Asterix and the Big Fight (1989) - full transcript

ASTERIX and the BIG FIGHT

The Gauls attack!

Obelix, we're coming!

You'll take them, Obelix!
I'll take these!

We're attacked, as you see!

- Look, support us!
- Get out of my way!

Get out of the way Phalop,
away from where they're look for him!

- Ho ho ho ho!
- Ceasar, speak up!

You get those threats, huh?
Ha ha ha ha!

Hey Asterix, why did they say
we're Gaulish?

Gaul is Roman for French traveller.



Oh! Well,
why do we call them the Romans?

Because those guys are Roman
all over place.

Asterix, Obelix, come!
I'll show my Vitamix's brochure.

Oh sure, Vitamix.

Ah, you, my little Dogmatix!
Ha ha ha.

Hello!
Oop, you! Come on!

Yo!
Just back from the hunt day!

Just bringing home the bacon.

The boars don't stand a chance, Vitamix,
with him on the job!

By the way, we were ambushed
by a platoon of Romans.

Get to love those Roman!

Here it is, look here!

You are no silly Romans!

Oh, Vitamix, would you make us
some more of vitamin potion?



Wait way!
Must keep strong for the Roman!

Hail Bossanova! Your platoon
has returned to report to you, sir.

Mamma mia!

What's that going on here?

Bossanova, Sir!

- We were ambushed by two Gauls.
- But they also had a very vicious dog.

And two wild boars.

Hey... that makes five up together,
so at least surprising us.

Huh!
Huh-huh!

These Gauls are making us
the laughing stock of all of Rome.

It's their secret vitamin potion
that is making them so strong.

There must be a way
to get rid of the potion!

Uh--

Huh?

Uh, perhaps we could
just get rid of their wizard!

That's it! We get rid of the wizard
and no more vitamin potion!

Ha ha ha....

Capture the wizard!
Dead or alive.

Ha ha ha!

Don't just stand here!

Yes. Don't just stand there.

We see the most merit.

Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh oh!

Ah!
How are you little flower? Oh!

It's fantastic!

Hee-hee-hee!
♪ While little,

♪ I inspire a little notion in my head...

♪ to my secret postion. Oh, ha ha ha!
♪ We make the Romans run away.

♪ Everyday, after we opposite at your will.

Hey, those Roman foot,
stupid ugly bunch!

Whose is? So?

- We got you!
- Uh, ah-hah!

Got him!

- They got Vitamix!
- Who are you, pro?

Hang on Vitamix!

Obelix, NO!

Look, Obelix, NO!

- Oh great, Obelix, just great!
- What's wrong? I scared off the Romans, didn't I?

Absolutely! But how do we
get supposed the Wizard feel?

Sleepy?

Perhaps I could wake him
with my, uh, my music?

Uh-uh!

I swear, Chief! It was just a tiny
little rocket, just nicked him too.

- Hey, everybody, he's waking up!
- See?

- How are you feeling, Vitamix?
- Oh, just fine!

Oh! Who are you, monsieur?

Asterix, you know me!
Asterix!

Please to meet me, huh!

Asterix? What a funny name!

I'm so glad to see you
well again, Vitamix.

Asterix, you know such a
bufflehead in the woods!

No, he is a so fat little guy!
Eat too much!

Fat guy!

Fat bad guy!

Vitamix, snap out of it, it's your chief
you must remember me.

He's lost his memory.

Then let me sing for him!
He's bound to remember my talent!

♪ Like you all, press to somber

♫ You see I buy a holder

♪ Now he sworn he can't remember
♫ You say so

♪ He just sees stars

♫ What do! What do! I 'll do what?

♫ What do! What do! I 'll do what?

♪ Song called "Crazy"

♫ He stays in this too hard

♫ Got future in this life

♫ Keep to it on the sky

♪ He is ours

♫ Let the old be cured

♪ The hombre head was he

♫ Was he?

♪ He is the....Ah-ha,....

♫ That way remembered

♪ For that uh - uh - uh - uh..... ♪

That's it! I remember everything now.
I was a lobster, a big lobster.

- Obelix, we had better take him home.
- I was a lobster, lobster! I.....

