Asperger's Are Us (2016) - full transcript

[train rushing by]

[New Michael]

I find it easier to make people laugh

once they start to understand me,

get my sense of humor.

But if you just ask me to tell you a joke,

well, usually, I'll probably

tell you an anti-joke, with a true story.

It's always fun,

'cause whenever someone asks,

I run away in fear.

[Jack]So, even though I'm pretty

analytical in general,

I tend not to analyze comedy very much,

just because for me, it is what it is.

You don't really need

to know more than that.

Of course, there's also a science of it.

[Ethan]The best way to be funny

is to always explain your jokes

right after you tell them.

You need to be like, "Get it?"

When I got my diagnosis 10 years ago,

I knew I need to meet more people like me,

'cause I never have.

I spent 20 years

in utter isolation and confusion.

And two is, I have to make it

so no one else has to do that.

[guitar music playing]

[Noah]When we started this

comedy troupe, all we could focus on is,

let's come up with stuff

that makes us laugh.

["Train of Thought" playing]

♪ Jump on my train yeah ♪

♪ My little train of thought ♪

♪ Jump on my train yeah ♪

♪ My little train of thought ♪

♪ I know what I have ♪

♪ Do you know what you got ♪

♪ Jump on my train yeah ♪

♪ My little train of thought ♪

♪ The season's shifting, yeah ♪

♪ But I'm cool to hot ♪

♪ Jump on my train, yeah ♪

♪ My train, my train of thought ♪

[Jack]Are there challenges? Yes.

But, it's not all bad,

and we've developed these things

which we think are very funny

and we like to share with people.

I might be here

at this comedy show tonight.

Yeah, it's great to support

people with disabilities

by just throwing your money at them.

♪ The famous people, yeah ♪

♪ They go out looking proud ♪

♪ They're standing right 'round ♪

♪ And breaking holy ground ♪

♪ The famous people ♪

♪ They got their demons ♪

♪ I got my demons ♪

♪ But in my she's believin' ♪

♪ Hey famous people yeah ♪

♪ Step on my train ♪

♪ And make a movie ♪

♪ And it will be the real thing ♪

Mom?

[laughter]

Dad?

[laughter]

You want to put me into foster care,

and then adopt some other kid?

Exactly. You're understanding perfectly.

I'm gonna go get another

one from the truck.

[laughter]

[Noah]Everyone always says,

"Oh, your name is so funny."

And I'm like, "No, we really

do have Asperger's,"

But two years or something

into the troupe,

I realized, I guess the name is funny,

'cause it's grammatically incorrect,

but I never thought about it.

Well Microsoft Word always corrected it.

[laughter]

Asperger's Is We.

[laughter]

♪ Jump on my train yeah ♪

♪ My little train my train of thought ♪

["I Love You So Much" playing]

♪ I love you so much ♪

Doing great.

♪ I love you so much ♪

Last time, everybody close your eyes.

Think about what you love the most.

♪ I love you so much ♪

Good morning, everyone. Okay.

[applause]

I love you all, thanks for watching.

[cheering]

I got shirts and bags and hair

if anyone wants to buy that hair.

It's free.

Thanks for doing that.

That was a great set!

Thanks, tight!

Never done that before.

Well, that's what she said.

All right, I'll be in the can.

That is what she said.

I was in elementary school and I saw this

video about Kenya,

and it said they run everywhere.

I was like, "Why don't we do that?"

It's better exercise,

you get there faster.

No downside.

So ever since, I just run everywhere I go

if I'm by myself.

So then everyone was like,

"Noah's weird, he runs everywhere."

And I didn't mind,

'cause I was like,

"It's better to be right than popular."

But, as I get older, I recognize,

it depends on the situation.

[PA on the train]Next stop, West Newton.

So this is my actual brain,

and one of the benefits of having a

in vogue medical or mental condition

is that there's a lot of research

that you could get paid to do,

and I did that over at MIT.

Down there, it says ANAT,

but it looks like ANAL.

It's a true story.

My old social worker Steven Hoyt

invented this.

And ironically,

it's put right over

a hole in the wall.

'Cause I used to have an anger problem

where I'd have violent outbursts

and I would break things.

I don't do that anymore.

I know that that's not okay

and I can control myself,

partly due to the six R's of anger.

For decades, I was known as Aaron.

I decided when I turned 18

to go by New Michael,

instead of my slave name, Aaron.

That's the story.

You know, many people

still from high school

still know me as Aaron,

or sometimes people have

a hard time remembering

to call me New Michael who've

known me all those years,

so I always correct 'em though.

I don't give anyone a pass,

for the most part.

[narrator] And where

does New Michael come from?

It comes from the heart.

My name is New Michael.

My dad's Old Michael.

I'm New Michael.

[woman 1] It's a job.

[woman 2] Waiter, waiter?

[woman 3] Serving somebody.

We all met at a summer camp

for kids with Asperger's.

It was like a chance for

kids on the autism spectrum

to meet other kids on the autism spectrum.

That was probably the most important part.

Myself, Ethan, Jack, all had

really big senses of humor.

We were always in the same group together.

For us, like,

you knew you were winning

if everybody was laughing.

[boy 1] You're gonna

recognize it like this.

[yells]

Noah also joined the group

to meet other people with Asperger's.

He just joined as a counselor.

[Jack]I was in a group with

Ethan and New Michael,

and Noah was one of our counselors,

and by that point, we had

pretty developed senses of humor

and like we were actually

sort of objectively funny.

Well, as objective as humor can be.

[Ethan]They became some of my really

good friends at that camp.

To a point where we started

hanging out outside, as well.

Well some of us had the idea

to start a comedy group.

So, that's how Asperger's Are Us was born.

[Noah]These guys were 17

when this troupe started,

so three or four 17 year olds and me,

and it was very much like

the work I have to do

as a camp counselor of,

I'm gonna separate you guys right now,

take two minutes and then talk

to each other like adults.

I think me and Noah definitely

are the Pauls and the Johns

of the group.

It's just like sometimes the

days of the early Beatles,

they would mistake John as

the leader of the group.

That's what's happened with us.

It would bother me more so

because it would make it out

to be like, you know,

sort of like how it was

when he was our counselor,

and like he's basically directing us

and thinking of the ideas,

and it was tough.

Maybe it bothered me more

so than the other guys,

because I was, you know,

the McCartney of the group.

But it doesn't really

happen much anymore,

it doesn't really bother me much anymore.

[Noah]We usually do

have nowhere to rehearse

and just have to wander around.

It's been three years,

you'd think we'd have

a rehearsal space by now,

but we don't.

How you feelin' Ethan?

-You okay?

-[Ethan mumbles]

What's wrong? Tell us.

You don't want to get what? Kicked out?

We're not gonna get

kicked out of the mall.

This is perfect.

No one will care if we're here.

Oh, okay, I'm sorry.

We'll go.

Sorry about that, we didn't know.

We can do it right here.

[New Michael] This is where I...

See Ethan, that wasn't so bad.

Yeah, except I knew it would happen.

I know, but nothing bad happened.

-I knew it'd happen eventually.

-We walked right past him.

It was okay.

