Ante Up (1974) - full transcript
Hands up, police!
--Moron! That ain't no laughing matter!
Queroni... watering plants?
Can't you see I'm changing the water
to my bird?
Set up all three.
Be quiet.
Take the cards.
--Who shuffles?
Rimediotti, as always.
Why always him?
--Who else?
Him and him only.
You pawned your grandma's
golden snapper, didn't you?
Rimediotti, put away the hat,
you know it's bad luck.
--Again? Put it away, please.
Leave it home already!
I feel I'm gonna lose.
--Cash ready?
--Here, salary envelope still virgin.
Who got the deck?
--I do.
5 to play.
--Got it.
Card.
Three. --Wow!
--10 to play... I got you this time!
Covered.
--Good for you!
Strong start for Rimediotti.
--We'll see about that.
8!
--First screw up...
Live and learn.
--Like if he was gonna win this...
I give up the deck, "playing well
is a crust of bread".
Deck away!
--I'll take it!
No, wait. Priority to who's already
sitting, I'll take it.
20 to play.
--Got it.
Here... here...
Rascals...
Spreafico, how's the "fifteenth"?
All too skinny... and I like some girth.
Anyway, I did my duty.
What's that you said before?
--"Hard dick, perfect fascist".
You said good!
Alright, duty is calling us!
Have you got your gun?
--I always have it... summon!
"Anti-fag squad", form two rows!
Forward march!
"Daughter I wanna give you for husband
a good fascist, yes I do...."
"So that every night, with the club in his hand,
yes I do..."
I cover 100.
Card.
I'm good.
--Fuck!
With 5 you stay, come on!
--This is just luck!
I give the deck up.
200 to play.
--I cover half.
You miserable! I'm good for it all!
--Cover the 200.
I play on trust.
--Cover! Cover!
It's not mistrust... it's the rule.
You cowards!
I have the right to some credit!
You got the right to quit.
You got bad luck, let it go.
I'll show you bad luck!
Yea, go... we wait.
Such bad luck cannot last all night long!
It just can't!
I'll show those bums!
"Cover!" To ME!
I'll drown 'em all!
What time is it?
--1 am and all is fine.
Don't bullshit me...
Come here, you loser...
only with me you gonna win...
--You shut up!
Win or lose, I'm leaving at 4 am.
I have the train to Bellinzona.
I leave at 3, as usual.
Be careful, Migliavacca... I saw
Spreafico and his squad around.
What's he got to do with me?
Here he comes...
Let's see who's gonna steal these!
--You gonna wear those stairs out tonight...
100 to play.
Got it.
Card.
7! 200 to play.
Card.
One.
Now what?
Now you pay for the table
cause this is a public place!
The "cagnotte", gentlemen!
Plus the extra for the reserved room!
10 lira each, it's 70 lira!
Cover! Cover! Bets are overdue!
It's the rule, the fee is due.
That's a stupid rule...
We're gettin 'em back anyway...
--It's the tone what bothers me...
I pay my part... and leave.
Yea, go... he's got some pants to try on...
OK, let's move on.
Damn tailor... he's got no right
to leave with my money!
There's the right of the heart and the
right of the ass... and he's giving away the second one...
Just play, Camola.
--400 to play, who covers?
I cover 70. --Not me.
--Still 330 to cover.
Not with Sberzi... tonight bad luck
is attached to him like a stench.
Then it's 70 to play.
For you... for me.
Card.
I stay. --9! You thought you were gonna
teach me cards, you hillbillies!
Back in London, I wiped clean
many a Lord!
You wiped many a toilet clean in London...
--Like I'm gonna wipe your pockets
clean, you shitheads!
140 to play!
--Covered.
Card.
Here's the steak!
Nine!
Sir, you don't know how to behave
at the table... you have to know...
...I played with Edward VII when he
still was Prince of Wales and I tell you...
Eight.
Your damn luck...
Luck is female... and she likes to
sit on something hard...
Like if he's the only hard one around...
--50 to play. --Covered.
Eight. 100 to play.
20. --10.
--Can I play on trust?
I stay.
7. --I got 6.
--Can I play on trust??
Shut up already!
--Enough!
Enough! Go away all of you!
You're a bunch of cheaters!
Out of here! All of you!
No more playing at the Metropol!
Stay here and don't move!
"Venice" has gone insane.
--Nutjob!
Silence!
Scatter! Move!
Hey, what will you pay me for
this fancy stuff?
I don't need a skinned rabbit.
It's beaver! I paid good money for this!
I'll give you 200.
--The hell!
Alright, 250.
--No way! Go higher!
Let's go to sleep already...
--No! Now we stay and play!
300.
Playing is a vice... and for a vice,
as for a son, you do anything.
It looks good on you.
--Is it worth?
It is... it is...
It seems tailor-made for you,
by Migliavacca himself maybe.
Fancy, isn't it?
I can even go to Milan with this.
Alright, let's play now!
Who's got the deck?
--100 to play.
Eight.
Nine.
--Nice one!
200.
I stay.
Seven.
Enough... it's like hitting
someone while he's shitting.
Why enough? Tonight I got the hammer
and I use it.
--Right.
Attention! Salute! Stand easy!
--Hey!
Trump players, you gonna go to jail!
What?
--The patrol is around!
Guards... men with boots!
I already got a warning!
Everyone in the rooms!
They won't believe we're customers...
--Doesn't matter, as long as we're not
caught playing!
Camola, help me!
I got a bad leg!
Come on...
--Yes, good boy!
Quick, they're all empty!
17, 18 and 19!
He's gonna charge us for the rooms too...
Keep the lights out!
Lights out! Lights out!
You go in room 16!
Damn perverts! Get 'em!
Good Lord!
He's running!
--Get the other one!
Take him there, under the light!
This scumbag!
Vicious scumbag!
Like that! Take 'em off!
Didn't mommy tell you the ass
is for shitting only?
I was just passing by!
Is that right?
--I was just walking... humming...
Humming, huh?
And who's the other degenerate?
Just a guy passing by...
He was passing by and ended up inside you, huh?
Ready?
Good... don't worry, it's a simple
disinfestation...
Quit crying, we're doing this
for your own good!
Out of here! Get lost!
Don't ever come back to Luino!
Here we do things in front, not in the back!
Let's keep on sweeping!
On the march... who doesn't march, may rot!
What a pain in the ass... all this mess
just for one poof.
--Who was that guy?
I don't know... probably some
visiting butt from Switzerland.
Hurry up you leeches!
We have a brand new Italian tragedy:
the torch in the ass.
With 5 you stay... what the hell...
Come on, in the basement!
Time is money!
It's the train to Bellinzona!
--No way! No excuses!
Nobody goes nowhere!
Now you gotta keep playing!
Crooks! Cheaters!
With you, one must keep
the knife under the table!
What the hell!
I gotta go to the station!
What shall we do with this nutjob?
Out of the way!
Come back! Banks are about to open!
I'll fill your asses with cash!
Look at this!
--We'd make a great fountain in midtown!
Try not to flood the lake!
--It's late, Camola... we have to go.
Where are you going?
--Come here!
"Who doesn't pee along,
has done something wrong"!
Time to work, Bronzino.
Bertinelli, we gonna need
absolute silence now.
I brought the professor,
"master of water".
Always having a good time you...
make it quick, I'm about to leave.
You go... "work will ennoble you"...
Still closed... come, I'll show you
the hydraulic situation.
Here we have a drain pipe...
here another one...
Here is the siphon,
behind it's the toilet bowl.
You stay here and listen,
I'll check the balcony.
--Don't worry.
Be careful.
--Yea!
Holy Virgin, she's up!
How beautiful!
My Ines...
Ines... back inside!
Regards, Cavalier Tritapane.
Pain in the ass...
What eyes... what skin...
looks like the statue of a saint...
Camola! Come here, I heard a noise!
It's her... she's in the bathroom.
She turned on the light... closed the door...
She walks... 2 steps... 3...
Lifting the seat!
Pulls up her nightgown, bless her!
She's sitting down!
She's peeing! She's peeing!
"The chant of the muff"!
She's gotta have at least
one pound of it!
Ines... my Ines...
she's singing... singing...
So, what do you say?
So?
--She gives it away.
The chant of "rima pudendi",
known since the middle ages...
...is modulated by a precise
anatomic condition.
If there's traffic inside the "vestibulum vaginae"...
--What you mean "traffic"?
You know... "traffic"...
a steam is formed, a canal...
And the flow gushes and twists...
It's almost like a gentle gush in
the untouched virgin...
More decise in the used woman...
A waterfall in the overused.
Hers wasn't a waterfall!
She's used anyway... maybe not full-time...
let's say once a week...
When her brother-in-law, Cavalier Tritapane,
doesn't show up at the cafe like every other night.
This is not a diagnosis,
this is gossip!
A gossip that went on for 6 months...
"vox populi"... becomes history.
What racket!
Auntie, the photographer
looked at your bottom.
What crazy idea!
--He did.
We won the battle of the Adamello!
Look who's here, Sandrina!
Miss Ines...
Attention! Salute! Stand easy!
Have a good day, Mr. Brovelli.
--Thank you.
Good morning, Miss Ines.
--Morning.
Don't insist, we have to be home by noon.
Have a good day, Miss Ines.
You didn't sleep last night, Peppino.
Hey!
--Who... me? I slept like a log!
Playing cards is not a sin...
telling lies it is.
Say one "Pater, Ave, Gloria"
before leaving.
Morning, father.
--Morning, Miss.
Our Sandrina has come to visit
the Holy Mary?
I love St. Anthony, Jesus and all the saints...
And I hate Satan and his temptations.
Is she going to Sunday school?
Getting ready for her First Communion?
Yes, she's so diligent.
There's 7 deadly sins: pride, envy, lust...
Let's think of the virtues first.
The three theological virtues are:
faith, hope and charity.
I'll give you a book for your
spiritual exercises.
Does the horse have the habit?
--Yes he does!
Then it's redhibitory action.
--What?
The habit is indisputable.
--What shall I do?
--Leave everything to me.
Alright then...
--Mr. Camola! Better late than never!
We just finished, type these letters for me.
Then we agree... what the hell
are you doing?
What's that thing??
--Something I need.
But it's dangerous!
--It's gotta stay there, otherwise how could
I nail women with my bad leg?
I thought it was here to plug a hole...
That's right, to plug holes!