The wizard gone mad!

But who release the potion?

We got to do something before
the Roman find out!

- The wizard? Where is he?
- Bossanova, we don't know!

What?

You want another ambush, just a gaining
lead time. They had superior numbers!

All right, how many?

Uh, two. But they also had a
rocket and a launcher!

- Uh!
- A rocket?

It sounds bigger to me!

Hah! It's crazy!

Rocket is over the advantage by
the jaw of machine, not to fire a shoot!
Hah!

Who are you?

Shall we go back inside, Sir?

No! Just stay up here
so someone prevent the unlit!

The sky is falling!

- The sky is falling!
- The sky is falling!

The sky is falling!

Oh-o!

The sky is falling on our heads!

Is he any better?

- Uh-uh, uh-uh!
- No, not one bit.

Let him get some rest,
lets go see the Chief.

Do you know what's going to happen?

- What can we do?
- I don't know!

If Vitamix had not gone deaf
I know he could save us.

- Help!
- Please help!

Friends, the sky is not falling,
it's only a storm.

I think we sing a little song,
and gives us some courage.

Hurry! Hurry up!
The sky is falling on our head!

Geriatrix, settle down!
It's merely strong lightening hit. No harm!

Excuse me, brave Chief,
invite the stranger in. Wh...

Huh, Chief!
Sure they spoke like bananas, Chief!

Uh!

Uh!

Huh!

Here I'm, who are you?

I am a lost and weary traveller.

I was caught in this storm.

I beg you give me shelter
from this weather.

I don't care it's your price.
I mean no harm to you.

Yeah, of course, my hut is
your hut, anything I can do, uh,

to make you more comfortable!

I'll bet he must be really hungry.

Uh-huh!
I think I have a little goats milk
and a some wild boar.

Gee, I don't mind if I do.

- Well, what's your name traveller?
- My name is Prolix.

I knew I would be caught in this storm
and I knew you would welcome me..

into your hut, and I knew I could
count on your hospitality.

Though, I must say that your lot...

was a very unusual way
of sharing food with a poor hungry guest.

But still, I knew this is
how it would be!

- But, but, but... how could you know all that?
- Because I see the future.

- The future?
- Give me a break!

Someone here does not believe me, huh?

I fear that he will make
things worse for you.

Hey, Frank Sinatra, are you the one
who doesn't believe in him?

- Oh, no. It wasn't me.
- Mr. Prolix, you must...

excuse my men, they love to fight!

I know.

Oh, Mr. fortune teller, please tell us.
Is the sky going to fall on our heads?

If I look at the insides of an animal,
I could tell you for sure.

Perhaps you could read the inside
of this roasted boar.

You've eaten until nothing left to read!

Ah, but the insides of this dog
could tell the future.

I'm a very good dog reader.

If you touch my little Dogmatix,
you'll be taking an early retirement.

Be careful Mr. Fortune-teller!
The predictions of my friend Obelix
are usually correct.

Too bad, I guess you'll never know
if the sky is going to fall on your heads.

Oh!

- Wait, will a fish do?
- A fish?

Well, I suppose I could read
the future in a fish.

Fish sysqua and sushi raw,
tell the future through my draw!

Now, despite the unbelief
I sense among you,

I see,
the sky will not fall upon your heads.

And you'll see it!

And after the storm
will follow sunny days!

- Oh, thank you! What a relief!
- Oh! Oh!

Also I see
there is going to be a fight!

Oh!

Boy! If Vitamix see this, as a matter
of fact, does he afford this ridiculous?

It's safer to believe the fortune teller.

- Oh!
- But Asterix, you heard the fish spoke!

There is only one thing you can tell
by looking at this fish.

- You gonna tell us?
- Yeah, whoever eats it is going up to sick.

- And why, may I ask you that?
- Huh, because your fish are not very fresh!

- What do you mean they're not fresh?
- They stink!

Well! Well, luckily the future is
better than it smells.

Hey, fish's getting cover, we're
done reading your little fish!

This is Wizard talks about the buck sale!
Ha ha ha!

Here, read this!

Why you?

- Sorry my friend, take it!
- Yeah, but not bad, you!

Hey, friends and neighbors!