One time I got kicked out of the store

across the street from my house,

but I was wearing a devil mask.

[laughter]

True story.

So do you guys want to

do a superhero palace show?

-Yeah, we can do that.

-No.

No?

I don't want to take any big risks

'cause it's like our last,

potentially our last show.

-I want it to end--

-[Noah] That's the worst philosophy.

You need to take a big risk.

[man] You can't record on property here.

Oh, where does the property end?

We could go on this bridge.

That might work.

Let's film in this little area

in between these cars.

[laughter]

Guys, just remember,

there's a whole bunch of sketches--

That we've never done.

That we've not only have we never done,

-but sketches, no.

-[Noah] But they're not that good.

So it's all a bunch of sketches

that we have done,

but never to a Massachusetts audience.

-There's the YMCA poop sketch.

-Yes.

There is the--

Haunted house sketch.

The haunted house sketch.

New Michael and superhero palace.

Guys, this is a really good idea.

We'll be able to do material

that we've worked on

but haven't performed yet,

and also, it'll be really, really silly.

So we need to book a palace.

[laughter]

Think about, yeah?

It's been time when we--

It's time we can finally

make the algebra joke.

[Noah] Which one was that?

I don't know. I haven't thought of it yet.

[laughter]

I always wanted to make

a joke about algebra.

Jerk!

Guys, this is gonna be so good!

This is gonna be like on the level

of like a train that Elton John is riding

in the Civil War.

[train bell ringing]

[train whistle]

You go to Boston like every day?

What?

You go to Boston like every day?

Is that why I see you

all the time on the T?

Yeah, pretty much.

You should come to what

might be our last ever show,

this August.

[woman] Where?

We don't know precisely where yet.

Do you know of any...

There's a bunch of venues we're exploring.

[woman] Nice!

We haven't decided one yet.

That's awesome. I'd love to go.

I spend a lot of time

actively avoiding people

so I can get my work done.

30 days till classes start at Oxford.

I don't know how I'm gonna do

with all the things I have to do.

I just, [sighs] literally don't know

what my priorities are.

I mean, Asperger's Are

Us is really important,

but I'm worried that

I literally cannot devote the time to it

that I need to.

It's been an interesting

ride, so to speak.

You know, when Jack was, say,

pre-school age, kindergarten age,

you know, he had gotten his

diagnosis with Asperger's,

and we weren't even sure he could handle

a mainstream school or curriculum.

He was easily frustrated

when he was very young,

and he would have tantrums.

They'd have to clear

the classroom, you know,

'cause Jack was acting up, you know?

But, as he matured,

he's come out of that for the most part.

Still he yells at me.

You know, we're like this some times.

Maybe we're too similar, I don't know.

But obviously he's doing very well,

going to Oxford next month.

One thing that's hard for me as a dad

is that I like to touch,

and Jack doesn't like being touched.

It's not so much I don't like it as

it just makes no impression on me.

Makes no impression.

But that's how I communicate affection.

And he doesn't, you know, you gotta have

the receiver as well as a giver.

I give it, but he doesn't receive it,

so it's frustrating as a parent.

Yep.

It's like feeding a skeleton.

I mean, you put something in the bones,

it just falls through.

[Tim] Exactly.

-[brother] So basically you're a skeleton?

-Basically.

-You know you're loved, right?

-Is [mumbles]

Yeah, I know I'm loved.

[laughter]

[PA on train]Now arriving

at Ipswich Hills.

This is the last time you'll see us

for a year, and maybe, you know, forever.

God knows what'll happen, you know?

Jack could get killed in England.

It's unlikely, but it's possible.

I always prepare for things like that.

That's why I'll tell him, "Bye forever."

And next summer,

we could be too busy to perform.

Other guys might have full-time jobs,

God knows.

This could be our final show ever,

so we're gonna work hard

to make it a good one.

How are you doin'?

You guys okay?

[New Michael]Yes.

So we were talking about our show.

We will have a lot more

to do than we're expecting.

No, I'm expecting it.

Well, okay.

Like, I've been warning you guys about it.

We'll have more to do than

like you don't know that the specifics are

that we'll have to do later.

What I mean is that

there will be surprises

that we'll have to do.

All good shows have surprises,

and ours will not be an exception.

Exactly.

But I think we'll have it down,

we always have.

We've always been able to do the show.

You know, one thing--

There've been a few

errors occasionally, but--

You know, one thing I...

One thing I'm gonna note,

originally before we decided to do the

superhero palace thing,

I was telling a few people, you know, this

might be our, maybe the last ever show.

Well now I'm gonna hold off on that talk.

You know, especially

my older family members

who've seen the show before

but haven't gone in a while.

I'm not gonna invite them to this.

I think that's really a terrible decision.

I don't think they'll like this.

-Like I see my Uncle Joe.

-Yeah.

-Who loved us.

-Yeah.

I see him not getting

the superhero thing at all.

I think we can make it clear.

That sucks that you think that,

'cause I think this should

be our biggest show.

I think you should promote it the most.

It might be our biggest show,

but I'm not--

I think we should promote it the most

and bring in the most people,

because it is gonna be our

last show for a long time.

I don't have a problem with it.

I think it's a good idea,

I mean if it bombs, it bombs.

It's gonna be a disaster.

It's going to be--

Don't start thinking this way.

I was born this way.

All right, so don't you dare say that.

[New Michael mimicking Elton John]

Don't run near the pool!

You'll slip and fall in!

Uploaded on YouTube is a

safety album by Elton John.

The joke about it being Elton John

is it's obviously not Elton John,

it's sort of a pretend,

pretend thing.

But it's just me shouting,

safety like tidbits,

like, "Stay close to an adult!"

Or, "Don't give your identity

to anyone on the Internet!"

Anyways, here's the album.

Watch out for poison ivy,

and check for ticks afterwards

when you're in the woods!

Stay close to an adult!

Stay close to an adult!

At some point maybe,

I started shouting safety advice,

and then I think it might have been Noah,

recommended, "Well why don't

you take all these things

and turn it into the safety album?"

And it was a big success.

One of the things

I'm most proud of, I guess.

Like most 16 year olds,

I sort of felt awkward around my parents,

and yet I still do, actually,

but probably more so back then,

and definitely in some ways,

and anyways, they were home and upstairs

in this room actually,

and I was downstairs recording it.

If I sound held back or insecure on it,

it's because of that.

Playlist...

[narrator] You feel more comfortable

with your parents now?

With my mom, yes.

There's the tour of my

broken down garage,

which I plan on replacing the door

in a couple of months.

Occasionally I have him ride

the mower, cut the grass.

His name is New Michael.

We always called him by

his middle name, Aaron.

When he was a baby growing up.

[laughter]

So, he doesn't like that name,

that's fine.

He likes New Michael.

But he always still has that Aaron name

as a middle name.

And that's my story on that part.

I kind of wish I was more educated and

smarter than what I am.

Well, I'm not as smart as he is.

I wish I was so I could

more interact with him.

You know?

I enjoy being with him,

he's fun to be with,

and he's a real good kid.

I feel like I don't do enough.