Wanna see how?
One... two...
Three!
Like this and this...
get it now, numbskull?
Oh I see... holes!
I'll see you.
--Bye.
Those letters must be on the train to
Bellinzona, you'll take 'em yourself to the station.
As soon as you're done.
My pleasure.
--See you.
Hey, Queroni!
--Hey, Camola... you're late!
You missed the Milan-Basel-Paris...
a beauty, completely packed!
It stopped for almost 3 minutes,
such beauties in the dinner wagon!
Even an Indian, with a red stamp right
in the forehead!
Parietti made me work late, dammit!
These must go on the Bellinzona train.
Hurry up! It leaves in 5 minutes!
--Bye, Queroni.
Hey, post guy! Wait!
--Hand it over.
Careful with those.
--Yes, yes...
Let go of me, or else I'll tell your brother!
--Let her go!
Go away, if punishment you fear, wicked child!
I'm telling you beware, Francesca!
Today you're dooming yourself!
Ouch! Damn!
Aurelia Armonio, leading actress of the
Dramatic Society of Val Marchirolo.
Delighted.
Tolini Mario, secretary...
my pleasure.
I play the "tragic lover" roles.
Seemed more tragedy than love...
It's always tragedy in the fifth act!
Love is in the first four...
--Yes...
Kiss my eyes, my temples,
my cheeks, my throat...
Like this!
Hold my wrists!
Turn my soul upside down!
What are you doing??
How dare you??
I was upsetting the soul...
Fool! Who do you take me for?
Why are you crying now?
I'm sentimental, shy, bashful...
Don't be impatient!
Flesh must be handled first!
We're getting going...
--Not yet...
Not us... the train.
The train already left,
this wagon stays here.
What yo mean "here"?
It's not possible!
My play! Good Lord!
I have to be at the after-work of
Val Marchirolo by 8!
I'll take you on my sidecar.
How nice...
Call me by name...
Let's go.
Quick, I'm late!
--Almost done.
God... I'm so excited...
Come on!
You look just like a great artist!
My god! The excitement is upsetting me!
Give me the vase!
--This?
No! Behind the mirror!
--Ah... the bedpan...
Come on, hurry up!
Help me out!
Keep it up or I'll get
my chiffon all wet!
What are you looking at, you nasty boy...
Big boy... what are you dreaming of?
Aurelia... what I just heard
overturns the study of a lifetime!
My friend Rimediotti has been
developing a theory for 60 years...
Based on your "psst", according
to him, you should be an 8 years old virgin!
Don't worry... mine is a special "thingy"...
I hate vulgarity!
I managed to make an elegant thing
of that.
My "psst"... I adjusted it...
educated it...
My pee acts!
Aurelia! You're on!
--My God! Here we go!
Let go of me or else I'll tell your brother!
Go away if punishment you don't want,
you wicked child!
I'm telling you beware, Francesca!
Today you're dooming yourself!
Take me!
I'm no longer alone!
Now there's two of us!
Take me!
Together we'll ride the fiery steed!
Yes! Ride! Ride!
Damn you're hungry!
What does your husband do at night?
The poor man walks... he's a
railroad keeper...
Railroad?
10 miles every night, back and forth
checking out the railroad.
There he is.
A material man!
Don't look!
Don't look at your daughter that way!
Don't look at my adulterous shame!
Don't condemn me!
You know how Costante treats me!
He just walks!
Here's my ruin!
My desperation!
My joy!
You never got me, Costante!
I'm an artist!
I need to express myself!
Yea! You never got her!
You never got her!
You don't know what you're missing, Costante!
I got you this time!
You're a disgrace!
I'll show you!
Guess I'll be on my way now...
Unhand me! Let me go!
I wanna leave you!
You disgust me! Whore!
I'm gonna get you and kill you!
I'M AT CHURCH.
Hey... did you play last night?
Move over!
What a face you got!
Did you lose?
I had my Communion... I'm filled with Grace...
You're obviously not used to it...
be careful, it could harm you.
So, who won last night?
We didn't even play!
Sberzi shut down the joint for good!
We gotta fix this situation...
if we can't even play anymore...
What are we gonna do tonight?
The holy water...
"St. Anthony of the piggy"...
make me screw Miss Ines!
Goodday!
--Hurry with that ice!
You're getting the floor wet!
What's it gonna be?
--A whitey.
Giovanni, white wine for Queroni!
That jerk Sberzi doesn't even
say "hello" anymore!
He wants us to beg him...
I bet he's dying to play.
Listen... If we talk to him politely, maybe...
Why don't you try and talk to Sberzi?
We won't find a better place than his basement.
Let him heal his wounds before.
Anything to hold some cards and send
away boredom and bad thoughts!
Mrs. Wilma, why your husband
don't wanna play anymore?
Maybe, at night, he likes me
better than cards...
And I also like my husband in bed
better than in the basement.
He's not that great,
but I don't have a substitute...
The town is full of "spare parts"...
What are you drinking?
--A whitey.
Where it went?
--Under your heart...
Giovanni, white wine for Mr. Camola.
Come, I'll buy you coffee.
One coffee and one beer.
--Spreafico, how about one "goriziana"?
Why not... but I warn you, playing with me
is not like shaving priests.
I play too!
--How about you?
--Me too!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5... I start!
Set the pins!
Good one, Peppino!
--Here they come!
Nice!
My turn, Camola.
To you!
To you, Spreafico.
Tough shot.
It's safer to grab the ball
and give away 3 points.
You grab your balls!
You know what?
I'm gonna play it asswise.
What's funny?? This happens to
the ones who got some balls!
If they hurt you can pull out...
--I don't pull out! I always go forward!
Excuse me, Spreafico... this shot is
impossible without the extensor...
The word "impossible" is not for me!
You wimp! You put the ball
there on purpose!
No way! I wouldn't dare...
How can I go out with my pants like this??
I can fix those in no time...
--Forget it!
It's a matter of decency....
--Alright but be quick!
Did I sting you?
--No but be careful anyway!
Hury up!
If you keep shaking...
Alright, I won't shake... but hurry up!
Enough! Enough!
Excuse me...
--Excuse my ass!
"I'll guard my country, but
may God guard my ass"!
Shut up, you wimp!
Hey, "ball workers"! The new fifteenth
is coming! Let's go!
Calm down!
--Alright... I'm calm...
Good job!
--Forget about goriziana...
I wonder if Tripolina is back.
Is Triestina there?
Attention! Salute! Stand easy!
Hey, what are you doing?
You can't bring that inside!
Leave the bike outside!
Shut up, woman! This bike entered Trieste
and it may as well enter a brothel!
The bike can't stay here!
--Calm down, woman... look!
1, 2, 3!
Folds like a chair!
This is not a garage!
Oh, what do I care!
Look at that!
Here I come!
How beautiful! Reminds me of
Mount Grappa! Sounds good too!
That guy's head doesn't work right!
--He hasn't come here to work with the head...
Be quiet you!
So, what are we gonna do?
--Take him upstairs, will you?
I'll make you die with pleasure!
--Forward, Savoia!
Brovelli!
Behave, ok?
Of course! Attention... salute... stand easy...
Let's go, beautiful!
Ma'am...
Mammarosa... can I have a word?
I came all the way from Bellinzona...
Here comes the Swiss!
I came to ask you
to go upstairs with me...
Just a Swiss idea!
I retired 20 years ago!
Can't you see I'm big as a mountain?
You'd look like a mouse on top of a cow!
But...
I'm well hung, you know...
Let it go! For me, the bell tower of Carmine
wouldn't be enough!
It's odd... it's been nice with you...
Usually it's like putting an ear plug on.
But it's nice with you...
why don't you do the whole night?
Come on... you tell that to all clients...
It's true! See how I fake it?
I wasn't like that with you, was I?
Is this a priest?
--Yes, he's my brother.
Your brother's a priest?
--So what? He was ordered 3 years ago.
I was gonna become a nun myself
when I turned 18.
Then I said to myself: "Me? In seclusion?"
Here instead it's all about freedom, huh?
Hey! Stop teasing my ass!
Ass? That's an idea...
You know what? I'll spend the night after all.
--Finally!
No!
--What you mean "no"?
Not on the mouth! It's disgusting!
--Come on, you nun!
Don't get offended... I just don't like it...
But I need some help
to get back in the mood...
I'll take care of that,
I'm good at my job you know! Turn around!
Where are you going browsing, you devil?
--Concentrate!
Camola, come here a moment.
Hey, Mamma.
Go out the back door or I'll get trouble.
Whole nights aren't allowed anymore...
I made an exception for you.
Have a cigarette.
--Thank you.
My "big nose"!
You couldn't sleep last night?
Love pains keep you awake?
I wish... just pains...
You're in great shape, the picture of health!
I used to...
Holy cow, Mammarosa!
If you fart into a bag of flour,
Luino is gonna be foggy for 3 months!
"Pants of Migliavacca Giuseppe...
tailor, conductor and faggot..."
"...caught in the act in the
Garibaldi Square urinal."
They caught Migliavacca!
--Insane!
You think they arrested him?
--No, they probably burned his ass...
Wait...
--Poor man, what a shame...
What's he gonna do?
--Mind your business, go to work.
Let's go, Bronzino!
"I CAN'T STAND THE SHAME. SORRY."
Stop, Migliavacca!
What the hell are you doing??
Wait... here...
Have you lost your mind?
Doing such a thing!
What a scandal! What a shame!
It's nothing... tomorrow no one will remember...
No, too much shame... I'll never be
able to see nobody...
I can't go out... I can't work... it's over for me.
Come on! Tonight we gonna play!
Rimediotti opens a joint in his brother's house,
we're back playing!
No, I can't go...
Stop it! What you think you've done?
It's the oldest thing in the world!
How many have done that?
Socrates, Leonardo, Julius Cesar...
Even Julius Cesar?
--Yea!
You're in good company... it's also the
Cardinals' favorite passtime...
Next time you take 'em off,
make it indoor...
It was all a setup by Spreafico!
Yea, you keep saying that in low voice,
maybe the others will believe it...
Let's go get some air.
Come!
--What?
What a woman!
Look what you're missing!
Isn't the most beautiful ass in Lombardy?
Yes, it is...
Come in!
May I?
Morning, Mr. Tolini.
--Ines! Miss Ines... good morning!
I have to give you this...
--And the kid?
--She's not here...