After the storm, sunny day!

Oh!

But now, I must leave you!
Other villages will be needing my service.

Oh, Mr. Prolix, don't go!

Well,... I... I work the case that... I--

Wow, good riddance!

This is one thing I hate
about a fishy fortune teller.

But Asterix, he predicted the sun
after the storm.

He's a vice,
he could predict a big fight as well?!

It is the Chief told him we fight
all the time,

and when we talk about your fish,
we fight more.

What did the teller lie?

On contrast, it's a real fruit,
my fatty friend!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh-o-o!

Chief, hold on to your temper, we've
still got to find a cure for our Wizard!

Oh my gosh, I completely forgot
about him in the excitement.

Asterix what are we
going to do to cure him?

I don't know, If he was well he could
cure himself with the potion.

Oh, hey! Vitamix, can't you remember the
formulas of your magic potions?

I am the potion.
Ha ha ha!

What the heck is a potion, little Gaul?

Please, Vitamix, you have to understand!

We must have the vitamin potion
to defend against the Romans.

Oh, Yes, yes, yes!
But who is this Vitamix
you keep talking about?

Don't worry about who that is, please!
Just try make the vitamin potion!

Yes, yes, of course, of course!
But what do I do?

Just put the proper
ingredients into the pot.

Asterix, tell him not to laugh at me!

A wizard or no wizard,
I'll put this pot right on his head!

Stop Obelix! Look, remember you
tried that already, but the rocket!

So Obelix, just stay calm,
and let him laugh!

One!

Don't--

- Yoo-bee!
- He seems still remembering the formula.

Uh-huh!

- Ha-ha! Can I put this in, huh?
- But, don't you see--

What was that?
What was that?

- Hey, I am out of here.
- I go, too.

Who?

Huh? What?

- What the hell do you place?
- Hey, let's get out of here, huh?

- Please! Lift this up for me.
- Come on, let's go! Come on!

Mr. Fortune Teller!
Mr. Fortune Teller!

Prolix!

Oh, Oh!
Wait for me, Prolix!

Ah!

You hear those explosions?

It is bad luck
not to respect the fortune teller.

No, don't go!
I respect you!

What do you see
in the future for me?

Please!

There are two in your village
who do not respect me.

The little man with a large yellow
mustache...

and the that fat bully
who had not let me read his little dog.

Ah! Oh!

They are barbarians,
don't let them bother you!

If you had them thrown out then I
could stay. What do you say, huh?

Oh, oh-la-la!
But they protect our village,
we need them.

Ouch, my back!

Then again, with a little help, I suppose
I could settle in this clearing.

Oh yes, and I will make sure Asterix
and Obelix never come out here.

- And I can bring you everything
you need to eat and drink.
- No, no, no,....

No, we fortune tellers go
lonely life of quiet meditation.

About a job, bring me a few things to read,

wild boar, chicken, turkey,
French fries, and beer.

- Even with beer you can read the future?
- Well, it's not the first draft.

I will bring you everything you ask,

so you tell me
what the future hold for me?

Oh-oh-ooh!

I read in the flight of this little birdy,

that you will not need to spend
the rest of your life in the rattle
of this village.

But my husband is chief!

Well, he will be called to a
glory important destiny.

Oh, mine!
Perhaps my big brother...

will make us partners with him in Lutetia.

- Absolutely!
- All right! Hee-hee-hee!

All right, we're just going to say that.

Now, leave me, while I meditate.

- Why doesn't it go boom?
- Perhaps it's going to work.

I-- I am the Easter bunny. We better
taste it, make sure there is no danger.

I should taste it! It's my fault
the wizard forgot how to make it.

Obelix, as the village chief,
its my responsibility.

No, it's too dangerous!

Then again, we could offer it
to the Roman for a taster.

- Where are you going?
- Uh, looking for a Roman.

And maybe a few wild boars for
a light snack in the woods.

The woods?
But Obelix, if you're hungry,
don't go in there!

I'll invite you to my house
for a great big lunch.

- Thank you madam, there isn't time.
- I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure!

But there's always time
for roast boar bogging down,

- isn't there, Obelix?
- Uh, uh, I think so, Mame.