Maybe it's 'cause I work,

I always worked a lot of hours,

so I didn't really get to grow up with

both of my kids,

Amanda and my son, New Michael.

So, that's why my wife knows more

about Asperger's Are Us

and his friends.

I don't really know as much as she does,

but I'm starting to see a lot now.

[Bonnie]

They all actually met through the program,

which was kind of a last resort for me

to try to find a place where he could fit,

because we wrestled as parents

with some of his unique qualities.

Now this is one of

I guess five binders that we got

from the summer program.

So Jack said this was the

worst part of the day.

Every single day, at the end of the day,

they did a self-evaluation.

I had this strange compulsion

to be honest on these.

I think this is the sort of thing

that the average person is better at than

someone on the spectrum,

trying sort of hard

but not as hard as you can.

Like, this is why you never see

anyone on the spectrum jogging.

[laughter]

Either you want to run full out or...

Either you're going to run full out

or you want to walk.

I mean, there's no point in being

kind of, and making things

kind of difficult by jogging,

but not actually putting

your full effort in.

I mean, technically there is, but,

it doesn't appear that way to your brain,

so it's stressful.

[Laurel] So they had to rate one to five?

[Jack] One to five.

[Laurel] I think that was it.

[Jack] One to 10, I had

low self-esteem that summer.

-[Laurel] Oh was it really one to 10?

-[Jack] No, I'm just kidding.

[Laurel] Oh, okay.

This is a pretty good day.

For a long time,

the only way I could be liked by people

was by making jokes and being funny.

That's still by far the easiest way

I can relate to people.

This is my high school graduation photo.

By the time I graduated from high school,

I was voted the class,

I was voted most outgoing by the class.

Which is insane,

and I think that was because

I finally in high school

learned to use comedy.

People literally changed

their opinion of me over time,

because I learned to connect

with them through humor.

Like this is the way I learned to

cross the bridge between myself

and the rest of the world.

This is how I learned to have an identity,

by making jokes.

[New Michael]Well,

Literate Man has to like

explain to him how to form the letters,

but it's all messy and stuff.

That's too confusing!

I don't want four steps in this one joke.

So wait,

what were the two ideas you

had that were really good?

-Gandhi definitely--

-[New Michael] All of them.

[laughter]

Literate Man could run in and be like,

"Guys! Gandhi's been kidnapped!"

And then Pun Man's like,

"I would listen, but I'm not that India."

[laughter]

People keep interrupting him with like

whatever their stupid personalities are.

Whatever their powers are.

Like Bad Idea Man's like,

"Nope, I think we should

burn down our house!"

Condescending Man interrupts

and says, "Nope, it's time

to check the chore wheel!"

But also if we ever want

to save money on actors,

we can just use Invisible Man more often.

[laughter]

Darkness Man takes over the world.

Darkness Man takes over!

[Ethan] What if we actually gave someone

a coffee enema on stage?

I'm not doing it.

One of the problems with

the pilot we tried to do

was it didn't have enough of a plot.

Shut up, Contradictory Idea Man!

[laughter]

-Ethan, you all right?

-Yeah, I'm just tired.

-Guys, I just--

-He's holding the dictionary of crime.

Yes, guys--

[Jack] What are you do...

Who did that?

New Michael was not being careful.

Oh, sorry about that.

You need to wipe it off.

We need to clean this up.

-[Noah] Was it literally a major disaster?

-[New Michael] I don't think so.

-[Noah] Nah, it's not.

-[Jack] It could have been!

[Noah] It literally could have been.

[New Michael] Yeah, everything

could've been a major disaster.

Nope, most things probably never would be.

-[New Michael] It could be.

-[Noah] No.

[mumbles] The word.

Can you guys get to New

Michael's house tomorrow?

No wait.

I don't know about doing it at my house,

but no one could stay at my house--

Well, we don't have anywhere else

to do it in Beverly.

You know, I guess we

could do it at my house.

I guess I feel like I--

If we're just doing a writing session,

not a run through.

Yeah, and also my family's

more apt to leave me alone

if there's a camera crew.

[laughter]

How do you know that?

[laughter]

I've lived with them for 20 years.

How many camera crews

have you had in your house?

Well...

So do you want to do

a part in this documentary

where we all just talk shit

about each other?

[laughter]

This train leaves at noon,

gets to Gloucester,

which is the next stop, at 12:08,

West Gloucester at about 12:13.

Manchester at 12:18,

Beverly Farms at 12:24,

Montserrat at 12:30,

Beverly at 12:34.

I don't have as intricate a knowledge

of like all the mechanics of it

as some quote-unquote rail fans do,

but I do enjoy the trains,

and I know the different

systems in the country

as well as around the world.

So we are at Bear Skin Neck in Rockport.

Sometimes,

I'll come here and get a good outlet

for my creativity.

In fact, I'll stand right there.

It's a great outlet.

Recently, I've been more stressed

than I have been in the past,

but I think that has to do with

like sort of still transitioning

into like, into college, and

gaining more independence

and worrying what I'm

going to do with my life.

Like...

[interviewer] What are you

gonna do with your life?

Yeah, exactly. [laughter] I don't know.

We'll see where things take me, you know?

The next train from Rockport

has departed from Salem!

The next train to Boston

has departed from Montserrat.

What train are you taking?

Train to Rockport.

He doesn't want me to interrupt.

He doesn't want me to interrupt.

He wants to read.

That's okay.

Train to Rockport.

He's covering his ears

'cause he doesn't want me to talk to him.

Such an Aspie.

Next train to Boston!

Next train to Rockport [mumbles]

Ethan likes trains, too.

You worried about the noise?

Trains might be loud.

You wanna look at the schedule?

Next train to Rockport

in four minutes.

You like the schedules?

You wanna look at it? You can.

You can look at it if you want to.

I've spent a lot of my time

numbing myself,

because of the hypersensitivity.

I have my sunglasses

and my mp3 player,

and I'm playing songs that I already know,

and it's cutting off my sensitivity,

like it's dulling my senses in general.

And this means I can put

up with stuff a lot more.

We're hypersensitive

'cause something's irritating

us from the inside,

and our environment can

exacerbate or inhibit this process,

but it's not the underlying cause.

Something else is going on internally.

And it comes out in those

particular bad situations.

This is my diagnosis.

The actual first time I ever got diagnosed

on the autism spectrum.

You have this,

here's the good sides of it, good luck!

And I skipped home,

'cause I felt freer than I ever had,

and I was just...

It explained everything

that had ever happened to me

that didn't make sense.

20 years.

Every human being

has stuff that bothers

us more than others.

Aspies, there's certain

things that bother us

in a way that only like

true, physical trauma

would bother a neurotypical.

You know, the trauma of like

getting mugged,

many Aspies are feeling every week.

Wow, that sounds menacing!

I'm so sorry to hear that.

That's not even the half of it!

It's like, when the custom

of a woman is upon me,

I'm not even in control.

She's in control.

[laughter and squealing]

All right, so we're making

a pretend tampon commercial,

and instead of saying period,

we're saying "custom of a woman,"

which is how they said it

in the King James edition

of the Old Testament.

-Is this your sister's dress?

-No.

-Where did you--

-We bought it for...

