Asphalt Tango (1996) - full transcript

Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx

Get your hands off her ass you freak!

It's my last chance to touch her. She leaves tomorrow.

I'm so happy for you, Dora.

Go to France and finish them off.

Come on, get the present!

That's very kind of you ...

We all contributed.

You contributed my ass! You stole it from the costumes.

Look who's talking! That's where you get all your shoes.

Take one out, so we'll look at the inventory number.



It's a lucky jiboia.

Take her to the Moulin Rouge and we'll all be proud of you.

Champagne! Let's baptize the French girl!

Christ! She's taking too long!

Someone help her.

Virginia!

The bra! Show your breasts!

She can not.

Miriam sewed the fastenings.

- No way! - Damn it! What a bitch!

And? Just a parting game,

since she is leaving for Paris.

- Years. Cheers! - To your success.

30?



Do you think that for you it will be better abroad?

Yes, I think I'll be better.

What was this?

Now she speaks French.

Why are you speaking French with us, my dear?

Parentheses: I made a decision.

From midnight sharp, I do not speak Romanian anymore.

I consider it a dead language.

And I'll do what I can to forget it.

Those were my last words in Romanian.

Closes parentheses.

4 Bloody Mary, table 3.

Look, the Syrians.

I'll take care of it.

I thought you could not even look at them.

Today I can. Hold my passport.

Oh! Forgive me!

Wow, I'm so clumsy!

It's my last night, I do not know where my head is.

I think this will leave you with a bad impression of our country ...

My Savior, Lord Jesus Christ,

look upon my poor wretched soul.

I go abroad to try my luck elsewhere,

since I could not find happiness at home.

Give me strength and faith

and help me find a handsome boy,

French or American,

who will marry me and with whom I will have children.

Be careful, yes?

If that pile of rubbish breaks on the road, I'll wind up with your tail.

- No problem. - I hope, for your sake.

Do not trust me?

I do not trust anyone.

I trusted Ceausescu until he was shot like an ass.

Look what a mess we are in today,

no one works anymore!

Except me.

You're right. And I find that a bit doubtful, by the way.

I'm saving a little money to open my own garage.

See? Everyone dreams of being their own boss now.

Romanian capitalist.

22 million bosses starving to death.

Bunch of assholes ...

Where are you going with the carriage?

Carriage!

To Paris.

Paris and back.

Quick, we leave at noon.

Paris! Not bad!

I've been there. It's as dirty as here,

only much more expensive.

But do you know what my burden is?

"No." "You know what?"

Go ahead! Tell me!

Whores. Export quality.

Fresh meat.

Prostitutes of really high class.

2,100 km, 3 days on the road.

But with a few stops, to relax a bit.

You know what I mean.

After that, maybe I need to retire.

Are you sure they're whores?

Is playing?

Look. Here in Romania we have the most beautiful girls.

The whole world wants them.

So they try to attract them.

With dollars, with clothes ...

Just read the paper!

Good girls stay home.

The whores ...

They take the team!

Hand me the screwdriver.

But let me tell you, this is very good.

Let them take the team out of here,

all the parasites, the vagabonds, the prostitutes and the ...

Especially the prostitutes!

Come on girls, put your luggage inside.

"It must be mr. Gigi. - Right.

Here are are travel papers.

There is also something about

A bonus of encouragement, right?

See the other side. You will receive the rest in Paris.

Mr. Gigi,

Do you think I'll have the chance to have one or two between here and Paris?

Kind of rounding up on your encouragement bonus, right?

You read my mind, Mr. Gigi.

What's going on here?

She wants to open the glass!

"Then she should not smoke!" "Now he's ruining my life."

You want to choose my deodorant, too.

First, you need a shower.

All right, let's stop this!

Go sit next to Felicia. She smokes!

She smokes but does not speak Romanian.

What you mean?

Sorry, I do not speak Romanian.

Then I'll open the window.

Hello.

You're particularly sweeping today, Marion.

Mr. Gigi, if you want us to do business together,

You better stop kissing my hand. I hate this.

But it's a traditional custom here ...

I change, lady? Dollars? Marcos?

Come on, get out.

"I have money, you know. - I said leak.

Seriously, get out.

Another Romanian custom, I think!

All right, ladies, calm down!

I want some discipline, or we will not get along.

On this bus, I'm in charge, of course.

So if I get angry, you will be in trouble.

That's better.

Do you know the one that the Angora rabbit goes to a brothel?

An Angora rabbit goes to a brothel ...

Good morning, ladies. My name is Marion.

And I've met hundreds like you.

You only have one advantage: they are cheaper.

You have signed a two-year contract

and must respect it to the smallest detail.

Let's put on a show and tour all over Europe.

In other words, it's going to be hard work.

You will get up at 6am, rehearse all day and perform at night.

This means taking care of the body.

This also means that they will have to entertain customers,

talking to them, being a nice company.

So if any of you want to fall out, this is the time to raise your hand.

Tanzania! Do not tell me you're giving up.