But Obelix!

Asterix, you refuse an invitation
from the Chief's wife?

- No, Mame, I--
- Well, then shut up and lets move!

You don't want to go look over, anyway!
There is nothing to see out there.

But the forest is the trees.

Every tree, you don't have time to do....

♪ Bravo is figuro!
Hmm, hmm, hmm!

♪ Bravo is figuro into the bath...

♪ That go figuro - figuro - figuro.....

- What do you want?
- The platoon has returned.

Hum!
Get me out of here!

Ave Bossanova, the Gauls,
they're making a lot of noise.

And they are taking
a pot shot at us, Sir!

Pot shot? They are taking
pot shot at my legionaries?

That's the cooking pot, Sir!

Ah! Nobody fights with the cooking pots.
The Gauls must be making a plan!

Here Bossanova, I could see here!

- May be the Gaul just wants
even see the peace!
- See! See! See!

OK! Take this fool over there!

He just volunteered
to spy on the Gauls.

Open this up, please, anything with this!
Open it, please!

Ouch!

- Come out of there now!
- No!

I then order....

I then order you to be
cooked alive into that pot.

- You wouldn't do that!
- I guess I can!

Are you already move this?
I am a Roman!

Very good!
We take a noodle Romana!

Why do you need noodles from me?

♪ Bravo, figuro, figuro, Romana noodles,
I like it!

By the chance, Noodle!
Noodle, how are you coming out?

Uh, I think we'd better stir
while he sticks in the bottom.

No way! No way!
I am coming out!

Ha-ha-ha....
Acting very wise, Sancas Lutus!

- I knew you see my pot.
- No!

Piggywiggy,
we have guests for lunch.

Piggywiggy? You haven't called me that
since the beginning of our marriage!

I know! I misjudged you, Piggywiggy.

Piggywiggy?
Ho ho ho..!

Offer your friends a drink
while I cook lunch, Piggywiggy.

What is it with you two?

I am sorry, Piggywiggy. I mean...
I mean Chief.

Would you knock it off?

Why you invited these two dummies,
I don't know?

Because they are the two best boys
in the village, Piggywiggy!

And the Wizard is sick, so the Romans
could attack us, Piggywiggy.

But the Romans are too afraid
bothers us here!

Yes, but without the vitamin potion,
we can't be too careful.

Asterix and Obelix should stay
in the village and not go in the forest!

- No!
- Piggywiggy?

You think it's funny, do you?
Then you can stay in the village...

and guard the wizard
for the rest of your life!

Perfect, Piggywiggy!

♪ In bagging will we go go!
♪ In bagging will we go go!

♪ Go on the tricky the baggy gird,
with bagging here we go!
Huh?

What a sticky! No, if I don't see,
I'd better not in bag anymore! Huh?

See you!

Ouch!

I hardly get in bag, I think it to loose.

But it to do take a loose!

I leg in the bag go in the fort.

I remember, say,
there wouldn't be days like this!

Wood chisel saves you
into this bag, oh!

I'll be it, Java, huh?

Oh, what is this?

Oh, no! Shoo, shoo!

I'll be ready!
Go away! Shoo!

You're going to blow
my cover of wood away?

I'm not going to need you.
Why don't you leave?

You go away!
Thank you very much.

What? Don't come back!

Go away!
Shoo! Shoo!

Leave me!

Huh? All right!

Oh Prolix, I brought you a little
something to read my future with.

Oh, It's stuffed, there is nothing left
for you to read inside!

- Give it to me! I'll read stuffing inside.
- So!

Suffering, you have a very bad past!
Oh, your future looks grand!

Jewelry pattern of the
finest house in town!

Oh! Oh! Remember I alone
can not read or know your fate.

- Vernami?
- Oh, oh!

What are you doing here Vernami?

Well, I--
I was just picking mushrooms.

Oh, but you're little basket
is bare like a bone!

You want some help?

Well, uh... I'll try the stick!
Can you keep a secret?

Uh-huh.

The Fortune Teller left,
thing is he can't go far.

He's in the woods and working.

But you mustn't tell anyone!

And he predicts Geriatrix is
going to be very rich,

and he is going to give me
lots of jewels.