For superhero palace.

We've known each other since

junior year of high school.

She was a senior.

And I was...

I was the cute junior girl.

[laughter]

I was the jock senior.

She was the jock senior.

And when I saw her, my ass tingled.

[laughter] So silly.

I'll take these out.

I need some water first.

[maniacal squawking]

[maniacal rambling]

-I think we have it.

-Okay, I'm taking this off.

I mean honestly, if you think about it,

it might not even be absurd enough.

[laughter]

There've been times

when I felt like I

really wanted to work on

something different creatively.

Megan and I brainstormed ideas

for our love troupe,

so I'm really excited about the hiatus.

Because we've been doing Asperger's Are Us

for three years now.

I understand the other guys are

sick of doing a sketch show.

We've been doing it for

three years, almost.

And they have the mindset that, you know,

we'll be doing mostly old material.

You can come sit over here.

And,

anyways, so I was skeptical,

I don't want to do the

superhero palace show.

All the other guys wanted to,

so I acquiesced in going along.

Well, anyways, a few days ago,

I emailed all of them,

listed all the reasons why I don't think

we should do the superhero palace show.

So I'm glad I put my foot down

and I asserted myself.

It made me feel sad in a way that

you cockblocking my creativity did

'cause it made me have to watch myself.

Don't say that.

That's a mean thing to say.

I know,

and I don't know how else to say it,

because it made me feel really bad!

-'Cause I was like--

-Well you know what?

A lot of the times,

the things you say

make me feel really bad.

For instance, when we're together

and you just in a monotone voice say,

"That's stupid," or,

"that's not a good joke."

When it's just totally not necessary.

You do this all the time, so--

[laughter] That's stupid!

Because I gave very valid reason...

If you guys want,

we can make this like our White Album,

where you come up with

a bunch of sketches,

and I come up with the

superhero palace idea,

and you guys throw

in contributions as needed to either one,

and we come together,

-[laughter]

-and then we make a full show

that's like two halves put together.

-Superhero palace and sketches?

-Yeah!

I like this idea.

Yeah, see if it's funny.

Yeah, give it a whirl, see where we stand.

Ideally we would rehearse

all day Saturday, right?

Yeah.

-[Noah] Tomorrow at your house--

-I mean I need to think about it.

Okay, so I'll see you fellas

at New Michael's at 2:45 or something.

I'm excited to do this.

You were right.

We don't have enough time

to do a totally new play and show.

And I hadn't thought about

how little time we had to rehearse.

Sometimes, the difference between you

and some people, they...

They're more humble.

[laughter]

I'm the humblest!

And they...

They think of a lot of things,

but don't necessarily think

that they're worth saying.

Oh man!

-Where is this going?

-It's yellow, so you get a double decker.

[laughter]

I get an upper decker.

Where is he?

-Bye forever, I'll see you tomorrow.

-Yeah.

Love you.

I think we worked it out.

We came to a good compromise.

And we'll see how things go.

It's not unusual for Noah to say things

that kind of hurt my feelings,

but I get over them pretty quickly,

'cause I know they're not on purpose.

And we'll have a good day tomorrow, so.

I'm very tired.

I just worked a whole week

with a bunch of Aspie kids,

and now I'm gonna continue

to hang out with a bunch of Aspie kids,

doing something that's

much more difficult.

Can I wake you up yet?

[New Michael] No, but

Jack is running way late.

I noticed, did you talk to him?

Everybody, welcome to improv 101,

because we want you

to improve yourself

101 percent!

You can't spell improve without improv!

[Noah] Oh, that's great!

Who summons the bee keeper?

[laughter]

Funny!

And the rabbi interrupts him,

and says, "Sorry to cut you off!"

[laughter]

[Jack] Oh no!

See what you did?

And what do you think,

how should the razor blade sketch end?

They're cutting themselves with razors.

God, I wish there were a less painful way

to test razor blades!

[laughter]

This is really funny, who wrote this?

You by yourself, New Michael?

Yeah.

[Noah] It's really good.

I wrote it way back in March.

Okay, so--

And remember what happens in March--

Stays in March!

[laughter]

-I'll go get another one from the truck!

-No, no, no.

No, no, no. You say, "What, already?"

[mumbles] fart?

I don't think so.

-I didn't.

-[Ethan] Yeah, I did.

That's why we got rid of you.

[laughter]

You know one thing about,

my least favorite thing about you guys

is that you smell

and you sneeze and cough.

[Ethan] Yeah, like you smell any better.

And fart all over my room.

But with all you guys here together,

it makes it, I can't even be in this room,

it smells so bad afterwards, so.

I mean, we all do it!

You do it in my house, too.

All right, you wanna do one

of these sketches, New Michael

somewhere?

Or do you wanna sit here and smell things

that you don't want to smell?

I don't, no, I...

[Ethan] Well, we're not, we're almost...

Well...

All right, New Michael needs

to take a break, that's fine.

That's really, that really like

sensory up the wall.

[Noah] Okay.

I'll stop.

All right.

Yeah, I'm feeling all awkward,

'cause my sister's home.

See this is why I can't do it at my house.

[Ethan] We gave you the option--

No, you didn't!

You said we have to,

"Where else is it gonna be?

"It has to be at your house!"

[Ethan] No, I asked.

I'm not-I'm not talkin' about you!

[Ethan] Okay!

It's been going fine, New Michael.

Do you need us to go--

I understand rehearsal's

been going well so far.

I'm saying that I feel upset.

And my sister hasn't been

home the whole time, either!

Do you need us to go downstairs?

'Cause I'm hungry, I could eat something.

I want you guys to leave.

[Noah] I'm not gonna leave.

It's 5:30.

We have an hour and a half,

we need to rehearse.

Well I'm leaving, then.

Fuck you guys!

Like I can't handle this.

All right.

Keep working on this.

That's always how it goes.

All right.

Ethan, are you all right?

[Ethan] Well, I'm not happy,

but I'm doing okay.

New Michael just gets sensitive

when his family's home.

Yeah, and well, he doesn't need to act

like it's everyone else's fault.

[mumbling]

I get frustrated, I can't handle it.

I had to leave.

I feel awkward doing rehearsals

and stuff in my house.

And now it's a little overwhelming.

You know, I just want it to be done now.

[sighs]

[Noah] I'm gonna log out,

we have to leave now.

[Ethan] Well, hopefully New Michael

won't kill us tomorrow.

I know, he's probably gonna be pissed,

he's gonna be more sensitive

than normal when he arrives,

it's gonna make rehearsal more difficult.

Later!

Didn't want to be doing rehearsal here,

and like I was having a really,

really bad sensory issue.

I guess I kind of feel like a jerk

getting upset about things, but it's like,

I mean it is really annoying having...

It's just a big inconvenience

having it at my house, that's all.

Like here's this huge,

huge prop that I wasn't

expecting to be here, but,

I'll just put it over here

in the corner, I guess.

That wasn't a good choice by me,

at all.

All of this stuff that's hard,

that's difficult for us,

this is what we get for

starting Asperger's Are Us.

Like these are challenges

we have as Aspies,

we can't do multiple things at once.