No. Could you please translate it into Romanian, please ...

It seems to me that mastering French was one of the prerequisites.

She was reciting Baudelaire by heart, what should I think?

How many recited Baudelaire by heart?

You! Say something in French.

I'm really happy to go to Paris.

I bet it is.

Believe me all the others are OK.

I even have one that has problems with Romanian.

Okay, so let's go!

You said "let's go".

Oh, really?

Do not forget me, boys!

Try again.

Listen to everyone!

Stop working. We are on strike.

You must be joking!

We already had a strike this week.

This is solidarity with the railroad.

Hey, you're not going to leave me like this!

Am sorry. It hurts?

Still do not know.

I have 3 deliveries tomorrow. I need the truck!

I'm sorry, mate. This is democracy.

Fucking democracy!

Dora?

Dear Andrei,

When I read these words, I will be far away.

I left their steaks in the refrigerator and I passed all their shirts.

You must know that it was not easy for me

make this decision.

I still love him.

You are a good man and a wonderful husband.

But I want more out of life

than you may be able to offer.

So here it is:

I signed a contract to work in France for a few years.

Maybe my life is there, maybe not ... Heaven knows.

But I had to try.

I'm sorry for running away like a thief,

but I do not know how to do it any other way.

This saves us from a long and painful explanation.

Take care,

be strong,

and do not think about it too much.

Dora.

Dora Lung, is that it?

- Yes. - Where did you work before?

No, wait.

Are you kidding, classic?

Kind of...

Wow, an intellectual!

Why do you ask?

I'm making a list of each girl's work experience.

Tonight we will hold a meeting and we will begin to organize.

Elections, tuition ... Like a real union.

- Do we have to pay tuition? - Yes!

Well, something symbolic.

Honey,

We must defend our rights and impose certain conditions.

With French, you need to be careful.

If they think we're suckers, they're going to try and skin us.

Are you sure we can trust them?

Did they read the contract carefully?

Of course, these girls are real professionals.

Of course they are, but in what field?

What are you afraid of, Marion?

Do not know...

Three days in this country and I'm already going crazy.

I have a feeling there will be problems.

Which is

I had problems with far less sophisticated endeavors than this.

I had trouble downloading into 3-star hotel bathrooms.

Or making international calls.

You are adept at creating problems rather than solving them.

Are we far from the border?

Well, about 600 km.

Clear. And I was told it was a small country.

It is small, but when the maximum speed allowed is 60 km per hour,

because there are no highways, of course it becomes great.

Do you think I have fat legs?

- An idiot said I got it. - No, you do not have.

He wants an egg.

No, thank you. Wednesdays and Fridays I fast.

Are you religious?

Yes.

Me too. But not so much.

Before I went to church, I weighed 72kg.

I turned to faith in search of salvation

and God helped me lose weight.

Now I am a true believer.

French, now they have class! Real men ...

Legal, educated, cultured, always reciting Jacques Pervert ...

They just look at you with those blue eyes.

and you lose your mind!

I do not. The Italians are better in bed.

Which is!

They're all pigs!

My wife disappeared!

Did the two young pigeons have a little swoop?

I just hope you hit her too.

My wife was recruited by some international prostitution market

And several other girls too.

They left for Paris an hour ago, on a yellow bus, a Roar.

You're sure of all this information.

Damn! Do not you read newspapers?

There is a real mafia, an entire industry.

Here is the repair account, with the license plate number.

Do not take it personally, but I really can not blame her.

What you mean?

Look at the human aspect.

When I see such a woman, I ask myself,

If I were up, like her,

if I had all those

I would not try to make a fortune out of it?

Of course, as an advocate of the law, I condemn this.

But humanly speaking,

I can understand certain things.

Look at these mountains,

The evergreens, the sky ...

This wonderful country ...

He belongs to everyone.

Tourists come from all over the world

and enjoy our beautiful landscape as we enjoyed.

We could say that we Romanians are married to our country.

This does not prevent us from sharing it with strangers

especially when it brings strong currency.

Nowadays, a little hard currency does not hurt.

Do you understand what I mean?

No, I do not understand.

It is a pity.

An angora rabbit wants to fuck, so he goes to a brothel.

"Good evening, ma'am, he says, what do you have to be fucking?"

"Well, she replies, for you I would recommend

a pretty little squirrel or a sturdy little mouse, if you like. "

"No," says the rabbit.

"Tonight I want something really sexy.

I wanted to have sex with a jiboia. "

Pull over.

What is the top speed here?

Whatever it is, we're below it.

It's certainly just a routine check.

What's wrong with her?

Do not know.

I think she's praying.

Here are the contracts with the Jamaica V Productions in Paris.

Everything is on paper, they all signed.

You can check it yourself.

The French consulate issued long-stay visas.

You can see that it is a perfectly legal company.

What? Make my wife a prostitute

now it is called legal enterprise?

"Why is he screaming?" - You're the husband of one of the girls.

Great! I felt that it would happen.