Please, have a seat!
--No, thanks... I just gotta leave
these papers...
It's from my brother-in-law,
Cavalier Tritapane.
I'll take care of these... we will.
Then, since we're in good hands,
I might as well go.
No! Just a moment!
I gotta give you a receipt, have a seat.
Thanks.
It's so calm in here...
Feels like we're not in town anymore.
So quiet...
Just how I imagined it.
--Really?
You been thinking of my office then!
Sometimes... passing by...
You can hear the typewriter from the street...
it's loud.
Miss Ines... there's no need for the receipt.
I...
...gotta tell you something...
What?
I've never been to Milan!
It' a shame... it's beautiful.
--One day I'm gonna go and see it all!
Not even I know it all...
I was in a factory sowing purses all the time.
But here in Luino you're a lady...
you could visit around town.
Well, when my brother-in-law is out for business
and Sandrina's at school I'm free...
We could go on a tour in my sidecar!
--We better not...
People already talk enough behind my back.
In Milan I was a slave to work,
here they all look like they wanna eat me alive.
The city is alienating, but at least
they leave you alone.
Here, I can't have a normal life.
Everybody's looking at me.
Should be a good thing, but I always feel
like I'm in a shop window.
Then the gossip about me and my brother-in-law...
No! You are the sister of the deceased,
no one can say bad about you!
I came in his house out of respect
for my poor dead sister.
And for Sandrina, left without a mother...
You're a saint! Let me say that loud!
If YOU'd say that, who knows what
they would think...
They'd think...
Well... that I... that you... that us...
Wait in there!
But...
May I?
Hey, attorney!
Here's Giustina!
Morning.
--Nice to meet you.
This is a bad time actually...
--She's a very smart girl! She went to school!
Have you got a job for her?
You both promised me...
Of course, it's all set!
Parietti talked to Dr. Guerlasca.
Where is it...
Here it is! Go to his office
in Garibaldi Square and you'll be hired!
Great!
--You're a friend!
I'll get you something for that...
--No, thanks!
I owe you then! --We do!
--I'll see you, nice to have met you.
Miss Ines!
Miss Ines!
Ines...
Please, leave... we shouldn't have...
I feel ashamed...
What have we done wrong?
We were going along so nice...
You opened yourself to me... and I always
looked for a worthy woman...
I thought... I hoped...
--Are you crying??
A tissue...
What's wrong? You got a cold?
It's you... when we're close, I feel
something rising... rising...
I do this to you?
--Yes!
I've never met a woman like you...
I only imagined... dreamed...
I'm just a housemaid...
No, you're not!
You're Venus!
The Holy Mary!
Be quiet! The priest could come!
Please, leave...
Only if you promise me something.
--What?
That we'll meet again.
I can't...
--At the office... just me and you...
Maybe...
--When?
I ain't promising nothing.
Next week, maybe...
--Maybe...
10 lire for the room, half for the light
and 1 for using the toilet.
Hey... 7 coffees is 1, 40 lire...
Coffees are on me!
--Alright then.
I'll sign those to you. --Of course!
--Plenty of water, please!
5 to play!
--There's an old saying about coffee...
For you...
--It's better to start slow...
"Coffee must be sweet as love,
pure like an angel..."
"Hot as hell and black as
some people's soul."
Flora! Go to bed!
Pietro, you too come.
7! --5.
--20 to play!
See who's wearing pants here?
--It's the last time!
Is it good?
--Yes, it's good!
If I don't play alone, I lose!
Who's there?
--Nothing... just Clementino.
There he is.
100 to play. --Evening... hi Camola.
--Good night.
Carluccia...
Good evening.
--Evening...
Card. Three.
Your dumb luck!
--That's right!
Rosetta...
To you... to me...
Good evening.
--Evening...
Who's playing?
What a fine family...
--You can say that loud, Queroni!
Rosetta is a pearl...
--Pearls are good... you thread 'em both ways...
What are you saying??
--Nothing!
25 to play.
--Covered.
Good evening.
--Hi, Andrea.
8! 50 to play.
--Me again.
Bye, uncle.
--Bye.
How many grandkids have you got?
--Nine.
Seven! --What?
--What are you doing?
He meant nine grandkids!
Play it again!
Not my day... with your permission,
I quit the table.
Ok, Ok...
--I'm leaving.
Yea, you go...
Migliavacca, listen...
What do you want?
--Still 50 to play.
I'm in for 15.
Very smart, after what happened...
I won't be around to save you next time...
Two! Passing the deck.
50 to play.
--I take the deck.
Eight!
Morning, Camola... morning, uncle.
--Hi.
100 to play.
--On it.
Morning...
Hi...
--Card.
What a hand!
--Nice to sleep in roses, isn't it?
Deck here, 100 to play.
--I cover.
--Not me.
Morning, everyone.
Hi, uncle.
--Hi.
I stay.
8!
--I knew it...
I pass the deck, he's not gonna last...
We'll see about that...
Hi, uncle.
--It's morning then...
Bye, everyone.
--Bye, Flora.
Well... we burned away one more night,
we might as well go home.
Yes, it's better.
--Let's go.
Gather round! Come on, hurry!
Line up! In order!
I brought the kid...
--A little late...
Tritapane Alessandra!
--Alright, get in line.
Miss Ines, good morning.
Are you leaving already?
I'll just go to church for a minute.
--Good.
Today is a great day for Italy and Italians,
everyone must be here.
I'll be on the stage with
Mazza Turconi, the federal.
I'll say my prayers and be back.
--Right! Church and Country!
God and The Duce!
What a filly...
One! Two! One! Two!
Cheers!
That slick Camola put on the black shirt!
--He's gotta be plotting something...
Brovelli! Where's your black shirt?
--I'm having it cleaned... here!
Two steps forward!
"Private Marchisio, private Perotti,
private Orlà..."
Oh, right... he's dead too... I forgot...
He was a good man, a friend of mine...
"NCO Amedeo..."
"And for Benito Mussolini..."
--Here come the billy clubs!
Let's go to the parade!
"Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!"
--Hey, are you crazy?
Forward, Savoia!
--What Savoia.. salute The Duce!
--He hasn't got a black shirt either!
Take his jacket off!
--Now you gonna wear this!
Put on this! Today whole Italy
wears a black shirt! It's Rome's Christmas!
Do you understand?
--Hey! What are you doing?
Say "Viva The Duce"!
--Don't you see he's just a loony?
He's a saboteur!
--No, he's a war veteran!
In '18, on mount Carso, a bomb
flew right between his legs... right, Brovelli?
Yea! I lifted my leg and it went right under it!
Or else, bye-bye binoculars...
Viva Fascism!
What's this racket?
--Nothing, nothing... it's all right.
Hey, nutjob!
I'm gonna kill you!
Wimp! Subversive! Bolshevik!
--I'll send you...
Don't get mad, he's crazy!
--I'll take care of him...
Private, Brovelli! Attention!
Salute the King!
He's gonna stay this way for a while,
the parade is safe, let's go!
On your places!
--Mazza-Turconi is arriving!
To the dock, quick!
--Alright!
Duce! Duce!
Duce! Duce!
For Comrade Mazza-Turconi...
eja eja... alalà!
For Benito Mussolini, Duce of Fascism,
eja eja... alalà!
Viva Comrade Mazza-Turconi!
Ines!
--I just came to...
Here we are.
--Isn't there a balcony to talk from?
There's the "arengario"...
--Very well! Let's all go there!
But Garibaldi Square is large, and people are few...
--Doesn't matter! Let's go there!
Yes, sir!
Comrades! Young fascists! Little Italians!
The parade moves to Garibaldi Square!
Gather under the arengario!
Let's go, comrades!
Put up the flag, hurry!
To us!
Come on! Stay together!
Viva comrade Mazza-Turconi!
Excuse me for a moment,
I'll go powder my nose. --Yes.
The hills from which the
Roman eagles flew... comrades!
What's that man doing?
Arrest him! Beat him up! Shot him!
Squad! With me!
--Let's get him!
Ines!
The fascists are here!
--Patience, I'll be right out...
Open the door! Subversive!
Knock the door down!
Search all the rooms!
--I'll check the other one!
Wait! Over here!
You show us your front
and I'll break your behind!
Search everywhere!
There's a woman too.
--Give me that!
Dammit!
Hey! This looks like Ines' ass!
It is!
Dammit!
--Look in the bathroom!
Viva!
Who dares doing this to the Country,
the Duce and to me?
Another insult, Your Excellence!
God bless you...
Dress up this woman and bring her
to the headquarter!
Brovelli! Brove...
Private Brovelli!
What you're doing still there?
Go home, war is over!
Ohi... my arm!
Nice shirt... good fabric...
shame it's black...
What a surprise!
How are you, Mr. Tolini?
Mr. Tolini is my father... I am Camola.
It's you.
--Morning, doc.
Have you got 2 minutes for me?
--Yes, come in.
Something wrong? --No, nothing...
--What's new?
Tell me.
Maybe you heard about... April 21...
I haven't felt well ever since,
I got fever all the time.
April 21... a memorable date, even for
your private life, dear Tolini.
Yea, it could have gone better...
let's hope in the future...
Your future's not very bright
in that sense...
Why?
The dart of destiny hit you right here.
It's a simple fever, isn't?
--I'd say no, considering your many friendships...
Giustina, a slide.
I got bad news for you, be strong...
Cavalier Tritapane had syphilis.
And considering what you shared,
even only for one time...
On April 21...
I say this is a syphilitic ulcer.
--What?
Worst thing that can happen to a man.
Syphilitic ulcer?
--But if we act quick maybe we can block it.
Block it! Block it!
--So, an aggressive therapy right away.
Then a cyclical therapy, every 6 months
for three years.
Me with Ines... my God,
don't let it be true!
I knew it, the little fellas are there.
--Little fellas?
How many! How they move around!
I got syph... sy... the little fellas!
Morning, Mrs. Wilma.
Are there any glasses here?
Some water, please.
Nice move... with all the town had to offer,
you picked just the right one...
Lot of hand job for you now...
--Aren't we sophisticated this morning!
Camola! Come here, we play some cards!
I gotta wait noon before going home anyway.
My parents still don't know
that Parietti had to fire me.
Forget about it and play.
--Easy for you to talk...
I have constant fever and all the
injections are wearing me out.
That jerk Tritapane... lucky for him
he has gone... escaped in fact!