This is why we get extra credit

from people who don't

know anything about us

and just know about the

concept of the troupe,

this is the price we're paying.

So I guess in the end,

it works out pretty fair.

How many people go to the Special Olympics

'cause they want to see somebody

break a world record?

I wish more people did.

Certainly, some people there

can be really quick or

really good at their sport.

But

it is the challenges that interest them,

and this is one of the challenges

we have to face

that makes this show insane

for us to have booked.

["Why Aren't I Famous" playing]

♪ So I don't appear ♪

♪ To need your help ♪

♪ I'll look like I'm okay♪

♪ I'll tell you the truth♪

♪ I'd love to be a different way♪

♪ I love playing songs

o 20 people every night ♪

♪ But I'd rather play to packed

Houses under stage lights ♪

♪ I'd rather quit my job ♪

♪ As a professor ♪

♪ And just do this all day ♪

♪ 'Cause this is what I was born for ♪

♪ But I'm not complainin' ♪

♪ I love performin' ♪

♪ And entertainin' ♪

♪ And I make a good livin' ♪

♪ And I get the groupies ♪

♪ And some of them love me ♪

♪ But why aren't I famous? ♪

♪ Why aren't I famous? ♪

Laughter, really.

And also about

improving people's standards for comedy,

if anything, that's the takeaway message

from what we're doing.

Everyone always asks, you know,

"So the point of you guys isn't to

teach everybody that autistic people,

that autistic people can be funny?"

And like, no, that's not the point.

Like, we're together

'cause we think we're funny

and we like what we're doing,

and we want it out there.

We want to sail a flotilla to Spain.

That's really what we've

been working on for

for the last three years, yeah.

[laughter]

I'm glad you get it.

They cut that from the NPR interview,

'cause they didn't get it.

Buh-bye.

We're not trying to

connect with the audience.

Our goal is to be funny

for our own entertainment.

If you enjoy it, that's wonderful.

If you don't, I'm sorry that you didn't!

The audience gives you

positive reinforcement,

and that's awesome.

But, if they don't,

you get it from succeeding at your goal

of being hilarious for your own sake.

And so if your material is good,

and you don't screw it up live,

then you won!

And I love winning! [laughter]

Almost as much as I love swinging.

We want to sell out Earth.

We want aliens to come to the show

and be turned away because it's full.

But we're realistic,

so if the aliens get in, that's okay, too.

Well today,

I will be talking to

K-Strass on the phone.

K-Strass is back with us again

from Zip-Zap.

We thank you for joining us this morning.

All right, K-Strass, good morning,

thanks for coming on!

-Thank you, how are you?

-Good!

And you go around to schools with yo-yos?

Teaching kids about being green!

Actually, I've only

been in one school so far.

[News hosts]Mm-hmm.

And I'll be honest,

-it didn't go so hot.

-[laughter]

In fact, it was literally

a major disaster.

[Female news host]Oh no!

What I say is, you know,

life has a lot of ups and downs.

Mm-hmm[affirmative].

And...

Let's bring it back home

for a clean landing,

10-4.

Then...

Oh!

Oh, you all right?

Could we, do you have a clip?

A clip?

Like did Joe send a clip over?

No, we don't have a clip.

That's what you're doing.

A clip of what you've done before?

[Mark]Yeah.

Never forget the first

time I saw K-Strass.

Noah sent me an email

with two of the videos.

I walked upstairs to my bedroom,

and I was literally hysterically laughing

in bed and thinking about

it the rest of the night.

Here it is!

Hello!

[Mark]Is this New Michael?

Yes, yes this is New Michael.

-Is this Mark?

-This is Mark.

This is New Mark.

-[New Michael]Oh, oh great!

-[laughter]

Was your father Old Mark?

Yes, Mark Senior.

New Mark Se... Old Mark Senior.

[New Michael]Oh.

We share...

I never knew somebody else who did that.

[laughter]

No one else does that, New Michael.

Just you.

[laughter]

Yeah.

You can do the,

you know, just I'll be literally

every other character

except for Shapeshifter,

who will be K-Strass.

I just want to thank you guys

for thinking of me for doing this.

That means a lot.

I'm not...

Yeah, well, I mean, it means a lot to us

to have you doing this for us.

I mean we're all really, really big fans.

All right, talk to you in a minute.

-[Mark]All right.

-Bye.

[Mark]All right, I'll talk to you then.

All right.

You know, I almost feel

a little like giggling,

'cause his voice actually is

just like K-Strass's voice,

and like I feel silly saying,

if it makes me giggle

remembering K-Strass,

it's like I'm talking to K-Strass!

They really kind of took

to the K-Strass character.

This is a character that

you would meet in Wisconsin.

You know, somebody that

is very friendly and

discloses a little bit

too much,

and but I was really flattered

that they found something

a little bit deeper.

Hello, Literate Man.

I have assumed the shape of K-Strass,

the yo-yo man.

Wow, your shapeshifting

skills are uncanny!

All right, um...

Do you want me holding my soda still?

Yeah, sure, hold the soda.

That'll be funny.

[Mark]Warm brain, I got a brain fart, and

yeah, I just, I don't think I could go.

All right, scene!

Totally.

Definitely what you expect from K-Strass.

So, he's good at it.

He knows what he's doing.

[bright cheery music]

Here we have the infamous gazebo,

which I'm really excited to get a shot of,

'cause it has the stupidest sign

you could put outside of a gazebo.

'Cause what the hell else

are you gonna do in a gazebo?

I'm a rebel without a cause, baby!

No, I love the guys in Asperger's Are Us.

I think their positives outweigh

their negatives definitely.

We do piss each other off,

but we're like brothers.

I mean, I wouldn't really know,

having never had one.

Me and Noah started to develop

a pretty strong friendship

a little bit before Asperger's Are Us.

He would call me

and we'd talk on the phone

for a really long time,

and I was like, "Oh,

that's cool," you know?

You know, 'cause it was still like

Noah's the older counselor.

You wouldn't call your

close friends your mentors,

but back then,

Noah was a close friend but also a mentor

because of the age difference

and how much he had to teach me.

Ideally, New Michael

would be able to get a career out of this.

I would love to make a career

out of this more than anything

but if I can't, I'll be okay.

I'm really concerned what

New Michael's gonna do

if this doesn't work.

Being in a working relationship

with him though,

has in some ways makes

you know, in some ways I

think is not necessarily

good for our friendship at

this moment, at this point.

This one time,

New Michael grabbed Noah

in the middle of the night,

drove him to the beach,

threw him in the water,

said, "I never want to see you again."

Noah got back at him,

burned the house down,

they both did some jail time, it was,

it's not a moment in our troupe

we like to remember, and

[sighs] Jack, well,

the less said about Jack's

dark side, the better.

[laughter]

Sorry, I totally knocked you off base!

[laughter]

Although I know we're not gonna hang out

or talk much in the next nine months,

New Michael really is my best friend.

And has been since he was a teenager,

which is weird,

but you try and find another Aspie

who I can get along with,

and maybe we'll be best friends instead.

Their humor, I think,

is what really brought them together,

and then Noah would

extend the relationship.

I hope you guys aren't talking about me.