What did you tell me this morning?

- Say it again. "About Ceausescu?"

Forget Ceausescu! About prostitution, damn it!

Captain!

Ask mrs. Foreign ...

- If she wants to exchange dollars. - Come on, get out!

There is no prostitution involved, sir. Translate.

We're talking about a show in a cabaret.

His wife was hired to dance, entertain clients,

do a little bit of striptease once in a while.

He is forbidden from sleeping with clients.

I pay you to kindle the desire, not to satisfy you.

Save your breath! I can understand.

We're talking about art, sir!

Hey, Major ...

Pussies like these are a little out of our reach, do not you think?

What? Do you think it's funny?

Do we tell anecdotes now?

Why the fuck are you hanging around?

Stuffing your eyes?

Go and milk your cows!

I want to talk to my wife. Bring her here.

It's none of my business, but ...

No, I do not want to see him!

Hey, hang in there, man.

This is my territory. Understood?

I do not give a damn! I want to talk to my wife!

Your wife is old enough to make her own decisions. She's free.

As far as I know, this is not Sicily.

Now calm down,

be kind

and let us go.

According?

Sorry, mr. Lung.

Romanian police are ill-equipped to deal with domestic crises.

And they say our export is weak.

Come on, we'll take you home.

Do not.

What do you mean, no?

- I'm going after her. - Until where? France?

I'll tell her about it before she crosses the border.

Do not you get it yet, man? She did not even want to talk to you.

With the police around she would not speak.

I can not believe this.

Look, I'm talking to you, like I'm my own son.

Get 30% of your contract and find a suitable housewife.

You do not understand anything, do you?

Come on...

For 3 years I tried to build something for both of us.

For three years I scraped my ass to make money.

12 hours a day to buy my own garage, offer you a better life.

And now she kicks me like that? Because?

Because?

Thank you for your time, Lieutenant.

I will continue alone.

You are crazy.

A little. That's what she likes about me.

Come on, it's getting late.

If you can get her back, you go see me.

I'll buy the vodka. Smirnoff!

Why did not you tell us that you were married?

I knew you were looking for single girls.

What an idiot! Get behind them with the cops!

Did you see his face? He sounded insane!

As if she came with a guarantee.

Saw? Typically Romanian.

Can you imagine a Frenchman acting like that?

You're not trying to make fun of me, by any chance, mr. Gigi?

One of them does not speak French at all, the other is married ...

What else is keeping me as a surprise?

Do not talk to me like that, Marion. I worked so crazy to select them,

but I am neither God nor Security.

I'm just a pro and I demand to be treated like one.

Sluts! I bet they all lied to me.

- Where are we going? - Taking the road to Cluj and ...

Get yourself, sir. I do not leave town.

Try the next, it's my day off.

Do you spend your day off alone in your car?

Is there a problem with that, asshole? Do you want to take me to the movies?

I'm going to Parietal.

I do not.

You're out of luck, handsome.

Are you going where I'm going?

I will go wherever you wish, sir. You are the customer.

Take the road to Cluj.

We have to catch a bus. I will pay whatever it costs.

No problem.

I see you're a decent customer, sir.

I can recognize a decent customer when I see one.

Sometimes I have to deal with indecent clients.

If there is one thing I can not bear in life,

is an indecent customer.

Cool huh?

A gift from my wife.

So what is an "indecent customer" to you?

One that makes you stop the car to buy cigarettes and disappears

letting you wait for Judgment Day with the taximeter turned on.

Just an example.

What if I'm one?

But you're not a gypsy!

I was talking about gypsies!

You know, I'm an open-minded person.

For me it is alive and let live.

But I'll tell you one thing:

Gypsies ... we should kill them all.

All of them? It would give a lot of work ...

It's just a matter of organization.

Are the Liberals back on the streets?

Lorena!

Lorena! I must be dreaming!

Fuck, it's really her!

- Who? "Lorena, my idol!"

Wait a second, I can not miss it.

Here, sign it.

For Baby.

When I see you on TV, I go crazy.

I hit my old lady a couple of hours, just to calm myself down.

Trying to raise my spirits or something?

Looking for action?

Get out!

Fucking Gypsy!

Are you talking to me?

You, go after your mother!

Are you insulting my mother?

You? You son of a bitch?

Hey, boys, come and see that!

Just a moment.

Just a little setback. I'll be right back.

I beg you! You have a decent customer waiting here!

Where are the boys? Come to Daddy!

My car!

The damn gypsy is stealing my car!

What did I do?

Spring Taxi. Verification. Please answer.

Car 132, can you hear me?

132

132, Roger.

Try not to be late for dinner, 132. I bought chicken.

Great.

Do you miss me a bit, 132?

132

Get out!

Hey, girls, are you free tonight?

Driver! Keep driving!

Message to Gianni.

It's me.

I just called

to tell you that considering everything

I think I've been wasting my time with you.

You've disappointed me at all times.

I'm going overseas.

For future contacts, look for me in France.

Goodbye sweetheart.