Coward... giving that disease
to Ines and me!
Syphilis, terror of terrors!
A name that shakes dicks, asses and hearts.
Think it this way, it's the disease
of the nobles, of the heroes!
D'Annunzio also had it.
Really? --Of course!
He even said it... "I have what I have given".
You know how he healed?
--No. --By raping a virgin.
He raped a virgin... --Yes!
--Come on, now!
They say it changes your blood...
a virgin's blood is purifying!
You know everything... you had a good life,
Côte d'Azur, Beariz, South America...
And Constantinople, where I was
friend to the Gran Visir.
He wanted to make me pasha of Scutari.
Old times... not like these ones,
grey and without air.
If you're born in such a small village...
--You never know in life...
You might suddenly bloom like
a plant in springtime.
You're young, with everything still in front...
Starting from your dick.
Old age is the only true screw-up.
"Jacks drop their spades..."
"And Queens drop their flowers."
Here you go! --No, it was my turn!
--No, it was mine! -- Mine!.
Come on, it's nothing.
Did you feel the needle?
--No, I felt the slap!
You deserve the slap... if you had come
here you wouldn't be sick now.
A man also needs sentiment...
and it's not on your price list.
Sentiment screw you up good this time.
Not sentiment, that was worth it...
with Ines I've known tenderness, love...
The screw up is this thing here!
One day I'll just cut it off and feed it to the dog!
You're not making any sense!
Everything passes, you know!
Forget that jackass, Dr. Guerlasca...
I'll give you a good number.
Go see Dr. Ferri. He's from Milan, like me!
He's a true professor!
How can I go to Milan now?
Think of yourself, stupid!
When you work down there,
everything else is fine too.
It was the right coat for Milan...
Imagine me, strolling in Milan
with a girl and that coat on...
instead of this thing...
It's still yours! When you return me
300 lire you get it back!
Are we ready?
--Yes!
--Come on, then!
Come on!
--We're on our way!
--Ok!
Morning, Mr. Queroni... hi Camola.
Are you going to visit your boyfriend?
No, I'm going to Milan for the "pre-littorians".
My girlfriends are waiting... bye, Camola!
Bye.
If that's what we got for the future...
--Yea, she's kinda ugly... but at least
she's "fresh meat".
Hey! It's leaving!
Take care!
Keep us up to date!
Right here... my doc found the "little fellas".
"Little fellas"... as if they were pets...
The “pale spirochete” is no longer there.
Then the therapies worked!
I'm cured!
The "therapies" you say?
The spirochete is very cunning microbe.
At first it hides in the ulcer...
But then, disturbed by some
country doctor's therapy, what does it do?
I don't know!
--Lie down.
It hides more deeply, that's what it does.
Slowly penetrating the lymphoglandular barriers.
Then starts a long journey inside you,
you know where to?
--No.
Inside the blood vessels, that slick!
It flows through arteries and veins,
to the spleen, to the kidneys...
Until it settles down in the liver.
Liver is the "round table" of the
pale spirochete.
And you have a whole army of those
in your liver.
A colossal summon!
As we're about to verify.
Get dressed.
First, the Wasserman test.
We'll have the results in 7 days.
Don't worry, we have the means
to beat the spirochete.
We'll knock it down, don't worry.
I do worry! I can't stand it anymore without...
You know...
I been patient but I have limits!
This way I'll end up "giving away
what I received"!
50!
Easy! You're hurting me!
It's tight in the back!
--Calm down, I'll be gentle!
You want this corset tied up or not?
--One string at a time, please!
Look at this... nice idea...
Wait... don't move, dear...
See? It was nothing!
What a shame to wrap up such boobs!
So many women in the world...
I'll beat this... I have to!
If St. Catherine Virgin helps me...
The virgin helps me...
The virgin...
One-two... three-four.
Dismissed... ten minutes break.
Hi, Flora.
--Camola! Why are you here in Milan?
Important stuff... Appeal Court.
I remembered you were here too,
so here I am.
So kind of you... I feel so alone
being away from Luino.
I'm lonely too here.
I used to see you grow up and think:
"Look how pretty she's getting"!
"A pretty young woman"!
Well... I'll be 18 next March...
now I'm still 17...
Yes... but... even at 17 you can be a woman...
You think so?
--Yes... you can go out dancing...
Maybe not dancing...
--Smoke cigarettes.
--Smoke?
Or at least... go for a walk...
Shall we?
--Ok! I'll ask for permission to leave!
This is my room.
In the city there's few places where
one can go... the country is far away...
In public parks there's always the cops...
In the city, two people who want to
smoke in peace, must go to a hotel room...
Of course there's also a bed...
don't get afraid though...
They also have the bidet...
Nevermind, this is the city...
rooms with beds and bidets...
The bed is soft though... feel it yourself.
But it's softer here...
One moment...
Camola...
--Flora... my virgin...
But I'm not a virgin...
--You're not?
No...
--You're not??
With all those male cousins,
I've never been a virgin...
--Oh Lord!
Isn't it better this way?
What are you doing?
Have you gone mad?
You can go in.
--Morning...
--Morning! Come in!
Sorry if I ask you, but...
how long since you've been with a woman?
Tell the truth.
--I told you! Since when I'm sick, I swear!
Good... then go out, turn right in Goose Street,
at no. 77 is the sweetest brothel in Milan.
Don't waste any more time,
go out and screw away!
Brothel? But I'm sick...
Here's the Wasserman results, all negative!
You have never been sick at all!
Never?
--Not you, nor your ancestors.
Then Ines... I knew she was a saint!
--Pardon?
Keep this paper... if you have doubts,
just read it.
But the ulcer...
--Herpes simplex, just a fever.
And the "little fellas"?
--The world is filled with what you
call "little fellas"...
Air, water... one must be able to discern.
Your doctor is just a dumbass.
No... he's an asshole...
Who's there?
--It's me, Camola.
I'm here to greet and thank you,
I just got back from Milan.
Good, good...
It's late, shall I send him away?
No, leave Camola alone!
Mamma, I'm as good as new!
How you doing, Mama?
See? You're cured!
--Never been sick at all!
Here I am.
Don't look, you rascal!
What you're looking at?
Mamma! Mamma!
I'm holding you! I'm holding you!
Bambina!
Bambina!
I'll call the doctor!
--Ain't no use for the doctor... call
the priest... my time has come...
I won't pass the night...
--Don't say that!
I want the priest... I don't wanna
die in sin...
You'll see it's nothing, Mammarosa!
Father, we can't go in there!
What will the Archbishop say?
The Lord says otherwise.
It's a disobedience...
--A soul is a soul.
Let's all go out.
Finally you too...
Here, just like in church...
everyone came at least once.
Let's just think about your soul now.
"In the name of the father, the son..."
Father... I did what I did,
but never harmed no one...
What could I do?
I was born and raised inside a brothel...
God knows it all... the important thing
is the faith.
How long since you confessed?
This is the waiting room, the "atrium", as she
calls it. Rooms are upstairs.
As I was saying...
Coffee?
--No! No!
Say a nice Mass for me, will you?
How do you prefer it?
Simple, solemn or sung?
You too have 3 options then...
SIMPLE L.5
DOUBLE L.10
HALF HOUR L.20
Yes, I too sell something...
but not the toughest service...
Confession is free.
"I absolve you from your sins,
in the name of the father, the son...."
Don't cry... the Lord is forgiving me...
He just told me... and he's from Milan,
just like me...
(SING IN LATIN)
The hat!
--Shhht!
Take off the hat!
--Ah, right!
It fell!
Dammit!
Tomorrow I'm opening the basement.
"What did he say... pacem tua pecatis mei..."
"He's opening the basement..." (SINGS IN LATIN)
You could at least keep us dry.
--The lake overflowed, if you don't like it
you can leave.
No! We stay right here!
--Nine!
I play for fun, not for money,
but losing this way makes me so mad!
What do you want more?
--50 to play.
--On it!
Eight! Sweet!
Better that waste time working, isn't it?
The lake is rising... looks like
we're in a swamp here.
I think it's time to go...
--Too soon, Rimediotti!
We said we were gonna see the dawn!
2 more hours!
We all can swim, can't we?
--Yes!
Bless you!
Quick! Put 'em where
everyone can see 'em!
You, here!
ATTACK TO FASCIST ITALY!
15 ITALIANS SLAUGHTERED
AT THE UAL-UAL PASS.
Give me one, I got an idea.
"Refugium peccatorum" (sinners' hideout).
Like this.
Now you all gonna be drafted,
you bunch of faggots!
Are you done?
Let's go!
CALL TO ARMS FOR THE 1911 CLASS.
It's sunny outside.
--Inside here you lose track of time.
--One more day has gone.
What day is it?
--Thursday or Friday?
It's Friday! St. Venerina Virgin!
I could play for another week.
Friday?
Today is Friday??
--It is.
So what?
But we're here since Wednesday!
--Yes.
Two days??
--So what?
--The horse!
My horse! Sweet Jesus and Mary!
--What's with the horse??
I haven't fed him for 2 days!
I killed my horse to play cards!
My job! My living!
Damn those cards!
Don't swear! A man insulting cards is like
a child spitting on the breast that feeds him.
Come on, I'll help you.
Let's go!
You're heavier all the time,
must be the sins on your conscience!
My sins are light cause
they don't have remorse.
Bronzino!
He's not here!
--The horse is gone! He's desperate after the horse!
Go after them! Don't lose 'em!
The stable is empty!
--How fun!
Every day it's a different show!
--I won't miss this one!
Bronzino!
My beautiful horse!
My horse!
He's less beast than his owner,
he managed to save himself!
Lucky ass... plays for the first time and wins...
and his horse saves himself!
The horse didn't die after all...
--I'm nearly dying instead!
Tough climb, huh?
Good boy! Eat up!
Now, if you'll excuse me...
--Nice idea.
Don't turn around, I'll join you.
We live a sweet life, don't we?
Cards, women, work little as possible...
And now here we are, admiring the lake,
with this fresh air on our asses...
Look what I found!
--Hey! Cards!
Come here, shitters! We play!
Wow!
--Come on, help me out!
Come over here!
Cards! Always cards!
What a great destiny!
Come, Peppino! We play "scopa d'asso"!
--Here I am!
Where did you find 'em?
--Over there.
Here's the Ace!
--Again with your damn luck!