[laughter]

You told me to be myself!

See, see how the humor just,

it's just there!

[laughter]

I actually didn't have to say

too much of anything.

Good thing your mother's

being interviewed,

'cause she has a lot

of great things to say.

No, you know me.

I talk too much.

I'm allotted like

one question a day or something

so he doesn't like to give away too much.

So we can only get so much

information, one at a time.

That's another reason why I like that

I help get these guys around,

because I get Ethan and Noah and Jack,

and I'll ask them,

"So do you guys have a

performance coming up?"

"Oh yeah, at such and

such and such and such."

[laughter]

It's available online

for free, if anything.

Information.

Uh-huh.

Sometimes it's not,

but that's how I find

out a lot of stuff, too,

so hopefully--

[interviewer] Are you

guys coming to this show?

I don't think so.

-Where is it, in Cambridge?

-Yeah.

Why can't we go?

I don't think

we are overly welcome,

but that's okay.

'Cause we've seen them perform--

Are we welcome New Michael?

Hmm.

What time is it?

The show?

The show's at midnight,

so you guys probably wouldn't want to go.

Aww, shucks.

I'd be sleeping at that time!

Yeah.

Oh well, we'll catch

your next show, honey!

I guess that's telling me

you don't want me to go.

[laughter]

He does that a lot.

From the mainstream.

-We gotta go.

-Yes.

-Uh oh.

-So I have to leave.

-[interviewer] Okay.

-The interview's clean.

My son don't want me there.

[Noah] Yeah, I know, I know the feeling.

[Old Michael] I don't understand why.

Well, it's the same as,

you know how you're

worrying about how you're,

you know, you're like I don't

know if I'm a good father.

I think it's that same sense of

of shame and insecurity that he has

that makes him not want you guys

to see what he's doing,

'cause he just feels funny about it.

-Feels uncomfortable?

-Yeah, exactly.

I don't think it's anything personal,

it's just, you know,

you're his parents and so he's like,

that's the most intimate thing,

and so it's scary for him.

So I better not let him see me!

[laughter] Yeah, exactly!

If you hide, he'll be all right.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know?

I didn't let my mom see me play a show

till I was like 24,

and I didn't let my dad

until I was, what, 21?

22, something like that.

He tells us stories about like,

"Yeah, me and my dad hung out

throwing socks at the fan,

and it was really fun."

[laughter]

Yeah, yeah.

We do some fun things.

He loves that stuff about you, you know?

[laughter]

And those are the moments.

Those were the old days.

Oh, nah, that wasn't that long ago.

That was a couple years ago

that you guys were doing that.

Yeah, yeah, you know.

But he got that silliness from you

and it makes him such a better comedian.

Every Aspie parent seems to fear

their kid hates them or

their kid is unhappy,

and it's 'cause their

kid isn't communicating

very much with them.

That's part of the autism is

you're self-centered,

so you really want to stay within you

and not get out and

interact with the world,

which includes your

parents, unfortunately.

Is it overwhelming for you

to ride the train like this

when you have somewhere important to go?

Back and forth.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Like just back and forth is overwhelming,

but if I were just riding

the train coming to a point,

it would be fine.

I mean, transferring is not an issue,

although I do always get

overwhelmed in rush hour

'cause I'm bumping into people.

It's good you aren't in

any Chris Tucker films.

[laughter]

Doing really good, dude.

I'm really happy that we're

in this troupe together.

Very good, me too.

You are the rock that keeps us alive.

Great.

[laughter]

Pretty good.

Nice work, Cardboard Cut-out Man.

Hopefully it will be having a

grand vision and succeeding,

but there's always a lot of risk

when we do something big.

This is the biggest show we've ever done.

On a stage.

[burps]

When they get here,

we'll run through superhero palace.

Ethan, what are the train options?

[Ethan] 10:40,

because that's the only option for Jack.

[Noah] I guess.

[sighs] Way to not pick up!

-[Noah] Is New Michael not answering?

-Yep!

Okay, well,

he probably doesn't know.

Don't get personally attacked,

upset at him.

Ethan, we will work this out,

it is irritating and stressful,

just know that it will be okay.

I know, it's just...

It is annoying, I concur.

Hey, come on in.

What's up, Meaghan?

-[Meaghan] Hello.

-Hey.

Look through this,

see if any of this is unclear,

and just turn it off whenever we're ready.

And like loop it if you have to

-if we're not ready.

-[Meaghan] Okay.

Here's the lights.

This is a more readable one.

Yes, this is more readable.

I can print this out

for you at some point.

Meaghan gave this shirt to me

a little over two years ago. [laughter]

[Noah] That's important. Guys, it's 7:45.

Meaghan, what time do you have to leave?

I have to be on the 9:30 train,

so I'm probably gonna leave here at like--

8:55?

[Noah] Like an hour?

[Meaghan] Yeah, like an

hour, maybe a little less.

Okay, we have to run

through non-stop guys.

Okay guys, ready?

Everyone ready, start.

Just play the song?

Play the song at the, yeah, exactly.

Suicide Man's alone on stage.

Fine, Condescending Man!

I'll check, I'll check!

Shut up, Overthinker Man!

Yup, we're freeing Gandhi right now!

Hey, thanks Thinker Man!

Hello!

I'm Gary Dink!

I do observational comedy,

things that are funny 'cause they're true!

Audiences love sitting in chairs.

This guy knows what I'm talkin' about!

[laughter]

I'm Gary Dink!

[laughter]

-I was getting bored of doing the same.

-[New Michael] Well are were.

[Noah] Exactly!

I mean we would have gone

on a huge hiatus anyways.

I wonder how much we're

all gonna be changed

you know, in nine months.

You know, Jack, I wonder if--

Alcoholics, all three of you!

[laughter]

I wonder, you know,

especially Holistic Healing Man, but...

One thing your dad said today

is that he's really--

You talked to my dad?

He drove us to the station.

-He did?

-Yeah.

Oh, oh yeah!

I forgot that you guys were with him.

Yeah, he said he was really proud of you

for all kinds of reasons.

Yeah, I love my dad.

I hope so, he loves you so much.

-I know.

-He really does.

One special thing [mumbles]

he doesn't take our

relationship for granted.

Yeah, that's important.

He definitely used to, so.

Do you?

I got a close circle of five friends.

The Asperger's Are Us,

Ben, and Meaghan.

Five friends.

And Jack's going away,

and Ben just had a baby, so,

down to three.

Now usually I keep my

Facebook account deactivated

for all of the year

except for the month of my birthday,

which is October,

so people can write "happy birthday"

on my Facebook wall.

But, I also reactivate it

if I have something to promote.

And considering this might

be our last ever show,

I wanted it to be a good one

that I can invite people to.

I'm definitely more confident in it now.

It was a good choice making these eggs.

I hope today's a day of many good choices.

Now the,

the creeping things of the ground

and the fowl of the air will

take care of the rest.

[bright inspirational music]

[car horn honking]

I just came down here for a photo op,

and then it turned into a disaster, so.

Do you have a AAA membership?

[Noah] I do, I can call now.

We don't have this

time to spare right now.

[Ethan] Okay, uh.