- Oh, mine, mine!
- Oh, mine!

Honey, I have a secret to tell you.

But you mustn't tell anyone!

- Prolix the fortune teller is staying in the woods.
- I know!

I'm bringing him
some heavy reading.

Far up, to give any detail,
I think I need to read a little gold.

Uh-hmm?

Uh-hmm!

Why does everyone keep taking
all of these goodies eager to the woods?

Ah! I'm going to find the Gauls,
and biddy-biddy to hero in all of Rome.

Oh, no! Sneaky dog!
Go home, nice dog! Go away!

Go away nice dog, please!

Good!

Oh-oh!
Ah-A-a!

- Hey!
- Huh?

Oh-ho-ho, no!

What do you know, huh Asterix?

These crazy Romans are branching out
all over the place, huh?

Grace dog!

Oh! Please no!
Have a society! Have a society!

Please don't cook me again!

I have no need to be a spy.
They make me do it!

Don't worry, little Roman!
We just want you to taste the soup.

Yeah, the soup?
That's all?

I think it needs a little work.

Ah, don't worry there Mr. Roman,
were still working on the recipe.

OK, open wide!

Oh!
Oh Ho-ho-ho!

Huh?
Huh? Huh?

Cease him!

Asterix!

No-oh-o!

A-Ha ha ha! Yeah, you are right!
Right out!

Holy cow!
Holy cow!

Go get the inside!
He's going to kill!

Oh, No!
He's just a bit what he got.

Ah-ha! Kee-kee-kee-kee!
A-ha-ha!

Come on, here!

Vitamix, what is that biggy to do to?

I thought the Romans say
he would stop inflation, huh Mr. Promise?

I got him! I got him!
I got him!

Ah ha, kee-kee, kee-kee-ku!
Ha, ha, ha!

Ah-a-a-a-ah!

- Obelix!
- I get you, Asterix! Don't panic!

Don't panic! Don't panic!
I get you! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

I get you!
Come toward me!

Here, I try!
Ha ha ha!

Oh, yeah!

Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh-Hmm!

Where does he go?

A-a-Ah!

Oh!

Packy, packy, packy!

Oh, help!

Hee-hee-hee!
Bye bye! Bye bye!

Hee-hee-hee!
A-ah, a-ka, mucho!

Well come back!
How do you feel, little Roman?

Just fine!

A little light headed!

Very light headed!

Really light headed!
Uh-huh!

♪ Whoa! Sound the voice that catches me!

- Seidin!
- Uh-huh?

- Seidin!
- Huh?

Don't even ask,
please just give me a rope!

Er!

Ah, Bossanova, Novoci Status!

Where is he and what is
with this rope?

Have a look for yourself,
oh Bossanova!

Ah! What do you get on the air for?
Get down from there, Noodle!

But Bossanova, there's no way!
I'm as light as a flag in the wind.

Lower this flag!

Ta-ran-ta-ta!

The wwizard is experimenting with a
new potion, and he won't stop laughing.

That very bad a news!

You're going to be free!

Huh, what are they up to?

Who tell you what?

Take a platoon, find out what
they are doing in their village!

Uh! What we need is
another Roman.

Uh-huh!

Uh!

Hey Geriatrix,
where are you going?

Ha ha! Asterix,

I'm just going for working in the forest
to get some forest for my bank.

Uh-huh?

He's odd!

Something very strange is
happening around here.

What happening is... is that
they're all going into the forest...

then come back happy,
while we're stuck here doing nothing!

Hey, Chief!

What is going on in that forest?

Obelix, you guard the wizard,
I'll be back as soon as I can.

Anyone here?

Where is he?

Where is who?

You chased him out, Bombastix told
you not to come into the forest!

And he wants me.
The Fortune Teller wants me!

- Ah! The great disaster will befall us!
- Could you tell us, Vernami!

- Wait!
- The fortune teller's gone!
The great disaster will befall us!

Asterix has chased
the Fortune Teller away!

Ave General, Bossanova!

Bonjour Arno, what you got?

I was leading the platoon to the
Gaulish village you requested, Sir.