Are you sure of your choice?

Yes, Mrs. Marion.

No regrets?

We always regret something. But we must move on.

She has the courage, this girl.

What did you mean by that wink, mr. Gigi?

Ah, women!

You little rascal ...

It seems to me that Mr. Gigi is annoying you, Dora.

- A little, yes. - What? What advances?

Why bother her?

Not the time nor the place ...

That depends.

Mr. Gigi started to think you're available.

Why would she leave her perfect husband,

if not to find a handsome guy like him?

He can always refuse his assaults, but never in a violent way.

The art of rejection is part of the work.

I must confess

that I feel a bit offended.

Dora is trying to get through a marriage.

A marriage is like a zoo, you know,

A reserve where one's own reflex is lost.

He has to learn the laws of the jungle again.

Give her another wink and try new advances.

In French?

Well then, Miss. Dora ...

Would you like to have sex tonight?

You move fast.

I do not know what to say, it's very provocative.

Let things happen

naturally.

So she'll be raped in the next 10 minutes.

We're talking about rejection, right?

This gesture ...

must be done with overwhelming superiority.

"Oh, the little cockroach ..."

"Cute, the poor thing is all excited."

"You're having your little dreams wet ..."

At the same time it should carry the education of a large corporation.

You have to gracefully humiliate the applicant.

"Do you have a business card, sir?"

"Leave us your coordinates

and we will keep in touch. "

End of lesson number one. Come on, let's go.

Girls!

Get on the bus. The interval is over!

Do not forget: meeting tonight.

Meeting tonight, after dinner.

You do not talk much, do you?

I do not speak Romanian.

You really are weird. Say something occasionally!

You realize that tomorrow we will still be on the road. It is a pity.

Because?

It's July 14th.

What is July 14?

Saw? That's why I'd rather not talk.

Come on, come on. Your birthday?

If only you could see the Champs Elysee tomorrow, you'd understand.

Here's the agenda For tonight:

in about 20 minutes we should be in Cluj.

We will quietly get off the bus and check in at the hotel.

Do not expect 4 stars.

They'll be in two. It's up to you to choose a roommate.

At 8:30 pm, we will have dinner in the restaurant downstairs.

I mean, some little ...

- Kebab? - Kebab, yes.

And a small tomato salad.

Tomato salad, yes.

And a beer. Romanian beer.

The guy's French!

- You really think so? - Yes.

Listen. He is speaking French.

I bet he'll hate the food.

Maybe he's a Belgian.

It can not be. See how distinguished he is.

Shall we flirt with him?

It's Dracula's concept, ma'am.

We must create an industry around this figure ...

To the young lady, in the name of that gentleman there.

The one with the newspaper.

What answers, Dora?

Tell the gentleman that I thank him,

that I do not drink alcohol, but that I would accept your business card,

if he has one.

My business card, Miss?

Dora, please!

Dora, get out!

Dora, let's talk for five minutes, that's all I'm asking.

Hey, sir, this is the ladies' room.

It's written in big letters on the door!

Stay where you are! Do not try anything funny!

Do not be stupid.

I will not hurt her.

Someone call the police.

Yes, call the police.

Now that's enough.

Mr. Lung,

I would like to talk with you.

My name is Marion.

Would you like something to drink?

Hello, Mom? How are you?

Do you miss me already? I'm in Cluj.

Tell me, did Gianni call and ask for me? You did not call?

No, nothing has been fixed. I just wanted to know if he called.

Well, Andrei ... Maybe it's time to clear things up.

Clarify things.

"They're very clear to me. "Well, not for me.

I have some questions to ask.

Looks like you're getting annoying.

- What? Forget that.

Do not be upset, my friend. We were in good shape, all cool ...

Here, have some vodka.

and let me take care of you.

"I said forget that." - What?

Go look elsewhere for trouble.

What does he want?

No way, she speaks foreign languages!

You knocked me out, wonderful,

now I have to remember things I learned in school! Fuck you.

Not bad, huh?

Get your hands off!

What is it, sweetheart?

I'm warning you ...

What's the matter, Rambo? Are you getting nervous?

Stay calm, this is my turn tonight.

They do not say we are in a democracy now.

Everyone has their turn to fuck!

Apologize to the lady.

It's all right. I can handle this!

That hurts! You're going to break my arm!

Apologize to the lady!

It was a joke.

Apologize to the lady.

I'm sorry, sir, I did not do it on purpose.

Now...

You come with me.

"Are you French?" "Well, yes, miss.

I love the French people.

Are you here on business?

In a way, yes.

I really love entrepreneurs.

It was good enough, I hope?

Yes. Only that was the wrong woman.

It was not my fault.

- I did my job. - Do not worry. I'll pay for it.

Is better...

You know I could end you.

- in about 3 seconds? - Clear.

"Are you sure you do?" "Yes, I told you.

Well, in case you do not know ...

You're running out of time ...

The person your life depends on is out of reach ..

You have an urgent message

and is in desperate need of a solution ...