SUBTITLES BY BARISHNIKOV@KICKASS
--Moron! That ain't no laughing matter!
Queroni... watering plants?
Can't you see I'm changing the water
to my bird?
Set up all three.
Be quiet.
Take the cards.
--Who shuffles?
Rimediotti, as always.
Why always him?
--Who else?
Him and him only.
You pawned your grandma's
golden snapper, didn't you?
Rimediotti, put away the hat,
you know it's bad luck.
--Again? Put it away, please.
Leave it home already!
I feel I'm gonna lose.
--Cash ready?
--Here, salary envelope still virgin.
Who got the deck?
--I do.
5 to play.
--Got it.
Card.
Three. --Wow!
--10 to play... I got you this time!
Covered.
--Good for you!
Strong start for Rimediotti.
--We'll see about that.
8!
--First screw up...
Live and learn.
--Like if he was gonna win this...
I give up the deck, "playing well
is a crust of bread".
Deck away!
--I'll take it!
No, wait. Priority to who's already
sitting, I'll take it.
20 to play.
--Got it.
Here... here...
Rascals...
Spreafico, how's the "fifteenth"?
All too skinny... and I like some girth.
Anyway, I did my duty.
What's that you said before?
--"Hard dick, perfect fascist".
You said good!
Alright, duty is calling us!
Have you got your gun?
--I always have it... summon!
"Anti-fag squad", form two rows!
Forward march!
"Daughter I wanna give you for husband
a good fascist, yes I do...."
"So that every night, with the club in his hand,
yes I do..."
I cover 100.
Card.
I'm good.
--Fuck!
With 5 you stay, come on!
--This is just luck!
I give the deck up.
200 to play.
--I cover half.
You miserable! I'm good for it all!
--Cover the 200.
I play on trust.
--Cover! Cover!
It's not mistrust... it's the rule.
You cowards!
I have the right to some credit!
You got the right to quit.
You got bad luck, let it go.
I'll show you bad luck!
Yea, go... we wait.
Such bad luck cannot last all night long!
It just can't!
I'll show those bums!
"Cover!" To ME!
I'll drown 'em all!
What time is it?
--1 am and all is fine.
Don't bullshit me...
Come here, you loser...
only with me you gonna win...
--You shut up!
Win or lose, I'm leaving at 4 am.
I have the train to Bellinzona.
I leave at 3, as usual.
Be careful, Migliavacca... I saw
Spreafico and his squad around.
What's he got to do with me?
Here he comes...
Let's see who's gonna steal these!
--You gonna wear those stairs out tonight...
100 to play.
Got it.
Card.
7! 200 to play.
Card.
One.
Now what?
Now you pay for the table
cause this is a public place!
The "cagnotte", gentlemen!
Plus the extra for the reserved room!
10 lira each, it's 70 lira!
Cover! Cover! Bets are overdue!
It's the rule, the fee is due.
That's a stupid rule...
We're gettin 'em back anyway...
--It's the tone what bothers me...
I pay my part... and leave.
Yea, go... he's got some pants to try on...
OK, let's move on.
Damn tailor... he's got no right
to leave with my money!
There's the right of the heart and the
right of the ass... and he's giving away the second one...
Just play, Camola.
--400 to play, who covers?
I cover 70. --Not me.
--Still 330 to cover.
Not with Sberzi... tonight bad luck
is attached to him like a stench.
Then it's 70 to play.
For you... for me.
Card.
I stay. --9! You thought you were gonna
teach me cards, you hillbillies!
Back in London, I wiped clean
many a Lord!
You wiped many a toilet clean in London...
--Like I'm gonna wipe your pockets
clean, you shitheads!
140 to play!
--Covered.
Card.
Here's the steak!
Nine!
Sir, you don't know how to behave
at the table... you have to know...
...I played with Edward VII when he
still was Prince of Wales and I tell you...
Eight.
Your damn luck...
Luck is female... and she likes to
sit on something hard...
Like if he's the only hard one around...
--50 to play. --Covered.
Eight. 100 to play.
20. --10.
--Can I play on trust?
I stay.
7. --I got 6.
--Can I play on trust??
Shut up already!
--Enough!
Enough! Go away all of you!
You're a bunch of cheaters!
Out of here! All of you!
No more playing at the Metropol!
Stay here and don't move!
"Venice" has gone insane.
--Nutjob!
Silence!
Scatter! Move!
Hey, what will you pay me for
this fancy stuff?
I don't need a skinned rabbit.
It's beaver! I paid good money for this!
I'll give you 200.
--The hell!
Alright, 250.
--No way! Go higher!
Let's go to sleep already...
--No! Now we stay and play!
300.
Playing is a vice... and for a vice,
as for a son, you do anything.
It looks good on you.
--Is it worth?
It is... it is...
It seems tailor-made for you,
by Migliavacca himself maybe.
Fancy, isn't it?
I can even go to Milan with this.
Alright, let's play now!
Who's got the deck?
--100 to play.
Eight.
Nine.
--Nice one!
200.
I stay.
Seven.
Enough... it's like hitting
someone while he's shitting.
Why enough? Tonight I got the hammer
and I use it.
--Right.
Attention! Salute! Stand easy!
--Hey!
Trump players, you gonna go to jail!
What?
--The patrol is around!
Guards... men with boots!
I already got a warning!
Everyone in the rooms!
They won't believe we're customers...
--Doesn't matter, as long as we're not
caught playing!
Camola, help me!
I got a bad leg!
Come on...
--Yes, good boy!
Quick, they're all empty!
17, 18 and 19!
He's gonna charge us for the rooms too...
Keep the lights out!
Lights out! Lights out!
You go in room 16!
Damn perverts! Get 'em!
Good Lord!
He's running!
--Get the other one!
Take him there, under the light!
This scumbag!
Vicious scumbag!
Like that! Take 'em off!
Didn't mommy tell you the ass
is for shitting only?
I was just passing by!
Is that right?
--I was just walking... humming...
Humming, huh?
And who's the other degenerate?
Just a guy passing by...
He was passing by and ended up inside you, huh?
Ready?
Good... don't worry, it's a simple
disinfestation...
Quit crying, we're doing this
for your own good!
Out of here! Get lost!
Don't ever come back to Luino!
Here we do things in front, not in the back!
Let's keep on sweeping!
On the march... who doesn't march, may rot!
What a pain in the ass... all this mess
just for one poof.
--Who was that guy?
I don't know... probably some
visiting butt from Switzerland.
Hurry up you leeches!
We have a brand new Italian tragedy:
the torch in the ass.
With 5 you stay... what the hell...
Come on, in the basement!
Time is money!
It's the train to Bellinzona!
--No way! No excuses!
Nobody goes nowhere!
Now you gotta keep playing!
Crooks! Cheaters!
With you, one must keep
the knife under the table!
What the hell!
I gotta go to the station!
What shall we do with this nutjob?
Out of the way!
Come back! Banks are about to open!
I'll fill your asses with cash!
Look at this!
--We'd make a great fountain in midtown!
Try not to flood the lake!
--It's late, Camola... we have to go.
Where are you going?
--Come here!
"Who doesn't pee along,
has done something wrong"!
Time to work, Bronzino.
Bertinelli, we gonna need
absolute silence now.
I brought the professor,
"master of water".
Always having a good time you...
make it quick, I'm about to leave.
You go... "work will ennoble you"...
Still closed... come, I'll show you
the hydraulic situation.
Here we have a drain pipe...
here another one...
Here is the siphon,
behind it's the toilet bowl.
You stay here and listen,
I'll check the balcony.
--Don't worry.
Be careful.
--Yea!
Holy Virgin, she's up!
How beautiful!
My Ines...
Ines... back inside!
Regards, Cavalier Tritapane.
Pain in the ass...
What eyes... what skin...
looks like the statue of a saint...
Camola! Come here, I heard a noise!
It's her... she's in the bathroom.
She turned on the light... closed the door...
She walks... 2 steps... 3...
Lifting the seat!
Pulls up her nightgown, bless her!
She's sitting down!
She's peeing! She's peeing!
"The chant of the muff"!
She's gotta have at least
one pound of it!
Ines... my Ines...
she's singing... singing...
So, what do you say?
So?
--She gives it away.
The chant of "rima pudendi",
known since the middle ages...
...is modulated by a precise
anatomic condition.
If there's traffic inside the "vestibulum vaginae"...
--What you mean "traffic"?
You know... "traffic"...
a steam is formed, a canal...
And the flow gushes and twists...
It's almost like a gentle gush in
the untouched virgin...
More decise in the used woman...
A waterfall in the overused.
Hers wasn't a waterfall!
She's used anyway... maybe not full-time...
let's say once a week...
When her brother-in-law, Cavalier Tritapane,
doesn't show up at the cafe like every other night.
This is not a diagnosis,
this is gossip!
A gossip that went on for 6 months...
"vox populi"... becomes history.
What racket!
Auntie, the photographer
looked at your bottom.
What crazy idea!
--He did.
We won the battle of the Adamello!
Look who's here, Sandrina!
Miss Ines...
Attention! Salute! Stand easy!
Have a good day, Mr. Brovelli.
--Thank you.
Good morning, Miss Ines.
--Morning.
Don't insist, we have to be home by noon.
Have a good day, Miss Ines.
You didn't sleep last night, Peppino.
Hey!
--Who... me? I slept like a log!
Playing cards is not a sin...
telling lies it is.
Say one "Pater, Ave, Gloria"
before leaving.
Morning, father.
--Morning, Miss.
Our Sandrina has come to visit
the Holy Mary?
I love St. Anthony, Jesus and all the saints...
And I hate Satan and his temptations.
Is she going to Sunday school?
Getting ready for her First Communion?
Yes, she's so diligent.
There's 7 deadly sins: pride, envy, lust...
Let's think of the virtues first.
The three theological virtues are:
faith, hope and charity.
I'll give you a book for your
spiritual exercises.
Does the horse have the habit?
--Yes he does!
Then it's redhibitory action.
--What?
The habit is indisputable.
--What shall I do?
--Leave everything to me.
Alright then...
--Mr. Camola! Better late than never!
We just finished, type these letters for me.
Then we agree... what the hell
are you doing?
What's that thing??
--Something I need.
But it's dangerous!
--It's gotta stay there, otherwise how could
I nail women with my bad leg?
I thought it was here to plug a hole...
That's right, to plug holes!
Wanna see how?
One... two...