Nothing bad is going to happen.

Well, the show will...

No, that won't be true.

We'll just be a little late to rehearsal.

That's the worst-case scenario.

Yeah, but how are we gonna rehearse

if Jack's down here?

[car engine starts up]

[bright inspirational music continues]

Jack untied this, guys--

[Ethan] Hey, good job, Jack.

Seriously.

Can you get the door, Ethan?

[New Michael] Is that everything?

You need Cardboard Cut-out Man.

Thank you.

Before I go,

one more thing.

Yeah?

Your shorts.

You don't need to give them to me.

They're yours to wear in the show.

I meant I was setting them--

Oh, okay.

Down, but I think I

guess I already did that.

Okay.

I have your hat over here.

I thought you had more stuff [mumbles].

The audience will probably know

I'm reading my lines out of a book, but--

[Noah] But we'd announce that you are,

'cause you're Literate Man,

that's the whole point.

Are we bothering with

this chore wheel or not?

[Noah] Yes.

Okay.

Yeah, that's for the set.

Hey, what's this?

Whose mask is this?

[Noah] Libertarian Man, but he's dead,

so it doesn't matter.

What do you call an actor

who succeeds in California?

Not now, Emilio Estevez Joke Man.

Emilio Best in the Westevez!

Will you shut up?

I'm gonna kill you one of these days.

Okay, I'll give it an Emilio Restevez.

[Noah] So this transition

should be very short.

[Ethan] Yep, it should be.

[Noah] Yeah.

I'm not sure if this is

how the dress gets put on.

I wish you guys

had addressed this earlier.

[Noah] We need to do [mumbles]

Over everyone's head.

[New Michael] Are we doing

scene 18 with K-Strass?

Are you pulling that up on the computer?

[Noah] Yes.

[New Michael] Okay, so

you're bringing it up?

[Noah] Everyone ready, guys?

And for freeing Gandhi,

Literate Man, you get one gold star!

Thanks, Gold Star Man!

Uh, is there any way

I can get a teal star?

Just 'cause I don't really like gold.

So now you?

No, then it's you.

Well no, no, no.

But wait, don't you have-

Oh, you're right.

We all know that you

want something different

to make you special,

but remember,

you're not special, okay?

So you're gonna have to

take what you can get,

don't worry about it.

Yeah, uh,

anyway, I really should get going,

'cause I have to go pick my

dad up from his blood work.

[laughter]

So, and that's over up in Oshkosh,

[laughter]

and that's gonna[mumbles]

because I'm using my

my mom's car,

which is, to be honest with you,

a hunk-a-junk.

Anyway,[makes farting sound with mouth]

I got warm brain going,

so I'll talk to you guys soon,

and maybe I'll shapeshift,

shapeshift later for you guys.

Okay, bye.

[laughter]

Remember when we made the

last video K-Strass made,

and it's him alone for the first time,

and it was us on stage with him,

and he was doing the

lines we wrote for him?

That was pretty cool.

It was a very true story.

♪ We're here at Palace Marvel♪

♪ And allow us to see superheroes♪

♪ None of us can read♪

♪ Except Literate Man♪

♪ The crimes he sees♪

♪ In a book in his hand♪

♪ Superhero Palace♪

♪ DC won't allow us to say "superheroes"♪

♪ Time is different here♪

♪ There are no women either♪

♪ No one has strong hands♪

♪ Except the Missing Bear Man♪

♪ That's how it goes ♪

Thank you.

I have $20 for two tickets.

[audience murmuring]

Okay, you think I'd be good for the doc

if I throw up before stage?

Yes!

[interviewer] You have similar faces,

are you guys related?

No.

A lot of people ask

us that, but we're not.

Hopefully a lot more people show up.

We gotta hide in the back.

Well we don't wanna sit too far back.

[Noah] All right guys,

flicker the house lights,

and then you can go take your place.

I don't think he knows I'm coming.

He doesn't know that we're here.

It's already funny.

They're a little bit, several

minutes behind schedule.

Oh, there we go!

[laughter]

Hi everyone, thanks for coming.

[applause]

We're Asperger's Are Us,

we're really, really

grateful that you're here.

It's true, we're the first comedy troupe

composed of people on the autism spectrum.

So if we're not funny,

blame it on Ethan's disability.

[laughter]

I was born with no soul.

[laughter]

We came up with this

totally original new show,

and we're gonna debut it for you tonight.

Enjoy the show!

[applause]

It sucks 'cause you

guys forgot your lines,

but it looks like I forgot mine.

It's okay, it worked.

That was really good.

Son, come in here!

Yes, dad?

It's here.

It's finally here!

Your big day, the day we've been

waiting for your whole life!

It's finally here!

What big day?

-It's your funeral!

-What?

Yay!

[laughter]

All our friends and

family are gonna be there,

and they're gonna say, "Yay, Ethan!

"We miss him!"

-Dad, have I been bad?

-[laughter]

Of course not!

Look over there, do you see it?

Yeah?

It's your grave!

It says, "Ethan, 2006-2013.

He walks with God now."

[laughter]

And do you see next to it?

Uh-huh.

It's your brothers' and sisters' graves!

Here, it's time to give you your gifts.

Here, just go on back into the fireplace,

they're in the back there,

you love wood, and

and kerosene and old newspapers, right?

Dad, it's cold back here!

Oh, it'll be warm soon.

[laughter] Dad, I'm scared,

why are you doing this?

To teach you fire safety.

[laughter]

Get out of there, son.

Have you learned your lesson?

Yes, I promise I'll never

play with matches again.

If only your brothers and sisters

had been this receptive to my teachings.

[laughter]

[applause]

Oh, I hope the president gets here soon.

This is the biggest scandal

since I don't know when.

1884?

Yeah, maybe that Maria

Haplin thing. [laughter]

Oh yeah, the Maria Haplin scandal

with Grover Cleveland.

I, this might be bigger than that.

Yeah.

[laughter]

I think the president's coming in now.

Thank you all for coming.

I believe we all know why I've

called this press conference,

so let's get right to the questions.

Yes, sir.

Why did you decide to marry a train?

I wanted to make an

honest train out of her.

[laughter]

Have you thought about the possibility

of having kids?

I just hope

that if we do have kids,

they'll be more like their mother

who's always on time,

and not like their father,

who is delayed.

[laughter]

Next question.

So,

how's your sex life?

[laughter]

I assume it's just like anyone else's.

I'll go into her and ride

her to a wonderful place.

[laughter]

Oh, like uh, like uh,

South Station?

Are you a pervert?

[laughter]

North Station!

[laughter]

First of all, yes, I am a pervert.

[laughter]

Thank you for your honesty.

[laughter]

[applause]

[making farting noises with mouth]

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!

Sometimes you just gotta

get your hands dirty!

Husband not home.

Uh-huh.

Do you need help?

I understand.

I can appreciate how women

are trying to break into

the plumbing business.

[laughter]

Noah Britton claims

he's good at basketball.

You get one shot.

Hoops!

Looks like you dropped

the ball on this one.

[groaning in pain]

I wish there were a better

way to test razor blades!

[laughter]

I'm so excited

that we're finally gonna

get to see Elton John!