- We offer you one! - Say it!

- Buy a fax. - Fuck you.

I'm not taking anyone, I'm on strike.

I think you should thank him.

What happened?

Fall off some stairs.

I was not paying attention.

You really treated him well, to say the least.

- Sir, you vodka! - It's not mine.

Yes it is. You bought it at the bar.

You're wrong! I told you it's not mine!

I'm busy. Get out.

A frame. I should know...

Not...

Tell me, Andrei. All this circus with his wife

What are you trying to achieve?

A fax.

Talking serious! Bring a woman by force, back to your bed ...

How long do you think this could last?

30, 40 minutes ... It depends on the day.

All right, I got it.

And then?

After,

she usually goes to the kitchen.

Decided to enjoy my face?

Are you married, Marion?

Do not.

Because? Is marriage in France illegal?

No, but it should be. I do not believe in marriage.

Well, I believe.

I went with Dora to the priest.

She was dressed in white

and so beautiful

It was like a painting,

with her eyes shining like diamonds.

And the priest said

"Servant of God, Dora

Take this man, Andrei, to be your legal husband,

by their own free will, for better or for worse

united before God, until death do you part? "

And guess what she answered?

Go ahead. I give you three chances.

She said, "I accept."

Bravo, you got it right!

She said, "I accept."

So she became my wife.

Wife legal.

The priest actually used this word:

"cool".

Are you a happy husband, Andrei?

Yes.

Each day, when I leave work,

I'm going home

and she wait for me

and she is beautiful as an angel.

Sometimes my hands are dirty ...

She kisses me and I dare not touch her ...

And when you dare touch it, how is it?

I'm sorry, but it's none of your business.

That's true.

But I'm a little perverted. I can not help but wonder.

I may be wrong, but I have the impression

that one would die of boredom in her bed.

You're wrong.

Clear.

In fact, you must go through those moments of ecstasy!

I'm sure the two of you can see fireworks

and that their cries can be heard even in Paris.

Is this how you see sex?

With fireworks and shouts?

Something like. But again, I do not have your experience.

Fireworks and screams that can be heard as far as Paris?

Be careful with great hygiene, my friend ...

Sometimes you need to know when to touch a woman with dirty hands.

That makes all the difference.

Good night.

Are not you coming to the meeting?

Do not.

Know what? I thought it would be best if I stayed with you tonight ...

in case her husband's crazy man comes back, a knock on the head and ...

"I hear the girls are having fun. - Wrong, we're in a meeting.

Mind if I join? I'm interested.

Sorry, it's only for girls.

Do not be silly. It would be more fun with me.

Hey, girls!

Do not need a new member for your thing?

He said he has a member for our thing,

I can not believe it!

What an obscene gentleman!

I did not mean...

I meant to attend the meeting.

Do not you see? It's a girl thing.

So let's say I'm a girl.

This is even better!

Look at you! Are not you ashamed at your age?

You know we can file a complaint?

Hold on!

Maybe it's time he learned what it's like to be a girl.

Do you know what I mean?

Do not be silly, Snobby ...

Bravo, Felicia. You're right.

Want to join us for a minute?

Come in, my beautiful.

Good night.

Ann-Marie?

It's me.

Tell me, did Gianni call and ask about me?

You were not home?

He must have called, that asshole ...

I can enter?

- Because? - Because it would be rude

and very unprofessional of you to knock the door on my face.

A little practical exercise: you have a night visitor.

Go ahead, deal with it.

Come in, sir. Gigi.

I can not wait to hear your conversation.

Not talk like that!

No, honestly.

I came to talk serious business.

I hear you, sir. Gigi.

To tell you the truth, I really liked you.

And so does Marion.

There may be a chance we can help her.

It's all up to you. You just need to be smart and

try to make the best of our confidence.

I understand.

But how, sir. Gigi?

For example...

You could behave

with a little more sympathy with those who are trying to help her.

Like me, for example.

Sometimes ... I feel like you do not like me very much.

Mr. Gigi,

Can I ask you a serious question?

Sends!

About the female condition.

I'm listening, Dora.

Why do we always have to put up with it?

these pathetic advances?

How is it?

You come here hoping to get

a pussy?

"I swear to God ..." "It's not your fault, it's human.

I just wonder: it's not worth a bit of homework

before knocking on my door?

To find a nicer, more fun pretext?

I tried.

And those mediocre lines was all you got?

I admit that my preparation was kind of stupid.

But I'm the spontaneous type.

One thing is right:

my husband was best served in that area.

- You want details? - I'm not interested.

- It could be instructive. "No, each with its own repertoire.

Just one example:

I was in the beach,

swimming alone

Excuse me, I'm afraid I'm lost.

Is this the Black Sea?

Good night Sir. Gigi.

Damn bitches.

Excuse me sir.

I'm looking for the girl.

who speaks French.

Thank you very much.

"Is this the Black Sea?"

What the fuck.

Fucking hell!

You could do it again. This girl, it will never be yours again.