And we discovered
this intruder in the forest,

and his story is very interesting,
Bossanova. So I brought him to you, Sir!

A prisoner from Gaul?
What fun are for you?

Excuse me, Signor Gaul! You are one
of these super strong Gauls, the enemy?

Me? Oh, no! I am a peaceful man,
I am against no one at all.

That's nice!

- Voila, my name is Prolix.
- Uh!

I travel about in search of a patron.

- Uh!
- Yet I knew that here I would find a...

soldiers who was strong,
uh, and generous,

- Uh!
- even if some of his less sensible troupes...

- didn't show me the respect they should.
- Huh?

But, then...
I knew all this before!

Well done, so tell me how
you are knowing all that?

Well, I am... a fortune teller.

A fortune teller?
Uh!

So you are a fortune teller from Gaul?

- Yes, sir!
- Uh-huh.

For example, I foresee that
you will be promoted, ha ha!

- And achieve great plans!
- Uh!

So, am I going to conquer
the unbeatable Gauls?

- You guess well!
- Magnifico! Ha ha ha!

Unfortunately for you, we are under orders
to arrest all Gaulish fortune tellers.

- Under Arrest!
- What?

What? Well I, in that case,
no more joking. Ha ha ha ha!

I mean I am not a fortune teller!
That was just a little joke!

Actually, I am a bit of a rascal.

I try to abash the preach of
gullible before.

I'm afraid!
I make my living without work!

Oh, but... but something you want,
you tell me what?

But you were saying that you think
I am going to get a promotion?

But I'm afraid that it's a joke!
I mean, I mean that's totally absurd!

Well, that makes sense.

When I need your opinion,
I'll give it to you!

Our guess does not speak it through!

See how much I know!

I'm going to give you a little test.

Heads or tails?

Oh! Neither, neither one.

Bingo!

As soon as you predicted my promotion,
I knew it is for real!

No, no, no! Wait a minute!
You got a lesson to me.

Be abide to a real fortune teller,

I woud have known
what the coin would land on it;

by unimbeded tail!
So you want to arrest me!

Who put this man in chains?

But I'm not a fortune teller!
It's all a lie!

I... I am flattering
the people of the village!

I tell them what they want to hear
so they believe me anything,

anything I say! But-b-b-b...
But I am not a real fortune teller!

Please, don't arrest me!

- Please!
- Uh!

So, you are a fake!

But the Gauls believe anything
you say as if it's true, huh?

Oh, yes!

I have their trust.

Your actions have been
foully and unworthy, Asterix!

It's dangerous to anger
a fortune teller!

He is an impostor, he takes all your
money to make himself fat!

He's out there right now, looking
for a whole new bunch of suckers!

No, I don't think so! He wasn't
an impostor, he said all the right things.

- Please Mrs. Chief, open your eyes!
- Open her eyes? Open your eyes!

Oh! Oh! Oh, we'll see! The fortune
teller would take avenge on us all!

All right!

Oh, my gosh!

It's Prolix, the fortune teller!
He is back!

Yes, people of Gaul!

I've returned, to tell you that
your village is doomed!

Even your air
will be a poisonous snoose!

Take a breath,

and very hair on your head will be
scrolled up and cream with things!

lt's not my fault!
Fortune will come like a cloud!

I did not want this for you, but it's
bad luck to go without fortune tellers.

Please, get away before it is too late!

I tell you it's your only hope!

Now everyone has been warned!

I will not stay another minute
in this doomed village!

Lets go to Paris (Lutetia), please!
Oh, Piggywiggy!

You're gone nuts?

You are not going to abandon
our village on account of fur face!

But if on the chance he is right,
we would all be doomed.

I think we should move to the little
island that is right off the coast.

- But Piggywiggy, it's in Lutetia that we--
- Don't be silly,

when the danger is cleared,
we will come back to the village.

Asterix, shall we go?

No, I'll stay!

Everybody else,
get to the boats!

He'll be mine, Asterix!

- Obelix, are you leaving?
- Ah, well!

No, uh, I'll stay!

All aboard, who's going aboard!

Oh-ho!
Oh ho-ho-ho-ho!

The Romans can attack
whenever they like now.

Huh!