Three!
Like this and this...
get it now, numbskull?
Oh I see... holes!
I'll see you.
--Bye.
Those letters must be on the train to
Bellinzona, you'll take 'em yourself to the station.
As soon as you're done.
My pleasure.
--See you.
Hey, Queroni!
--Hey, Camola... you're late!
You missed the Milan-Basel-Paris...
a beauty, completely packed!
It stopped for almost 3 minutes,
such beauties in the dinner wagon!
Even an Indian, with a red stamp right
in the forehead!
Parietti made me work late, dammit!
These must go on the Bellinzona train.
Hurry up! It leaves in 5 minutes!
--Bye, Queroni.
Hey, post guy! Wait!
--Hand it over.
Careful with those.
--Yes, yes...
Let go of me, or else I'll tell your brother!
--Let her go!
Go away, if punishment you fear, wicked child!
I'm telling you beware, Francesca!
Today you're dooming yourself!
Ouch! Damn!
Aurelia Armonio, leading actress of the
Dramatic Society of Val Marchirolo.
Delighted.
Tolini Mario, secretary...
my pleasure.
I play the "tragic lover" roles.
Seemed more tragedy than love...
It's always tragedy in the fifth act!
Love is in the first four...
--Yes...
Kiss my eyes, my temples,
my cheeks, my throat...
Like this!
Hold my wrists!
Turn my soul upside down!
What are you doing??
How dare you??
I was upsetting the soul...
Fool! Who do you take me for?
Why are you crying now?
I'm sentimental, shy, bashful...
Don't be impatient!
Flesh must be handled first!
We're getting going...
--Not yet...
Not us... the train.
The train already left,
this wagon stays here.
What yo mean "here"?
It's not possible!
My play! Good Lord!
I have to be at the after-work of
Val Marchirolo by 8!
I'll take you on my sidecar.
How nice...
Call me by name...
Let's go.
Quick, I'm late!
--Almost done.
God... I'm so excited...
Come on!
You look just like a great artist!
My god! The excitement is upsetting me!
Give me the vase!
--This?
No! Behind the mirror!
--Ah... the bedpan...
Come on, hurry up!
Help me out!
Keep it up or I'll get
my chiffon all wet!
What are you looking at, you nasty boy...
Big boy... what are you dreaming of?
Aurelia... what I just heard
overturns the study of a lifetime!
My friend Rimediotti has been
developing a theory for 60 years...
Based on your "psst", according
to him, you should be an 8 years old virgin!
Don't worry... mine is a special "thingy"...
I hate vulgarity!
I managed to make an elegant thing
of that.
My "psst"... I adjusted it...
educated it...
My pee acts!
Aurelia! You're on!
--My God! Here we go!
Let go of me or else I'll tell your brother!
Go away if punishment you don't want,
you wicked child!
I'm telling you beware, Francesca!
Today you're dooming yourself!
Take me!
I'm no longer alone!
Now there's two of us!
Take me!
Together we'll ride the fiery steed!
Yes! Ride! Ride!
Damn you're hungry!
What does your husband do at night?
The poor man walks... he's a
railroad keeper...
Railroad?
10 miles every night, back and forth
checking out the railroad.
There he is.
A material man!
Don't look!
Don't look at your daughter that way!
Don't look at my adulterous shame!
Don't condemn me!
You know how Costante treats me!
He just walks!
Here's my ruin!
My desperation!
My joy!
You never got me, Costante!
I'm an artist!
I need to express myself!
Yea! You never got her!
You never got her!
You don't know what you're missing, Costante!
I got you this time!
You're a disgrace!
I'll show you!
Guess I'll be on my way now...
Unhand me! Let me go!
I wanna leave you!
You disgust me! Whore!
I'm gonna get you and kill you!
I'M AT CHURCH.
Hey... did you play last night?
Move over!
What a face you got!
Did you lose?
I had my Communion... I'm filled with Grace...
You're obviously not used to it...
be careful, it could harm you.
So, who won last night?
We didn't even play!
Sberzi shut down the joint for good!
We gotta fix this situation...
if we can't even play anymore...
What are we gonna do tonight?
The holy water...
"St. Anthony of the piggy"...
make me screw Miss Ines!
Goodday!
--Hurry with that ice!
You're getting the floor wet!
What's it gonna be?
--A whitey.
Giovanni, white wine for Queroni!
That jerk Sberzi doesn't even
say "hello" anymore!
He wants us to beg him...
I bet he's dying to play.
Listen... If we talk to him politely, maybe...
Why don't you try and talk to Sberzi?
We won't find a better place than his basement.
Let him heal his wounds before.
Anything to hold some cards and send
away boredom and bad thoughts!
Mrs. Wilma, why your husband
don't wanna play anymore?
Maybe, at night, he likes me
better than cards...
And I also like my husband in bed
better than in the basement.
He's not that great,
but I don't have a substitute...
The town is full of "spare parts"...
What are you drinking?
--A whitey.
Where it went?
--Under your heart...
Giovanni, white wine for Mr. Camola.
Come, I'll buy you coffee.
One coffee and one beer.
--Spreafico, how about one "goriziana"?
Why not... but I warn you, playing with me
is not like shaving priests.
I play too!
--How about you?
--Me too!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5... I start!
Set the pins!
Good one, Peppino!
--Here they come!
Nice!
My turn, Camola.
To you!
To you, Spreafico.
Tough shot.
It's safer to grab the ball
and give away 3 points.
You grab your balls!
You know what?
I'm gonna play it asswise.
What's funny?? This happens to
the ones who got some balls!
If they hurt you can pull out...
--I don't pull out! I always go forward!
Excuse me, Spreafico... this shot is
impossible without the extensor...
The word "impossible" is not for me!
You wimp! You put the ball
there on purpose!
No way! I wouldn't dare...
How can I go out with my pants like this??
I can fix those in no time...
--Forget it!
It's a matter of decency....
--Alright but be quick!
Did I sting you?
--No but be careful anyway!
Hury up!
If you keep shaking...
Alright, I won't shake... but hurry up!
Enough! Enough!
Excuse me...
--Excuse my ass!
"I'll guard my country, but
may God guard my ass"!
Shut up, you wimp!
Hey, "ball workers"! The new fifteenth
is coming! Let's go!
Calm down!
--Alright... I'm calm...
Good job!
--Forget about goriziana...
I wonder if Tripolina is back.
Is Triestina there?
Attention! Salute! Stand easy!
Hey, what are you doing?
You can't bring that inside!
Leave the bike outside!
Shut up, woman! This bike entered Trieste
and it may as well enter a brothel!
The bike can't stay here!
--Calm down, woman... look!
1, 2, 3!
Folds like a chair!
This is not a garage!
Oh, what do I care!
Look at that!
Here I come!
How beautiful! Reminds me of
Mount Grappa! Sounds good too!
That guy's head doesn't work right!
--He hasn't come here to work with the head...
Be quiet you!
So, what are we gonna do?
--Take him upstairs, will you?
I'll make you die with pleasure!
--Forward, Savoia!
Brovelli!
Behave, ok?
Of course! Attention... salute... stand easy...
Let's go, beautiful!
Ma'am...
Mammarosa... can I have a word?
I came all the way from Bellinzona...
Here comes the Swiss!
I came to ask you
to go upstairs with me...
Just a Swiss idea!
I retired 20 years ago!
Can't you see I'm big as a mountain?
You'd look like a mouse on top of a cow!
But...
I'm well hung, you know...
Let it go! For me, the bell tower of Carmine
wouldn't be enough!
It's odd... it's been nice with you...
Usually it's like putting an ear plug on.
But it's nice with you...
why don't you do the whole night?
Come on... you tell that to all clients...
It's true! See how I fake it?
I wasn't like that with you, was I?
Is this a priest?
--Yes, he's my brother.
Your brother's a priest?
--So what? He was ordered 3 years ago.
I was gonna become a nun myself
when I turned 18.
Then I said to myself: "Me? In seclusion?"
Here instead it's all about freedom, huh?
Hey! Stop teasing my ass!
Ass? That's an idea...
You know what? I'll spend the night after all.
--Finally!
No!
--What you mean "no"?
Not on the mouth! It's disgusting!
--Come on, you nun!
Don't get offended... I just don't like it...
But I need some help
to get back in the mood...
I'll take care of that,
I'm good at my job you know! Turn around!
Where are you going browsing, you devil?
--Concentrate!
Camola, come here a moment.
Hey, Mamma.
Go out the back door or I'll get trouble.
Whole nights aren't allowed anymore...
I made an exception for you.
Have a cigarette.
--Thank you.
My "big nose"!
You couldn't sleep last night?
Love pains keep you awake?
I wish... just pains...
You're in great shape, the picture of health!
I used to...
Holy cow, Mammarosa!
If you fart into a bag of flour,
Luino is gonna be foggy for 3 months!
"Pants of Migliavacca Giuseppe...
tailor, conductor and faggot..."
"...caught in the act in the
Garibaldi Square urinal."
They caught Migliavacca!
--Insane!
You think they arrested him?
--No, they probably burned his ass...
Wait...
--Poor man, what a shame...
What's he gonna do?
--Mind your business, go to work.
Let's go, Bronzino!
"I CAN'T STAND THE SHAME. SORRY."
Stop, Migliavacca!
What the hell are you doing??
Wait... here...
Have you lost your mind?
Doing such a thing!
What a scandal! What a shame!
It's nothing... tomorrow no one will remember...
No, too much shame... I'll never be
able to see nobody...
I can't go out... I can't work... it's over for me.
Come on! Tonight we gonna play!
Rimediotti opens a joint in his brother's house,
we're back playing!
No, I can't go...
Stop it! What you think you've done?
It's the oldest thing in the world!
How many have done that?
Socrates, Leonardo, Julius Cesar...
Even Julius Cesar?
--Yea!
You're in good company... it's also the
Cardinals' favorite passtime...
Next time you take 'em off,
make it indoor...
It was all a setup by Spreafico!
Yea, you keep saying that in low voice,
maybe the others will believe it...
Let's go get some air.
Come!
--What?
What a woman!
Look what you're missing!
Isn't the most beautiful ass in Lombardy?
Yes, it is...
Come in!
May I?
Morning, Mr. Tolini.
--Ines! Miss Ines... good morning!
I have to give you this...
--And the kid?
--She's not here...
Please, have a seat!