It's over! You're fucking her and ours, too.

Do you know what you are? Just a fucking hole in the road.

You're only good to upset the traffic and ruin the landscape!

Idiots like you ruin the image of Romania

and discourage investors.

Find a job and stop chasing skirts.

She will do anything to continue where she is.

Yes, Lieutenant.

He's following us from Bucharest.

In my opinion, this guy is not normal.

A black Volga.

I understand...

VB-OZ-VAL.

I have eleven girls in my hands, you understand,

I do not want any problems.

That's right.

We'll see what we can do.

Sir! We found him arranging fights at the train station.

He says his cab was stolen.

At where? Here in Cluj?

No, in Bravos, but that bastard was going to Cluj!

And then? Is the cowboy doing his own justice?

Shut up!

Check out Bravos car thieves.

It's a black cab, Volga.

Sorry, my friend.

I took the wrong road.

Hey, asshole!

You will only end up winning the Rally Prize!

- You think he's violent? - Do not know.

Hey, is your husband a violent type?

Yes, tell us, did he always beat you?

Never.

An intellectual! No wonder you left him.

It's the devil!

Satan is shining in your eyes.

"Yes, he is the nun's rapist-" "Hide your crucifix, he excites you."

Imagine if we had to pee.

I could go out and tweak his makeup a little.

Of course not. I want the cops to find it all.

Having fun, you little rascal?

I hope he does not have the idea of sticking my tires.

Dirty bitch!

For the last time: this is my bus. Private property.

Here I am Ceausescu. Understood.

If you touch my bus, I touch your face.

Scoundrel!

Wait!

What you want?

My car broke and I'm in a hurry.

Where are you going?

Orangeade. Money is not a problem.

You are lucky. I think I'm going there.

"What about your car?" - It's a piece of shit.

I left him.

Just like that, on the road?

I'm not married to my car, you know.

Right. The world is full of Volkswagen.

Trying to be funny. I risk losing an important contract in Bucharest.

Businessman, huh?

Is there another choice nowadays?

There is also striptease ...

I've considered that, too.

Are not you going to get past that bus?

- I can not. - Yes you can. There are no cars coming.

I must follow him.

How is it?

I can not explain. It's very stupid.

Then the rabbit says:

"I want to fuck a jiboia."

"Come on," she says, "think a little."

"Look in the mirror, you're just a fuzzy bunny."

"If you put yourself in bed with a boa constrictor, we'd have to sweep the pieces."

Stop it, can you?

Come on, it's really funny!

Listen, man ...

You're filling our bag.

I dont understand.

They told me they'd take care of him.

What you mean?

I called the police this morning.

What?

I told them we were being harassed by a maniac.

It's ok.

Let's get this straight, mr. Gigi.

From now on, slow down your initiatives.

When you have an idea, begin by discussing it with me.

That is, if you still want to open that agency in Bucharest.

Am I being clear now?

"Eat my shorts, you old witch. - What was this?

Nothing, just talking to yourself.

So I want to get her out of there and get her back home.

Then imagine that this thing belongs to you?

I suppose so.

That's comforting. I almost took it for a homosexual.

What does she do, your wife?

She is a dancer. A ballet dancer at the Opera House.

She was born to Swan Lake and the bastards want her naked.

My white swan, lowering his trousers into bars!

And she agrees.

She was stupid and signed a contract.

So you'd better forget that.

A smart guy never chases a cat.

He lets her chase after him.

So I should not be smart enough. No one pursues me.

Make lots of money and they'll come running.

Shit!

Pull over.

It's over ...

Trouble with the car?

Get out please.

Hey, girls, check this out!

Now let's conquer all of Europe.

So? And now the little bunny that wanted to fuck?

License for taxi?

Not...

No license. And this car, where did you get it?

Get out of the car and show me your RG, please.

Now you show me your RG and be quick!

This is serious, this is very serious.

You understand this is very serious.

Shut up! You got me into this mess.

Drag it to the ditch.

Hey, girl, do not take it too seriously, these things happen.

To rob the police? "No, you idiot.

He was talking about his wife.

Are you alright?

Please note that I was acting under threat.

I have nothing to do with that gentleman.

and I do not approve of his behavior.

You are a witness.

Come on, guys, take a break!

I have a gift for you.

In exchange for your service ...

I did not know which one was yours, so I took one at random.

Oh no! Anything but that! Shit!

You can marry her or use her as a hostage.

What you prefer. Good luck.

Believe me, I have nothing to do with this.

Everyone went crazy!

So if you want to go, you can go.

But let's face it:

You want to reach that bus and I want to reach my wife.

So we could also play the game. What do you say?

I do not speak your language, sir.

And I do not speak to yours and I do not play your games.

You can do whatever you want.

What? Do not tell me you're French.

No. But soon I will.

Even if you keep reminding me that I come from a non-civilized country.

And they say I'm the crazy one.

What's with this damn country?

Do you have an explanation for this, or is it another old Romanian custom?

Marion, let's try to calm down ...