I guess we should hide.

That's it!
Mission accomplished!

The Gauls have left their village.

I am not a bit surprised, I knew all along
that you were a real fortune teller.

Arrest him now?

B-b-b-but you promised
you would let me go free!

Oh, no! I am first going to check to make
sure that the Gaul village is clear.

- Uh-huh! I knew it!
- I'll bet!

Oh, no!
That is not what I meant.

I didn't know at all,
I am not a fortune teller!

It was just a haunch!
That's all! That's all!

Look! The fortune teller lead
the Romans right into our village.

The fortune teller and the Romans,
of course they are in this together!

We're not going to let the Romans
take our village!

Let's go see them all embarrass!

No Obelix, without the vitamin potion,
they'll catch you!

Now we are useless!

All we can do now is sit here
and keep an eye on Vitamix.

This place is deserted, completely
deserted, Bossanova, Sir.

Come!

Go to Rome and
carry this message to Caesar.

You'll tell him:
All of Gaul is occupied!

Then he will ask: "Totally?"
And you will say to him: "Totally!"

- Oh, yeah!
- He will understand. Hmm-hmm!

And it's mad!

As Caesar would say, "Gentlemen,
as we came, we saw and we got them."

Bravo Prolix, you are really good!

So then you want, I should I arrest him
now? Uh, he's a real fortune teller.

- And as he said you'll be promoted!
- But, but, it is not true! I told you it's not true!

What do you mean?
Are you saying...

now you think I am not going to
receive my promotion?

But I could not know that!

- What do you see?
- But I told you I don't make predictions, then.

Oh, that's true, or I will read
my future on your own inside!

- Uh, oh! Uh-hmm...!
Yes, you will get a promotion!
- So, we arrest him?

No, this so fast!
A fortune teller could come in very useful.

Yes Sir, but order is order!
I say, if he is a real fortune teller,
we arrest him.

But I am not! I'm a fake!
Remember, I predicted... uh, uh,
a curse on the air of the village?

You know? All at a sudden
I think there is a kind of strange odor!

- Don't you think?
- No, strange odor?

Yeah!

A strange odor!

Uh-uh!

Oh, Bossanova, the air is
unbreathable in the village!
It stinks bad!

Stinks bad?
I told you!

You are incredible, Prolix! You not only
predict the future, you call it to happen!

Hey, did you permit it?

This in the end, I swear I must
make lies to everyone.

I'm completely innocent!

That's ridiculous, for myself
know that totally I am lying!

Impossible! That's impossible!
I swear to you all!

I can not predict anything, I--

Ah! Ah!
I swear to you, I didn't know, I swear!

It's not possible!

Trumpeter, sound the evacuation
of this place, all of it double!

Tan-ta-ta!
Ta-ta-ta!

Vitamix!

- Vitamix!
- Vitamix!

Vitamix!

- Vitamix!
- Wait for me!

O-Obelix!

Asterix!

Asterix!

Asterix!

Asterix!

This is all my fault!

And to think it's all because of
that too bad stupid little rocket!

Oh... oh!
Wonder rocket!

Oh!
Ah!

Asterix!

Asterix?

Asterix!

You called me Asterix?
Vitamix, you're cured!

Obelix, did you throw
this rock on Vitamix?

Absolutely, to cure the poor wizard!

So, don't you try tell me
I did the wrong thing?

Oh!
Oh-Oh!

Oh, stop joking! Can you, Obelix, take
the rock get me up from under this rock?

Oh, this is great!
Obelix, I can't believe it!

- Our wizard is still safe.
- I can't believe that either! Good boy!

What do you mean still? I just cured
him with my own delicate treatment!

Piggywiggy, how much longer are we staying around here?
- Huh?

You stupid bad boar! Have you read
from Prolix we did in Paris (Lutetia)?

But baby, as soon as everything settles
down we will go back to the village.

- As long as I'm on this island
I'll never get my jewels.
- Or my career!

Oh, shut!

I throw my hours away here,
a little fishy, and all is marble!

- You're scaring the fish!
- Cut it out.

- Out fisher!
- Whatever!

It's...
Boss!

At ease!

- Ah, This is much better.
- What?