--No, thanks... I just gotta leave
these papers...
It's from my brother-in-law,
Cavalier Tritapane.
I'll take care of these... we will.
Then, since we're in good hands,
I might as well go.
No! Just a moment!
I gotta give you a receipt, have a seat.
Thanks.
It's so calm in here...
Feels like we're not in town anymore.
So quiet...
Just how I imagined it.
--Really?
You been thinking of my office then!
Sometimes... passing by...
You can hear the typewriter from the street...
it's loud.
Miss Ines... there's no need for the receipt.
I...
...gotta tell you something...
What?
I've never been to Milan!
It' a shame... it's beautiful.
--One day I'm gonna go and see it all!
Not even I know it all...
I was in a factory sowing purses all the time.
But here in Luino you're a lady...
you could visit around town.
Well, when my brother-in-law is out for business
and Sandrina's at school I'm free...
We could go on a tour in my sidecar!
--We better not...
People already talk enough behind my back.
In Milan I was a slave to work,
here they all look like they wanna eat me alive.
The city is alienating, but at least
they leave you alone.
Here, I can't have a normal life.
Everybody's looking at me.
Should be a good thing, but I always feel
like I'm in a shop window.
Then the gossip about me and my brother-in-law...
No! You are the sister of the deceased,
no one can say bad about you!
I came in his house out of respect
for my poor dead sister.
And for Sandrina, left without a mother...
You're a saint! Let me say that loud!
If YOU'd say that, who knows what
they would think...
They'd think...
Well... that I... that you... that us...
Wait in there!
But...
May I?
Hey, attorney!
Here's Giustina!
Morning.
--Nice to meet you.
This is a bad time actually...
--She's a very smart girl! She went to school!
Have you got a job for her?
You both promised me...
Of course, it's all set!
Parietti talked to Dr. Guerlasca.
Where is it...
Here it is! Go to his office
in Garibaldi Square and you'll be hired!
Great!
--You're a friend!
I'll get you something for that...
--No, thanks!
I owe you then! --We do!
--I'll see you, nice to have met you.
Miss Ines!
Miss Ines!
Ines...
Please, leave... we shouldn't have...
I feel ashamed...
What have we done wrong?
We were going along so nice...
You opened yourself to me... and I always
looked for a worthy woman...
I thought... I hoped...
--Are you crying??
A tissue...
What's wrong? You got a cold?
It's you... when we're close, I feel
something rising... rising...
I do this to you?
--Yes!
I've never met a woman like you...
I only imagined... dreamed...
I'm just a housemaid...
No, you're not!
You're Venus!
The Holy Mary!
Be quiet! The priest could come!
Please, leave...
Only if you promise me something.
--What?
That we'll meet again.
I can't...
--At the office... just me and you...
Maybe...
--When?
I ain't promising nothing.
Next week, maybe...
--Maybe...
10 lire for the room, half for the light
and 1 for using the toilet.
Hey... 7 coffees is 1, 40 lire...
Coffees are on me!
--Alright then.
I'll sign those to you. --Of course!
--Plenty of water, please!
5 to play!
--There's an old saying about coffee...
For you...
--It's better to start slow...
"Coffee must be sweet as love,
pure like an angel..."
"Hot as hell and black as
some people's soul."
Flora! Go to bed!
Pietro, you too come.
7! --5.
--20 to play!
See who's wearing pants here?
--It's the last time!
Is it good?
--Yes, it's good!
If I don't play alone, I lose!
Who's there?
--Nothing... just Clementino.
There he is.
100 to play. --Evening... hi Camola.
--Good night.
Carluccia...
Good evening.
--Evening...
Card. Three.
Your dumb luck!
--That's right!
Rosetta...
To you... to me...
Good evening.
--Evening...
Who's playing?
What a fine family...
--You can say that loud, Queroni!
Rosetta is a pearl...
--Pearls are good... you thread 'em both ways...
What are you saying??
--Nothing!
25 to play.
--Covered.
Good evening.
--Hi, Andrea.
8! 50 to play.
--Me again.
Bye, uncle.
--Bye.
How many grandkids have you got?
--Nine.
Seven! --What?
--What are you doing?
He meant nine grandkids!
Play it again!
Not my day... with your permission,
I quit the table.
Ok, Ok...
--I'm leaving.
Yea, you go...
Migliavacca, listen...
What do you want?
--Still 50 to play.
I'm in for 15.
Very smart, after what happened...
I won't be around to save you next time...
Two! Passing the deck.
50 to play.
--I take the deck.
Eight!
Morning, Camola... morning, uncle.
--Hi.
100 to play.
--On it.
Morning...
Hi...
--Card.
What a hand!
--Nice to sleep in roses, isn't it?
Deck here, 100 to play.
--I cover.
--Not me.
Morning, everyone.
Hi, uncle.
--Hi.
I stay.
8!
--I knew it...
I pass the deck, he's not gonna last...
We'll see about that...
Hi, uncle.
--It's morning then...
Bye, everyone.
--Bye, Flora.
Well... we burned away one more night,
we might as well go home.
Yes, it's better.
--Let's go.
Gather round! Come on, hurry!
Line up! In order!
I brought the kid...
--A little late...
Tritapane Alessandra!
--Alright, get in line.
Miss Ines, good morning.
Are you leaving already?
I'll just go to church for a minute.
--Good.
Today is a great day for Italy and Italians,
everyone must be here.
I'll be on the stage with
Mazza Turconi, the federal.
I'll say my prayers and be back.
--Right! Church and Country!
God and The Duce!
What a filly...
One! Two! One! Two!
Cheers!
That slick Camola put on the black shirt!
--He's gotta be plotting something...
Brovelli! Where's your black shirt?
--I'm having it cleaned... here!
Two steps forward!
"Private Marchisio, private Perotti,
private Orlà..."
Oh, right... he's dead too... I forgot...
He was a good man, a friend of mine...
"NCO Amedeo..."
"And for Benito Mussolini..."
--Here come the billy clubs!
Let's go to the parade!
"Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!"
--Hey, are you crazy?
Forward, Savoia!
--What Savoia.. salute The Duce!
--He hasn't got a black shirt either!
Take his jacket off!
--Now you gonna wear this!
Put on this! Today whole Italy
wears a black shirt! It's Rome's Christmas!
Do you understand?
--Hey! What are you doing?
Say "Viva The Duce"!
--Don't you see he's just a loony?
He's a saboteur!
--No, he's a war veteran!
In '18, on mount Carso, a bomb
flew right between his legs... right, Brovelli?
Yea! I lifted my leg and it went right under it!
Or else, bye-bye binoculars...
Viva Fascism!
What's this racket?
--Nothing, nothing... it's all right.
Hey, nutjob!
I'm gonna kill you!
Wimp! Subversive! Bolshevik!
--I'll send you...
Don't get mad, he's crazy!
--I'll take care of him...
Private, Brovelli! Attention!
Salute the King!
He's gonna stay this way for a while,
the parade is safe, let's go!
On your places!
--Mazza-Turconi is arriving!
To the dock, quick!
--Alright!
Duce! Duce!
Duce! Duce!
For Comrade Mazza-Turconi...
eja eja... alalà!
For Benito Mussolini, Duce of Fascism,
eja eja... alalà!
Viva Comrade Mazza-Turconi!
Ines!
--I just came to...
Here we are.
--Isn't there a balcony to talk from?
There's the "arengario"...
--Very well! Let's all go there!
But Garibaldi Square is large, and people are few...
--Doesn't matter! Let's go there!
Yes, sir!
Comrades! Young fascists! Little Italians!
The parade moves to Garibaldi Square!
Gather under the arengario!
Let's go, comrades!
Put up the flag, hurry!
To us!
Come on! Stay together!
Viva comrade Mazza-Turconi!
Excuse me for a moment,
I'll go powder my nose. --Yes.
The hills from which the
Roman eagles flew... comrades!
What's that man doing?
Arrest him! Beat him up! Shot him!
Squad! With me!
--Let's get him!
Ines!
The fascists are here!
--Patience, I'll be right out...
Open the door! Subversive!
Knock the door down!
Search all the rooms!
--I'll check the other one!
Wait! Over here!
You show us your front
and I'll break your behind!
Search everywhere!
There's a woman too.
--Give me that!
Dammit!
Hey! This looks like Ines' ass!
It is!
Dammit!
--Look in the bathroom!
Viva!
Who dares doing this to the Country,
the Duce and to me?
Another insult, Your Excellence!
God bless you...
Dress up this woman and bring her
to the headquarter!
Brovelli! Brove...
Private Brovelli!
What you're doing still there?
Go home, war is over!
Ohi... my arm!
Nice shirt... good fabric...
shame it's black...
What a surprise!
How are you, Mr. Tolini?
Mr. Tolini is my father... I am Camola.
It's you.
--Morning, doc.
Have you got 2 minutes for me?
--Yes, come in.
Something wrong? --No, nothing...
--What's new?
Tell me.
Maybe you heard about... April 21...
I haven't felt well ever since,
I got fever all the time.
April 21... a memorable date, even for
your private life, dear Tolini.
Yea, it could have gone better...
let's hope in the future...
Your future's not very bright
in that sense...
Why?
The dart of destiny hit you right here.
It's a simple fever, isn't?
--I'd say no, considering your many friendships...
Giustina, a slide.
I got bad news for you, be strong...
Cavalier Tritapane had syphilis.
And considering what you shared,
even only for one time...
On April 21...
I say this is a syphilitic ulcer.
--What?
Worst thing that can happen to a man.
Syphilitic ulcer?
--But if we act quick maybe we can block it.
Block it! Block it!
--So, an aggressive therapy right away.
Then a cyclical therapy, every 6 months
for three years.
Me with Ines... my God,
don't let it be true!
I knew it, the little fellas are there.
--Little fellas?
How many! How they move around!
I got syph... sy... the little fellas!
Morning, Mrs. Wilma.
Are there any glasses here?
Some water, please.
Nice move... with all the town had to offer,
you picked just the right one...
Lot of hand job for you now...
--Aren't we sophisticated this morning!
Camola! Come here, we play some cards!
I gotta wait noon before going home anyway.
My parents still don't know
that Parietti had to fire me.
Forget about it and play.
--Easy for you to talk...
I have constant fever and all the
injections are wearing me out.
That jerk Tritapane... lucky for him
he has gone... escaped in fact!
Coward... giving that disease
to Ines and me!