I'm very calm!

I asked a simple question and I want a simple answer:

How could this have happened?

Shut your mouth out there or I'll beat you one by one!

This was a police abuse. Let's clarify this in Orangeade.

You told me there would be no legal complications.

And there is not!

So with some fucking cop for my bus and get one of my girls?

"I do not know-" "Do not tell me you were her husband!"

Something is wrong. Those two should protect us.

- Against the police? - Forget the police.

What do I mean: are we sure this whole business is serious?

I would like to read my contract again.

Just a little question, mr. Gigi:

Why did not we go by plane?

You want to get off the plane, Tanzania? No problem

You get off the bus and get on the plane. Driver, stop the bus.

I take back what I said.

All right, this is settled.

From now on, You are responsible for discipline.

Make a list of all the girls who make a mess.

I just want to see pretty, quiet girls. It is clear?

Marion! Come see it!

Felicia! Felicia!

This is witchcraft! He even used the police to get a hostage.

I'm beginning to like this guy.

Why is he stopping?

Well when it was getting exciting!

Gas!

He ran out of gas, girls.

Idiot! I should have checked before!

What are we going to do now?

Hey, Grandpa! How far is the next gas station?

How far is it?

the next gas station?

About 2 km.

Marion, let me handle this.

I know how to get rid of the bastard and get the girl back.

I thought I made that clear. I'm not a fan of his methods.

I was born in this damn country and its how it works!

Do you understand, Marion?

This guy wants a war!

Hello.

Sorry to interrupt, guys,

but would like to make easy money.

Come on, do not despair. We are almost there.

Shit!

Even when you get hurt, do you swear in French?

- And? "You're Romanian."

You have this wonderful word in your own language: "ca-cat".

It is so much more expressive, more stinky than "merde".

Think of it: "ca-cat"!

What do we do now?

We wait, that's all.

I'm doing this for you, Marion.

If there had been anyone else, I would have given up long ago.

Mr. Gigi ...

A little more and you'll ask me to marry you.

Would that surprise her?

Not really.

I can even say "I accept" ...

But only if we settle in Romania.

You are unbelievable!

What's the plan, mr. Gigi?

"What are you doing?" - It's none of your business!

Shut up!

We'll have Felicia back soon, so shut your big mouth!

This asshole sucks.

To whom are you praying?

Shit!

Fill, please.

"Are you the driver?" - Yes.

Then the passenger has to move away at least 15 meters from the pump.

Go wait in front of the garage, miss.

New regulation. For security purposes.

Based on the fact that an accident can always happen,

I would just clean those pits ...

Anyway, do as he says.

C'mon C'mon.

Am sorry. There's no more gas!

What?

It's so stupid. We just ran out of gas.

I will do you a special favor.

Come with me.

I got a can in the back for emergencies.

- What is it? "Come on, let's not be nervous."

Be a good girl And everything will be alright.

Or I'll get my tools.

Oh, you're being difficult?

Feels good, eh?

Get up and fight, man.

Show him what you have!

Come here!

I told you I like order and discipline.

I shit every Christmas and Easter of your mother's whore,

you a fucking father

and all his degenerate family ...

We will take you back and give you full service.

Let it go or I'll blow this whole place up.

May your eyes rot in a coffin

while his wife fucks in his grave.

Fuck you!

No. I want the girl in the car.

Let it go, the guy is crazy!

Get out.

- She is coming! - She is coming!

Get in the car, Felicia! In between!

All right, calm down.

We can get this right. No, do not do that.

Stop, for Christ's sake.

We're all going to toast!

At least erase it.

You there!

Bring me something to eat.

Move yourself!

Cookies?

3 boxes. Salty, if possible.

Chocolate?

Coke?

No, bring champagne. And throw it all in the car.

Do what he says, stupid!

Now you all move 15 meters away!

It's the new regulation, right?

Give me a cigarette.

"Well done, husband!" - Continues!

That's what I call a man!

Exactly what we needed now:

Stockholm syndrome.

No kidding, if my man were like yours ...

Would you have stayed home?

Dare to say that you would have stayed home.

Well, I would have folded it and put it in my luggage.

He wants to negotiate.

Are you alright?

How is Andrei?

It's my turn to make a proposal.

Return Felicia with one condition:

you spend the night in Orangeade before crossing the border.

I did not understand.

I need time for one last try. I need another night.

Just one night.

I have a deadline, Andrei.

and we are already late because of you.

Am sorry.

As soon as you check in, you'll have your girl back.

And this is my proposal.

You're fighting a losing battle, Andrei.

I really am sorry for you.

She is right.

I'm tired. Do you know how to drive?

A little.

Could you take the steering for a while?

I need to get some rest.

I feel very generous tonight. I booked a room for you.

4 stars.

Ready.

Take care, girl. And good luck, wherever you go.

He's a nice guy.

Tell us all about it!

- What do you want to hear? - Something interesting about him!

He snores.

What?

