gave Brittany.

I'm sure it's fine. Yeah?

Uh, guys? I'm pretty
sure it's not fine.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, my God. Is she?

- It's moving.
- Brittany?

Brittany? Are you okay?

Is she in there? She's moving.
I don't wanna...

Oh, my gosh.

Ew.Scary.

Should we help her? It is Brittany.
Hey, Brittany.

[ Together ] Brittany, stand up.

I am standing up!

[ All Laughing ]

Didn't you come
with my Happy Meal?

You're not Snow White anymore.
Now you're one of the dwarves.

[ Laughing ]

No!

[ Screams ]

[ Girl ] You're just too much, boy.

Let's do this.

♪ Touch me there
I-I-I-I can be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Pull my hair
I-I-I-I will be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Dirty! Dirty!
It's a dirty world ♪

♪ Dirty! Dirty!
I-I-I-I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Pull my hair, dirty! ♪

♪ It's a dirty world ♪

♪ Touch me there I'll be your dirty girl
Dirty! Dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be a dirty girl ♪

♪ Now that I made all of your dreams come true
Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Let me show you what we're gonna do
Here's what I want for you ♪

♪ You will obey me when I tell you to ♪

♪ Shut up, baby
Let me give it to you ♪

♪ Surprise me
When you take off my shirt ♪

♪ You're inside me
When you reach up my skirt ♪

♪ Leave me be
Don't make me wait no more ♪

♪ Just take me now and
I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there
I-I-I-I can be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Pull my hair
I-I-I-I will be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Dirty! Dirty!
It's a dirty world ♪

♪ Dirty! Dirty!
I-I-I-I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Pull my hair, dirty! ♪

♪ It's a dirty world ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Give it to me, give it to me
Dirty ♪

♪ Come on, baby
Just give it to me ♪

♪ Touch me there
I-I-I-I can be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Pull my hair
I-I-I-I will be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Dirty! Dirty!
It's a dirty world ♪

♪ Dirty! Dirty!
I-I-I-I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪

♪ Touch me there dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl
It gets better ♪

♪ Pull my hair, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl
I mean, who likes a dirty girl anyway? ♪

♪ Touch me there, dirty! ♪

♪ I'll be your dirty girl ♪