Syphilis, terror of terrors!
A name that shakes dicks, asses and hearts.
Think it this way, it's the disease
of the nobles, of the heroes!
D'Annunzio also had it.
Really? --Of course!
He even said it... "I have what I have given".
You know how he healed?
--No. --By raping a virgin.
He raped a virgin... --Yes!
--Come on, now!
They say it changes your blood...
a virgin's blood is purifying!
You know everything... you had a good life,
Côte d'Azur, Beariz, South America...
And Constantinople, where I was
friend to the Gran Visir.
He wanted to make me pasha of Scutari.
Old times... not like these ones,
grey and without air.
If you're born in such a small village...
--You never know in life...
You might suddenly bloom like
a plant in springtime.
You're young, with everything still in front...
Starting from your dick.
Old age is the only true screw-up.
"Jacks drop their spades..."
"And Queens drop their flowers."
Here you go! --No, it was my turn!
--No, it was mine! -- Mine!.
Come on, it's nothing.
Did you feel the needle?
--No, I felt the slap!
You deserve the slap... if you had come
here you wouldn't be sick now.
A man also needs sentiment...
and it's not on your price list.
Sentiment screw you up good this time.
Not sentiment, that was worth it...
with Ines I've known tenderness, love...
The screw up is this thing here!
One day I'll just cut it off and feed it to the dog!
You're not making any sense!
Everything passes, you know!
Forget that jackass, Dr. Guerlasca...
I'll give you a good number.
Go see Dr. Ferri. He's from Milan, like me!
He's a true professor!
How can I go to Milan now?
Think of yourself, stupid!
When you work down there,
everything else is fine too.
It was the right coat for Milan...
Imagine me, strolling in Milan
with a girl and that coat on...
instead of this thing...
It's still yours! When you return me
300 lire you get it back!
Are we ready?
--Yes!
--Come on, then!
Come on!
--We're on our way!
--Ok!
Morning, Mr. Queroni... hi Camola.
Are you going to visit your boyfriend?
No, I'm going to Milan for the "pre-littorians".
My girlfriends are waiting... bye, Camola!
Bye.
If that's what we got for the future...
--Yea, she's kinda ugly... but at least
she's "fresh meat".
Hey! It's leaving!
Take care!
Keep us up to date!
Right here... my doc found the "little fellas".
"Little fellas"... as if they were pets...
The “pale spirochete” is no longer there.
Then the therapies worked!
I'm cured!
The "therapies" you say?
The spirochete is very cunning microbe.
At first it hides in the ulcer...
But then, disturbed by some
country doctor's therapy, what does it do?
I don't know!
--Lie down.
It hides more deeply, that's what it does.
Slowly penetrating the lymphoglandular barriers.
Then starts a long journey inside you,
you know where to?
--No.
Inside the blood vessels, that slick!
It flows through arteries and veins,
to the spleen, to the kidneys...
Until it settles down in the liver.
Liver is the "round table" of the
pale spirochete.
And you have a whole army of those
in your liver.
A colossal summon!
As we're about to verify.
Get dressed.
First, the Wasserman test.
We'll have the results in 7 days.
Don't worry, we have the means
to beat the spirochete.
We'll knock it down, don't worry.
I do worry! I can't stand it anymore without...
You know...
I been patient but I have limits!
This way I'll end up "giving away
what I received"!
50!
Easy! You're hurting me!
It's tight in the back!
--Calm down, I'll be gentle!
You want this corset tied up or not?
--One string at a time, please!
Look at this... nice idea...
Wait... don't move, dear...
See? It was nothing!
What a shame to wrap up such boobs!
So many women in the world...
I'll beat this... I have to!
If St. Catherine Virgin helps me...
The virgin helps me...
The virgin...
One-two... three-four.
Dismissed... ten minutes break.
Hi, Flora.
--Camola! Why are you here in Milan?
Important stuff... Appeal Court.
I remembered you were here too,
so here I am.
So kind of you... I feel so alone
being away from Luino.
I'm lonely too here.
I used to see you grow up and think:
"Look how pretty she's getting"!
"A pretty young woman"!
Well... I'll be 18 next March...
now I'm still 17...
Yes... but... even at 17 you can be a woman...
You think so?
--Yes... you can go out dancing...
Maybe not dancing...
--Smoke cigarettes.
--Smoke?
Or at least... go for a walk...
Shall we?
--Ok! I'll ask for permission to leave!
This is my room.
In the city there's few places where
one can go... the country is far away...
In public parks there's always the cops...
In the city, two people who want to
smoke in peace, must go to a hotel room...
Of course there's also a bed...
don't get afraid though...
They also have the bidet...
Nevermind, this is the city...
rooms with beds and bidets...
The bed is soft though... feel it yourself.
But it's softer here...
One moment...
Camola...
--Flora... my virgin...
But I'm not a virgin...
--You're not?
No...
--You're not??
With all those male cousins,
I've never been a virgin...
--Oh Lord!
Isn't it better this way?
What are you doing?
Have you gone mad?
You can go in.
--Morning...
--Morning! Come in!
Sorry if I ask you, but...
how long since you've been with a woman?
Tell the truth.
--I told you! Since when I'm sick, I swear!
Good... then go out, turn right in Goose Street,
at no. 77 is the sweetest brothel in Milan.
Don't waste any more time,
go out and screw away!
Brothel? But I'm sick...
Here's the Wasserman results, all negative!
You have never been sick at all!
Never?
--Not you, nor your ancestors.
Then Ines... I knew she was a saint!
--Pardon?
Keep this paper... if you have doubts,
just read it.
But the ulcer...
--Herpes simplex, just a fever.
And the "little fellas"?
--The world is filled with what you
call "little fellas"...
Air, water... one must be able to discern.
Your doctor is just a dumbass.
No... he's an asshole...
Who's there?
--It's me, Camola.
I'm here to greet and thank you,
I just got back from Milan.
Good, good...
It's late, shall I send him away?
No, leave Camola alone!
Mamma, I'm as good as new!
How you doing, Mama?
See? You're cured!
--Never been sick at all!
Here I am.
Don't look, you rascal!
What you're looking at?
Mamma! Mamma!
I'm holding you! I'm holding you!
Bambina!
Bambina!
I'll call the doctor!
--Ain't no use for the doctor... call
the priest... my time has come...
I won't pass the night...
--Don't say that!
I want the priest... I don't wanna
die in sin...
You'll see it's nothing, Mammarosa!
Father, we can't go in there!
What will the Archbishop say?
The Lord says otherwise.
It's a disobedience...
--A soul is a soul.
Let's all go out.
Finally you too...
Here, just like in church...
everyone came at least once.
Let's just think about your soul now.
"In the name of the father, the son..."
Father... I did what I did,
but never harmed no one...
What could I do?
I was born and raised inside a brothel...
God knows it all... the important thing
is the faith.
How long since you confessed?
This is the waiting room, the "atrium", as she
calls it. Rooms are upstairs.
As I was saying...
Coffee?
--No! No!
Say a nice Mass for me, will you?
How do you prefer it?
Simple, solemn or sung?
You too have 3 options then...
SIMPLE L.5
DOUBLE L.10
HALF HOUR L.20
Yes, I too sell something...
but not the toughest service...
Confession is free.
"I absolve you from your sins,
in the name of the father, the son...."
Don't cry... the Lord is forgiving me...
He just told me... and he's from Milan,
just like me...
(SING IN LATIN)
The hat!
--Shhht!
Take off the hat!
--Ah, right!
It fell!
Dammit!
Tomorrow I'm opening the basement.
"What did he say... pacem tua pecatis mei..."
"He's opening the basement..." (SINGS IN LATIN)
You could at least keep us dry.
--The lake overflowed, if you don't like it
you can leave.
No! We stay right here!
--Nine!
I play for fun, not for money,
but losing this way makes me so mad!
What do you want more?
--50 to play.
--On it!
Eight! Sweet!
Better that waste time working, isn't it?
The lake is rising... looks like
we're in a swamp here.
I think it's time to go...
--Too soon, Rimediotti!
We said we were gonna see the dawn!
2 more hours!
We all can swim, can't we?
--Yes!
Bless you!
Quick! Put 'em where
everyone can see 'em!
You, here!
ATTACK TO FASCIST ITALY!
15 ITALIANS SLAUGHTERED
AT THE UAL-UAL PASS.
Give me one, I got an idea.
"Refugium peccatorum" (sinners' hideout).
Like this.
Now you all gonna be drafted,
you bunch of faggots!
Are you done?
Let's go!
CALL TO ARMS FOR THE 1911 CLASS.
It's sunny outside.
--Inside here you lose track of time.
--One more day has gone.
What day is it?
--Thursday or Friday?
It's Friday! St. Venerina Virgin!
I could play for another week.
Friday?
Today is Friday??
--It is.
So what?
But we're here since Wednesday!
--Yes.
Two days??
--So what?
--The horse!
My horse! Sweet Jesus and Mary!
--What's with the horse??
I haven't fed him for 2 days!
I killed my horse to play cards!
My job! My living!
Damn those cards!
Don't swear! A man insulting cards is like
a child spitting on the breast that feeds him.
Come on, I'll help you.
Let's go!
You're heavier all the time,
must be the sins on your conscience!
My sins are light cause
they don't have remorse.
Bronzino!
He's not here!
--The horse is gone! He's desperate after the horse!
Go after them! Don't lose 'em!
The stable is empty!
--How fun!
Every day it's a different show!
--I won't miss this one!
Bronzino!
My beautiful horse!
My horse!
He's less beast than his owner,
he managed to save himself!
Lucky ass... plays for the first time and wins...
and his horse saves himself!
The horse didn't die after all...
--I'm nearly dying instead!
Tough climb, huh?
Good boy! Eat up!
Now, if you'll excuse me...
--Nice idea.
Don't turn around, I'll join you.
We live a sweet life, don't we?
Cards, women, work little as possible...
And now here we are, admiring the lake,
with this fresh air on our asses...
Look what I found!
--Hey! Cards!
Come here, shitters! We play!
Wow!
--Come on, help me out!
Come over here!
Cards! Always cards!
What a great destiny!
Come, Peppino! We play "scopa d'asso"!
--Here I am!
Where did you find 'em?
--Over there.
Here's the Ace!
--Again with your damn luck!
SUBTITLES BY BARISHNIKOV@KICKASS