But we had to retreat from
the village we just conquered.

So, thanks to the fortune teller, we now
have no more Gauls, that is the main thing.

- Good, so now I can arrest him.
- Absolutely not! Huh!

Excuse me, a beg your pardon,
I don't think I quite understand.

Of course you're not!
That is why I am a "Bossa Nova"
and you are the boss of nobody!

Come along, amigo.
I want to talk with you.

Aye!
Oh, no!

You predict our fates, that
you are a true fortune teller!

You knew, there would be
a disaster and it came.

Oh, I get it through, I am a fortune
teller. Fortune teller, am I!

You should be placed under arrest.

- I am sure I must be a fake!
- But a fortune teller could be useful to me.

- I am not a fake!
- With your predictions and advice.

- I am a fortune teller!
- I could go very far!

- I am a fortune teller.
- Maybe I even replace Caesar.

- I can go to Rome.
- Of course I'll be very generous.

Oh, that's it!
Fortune I'll ask! Oh!

Make up your mind, because
if you're not real, we will tear you apart!

Owe!

Please sit down and tell me
a little bit more about my future.

But, Bossanova, I already told you all that
the gods will give you protection!

- And you will be promoted, and-- and--!
- I know!

Tell me how it's going to be
when I am, uh,... Caesar!

Well, you will be real powerful and...
famous for you salute dressing.

- Very good! Very good! And Cleopatra?
- What is Cleopatra?

You have never heard of Cleopatra?

Oh, you don't have to tell Cleopatra!
Cleopatra sillies me!
How could I forget Cleopatra!

She will be crazy for you, head over heels for you,
mainly in love till death for you, when I felt that--

Fortune Teller!

- Uh! Who are you?
- You mean you don't know?

- What do you want?
- You are the lucky winner, Prolix!

- Winner? Winner of what?
- It is a surprise!

- Surprise, what kind of a surprise?
- Can't you guess, fortune teller?

Oh, well! Yes, of course, I can!

I was told asking a surprise,
a fool appear surprise!

So, I waited.
It's coming to me, uh, uh-- Uh--

Fortune teller, tell her
the men you're surprised.

But I don't know how!

- What was that noise?
- How would I know?

The Gauls! The Gauls!

The Gauls, whether if they come,
but you didn't let me know.

Bu-b-b-but Bossanova,
How was I supposed to know?

- Liar!
- Leave him to me!

No, you couldn't guess we were here,
huh, fortune teller? Embarrass!

And Piggywiggy partners with my brother?
It was all a lie! Shame on you!

Bravo, Madam!
A bravo! Oh, no!

Vitamin potion!

Am I right back here?

Ouch!

Who dare to bark at me?!

All the girls!

Wait, who are you?

I am here, Precutic Bulbus,
Special Envoy to Julius Caesar!

A pleasure to meet you!
The stone is right behind me!

Hey, dog reader!

Good day!

Julius Caesar asked me to come
and see if you really and truly...

had conquered these
fearsome and rebellious Gauls.

Bossanova, you are an embarrassment!
They conquered you!

It's all right!

Come on, everybody!
Lets go home!

But it's not all my fault, there was
in it followed me fortune teller--

Shut up, you have been demoted!

You are a legionnaire and
even that is too generous!

Oh, I am going to be promoted, am I?
Centurion, arrest this impostor!

I will not take order from some
low ranking legionaire!

And you'll clean up this entire mess alone
and speak properly to your superior!

After that!

Uh, go on, go on, get out!

Punitive crazing away stuff
inside of my camp!

After the storm, sunny days, sunny days!

VictorR – 09/23/2013.

♪ Like you all, press to somber
♫ You see I buy a holder

♪ Now he sworn he can't remember
♫ You say so

♪ He just sees stars.

♫ What do! What do! I'll do what?

♫ What do! What do! I'll do what?

♪ Song called "Crazy"!
♫ He stays in this too hard

♫ Got future in this life
♫ Keep to it on the sky

♪ He is ours
♫ Let the old be cured

♪ The hombre head was he
♫ Was he?

♪ He is the... ah - ha...
♫ That way membered

♪ For that uh – uh – uh… ♪