Let's get organized. Take your luggage up

and come down for dinner in 15 minutes.

Hi mommy. I'm in Orangeade.

Gianni has not called yet?

So much the worse then, if he's so slow to even call me.

I tried, but all I got was the answering machine.

I believe the time has come for us to make a small council of war.

It has to do with Dora's husband,

but it also concerns each of us as much as our little adventure.

In my opinion, this man is clinging to an idea ...

Not to a woman of flesh and blood as he can believe,

but to a specific idea of marriage and fidelity.

Are you following me?

Women like us need to prove that we can shake these concepts.

Bring it back to Earth!

Show him that he is vulnerable,

that he may be tempted.

Melt the angel wings of which he is proud.

This night has to be ... it has to be magic!

I do not feel reasonable tonight.

Come on, it's July 14th. Let's drink champagne!

Reception, please.

Ms. Lung?

Ladies and gentlemen, the band welcomes you.

The dance floor is all yours.

Our last night? Room 27.

I'll leave the door open, Andrei.

Can we dance, miss?

I'm sorry, but dancing is not my strong point.

I'm really bad at rock ...

Who cares?

You just have to shake your ass to the rhythm!

No one needs to go to college for this.

That's my girl!

In between!

I want to say thank you for saving me back there.

And I brought you something to eat.

Thanks, but I'm not hungry.

Want a drink?

Yes...

Oh well...

Just toasting.

It's Dora! I do not want her to find you here.

Sneak out as soon as she enters.

The cups!

I brought you some chicken. He must be starving.

Thank you very much...

It's too oily, I'll have to put it on paper.

What are you doing here?

I must be in the wrong room.

Like all of us.

Try not to step on your friends.

I bet he just got to borrow his hair dryer.

May I help you?

Like kicking all those bitches, for example.

Your wife...

She does not know how happy she is.

Careful, it's hot.

Thank you, Roxy.

You're shaking ...

Hey girls, bring her a warm towel. The poor little guy is frozen.

Going!

And now, my friends,

a last number to close the night

before saying good night.

Smile, Andrei. Life is Beautiful.

Dance with me.

You were almost there, Andrei.

What a pity.

This is all Marion's job! The bitch!

Dora, open it!

Do not be silly, I can explain!

Are you looking for someone?

Where is Marion? The bitch!

15!

Marion, open the door!

Or I break in!

She is not there.

So, where is she?

Do not know.

You ruined my life, you rotten bitch!

Is happy?

You ruined my life!

Do you know tango, Andrei?

It's an interesting dance.

You should study it carefully.

There is no hypocrisy in this dance.

There is no compromise.

It is a dance of winners and victims,

The expression on the face is as important as the movements.

Partners should look each other in the face with a kind of aggressive pride

who does not try to hide his suffering and desire.

Wish.

It expresses itself in the movements.

A handle.

A torture.

One terrifies the body. Every touch hurts so much.

Any attempt to escape

is punished on the spot.

The gestures are quick, instinctive and never polite.

Feelings are extreme

Love Hate

Possession ... Disgusting ...

Treat...

This dance is not meant to sail, Andrei.

It serves to settle accounts.

I'm sorry, Andrei.

I could not just let you win this.

You're very innocent.

Your innocence makes people question your choices.

Nobody needs something like this ...

They departed promptly at seven o'clock, sir.

How far is the border post?

Correspondence!

Do you still have that skinny bike?

- How far? - 16km!

They must be passing by now.

That surprised me. You can still reach them.

It's Saturday. They will have to wait in line for at least 3 hours.

We found the black Volga, VB-02-VAL.

Then the lady says to the rabbit:

"Okay, so you want to flex your muscles with a jiboia,

the customer is the boss in my house. "

Then she brings him the jiboia,

a huge, gigantic animal! And the rabbit says:

"Hi, wonder. Take off your panties."

And that coy and nasty hunk

gives you a weird look

open your mouth wide

and swallows the whole rabbit. But as he is an Angora rabbit,

a very hairy rabbit

the jiboia has a great problem in digesting it,

it tickles his belly.

"Eca"

And the hive spits the rabbit about 2km away.

The rabbit cleans itself, smiles from ear to ear and says,

"Wow, what a blow job!"

Because he liked it ...

Lung, Andrei!

Just a minute, boys, please!

I have a warrant for your arrest.

Just a second, be nice.

And then I'll be all yours!

I want to divorce!

Mr. Lung, you have been accused of car theft, bicycle theft,

public disorder, physical assault,

sexual harassment,

offense to the National Police Forces,

attempted sabotage at a gas station,

complicity with a well-known and dangerous drug dealer

and resist arrest.

You should glorify and defend the sacred institution of marriage.

for this is a gift from God to His children.

forever. Amen.

One step forward.

Servant of God, Andrei,

in the name of the Lord, receive the sacred symbol of your marriage.

Servant of God Theodora,

in the name of the Lord, receive the sacred symbol of your marriage.

I think it's time to go.

Ca-cat!

Lu Stoker - Blood Donate