Elton, ladies and gentlemen!

Ladies and gentlemen,

ladies and gentlemen!

[applause]

Ladies and gentlemen!

Stay away from danger!

[laughter]

[applause]

There's danger over there, don't go there!

I don't think this is really Elton John.

[laughter]

I see no one doing any chores.

I blame you.

Fine, Condescending Man.

I'll check!

I'll check.

Great idea, Train Schedule Man.

I like it!

No problem!

After all, the train is

the best way to travel!

Shut up!

The bus is the best way to travel!

We will ride the number

one out of Newburyport,

and transfer in Lynn to the number 47!

Bus Schedule Man!

My arch-nemesis!

You just relax.

Okay, yeah, thanks Condescending Man.

You're welcome.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

Uh-huh, yeah.

And Gandhi, for being so brave,

you get a gold star.

Is there any way I can get a teal star?

Just cause I don't really like gold.

I mean, I'll take a gold one, but...

You take what you can get,

and you shut up!

[laughter]

Maybe I'll shapeshift

shapeshift later for you guys.

[laughter]

Cleaning Woman!

Bear Man is dead!

[laughter]

[applause]

Thank you!

Thank you!

[applause]

Thank you!

Thank you all!

[mumbles]

[laughter]

[mumbles]

[Old Michael] New Michael.

What?

I just want to congratulate you.

Well thanks, Dad.

I think you did an

excellent, excellent job. Honestly.

Thanks.

-Let's switch sides.

-Switch sides?

Yeah.

This hand's,

the hand shown's the more dominant one.

[laughter]

Good job.

Thanks.

Such a great kid.

I did not expect it to be like,

they're surprising me.

If I knew they were there,

I would not have acted as well.

And it was nice,

it was nice that I didn't know

until the very end,

and you know, they all liked it.

I think my dad just enjoyed

seeing me act on stage and

seeing me be successful.

Genuinely is proud of me,

so that's nice.

That will probably make

the documentary, for sure.

Maybe it won't, I don't know.

Those are the kind of

squishy moments you look for.

[interviewer]

[whispering] Squishy.

Tonight's show was good,

and it's nights like

this after a late show

when everyone else is like,

"I'm partying, I don't

know what I'm doing,

it's Friday night, I'm partying."

And I'm like, going to

celebrate by going home

by myself.

This is the first time

I've gone on a driving tour

in two years.

I absolutely do need

to know that what I'm doing is working.

Not just for its own sake,

but there's definitely some aspect of

needing love as a human,

but also, you know, insecurity

at work.

You know, when I was 12,

I was like, "What's the best

way to get constant approval

and attention from everyone?"

Oh, I'll be a rock star.

Perfect.

And I was a natural, so that helped.

I gotta go.

I gotta go on tour.

Books,

The Bible and the Complete

Works of William Shakespeare.

Toiletries, toothbrushes six,

toothpaste five tubes,

towels two,

warm, waterproof jacket.

You're really taking your sombrero?

Yes.

How are you packing that?

I'm gonna wear it on the plane.

Hmm.

You don't put things in

suitcases on hangers, do you?

[Laurel] No.

[Tim] Typically not.

Okay.

Not a very good packer.

It's been a wonderful journey,

but I'm definitely gonna

have a lot of moments

when I miss them, when I miss

talking to somebody

who's on my own wavelength.

I'm not gonna have any,

probably any Aspies to talk to

while I'm in England.

That's gonna be really tough.

These guys are probably my best friends.

So, I don't really have

anything bad to say.

[laughter]

[New Michael]

We wanted to do something different,

and we did, and I'm glad we did.

It was more fun doing something different.

That's what being an artist is, to me,

is making new things.

I can imagine my Wikipedia page,

opening paragraph,

maybe it would say,

"New Michael the comedian."

But maybe some day it'll also say,

"New Michael the entrepreneur,

comedian, writer, director," who knows?

Maybe like the last sentence,

"And also has,

and also was diagnosed

with Asperger's syndrome."

That's how I imagine it.

This past autumn,

I went crazy over pumpkin spice

and like everything autumn-related.

Of course you did.

Just because like I missed it so much!

I lived here all my life!

I never had an autumn without New England.

It's been a year and a half

since we were together last

and a lot's changed.

I guess the biggest change for me

has been Rachel.

This internship with

the Harlem Globetrotters

keeps me pretty busy.

I'm old, but I think

I can do it, you know?

Like I got the height,

I got the flexibility.

I don't have the coordination,

but that's why it's an internship!

This interest in trains

and transportation,

you know, started as a perseveration,

but it's really become

more of a career path for me.

And I think that puts me

at a pretty good advantage.

What I like about New Michael is that

that's not what it's supposed to be.

It's breaking the rules.

It's a serious name,

it's a very cool name,

but on the same time, it's also a joke.

Originally when I got to UMass Lowell

and I started taking some of my classes,

I didn't correct my professors

and tell them to call me New Michael,

initially 'cause I was too nervous,

being at UMass Lowell for the first time,

but that's gonna change now.

It started to change at

the end of the semester,

and I'm not gonna be

afraid to do it any more.

[sentimental piano music]

New Michael the driver!

[laughter]

I prefer the lotus position,

I find it's much better for my Qi!

Namaste.

I thought Gordon was always well attended!

Sweaty Tooth was right!

No one's here!

[laughter]

-Yes, yes!

-[Noah] He fell there.

Can you write that in?

[Jack] Yes, I respect

your religious practices.

[Ethan] The most important thing

is to take it very seriously, you know?

It's a very serious business.

You can't have any

frivolity involved at all.

[New Michael]

You know, as an entertainer,

you're an entrepreneur.

You are a businessman,

and you're selling entertainment.

Just like in real estate,

in comedy, location is everything.

[interviewer] Explain.

I was just joking.

[Noah] Steven Shore,

autistic professor said,

"If you met one person with autism,

you've met one person with autism."

I hope that makes sense.

We're not all the same.

["A Complete Explanation of Life" playing]

♪ I was born knowing nothin' ♪

♪ Everyone 'round me was teachin' stuff ♪

♪ Some of which was important ♪

♪ Most of which didn't matter ♪

♪ Then one day I felt my mom ♪

♪ Become a stranger and that was fun ♪

♪ And I got out of her damn home ♪

♪ To make my life my own ♪

♪ Oscar[mumbles]♪

♪ I met so many lovely ladies ♪

♪ Then one day I found one ♪

♪ I said I would like to marry ♪

♪ When that ended I settled down ♪

♪ I've got the best deal in the town ♪

♪ A friend who really likes me now ♪

♪ And maybe will forever ♪

♪ I'll still walk to Korn concerts ♪

♪ They might be great, I might get hurt ♪

♪ And come home with lots of blisters ♪

♪ And sore muscle smiles ♪

♪ This will continue for a while ♪

♪ Til I see I'm not still a child ♪

♪ And we'll say, "Hey that was the best" ♪

♪ Until the end arrives ♪

♪ One day there will be a grave ♪

♪ With my name on it and a date ♪

♪ And underneath that it will say ♪

♪ Help, I'm still alive ♪